WELLNESS

A RUNNING EXPERIMENT

by Cedra Jazayerli photo by Sofija Buzelis

Cedra Jazayerli stretches at Katherine Leggie Park on a Sunday morning.

The past three months have required a lot of adjusting. From preparing for hybrid learning to being rudely awakened by an all-remote alert email a week prior to the start of school, the beginning of my senior year definitely has not gone to plan. On top of the traditional twelfth grade stresses, such as ACT tests, college applications and way too many AP classes to count, my peers and I have felt the anxieties of a postCOVID learning environment. This is an environment that has made me feel scared and anxious about my future. I consider myself to be carefree, a go with the flow type of girl, but the feelings of uncertainty have been too much as of late. I quickly realized I needed a way to combat my mounting anxieties. Thinking of an easy, no cost activity that would give me immediate satisfaction, I decided to start running.

Now, let me be frank, I am not a runner. I love working out, but straight cardio is not my thing. My middle school water bottle of choice was a hot pink thermos that screamed attention with its bolded I HATE RUNNING phrase wrapped around the middle. I thought it was a personality trait to boast how much I despise that form of cardio. But things have changed.

Besides throwing out the hideous water bottle, I have come to tolerate running. Over quarantine last spring, I used the excuse of running to get out of my house and move my body. Granted, I never actually ran the whole time. The workout would start out as a slow jog, but eventually I’d accept defeat in favor of a walk. But I would walk upwards of five miles some days,

zoning out to music and appreciating my neighborhood. Though my life was chaotic and I was sick of my family, I wish I would have appreciated the stillness of life more. Now, the chaos has been magnified tenfold. I decided I wanted to test my mental ability to stick to running for 30 days. I am an active person, and I love working out, but there is something so mentally challenging about running that I can never push past. Nonetheless, I am using this platform to hold myself accountable and see how my mood, body, and schoolwork can change over the course of a month of consistent running. The first four days were an exciting trek. I would start my runs at around 6:30 p.m. The heat would have subsided substantially and the view of the sunset was pleasant in comparison to how I was feeling. I think it was the adrenaline of starting something new that made the first few days go really well. I was slow-a 10 minute mile pace- but I ran nonetheless. I felt accomplished after I had finished, like I had done something beneficial for my mind and body. The hardest part was always starting, but I could see myself continuing this. I wish I could say each day got better. I wish I could say each day I got faster, or stronger, or ran for longer. The truth is, I had to drag myself out of my house at the last minute to run. I don’t like quitting, but there were some days where I could not get myself out of bed, or off my phone, to go run for 10 minutes. I tried listening to motivating music, podcasts, anything to distract myself from the pain and exhaustion I was feeling. I became really familiar with my neighborhood, running laps around the block. My sisters made fun of me, and I grumbled in protest. If I hadn’t promised I’d write a story about this experience, I probably would have gave up already. Finally, after about 13 days of consistent running, I started to see a change. My pace had lowered to about 9 minutes and 15 seconds, and I gave myself a different view on these runs. I would start at Katherine Legge Memorial Park and run down County Line Road towards downtown Hinsdale. I loved running through the neighborhoods and it gave me something to do. I also increased my mileage from one to two miles, essentially running for 20 minutes. Every time I wanted to quit mid stride and walk the rest, I would think of the post-run feeling and mental clarity it provides, then maybe quicken my pace. Things were going well. I was running almost daily and it felt part of a routine. I was busy with school, tennis season, and this new running hobby. It wasn’t until Oct. 1, when I received the news of my grandfather passing, that things began to crumble. I found out alone in my house, and the utter feeling of hopelessness and helplessness began to set in. It was 5:35 in the evening, the time I would usually start getting ready for a run. Reality was not setting in as I stared at my forgotten and insignificant homework with tears in my eyes. I could not be in my house. So like the coming of age movie, where the main character runs out in the rain, I raced out of the house without any headphones, water, anything remotely beneficial for me at that moment. I just ran. I ran 4.2 miles that day, just under eight minutes each mile. The fastest and longest I had ever ran. It was so freeing. I did not think about my family, my school, or life without my grandpa. I just put one foot in front of the other and listened to my heart beat pound to the rhythm of my steps. I understand what people mean when they say they experienced a “runner’s high.” It was addicting and I knew I wanted more. I am not saying that the last 30 days transformed me as a person. But I am encouraging others to try something new to better their physical, mental, or emotional health. The column is health and wellness based, so I am excited to venture out with more interesting tips on how to stay healthy and sane during such an unprecedented time. In the meantime, I hope to continue running outside as long as the weather permits, and know that it will be beneficial for all aspects of my life.

32 | Perspectives