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Lasting Love
OUR COMMUNITY
Lasting Love
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Two long-married couples share their advice for a happy marriage.
ASHLEY ZLATOPOLSKY CONTRIBUTING WRITER
Whether you’re single, married or anything in-between, Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love. Sometimes, people fall in love at a young age, while others fall in love later in life. In Jewish Metro Detroit, there are thousands of love stories each unique in their own way. Here are two examples of how love can take form, grow and evolve with time, sometimes surprising us all.
BEN AND SHELLEY SKELTON
When Philadelphia-born artist Shelley Skelton, now 80, moved to Metro Detroit in her younger years and married, she thought her life was set. But plans changed, and Shelley and her husband, a practicing dermatologist, divorced. Now embarking on a new path in life, Shelley Skelton discovered love accidentally without really looking for it.
In the late 1970s, while taking on a new job as a secretary to a sales manager of a real estate firm, Shelley met Ben Skelton, now 78, who was the office manager at the time. At a sales meeting, Ben took one look at her and determined that Shelley was both beautiful and smart. From there, they began to privately date — and eventually got married in 1980, with a truly unforgettable ceremony.
Set to be married by a friend of Ben’s who worked as a judge, Ben and Shelley prepared for the big day, only to learn that the judge had to sit for a murder trial at the very last minute. Determined to get married regardless, they moved their wedding to the courthouse with the murder trial, families and witnesses in town. They joined their two families together, with Ben having one child from a previous marriage and Shelley having two children from her previous marriage.
“He was very good to my children,” Shelley says. “They really loved him.”
When their children were grown, Ben and Shelley moved to Bonita Springs, Florida, in 2005, where they lived for 15 years, and both worked in real estate. Shelley was highly involved in Jewish life. “I was very active in Hadassah Florida,” she says. “I was actually president of the chapter down there, and I was editor of their news magazine.”
Yet, as the couple grew into their older years, their children encouraged them to move back home so they could be closer to one another. They relocated to West Bloomfield in 2020, right at the beginning of COVID-19, and found a beautiful home in the Hechtman Apartments on the campus of Jewish Senior Life, where Ben and Shelley have a cozy apartment filled with Shelley’s artwork.
When they’re not spending time with children and grandchildren, Ben and Shelley enjoy playing mahjong and Rummikub. With Ben prone to helping Shelley make the right moves in the games, she refers to him as “the muscles” in the relationship. Ben also enjoys walking the campus, which has plenty of green space. Shelley says he chats with everyone he meets along the way, always friendly and eager to learn about others. “We are not so much alike, and we don’t always agree, but we can agree to disagree on things,” Shelley says of what holds their marriage together. “We just love being with family. The biggest asset we have together is that we’re both very family-oriented.”
Ben and Shelley Skelton MARK AND ELAINE SEGAL
Mark and Elaine Segal, now 69 and 73, met as young adults after going through challenging times. When Elaine was introduced to Mark through Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Detroit, she was reluctant to go on a date with him.
“Friends wanted to fix us up, but I didn’t want to go out,” Elaine recalls. However, she eventually began to fall for Mark and the love started to grow.
In 1983, the couple got married and built a new life together. It was always full, Elaine says, with work, community involvement, family and Judaism. Mark was a commercial realtor while Elaine worked in veterinary care. The B’nai Israel members have long enjoyed participating in Friday night Shabbat Club dinners, calling Judaism the “cement” that keeps their relationship going strong in difficult times, especially in older age as they navigate health conditions.
“Never go to bed angry” and “no one is always right” are the two mantras they live by, priding themselves on their open communication and respect for one another. “He’s just a good soul,” Elaine says of Mark. “He’s caring, he’s attentive, everything about him is so sweet and so good.”
For Elaine, Mark would go miles — literally. Every Friday night since being together, Elaine has received flowers from Mark. In 1994, while flying to Florida to celebrate their 11th wedding anniversary, Elaine told Mark she didn’t need roses because they’d be a waste sitting at home.
Mark, always clever and romantic, developed a solution to ensure Elaine could still get her roses while enjoying them at the same time. He surprised Elaine by purchasing an extra seat on the plane to Florida, the middle seat between them. In that seat: 132 long stem roses that he had specially delivered, each dozen roses representing one year married.
“The stewardess signing us in started smiling and laughing because you could smell the roses on the plane,” Elaine recalls. “Every man on the plane learned a lesson that day.”
Now, they’re celebrating 39 years together and hope to have many more. In their home at Meer Apartments in West Bloomfield are many pieces of art that the couple has created over time.
“We used to take weekends away where we could do photography,” Elaine says of their shared passion. “A lot of the artwork in our house is his or mine. We liked traveling and taking cruises, but it was primarily just getting away and being alone hiking, walking and taking pictures.”
Elaine encourages other couples, regardless of age, to appreciate every moment. “Don’t take your marriage for granted,” she says. “It’s something that you have to work on. It’s a give and take.”
Mark and Elaine Segal
