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SOUND ADVICE

Parenting questions, answered

COMPILED BY ALEXIS PATTERSON

MOBILE, MAY I?

THE EXPERTS: Amy Hurlburt and Reagan Vermillion, licensed professional counselors at The Well House in Southlake

Q: What’s an appropriate age to give my child a cell phone?

A: While cell phones offer a great deal of convenience and connection, not all children are ready for the responsibility that comes with technology ownership. There are no strict age guidelines; instead, we can look to the child’s maturity when making the decision. Here are five questions to help you know when your child is ready for a cell phone:

Why does my child need a cell phone?

There are a lot of creative technology options out there beyond the traditional cell phone. Search for the right device for your child. Tip: “Because everyone else has one” is probably not a great reason to buy a phone for your child.

How responsible is my child? Do they lose things easily? How do you want to handle replacement or repair?

How impulsive is my child? Will they purchase games at will? Will they post and share inappropriate pictures? Tip: Set expectations before giving your child a device. Get familiar with the various ways to safeguard your child’s device from unwanted purchases and experiences.

Does my child understand how to safely

use the internet? Do you understand how to install safeguards on the device? This is an ever-changing landscape. School resource officers are a great resource for parents who want to know the most current best practices.

How much control do I need to have

over the device? Technology ownership can be a continuum. For example, you can give limited access to a cell phone (maybe when they are at sports practice), or you could restrict access based on academic or behavioral expectations. The idea is that it doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing when it comes to cell phone ownership.

AGGRESSIVE ACTIONS

THE EXPERT:

Amy English, clinical therapist with Coppell Family Therapy

Q: When my child wants my attention, he punches my leg or arm. How can I get him to be less physically aggressive when he wants attention?

A: When kids begin to seek your attention in inappropriate ways, using the words “stop” and “don’t” generate negative reinforcement of the behavior. Instead, limit the attention you give your child in that moment by stating your expectation—the behavior you do want from the child—in a neutral tone and with no eye contact. Of course, it’s best to be proactive with both expectations and consequences—telling them, “If we need attention, we wait patiently,” or, “If we use our hands in an unkind way, then we have a tech time-out.” If a kiddo chooses to continue to hit, ignore them in the moment, then later discuss the expectation and the negative impacts of their behavior, first by asking the child their perspective. “How would you feel if a friend punched your leg for attention?” And implement the previously discussed consequence.

If the behavior continues, and it appears to be more impulsive versus noncompliant, parents can work with kiddos on nonverbal cues, such as the parent tugging their own ear or touching their own nose, as a reminder.

If you have a parenting question that you’d like our experts to answer, message us on Instagram @dfwchildmag or email us at editorial@dfwchild.com.