SPIRIT
TORAH PORTION
The Blessing Of Saying Goodbye
T
indicates that something unusual his Shabbat Genesis conis going on. But we have to imagcludes with the death of ine that Joseph’s elderly patriarch Jacob. father, terminally ill at Until now, we hear only age 147, should not have brief details regarding the caught Joseph off guard. deaths of personalities and What could it mean? there is no mention of any Bereshit Rabbah, Toldot illnesses preceding a death. Rabbi 65 teaches that it was Jacob becomes the first of Joseph Jacob who demanded that our ancestors to be identiKrakoff sickness be put into the fied as sick. Parshat world. In this Midrash, As Jacob nears the end, Vayehi: Jacob is pictured as saying his son Joseph is informed Genesis of his father’s illness, 47:28-50:26; to the Holy One: “Master of the Universe, if a person prompting Joseph to see I Kings 2:1-12. should die without first Jacob. Joseph is told: Hineh being ill, he will not be able Avicha Choleh — Behold, your father is sick. At first glance, to resolve his affairs among his children and the members of his the Hebrew word Hineh (behold) family. But if he is sick for a periconnotes surprise, urgency and
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od of days, it would give the time needed to make arrangements.” The Holy One responded: “By your life, you have demanded a good thing and it will begin with you.” The Midrash helps us understand then the deathbed scene in Chapter 49 when Jacob is surrounded by his children and grandchildren, he uses those moments to speak honestly and to bless his family, conveying his values and an ethical will he hopes will guide all of them. As a result of Jacob’s end-of-life plea that the Almighty not take his soul until his family assembles around him, we learn the gift of saying goodbye. This opportunity is not possible when a person dies suddenly and unexpectedly. When someone is terminally ill and their health is rapidly declining, usually there is a special opportunity to gather with loved ones and share memories as well as words of gratitude and
love. It is particularly important for the dying person to hear that their life was meaningful and that their legacy will be perpetuated. Thankfully, Jewish ritual contains a special prayer called the “Vidui,” recited at end of life, often at the bedside, ideally by the person themselves or by a family member, friend or clergyperson on their behalf. This prayer expresses faith in God and creates a place for forgiveness and reconciliation, allowing for the healing of rifts and misunderstandings so one can leave this world in purity. The “Vidui” provides a powerful prayer experience of finality that will never be forgotten, and we have our patriarch Jacob to thank for giving us such a beautiful, meaningful and blessed way to say goodbye. Rabbi Joseph H. Krakoff is the senior director of the Jewish Hospice and Chaplaincy Network.
