Gift of self, humility, vulnerability connect matrimony, Eucharist

When we speak of Catholic marriage, discussions frequently center on terms such as “love,” “faithfulness,” and “forever,” to name a few. While these characteristics are undoubtedly true, often overlooked is the nature of marriage within the context of the other sacraments. As Catholics, we frequently commit to memory a list of 7 along with definitions of each without necessarily contemplating their interconnectedness. Here, during this time of Eucharistic Revival, it seems fitting to briefly expound upon the relationship between marriage and the Eucharist, which Lumen Gentium tells us is the “fount and apex of the whole Christian life” (11). In its very nature, marriage is analogous to the Eucharistic Sacrifice in various ways. While certainly not exhaustive, below are specific ways in which marriage and the Eucharist are inextricably connected:

1. Total gift of self — During the Consecration, the words of Christ at the Last Supper are prayed by the priest, “This is my body given up for you.” In giving Himself to us, Christ holds nothing back. Thus, His sacrifice encompasses both the spiritual and the corporeal. His very body is bruised and broken for us at Calvary and His very body, blood, soul and divinity are poured out for us at each Mass. Likewise, in marriage, we give our whole selves to our spouses and this is particularly evident in the gift of our bodies. In his “Theology of the Body,” St. John Paul II speaks of the “spousal meaning of the body” in which the body is made for self-gift (186). In order for this gift to be authentic, it must encompass the totality of our bodily reality, including our fertility. If a couple is blessed with children, this is a further realization of self-gift insofar as birthing and nurturing children require a daily outpouring of bodily sacrifice. Just as Christ’s sacrifice bears fruit for the Church, so, too, do our sacrifices for the Domestic Church bear fruit for the whole of society.

2. Humility — Humility is defined by St. Bernard of Clairvaux as “a virtue by which a man knowing himself as he truly is, abases himself.” In the Eucharist, Christ, although sinless, humbles Himself to become present in the ordinary elements of bread and wine and to be truly present in all of the tabernacles of the world. He makes Himself radically available to us in a way that respects our free will, never forcing us, but inviting us to enter into a deeper relationship with Him. While self-abasement is surely not a popular concept in our culture of today, it remains nonetheless related to healthy self-knowledge which is a necessity for marriage. It precludes self-aggrandizement or self-gratification and instead leads to an attitude of self-service within marriage. When one recognizes his or her own lowliness before the Lord, he or she is able to exhibit greater patience with the faults of a spouse or children and to cultivate an atmosphere of love and warmth within the family.

3. Vulnerability — Writer, C.S. Lewis, in his “The Four Loves,” once observed that “to love at all is to be vulnerable” (169).

Indeed, vulnerability is perhaps as countercultural as humility and, yet, equally as vital for marriage. There is no greater image of vulnerability than that of Christ on the Cross and, yet, in humbling Himself to become present in bread and wine, Christ also makes Himself exceedingly vulnerable. There is always a possibility that the consecrated gifts of bread and wine may be received unworthily without the reverence which they are due.

Likewise, love within marriage always carries such a risk and, when entering into marriage, couples can never truly foresee every hardship to which they are saying, “yes.” Their pledge before God is one of genuine faith and an acknowledgement that without Him, they cannot endure the inevitable sacrifices of marriage. Their vows are a true act of love and vulnerability as they carry within them the hope that the couple will be able to partake of the necessary sacramental graces when hardships come.

During this National Marriage Week, may we be invited into a deeper relationship with Christ in the Eucharist and inspired to meditate on the significance of the Eucharist for our own marriages. As we do, it is my prayer that we may all allow the Eucharist to “strengthen our charity” and “revive our love” so that our marriages radiate the light of Christ to the world (CCC, 1394).

D’Averso-Collins is director of the diocesan Office of Family Life

Staff and students at schools in the diocese participated in a variety of activities in conjunction with the annual Catholic Schools Week. Above left and middle, Christian Charity Sister Maria Angeline talks about religious life and vocations to second- and third-graders and Father Jay Alquiros answers questions from kindergarteners at St. Francis of Assisi School, Metuchen. Above right and second from above left, students and staff at Immaculata High school, Somerville, compete in a volleyball match. Right, second from above, and left, third from above, students at Saint Joseph High School, Metuchen, compete in dodge ball. Middle two photos, Bishop James F. Checchio meets with students at St. Helena School, Edison. Below right, the bishop visits a classroom, which features a display in his honor, at St. Matthias School, Somerset. Below center and left, he bishop speaks with students at St. Thomas the Apostle School, Old Bridge. Below left, the bishop poses with students at St. Thomas Aquinas High School, Edison.

— Marlo Williamson and Gerald Wutkowski Jr. photos

Spiritual Support

On Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14, Bishop James F. Checchio made a pastoral visit to the Carmel of Mary Immaculate and St. Mary Magdalen, Flemington, where he presided at a Mass in the chapel. After Mass, the bishop spoke to members of the order, including, from left: Sister Talitha of the Trinity and Sister Teresa of Divine Mercy, who are Junior Professed or have made a temporary profession of vows. The bishop regularly encourages young Catholics especially to consider a vocation to the priesthood or consecrated life such as the Carmelites, who, according to their website, “follow the ideal of life established by St. Teresa of Avila to support the Church by their contemplative lives of prayer. Their loving fidelity to the Magisterium is lived out in the cloister where prayer, solitude and the common life in a Marian spirit nourish an apostolic zeal.”

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