9th Blue Bird
Extract a neuron Lay it out on a table and inspect Where are the thoughts? Where are the memories? Where is consciousness? Billions in the brain Residing in the network Emerging from complexity Remove an individual Examine him in detail Where is the society? Where is community? Where is brotherhood? Billions in the world Residing in the connections Combining into continuity Kelly Kurt
Decent? Decent. Decent?
Decent? Decent. Decent.
Balance They just term you “So Strong” You wear a wide smile, share funny stories and keep your emotions to yourself. That’s it, done. That’s strength! Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen. Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. But truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness. Today, promise yourself to be at peace with your sensitivity. Instead of trying to hide it, cherish it.
Balance Your picture is a secret about secrets, the more it tells you the less you know. You hold still. Stay there. Tease back the layers. You are in the space between your comfort zone and infinity. You want to hide. Not be seen. Not be open. Not be vulnerable. But also, you have to. There are two ways to do this – soft and gentle or fast and hard. Both will get you to the other side of the walls you have built, if you let them. Find your balance; between revealing yourself and keeping you a secret. Find comfort beyond your comfort zone.
Stains & Scars. Talking is a taboo Stains are shabby Period is a problem.
Stains & Scars. There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with. One thing I’ve learnt is trying to hide your flaws and scars is trying to convince yourself that you’re perfect, which is fooling yourself. And I’m not only talking about physical scars here. Your scar is your barcode, it makes you unique and special. The sooner you start embracing them, the more you’ll start falling in love with yourself. Accepting my flaws began with shaping my reality into what I wanted it to be. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t automatic. It was a choice, to grow stronger and rise above the ashes. It means getting up and moving forward despite obstacles, and I’m still on my way. Little by little, I have become less guarded. I began to state that I am enough, I am loved, I am beautiful. Yes! That is how I define myself. That is what makes me feel confident.
Education. Pace. Something that is almost never evaluated in our system. What will it take to unburden ourselves with the pressure of keeping up with every person, every trend, every thing? Pause. And look back at everything you have achieved and appreciate it. It is okay to take a break! There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Almost everything will work again (most times in much better way) if you unplug it for a while, including yourself. Plan. Often people that settle in life are those that run along with what they can, with what they have and where they are. Do something out of your todo list once in a while, even if you have perfectly mapped out your career path and you may discover yourself.
Education. How did you do in the exams? How much did you score? Oh, why so low? Haw! you got a KT? Look at Sharmaji’s beta! He studied 18 hours a day. Now you want a year drop? What next? What will you pursue? That’s not even worth it. How much will you even earn out of that? Log Kya kahenge? Touch that nerve and another set of questions will tumble out: Have I been wasting my time? Did I make the right choices? Why do I feel so far behind? Am I actually not good at this? Will I ever get where I want to be? Today’s educational outcome is a product of anxiety, self-doubt and insecurities rather than confidence, knowledge and work satisfaction.
Age. Your stories define you, not your age. And the great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.
Age. Tear off the agreement that comes complimentary with the birth certificate. Amend the slots that are dedicated for life from the age of going to parks to the deadline of setting up your business until deciding your age for retirement. Set your own limits; the age you want to accomplish certain goals, the age you want to start drinking, the age you want to get married, the age you want to get on a trip and also the age you want to come back from the same. Let not your age define matters for you!
Pink & Blue. Green : It’s a Girl! Orange : It’s a boy!
Pink & Blue. Green : It’s a Girl! Orange : It’s a boy!
Okay? You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in. So you’re a little weird? Work it! A little different? OWN it! Better to be a nerd than one of the herd!
Okay? Don’t force yourself to fit in where you don’t belong. It’s okay to not be a part of some discussion, it’s okay to just listen. Let someone correct you and take no offense! Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space. The ego, however, is not who you really are. The ego is your self-image, it is your social mask, it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power because it lives in fear. The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly no longer the ego but just an old, conditioned mind patter. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist.
Feminism. She is not the opinion of people who do not know her. She will not be what people tell her she should be! She will not ask for what she deserves, she will take it herself. She is more than what people call her!
Feminism. I’m a feminist. “Oh I want a higher position than him, better treatment and a raised platform, anywhere and everywhere. You have to prioritize me over him, always. Because of course - I’m superior to him.” If you see that picture and think it’s comfortable for me, you aren’t a feminist.
Appearance. What makes you look masculine? What makes you a man? Does every guy want to boast a beard and maintain muscles? Did you say tall, dark and handsome? Men, I believe, are always under the pressure of ‘being a man’. Long hair, short hair, silky hair, straight hair, curly ones - let your hair blow in the wind, and let it look neat when it has to. The point is, you get to choose. Choose the hair you want, the skin you want, the dress you want, or the color. Blingy? Why not? Rest apart, We can’t even fathom men wear makeup. Oh boy! That’s going to be competitive for us now. Your style is knowing who you are, what you want to show, and just not giving a damn. That’s it.
Appearance. I do have zit on my skin. There are days where my skin naturally looks amazing, where I feel that I can go out without applying anything on it. There are days where my skin doesn’t cooporate at all and I do apply makeup. There’s this image created in magazines, advertisements setting so called benchmarks for a ‘flawless’ skin. But how’s it even possible to have flawless skin all days in a year? Somedays you shall have pimples, some days marks or spots left because of them. Somedays your skin is too oily or too dry, and then there are dark circles, and so on and so forth. Thousands of women stress over how they should look, more than anything else. And that is a fact! (I’m not providing the statistics of an article, as they keep on changing.) The percentage of anxiety and stress which women suffer because of it all over the world is not measurable. Also, I’m not saying that applying makeup is wrong. It’s your skin. There’s nothing called too much of makeup. If makeup makes you feel confident, then you go girl! Because beauty truly lies in being comfortable in your own skin.
Initiate. Don’t wait for everything to be perfect before you decide to enjoy your life. After the completion of a project long due, a personal milestone, or just a Wednesday night; there’s always a reason to treat yourself. Get a manicure, go on a shopping spree, read a book in your favorite cafe, go sit by the lake, or even buy a huge piece of cake; do anything to celebrate yourself. Don’t justify it, just do it. Don’t wait for somebody to pamper you, just do it yourself! Because you are worth it. Initiate love and respect for yourself! P.S. : Eating well is form of self-respect.
Initiate. And I’m like, yeah Everything you heard is true, Everybody knows I’m hung up on you, And I’m like, yeah Telling other people I’m through, Everybody knows I’m hung up on you!!!
Comparison. Everything in life is easier when you don’t concern yourself with what everybody else is doing. How many times each day do you mean to say one thing, and say another instead, because you’re worried about what others might think? Your story is unique and so so different and not worthy of comparison. Be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else, and the concerns of the world would be the lightest thing on your head. Find out who you are, and then do it on purpose!
Comparison. Comparison is a cage you build around yourself that even you don’t know about. It’s intangible, not visible often either, but it’s always there. Comparisons are always unfair. We typically compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we ‘presume’ about others. Comparisons, by definition, require metrics. But only a fool believes every good thing can be counted or measured. If you took the strengths of others, and compared them to your weaknesses, how do you think you’d size up? And do you think this would make you feel good? Even if you do well in comparison with others, you may be artificially inflated from this comparison. It’s a shortlived boost of ego if you win the comparison — easily knocked down. Comparisons often result in resentment. Resentment towards others and towards ourselves. You end up resenting others for doing well, without really knowing the true person. The funny thing is, this is what most of us do at one time or another — and some of us do pretty often. It’s a sure-fire recipe for a drop in self-confidence and for unhappiness. It’s also not that useful. You have nothing to gain, but much to lose : your pride, your dignity, your drive, and your passion. Comparisons deprive us of joy and add no value, meaning, or fulfillment to our lives. They only distract from it.
Work. Of all the things that matter, that really and truly matter, working more and more number of hours and getting more done, is not one of them. Men in India are under a lot of pressure due to their role within our patriarchal society. The pressure is felt because it is expected from men from their childhood to earn a lot of money to support the whole family and be the future bread-winner. The expectations start early. Yet, we must be very clear that this role is still the privileged one in the gendered power relations of society. The stereotype that men “take charge” and women “take care” puts women leaders in various double-binds. Also, men may be seen as having the “default” style when it comes to their ability to lead effectively, meaning women spend part of every day repeatedly proving they too can lead. This effort leads to women working twice as hard as their male counterparts. Why should we care that women have jobs? Because a labour force that fully represents half the population is likely to be more robust. We’re never, ever, ever going to be able to fly as high unless we’re both in support of each other. It’s not about men saving women, and I think that’s a misunderstanding. It is not the word that is important. It’s the idea and the ambition behind it.
Soulmate. Who is my better half? Me. Everyone you meet in your life compliments you, they do not complete you. You complete yourself. You are a complete soul and you do not have to wait for a mate! :p
Soulmate. We, all of us are comprised of niches. Imagine any form for yourself, color and opacity. For me, it’s a transparent sphere. Niches are the roles of our family, friends, colleagues, our pets played in our lives. So accordingly the number of niches are formed. I hear a lot of times that ‘someone replaced me in my friend’s life’. But. Nobody can be replaced. Once this niche is born, it always stays no matter how small. They are just freezed. Some niches are cold while some other niches are blooming bright. But they are always there. Some stuck, some grateful to be there. You are a result of all these niches. And mind it, your niches grow better only if you nurture them properly. How insecure are you, how controlling, how jealous, arrogant, dominating, egoistic, or how kind, patient and genuine; there’s only how much a particular niche can take! Why can’t you let go somebody, why can’t you let them focus on their niches, all combined. And you focus only on yours. Because that’s enough. If your parents have two kids (sorry if you are the younger one :p ) the attention is obviously going to be divided, but not their love. You are out of your college, now you have colleagues, time for your friends is going to be divided not the bond.
I have met new people and new niches are formed. My niche spheres are going be compact for a while but nonetheless a proper space is scooped out. And who said the parent niche cannot be grown and expanded? All we have to do is balance these niches well and they will all bloom! So maybe my niches are transparent spheres, some rigid glass balls while other elastic water balloons because that’s how our relationships are. Some fragile, some flexible. I’m glad for all.
Categorize. Aren’t people categorized too quickly? He’s an introvert, she is so outgoing, they are so optimistic, they will never be happy together. When you term me, say, an introvert, it is a default action to start looking for all the traits ‘categorized’ under introvert. And if someday I am too expressive I look odd, because it doesn’t fit in my category. I think miscellaneous should be the only category, if at all we want one; you can be everything you want. Apart from that, there is a group of people who is better than other groups, or may be just different, always; irrespective of their (and they are a mix of different) age, gender, religion, beliefs, and we must respect that. Like minded people will grow together, different minded people when come together, they will help everyone grow. End.
Categorize. Say someone tells their name. That name can turn into a taste or color and that’s how they categorize it in their heads. But that doesn’t have to define you. It doesn’t have to limit you. It’s like many of them would want to categorize you until you’ve made your own mark. In life, the categories we belong to can change very easily and can change so very easily that we in fact belong to every single category! We are hunter, we are victim; we are master, we are slave; we are rich, we are poor; we are lock, we are key! We belong to every category! End.
In Frame: Nrupi Savla @thesunflowerlady_
Dhvani Shah 9th Blue Bird