AnAppeal
ByLevTolstoyWecannolongerprocrastinateordelay.Thereisnothingtofear,nothingto thinkabouthowandwhattosay.Lifedoesnotwait.Mylifeisrunningout andeveryminutemaybreakoff.AndifthereisanythingIcandotohelp people,ifIcanmakeamendsforallmysins,mywholecelebratelustfullife, thatisonlytotellpeople-brothersthatwhatIwasgiventounderstandmore clearlythanotherpeople,thatforalready10yearstorturesmeandtearsmy heart.
Thisisclearandunderstandablenotonlytomebuttoallpeople,thathuman lifeisnotgoingasitshouldbe,thatpeopletorturethemselvesandothers. Everyoneknowsthatforhisownsakeandforthesakeofallpeopleone needstolovehisneighborisnotlessthanhimself,andifyoucan'tdotothe otherwhatyouwantforyourself,don'tdotohimwhatyoudon’tnotwantfor yourself;andtheteachingofthefaithofallpeoples,andthereasoning,and theconscience–theyalltellthesametoeveryperson.Carnaldeath,which eachofusfaceswithcertainty,remindsusthatit’snotgiventoustoeatany fruitofourdeeds,thatdeathmaycutourlivesatanyminute,andbecausethe onlythingwecando,andwhatcangivetousjoyandtranquility,isevery minute,always,todowhatourmindsandourconscienceordersfromus.If wedonotbelievetherevelation,andtherevelationofChristifwebelieve him,thatis,ifwecan'tdotothenearestpersonthatwhatwewantfor ourselves,then,atleast,shouldn’tdotohimwhatwedon'twantfor ourselves!Andforlongago,equallyknowntoeverybodythat,despiteofthat knowledge,peoplestilldon’tdotootherswhattheydesirethemselves,but kill,rob,steal,tortureeachotherandinsteadoflivinginlove,joy,and tranquilitytheyliveinanguish,grief,fear,andanger.Andthesameis everywhere:peoplearesuffering,agonizing,tryingnottoseethecrazylife, tryingtoforgettheirsuffering,tosilenceit,buttheycannot,andeveryyear moreandmorepeoplearegoingcrazyandkillthemselves,notbeingableto endurethelifecontradictorytothehumanessence.
Butmaybethiswhatlifeisandshouldbeforpeople–thewayhowpeople livenowwiththeiremperors,kingsandgovernments,withtheirchambers, parliaments,withtheirmillionsofsoldiers,gunsandcannons,allminute readytoattackeachother.Maybepeopleshouldlivewiththeirfactoriesand plantsofunnecessaryorharmfulthings,inwhichtheyworkfor10,12,15 hoursaday,whichkillmillionsofpeople,men,women,andchildrenturned intomachines.Maybethatiswhatitshouldbe,-formoreandmorevillages tobeemptiedandforpeopletofloodthecitieswiththeirrestaurants, brothels,homelesshouses,hospitalsandeducationalhouses.Maybethatis whatitshouldbe-tobecomelessandlessofhonestmarriages,butmoreand moreofprostitutesandwomenkillingfetusesinthewombs.Maybethatwhat itshouldhappenforhundredsandhundredsofthousandsofpeopletositin prisons,ingeneralorsolitaryconfinement,ruiningtheirsouls.Maybe,it’s necessarysothatthefaithofChristthatteacheshumility,patience,toendure insults,todothenearestpersonwhatpeoplewantforthemselves,tolove him,toloveenemies,tounitetogether,-maybethatwhatitshouldbesothat faithofChrist,teachingthis,wouldbepassedtopeoplebyteachers,across hundredsoffightingamongeachothersects,inaformofabsurdand immoralfablesaboutthecreationoftheworldandthehuman,aboutthe punishmentandatonementofitbyChrist,abouttheestablishmentofsuchor suchsacramentsandrites.Maybethisisallsonecessaryandcharacteristicof humansasitischaracteristicofantstoliveinanthills,beesinthehives,to fightandworktofulfilthelawoftheirlives.Maybethesamethingis necessaryforpeople,antthisistheirlaw,too.Andmaytherequirementof reasonandconscienceabouttheother,lovingandblissful,life,-maybethat requirementisadreamanddeception,andweshouldn’tandmustn’tthink thatpeoplecanlivedifferently.Atleastthat’swhatsomepeoplesay.Butthe humanheartdoesnotbelievethis;andasalways,itloudlyscreamsagainst thefalselife,callspeopletothelifewhichrequiresincerity,reasonand conscience,andit,evenstronger,strongerthanever,screamsinourtime.
Centurieshavepassed,themillenniums,theeternityoftime,whilewedidnot exist.Andsuddenlywelive,welove,werejoice.Welive,andthedurationof thislife,accordingtoDavid,is70minusculeyears;theywillpassandwe willdisappear,andtheeternityoftimewillagainclosethe70-year-oldlimit, andwewon'tbewhatwearenowagain,ever.Andso,wearegiventolive
these70yearsatbest,andmaybeevenjusthours,toliveinanguishandrage orinjoyandlove,tolivewiththerecognitionthatallwhatwedoiswrong andinthewrongwayorwiththeknowledgethatwehavedonealbeit imperfectlyandpoorlybutexactlywhatshouldbedoneandcouldbedonein thislife.
"Repent,Repent,Repent!"yelledJohntheBaptistbackthen;"repent" proclaimedChrist;"repent",proclaimsthevoiceofGod,thevoiceof conscienceandreason.Firstofall,leteachofusstopeachownworkor enjoyment,stopandthinkaboutwhatwedo.Arewedoingsomethingthat should,or,burningourlifefornothing,-thelife,giventousamongtwo eternitiesofdeath?
Iknowthatpeopleputpressureonyoufromallsidesanddon’tgiveyoua momentofrest,andthatitseemstoyouthat,justlikeahorseonawheel,you cannotstop,andalthoughthewheelwhichismovingbeneathyouwasrushed byyourself;Iknowthathundredsofvoiceswillcryatyouassoonasyou‘ll trytostop,tocometoyoursenses.
-"There’snotimetothinkandreason,needtodo,"-onevotewillshout.
-"Weshouldnottalkaboutourselvesandourdesires,whenbusinesswhich youserveisapubliccase,afamilymatter,amatterofcommerce,art, science,country.Youmustservethesharedpurpose,”-theothervoicewill shout.
-"All’vebeenalreadyattemptedtothinkover,andnobodycameupwith anything,sojustlive,that'sall,"–thethirdvoicewillshout.
-"Thinkordon'tthink,you’llendupwiththesame:livealittleanddie;and thereforeliveforyourpleasure.Donotthink!Ifyouwillthink,you’llsee thatthislifeisworsethannolife,andyou’llkillyourself.Liveasitgoes,but don'tthink",thefourthvoicewillshout.
Afairytaletellsthatwhensomeonehasfoundatreasurehewaslookingfor, athousandoffearfulandseductivevoicescriedoutaroundhimtoprevent himfromtakingthatwhichgavehimthehappiness.Inthesameway,the
voicesofworldlyservantsconfusethetruthseekerwhenhehaditalreadyin mind.Don'tlistentothosevoices.Andinresponsetoeverythingtheycantell you,saytoyourselfonething:BehindmylifeIseeaninfinityoftimein whichIdidn'texist.Aheadofmethereisthesameinfinitedarkness,inwhich deathisabouttotakeandimmerseme.NowIaminlifeandIcan–Iknow thatIcan-canclosemyeyesand,notseeinganything,fallintothemostevil andpainfullife,-orIcannotonlyopenmyeyestosee,butIcanseeand observeallaroundmeandchosethebestandjoyfullife.Andbecause,no matterwhatthevoicestellme,nomatterhowthetemptationsseduceme,no matterhowthelifeI’vealreadystartedpullsmeback,andnomatterhowmy currentlifeapprovesme,Iwillstop,lookaroundandcometomysenses.
Andassoonasapersonwilltellthistohimself,he’llseethatheisnotthe onlyonewhoturnsaroundandthatbeforehim,andwithhim,therearealot andalotofpeople,justlikehim,rethoughtandchosethatbestwayoflife, whichistheonlyonethatgivestheblessingandleadstoit.
25 May 1889
Lev Tolstoy