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Class Struggle

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When a child’s academic difficulties or social challenges linger, how do you help them?

WORDS ALEXIS PATTERSON

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THE TRADITIONAL LEARNING ENVIRONMENT works well for a lot of kids. But a lot of others are struggling. Perhaps there are academic difficulties. Or maybe your child can complete the work but at a different pace (faster or slower) than their peers. It could be that your child is unable to find a solid group of friends. The reasons a child may not thrive in a typical classroom—or a virtual one—are many, and so are the resulting questions for parents. What’s a normal challenge for a kid to overcome? What requires intervention? How do you make sure your child is getting the support they need?

SPEAK UP

Children can be masters at hiding troubles, which can delay getting them help. A mom we’ll call Kathryn Johnston, who lives in Tarrant County, had no idea anything was amiss with her middle schooler—until the emails and calls from teachers informing Johnston that her daughter wasn’t turning in work, or writing “IDK” (tween shorthand for I don’t know) as a response.

“She broke down and talked about emotional challenges she was having at school,” says Johnston. “She’s a sensitive soul, a sweet girl. She’s tried sports and activities and hasn’t found her thing or her group. She says she doesn’t fit in, and those emotional issues are driving the academic issues.

“When she does the schoolwork, she does well,” Johnston continues. “She just gets so distracted in the school environment. She feels that if she asks any questions or asks for help, she’ll be embarrassed.”

That’s a common theme among kids who are having trouble in school. They don’t want their classmates or even their teachers to know they’re struggling, or—especially among littler ones—they just don’t know how to self-advocate at school.

That was an issue for Bridget Robinson’s son Micah. Robinson, a teacher in Dallas ISD, set about encouraging her son to find his voice. “I tell him, ‘If you’re stuck, you need to ask. Don’t sit there for 20 minutes not doing anything,’” Robinson says, adding that “we teach kids to be quiet and listen, but kids also need to be able to speak up.’”

Dallas ISD Chief Academic Officer Shannon Trejo agrees. “They don’t want to raise their hand and say they don’t understand. It’s an ongoing issue, but it can be even harder or affect more kids in a virtual environment.”

THE ACADEMIC APPROACH

It’s easy to understand that children who are behind academically can struggle in the classroom, but so can above-average kids. A Dallas mom we’ll call Ana Garcia says her son sat bored at the computer much of last year as his fourth-grade teacher worked to oversee both oncampus and remote students on varying levels.

For kids who are ahead of the curve, Garcia recommends asking the teacher for extra science projects, reading and other assignments. Parents can inquire about gifted and talented options, and an instrument, art classes, sports lessons and other activities can make good use of advanced kids’ extra time and mental energy.

As to the flip side—when students don’t comprehend material or are unable to keep up—educators understand and have processes to identify them at an early stage. “Although some students may not meet criteria for special education, they may need additional supports and resources to help close the achievement gap,” says Lesa Shocklee, executive director of special populations for Little Elm ISD.

Schools use a variety of methods to help kids learn more effectively. Dynamic grouping (grouping children who work at similar paces), learning software, learning specialists and tutoring are all common. If campus resources aren’t already being offered, don’t be afraid to ask. And if your child has a diagnosed learning difference or another special need, avail yourself of official accommodations.

A Fort Worth mom we’ll call Lauren Brewer says her son with dyslexia receives accommodations and the support of a district specialist—but Brewer and her husband work hard to support him as well. For example, they talk about accomplished individuals with dyslexia. “We’ve also pushed him to understand how to use his mind as an instrument,” Brewer notes. “It’s important for him to understand that there is no ‘normal’ way to learn.”

Indeed, a child’s family can provide critical assistance. “Improving reading, math and writing skills can be fun and part of another family activity,” says Jennifer Price, executive director of curriculum and instruction for Keller ISD. She suggests reading signs while riding in the car, practicing math at the grocery store, and writing thank-you notes or other letters. Parents can also make sure their children are better equipped to remain focused during homework time or virtual learning. “Having your own school space versus play space makes a difference,” Trejo advises. And helping kids stay organized and having a structured routine can pay dividends.

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL

When your student’s struggles are rooted in emotional issues, as they are for Johnston’s daughter, don’t underestimate the challenge in solving them. “Anxiety, sadness, embarrassment—these can really interfere with concentration and perseverance in school,” explains Paul Haggan, Argyle ISD’s crisis

coordinator. “There’s a trend of stress increasing and coping declining, and it’s happening at younger ages. It’s getting into elementary school now.” Some districts incorporate social-emotional learning into the school day. “Dallas ISD has builtin morning meetings in elementary schools and advisory periods in secondary schools to focus on relationship-building,” shares Juany ValdespinoGaytán, Dallas ISD’s executive director of engagement services. “This is an intentional effort to foster a safe, supportive, welcoming environment.” It’s not perfect—kids aren’t always kind, and everyone is going to have a bad day. When do you know your child is dealing with something more? Raúl Peña, Fort Private Road Worth ISD’s chief of student and school Some parents choose a private educa- support, and Dorene tion for a struggling child. We talked Benavidez, the district’s with Kathy Edwards, founder and head of school for The Novus Academy in Grapevine. Edwards notes that while you may be paying tuition, private schools such as hers may offer: • Smaller class size; • Further specialized programs executive director of equity and excellence, share these indicators: • Making excuses as to why they don’t want to go to school; and instruction; • Giving few details • More classmates facing similar and having a negative academic or emotional issues, attitude when asked enabling increased opportunities questions about school; for friendships. • Difficulty sleeping or lack of appetite; • Not completing assignments or exaggerating about getting things right; • Behavior problems at school or at home. If your student is displaying those signs, or you just sense they’re not in a good place, don’t wait to get help. School counselors are an obvious resource; you may seek private mental health support as well.

TALK IT OUT

The universal recommendation—however a child is struggling—is to make sure the lines of communication between home and school are wide open. “When my son started having problems, I was talking to the teacher and finding out exactly what I could do,” says Robinson. “Parents need to speak up. It’s your kid. Call up the school. Ask to talk to the teacher during planning period. Ask for websites, a workbook, anything that will help. Teachers want students to do well and be happy.” If you don’t feel heard by the teacher, don’t give up. Get in touch with an administrator—there are numerous people whose job is to facilitate your child’s success. And talk to your child too. “Simple reminders such as, ‘I know you have a spelling quiz on Friday; let’s practice your words on the way to the store,’ are a great way to be involved and show a child that their school experience is important,” says Keller ISD’s Price. Finally, let your student have their say—then advocate relentlessly for what you believe is in their best interest. “Take the time to listen to your child,” advises Brewer, “and trust your intuition.”

Private Road

Some parents choose a private education for a struggling child. We talked with Kathy Edwards, founder and head of school for The Novus Academy in Grapevine. Edwards notes that while you may be paying tuition, private schools such as hers may offer:

• Smaller class size;

• Further specialized programs and instruction;

• More classmates facing similar academic or emotional issues, enabling increased opportunities for friendships.

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