A POEM BY MAKAFUI BEDZRA & A FRIEND
ILLUSTRATIONS BY ESTHER DELAQUIS-BAIDOO
C
2014 Design233
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A POEM BY MAKAFUI BEDZRA & A FRIEND ILLUSTRATIONS BY ESTHER DELAQUIS-BAIDOO LAYOUT DESIGN BY KORANTEMAA LARBI Published By
Tradition has a weird sense of humour Everything around me is supposed to be black. Or red? Can I feel worse? "You have to be in mourning cloth always", they say "He died too young" "What a tragedy" "What did she do to him", some whisper. Really? I want to be far away. To think Chew on the cad Relive our moments Drown in sullen solitude To be with you alone. Moi seul. They are violating our privacy with their insolent presence Disrespecting our peace with the cacophony of their sobs Sheer noise How can anyone understand? How can anyone feel what I feel?
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Dawn broke a long time ago. Today they say I will have closure Another farce I am numb in a strange kind of way. I look in the mirror A hollow face stares back at me.. My eyes are vacant and blank Lips parched and cracked. A figure appears behind me She helps me up She must sense what I am thinking She picks the wrap from my hands and ties my hair with it ''Mi dzo si " I can not move I stare at my fingers His ring Our bond I see his face still His wide boyish smile I can feel his skin Hear the sound of his laughter
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It was only weeks ago We stumbled into our suite laughing And then he'd pulled me into his arms. We had stood for ages then Nipped at each others' lips lazily We had all the time in the world We had been sat with friends and family And every time he got close he would do something; Whisper in my ear Or tell me by one of our codes what he planned to do to me tonight I would suppress a giggle, sometimes unable to By the time we were alone together I was quivering He always knew what to do, what to say
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I blink. A baritone voice is reading something Or has he finished? Then it is my turn Tribute from wife. Tribute Widow? Suddenly I am cold Very cold
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I will do you proud, I think I will face this I lift my head and focus St Augustine is echoing in my ears Of course, I had chosen it.
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"Love is a temporary madness", she reads.....I close my eyes And let my lips move to it. "It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together That it is inconceivable that you should ever part" "Because this is what love is", I hear myself say... " Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, And this is both an art and a fortunate accident... Having roots that grow towards each other underground, And when all the pretty blossom has fallen from our branches, We found that we are one tree and not two."
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One tree not two My companion My lover My partner in deed, in thought My best friend The moments pass I'm flitting between the now and the once was The sun scalds my skin as the procession moves Providence will not even allow some recompense.? I am parched. I hear a hymn of sorts I drift off again into my thoughts My eyes focus and I see it. A box The box.
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Finally My eyes focus and I see it. A box The box. They are keeping me from him, aren't they? That cannot be We are one tree and not two Growing old together Living life together Always He had promised No I can not understand I am choking "Earth to earth"? Blood rushes to my ears The bile is thick in my throat My stomach is giving way I feel sick
My head is spinning. I am sinking. Fast Into a cyclone A swift spiral to nothingness And when it happens I do not recognise the wail that tears itself from my gut Arms restrain me. I'm screaming his name now Over and over Soaked in sweat and tears Why won't they listen? Why are they taking him lower still?
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The moments flash before me Quicker now , snaps, shots of lightening Lying sideways, arm under head, smile on face, coffee untouched, news channel on, me out of shower, water on skin, Hun wake up, hey babe, come have a shower, I shake him, shake again, Coffee spills , plates crashing, He is limp, I scream for help again, again, again and again The echoes mount Like a frenzied chant The scream in my head seems to have joined the scream in my ears Finally I succumb into the abyss that awaits me. It wraps its dark arms around me Comfortable Silence. And even then The words jump in the miserable blackness of my mind
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I loved him, Without knowing how Without knowing why
I love him Simply so.
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Makafui Bedzra Makafui is the Business Development & IT Manager at Allied Oil Ltd (GH). He is passionate about the arts and is currently working on his first movie as the executive producer.
Esther Delaquis-Baidoo Esther studied Painting at KNUST College of Art and Painting & Printmaking at Texas Tech University. The primary media for her paintings are acrylic and mix media, while her printmaking consists mainly of aquatint etchings and monotype. She is currently an Assistant Professor of Art at Houston Baptist University.
A 2014 Design233 Publication