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Annulments as Healing?

�henever people reach out to us in the tribunal in order to begin the marriage nullity process, we know they have been through a lot. No matter how a marriage broke down, or whose “fault” it was, or whether or not a declaration of nullity can ultimately be granted, the experience of a failed marriage is never easy.

Many times, people begin the marriage nullity process because they have been told it is a healing experience. But is this actually the case? Like so many things related to canon law, the answer is a qualified “yes and no.”

The Official Purpose of the Nullity Process To start with the “no” part of the answer, it’s important to keep in mind that the direct, official goal of the marriage nullity process is simply to seek the truth of what actually happened in a given case. In this way, the marriage nullity process is different from something like psychological treatment or pastoral counseling, where a person’s emotional well-being is meant to be the direct object of the process.

To give a very simplified explanation, the nullity process basically boils down to: the petitioner (i.e., the party seeking the declaration of nullity) approaches the tribunal, alleging that his or her marriage was invalid for a specific, recognized reason, such as one or both of the parties lacking the psychological capability to consent to marriage or a lack of a proper intention in marrying. Then, a good portion of the rest of the process is dedicated to the petitioner backing up this initial claim, through things such as naming witnesses who can corroborate their story or submitting relevant documents such as counseling records. At the end of the process, three canon lawyer judges go over all the assembled evidence and meet privately to discern whether the supposed cause of nullity is actually proven with moral certainty, or “beyond any reasonable doubt.”

Naturally, we make every effort to guide petitioners (and respondents, if they choose to participate) through the nullity process in a pastoral way. We provide qualified canon lawyers as advocates to assist the parties in assembling their case or their response, and we try to be as sensitive as possible when asking difficult questions or sharing hard news.

But, even so, the fact of the matter is that going through the marriage nullity process can be emotionally difficult at times. It can be challenging for some people to revisit old memories, and sometimes the whole process can feel daunting.

While nobody in the tribunal wants anyone who comes to us to be in emotional pain, we are limited in what we can do to help that pain specifically. For one thing, being a canon lawyer is different from being a mental health professional, so none of us here in the office are legally qualified to do any sort of psychological counseling! But also, in order to ensure the fairness of a nullity trial for everyone involved, judges do have to maintain an officially neutral stance, which generally isn’t compatible with substantial emotional and spiritual accompaniment.

We do strongly encourage people involved in the nullity process to find some outside emotional or spiritual support, such as a pastor or parish priest who knows their situation well, or possibly even through reaching out to a therapist. But the tribunal itself simply isn’t designed to meet these kinds of needs.

On the Other Hand… In the Gospel, Jesus tells us that “you will know

the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). So it is certainly our hope in the tribunal that by helping people to come to know the truth about what actually happened in their marriage, this knowledge of the truth will ultimately have a freeing, and thus hopefully also healing, effect.

Besides this, it’s good to remember that every person is different! As mentioned above, the nullity process is not directly oriented toward emotional healing, but some individuals may still subjectively experience this kind of personal healing as a beneficial “side effect” of the process.

Just as some people may find the experience of revisiting old memories challenging and painful, others may find that this experience brings them clarity and closure. Likewise, while some may find it difficult or slightly embarrassing to share private information with the tribunal, others may find it validating to have the Church listen to their story and take it seriously.

It’s also good to remember that just because an experience is painful, this doesn’t mean that it can’t also be healing at the same time. To use an analogy, people who undergo lifesaving surgery usually find the experience physically painful, but they know that the pain is temporary and also the cause of their greater well-being.

Why Is This Important?

It’s important for those

considering the process for a declaration of nullity to have an accurate idea of what it can be like as an emotional experience, first of all because challenging experiences are often harder than necessary when some of the more potentially difficult aspects come as a surprise. Naturally, we don’t want people to be shocked if they find that the nullity process is not always comfortable or easy for them. Even for people who don’t find the nullity process to be particularly emotionally difficult, having a clear idea of what can be expected can still help them approach the tribunal with more confidence. Additionally, understanding what the marriage nullity process really is—and is not—can help people determine whether this is truly the right option for them at a given point in their life. A person who is mainly seeking emotional healing is likely to find that they are better served by something like pastoral counseling, while a person seeking clarity about the truth of their marriage will know that approaching the tribunal is an appropriate choice of action. Ask a Canon Lawyer 13 Jenna Cooper Tribunal Coordinator & Judge jcooper@dowr.org Do you have a question about canon law that you would like to see answered here? Email jcooper@dowr.org with "Courier question" in the subject line. Annulments as Healing?

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