A CALL TO ACT, A CALL TO CHANGE

Pain is a signal our mind gives to our body, and we need to understand it as

Igot married at 23 and was a mum by 25. Like many marriages, our marriage had a couple of hiccups. However, my lovely partner is an excellent supportive person and we thought we were happy; but we were not.

What was it that others couldn’t see? I had gained a lot of weight, and I suffered from severe back pain from the early stages of motherhood. I was lethargic and always was in pain. At 29, I became a mum for the second time. And that was the most challenging time of my life.

I lost my father, who was my strength. I couldn’t play with my kids, my sexual life became non-existent and there was no social life. I continued to brood and cry. I was in deep pain both physically and psychologically. I felt I had lost precious time in my life. And I had at a time in the past thought that I had it all.

You don’t expect to be on the death bed at 30, do you? I started getting comments like, “Your expiry is near”! That was it. I was determined to be healthy back again. And as a result of this choice, things got even more challenging in other ways, and I felt like I was being bullied by myself in my own life. It was an ongoing journey for months, and everything was very challenging. One day, as I sat in my self-pity and pain, I felt everything was so difficult and I had no clue what I needed to do, or where to begin.

Being at the lowest point in my life, I told myself that it didn’t matter what I did, it was going to be very difficult; with two children with their requirements, studies, responsibilities at home, job, relatives and everything else! I saw a bleak future in front of me. I was horrified. I felt I wasn’t strong enough, I wasn’t good enough, I deserved to be alone and that I was unworthy. These thoughts were killing me. How was I going to survive this?

Then I heard it. My elder one is getting trained to take care of my younger one. I strongly desired to act get my body back on track. I needed to stand back up again, if not for me, at least for my boys. There was a massive storm inside me urging me to make this change, to do it for the sake of my future. And I realized what I needed to do.

I got engaged with a coach. She challenged me; she challenged my beliefs and my ideas. I soon realized that I was the only one who could choose how I responded to the events in my life. I realized I was the only one in charge of my physical, mental and emotional well-being. Sometimes we need to dig deep inside our core to unlock the door and shine a light on our self-belief.

I changed my language and instead of asking, “Why me?” I asked, “What learning am I getting from this episode?” Slowly and steadily my life became more manageable and better in all aspects. I realized that the power of the human mind lies in acknowledgement and growth. It felt like the train was coming back on track. I learnt in a complicated way that the pain in your body is a signal telling you something is not right with your emotions, and that you need to act. The fact is the more you resist the pain, the more trouble you’ll have.

Looking back now, the change in my life would have been impossible without my acknowledgement. So now here I am, knowing and listening to all signals of my body and taking the required actions. I am working happily, knowing what’s more important for me, knowing and understanding why people do what they do, accepting and acknowledging the importance of me in me and letting go of all assumed constraints about life, family and friends.

Life today is beautiful, life is fun, and I have plenty of time to manage my household, play with my boys, manage my work plans, and help people get to a place where I am now. The two photos show the two different me – the saree is the same, but the attitude of the person in the second photo is different from that in the first one. The photos were taken ten years apart.

STOP BLAMING THE OUTSIDE & LOOKING FOR REASONS START EXPLORING CHOICES & FOCUSING ON RESULTS.