Your custody rights as

Dementia Adventure is an award-winning charity that specialises in dementia training, supported holidays, short breaks and outings. We rely on donations to support people living with dementia to get outdoors, connect with nature and their community and retain a sense of adventure in their lives. W: dementiaadventure.org T: 01245 237548 E: info@dementiaadventure.co.uk Dementia Adventure CIO is a registered charity in England and Wales (1163163)

2020: International Year of the Nurse and Midwife

YOUR CUSTODY RIGHTS AS A GRANDPARENT and what to do if you are refused access to your grandchild

Registered charity 213128

The Queen’s Nursing Institute is the world’s oldest nursing charity * that champions and supports the work of community nurses.

We help community nurses in financial trouble due to adverse life events, such as serious illness. This help changes lives, enabling many nurses to return to the workforce. We encourage social interaction between current and retired nurses (who are often housebound) through our telephone project, ‘Keep in Touch’. We provide educational grants to support community nurses’ continued training.

Donations in the form of gifts in Wills or legacies are crucial in enabling the QNI to continue supporting these nurses who look after us all in our time of need.

To find out more:

www.qni.org.uk 020 7549 1400 mail@qni.org.uk *as certified by the Guinness World Records Grandparents can be an important part of the family unit and play a vital role in their grandchildren’s upbringing. In fact, research estimates as much as 60% of all childcare in the UK is provided Lucinda Holliday is head by the grandparents . of family & divorce at

However, in the event of a family Blaser Mills Law. or relationship breakdown, some may find they are denied access to their grandchildren, and this can be devastating for both the grandparent and the grandchild.

There are a number of things grandparents must consider to secure the relationship with their grandchildren during such disputes. Here are some of the main factors to be aware of if your time with your grandchildren is cut off.

Your legal rights as a grandparent

In England and Wales, grandparents do not have the legal right to see their grandchild, nor do they have automatic parental responsibility of their grandchildren, however the parents of the child do and can decide who their children see. Therefore, it is always recommended to try and keep an open dialogue with the children’s parents.

If arrangements to spend time with the grandchildren cannot be reached, grandparents can apply for permission to undertake a court order to seek contact, and it is very rare that a court would refuse the grandparent permission to make the application.

There are a number of things grandparents must consider to secure the relationship with their grandchildren during disputes

During a court hearing to grant grandparents contact with their grandchild, the court will consider a variety of factors. These include the grandparents’ relationship with the grandchild, the reason and nature of the application, if granting contact would be harmful to the child and if continuing the contact would negatively impact the rest of the family. If your application is successful, you can then go ahead and apply for a contact order via the court to gain access. In most cases the two applications are combined and this is something to bear in mind when considering your application for permission. If the child’s parents raise objections, you will have to attend a full hearing, with both parties providing strong evidence for their case. Seeking legal help from a family lawyer will help you formulate your evidence to prove that your grandchild would benefit from grandparent contact. The court will consider all the child’s circumstances and will only make an order that would better enrich their life. For example, if granting access will cause further family disputes, it may be ruled that it is not the right decision to grant the grandparent access.

Other potential avenues

If you believe you are in a good position to negotiate with your child and/or their spouse regarding contact with your grandchild, mediation could be a good option to explore. Mediation can be an extremely useful way of helping both parties resolve any disputes and can allow them to work towards an agreed outcome. It encourages parties to negotiate practical arrangements that are best for all involved, including the child. Suggesting and being open to mediation also shows you are willing to be co-operative and want to do what is in the best interests of your grandchild.

A mediator will meet with both you and the child’s parents to discuss the issues that need to be resolved to enable contact. During the current pandemic, mediation can be offered via video conferencing, which can be more convenient for both parties.

When approaching mediation, it is important to keep your grandchild central to your actions, whilst maintaining an open mind and being willing to negotiate. It can also help to try and put yourself in the child’s parent’s shoes, to understand how they may be feeling about the situation. Showing your understanding of their point of view can help prevent heated arguments and keep the discussion on track.

The mediator will arrange a meeting or video conference between all involved parties and help you discuss and work through the issues you are facing. Once an agreement is reached and all parties are happy with the outcome, the mediator will provide a summary outcome statement to help everyone adhere to the agreed arrangements. However, it is important to remember that this is not legally binding. If the parents do not uphold this agreement, it puts you in a good position when approaching the courts, as you have evidence that you have tried to come to an agreement that suits all parties prior to seeking a court order.

In some instances it might be appropriate to use a mediator who is able to undertake Child Inclusive Mediation which involves the mediator seeing the children separately to see what their wishes and feelings might be and potentially feeding this back in to the

Court considerations

mediation process.

Seeking legal advice

If you have been refused access to your grandchild and are unsure about the best way to approach the situation, it is always recommended that you speak to an experienced family lawyer who can discuss options with you.

They will have a greater understanding of your individual situation and provide the best advice in line with your unique circumstances. Some family lawyers are also trained mediators, and therefore can help evaluate whether mediation is a viable option before seeking help from the courts n

Special Offer £19.99 8 issues inc p&p)

SUBSCRIBE TODAY

Have Retirement Today posted direct to your door so you never miss an issue

Send you name and address together with a cheque for £19.99 to: Subscriptions Department, Amra Media Solutions Ltd 2nd Floor, Tring House 77-81 High Street, Tring, Hertfordshire HP23 4AB

Name

Address

Post code

Mystical Places LOCH CORUISK

FANTASTIC AND fearful in equal measure, the inky water lurks beneath a forbidding range of sheer, sharptoothed mountains about as welcoming as barbed wire. No roads lead here. The only way to this dark chasm is a long, hazardous walk or aboard a little boat, that putters inland from the sea and anchors just shy of this tucked-away corrie. When the weather comes in – which is often – this spot seems almost erased: the sky sinks into the land, the cloud shrouds even the grassy knolls, the whole scene is seemingly whisked off by the elements into a different realm. Just the spot, then, for mythical creatures to do the same ...

When the Scottish writer Sir Walter Scott visited Loch Coruisk in 1814, he was both impressed and alarmed. In his romantic poem, The Lord of the Isles (penned a year later), he describes this ‘dread lake’ on the Isle of Skye as a fractured landscape where it ‘Seems that primeval earthquake’s sway / Hath rent a strange and shattered way / Through the rude bosom of the hill / And that each naked precipice / Sable ravine, and dark abyss / Tells of the outrage still’. More than 200 years on, little has changed. Loch Coruisk – in Gaelic, Coire Uisg, the ‘Cauldron of Waters’ – lays at the foot of the gnarly Black Cuillin mountain range and appears like creation ground-zero: raw and rugged, no softened edges, little influence of man.

The traveller and geologist John MacCulloch, who visited Loch Coruisk in the same year as Scott, remarked on the silence, the starkness and the effect it had on local people. While at the loch, MacCulloch left an experienced seaman to look after his party’s boat but the man became so terrified at being alone that he ran away, preferring to risk the destruction of the vessel rather than stay on his own in this haunting spot.

Indeed, legends circle here. As Scotland’s Loch Ness has its monster, Coruisk has its own creature of the deep. It’s said a kelpie lives here, one of the shapeshifting, horse-like water-demons of Scottish folklore. Although kelpies can assume human form, they often appear as lost ponies; the only signs giving away their spectral nature are their eternally dripping manes and backward-facing

Where? Isle of Skye, Scotland What? Breathtaking lake, with natural drama and supernatural inhabitants

Above: LochCoruisk_View hooves. Kelpies have, they say, the strength of ten or more horses; their sonorous whinnies echo right around the mountains. They are devilish too, prone to coaxing victims onto their backs before plunging them into a watery grave and, in grimmer cases, throwing their entrails back onto shore.

At a time when many people lived by the coast but were unable to swim, these drag-you-to-the-deep steeds were a mystical manifestation of the communal fear of water, a terror felt so keenly it took on its own form, and became culturally ingrained. And why not a horse? When the surface of a loch whips into white-tipped waves – like the flailing manes of stampeding stallions – a waterhorse might have seemed an almost logical conclusion.

Coruisk is also a place of inspiration. It was here that one of Scotland’s best-known songs was born. A lady called Annie MacLeod was crossing Loch Coruisk when the oarsmen started singing the traditional Gaelic shanty, ‘Cuchag nan Craobh’ (the Cuckoo in the Grove). She remembered the tune and, in the 1870s, married with Sir Harold Boulton’s words, it became the anthemic ‘Skye Boat Song’, which recounts Bonnie Prince Charlie’s sea escape after his defeat at Culloden in 1746.

The easiest way to reach Coruisk is still by boat, a spectacular sail from the coastal village of Elgol up Loch Scavaig, sharing the water with seals and porpoises. From the jetty, it’s a short walk along the River Scavaig, the short stream that separates freshwater Loch Coruisk from the sea. Around Coruisk itself, the mountains loom angrily above the tufty grass and ebony water. A hut, built in memory of two climbers who died on Ben Nevis, is the only sign humans have been here before. Maybe the kelpies like it that way... n

Above: LochCoruisk-Ferry Below: LochCoruisk-Memorial Hut

EMERGENCY APPEAL TO HELP SUPPORT OUR CARE HOME STAFF AND RESIDENTS

The Little Sisters of the Poor is a charity committed to supporting the needs of vulnerable older people, by providing a caring home with safe accommodation, respite provision, and palliative end of life care. In these unprecedented times, our staff and volunteers are going above and beyond to make sure our high quality care continues. However, due to the COVID-19 lockdown measures, our care homes are finding the current economic climate increasingly more demanding. Visitation restrictions and event cancellations have had a massive impact on the donations we rely on to help fund our increasing running costs. In response to the pressures faced by our Homes, we are appealing for your urgent support to help us meet the ever-evolving needs of our Sisters, staff and residents. Please visit www.littlesistersofthepoor.co.uk/donate-here/ and make a secure online donation to help us to continue to provide safe, affordable care to older people in need. You can make this Christmas extra special for all our residents, who have endured so much during this difficult year. Thank you so much.

Registered Charity No. 234434 (England & Wales)

Little Sisters of the Poor

2a Meadow Road, London SW8 1QH Tel: 020 7735 0788 www.littlesistersofthepoor.co.uk