16 minute read
Mystery Solved
ON THE COVER
PHOTO BY YEVGENIYA GAZMAN
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EMYSt R
At age 62, an “only child” meets her unknown siblings for the fi rst time.
ESTHER ALLWEISS INGBER CONTRIBUTING WRITER
ABOVE: Susie Simons Liebman (center) and her newly found siblings,
Maureen Lefteroff and Marvin Katz.
RIGHT: A collage of love between the two “new” sisters, Susie and Maureen. OPPOSITE PAGE, RIGHT: Susie with her son Benji Tarockoff and
daughters Halli Tarockoff and Abbi Emerson (daughter Mallory Tarockoff is not pictured).
OPPOSITE PAGE, FAR RIGHT: Susie is flanked by cousins Tracey Morrison
and Marcy Schulman who were instrumental in solving the mystery of her birth.
he pretty, outgoing little girl always knew she was adopted and therefore felt very special. Her late parents, Rachel and Jack Pludwinski of Southfield, did not believe in keeping the adoption a secret from the child they named Susan Beth Pludwinski.
Susie, 62, now known as Susan Simons Liebman of Coral Springs, Fla., left Michigan in 2010 when her now deceased husband, Steven Simons, accepted a job in Florida. She married Zach Liebman in 2020.
But neither Susie nor the parents who lovingly raised her knew the identity of her birth parents. To Susie’s ultimate surprise, her history included a heart-wrenching drama coupled with acts of kindness.
An only child, Susie was doted upon by her parents and her mother Rachel’s relatives. Her father, Jack, employed as a furniture upholsterer, was a Holocaust survivor from Poland who had lost everyone. Susie’s Hebrew name, Chana Freidel, was given in memory of Jack’s parents.
The Pludwinskis lived on Selkirk Street in Southfield. Susie graduated from Southfield-Lathrup High School, studied early childhood education for two years in college, married her first husband, Ronnie Tarockoff, and gave birth to four children.
Their three daughters live in Metro Detroit. Abbi (Chef Pete) Tarockoff Emerson, 39, teaches Sunday school at Adat Shalom Synagogue in Farmington Hills. Halli Tarockoff, 37, is a paralegal at Yeshiva Beth Yehudah Boys Division in Southfield. Their sister is Mallory Tarockoff, 32. Susie’s son Benji (Dr. Meri) Tarockoff, 35, of Miami is a business executive.
Rachel and Jack were always attentive parents and grandparents who picked up the grandkids from school and hosted fun sleepovers.
“I had a very special childhood,” Susie said. Even so, she often thought about finding her biological family.
In 1982, when she and Ronnie were married, they visited the Oakland County courthouse in search of her adoption record. They were denied access because hers had been a closed, private adoption, but did receive a letter containing “unidentified information.”
Susie learned she was born into a family, not named, with three other children. The parents were older, Jewish and gave her up for adoption because they couldn’t afford another child. They stipulated that their baby should go to another Jewish family.
Though excited by these details, Susie postponed searching further for her identity while her adoptive parents were alive. “I would never want to devastate them,” she said. “I was totally all they had besides my own kids.”
DNA BREAKTHROUGH
When Susie first took 23andMe’s DNA testing kit, she was underwhelmed with the results, matching with only very distant third to fifth cousins. “I’m done,” she
continued on page 14
ESOL DV
PHOTO BY YEVGENIYA GAZMAN PHOTO BY YEVGENIYA GAZMAN
ON THE COVER
continued from page 13
decided, and went about her life. That includes working as a substitute teacher at Lubavitch Hebrew Academy in Margate, Fla.
Susie became frum (Orthodox Jewish) 12 years ago and brought along second husband, Steven Simons, when Rabbi Yankie Denburg introduced her to the Chabad-Lubavitch movement, a form of Chasidic Judaism. Susie had met the rabbi when she had his daughter in her class at the Hebrew Academy.
Now Susie and Zach, whom she married three years after Steven died, attend Chabad of Coral Springs, whose spiritual leader, Rabbi Yossie Denburg, is Rabbi Yankie’s father.
On the morning of Sunday, March 6, 2022, Susie opened her computer to find a message that changed her life. A biological first cousin, Marcy (formerly Katz) Schulman, had contacted her through 23andMe, wondering how they were related.
“That was so exciting,” Susie recalled.
Marcy, of West Bloomfield, had recently taken the DNA test and Susie’s earlier results were in the company’s database. After finding Marcy’s message, the women began messaging back and forth. By 3 p.m. that day, Susie was talking with several of her first cousins on a video call that Marcy had arranged.
The cousins knew of 10 Katz siblings in the generation above theirs. Susie clearly was the child of one of the seven Katz brothers. The cousins narrowed it down to three men who possibly could have been Susie’s birth father. Going beyond that point would prove more challenging, as DNA would be difficult or impossible to obtain.
Allowed access to Susie’s 23andMe account, Marcy found a close relation on Susie’s mother’s side of the family. Tracey (formerly Pearl) Morrison of Folsom, Calif., matched as a first cousin once removed. Marcy encouraged Susie to contact her. Perhaps Tracey might know something about Susie’s origins.
“I wrote to Tracey through the 23andMe website,” Susie said. Tracey wrote back and said that her maternal Aunt Ethel (formerly Jackson) and Uncle Harry Katz probably were Susie’s biological parents and, if so, then Susie had an older sister and brother.
“I called Tracey and she told me the story that her mother, Janet (formerly Jackson) Pearl, had told her, about a baby girl being adopted,” Susie said. “Tracey said that she actually had wanted to find ‘the baby’ in an attempt to connect the siblings but had no idea of how to go about that.”
Susie learned that Ethel and Harry Katz originally had two sons and a daughter (one son, Phil, is now deceased). Harry worked sometimes as a taxi driver and Ethel went to work, too. Susie decided they sounded like the family described in her letter from 1982.
DOCTOR’S INTERVENTION
It happened that Susie’s birth mother, Ethel, and adoptive mother, Rachel, shared the same obstetrician, Dr. Harry Weisberg, and were scheduled to have him deliver their babies around the same time at Sinai Hospital in Detroit. Dr. Weisberg had a sterling reputation as an OB/GYN. In his Detroit Free Press obituary from July 1994, Dr. Weisberg’s daughter said he delivered 10,000 babies during his 40-year career. With their baby’s birth imminent, Rachel and Jack Pludwinski were hopeful that after Rachel’s three previous miscarriages, she would carry this child to term. Meanwhile, Ethel and Harry Katz, overwhelmed by their financial struggles, thought it would be best to give their newborn up for adoption at the hospital. Coincidentally, the women went into labor and gave birth on the same day, Oct. 29, 1959. When the Pludwinski baby arrived stillborn, Dr. Weisberg immediately saw the remedy. He arranged for Rachel and Jack to privately adopt Ethel and Harry’s baby girl.
Harry and Ethel told their children, and the other family members, that the baby had died at birth.
“But I’m the missing link,” Susie said. “I’m the little sister they didn’t know was alive.”
Susie was showered with love. Having no children of their own, Rachel Pludwinski’s sister, Judy Jassenoff and husband, Sam, of Farmington Hills were overjoyed about Susie’s adoption. The families saw each other frequently and vacationed together.
Susie has now seen the document finalizing her adoption on Dec. 30, 1959, under the jurisdiction of Oakland County Probate Court Judge Arthur A. Moore. At top, fees totaling $391.75 for hospital and physician are listed, followed by the signatures of attending physician Dr. Weisberg and the county agent of the State Welfare Commission. hospital. the women went into labor and gave birth on the same day, Oct. 29, 1959. When the Pludwinski baby arrived stillborn, Dr. Weisberg immediately saw the remedy. He arranged for Rachel and Jack to privately adopt Ethel and Harry’s
ABOVE: Years apart, Susie and her adoptive parents, Rachel and Jack Pludwinski.
RIGHT: Birth mother Ethel
Katz with children Maureen and Phil.
DNA Revolution
Since the genetic genealogy revolution began in the late 1990s, DNA testing has provided valuable information to anyone interested in learning about their genetic ancestry.
Researchers find the commercial DNA testing kits invaluable for untangling genealogical riddles on their family trees. The kits reveal how the customer’s DNA is similar to others from certain geographic regions.
Results are shown by percentage, and sometimes on a pie chart. A specific DNA test can also indicate a customer’s genetic health risk and carrier status.
Perhaps most interesting — and even life-changing — are the testing kits’ ability to provide a list of family matches, such as happened with first cousins Susie Simons Liebman and Marcy Schulman.
The process starts with a sample of the customer’s DNA, obtained through spitting or inner-cheek swabbing into the provided small container. Sent to each company’s laboratory, scientists isolate the cells and analyze their genes.
Variants in the customer’s genes, called alleles, are compared with alleles already in the company’s databases to determine similarities. Then a report is generated on the person’s heritage and genetic relatives.
Note that different results are possible because companies have access to different databases.
For more information, the four best-known DNA test kits to consider are:
AncestryDNA:
www.ancestry.com
23andMe:
www.23andme.com
FamilyTreeDNA:
www.familytreedna.com
My Heritage:
www.myheritage.com
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ON THE COVER
continued from page 14
After the portion stating, “In the Matter of,” the line below reads “Baby Girl,” followed by a redacted last name now known to be “Katz,” and then “Pludwinski.” Jack, Rachel and their attorney signed the document.
FINDING OUT
How did cousin Tracey’s mother, Janet, now deceased, learn about the adopted Katz baby? Tracey said the most likely source was Frances Jackson, her grandmother and Janet’s mother. Ethel and her sister-in-law Frances were close friends and perhaps Ethel confided in her.
Frances also told the story to her other daughter, Sharon (formerly Jackson) Tapper, now of West Bloomfield, and much later to Sharon’s daughter and Frances’ granddaughter, Leslie Tapper of Southfield. It turned out that Leslie and her sisters, and Susie, all lived on Selkirk Street and were biological first cousins once removed. The girls went through Southfield schools together, but none of them knew of their close relationship growing up.
There’s an alternative theory about how Frances learned the family secret. Sharon said her parents, Frances and Newtie Jackson, were living on the same block of Mansfield in Detroit as Rachel’s Aunt Ida Diem. Ida told Frances (Ethel’s sister-inlaw) that her niece Rachel had adopted a baby girl. Because of the timing, Frances might have realized it was too much of a coincidence and surmised that Ethel and Harry’s baby hadn’t died but was put up for adoption.
Sharon said she never broke her promise to mother, Frances, to stay quiet about Susie, but still felt a curiosity to see the baby, possibly her own first cousin. Sharon walked over to the Pludwinski home on another block of Selkirk “just once. But I never did go again,” she said, “because I thought something might spill out.”
SIBLINGS SURPRISED
Only a few of Susie’s birth family members knew of her existence. The siblings who weren’t told are her sister Maureen Lefteroff, 75, of Royal Oak; she was 12 when Susie was born, and brother Marvin “Marv” Katz, 69, of Redford; he was 7. Their deceased brother, Phil, had been 13 or 14 at the time.
Marv and Maureen told Susie they never quite believed it when told the baby had died in the hospital.
“When they had Marvin, they had a crib set up for him — we didn’t see anything for the new baby,” said Maureen. She has a daughter, Rebecca Militzer, adopted from Bogota, Colombia, and grandsons Jackson and Owen. Her late husband was Ronald Lefteroff.
“We didn’t see any baby equipment waiting at home,” agreed Marv. His immediate family is his wife, Cherry, and their son, Jason, married to Erika.
Maureen is bothered that some cousins knew the secret about Susie long before she and Marv did. “Why could they be told and not us?” she asked. “I was 40 and Mom was 65 when she passed away. There was plenty of time for her to tell us.”
After Susie and her cousin Tracey spoke on the phone, Susie asked the best way to approach her siblings. Unsure of Marv’s reaction, Tracey decided to contact Marv’s wife first with the news. Then it went like this:
“Cherry told me to turn TV off while I was watching a hot rod show,” Marv said. “‘I have something to tell you,’ she said. ‘What do you want?’ I replied. ‘Your sister Susie called Tracey — your baby sister is alive.’ It was like I always thought. My insides flipped a bit because she’s alive. Then I got excited. ‘Give me her number, give her my number,’ I said.”
There was no reason to doubt Marvin’s enthusiasm. “I was so looking forward to that baby coming home” in 1959. “I think if she had, my life would have been a little different.” His older brother and sister had each other but with Susie, “I would have had someone to look out for.”
FIRST MEETING
With everyone now informed, the next step was for Susie to meet her siblings and cousins in person. Marcy and her hus-
band, Jeff, hosted band, Jeff, hosted a home-based a home-based gathering in West gathering in West Bloomfield on May Bloomfield on May 9. Out-of-towners 9. Out-of-towners Tracey, and Susie’s Tracey, and Susie’s son Benji, flew in son Benji, flew in for the occasion. In for the occasion. In the meantime, Marv the meantime, Marv got his DNA tested got his DNA tested and it confirmed that and it confirmed that Susie and her loving adoptive mother, the late Rachel Pludwinski. Susie was indeed his and Maureen’s full Susie was indeed his sibling. Susie’s daughter Halli said she was going to the reunion “to fully support my mom during this time. I really can’t say what the future holds, but I’m excited to meet the new relatives and see how it goes.” Prior to the evening, Susie said she “cheated” by taking her birth sister to a Starbucks in the morning. “It was amazing,” Maureen said, “Like I had known her my whole life.” After seeing her, Marv decided Susie “has more of [our father’s family] Katz features, but I can see [our mother’s family] Jackson resemblances, too.” The new family members talked easily at the gathering and seemed to relish the opportunity to speak with and hug Susie and her children. It was a good time to be together.
A ‘SELFLESS GIFT’
Susie’s daughter Abbi said, “We were raised by my parents to be advocates for adoption. “My mom always told us it was the most selfless gift someone could give to another family and the child. “I believe that my mom’s biological parents likely had an incredibly difficult time making their decision. I am thankful that they gave my grandma and papa the opportunity to be parents and blessed us in return with our big, loving, crazy family!” Susie said, “This is a story of two families enjoying each other. One family that gave up a baby and another that wanted one. “Now all the parents are gone so nobody is getting hurt on either side. And now cousins and siblings can be whole, and one family did another a mitzvah. “It’s a beautiful, happy ending.”
Unlocking Closed Adoptions
DNA testing has lifted the veil of secrecy on closed adoptions, also called “confidential” or “secret” adoptions. Once a common practice in the United States, they make up only 5% of adoptions today. Closed adoption is a process by which an infant is adopted by another family, and the record of the biological parent(s) is kept sealed — protected from inquiries.
Closed adoption was often a societal solution intended to hide the “shame” of children born to unwed mothers. In the 1950s, social workers felt no pressure to include information about the father in the records.
Closed adoption had the benefits of protecting the privacy of birth parent(s) while preserving the rights of adoptive parents to raise their child without the distraction or interference of birth parents. Such adoptions allow for the most privacy and may provide a sense of closure for some birth mothers.
At that time, a husband and wife wanting to adopt a child were generally required to prove a diagnosis of the woman’s infertility, confirmed by a doctor. Adoptive parents were not allowed to obtain their child’s medical history.
The closed adoption system also denied information to adults adopted as babies in the 1950s. These individuals, now generally in their 60s, were left frustrated in their quest to find their biological families.
Adults adopted in Michigan are now able to obtain their closed adoption record. Google the “howto” question and find a link giving instructions on the Michigan.gov website.