Living to tell the tale

Business and life coach Eugene Moreau has struggled through dark times and made it out. The wisdom and conviction he shares with his clients comes from personal experience.

Type 2 diabetes runs in Eugene's family. As far as he is aware, he is the first Moreau male to have lived past 60 in at least four generations: ‘My father died at 59. His father died in his early 50s. My dad’s brother died in his 50s. My great-grandfather died in his 40s and, before that, my great-grandfather … As far back as I can find out, I am the first, which incentivises me. I’m 62 this year.’

Eugene and his wife Chereen have a goal: ‘85 and alive.’

TYPE 2 DIAGNOSIS

Eugene is from the American South. ‘My dad was Louisiana French. So I grew up on red beans and rice, corn bread, fried chicken, dumplings – Southern food.’ His parents moved to New Zealand as missionaries when he was a child. ‘Although we lived in New Zealand, my mother would still cook all this food. So I grew up with that southern American taste, and then, of course, I fell in love with boil-up over here and fried bread. Those are really cool foods, just not always good for your body.’

Eugene’s father, who had been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, passed away when Eugene was 31. Sixteen years later, Eugene found out that he also had type 2.

‘In 2006, I noticed that I was losing weight. I had an incurable thirst and I just wasn’t well. I felt my body was packing up. I had athlete’s foot in between my toes and other little things I never had before. So I went and saw my doctor in Auckland, and he sent me for a blood test.

‘The next day he called me and said, “Get in here now. You’re a walking heart attack. Your blood sugars are ridiculous.”

‘When I saw him, he said, “Do you know what diabetes means?”

‘I said, “No. What does it mean? What does it mean to be diabetic?”

‘So he tried to explain it to me, and I just felt myself spiralling. I didn’t consider myself to be an ignorant man. I considered myself to be a fairly well-travelled and knowledgeable guy, but it just did my head in, and I thought about all the things that I love to eat. I thought, “I can’t have that now.”

‘And as soon as you start telling yourself, “Oh, I can’t do that,” there’s something that kicks in. It says, “Yeah, you can.”… It’s like telling someone, “Don’t think of the colour red.” As soon as you tell someone not to think of the colour red, they start thinking of the colour red.’

Eugene took his prescribed medications, but couldn’t bring himself to change the way he ate, and he beat himself up about this. ‘My journey from 2006 was really up and down, and I think possibly a lot of people with diabetes will have a similar experience. I got to an overwhelmed place.’

THE ‘BLACK DOG SEASON’

By 2010, Eugene was suffering from severe depression. He calls it his ‘black dog season’, and one thing led to another. ‘Everything in my life imploded – financially, I lost everything – the whole nine yards … I was up over 90kg, and I’m not a tall man.’ In 2013, he had a heart attack.

He was still struggling with depression and anxiety, and comfort eating, especially sweet things, had become a big part of his life. But he knew he had to do something for his family.

‘There’s a 19-year gap between me and my wife Chereen. She’s younger. And so that’s had a big impact. Chereen said, “Look, I need you to be around.” And then our daughter Shayna – she’d just turned 25 – and she said, “I need you to be around, so get in control of this.”’

In 2014, Eugene qualified for a study that was being run out of Auckland Hospital to trial a new time-release medication that included an appetite suppressant. He was on it for six months. “I noticed that my blood sugars came down and my weight began to change, and that was the beginning of my change.”

After the trial was over, he felt better and found he was understanding more about how to bring his blood sugars down, as well as feeling more motivated to do it. ‘For the first time, I thought, “I can get in control of this.”’

BACK TO BALANCE

Eugene increased his physical activity, while acknowledging that he was never going to be a marathon runner or a gym bunny, and he concentrated on getting control over what he ate and how much. He took it slowly, trying to reduce his HbA1c over several months.

He didn’t rule out treats altogether. For example, when he sits down at home to watch a movie, he still makes himself a full bowl of popcorn to eat. It’s just that now the bowl is much smaller, and the dusting of salt and butter lighter. He says that, because he still eats a whole bowl, it feels like he’s doing the same thing. ‘Enjoy the life you’re living, but don’t be stupid,’ he says.

He adds, ‘Medication will work, but you must have mental discipline to stay the course. You’ve got to learn to say “no”. I will get my blood sugar levels down because I work at it, and the medication is just my backstop.

‘I remember one time I took off on a business trip, and I forgot to take my meds with me. I thought, oh well, we’re going to see what happens for the next two days! It was interesting. My blood sugar levels when I came back were not astronomical. Because I’d been conscious to really watch what I ate. No pavlova, no ice cream! … And I think, as diabetics, we just need to understand that there are boundaries we don’t want to cross.

‘If someone said, “What’s the one thing you’d say to someone who just found out they’re diabetic?” I’d say, “You’ve got to learn the discipline of the boundary. And if you do break it, don’t break it repeatedly. Because your body will tell you, your sleep patterns will tell you.”’

Eugene and wife Chereen.

NEW DRUGS Eugene has been on various drug combinations over the years – metformin and different insulins for diabetes, as well as medications for lowering blood pressure and cholesterol. Some combinations have worked better than others, and, after a period where he was having too many hypos (episodes of low blood sugar), it was time for another regimen change.

Diabetes NZ, with other advocates, had been pushing to get a wider range of type 2 medications funded in New Zealand, as the range available here was meagre compared with other countries. One new drug being advocated for was Empagliflozin, which lowers both blood sugar and blood pressure by helping your kidneys get rid of glucose, salt, and fluid when you pee.

Eugene’s nurse and doctor managed to get him onto a threemonth free Empagliflozin trial, and early this year, part way through the trial, the news came through that Pharmac would at last be funding this new drug for many New Zealanders with type 2.

For Eugene, his new medication regimen, now including Empagliflozin, has been life changing. The routine is simpler than ever before, with fewer different meds to take. He says he also feels much better knowing that Empagliflozin is doing more than lowering his blood sugars. It also helps his kidneys work better and lowers his chances of heart attack or stroke.

A NEW LEGACY

After losing everything financially, and suffering the health crisis that culminated in his heart attack, Eugene rebuilt both his health and his consultancy career. Then, in 2020 Covid-19 hit, and a lucrative contract in Australia came to an end.

He decided to turn this to his advantage and, with a business partner, start a new venture. ‘I realised that I was tired of building everyone else’s business. Now, my endgame over the next five years is to build a business that looks after my wife and my family because, as a result of being diabetic, and as a result of having a heart attack, I’m basically uninsurable. It would cost me way too much money to be insured … it would be unsustainable. So that means I’ve got to create another legacy.

‘I’m a motivational teacher, on the road a lot. I love being in front of an audience, I love communicating, and I love helping people build healthy vibrant relationships. That’s what we’re building our business around – Partner4Growth.

‘I’m a certified Master Coach, and I work with communication and relationships, for professional people who need to establish loyal, profitable relationships with their clients and for individuals who need to build healthy relationships. I’ve been public speaking since I was 14 and earning my living doing it since I was 19, so I run a presentation skills programme.’

The ups and downs of his own life have certainly impacted his coaching style. Eugene says, ‘I think there’s an authenticity that comes to you when you’ve gone through what I call “trauma curves”. Diabetes, heart attacks, depression, bankruptcy… These are all trauma curves.

‘When you’ve had these trauma curves all in a 10-year period, there’s a certain level of authenticity that comes into your interactions. So if I’m meeting with someone who’s overweight, or struggling to get fit, perhaps putting on the pretence of having a fulfilled life but at the same time struggling with their mental and emotional health, I can recognise those signs.

‘I can see them and I say, okay, I don’t call them out, I don’t embarrass them, but I actually come alongside them and say, let me tell you a bit about my story … And let me tell you how I overcame that.’

Eugene recommends incremental changes and taking each day as it comes, saying ‘For today, I can make this change. Just today. And then doing the same the next day and the next … Over time, you create a new mindset.’

Another thing he suggests to people is what he calls an ‘I am … therefore …’ challenge. He tells people, ‘Every morning, I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and affirm yourself – and then confirm that. For example, “I am a great dad. Therefore, today my children are going to feel loved.” Or I would say to myself, “I am a healthy man. Therefore, today, I will be strong with what I eat.” Affirmation then confirmation. And if you start talking to yourself and actually voicing those words, it gives them life.’

REFLECTION

Eugene thinks a lot about the way type 2 diabetes is taking away the chance for people to connect with their older family members who have so much hard-won knowledge.

He feels sad when he thinks of the adult relationship he missed out on having with his own father. His dad was there for him as a child and as a young man, but he says, ‘I was 31 years old when my dad died of a heart attack, and I realised that I missed out on the greatest part of the relationship with him – that adult relationship where there’s real wisdom and experience talked about.’

The way Eugene sees it, we all talk about being here for our children when they’re young – but middle-aged people benefit from relationships with their elders as well.

‘I think our families need the wisdom that only age and experience can deliver. When I go, there’s going to be a vacuum of that knowledge and experience, and that happens with every family. So we older people need to look after our health for our families and for ourselves, because our stories need to be told.’