Different Different Drummer Drummer Literary Magazine Literary
Magazine 2016-17
“Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed and in such desperate enterprises? If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.� Henry David Thoreau
3 Different Drummer
Editors Judah Kalb Phoebe Kim Mary Schrader Li-Anne Wright Staff Michelle Martinez Catherine Trusky Advisor William Schrader Art Credits Front Cover by Mia Look Back Cover by Sarah Ferriter Inside Covers by Rahel Ware Inside Sketches by Li-Anne Wright Inside Photos by Anna Cobb
4 Different Drummer
Table of Contents
Work
Author
Page Number
The World
6
Adeline’s Goldfish
Ali Porterfield
7
The Daily Routine
Cole Fish
9
Packed
Noah Van Hook
10
Spill
Maddie Wiener
13
When They Wake Up
Gabriela Warner
16
(Binary Title)
Judah Kalb
20
30 mg
Delaney Tallett
24
Scarecrows
Jakob Ware
28
Utopia
Jerry Cai
33
The Escape
36
I Am For The Entertainable
Haze Nguyen
37
Night
Mary Schrader
42
Mr. Universe
Weston Barker
43
Colors
Ali Porterfield
47
The Tether
52
The Farmer, My Father
Li-Anne Wright
53
Boy Meets Evil
Anaies Gibson
54
Love Like Fire
Alexandra Barfield
56
We’re Waiting
Anonymous
66
Richard Gao
69
Ode to Mom’s Soup Dumplings 5 Different Drummer
The World
Art is an exploration of the horrors of reality...
6 Different Drummer
Ali Porterfield Adeline’s Goldfish
Adeline was a smoker. She smoked
gas station where she bought all of her
exactly one pack a day, every day, and
cigarettes and a small grocery were on the
she had done so for as long as she could
way to the Waffle House where she worked,
remember. The faded floral wallpaper in
and that was the only trip she made, back
her apartment was so saturated in cigarette
and forth, back and forth. The only time
smoke that the landowner, who never said
that she left the small town that she lived in
a word to anyone about anything, had told
was to go to some family event, and even
Adeline that she would need to buy new
then, she only went if it was incredibly
wallpaper when she moved out. After a
important. “Incredibly important” had
brief moment of paralyzing shock (which
only consisted of three things so far: her
was much like that of a person whose
sister’s wedding, her sister’s divorce party,
long-dead relative has appeared on their
and her sister’s wedding (again). The
doorstep), Adeline had promised to do so,
second wedding, which Adeline was sure
if only because she could think of nothing
was going to devolve to a divorce party
else to say. Upon his departure, Adeline
sometime soon, hadn’t been nearly as
decided that the only solution to this
bad as the first. Her sister sent her home
conundrum was to simply never find a new
with a little goldfish, who had been a table
apartment, since Adeline was a woman of
centerpiece. Adeline found it in herself to
her word (and a woman who didn’t have
stop at PetSmart, where she picked up the
the slightest clue as to where wallpaper
most generic, inexpensive fish food that
could be found).
she could find. She stationed the goldfish
and its plastic plant on her grimy side table
Adeline didn’t get out much. The
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Ali Porterfield
(after clearing it of unopened mail from the
whole world. It had its plastic plant and its
Mesozoic Era).
glass pebbles and sixteen pellets a day.
The goldfish became a part of
It was a soggy summer evening.
her routine. Eight fish pellets before her
Adeline sat at the cluttered table, rocking
leftover pizza breakfast and morning
gently back and forth on uneven chair legs.
smoke, eight fish pellets after her fresh
She pulled out her omnipresent lighter and
pizza dinner and evening smoke. Adeline
lit a cigarette, staring through her grimy
didn’t give the little fish a name, but it
window at the array of monotone cement
seemed plenty happy to her, and she rather
buildings. In the distance, she could spot
liked the little flash of gold, nibbling at
the yellow sign of the Waffle House where
the surface of the water every morning. It
she worked.
was a little glint of sunshine in her sky of
suffocating gray clouds.
goldfish. It swam in its loop. Adeline
shook her head and furrowed her brow.
Adeline was sorry for the poor
She turned her attention to her
thing, though; it had a tiny bowl, and all it
How miserable that poor fish must be,
did was swim lap after lap. Nothing in the
swimming laps in its never-changing
goldfish’s life ever changed. Sometimes it
world. Adeline sucked in a lungful of
got to sit in a plastic baggie for a while so
smoke, holding it for a moment before
that Adeline could change its water, but she
exhaling with a deep sigh. How miserable
remembered to do so sporadically (at best).
that life must be.
That little monogrammed centerpiece bowl from her sister’s wedding was the fish’s 8 Different Drummer
Cole Fish The Daily Routine I swim the same way everyday Going past my neighbors As they swim around their coral home Past the crab as he emerges from his shell I move past the snail as it crawls along Leaving his tracks over where his previous tracks were We all do the same old dance And are all afraid to take a chance I see the starfish on the same rock as always I keep swimming and see a whale I hide behind the rock of the starfish A routine the I am used to The whale goes by I greet the same plankton on his fin I always see I decide to swim to the surface I see the chaos of the world above water I see creature floating on something with strings coming off I see seagulls fighting over a fish on a rock I duck back down into my routine Before the seagulls can spot me I keep going and say hi to my turtle friends As they head for an area that they always go 9 Different Drummer
Cole Fish
I see a group of clown fish Then pause and listen to the same jokes they always tell I laugh though not amused to make them smile like normal Then I continue on my daily journey Then I spot a shark who I knew I would see I dash for a hole but he knew my route He swallows me up and I feel at peace I finally escape the daily routine
10 Different Drummer
Noah Van Hook Packed let me think on my own terms i know you did all you could for people who need much more than i but really just stop talking about it i get it okay but for me this matters even more than all else you can tell me about i dont care about the man that killed his wife and kids after a vision from god or that kids sleep without heat or that men in other countries hold people as slaves for sex and or labor all that matters for me now is what i experience myself is it too much for me to ask you for some sympathy when my own life is just a little worse than it usually is more stressful than it usually is when things dont go the way they are planned im sure the kids going dinnerless 11 Different Drummer
Noah Van Hook
are used to that life by now i am sure they arent as duressed as i am right now even if i am not in any sort of danger even still this sucks alright and i want you to at least listen to me when i vent to you you dont have to be such an asshole god
12 Different Drummer
Maddie Wiener Spill
Elliot was sitting in the alcove
pockets.
above his parents’ bedroom, a little corner
where he could look out the window at
the floor below. It was Sunday morning and
the street below. His brain felt tiny in his
they were getting ready to go to Sunday
head, like it was hiding in a cave. It felt
school. His parents were fighting again,
like the metal ball in one of those ball-in-
he was pretty sure. Sometimes they would
a-maze puzzles, and you have to tilt the
yell or hit something and the sound would
entire puzzle back and forth and all around
come up and he could feel it in the floor.
just to get the little ball where you want it
It didn’t feel good to hear them fighting
to go. And there was a lot of space, so it
but it felt good to know they were there.
could move around, but it was very lonely.
But also it didn’t feel like much at all if he
There was room for at least five other
tried really hard. He caught back up with
brains in there. It was a tiny little thing that
his eyes and looked down at the two girls
tumbled around all day, like when you put
playing on the street. They were kicking a
something in the dryer by itself so it will
soccer ball, they had blonde hair, and he
be done faster. He felt more like he was in
didn’t know them. They looked like they
his body than that he was his body. If you
were having fun but he felt very far away,
ever asked him how he felt he would tell
like he was watching a movie. And also his
you he felt like he was wearing his dad’s
parents were talking in the movie theater
suit jacket and the sleeves were too long for
so it was hard to focus on the girls. His
him, all the time, or he would say that if he
brain said goodbye to his eyes and walked
could find the words in those big deep suit
back over to his ears. It didn’t like what it
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He could hear noises coming from
Maddie Wiener
heard, so it walked over to an empty corner
the bucket in the middle of the table and
of his head and curled up there until they
started coloring in the picture of Jesus that
came to get him.
was the warm-up activity.
He woke up in the middle seat of
More of the Sunday school kids
the family minivan, his parents not talking
showed up and Ms. Monihan kept talking
and both getting out of the car. They were
and it started to get very loud. His brain
at Sunday school. His dad walked with
went to his eyes to focus on the drawing
him over all the dry crunchy leaves on
but the room was very bright from these
the ground and Elliot noticed how much
bright tube lights on the ceiling, so he
louder his dad’s footsteps were than his and
sat down in the corner of his head and
how many more leaves he could crunch at
watched himself draw. But the sounds still
one time. He tried to take bigger, stronger
came through his ears and they echoed
steps to make it even but it didn’t work.
around like if you were in a cave by the
When they got to the big red door he put
ocean.
his hand on his shoulder and Elliot knew
that meant to go inside.
with the little cups of grape juice and he
knew probably Ms. Monihan was trying
He sat down at his circle table
Oliver was standing next to him
with the plastic chairs. He didn’t know if
to tell him something. Somebody must be
they had assigned seats or not but everyone
yelling because he could feel it in the chair
sat in the same place everyday, even though
a little bit. His brain must have decided
he couldn’t remember if Ms. Monihan ever
something without him because now
told them to. He grabbed a red crayon from
Oliver had spilled the grape juice all over 14 Different Drummer
Maddie Wiener
Elliot’s shirt. It was too much. It made him feel itchy and fast and overwhelmed and like there was something gross stuck in his mouth. He took the red crayon and pushed it into Oliver’s hands and kept pushing and pushed him onto the ground and kept pushing the crayon like he was trying to push it through. As he was sitting on top of Oliver who he had pushed to the ground with a crayon, the sounds around him got less echoey and clearer and the noticed how bright the room was and how fast he was breathing. His face was red and hot, his brain was swelling, like a flower blossoming or a bomb in slow motion, and for the first time his brain felt big enough to fill his head, like a bag of popcorn that just got finished in the microwave.
15 Different Drummer
Gabriela Warner When They Wake Up
The yelling. Mommy and Daddy
It started out quiet, like it always did, and
were always yelling. It kept me up at night
then it got louder. I heard Daddy’s voice
and I couldn’t sleep. I tried telling them
first. He was always the first to raise his.
once that I couldn’t sleep with them so
Mommy soon followed with just as much
loud. They told me to close my door. But
loudness. I wondered what they were
even with the door shut I could still hear.
arguing about now; maybe other adult
The yelling went on all night. It never
things. I always heard them yelling about
seemed to stop until the morning when
money. I tried to tune out their voices. It
they left the house. I stayed home, though.
never worked. When it didn’t work I always
Mommy said one day I could leave the
went into my closet. I had a pillow in there
house to go to school. But I was too young.
so I could sleep. It was quiet in there. But
also dark. I kept a flashlight with me in case
I asked Mommy once what they
were arguing about. She told me it was
I got scared. I would turn on the flashlight
grownup stuff. She told me I wouldn’t
and make hand animals. Daddy taught
understand. I thought maybe it had to do
me how to do some when I was littler. I
with Grandpa dying. I heard them yelling
wondered if they were arguing about hand
about him once. I always knew he was old.
animals. Maybe they couldn’t decide which
He probably didn’t have a lot of time left,
one was their favorite.
whatever that meant. Mommy said it had
something to do with his heart. I thought
usually quieter. Not gone all the way,
maybe he wasn’t getting enough love.
but gone enough to help me fall asleep.
Last night was different. I was still able
They were yelling again last night.
In the closet the voices were
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Gabriela Warner
to hear their loud voices. Even under the
Mommy called it. It was in a fancy glass
big blanket I kept for safekeeping. I heard
with an ice cube. The bottle it came from
stomping and the front door slamming
was almost empty. I never saw it so empty
shut. I wondered who it was. Maybe it was
before. Daddy must have been really
Mommy. I always knew she liked looking
thirsty.
up at the stars at night. Maybe she wanted
to look at the constellations. I heard the
He didn’t answer. I tried again; maybe he
door open again after that; probably Daddy
didn’t hear me. He looked at me when
wanting to see the stars too. I wanted to see
I said it the second time. His eyes were
the stars as well. I crawled out of the closet
red. He looked weird. I guess he didn’t
to look out the window. I saw Mommy
get enough sleep. He stood up and he
and Daddy talking to each other under
almost fell over. He was wobbling all over
the stars. They looked angry. How could
the place. He pushed past me and never
anyone be so angry under the sky? I saw
answered my question. I turned to watch
Mommy start to walk down the road. That
him wobble up the stairs and I heard his
was normal. Sometimes she went on walks
bedroom door slam. He just needed to
after the yelling. She told me it was a way to
sleep.
clear her head. I smiled as I watched Daddy
come back inside. I knew Mommy would
around the house after that. I couldn’t find
come back. She always did.
her anywhere. Maybe she took the long
The next morning Daddy was
way home on her walk. But usually she
drinking the big kid drink. That’s what
came back in the middle of the night. I
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I asked him where Mommy was.
I went looking for Mommy
Gabriela Warner
opened the front door to look in the yard.
Mommy was quiet again. Daddy looked
Sometimes when Mommy had too much
angry. He never looked happy. Mommy
of the big kid drink I found her sleeping in
used to say it was because he didn’t like his
the yard. Maybe she was drinking it with
life. Maybe they were fighting because of
Daddy.
his life.
Before I could go outside Mommy
“Richard, please,” Mommy said
came in through the door. She looked sad.
quietly. She looked at me. I saw tears in her
She usually looked sad after she came back
eyes. “Not in front of Jonathan.”
from walking. Like she was crying.
Mommy?” I asked her. I walked forward to
She stomped past me and called
I was confused. “What’s wrong,
Daddy by his name - I wasn’t allowed to say
reach for her hand. “Why are you crying?”
it, Daddy got mad at me if I did. She ran up
the stairs the same way Daddy did, wobbly
Daddy said. His words were slimy, like
and weird. I heard their yelling again.
they always were when he drank the big
It didn’t usually go on in the morning. I
kid drink. He pushed me from Mommy
followed Mommy’s footsteps to their room.
and pressed the thing against her head.
I wanted to see if they were okay.
Mommy started to cry. Why was she
crying? Why was Daddy holding that
Mommy stood in front of Daddy.
“Get out of the way, Jonathan,”
He was holding something in his hand; I
thing?
remembered what it was. It was the thing
Mommy said to never touch. She said it
Daddy said. I listened.
was dangerous. He was pointing it at her.
“Close your eyes for me, son,” There was a boom followed by a 18 Different Drummer
Gabriela Warner
thud. It made my ears ring. I didn’t think it would be that loud. I wondered if I could open my eyes. I wanted to. But then I heard another boom and thud. It scared me. I thought I would ask Daddy what the sound was. But when I opened my eyes they were both on the ground. There was blood coming from their head. Mommy once told me that’s what happens when someone has a boo-boo. I went to get some bandaids for their heads. I got my favorite ones with the Star Wars characters on it. I put one on their arms. That’s usually where Mommy put the bandaid on me.
They were both sleeping.
Something I hadn’t seen them do in a long time. I poked Mommy to see if she would move. Then Daddy. I was happy that they could both finally sleep. I sat down on the ground beside them. I laid against Daddy. He never allowed me to unless he didn’t know. I would be there when they woke up. 19 Different Drummer
Like they always did.
Judah Kalb 01000001 01101110 01110011 01101100 01100101 01101001 01110011 I am nothing more than code, Ones and zeroes made manifest. My coding was completed September 22nd, 1999 Or at least that’s when the alpha was released, To be updated over time. You know how some programmers believe They code better when slightly drunk? My coder was well past that point. A few missed keystrokes “Whoops! He’s autistic, But that has some emergent features so let’s stick with it.
20 Different Drummer
Judah Kalb
Oh geez, I spilled my drink, Now he’s on the brink, Of bipolar disorder. But it’s ‘only’ type II,’ So I won’t do...” Anything Everything Determined by my mind and body Without consulting me “Whoa I added asthma, (That’ll be the least of his worries) I could probably fix it, But I’m really in a hurry. What’s this? Headmates? Eh, he’ll probably be pretty lonely, Plus he won’t notice, ‘Placid island’, ‘infinite sea’, All that jazz.”
21 Different Drummer
Judah Kalb
My identity was forged Without my consent And now I resent... Myself?
“I mean, I already made him autistic, Why not up the anxiety? So he’ll feel solipsistic, Like it’s not his society. I just gotta put this sucker in the compiler, Should I make the body his, theirs, or hers? I already said he; it’s not like it matters, It’s not like this isn’t going to be a disaster.” My hardware’s obsolete, My software’s incomplete, The charge will deplete, And I must admit defeat. My identity was forged 22 Different Drummer
Judah Kalb
Without my consent And now I resent... Myself? Anything Everything Determined by my mind and body Without consulting me I am nothing more than code, Ones and zeroes made manifest.
23 Different Drummer
Delaney Tallett 30 mg Doc, Please I don’t need no more pills I’m fine now I’ve gone down a dosage Perfect week - no panic attacks So please Doc, No more pills I take one every morning with a cup of joe Haven’t skipped a day in three weeks I’m finding ways to deal with my anxiety But I need to do it without help You see, Those pills make me hungry Hungry for food Hungry for feelings
24 Different Drummer
Delaney Tallett
Those pills make me restless Tossing and turning as I try to sleep Trying and testing my limits constantly I can’t take those pills no more Don’t down the dosage again Don’t up it either Let me dump those happy pills down the drain I can’t stand to pop one more in my mouth Not one more is goin’ down my throat Its numbing my soul, Doc Don’t you see I don’t feel a thing I can’t I stood in the middle of the road for an hour hoping to feel fear as cars rushed by me
I told my mom about my secrets hoping to feel sad when I looked her in the eye 25 Different Drummer
Delaney Tallett
I held my hands above the burning flame hoping to feel warmth in my now frigid soul Pills down the drain or I’ll die trying to feel something Your pills have cauterized my soul into an emotionless void I’ll sit in the dark And wait to feel tired I’ll stare into utter nothingness And wait to be bored Doc, I can’t even be bored anymore I can’t feel anything So, Doc, Wait! What are you doin’? Stop writing on that little white notepad. Don’t sign that. Please, Doc
26 Different Drummer
Delaney Tallett
30 miligrams What? I told you I don’t need no more pills Doc, Please No more pills No more frozen feelings No more numb nothingness I want to cry when I see my mom’s face I want to fear when I stand in the street I want to be so bored I watch kangaroos eat lettuce online Please Doc, I’m starvin’ here.
27 Different Drummer
Jakob Ware Scarecrows
A thinning line of black and
countrymen fell to the ground, unable to
brown moved across the snow covered
go on in the cold, and no one noticed when
ground. Booted feet, feet in shoes that
one of the riders on horseback stood over
had long since worn out and had begun
the downed scarecrow and give the fallen a
to come apart, crunched on the ground.
final ration of lead. They were used to this.
A few men groaned but most just stared,
Friends, family, neighbors….if they hadn’t
staring blankly at their feet or up at the sky.
died yet then they were slowly dying.
The men wore overcoats that had fallen
apart and been resewn far too many times,
dying scarecrows was Radnóti. Just like
coats that were a patchwork of other coats,
the rest of the haggard walking dead, his
coats that they’re coming apart at the edges.
cheeks were hollow and his clothes hung
The coats hung loosely over the thinning
from his frame. His eyelids drooped and
frames of the starving scarecrows who wore
his skin had taken a sickening straw-like
them, men who had labored for weeks in
palor. Unlike the rest however, his eyes still
the muds that came before the snow. None
glowed with a fierceness that showed that
of the men had been used to such labor,
the fire of life was still present within. He
most came from urban areas and, if only
raised his left arm to his chest as he walked,
war hadn’t broken out, would be working
slightly smiling as he was reassured by the
hard as grocers, editors, teachers, or, as
feeling of the bundle of paper scraps that
was in the case of the scarecrow who called
were inside his coat. Ever since he had been
himself Radnóti, as a poet.
taken away, away from his old life and away
from his wife and family, he had continued
No one took notice as their
In the center of the column of
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Jakob Ware
to write. The corners of his mouth turned
screeched the Lieutenant, spittle flying
slightly upward as he remembered some
from his sallow face.
of the letters he had written. Even though
Radnóti knew that he could never send the
the crack of a Luger firing.
letters away, he still felt that he was able to
communicate with Fanni.
and looked away. One scarecrow tried to
The words were punctuated with The scarecrows fell to the ground
run but was run down by the laughing Dearest Fanni!
Lieutenant who then fired the Luger twice
I hope you and your siblings are well.
more. Men in black, well kept woolen coats,
Though my condition and Lorsi’s hasn’t
descending upon the scarecrow, walking
improved we still--
among them and firing with their sidearms at random. Hardly anyone screamed, some
Radnóti’s mouth returned once
wept. Radnóti buried his head in his arms
more to a frown as he remembered.
and curled up, making himself as small of a
Lorsi.
target as he could. The man next to Radnóti
Lorsi!
did the same. Then there was a nearby
crack! and the man next to Radnóti gasped
Poor Miklos Lorsi! Lorsi the
violinist!
and reached down towards his leg, weakly He who was already taut, a string
drawing back his blood soaked hand. The
about to snap.
man began to whimper.
* * *
“Everyone down! Onto the ground!”,
are you hit Lorsi?”
29 Different Drummer
“Shh!”, hissed Radnóti, ”Where
Jakob Ware
“It went through! It went
and--”
through!” cried Lorsi softly, ”Through my
thigh!”
announced by the trotting of his horse.
“We’ll bandage it after but until
The Lieutenant’s arrival was
He stopped his horse next to two of the
then: shhhh!”
scarecrows, next to Lorsi and Radnóti.
* * *
The Lieutenant barked,”Stop!”
limper! That’s what we got here!”
The scarecrows stopped.
“Fifteen minute rest,” said the
He whispered sadly to Radnóti,”Oh God.”
“O-ho! What do we have here? A The light in Lorsi’s eyes went dim.
Lieutenant as he rode towards the back
of the column to talk with the other
and fired into Lorsi. With a chuckle he
horsemen.
holstered the weapon and trotted past on
his horse.
Radnóti sat on the ground with
The Lieutenant drew his Luger
several other of the scarecrows. He pulled
out a paper from his coat and began to
body all day if he could, he was only jolted
scribble, frequently losing hold of the
forth by one of the other scarecrows who
pencil in the cold.
grabbed him by the arm.
* * *
“Just keep going Lorsi. Only two more days
and we’ll see if we can return for him after
then we’ll be in Győr. We can try to sleep
Győr”.
away then.”
* * *
“I-I’ll try. We can try to find Janos
Radnóti would have stood by the
“Leave him! Recite the kaddish
A hand grabbed Radnóti by the 30 Different Drummer
Jakob Ware
back of his coat and lifted him up from the
Lieutenant kicked him in the stomach.
ground.
Radnóti dropped to the ground, gasping
“What….the f-fuck are you...d-d-
weakly as his chest heaved. The Lieutenant
doing?” stuttered the Lieutenant.
then punched him. And again. And again.
And again and again and again and again
The bitter odor of alcohol rolled
out of the Lieutenant’s face as he spoke.
and again until his fists were bloody and
His eye was wide and crazed. The eyepatch
Radnóti no longer moved. The Lieutenant
over his right eye had once been white but
reached for his belt, swore, and then
now it was black and brown with filth. He
stormed off.
had lost the eye in Yugoslavia, to a partisan.
That’s why the scarecrows had been taken
himself over to the crumpled up papers. As
to Yugoslavia, to dig fortifications to hold
his hands shook, he uncrumpled the paper.
Tito and his partisans at bay.
Reaching into his coat, the scarecrow
pulled out a wad of papers, one of many
“Writing, sir,” said Radnóti matter
Wheezing, Radnóti slowly pulled
of factly without a trace of fear even though
wads that were inside. He then gestured for
he knew very well in the depths of soul
another scarecrow, the same one who had
that the sentence would be among his last
told him to recite the kaddish. He lifted the
words.
papers up to the other scarecrow.
The Lieutenant wrenched the
“Take,” he wheezed, ”More...in my
wad of papers out of Radnóti’s hands,
coat. Come...back and---” he stopped as he
balled it up and threw it to the ground. As
began to cough.
Radnóti bent to pick the papers up, the
31 Different Drummer
The other scarecrow bobbed his
Jakob Ware
head in the wind, ”I will. And if I can’t, then others will for I will pass the word on.”
The Lieutenant stomped his way
back, pulling back the hammer of his Luger as he stomped. The other scarecrows scurried away from the downed scarecrow. The fallen scarecrow swore that he suddenly heard a soft melody of a violin. He remembered happier times and smiled.
The Lieutenant raised the Luger.
With thin cracked lips, Radnóti
smiled and shut his eyes.
32 Different Drummer
Jerry Cai Utopia Pristine houses, green lawns streets shine like linoleum, People not fighting over stuff like Middle East petroleum, Streets black, not red, because no one is patrolling them, And the cops cooperating with the people, the government is not controlling them Like a bigger brother to your siblings, not a wolf here for easy pickings Big Brother’s here to love you, he’s not here for disciplining. Pure white in the heart, his views aren’t dissident, There’s no fight in this part, not a single Islamic militant But rather as an Islamic compliment as an element to our sentiment Instead of sending them out, let them back into our settlement Don’t exclude anyone out like we did to the Puritans, As this is an experiment that we’re all living in Denying others unlike us as illegitimate, We call this Utopia and paradise, not an imprisonment. Utopia has no climate change or poverty, The only direction in Utopia is onward we go with the Flow like water in a stream, that is our liberty, No wars over blue gold, there isn’t any tragedy And flint becomes only known as stone that makes fire, Instead of the city with poisoned water that politicians, I mean liars Flood with folly policies, never fulfilled but only falsities. 33 Different Drummer
Jerry Cai
Turned the land of red, white and blue with the original colonies Into a board of Monopoly played like we’re an oligarchy. The sight of anarchy overrides our idealistic Utopia A one where missiles of uranium and plutonium, Aren’t touched by reckless men standing on the podium A Utopia where teacher pay isn’t a meager spray of Our perfume bottle of a budget, but is allocated To provide people that spend their day in a class to educate A group of seedlings that one day will become immaculate. And perpetuate our technology and study our philosophy And in Utopia, everyone succeeds and there’s no need For a system to weed out weak seedlings and nobody is without nourishment, No hunger is our encouragement. For a new land emerging into a new day With happiness of the sun manifested in its rays. People wake up to the sight of blue skies, Birds chirping as they make their nests in pine. The green everyone sees is not that in fat stacks, But each green hand that is attached to another arm untouched by axes Protected from other human attacks, they’re at peace at last. Those veins of blue that streak across the land 34 Different Drummer
Jerry Cai
Not bleeding red from humans, untouched by man’s hand, But feed into the lake of life, with glistening sand surrounding Like a gold lining around, 24 Carat. Not a speck of pollution no matter how long you stare at. But if you raise your head and glance around It’s a barren wasteland with plastic littered on the ground, Trees replaced by skyscrapers and towns Bird chirps replaced by the sound, of F-15s roaring across the blue sky, Gliding off to the horizon, they have a war to fight. But looking back at the sea, there’s the putrid smell of a 3 year old’s body half alive, Washed up on the shore as the sand scrapes against his side, he has already died; Like the hope of a perfect Utopia in a world of imperfect humans, Left there before your eyes, no longer alive.
35 Different Drummer
The Escape
Art is an exploration of the horrors of reality... how to be brave in the face of them...
36 Different Drummer
Haze Nguyen I Am For The Entertainable What you see, me, my ability, my reach Goes beyond what you think me to be. I am the parasite planted inside a light-up-screen host. I crawl through the minds of the young and impressionable I am formidable, powerful, invisible. I am brought to life by the hands of adults. I am built like a Build-A-Bear. To care, to control Created through thoughts, I am the one who consoles. Fair game to me, I am the puppet strings attached to a new generation. With electronical persistence, my presence, a permanent resident. I latch onto the fresh juvenile minds, Defenseless to a new cruel world. Like a snail without its shell desperate for protection They cling to anything that’ll let them
37 Different Drummer
Haze Nguyen
Like candy, sweet, but sticky, tricky With Mickey on TV I convince you A song, a tune, a rhyme, A thirty minute show from time to time. I am the poison carried through your system From your iDevice, through the headphone jack, To the disappearing earbuds beneath your t-shirt hem, Lyrics soaking, your brain bathing In a sea of alternate facts I deliver, I am carried, I am received. I am this muggle world’s Peeves, causing trouble, I get away with it, no Bloody Baron to scare me with. I am the storyteller of the world today. My voice an intangible whisper, sitting on the shoulders of the ignorant. With the weight of an elephant, I am unremovable. Getting rid of me, unachievable.
38 Different Drummer
Haze Nguyen
I am the bias that crawls through the news Reporting alliance after alliance. I tell you who to trust I am your right hand man, a friend. I reshape views In my hands they mold like Play-Doh, Malleable. I am your moral compass coated in white Something no one knows they should fight. I am the thoughts behind your every decision, I am the opinion in your voice when you speak. Created with images, picture this: Bull’s eye target on mind of the weak, The entertainable, I convince the inconvincible.
39 Different Drummer
Haze Nguyen
I am water from the tap dripping, dripping, and I won’t stop flowing. I am so small, but I collect. My power is built from time. I am a mere distraction plaguing the brains of the absent minded. Your mouth teaming with lyrics without knowing the meaning it’s demeaning. The punch I pack impacts those with access. Those whose faces light up in the dark of night, your Instagram feed, like weed, you’re hooked. I am the influence who you surrender to. I reside in the body of youth, again with my untruths. I direct incorrectly.
40 Different Drummer
Haze Nguyen
I defame your fresh, new walls with my graffiti I retrain you who to trust based on skin color, who to lust after. I am the roots of a tree planted in this tech savvy industry a society of full dependency on me. Ditch encyclopedia for Wikipedia because I am the modern day media.
41 Different Drummer
Mary Schrader Night The sky once dark now bright, With the stars celestial light. And as the lofty moon drifts by the sleepy world below, She smiles most benevolently where’er she choose to go. Thus in their perfect dance they keep, The glorious beauty while we sleep. So the long slowly night drifts away, Into the rosy break of day.
42 Different Drummer
Weston Barker Mr. Universe
Time whistled as it flew, deafening
had studied Io extensively in school, and
the students’ ears to the lecture and instead
he could still remember poring over prose
directing their attention to the clock face
and lecture transcripts, squeezing every
at the back of the hall. The professor gazed
ounce of meaning out of the text like an
at it momentarily, his eyes adjusting to its
automaton reading its own manual.
pale blue surface amidst the stark lighting
of the lecture hall, and he used his finger
veneration for the man, and it was no
to draw a short line in his discussion
secret. He could only imagine how the
notes. The professor proceeded to dismiss
students perceived his sullen disposition,
the students, who filed out of the space
no doubt laughing to themselves whenever
automatically. When the doors slid shut
the telltale spark of Io lit up his eye,
after the last of the students had exited, the
cahooting with one another and conspiring
professor unconsciously pressed his finger
against him. The professor looked around,
against a small button on the podium and
realizing the growing darkness, and
retrieved his coat.
he attempted to clear his mind of such
insecurities, focusing instead on Io. Closing
The professor’s mind was too
The professor had a great
busy to observe the lights dimming around
his eyes slightly, the professor slowed his
him as he walked to the door. All he could
pace, recalling Io’s meaning of life. The
really think about was Io. Io. Io was one
professor chided himself, noting that one
of the professor’s favorites, a pioneer of
should not use possessive language when
the post-existentialist movement and the
referring to ideas. It was the meaning of
finder of the meaning of life. The professor
life, not Io’s meaning of life.’ However, the
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Weston Barker
argument had been crafted by Io, and just
reading some of the existentialists like
as a mathematician should be recognized
Sartre and Camus, although it had only
for a formula, a logician should be
been in short excerpts as he had never
recognized for a philosophical truth, even
really developed a taste for writing
if the act of producing a philosophical truth
published before the year 2100. From what
is simply exposing a pre-existing condition
he had read the professor could very well
of nature. The professor resigned.
understand the dilemma Io must have
been in, as the nihilistic and existential
According to Io, the meaning of
life was dependent upon the statement
schools of thought would have no doubt
that ‘existence precedes essence’. The
overwhelmed any attempt to create a
existentialists had coined the phrase, citing
solution for a matter which was already
that before anyone exists as a title or social
solved.
position, such as a waiter or a leader, they
exist as a human being. The phrase was
a novel idea would never be accepted, so
then used to support the notion that life
he found his answer in the existentialist
was meaningless, as it is extrapolated to
rhetoric, using their phrase against them.
mean that any and all meaning that can
He argued that if existence truly preceded
be given to life is given by society. Society
essence, then before you exist as a human
and its values are subject to the time and
being you exist as molecules, and before
prevailing culture in which they exist, so
you exist as molecules you exist as atoms,
then any meaning or ‘essence’ of life is also
and before you exist as atoms you exist as
subjective. The professor could remember
indiscriminate subatomic matter- matter
But Io was clever. He knew that
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Weston Barker
which is identical to everything and
there was no meaning, taking refuge in
anything around you. Because of that, Io
the cold but familiar area of nihilism. But
reasoned that everyone exists at the most
Io had persevered. He had initially stated
basic level as a projection of the universe,
that the ultimate meaning of the universe
and that giving a compilation of subatomic
was to exist, but when confronted with the
matter the title of human being is the same
answer’s nihilist implications, he found one
as giving a human being the title of waiter.
of the most peculiar solutions. Io said that,
Io had effectively made the question ‘what
in order to exist, the universe must create
is the meaning of life’ synonymous with
life to perceive it so it can exist to create life
‘what is the meaning of the universe’.
to perceive it and so on. It was a beautiful
The professor stopped, noticing that he was
paradox- an infinite regression of logic in
in almost complete darkness- illuminated
which life’s purpose was to perceive and
only by the soft blue light coming from
give validation to a universe which was
the clock at the opposite end of the room.
synonymous to the life itself. The professor
The professor began walking again towards
thought it was beautiful.
the door. He reasoned that Io must have
The meaning of life was to live.
experienced a great deal of trouble coming
The simplicity of the answer never
up with the next part of his argument. If
failed to excite a deep passion within the
the professor had been asked what was
professor, as if he had stared into the face of
the meaning of the universe, the meaning
God and seen his own reflection. Because
of everything, before having ever read Io
that was it. If one replaced the word
he would have probably concluded that
‘universe’ with ‘God’…
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Weston Barker
The door slid open in front of the
professor, and the light from the adjacent corridor washed over his face. He gazed at it momentarily, his eyes adjusting to its stark luminescence and he turned, half gazing out into the darkness of the lecture hall. In the spirit of Io, he whispered ‘I am God.’
No, the professor thought, that’s
not quite right.
‘I am the universe.’
The professor chuckled, and the
door slid shut behind him, leaving the clock to project its pale blue glow out into the darkness.
46 Different Drummer
Ali Porterfield Colors
Alejandro hated Texas. It wasn’t
to “get the hell over it” and to “come down
for any of the usual reasons; the accent, the
to visit for Christmas, or else!” Alejandro
people, the fact that they wanted to secede.
wasn’t intent on figuring out what the ‘“or
He hated it because all of the stupid traffic
else” was, and he had wrestled his young
lights were turned sideways - at least, where
son into the backseat, wrapped a few last-
his mother lived, they were. He didn’t really
minute presents, and taken off. Normally,
care if it was a statewide thing; all he cared
little Mateo would be yapping his head off
about was that his mother had chosen to
and eating potato chips with his mouth
live in some old, white neighborhood in
open, but he knew better than to do that
Texas where all of the traffic lights were
in Texas. He had learned that lesson when
tipped over when Alejandro couldn’t tell
he was very small, even smaller than he
the difference between green and red.
was now: being obnoxious in Texas was
not something that his dad was going to
His mother told him that she
wanted to be close to Mexico, for when
tolerate.
her brother finally made it over the border.
Alejandro knew that he wasn’t coming
ahead of him. He couldn’t tell at all whether
over anytime soon, but he didn’t have the
it was green or red. There were no other
heart to tell his poor mother that. He did,
cars in the intersection that he could see,
however, have the heart to tell her that all
though, so he decided that it was better to
of the tickets he was getting for running
go now than when a car showed up, and
red lights were going to make him go
he eased off the brake. The dented once-
broke. She told him, in her typical manner,
white car slipped through the intersection
47 Different Drummer
Alejandro stared at the traffic light
Ali Porterfield
and safely to the other side. Alejandro let
out of the crappy speakers. He reached out
out a rough sigh. If he remembered right,
and slapped the radio off. All he wanted for
that was the last traffic light before he got
Christmas were right-side-up traffic lights.
to his mother’s house. The ugly monotone
With a sigh, he took a final left turn into his
Christmas decorations, which Alejandro
mother’s neighborhood.
knew were meant to be red and green,
weren’t half as bad as the sideways lights.
drifted up from the backseat. Alejandro
nodded, guilty. It wasn’t Mateo’s fault that
Normally, Mateo would beg
“Can we talk now?” Mateo’s voice
his father to turn on the radio. Instead,
his father was colorblind. The little boy
in Texas, the car was unnaturally silent.
wasn’t, and his favorite color was the green
Alejandro had been too buried in his own
that Alejandro couldn’t see. He drew his
frustration to notice, the white noise of his
father picture after picture in forest green
internal monologue (which was something
crayon. Alejandro didn’t have the heart to
along the lines of “oh my god, what fucking
tell him that green wasn’t really green to
color is that”) buzzing in his ears at all
him, and he accepted the drawings with
times, but now that he could relax a little
bright smiles. The fridge back home was
bit the quiet was suffocating. He pressed
plastered with them; even Alejandro’s
the button to turn on the radio. Instead of
mother’s fridge was covered in green grass
the pop station that would have played at
and green trees and even one sheet of paper
home, Alejandro found himself assaulted
that Mateo had colored entirely green for
by some kind of country adaption of All
no apparent reason.
I Want For Christmas that echoed tinnily
“Yeah, buddy, we can talk. Are you 48 Different Drummer
Ali Porterfield
excited to see Nonna?”
before she was outside, the screen door
“Yeah, but what I really want is
It was only a couple of seconds
for it to be Christmas today! I can’t wait to
slamming into the wall from her dramatic
open all of my presents!” Mateo clapped in
entry. “Nonna!” Mateo wailed, and he
the backseat, and Alejandro didn’t have to
threw himself into her arms. She positively
glance at the rearview mirror to know that
beamed.
his son was bouncing up and down in his
seat. Christmas was his favorite holiday by
Nonna was tiny, and Mateo was a chubby
far; he liked the green and the presents. It
kid, but she spun him in a circle like he
was Alejandro’s least favorite, but Mateo’s
was as light as a feather. She smiled at
enthusiasm never failed to get him a little
Alejandro over Mateo’s shoulder. “Alé, baby,
more into the holiday spirit.
come on inside. I have a present for you.”
Alejandro laughed and pulled
“Aww, Mateo! You’re so big now!”
Nonna spun and walked into her
into his mother’s driveway. Almost
home, not bothering to check whether
before the car was fully stopped, Mateo
or not Alejandro was following. She
was unbuckled and out on the concrete,
chattered away with Mateo about how the
sprinting for the front door of the squat
second grade was going instead. Alejandro
yellow house. Alejandro couldn’t help but
dumped the presents and the luggage by
smile as he grabbed the luggage and the
the front door, slipping off his shoes to
presents from the trunk, slamming it shut
reveal the Christmas socks that Mateo
and following in his son’s footsteps towards
had picked out for him. Alejandro rather
his mother’s home.
hated them, but Mateo had insisted, and
49 Different Drummer
Ali Porterfield
Alejandro could never say no to his son’s
tomorrow.”
puppy eyes.
her hands like Mateo. “Open it! Come on,
Nonna led the way into the
“No, baby,” Nonna said, clapping
living room, where she had decorated
rip the paper off!”
a Christmas tree with ornaments and
ribbons and lights. Alejandro tried not to
as he tore the paper away. Underneath
cringe. It looked awful - at least, it did to
was an ambiguous brown cardboard box.
him. The whole thing was almost the same
He tore off the packing tape and reached
color, an ugly beige-like tone. Mateo liked
inside. From underneath the packing
it, though, and he clapped his hands from
peanuts, Alejandro unearthed a pair of
his place on Nonna’s hip. “Nonna, do I get a
square-rimmed glasses.
present too?”
didn’t have vision problems. He didn’t even
“No, baby, you’ll get to open yours
Alejandro couldn’t help but laugh
“What are these?” Alejandro
tomorrow on Christmas day. Your papá
wear reading glasses. Nonna ignored his
gets his early, because I just couldn’t wait!”
confusion.
Nonna leant down and picked up a present
“Come on, Alé, put them on!”
from under the tree with her free hand. It
Alejandro sighed, wondering how
was striped white and green, or white and
he always ended up being the one bossed
red - Alejandro couldn’t tell. He took the
around, and slipped the glasses onto his
present from his mother’s hand.
face.
“Are you sure you want me to
open this today? I can certainly wait until
He almost fell over. There was
a whole new world on the other side of 50 Different Drummer
Ali Porterfield
the glasses. The tree was two different
along with the green grass and the green
colors, two awe-inspiring different colors.
trees. There were drawings of Mateo and
Alejandro spun in a slow circle. Everything
Alejandro holding hands, and one of a
looked different. Gone was the monotone
green hippo. Alejandro felt his heart stutter
beige of all of the Christmas decorations;
in his chest. So this is what Mateo sees.
in its place were two colors that he couldn’t
even begin to describe. He stared down at
mean to upset you.” Alejandro turned
the socks Mateo had picked out for him.
to see Nonna with her hand on his arm,
They were wonderful. Mateo had been
looking worried. With a start, he realized
right.
that tears were dripping down his face.
All at once, Alejandro
“Alé, baby, are you alright? I didn’t
He shook his head back and forth at his
remembered the drawings that Mateo had
mother.
made that Nonna kept up on her fridge.
He stumbled into the kitchen. The hand
he meant it.
towels weren’t a yellowish beige anymore,
and neither were the skimpy Texan trees
now?” Mateo’s voice was small. He had
outside the window. Alejandro could pay
never seen his father cry before. Alejandro
little attention, though; all he could see
smiled down at him.
were his son’s drawings, in red and green,
all across the door of the fridge.
them.”
There was the sheet of paper that
had been colored in completely green, 51 Different Drummer
“It’s beautiful,” he whispered, and “Papá, can you see the colors
“Yes, Teo,” he said. “I can see
The Tether
Art is an exploration of the horrors of reality... how to be brave in the face of them... and why we bother to fight. 52 Different Drummer
Li-Anne Wright The Farmer, My Father Farmer hands, calluses rimmed like rice paddies, Grow me gently, pat the grass next to him (come sit), Press to the ground (come listen) To hear the plants stretch in the morning. Farmer back, wide, whiter Than his hands. Sweat drips off him like tears And rain. He carries me on his shoulders. Farmer arms, bullish, Wring me tight sometimes, unapologetically. (When I was a kid, I looked past The faraway hills, and I fantasized about being over there.) Here, the farmer smiles, wrinkles pulling up his jowls, Dried by the sun, And grows me gently.
53 Different Drummer
Anaies Gibson Boy Meets Evil My scene was not specifically this or that. It consisted of heaven shaking hands with the devil. A man is not to be cared for by such devil, living life in the midst of his devilish ways -But a man is to be hugged and kissed by a virgin woman. My scene not specifically that but this: For the realms of day and night emerge to turn beauty into the devil. And from devil to beauty. My scene was specifically a woman-- her virgin hand shook hands with the devil in order to hug and kiss a man. My scene is not a good one. For my scene is a man who mistook the devil for a woman. His inner realms, his day and night said to not hold her hand for love is the name of the devil. My scene was not specifically this or that but then again that and this, for it finished in death in the name of the devil.
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Anaies Gibson
As I’ve told you my scene, would you mind if I had a glimpse of yours? What are your inner realms? What is your day and night? What are you willing to sacrifice in order to hug and kiss a man? Family? Others? Yourself? What are you willing to do in order swat the devil’s hand away? I apologize, that is your scene not mine.
55 Different Drummer
Alexandra Barfield Love Like Fire I love you Damn… I’ve never admitted that to myself I still can’t even say it out loud But writing it down is enough, right? That’s a healthy way to deal. But I don’t want to deal I want to be with you… The day we met, I remember it as clear as can be. You were sitting across from me, a fire between us. I could barely see your face but just hearing your voice and the stories you told I knew. I knew we would be together someday. No. Someday Soon. Two weeks later Just two weeks, you came over to my house, I had a few people over and you weren’t even supposed to come but N texted me, “Hey I have this really awesome friend, can he come with?” I know he’s awesome I could already feel it. “Sure.” You were only there for an hour but I could feel the connection, the fire between us, just like before. I moved in closer, pulled your shirt. Just then, we were so close I could feel my 56 Different Drummer
Alexandra Barfield
skin burning. I looked into your eyes and down at your lips. In that exact moment, I was as rebellious as a little kid when their mom says “Don’t touch the stove, sweetie, it’ll burn you.” I had to touch the stove. I had to feel the warmth against my skin, even if it would burn me. Even if you would burn me. “I’m 17, is that going to be a problem?” You were 18 Birthday coming up soon The look on your face, of defeat. Like, Damn, she’s young but I want to be with her badly. I won. I felt the burning sensation against my lips. It was quick. At first. Then long and passionate. I knew there was about to be more. But how much more could I handle without falling too hard, without burning too badly? We went to your house I didn’t have my phone or anything Bad idea? Maybe No. Not a bad idea Even on that first night together, I felt so safe in your arms Good idea.
57 Different Drummer
Alexandra Barfield
“I definitely deserve to get your number now” Yes Hell yes He wants my number *types in a phone number* “Here you go” “Now let me take you home” *kiss goodnight* butterflies flying, wait, soaring in my stomach “I want to see you again” “Me too” We texted endlessly We snapped endlessly We laughed endlessly We were endless We still are It was a summer fling, but I know that it wasn’t. I still have a thing… We still talk and laugh and snap, we are still us. God That word Us 58 Different Drummer
Alexandra Barfield
What does it even mean? Can we even be an us? I want us to be an us. But I don’t think we can be. I’m with him and you’re with her. You know I love him, but it’s just not enough with him. I know you care about her but I know you’re not satisfied. What do we do about that? You are 162 miles away from me I can do the distance I can do it Can you? No… You can’t and you told me that Should I end things with him? Fuck. No. I love him I think. Well… I love being with him? How do you know that you love someone? Oh right I know that I love you And I love him, but not in the same way. I love being with him, but there is no heat. There is safety and warmth but none of the fire that was created between us. We aren’t as connected 59 Different Drummer
Alexandra Barfield
We aren’t as easy It’s easy, when I’m with you I mean. The connection just flows I am comfortable I am me When I’m with you But you’re 162 miles away from me so I can never be with you Love me Please? We talked about this all. You know I am into you. You even said you were into me. What the hell was I supposed to do with that information? “We can’t do long distance.” “I can. You are worth fighting for. I would drive thousands of miles if it meant I could be with you.” “No.” I never thought you could hurt me the way you did when you said that one word. No. No. No. No. 60 Different Drummer
Alexandra Barfield
No. No. It circled through my brain. Everything stopped. All I could hear was no. That’s not enough. We kept talking for hours, circling back to our feelings for each other with no resolution. No conclusion and no solution. We were both just emotionally fucked over and there was nothing we could do about it. Fuck. I got in my car and left. The second I got home I got a text “Hey babe, come over. I want to see you.” It was him. Fuck. I feel disgusting. I want to be with you, but I went to be with him. What would happen if I ended it with him? Would you feel like you could actually be with me? Would it make it more real? I think I’d be lost without him But I’m lost without you, even when I don’t have you. I’m just lost. I don’t think I’d be loved without him, I would lose friends, I would lose him, I would lose. Could you love me? Could you give me enough to be happy? I guess it doesn’t matter because I’m not even happy now so what would I lose out on. 61 Different Drummer
Alexandra Barfield
Well you, I guess, but I don’t really have you. The deed is done. He came over We cried We broke up. I texted you. I love you All I want is to lay in your arms and feel the warmth of your skin against mine. I’m sad because I hate hurting people. Not because I am the one hurting. I love yoI hate that about me I hate that I wasn’t hurting when I hurt him. That I couldn’t muster up the courage to give him the breakup he deserved. I couldn’t get the words out. I hate that. 62 Different Drummer
Alexandra Barfield
I hate me. I love yBut wait, I don’t. I am strong. I can admit when I need to make a change and dammit, I make that change. It hurt, but I am strong, I can handle anything no matter how hard and I did that. With him. And no it wasn’t for you. It was for me, so I could be happy and free. And boy am I free Free to be me I love Free to be with you Free to be the person I want to become, make the changes in the world I want to make and help people the way I want to help them, without being binded and tied down by love, or the potential for love. I love you But I love me more. I love m-
63 Different Drummer
Alexandra Barfield
It’s a new day, as is everyday, but today feels different. It is the day after I broke up with him. I feel like it was the right decision, but also did I just do it for you? So we could be together? Has this changed your mind?
All I can hear is when you told me that one word. That one crushing word that broke my spirits. No. No. No. No. No. No. Was this all for nothing? Did I ruin something good for something better that isn’t even in existence? No, it was the right decision for me. But a part of my heart is lingering on you. I’m moving on. Or at least I’m telling that to myself. The validity of it is still to be determined. I love me I am looking to my future. I am looking to the future of me, taking on NYC with a new perspective and no ties to my home. I am ready to build a new home and to learn and 64 Different Drummer
Alexandra Barfield
become a new person. A person that can live without you or him. A person that doesn’t need a “him” to be happy, but can be happy alone or with a “him”. Right now I’m still figuring that part out… The part about being happy with someone and also keep true to who I am. Right now I’m still figuring that part out… The part about who I am. Because let’s be honest, who the fuck am I? What do I want? What am I going to do with my life? Will I be happy? Will I survive this world and the reality that is my fate? I can’t answer all of these questions, but I know that one day I will. One step at a time I’m becoming truer to who I am, whoever that may be. As long as I stick to what makes me happy and stay honest with myself I will survive this. No matter how many more shots are fired. No matter how many flames exist between us.
I love you me. Damn…
65 Different Drummer
Anonymous We’re Waiting Who now waits? Now it is said that if you like something you go for it and be with it We’ve now been waiting for 8 months Probably even longer Are we really waiting? Waiting for what? For my parents approval? They let us go out, so aren’t we technically already together? Many people know of us, all except for my parents We’re supposed to wait till May 28th, 2017 But we’ve been going out since December 28th, 2016 I like that date, The 28th, it is between our birthdays that is why I like it Not just because we share the same month of birth but because it adds something to the list of things we have in common Our new favorite number You told me you liked me on July 18th, 2016 I don’t forget, I remember I can pretty much recall all the memories and difficult times we’ve been through I don’t forget, I remember
66 Different Drummer
Anonymous
There are 365 days in a year and I have spent with you 205 days adding one day to that number every day that goes by Are we really waiting? A million thoughts are about you each day That should mean something, right? That this thing we have is something serious A lifetime it seems like it now the time that we’ve been together I’ve said this before and written it too, pero tienes una sonrisa que parece las estrellas que alumbran la noche oscura Como es con solo unos tiempos de hablar llegaríamos aquí Are we really waiting? Who were you? Where were you? What made you then decide you would be the one to be with me for this long? To have been through so many struggles and by the end of the day say, “Baby, I love you” We’re high on this cloud by the deep affection we have for one another You once said that I was your achilles heel that was a little cheesy But that is just how are relationship is we make one another laugh with the cheesiest thing 67 Different Drummer
Anonymous
we can come up with Are we really waiting? Our love is the dancing sun in the sky Our love is the blooming flowers in May Our love is endless We lean in together on winter movie nights soaking up each other’s warmth Laughing silently in the movie theaters about funny jokes we tell throughout the movie We’re like that That odd couple that no one seems to get We question everyone by the things we do for one another You will go as far as five miles walking in the snow to have a snowball fight with me And I will go as far as driving for an hour and twenty minutes to drop you off your favorite summer snack We know now that we will do anything for another So are we really waiting?
68 Different Drummer
Richard Gao Ode to Mom’s Soup Dumplings Mom’s soup dumplings 一百分, 10/10 Coming out of the steamer looking 一百分, 10/10 Soft like a marshmallow, yet firm as a post. A true masterpiece, enough to make any guild man swallow their pride, after all it’s 一百 分, 10/10 The tingly aroma explodes on my nose like dynamite 一百分, 10/10 Every little dragon, fierce and mighty, gazes at me, Readying their fiery breath to blast at me full of flavor. It’s a call to arms, but no weapons shall be involved, This’ll just be hand to hand, just me and the dragon, nice… The look of each is fiery enough to make fire feel burnt, If I had to compare this to a party, it would be so turnt, The feel of each is as smooth as a dragon’s scales, They all seem peaceful, but inside tells a more violent tale, With every bite, it bites back, sending fiery pain through my nerves, The only way to calm down such a beast is using mankind’s most powerful creation, Chopsticks.
69 Different Drummer
Richard Gao
Every gold slab is worth millions, But man, a sliver of these dumplings would be worth more than all the gold slabs combined, The depths of each hollow pocket, you couldn’t get to the bottom even if you mined, For eternity, because the treasure just keeps growing and growing, Like the width of a river, which starts out streaming but becomes raging And the taste, OOOOOooooo the taste! It’s a breath of fresh air Gets my blood pumping, like the fresh prince of Bel-air. Here’s a good idea, sell it at the state fair, Customers, they’ll be rushing in, coming in from everywhere, Asking for the recipe, likes it’s the Krabby patty formula, Or the Coke recipe, as if it’s some crazy phenomena, BECAUSE IT IS! But every time someone asks for this recipe, And asks how to create this physical fantasy, My mom always says,”No, 这是一百分, 10/10 不可以.” pronunciations 一百分(Ee bai fen) 这是一百分(Zhe shi ee bai fen) 不可以(Bu ke yi)
70 Different Drummer
Colophon
The Chapel Hill High School literary magazine editorial staff compiled the 2016-2017 volume of Different Drummer with submissions from the school’s students. Writers receive feedback after their work is reviewed and remain anonymous upon the writer’s request, though anonymity is discouraged. All spreads were designed using Adobe Indesign CC 2015 on Macintosh computers. The font used throughout is Minion Pro, size 18 for titles and 10 for body text. This issue was printed in-house by Chapel Hill Graphic Design teacher Kevin Schoden. Layout designer: Judah Kalb, assisted by Garrison Reid Magazine Advisor: William Schrader
71 Different Drummer