17 minute read
Mom Next Door / Danika Franks
by DFWChild
real moms.
RÉSUMÉ
AGE 41 LIVES IN Fort Worth. “We recently bought a house and renovated it. So I have been enjoying my design skills. My mom gave me an appreciation for beautiful things in your space and how that can boost your well-being.” TRAINED IN Emergency medicine CAREER Assistant Dean for Student Affairs at the TCU and UNT Health Science Center School of Medicine ALMA MATERS Midwestern State University; University of Texas Southwestern Medical School SIGNIFICANT OTHER Husband Chauncey, the TCU-FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) Life & Character Coach KIDS Eli, 10, Eden, 9, and Elle, 6
Danika Franks loves helping her kids as they get older and come to her "with their real problems and real needs."
mom next door / DANIKA FRANKS the doctor is in
DANIKA FRANKS HAS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS in many facets of her life. She grew up in a military family and had a chance to see a variety of countries and cultures; today she’s happily rooted in her Fort Worth neighborhood. And she followed her lifelong dream of becoming a doctor— then discovered an opportunity to combine her passion for medicine with her skills as an educator. Oh, and her interest in interior design? She’s been able to indulge that too through a home renovation, all while raising three thoughtful children with her husband Chauncey—amid a pandemic and a national conversation on race and justice.
What drew you to medicine? When I was young, I didn’t love school. Then there was one week in third grade when my teacher gave us an overview of the human body. I remember showing up every single day and having this amazing fascination with what I
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was learning. When that week was over, I went way his mind works. He’s learning how to work back to being bored. Medicine for me was just so through how mainstream school sometimes natural. It was ingrained. It’s just who I was meant doesn’t quite fit the way his brain operates. That to be. doesn’t make him bad or incapable; it just makes
You worked as an emergency medicine him different.
physician before becoming a dean at the TCU and What has it been like balancing your UNTHSC Medical School. What about education professional role with teaching your children
interested you? After I was accepted into medical during virtual learning? Starting in the spring, my school, I felt like I needed to get some more life husband and I shared those responsibilities. I took perspective before embarking on such a serious Monday while he worked; he took Tuesday while part of my training. So I deferred my entrance I worked. And when we needed to, we taught to medical school for a year, and then I needed them at night so we could maintain our Zoom to find a job. I thought about teaching, because calls and everything we needed to do during the I had a biology and chemistry background. I day. It was definitely a juggling act, like it was for decided maybe high school would be the best so many professionals across the country. fit. Fortunately, Dallas had a need that year for This school year, our children are going teachers. Even if you virtually until at least didn’t have a teaching background, they would “THIS Sept. 28. We are looking to create a more defined give you the additional training you needed. SCHOOL workspace for the kids and to better align our I learned some amazing lessons that year. Without that experience, I don’t think I would have YEAR [WE ARE] GOING schedules as parents to support their tasks in the daytime as much as possible. Also, we are going to emphasize more recognized that one of the things I love most TO EXTEND reading for enjoyment for the kids. Increasing in life is teaching. It truly is probably one of OURSELVES their reading fluency will keep them moving my strongest gifts, and it is one of the things that gives me the most fulfillment. How has your MORE GRACE, BECAUSE forward as we navigate online instruction. We are also going to extend ourselves more grace, because working interest in education influenced your children? WORKING remotely from home and schooling from home It’s amazing for my husband and me to see REMOTE- is hard! Are your kids what is in our children’s minds—things that weren’t even part of what we understood the world to be like LY FROM HOME AND handling the pandemic situation well? They’re loving seeing Mom and Dad at home more; they’re still struggling when we were kids. My parents both graduated SCHOOLING with not understanding that Mom and Dad high school and did some college but FROM HOME aren’t always as available to them, even though decided that wasn’t for them; they really made careers for themselves IS HARD!” we’re at home. At the beginning of the pandemic, with by joining the military. Zoom calls, I would I had the privilege to really try to hush the attend an institution of higher learning and to kids, get them in the other room, try to make have a professional degree. Between that and my things as quiet in my home office as possible. But husband’s education as well as his role in working I think as a country and really as a world, as with collegiate athletes, higher education is on we grapple with having to be professionals our children’s minds. We’ll hear our oldest share, from home, we have to be more understanding. “I’m going to get a master’s in this.” He already Sometimes I’m on a Zoom call and my kids are understands the construct of how education in the next room having an epic fight. So maybe works and its benefits. We consider that a real joy. I have to say to my colleagues, “Hey, I have to
And we’re navigating some really beautiful go break up a fight really quick.” This morning, and complex things with our children as it my youngest just needed to sit in my lap. And pertains to learning. For example, we discovered so she sat in my lap while I took my call. We just in the past year that my son has dyslexia. We’ve have to find more creative ways to be efficient really been working with him to embrace the and make sure that we’re still putting out an
ABOVE // Danika Franks has loved each stage of parenthood. “This is the age when they’re all playing with each other. It has been sweet.”
exceptional work product.
How have you helped your kids process what’s happening in terms of
the national attention on race and justice? These are conversations we’ve been having with our children for a while. We are a Black family. We live in a predominantly white neighborhood. My children are typically the only children of color in their classes, and we’re having really big conversations with them around what it means to be Black in America and how to help them navigate that—how to help them understand the beauty of their heritage and how to be proud of who we are, while still having to navigate some of their own circumstances.
My son was playing basketball a few years back with some kids, and they were playing shirts and skins. He was told that he couldn’t play “skins” because his skin is a different color. So kids have real problems and real things that they’re addressing. They have real things that we have to sit down with them about on a daily basis.
How have recent events affected what you’re talking about with
them? What we’re doing is responsibly giving them context for what is happening in our nation. No, we don’t sit them in front of the television and let them watch the news. But yes, we tell them what is happening and give explanations. For example, we’ve talked about the recent death of George Floyd with my older two. We talked with my son, in particular, about Ahmaud Arbery and his death as he was just jogging through a neighborhood. Some of that is in the context of the injustice. Some of it is in the context of raising a Black son to help him to understand the world that we are in as we try to change it.
How do you try to change things? My husband and I have had a lot of amazing conversations with our own community. We endeavor to help shed light on how we as Black people are impacted, even as professionals in Fort Worth. As a Black doctor, I’ve walked into the room and had patients say that they didn’t want me to treat them because of my race. When we first moved to Fort Worth, somebody called the police on Chauncey because he was sitting in his car waiting for our dogs at PetSmart, and they thought he looked suspicious. So we want our community to understand that we too are on the receiving end of both implicit and explicit biases. Unfortunately, those things happen every day.
Do you have hope for real change? I do have hope for a more empathetic, conscientious and celebratory society—where I as a Black woman, my beautiful Black family and Black people are fully seen and equally valued alongside all our fellow humans. Some of my hope is rooted in aspirations for what our current world can be, framed in the bright eyes of my children; as a Christian, most of my hope is rooted in what is yet to come and what lives on eternally.
1BEST EDUCATION TECHNOLOGY FOR KIDS
DOCTOR’S ORDERS
danika franks’ family favorites
INTERVIEW ALEXIS PATTERSON
2FAVORITE FAMILY OUTINGS g “We really enjoy the Fort Worth Zoo as well as Casa Mañana. While living in Collin County, we frequently would take the kids to Arbor Hills Nature Preserve. It has awesome trails, and they also have a playground that’s a perfect before- or after-hike treat for the kids. We also lived in Dallas and love Klyde Warren Park. Even after our move to Fort Worth, we routinely head back to visit.” FORT WORTH ZOO // 1989 Colonial Parkway, Fort Worth; fortworthzoo.org CASA MAÑANA THEATRE // 3101 W. Lancaster Ave., Fort Worth;
casamanana.org ARBOR HILLS NATURE PRESERVE // 6701 W. Parker Road, Plano; plano.gov
KLYDE WARREN PARK // 2012 Woodall Rodgers Freeway, Dallas; klydewarrenpark.org
POST-PANDEMIC VACATION
4
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TOP FIRST-AID TIP
‘‘ MY ADVICE— REMAIN ORIENTED TOWARD THE PREVENTION OF INJURIES. HOME CHILD-PROOFING, SAFETY PLANS FOR YOUR HOME, PROPER CAR-SEAT SELECTION AND USE AS WELL AS WEARING ‘‘ SEATBELTS ARE AMONG THE MOST IMPORTANT ACTIONS TO TAKE FOR INJURY PREVENTION. 5
WE LOVE ALL THINGS OSMO! OSMO IS A WONDERFULLY CREATIVE AND IMAGINATIVE PLATFORM THAT INTERACTS WITH YOUR CHILD AND PROVIDES POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. WE PARTICULARLY LOVE THE TANGRAM GAME.
BEAUTY PRODUCT
OF CHOICE
match Adaptive Moisture
Lotion. It leaves my skin moisturized and not too oily. I love Beautycounter products overall for their safer and healthier ingredients.”
6HOW THEY GIVE BACK g “My husband’s role as the TCU-FCA character coach has given us some amazing opportunities to pour into the student athlete community over the last 10 years. Additionally, I have had the honor of serving on the Programs and Services Committee for the Young Women’s Leadership Academy (YWLA) in Fort Worth. I am amazed by these powerful and remarkable young women and consider it an honor to serve in this capacity. I also have the privilege of joining the YWLA board in September.” TCU FELLOWSHIP OF CHRISTIAN ATHLETES // tcufca.org YOUNG WOMEN’S LEADERSHIP ACADEMY // fwisd.org/ywla
a tuesday in the life of
REBECCA LIVELY
7:30AM Wake up, check work email, Defense attorney Rebecca Lively makes her home in the Denton County community of Argyle, but her namesake law firm handles criminal cases across the Metroplex. When she’s not conferring with clients or appearing before a judge over video call (a sign of the COVID times), Lively is spending time with the three guys in her life: husband Eric—they’ve been happily wed for 15 years—and sons Lucas, 11, and Hunter, 10. respond to any client emergencies from overnight. Coffee, hugs, food. MidCOVID pandemic, our days definitely look different than they used to. My husband, who once traveled more than 50% of the time for his job in telecommunications, now works 100% from home. I used to be in court multiple days a week and now handle most of that via Zoom—but I still have to make some visits to the courthouse and jail. So we look at our schedules to see who has what and plan our day. 8AM More coffee, please. As a family we have decided that our boys will be spending at least the first nine weeks of school learning virtually, so we are in the process of creating learning areas in the house. That is going to be our main goal today, outside of our other jobs, so I check to make sure all the deliveries have arrived. I get in 15 minutes of yoga … need some deep breathing. 9AM Check in with my family. They are all frontline workers, from my mom (a travel nurse currently in Miami) to my sister (a pediatric surgeon in New York). I text with them daily to make sure they are OK and weathering the stress. I send funny memes or pictures of the boys and little stories of our days. I know they are exhausted; they know I am very worried about them. Last of the coffee, I promise. 10AM Dishes! Amazing when you are all home— four humans, eating three meals a day—how
many times you do the dishes. Returning to work, I make a public records request, conference with the district attorney’s office, write a letter to a client and have a client conference via Zoom. Then I head outside. We have a garden that my neighbor and I both work on. It has taken years to turn it into anything worth the labor, but it has finally exploded with the most beautiful vegetables and herbs. It is where I go to escape the chaos of my house. Today I harvest about 24 tomatoes and tons of herbs. 11AM I’ve decided to make roasted tomato sauce with the tomatoes from the garden and watch Gov. Abbott’s news conference at the same time. Once the sauce is in the oven, I have a conference with a client’s brother, do some legal research, send emails to the district attorney, read and summarize police reports, have more conferences with clients. Then I make a quick lunch for the boys, make sure they have made their beds and cleaned their rooms (eventually taking away video game controllers to ensure it’s all done). Teach Hunter how to start a load of laundry; Lucas does a quick pickup of the living room. 12PM We rearrange Hunter’s bedroom for virtual learning with his new desk, bookshelves, lights, alternative seating and whiteboard calendar. Email with district attorney, negotiate felony plea offer, read and make notes on material for a case. 1PM Continue rearranging Hunter’s room and build shelves in Lucas’ room to support his virtual learning. And I have to update the chore chart. We have a chore chart where the boys earn and spend internet time like money—I forgot to add that Hunter did laundry. 2PM I research a drug rehab program for a client and do a Zoom conference with the client and their family, then set up a cookie-baking-slashmath lesson with Hunter. He is going to double the recipe so we’re working on fractions. Before we can start the cookies, I finish off the roasted tomato sauce and put it in the fridge for tomorrow. 3PM Bake cookies with Hunter and make a gigantic mess in the kitchen. He insists on tasting as we go—so he tastes the sugar, then the sugar and butter together, then the batter, then the chocolate chips, the cookie dough. I swear this kid had eaten at least six cookies’ worth of ingredients before even one was in the oven! I email with the court then text with my mom and my sister. Arrange a playdate and pitching lessons for Lucas. 4PM Bake more cookies, clean up cookie mess because there is flour everywhere, check work email, clean kitchen. (Didn’t I do that like four times today??) 5PM Finish baking cookies by myself. Because we made a double batch, there are eight dozen cookies to be baked, and by now Hunter has completely lost interest. Clean the living area, set the dinner table. My in-laws arrive early for dinner.
the fine print
WHAT SHE’S READING Everything. I love to read. I just finished American Dirt, Mexican Gothic and Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. FAVORITE DATE NIGHT SPOT Keiichi in Denton GUARANTEED TO MAKE HER LAUGH My husband. He’s hysterical, even after we’ve been together for 20 years. GUARANTEED TO MAKE HER CRY I am a “fixer,” so when I am extremely frustrated and do not have the power to fix something, that is very personal to me. FIRST CELEBRITY CRUSH Joey McIntyre from New Kids On The Block
BIGGEST PET PEEVE
Dishonesty. Actions speak louder than words. MOTHERHOOD IN FIVE WORDS Remember to trust your gut. WHAT SHE DOES WHEN LIFE GETS STRESSFUL Breathe. This is just a season. You will survive all your feelings. SHE’S INSPIRED BY People who offer grace, people who laugh really loud, good parents, intentional actors, smart decisions, thoughtful choices and sincere apologies.
My husband gets home with pizzas, and we open some wine and finally sit down. 6PM We eat as a family, discussing anything and everything. Papa O, Eric and Lucas run down the street to practice baseball for 30 minutes. Grandma and Hunter play basketball. I sit in silence at the table and finish my glass of wine. 7PM I clean the kitchen (please let this be the last time) and take a video call from my lovely high school friend in New York. We laugh over fantastically creative gag gifts we’ve been sending back and forth since coronavirus. Hers was delivered today; it was a blue metal chicken. I go and sit on the back patio with my family. We laugh at the boys performing jokes. 8PM Grandparents leave. We clean up the patio and direct the boys to shower. I put away 8 million cookies and double-check my schedule for tomorrow. I lay out supplies needed for my son’s math placement test in the morning. Make sure I closed the garage, holler at the boys for the third time to shower, and rotate a load of laundry. 9PM Check work email and send a quick response to the court. Wash my face, kiss my boys goodnight, lie down and pick up my most recent book; most likely will fall asleep reading it. This was a good day.
P O D C A S T
INTRODUCING THE DFWCHILD PODCAST
Check out the lineup of the September DFWChild podcast. You’ll learn more about an important update about a childhood disease called AFM, maintaining a healthy marriage, and finding and nurturing mom friendships.
