BEER
By Bert Mattson
Socially distant dabbling A
ristotle said man is by nature a social animal. For perspective, consider the creativity social drinkers show in their commitment. Years back, a trend surfaced in our neighborhood in various guises, one being the Booze Fairy. The gist was that a gift basket arrived anonymously at your doorstep, and you were obliged to pay it forward. The specifics are hazy, except for a polite turnaround time. Aristotle goes on to opine about “unsocial” people in a way that could be construed as unflattering. It’s possible that besides being “beneath our notice,” these sorts are busy marveling at the playful ways extroverts amuse themselves. At any rate, I enjoyed how Booze Fairying prompted participants to acquire old-timey manners of awareness of friends’ and neighbors’ preferences in drink. Further, it encouraged these ambushers to know their audience and practice stoop security. Contrary to first impressions, it wasn’t completely frivolous — point extroverts. Still, I had a false idea of the depth of social drinkers’ creativity until the advent of COVID-19. Happy hour has little attraction for me. That’s probably evidence that I’m one of Aristotle’s invisible duds. I certainly didn’t miss happy hour during quarantine. I did, however, sit in awe of the small talkster invention of Quarantini Time — videoconference software as happy hour life support. It struck me as, alternately, a sort of boozy “Brady Bunch” montage, tipsy “Muppet Show” outro, or, at its most masterful, how I imagined “Hollywood Squares” at commercial break. Occasionally, an unwitting cameo — making a sandwich or something in frame over my wife’s
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shoulder — would earn me video jibes or catcalls. Aristotle had no idea. In the digital shade, I reconsidered the bottle share — a sort of friendship scale beer fest. In my thoughts, these trends converged and contrasted with the increasing (socially distant) use of online ordering to secure lockdown re-supply. The third party services that in some cities allow for ordering a meal and liquor drop in concert, seem to lag in our region (with the exception of loosened rules regarding restaurant off-sale). Further, Minnesota law does not allow shipping of beer from outside her borders. Limiting shipping to within borders, combined with the high cost of shipping, renders monthly beer clubs a somewhat unattractive option. Shipping may be palatable if a big box in another city stocks something appealing yet locally unavailable. Third-party delivery services do exist, but building a basket is awkward and, as with restaurants, stores are better served by using their delivery service, if that is offered. As I explored the potential for getting a beer gift basket delivered in another city by Haskell’s, for a $20 surcharge for anything under $100, it occurred to me that Rush Smokes & Liquor allows customers to build a six-pack, also sells select stogies, and delivers to one’s door for a paltry five bucks. The simplest pairing approach is to match beer darkness to that of the cigar wrap. October, maduro, and porter: Booze Fairies behold. Bert Mattson is a chef and writer based in St. Paul. He is the manager of the iconic Mickey’s Diner. bertsbackburner.com
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MANKATO MAGAZINE • OCTOBER 2020 • 35
