Purity
BOOKS
BY
K R I S VA L L O T T O N
Basic Training for the Prophetic Ministry Basic Training for the Supernatural Ways of Royalty Developing a Supernatural Lifestyle Purity—The New Moral Revolution The Supernatural Ways of Royalty
A VA I L A B L E
FROM
DESTINY IMAGE PUBLISHERS
Purity THE NEW MORAL REVOLUTION
K r i s Va l l o t t o n
© Copyright 2008 — Kris Vallotton All rights reserved. This book is protected by the copyright laws of the United States of America. This book may not be copied or reprinted for commercial gain or profit. The use of short quotations or occasional page copying for personal or group study is permitted and encouraged. Permission will be granted upon request. Unless otherwise identified, Scripture quotations are from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. Scriptures marked KJV are taken from the King James Version. All emphasis within Scripture is the author’s own. Please note that Destiny Image’s publishing style capitalizes certain pronouns in Scripture that refer to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and may differ from some publishers’ styles. Take note that the name satan and related names are not capitalized. We choose not to acknowledge him, even to the point of violating grammatical rules. DESTINY IMAGE® PUBLISHERS, INC. P.O. Box 310, Shippensburg, PA 17257-0310 “Speaking to the Purposes of God for this Generation and for the Generations to Come.” This book and all other Destiny Image, Revival Press, Mercy Place, Fresh Bread, Destiny Image Fiction, and Treasure House books are available at Christian bookstores and distributors worldwide. For a U.S. bookstore nearest you, call 1-800-722-6774. For more information on foreign distributors, call 717-532-3040. Or reach us on the Internet: www.destinyimage.com. ISBN 10: 0-7684-2711-8 ISBN 13: 978-0-7684-2711-0 For Worldwide Distribution, Printed in the U.S.A. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 / 12 11 10 09 08
DEDICATION I dedicate this book to all those people who have fallen in the battle for their own purity and are now fighting to be restored.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Kathy—You are the woman of my dreams! Grandpa Bernal—You taught me that I was worth loving in the dark days of my childhood. I will never forget you for that. Mom—Thanks for loving me and always believing in me. Bill Derryberry—Your life is an inspiration to me. Your love has brought me wholeness. Danny, Dann, Charlie, Steve, Banning, and Paul—You have helped to shape my life, my ideas, and my destiny. Thanks. Allison and Carol—Thank you for all the hours that you poured into this work. Bethel team—Wow! You are amazing! It is a privilege to serve with you all. Bill and Beni—It has been a pleasure to serve you and to serve with you all these years. I love you both deeply. Earl—Although you have gone home, your life lives on through me. Thank you for adopting me. I am forever grateful for the inheritance.
ENDORSEMENTS So many times Christians present sex and sexuality as something that is bad and suggest that somehow God is against it. They often use fear tactics and a “hide it until marriage” mentality. The church at one time actually called sex a necessary evil for procreation. This couldn’t be farther from the truth or God’s heart. In his book, Purity—The New Moral Revolution, Kris Vallotton talks about passion and how sex is a gift worth giving. He reminds us what it means to give true love, and about looking forward to sexual intimacy. In a frank style, Kris takes on the subject of sex. He stresses that the dilemma of having a sex drive before we should have sex offers people the opportunity to later give something they had to fight for. Something of value. Something of worth. He writes in a way that pulls out the romance in all of us, while at the same time calling us to harness this powerful passion in a way that can actually start a new revolution. It’s a revolution that can set people free from exploitation and the myth of “anything goes,” while freeing us from the path of hurt and pain. Kris offers perspective on how to be set free from a legalistic view that portrays our loving God as an oppressive
killjoy, and from the mentality of the uptight religious Pharisee. He offers hope for those who want to save a gift for their lifetime lover on their wedding night. This book also brings hope to the broken who are suffering from guilt and shame. We’re talking real freedom! When Christ sets you free you are free indeed. As a father of five, and from a heart that wants the best for them in every area of their lives, including sexuality, I not only highly recommend this book, but will give a copy to all of my kids. Bob Lenz International Speaker Author, Grace—For Those Who Think They Don’t Measure Up
As a senior pastor of a church in Hollywood, California this book couldn’t have come at a better time! I want to champion Kris Vallton’s new book to you on purity as the best book on the subject I have read. It is so real and organic, shedding the old wineskin of legalism that so many of these efforts get caught up into. Instead it gives you straight talk and understanding. It’s not just a book of insightful teaching but imparts faith from beginning to end (especially the last chapter) which is so rare for a book on this subject. Shawn Bolz Senior Pastor, Expression58 Author, Keys to Heaven’s Economy & The ThroneRoom Company
Purity is an important book for youth, parents, and spiritual leaders, and could well become a standard-setter for generations to come. It brings you real answers to the sexual revolution of the past two generations. Kris Vallotton, an accomplished author and a great storyteller, keeps your interest while he satisfies your mind and soul with scriptural truths illustrated by heart-touching, reallife examples. I encourage you to read it and become a part of God’s counter-revolution. Loren Cunningham Founder, Youth With A Mission (YWAM)
I love Kris Vallotton. He has ministered to my family in the most remarkable ways. He is a prophet who is happy. This is a hard-hitting and amazingly honest treatment of the most explosive issues of our time. Purity has already moved me to get deeper into my kids’ lives to father them through the land mines of our sexually charged culture. May God raise up many fathers like Kris who will call forth a generation that loves God, loves purity, and waits to rejoice in the glory of sex in the context of marriage. Lou Engle President, The Call
CONTENTS Foreword. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Chapter 1 The Parable of the Ring . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 Chapter 2 From the Battlefield to the Bedroom . . . . 51 Chapter 3 The Great Escape . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65 Chapter 4 Rules of War . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85 Chapter 5 Inciting a Sexual Revolution . . . . . . . . . . 105 Chapter 6 Divine Romance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119 Chapter 7 Holy Affection or Fatal Attraction . . . . . 131 Chapter 8 On the Eve of Destruction. . . . . . . . . . . . 145 Chapter 9 Grace. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 171
FOREWORD
A
K R I S V A L L O T T O N ’ S B O O K S are important and profound. But Purity is the one I’ve been waiting for him to write. I watched as these concepts and testimonies were being forged in the furnace of ministry where broken people became whole, and the young took on divine purpose with joy. Embracing the standard of biblical purity was never meant to be a punishment for those who serve God. Instead it is another key to total freedom, as truth makes free. While many have believed that is true, few have been able to articulate it well. But Kris does. In doing so, he has helped a generation of young people discover the beauty of their sexuality, without compromising its purpose. He also equipped them to make decisions that had the big picture in mind. This is quite an accomplishment when you consider that the young are not known for living for tomorrow. LL OF
Books that deal with holiness issues are often harsh and demanding. This one is not. It is compassionate and compelling. In these pages purity takes on purpose and appeal, giving every reader a chance to see the goodness of God in creating us male and female. God called it good. If you’re looking for a book on dating, or simply advice on finding a mate, look elsewhere. It’s not that ——
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Purity wouldn’t help. I’m sure it would. It’s just that this book is much bigger in its focus. Purity is a call to war: not a war of words, protest banners, and petitions, but a war over thoughts that shape culture and values. It is a clarion call to all who have a heart for truth to step to the forefront in this purity revolution. It is time to move out of ignorance into insight, and from embarrassment over the call to purity to the boldness and courage it takes to stand in the face of cultural opposition. That’s how we can reclaim the territory that was taken while the Church slept. There is enough of the fire of God on the pages of this book to ignite the heart of an entire generation and get them healed from the abuses of a failed sexual revolution. The pure are taught how and why to remain that way, while the broken are brought into healing and restoration. God is the God of the second chance. In his classic style Kris doesn’t mince words. His honesty is brutal. His stories are true. And the fruit is timeless. Purity has the ingredients needed to fuel a nationwide change in our perspective on sexuality and real freedom. Bill Johnson Senior Pastor, Bethel Church, Redding, California Author, When Heaven Invades Earth & Face to Face with God
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INTRODUCTION
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N 1987 , T H E
T R I N I T Y C O U N T Y P R O B AT I O N D E PA RT M E N T asked me to lead a youth group with the kids on probation in our county. I was scheduled to be with them twice a week for three months while Probation worked with their parents. I found myself completely unprepared for these kids. That first night, I had all 37 high school kids playing volleyball or basketball together for more than two hours while I supervised them. I broke up five different fights that evening. I also discovered that these kids had no morals whatsoever. Nobody had ever laid any foundation in their lives for how to behave with the opposite sex. It was a grueling and scary beginning. Finally, half-time came. I had all the kids sit on park benches in that old, rickety, metal gym. As they sat there, impatient and anxious, waiting for the games to start again, I shared the Parable of the Ring, which the Lord had given me on the way to the gym that night (and which is included in Chapters 1 and 2 in this book). I was so nervous I could hardly speak; but as I told the story, their impatience slowly evaporated, exposing hurting and hungry hearts. ——
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Nobody would have ever guessed that these young people were starving for the truth about their sexuality. On the outside, they were hard and crude. They grabbed each other’s crotches as they played basketball and called one another the filthiest trash you can imagine. But as I shared the story, they all started to weep. At first they were embarrassed and tried to hide their tears, but as my message continued, many of them wailed openly. I was very moved by their response. When I finished sharing, they all just sat there in complete silence. All of us could sense a sort of supernatural awe. A holy hush rested on us like an invisible blanket. I didn’t know what to do. After all, this was not a Christian event. I was partnering with our community to see the broken in our county restored. Several minutes passed. The kids hung their heads in conviction, their tears puddling on the concrete floor beneath them. I knew after that night that none of us would ever be the same. I ended up ministering to those kids twice a week for five years. The group grew to more than a hundred, and that scene on the park benches repeated itself over and over again. As the years have rolled on, what I have discovered is that it is not just broken kids on probation who need to understand their sexuality. The entire planet is crying out for a sexual revolution! Fathers, mothers, kids, and grandparents are all hungering to shake off the slime of perversion and the bondage of religion and to enter into the joy of passionate purity. While the world seems to live in a perpetual orgy and religion relegates the masses to sexual prison, the earth hungers for the truth about sex. ——
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I NTR ODUCTION
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This book was not written to be just another manuscript about dating. I wrote this book to be a catalyst for a sexual reformation. I wanted to confront the world’s sexual root system as well as expose the religious Pharisees who have stolen the passion of true sexual purity. My prayer is that Purity would rock the planet and rewrite the sexual paradigms of our time!
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CHAPTER 1
THE PARABLE
OF THE
RING
early on his first day of high Jschool.’He stared, bleary-eyed, at the time on the clock OHNNY S ALARM RANG
and sighed. The summer of ’67 was officially over. As he made the two-mile walk to the new high school, his mind was flooded with questions, and insecurity filled his heart. He wondered how he would be received as a freshman after being part of the eldest class in junior high. Would he be liked? Would the older kids tease and make fun of him? As he passed the jewelry store at the corner of Destiny Lane and Second Street, Johnny suddenly found his thoughts interrupted and his eyes almost blinded by a flash of sunlight glistening on something in the window. He stopped to take a closer look. The flash had come from a ring in the display case. It was nothing he was interested in; after all, he was just 14 years old. But the ring’s brilliance burned an image into his eyes and actually made him forget his fears for a few seconds. Then he continued on his way and arrived at school just as the morning bell rang. Anxiously Johnny entered the class, hanging his head and looking for a seat at the back. As the day wore on, he was gratified to see all of his ——
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old friends from junior high and to discover that they were all just as nervous as he was. When he finally made it home that afternoon, his mother was waiting for him on the porch to hear how his first day had gone. “I survived,” Johnny said. “I just hope it gets better tomorrow.” “It will,” she said with a smile. But the next morning Johnny was horrified and even more stressed when he awoke to discover that he had overslept! He jumped out of bed in a panic, scrambling to get ready. The day before, he had barely made it to school before the bell, even though he had left early. Walking into class late on the second day of school is not an option, he thought. Everyone would be staring at him, and he would want to die. He rushed out the front door, yelling “Bye!” as the door slammed behind him, ran for the first several blocks, and then slowed to a brisk walk. As Johnny rounded Destiny Lane, the glare of the ring in the jewelry store window momentarily blinded him again, but he was late and had no time to stop and investigate. Yet, strangely enough, although the silhouette of the ring faded from his eyes, its image lingered in his imagination. How weird, he thought. It’s like a song that you can’t get out of your brain. The bell rang just as the school came into sight. Johnny ran the last few blocks and entered the room completely out of breath. Thankfully, several other students came in right after him, covering his late entry. Once ——
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again, Johnny saw that he was not the only one who was still getting used to high school. As he seated himself, he observed one of his friends grinning at him, and he immediately felt better. Day two was going to be OK after all. A couple of months passed, and the leaves began to fall from the trees as summer gave way to autumn. The mornings were cooler now as Johnny made his way to school each day. His fears had calmed as he settled into a routine. In their place grew an intense curiosity about the ring in the window of the jewelry store that he passed each day. One afternoon, on his way home, Johnny couldn’t take it any longer. He mustered his courage and went into the store. As he surveyed the showroom, he sensed instinctively that he didn’t belong and felt almost guilty for intruding—a sense that was instantly heightened by the sight of an old gentleman in a suit behind the counter staring disdainfully at him. “Can I help you, boy?” Johnny approached him nervously. “I would like to see that…that…that thing…I mean, that ring in the window.” “Which ring are you talking about, sonny?” the old salesman asked condescendingly. Johnny could feel sweat beading on his forehead, but bravely pointed to the ring. “That one right there.” “That’s a woman’s wedding ring,” the man said incredulously. “What are you going to do with that, boy?” “I just need to look at it,” Johnny squeaked. ——
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“Well…all right,” he said as he unlocked the security glass, mumbling something about “kids” under his breath. There it was, finally, glistening under the showcase lights like a star shining against the black of night. It seemed to glow with a crystal brilliance, beckoning its admirers to look deeper and come closer. Johnny stared deeply into the diamond, and suddenly an image appeared…there she was…the woman of his dreams! She seemed to emerge from the ring like a genie from a bottle. Johnny blinked in disbelief. He suddenly felt intensely alive; every cell in his body vibrated with expectation. He was mesmerized. She was more beautiful than he had ever imagined, or was he imagining her now? It was all so confusing because she seemed so real. He felt like he could reach out and touch her, and unconsciously he did so, reaching in fact for the ring in the salesman’s hand. “What do you think you are doing?” the salesman shouted, jerking his hand away. “I…I was…I was trying…I didn’t mean to…I was just hoping to see…” Johnny stammered, feeling as if he’d awoken abruptly from a dream. Still overwhelmed by emotion, he suddenly felt so embarrassed in front of the salesman that he turned and ran out of the store and all the way home to his bedroom. As he ran, he punished himself with every thought, angry that he’d been made so vulnerable by something so unlikely. What a nerd I am! What was I doing with a woman’s wedding ring? What was I thinking? What if one of ——
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my friends saw me run out of the store? Johnny, you are so dumb! But in spite of everything he thought, the vision of the woman of his dreams persisted in his thoughts. Something inside of him was telling him that somehow he had to have that ring. For several months after that experience, Johnny walked on the other side of the street when he passed the jewelry store so that the salesman wouldn’t see him. But even from there, the ring seemed to beckon him, and he started to plan another entrance into the store. He noticed that on Friday afternoons there was a middleaged woman behind the counter instead of the old salesman, and she looked friendly. So, one freezing Friday afternoon in January, with the wind howling through the empty streets and icy rain soaking him to his underwear, Johnny wrestled the door open against the wind and took refuge in the warmth of the jewelry store. He stood there just inside the door, shivering, not knowing if he was freezing or just nervous. He felt better when the woman greeted him with a warm smile. “Hello,” she said. “Can I help you find something, sir?” She seemed sincere, and she called him “sir”…like he was a real customer. Johnny stepped forward. “Well, yes…yes, you can,” he said, in the deepest voice he could muster. “I would like to see that ring in the window—the gold wedding ring with the big diamond in it. It’s right there,” he pointed. She raised her eyebrows. “You have good taste. She must be some girl.” “Girl? What girl?” ——
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“Well, I assume that you’re interested in giving this ring to a special someone.” “Yes! Of course I am!” He paused. “I just haven’t met her yet,” Johnny confessed. “Do you mean that you intend to give a $10,000 wedding ring to a blind date?” Johnny was stunned. $10,000! Unbelievable, he thought, trying hard to look unmoved by the price. “No! No, ma’am. She’s not blind. No! What I mean is that I…just haven’t talked to her yet,” he blurted out. By now the saleslady was holding the ring under the showroom lights. It was even more awesome than he remembered. His embarrassment faded in the glory of the diamond. “May I hold it, ma’am?” he asked. She hesitated. “I’m afraid my boss would probably fire me if I let you hold this ring, young man.” “I am a buyer, not just a looker, ma’am. If I like it, I plan to purchase it,” Johnny said, trying to sound professional. The lady paused for what seemed like an eternity as she surveyed the store. Johnny assumed that she was making sure the old man wasn’t around. Finally, nervously she said, “Well, OK. I’ll let you hold it for a moment.” Johnny carefully picked up the ring and gazed into the diamond. Once again, the image he had seen before ——
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appeared. The woman of his dreams! She seemed to be dancing in the fog. He could see her vividly: Her skin was dark and beautiful, and an invisible breeze gently moved her long black hair and flowing light blue dress. She was looking directly at him with the deepest green eyes he had ever seen. She was stunning. The strangest thing was that Johnny had the distinct sense that he had seen her before. Her gaze seemed to penetrate his very soul. It was as if she knew him, trusted him, and admired him. He wondered how this could be before they had actually met. His thoughts were interrupted by a noise. The saleslady was asking him for the ring. He turned to her and said, “I’ll take it. I must have it!” “Shall I wrap it up for you?” she said, obviously challenging him. “Well, no…I will have to put it on layaway for a little while,” he admitted sheepishly. “OK. We require 20 percent down to hold it for you,” she said, playing along with him. “That comes to $2,022.80.” Acting confidently, Johnny reached for his wallet. He opened it, exposing the empty contents to himself but not revealing them to her and said, “It will take me a little while to have the complete down payment, ma’am.” “Maybe I could get the first payment reduced a little for you,” she said. “Exactly how much money do you have to put down on this ring?” ——
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“Uh…I am not sure. I would have to go home and figure it out,” he said. “OK, you let me know what you can do, and I will see if I can work it out for you.” “Thank you. I’ll be back.” From that time on, the most pressing item on Johnny’s mind was finding a job. His parents were stunned when he announced his intention to work after all the years that they had wrestled with him just to get him to cut the lawn. In the past, he had purposely broken the pull rope on the lawn mower three times so he wouldn’t have to mow. They had even offered to pay him to do the job, but nothing seemed to motivate him. But this was different. This wasn’t about money. He had seen the woman of his dreams. Johnny discovered that it was tough for a 15-year-old with no experience to get a job. After days of beating the streets, he finally got hired at the Clean and Shine car wash down the road from his house. He was beside himself with excitement. Johnny began a new routine of going to school every day, rushing home, changing clothes, and running off to work. When he got home from work, he would do his homework and go to bed late. The next day, he would wake up and do it all over again, and he worked every weekend. It was a grueling schedule that left him no time for school activities, sports, dances, or dating. But he reassured himself that sacrificing for the woman of his dreams would be worth it. He often lay awake at night, ——
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imagining what it was going to be like to give her the ring on their honeymoon. He would sit on the bed with her, tell her to close her eyes, hold the ring out before her face, and then tell her to look. He imagined the look on his bride’s face, and just the thought of it filled him with excitement. He could hardly wait. His folks kept probing him to find the source of this change, but Johnny knew that telling his parents, or anyone else for that matter, was not an option. How could he explain to them that he was working his butt off so he could buy a wedding ring for a girl he didn’t even know? He knew the truth would land him in the counselor’s office. After all, it seemed crazy to him too. But he was compelled to pull it off. A month passed before Johnny returned to the jewelry store, this time with $250 in his pocket. He entered the store with his heart pounding and his mouth dry, struggling to remember the lines he had rehearsed for weeks. The saleslady was helping someone else, but she looked up and acknowledged him with a smile. The seconds felt like hours as he waited for her to finish. He was worried that the old man might come out of the office and see him. Finally, she turned to Johnny, and he launched into his speech. “Remember I talked to you last month? Well, I started a new job, and I have $250 to put down on the ring.” He pulled out a wad of cash from his front pocket. “I do recall your visit,” she responded. “We require 20 percent down on all layaways, but I have another idea I would like you to consider. How about if you open a ——
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charge account with us and make weekly payments until the ring is paid for? We will keep the ring as collateral until you pay it off.” “Wow! Do you think…I mean, could that really work?” “I am pretty sure I can get it approved by the manager,” she said. “The manager…great.” This didn’t encourage him. He figured the manager was the man he had met before. “I’ll go ask him about it.” Johnny was tense with fear when the salesman appeared in the doorway, looking grim. “Hmm. I remember you. I don’t know how you managed to convince Kathy here that you could buy that ring, but I highly doubt that you can—or should, for that matter. It’s absurd for a kid to buy something like that.” He turned to walk away. Anger rose up in Johnny. “You haven’t even given me a chance, sir. I will prove to you that I am responsible, and I will pay the ring off before I graduate from high school. You have my word, sir…. Sir, you have my word!” The man stopped, turned to the saleslady, and glared at her. “I think you should give him a chance,” she said. He sighed in exasperation. “Fine! But you will pay weekly, and if you miss even one payment, the deal is off. ——
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You got that? Not only that, but we will keep 30 percent of the cost of the ring as a restocking fee.” “I got it. I won’t miss a payment,” Johnny promised. The old man went to his office, shaking his head and mumbling. The saleslady turned to Johnny. “I am so sorry he treated you like that. I have worked for him for years and have known him to be tough, but I have never seen him behave that way toward anyone.” She actually had tears in her eyes. “You should go somewhere else and buy a ring. This is a bad finance deal. You could lose all the hardearned money you put down on this ring. It is not worth it!” “Ma’am, I want this ring. I don’t want any other ring. I won’t miss a payment. I promise I can do this. I will show him that he is wrong about me.” “Well…all right, Johnny—can I call you ‘Johnny’?” “Yes, ma’am. That’s my name.” She reached out and shook his hand, smiling. “You can call me ‘Kathy.’ Congratulations on the ring.” Kathy drew up the contract, and Johnny signed it. The deal was done, and he left the store with a sense of victory in his heart. Now all he had to do was earn $50 every week. From that point on, it seemed like all Johnny did was work. And as the weeks became months and the months became years, it became clear that nothing could deter ——
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him. He was a man possessed. He had to get that ring for the woman of his dreams! Every Saturday on his way to work, he would go to the jewelry store and make his payment. The old, crotchety salesman would meet him at the counter, and Johnny actually looked forward to giving the man his money. Every payment felt like an act of war. The man rarely made eye contact or said a word as he scribbled out the cash receipt. When Johnny asked to see the ring, which he always did, the man would sigh as if he was being terribly inconvenienced. He would never let Johnny hold the ring. But as the months went by, the old man began to crack, and one Saturday, after two years of Johnny’s faithful payments, he couldn’t hide his change of heart any longer. When Johnny entered the store, he was surprised to see that the salesman was waiting with the ring already out on the counter for him. “Good morning, Johnny,” the salesman said with a smile. “On your way to work I assume.” He handed Johnny the ring. “I polished the ring up a little this morning in the cleaning solution. It was getting a little dusty.” Stunned that the man had both called him by name and so readily given him the ring, Johnny stared at him for a few seconds before exclaiming, “Thank you, sir!” He marveled at the sparkling diamond. “I appreciate it. It looks great!” Johnny left the store with a sense of satisfaction. He wasn’t too surprised by the salesman’s attitude; he had noticed that the man had been softening for months. But ——
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that day proved that Johnny had won. I’ve beaten him, and he knows it, Johnny thought. That wasn’t just a change of heart. No, that was an acknowledgment of victory…the white flag of surrender…a sign of a truce. The years rolled on, and graduation was just two weeks away. It was Friday night, but not just any Friday night; no, this was the night before Johnny made the final payment on the ring! He could hardly wait. He tossed and turned all night long, finally falling asleep sometime in the wee hours of the morning. As slumber overtook him, he began to dream. There she was, the woman of his dreams! She was stunning, pure, and innocent as a young child, almost naïve. She danced around him, laughing and teasing him as she moved. Her presence intoxicated him. But suddenly he knew that she was also taken by him…her first love…the man of her dreams. He could feel her heart beating with passion, her mind flooded with intrigue. This was the first time he realized that she had been searching her whole life for him, longing for his embrace, hungering for his kiss. He didn’t want the dream to end, but it began to fade. He couldn’t see her face anymore. Then she appeared once again, but her blue dress had been replaced by a nurse’s uniform. As he awoke, he wondered about this. She was still incredibly graceful in her white uniform, he thought, but what did it mean? He got out of bed and saw that it was already 9:00 which meant he would have to hurry if he was going to pick up the ring before he went to work. He threw his clothes on and rushed out the door, his mind still captivated A.M.,
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by the mystery of the dream. He drove straight to the jewelry store, ran to the door, then stopped and gathered himself before he went in. What he saw next took him completely by surprise. The salesman and Kathy were standing under balloons and a banner that read, “You did it! Congratulations!” There was even a cake on the counter with “Congratulations, Johnny” written on top of it. As he moved toward the counter, they both shouted, “Congratulations, Johnny!” The salesman extended his hand to Johnny and looked him in the eyes. “You are a fine young man. I was wrong about you. Please forgive me!” “I forgive you, sir,” Johnny replied. All of them had tears in their eyes. It was the best day of his life. “Keep in touch with us, Johnny,” the salesman said as he exited the store. “We are going to miss you.” “I’ll miss you too. Thanks for everything!” Johnny left, his cake in hand and the ring in his pocket at last. He could hardly believe it. But only a few days later, Johnny’s triumph turned to turmoil. Two days before graduation, he pulled into the driveway of his house and found his mother and father waiting for him on the front porch. The look on their faces told him that something was seriously wrong. He hastily parked the car and rushed to the front porch. As he neared the first step, he could see that his mother was crying. “What is it?” he shouted. “What’s wrong?” ——
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His father, hanging his head, pulled an envelope from his front pocket and handed it to Johnny. It was addressed to him, but it had already been opened. The envelope told the whole story: United States Army. Johnny was trembling as he opened the letter and read it aloud. “Draft notice for Johnny H. Johnson. Report for duty at Fort Ord, California, on July 19, 1972, at 9:00 A.M.” Johnny hung his head and began to weep. His folks wrapped their arms around him, and they cried together. “They can’t do this,” his mother protested. “They can’t take my only son!” Her weeping became wailing. “It will be OK, Mama,” Johnny said. “I’ll be fine, Ma,” he said, stroking her hair. His father said nothing, but his eyes were filled with grief. “It’ll be all right, Dad,” Johnny said. “I’ll come back safely…I will. I promise.” A few weeks later, his folks dropped him off at the recruiter’s office. There were more tears as they said good-bye. His folks stood watching as the young men boarded the boot camp bus and pulled out of the parking lot. Johnny waved at them until they faded into the background. Sitting in the bus, he felt like it was his first day of high school all over again, only worse. He looked around at the rest of the guys on the bus and realized that they all seemed to be in the same state. It was a little comforting to know he wasn’t the only one who was scared. ——
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They finally arrived at the base and were herded into lines—first for roll call and then for the barber’s chair— by a shouting drill sergeant. This guy makes the jewelry store manager look like an angel, Johnny thought to himself as the barber shaved his head. From there, he and the other recruits were rushed to the barracks by the sergeant, who ran alongside them screaming orders and insults. As they unpacked their belongings into their assigned lockers and readied themselves for the afternoon workout, Johnny was faced with the problem of what to do with the ring. He hadn’t been able to fathom leaving it at home, but now he had to find a place to hide it. He carefully wrapped it inside a sock and stuffed it in the back of his locker. A short time later, he and the other recruits were in fatigues running for miles with packs on their backs. The entire day was a grueling, relentless barrage of exercise and trash talk designed to push them to the breaking point. Some men stumbled and fell, completely exhausted, and others stopped to heave their guts out on the side of the trail. Johnny fared a little better than some of the men, but by the time they finally returned to the barracks, his body felt like a rag doll. He crawled into the top bunk, barely able to get his legs up onto the mattress. He had never been so tired in all of his life. Four hours later, the lights came on, and the drill sergeant ordered everyone to stand at attention beside their bunks. Johnny slowly lowered his tired body to the floor. His heart was racing, and his head was spinning. His watch said it was three o’clock in the morning. What could this idiot possibly want with us at this ungodly hour? he thought. ——
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“Locker inspection!” the sergeant shouted. “Men, open your lockers right now!” Panic struck Johnny as he suddenly remembered the ring. The sergeant was going down the line of lockers and dumping them out on the floor, and he saw that his was next. He jerked forward to try to get to it, but he was too late. “Stand away from the locker, Johnson!” the sergeant barked. Before Johnny could move, the drill sergeant threw his locker to the floor, scattering its contents everywhere. The sock with the ring flew out and landed at the sergeant’s feet. The sergeant looked down. “You have a mess here, boy! Get this picked up now!” Johnny was frozen with horror. “Did you hear me, Johnson? I said now!” “Yes, sir,” Johnny said, choking back tears. Rustling his clothes into a pile, he tried not to draw attention to the sock. “Hurry up! Let me see those socks, boy,” he ordered, grabbing them from his hands. Johnny’s heart was pounding out of his chest as the drill sergeant put the socks up to his nose. “These socks smell awful. You got that, Johnson?” He threw them across the room. “Yes, sir, I got it!” “We’re going to teach you how to do laundry the right way, Johnson. Get this cleaned up and then report for laundry duty,” the sergeant ordered. “Sir, yes, sir!” Johnny shouted, saluting. As soon as the sergeant exited the barracks, slamming the door behind him, Johnny rushed to the other ——
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side of the room to retrieve his ring. Its dark blue velvet case had come out of the sock and was lying on the floor in two pieces. Thankfully the ring was still wedged in it. After checking to make sure no one was watching him, he carefully picked up the ring and slipped it into his pocket. It felt fine, but he would have to look at it later to make sure. And he had to come up with a better way to keep it hidden. Johnny set his locker upright and put all his stuff away. You could cut the tension in the barracks with a knife. Everyone was uptight, wondering what was going to happen next. This certainly wasn’t high school. The Army was brutal and cold as ice. Johnny reported for laundry duty at 4:00 A.M. Exhausted and stressed, he struggled to listen as the private showed him how to use the machines. He was shown a mountain of towels and sheets and ordered to report for breakfast when he had finished washing and drying them all. After he loaded all the machines, he took a moment to inspect the ring and make sure it had really survived its flight across the barracks. He held it up to the light and looked closely. Thankfully it appeared to be unharmed. Then, catching sight of a roll of duct tape on a shelf in the laundry room, an idea came to him. He pulled the liner out of his helmet, took his knife and carved a crevice just large enough for the ring to fit inside it. Then he put duct tape over the crevice and replaced the liner. Surveying his handiwork, Johnny sighed with relief. The ring was completely hidden, and now it would always be with him. Something finally went right, Johnny thought. ——
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The following weeks were full of more ordeals and abuse, but the men grew used to it and bonded to each other, gaining strength from the camaraderie as they anticipated their deployment. Nobody wanted to go to Vietnam, of course. But the day finally came for the men to receive their orders. The room was thick with tension as the sergeant read off the different places of deployment and the men assigned there. The tension grew with every name, Vietnam still unmentioned. Then he paused, looked down at his clipboard and said, “The rest of you are shipping out to ’Nam next week. Good luck, men. Keep your heads down!” That night, several men could be heard crying in their bunks. Johnny was one of them. Nobody teased them, and hardly anyone slept much that night. Johnny called his folks in the morning…his voice cracking on the phone. His mother dropped to her knees and wept uncontrollably when she heard the news. His father tried to comfort them both. Johnny sobbed quietly as he hung onto the phone in silence for several minutes. Finally he couldn’t bear it any longer. He said in haste, “I’ve got to go. Always remember, I love you both very much. Tell Sis I love her too. ’Bye.” He hung up before he could hear their response. A week later, Johnny was in a plane bound for Vietnam. The men sat in silence, consumed with the realities of death and battle that they would soon face. Johnny was trying hard not to imagine the worst. He recalled the commitment he had made to God as a boy. It seemed to make a lot more sense now—living for eternity, serving Someone who could protect you. As he considered these ——
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things, Johnny started to notice that, in the midst of his fear, he could sense God’s presence near him for the first time in years. He asked the Lord to protect him and bring him back home alive. He promised to get serious about serving Him and thanked Him for His love. An overwhelming peace began to wash over his soul. He felt more relaxed than he had in months, and he actually fell asleep, sitting upright in the plane with his rifle in his hand. Then he started to dream. He was standing in a thick fog, and his heart skipped a beat when someone suddenly appeared very close to him. There she was, the woman of his dreams! She wore a nurse’s uniform again, and she seemed to be staring through him, as if she was looking for something inside of him. Somehow he knew she was searching for courage. Then she smiled, as if she had discovered it locked away in a secret chamber of his heart. Without warning, he felt boldness surge through him like a pulse of energy. She kissed him and then disappeared in the fog. He immediately woke up feeling like a different man. Boldness was still surging through him, and he was focused and confident. He knew that he would make it through whatever lay ahead. He had seen what he had to live for. The change in his attitude was so dramatic that he was convinced something supernatural had just happened to him. The long flight came to a bumpy end when the plane touched down on a rutted dirt runway in the middle of the jungle. Explosions and gunfire could be heard in the distance as the men deplaned. Within minutes, they began to sweat profusely in the 90 percent humidity. ——
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“Welcome to Vietnam, men,” the pilot shouted. The soldiers watched the plane start to taxi down the runway. Then, to their horror, they heard an explosion of machine-gun fire. The plane burst into flames and crashed at the end of the runway in a ball of fire. The men started to run after the plane but soon had to take cover as bullets began hitting all around them. “Welcome to Vietnam,” Johnny repeated to himself. It was impossible to describe the feeling of that first day in ’Nam. But this was war, a man-made hell. In the months that followed, this scene repeated itself over and over again. Men died every day in battle, and Johnny struggled to cope with it. It was especially hard when the buddies he had bunked with in boot camp fell in battle. Fear, despair, and hopelessness became a way of life for the men. But Johnny found that the peace and boldness that had come over him on the plane stayed with him, giving him strength and resolve that he otherwise couldn’t have had in the circumstances. Then the day came for Johnny that every soldier dreads. He and his troop found themselves pinned down in the middle of a field, surrounded on three sides by the enemy. They radioed for help but were informed it would be three hours before reinforcements would arrive. Their only hope for survival was to make it to a foxhole 300 yards north of them and wait for help. The men had to crawl on their bellies for a couple hundred yards, then jump to their feet and sprint to the foxhole amidst a hail of gunfire. When it was Johnny’s turn to go, he said a quick prayer, sprang to his feet, and took off running for his life. He had almost reached the foxhole ——
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when his helmet was struck by a piece of shrapnel and knocked from his head. He stooped down to grab it, but bullets were flying and grenades exploding all around him, and the men were shouting and waving for him to hurry. He ducked down, rushed forward, and made a final leap for the foxhole. The men helped to drag him to safety. Gasping for breath, he burst out, “My ring…my ring! I have to get my helmet!” He saw the sergeant. “Sir, I have to get my helmet!” “Take cover, Johnson!” the sergeant shouted back. “Sarge, you don’t understand. I have to get my helmet…I have to go, sir!” Johnny argued wildly. “Get down, Johnny! Do you hear me, son? Keep your head down!” the sergeant insisted. But Johnny doggedly shook his head. “Sorry, sir. I have to get my helmet.” He jumped from the foxhole and ran across the field with bullets whistling past his head. Seeing his helmet, he dove for it, strapped it to his head, jumped up, and rushed back. As he lunged for the foxhole, bullets pierced his right thigh and knee. He screamed in pain as he struggled to crawl the last few feet to the hole. Two soldiers crawled out and dragged him to safety. One of the bullets had hit an artery and he was quickly losing a lot of blood. The men ripped open his fatigues and made a tourniquet out of his belt to slow the bleeding. He heard them calling for a helicopter to take him to the MASH unit as he slipped into unconsciousness. ——
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The chopper finally arrived at dusk and was taking fire as it attempted to land in a nearby field. The men rushed Johnny to it and loaded him inside as the gunner laid cover with a 50mm machine gun. They flew Johnny to Saigon, where he immediately went into surgery to stop the bleeding and remove the bullets. After surgery, he lay unconscious for three days, hanging on to life by a thread. But on the third morning, he finally came to. He managed to open his eyes and force himself upright, groaning. “Where am I? What’s going on? What happened to me?” “You are in the hospital,” said a calm voice near his bed. “You were wounded in battle. You are going to be fine.” “My helmet…my helmet! Where’s my helmet? I want my helmet…please. Please find my helmet,” Johnny begged. “Your helmet is right here.” The nurse laid it on the bed next to him. Johnny reached out and grabbed it, feeling for the ring. He sighed with relief when he discovered it was still under the liner. “Your sergeant said you were shot while retrieving it from the battlefield,” the nurse said from behind him. “He wanted to make sure you had it when you woke up.” Johnny turned his head to find the source of her voice. “I am right here,” she said, grasping his head gently with both her hands and turning it until his eyes met hers. They were beautiful and green and looked into his ——
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with a steady gaze that was all too familiar. He struggled to clear his head from the fog. It was like déjà vu. He knew this woman. Somehow, somewhere, he had met her. He recognized her voice, her eyes, her smile—but how was it possible? Her black hair shimmered under the bright exam lights as she moved to his bedside to check his blood pressure. Her movements were elegant and graceful. Then he noticed her uniform, and the truth came over him. It was she, destiny’s child, the woman of his dreams! He could hardly take her in. The strain and trauma of the battlefield faded from his mind and body as he became entirely transfixed by her presence. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, and it was obvious. She giggled as she tried to concentrate on taking his vitals. “It’s rude to stare at people, you know,” she said. “I can’t help it.” “Hmm. I guess I shouldn’t expect much from someone who’s been wounded and delirious for three days.” “I may be wounded, but I am not dead,” he fired back. She smiled. “I can see that. Well, I am going to get the doctor and tell him you woke up.” She started to walk away. “Wait! Before you leave me, I have a question for you.” “What is it, Private Johnson first class?” ——
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Summoning his courage, he asked, “Will you marry me? I am serious. Will you be my wife?” She stared at him for a moment, which seemed to him an eternity, then shook her head, turned, and walked away, laughing. “I’m serious!” he shouted after her. He wanted to call her name, but realized he didn’t know it. Ten minutes later, the doctor walked into the room to examine him. “Good morning, Private Johnson. Maria has informed me that you are very much awake and already regaining your strength,” the doctor said with a smile. Johnny wanted to hug the doctor for saying her name. Maria. What a beautiful name. Johnny proceeded to think of nothing else all through his examination with the doctor. After the doctor left, however, the audacity of his impulsive proposal struck him, and he began to grow anxious, as the next hour passed and Maria failed to return, that he had scared her away. But finally she appeared. He was grateful beyond belief when she came in, smiling, to tend to him. He resolved to try to be more respectful and patient in wooing her. Thankfully, since she had been assigned as his nurse, he had plenty of opportunity to prove the sincerity of his intentions. Johnny’s recovery ended up lasting several weeks. Gradually he was able to walk, assisted by Maria, and by the time he didn’t need her help anymore, they had begun taking daily walks together when she got off work. It was on these walks that they had a chance to learn ——
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about each other. She told him that she was the youngest daughter of a wealthy Texas oilman and that she had decided to become a nurse against her father’s wishes because she wanted to help people. She was strong and compassionate, funny and frank, and the more Johnny came to know her, the more he realized that she was more amazing than he had ever dreamed. Thankfully, she seemed to feel the same way about him, and their love grew deeper each day. But in all their conversations, he never mentioned the ring. He still planned, as he had been planning since he was 15, to surprise her with it on their wedding night. Seven weeks after Johnny had arrived at the hospital in the medevac helicopter, the doctor told him that he was well enough to return to light duty and that he would finish his tour back in the States. The night before his departure, Maria came into his room and knelt beside him. With tears running down her cheeks, she took his hand and said, “I would love to be your wife, Johnny.” He took her in his arms and wept with her in joy and sadness. After a while, they walked out onto the back porch of the hospital and sat there in silent communion, watching the beautiful Vietnam sunrise together. A few hours later, Johnny was on his way home. The remaining months of Johnny’s tour of duty seemed painstakingly long. But in spite of the oceans and thousands of miles between them, Johnny and Maria’s love grew stronger. They wrote each other every day right up until the day of their wedding, which took place at Maria’s family home, a lavish mansion on the Gulf of ——
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Mexico, a few days after Johnny was released from duty. The wedding was awesome; Maria’s parents spent a small fortune on the celebration and invited hundreds of guests. Johnny gave Maria a simple wedding band during the ceremony, but as he did so, all he could think about was the moment when he would present her with the ring. It was all he could think about all day. It seemed like forever before they finally ran to the limo, showered in rice, and were swept away to their hotel on the beach. They savored their first moments of the day alone together, in the back of the limo, tenderly holding hands and beholding each other in wonder. He couldn’t wait to see her face when he opened the velvet box and gave her the ring—the ring for the woman of his dreams. It was going to be amazing. When they got to the hotel, he picked her up and carried her to the wedding suite. Playfully he tossed her on the king-sized bed and fell on top of her as they laughed. It was all new and so exciting. Johnny had to confess to her that he was a little nervous. Maria agreed. She convinced him to let her change and retreated to the dressing room. It was the perfect moment, so Johnny rushed to his suitcase and pulled out the ring. He hid it behind him and, grinning, shouted, “Hurry up! I can’t wait any longer!” “Good things are worth waiting for, Johnny Johnson,” she said. Finally she stood before him, framed by the dressing room door. He couldn’t have agreed with her more. ——
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As she walked up to him, he said, “I have a surprise for you. Sit on the bed and close your eyes.” She gave him a questioning look, but closed her eyes and sat down. “OK, open your eyes,” Johnny said, choking back tears. He was kneeling in front of her with the blue velvet box opened in his hand. Maria smiled, but she didn’t look as surprised as he had envisioned. “Oh Johnny, it is so nice. You didn’t have to do that.” “Do you like it?” “I do like it. It’s lovely. Thank you so much.” She put the ring on and held it up to show him. Then she knelt down beside him, put her arms around him and kissed him. “But I love you more.” As they embraced, Johnny tried to ignore the knot of disappointment in his stomach. He had hoped that the moment he’d been anticipating for five years would be a little more momentous. He looked at his beautiful bride and smiled. So what? he told himself. You didn’t get the moment, but you still have the woman of your dreams. Get over it. The next morning, they woke early and grinned at each other across the pillows. But a pang of heartache intruded into Johnny’s bliss when he remembered the ring. “Are you sure you like the ring?” he asked again. “Of course I like it, silly.” She kissed him. “And I bet I can beat you to the beach.” She jumped out of bed, threw on her bathing suit, and ran toward the water. ——
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Johnny was close behind, shouting, “You better take off the ring before you get in the water!” “It’ll be fine!” she shouted back. Soon they were in the water, frolicking wildly, splashing each other and laughing hilariously. But when they finally came back to the beach, the ring was gone! Johnny stared at Maria’s bare hand in shock. He suddenly burst into tears and staggered toward the water, sobbing. He couldn’t believe it was gone. It seemed unfathomable that the thing he had worked so long for and even been shot for was lost forever. He fell to the sand in utter confusion. “It’s gone…it’s gone forever,” he repeated. Distressed, Maria knelt down next to him and wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry, Johnny. Please, don’t be mad at me! We can buy another ring! My folks will give me the money. We’ll find one just like the one you bought me. It’ll be OK. Please don’t cry.” But nothing she said brought him comfort. He was devastated. He had spent so much of his life working for and protecting this ring so he could present it to the woman of his dreams. But in the end, it meant little more to her than a commodity that could easily be replaced. How could he get her to understand that the true value of the ring was in the blood, sweat, and tears that it took to get it from the battlefield all the way to the bedroom?
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