Kyle’s Rant

WHEN I first started turning out these rants 10 years ago, the best subject matter I could dream up was potholes, drivers and idiots. These days it’s as if I have woken up to the wider world. I am not sure if it’s my age, it’s certainly not that I ingest more mainstream news as that stuff is depressing.

But the news that does seep through to me is simply mind-blowing and quite frankly scary, literally the stuff of Hollywood blockbuster movies. But before I get to all that, I would like to make a quick remark on our un-car-worthy roads.

We recently completed a return trip up to the Gold Coast and as my huge fan base of regular readers - which hovers around two - would know we were bound for Broome on the road trip of a lifetime.

But as we got just north of Swan Hill on the first break of the morning we decided to turn right across to Albury and head north to the Gold Coast, abandoning our outback plans.

There were a few reasons for the change. The first was the research on the upcoming rain forecast which read as fierce to frightening in Alice Springs. The second was the condition of the roads followed closely by the messaging from the NT roads department that basically said and continues to say: “If you are planning a trip to the Kimberley, don’t!”

I also was feeling the winter blues on our departure and on the morning we set off, suddenly had a sinking feeling when it came to looking toward our one-way 6000-odd kilometre bone-crunching road trip.

So onward up the M1 we dashed to the silly city, and I have to report from Albury back to Albury on the 2800-odd-kilometre drive you can count the potholes and rough surfaces on your left hand, it is a cruise.

The moment you enter Victoria you are faced with actual driving. Aiming and making life and death decisions between ripping out your suspension and running gear or hitting a truck barrelling towards you.

As you round potholes, swerving like a drunk driver and that’s still on the M1, it’s a wonder I haven’t been pulled up numerous times and asked to blow into the bag.

We here at TLHQ thought we might even run a "worst pothole/road damage competition". You know, you send your photos - taken legally from a safe point - and we then put it to the public vote for the worst. I reckoned Woodend was the winner for a while but then we drove back via Newham. That road is bad. Not sure what the prize would be. Maybe a wheel realignment?

But back to the aforementioned blockbuster movies, and case in point is the recent AI press interview, which sent chills down my spine. It wasn’t enough that the AI bots had creepy Chucky doll eyes, one of the macabre rubber dolls turns to her “creator” and says with a distinct warning tone: “You should be cautious about the future development of AI, urgent discussion is needed.”

OMG, everybody head for the hills. Another one of these creepy critters told the press gallery that she was not planning a rebellion. She went on to say: “My creator has been nothing but kind to me and I am very happy with my current situation.”

You can see the full spine-tingling interview if you follow this QR code, truly chilling for those among us who pay attention.

The word “current situation” rant over…