Debts of winter bring rewards of spring

The snow fingers gripped the county road tightly as the March wind directed and as the March sun fought back.

It was nearing March 15, the “Ides of March” that put Julius Caesar in a bit of bind, as he was assassinated on the 74th day of the Roman calendar in 44 BC, an event that forever changed the history of Rome and the modern world.

Since Caesar’s death, the “Ides of March” have become the day for settling debts. We have to pay this debt all winter in the transition to May.

Signs of this battle are everywhere. The phenomenon known as the polar plunge plays itself out in small towns and big cities. Well-meaning and college-educated people try to raise money for children who are smarter than those who plunge because they would rather play basketball in a sweaty gym with crowds cheering their efforts.

Crowds cheer at polar plunges but only because it is the Minnesota thing to do to carry on the deception that winter can be fun and jumping into freezing water can be more fun. But the kids are better because the adults show no fear in battling winter. Good example.

This winter has been particularly brutal and our only solace is to believe the victory of spring will be equally triumphant.

Shortly after the Ides, we were battling the eighth worst winter for snowfall. And we live in a place where some call it the eighth “best.” Some 83 inches were recorded at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport when the norm is 50.

But the cold was not persistent as it can be, draining all hope by the “besters” of enduring another polar vortex as a badge of honor.

But this year’s cold was less endurable than normal. It was irritatingly uneven and every single-digit day was teased by a day above freezing, approaching 40. That torture of tantalizing a warm day amid the cold we know can be permanently damaging psychologically and lead well-meaning people to move to places like Florida (too many gators) and Texas (too many armadillos).

When we speak of armadillos, we think of the Texas politician Jim Hightower, the commissioner of agriculture when liberals were still elected in Texas, who once rejected middle-of-the-road politics and said something like: “The only thing that is in the middle of the road is a dead armadillo.” a winter sport give way to an ending that says there may be fewer reasons to sit in a sports bar and watch TV.

And we can be happy that the Old Farmer’s Almanac prediction of the winter did not quite come true. The “sages” at Farmer’s told the local newspaper the winter would be colder and snowier than normal.

They were right about the snow, but a bit off on the temperature. November’s average was 33.4 degrees vs. OFA’s predicted 27.5, and normal is 34. So we were near normal, not colder.

They were closer in December, predicting 1 degree below normal when it was actually about 3 degrees below normal with an average of 16.7 degrees.

January was 1 degree (averaging 18 degrees) below normal, not like the 8 degrees below normal Farmer’s predicted.

It’s notable digression here because it’s a rare use of the word and animal in political speech.

We come to appreciate bears and coyotes whose main attribute is they are not gators and armadillos. Bears, in particular, offer inspiration as they emerge from hibernation, in a signal to some to begin wearing shorts and T-shirts.

We know that male bears emerge from hibernation about mid-March, but cub-bearing females stay in longer, until mid-April, likely glad that the male left a month early after enduring his complaints and mansplaining for a whole winter and hoping he scrounges up some grub.

But as we approach May, we’ve been building our forces against winter. Spring training comes to us, like golf and NASCAR, all suggesting the warmth of a new summer, especially the burning tires of the NASCAR vehicles as they careen into walls, giving fans their money’s worth.

The high school hockey tournament holds us over as we see the last vestige of

They really blew February, predicting an average of 5 degrees where the normal is 19 and the actual was right at that number.

So they were about half right, but when you think about it, it can’t be that tough.

When you forecast normal, above normal, or below normal, you’ve got a 33% chance of being right. Not exactly Powerball odds.

Eventually, the snow fingers release their grip of the county road in late March as the sun takes over and the lamb takes a breath. April showers bring May flowers like crocuses and sometimes, if we’re lucky, irises.

And as we race down that road clear of snow and ice, we only hope the raccoons have taken a lesson from the bad decisions of armadillos.

Joe Spear is editor of Mankato Magazine. Contact him at jspear@mankatofreepress.com or 344-6382. Follow on Twitter @jfspear.