Ann’s Fashion Fortunes

By Ann Rosenquist Fee

Questions of the coif

DEAR ANN: To dye or not to dye gray hair? I am not there yet but I need to know what to do when I get there. This is the second time I have submitted this question. DEAR READER: I’m so sorry, but no, you cannot know. You can think you know, but then you hit that point where the grays are no longer here-and-there occurrences, they’ve taken over, and all this time you imagined you’d go natural but the reality is not a stunning silver, it’s drab like dirt, so you color.

You use the 15 to 30 minutes of processing time to reflect on situational ethics. Or, on the other hand, you can plan to see your colorist forever and ever, but then a pandemic takes the world and salons away from us so you’re stuck with regrowth, which actually doesn’t look as bad as you expected and actually it’s thrilling to think about re-entering the world with this new don’t-mess-with-me look of maturity, so you quit cold turkey and live out the rest of your life with unimagined freedom and an extra 60 bucks a month.

You just can’t know until you’re there. And I’m sorry about missing your question the first time, except now it kind of works as a metaphor for patience and trusting that the answers will come when they come.

DEAR ANN: I’ve always received compliments on my thick hair, but until recently, I didn’t love it.

I dreaded my morning routine because it took so long to dry my hair and the thickness had an attitude of its own. I’d often sit in meetings holding my hair out of my face, which did not exactly project the professional image I was after.

In 2019 I was tired of having hair at all so I had it chopped into a pixie. Then 2020 happened, four months of no haircuts, and as my hair grew out, I found myself noticing what I liked and didn’t like at every stage. Pandemic boredom made this a welcome project, and I spent hours on Pinterest developing a vision. As soon as possible, I booked an appointment with a new stylist, one who loved a challenge. I shared my Tammy Bohlke is director of Workforce Development at Minnesota State University’s Center for Continuing and Professional Education. Her five-year plan is to cultivate a hairstyle that looks great with a doctoral graduation cap.

thoughts, and the photos, and voila, I finally love my hair!

I love my amethyst black pompadour (and yes, the color is professional … Confidence is the best professional accessory ever). My hair still has an attitude of its own, and I can never re-create the perfect hair from the day before. But I have learned to embrace this as an opportunity to be creative first thing in the morning. I can’t believe I lived so much of my life without these feelings.

My question is, how can I get the word out to others? From embracing the importance of a great hair product (even if it has to be its own line item on your monthly budget), to knowing how to ask a stylist for what you want or even change stylists (if you tell her you want to leave the salon looking sassy and she takes out her round brush, move on) — how can I help other women find this freedom? DEAR READER: First of all, congratulations on discovering so many elusive truths at once — that it’s impossible to re-create the exact same look as the day before (a truth that makes bad hair days more bearable), that growing out one pixie is worth a thousand highpriced spiritual retreats, and that compliments are great but they’re totally separate from whether or not you’re exuding what you want to exude.

I think the best way to help others is to keep sharing your story. But don’t go blurting it out just anybody because not everybody’s ready to walk through the withdrawal that comes with kicking an addiction to other people’s opinions. Share it with the ones who gaze upon your amethyst black coiffure with the “what-the-actual-hell” smile that lets you know they’re in research mode, actively seeking inspiration for their own big change.

Or maybe she’s the one at the meeting holding her hair out of her face. Or the one with a permanent look of apology for her growing-out pixie. You’ll know it when you see it, and when this town begins to brim with the kind of confidence you are out there beaming, we’ll know you’ve done your part.

Got a question? Submit it at annrosenquistfee.com (click on Ann’s Fashion Fortunes). Ann Rosenquist Fee is executive director of the Arts Center of Saint Peter and host of Live from the Arts Center, a music and interview show Thursdays 1-2 p.m. on KMSU 89.7FM.