TrustYourselfbyLevTolstoy
(AnAppealtoYoungPeople)
Trustyourself,youngmenandwomengrowingoutofchildhood,whenyour soulsforthefirsttimeraisequestions:whoamI,whydoIlive,andwhydo allpeoplesurroundingmelive?Andthemain,mostdisturbingquestion-doI liveproperly,andalsoallotherpeoplesurroundingme?Trustyourselfeven whentheanswers,thatwillcometoyou,willdisagreewiththeonesinstilled inyoufromchildhood,willdisagreewiththelifeyoulivewithotherpeople surroundingyou.Don'tbeafraidofthisdisagreement;onthecontrary,know thatinthisdisagreement,witheverythingthatsurroundsyou,thebestthat’s inyouisexpressed,-thatdivinebeginning,themanifestationofwhichinlife isnotonlythemain,buttheonlypurposeofourexistence.Believenot
yourself,asaknownpersonality:Ivan,Peter,Lisa,Masha,son,daughterofa king,ministerorworker,merchantorfarmer,butbelieveyourself,asthat eternal,reasonableandvirtuousbeginning,whichlivesineachofusand which,forthefirsttime,wokeupinyouandaskedyouthesethemost importantintheworldquestionsandlooksforandrequirestheirresolution. Don'tbelievepeoplewho,withanindulgentsmile,willtellyouthatthey oncesearchedfortheanswerstothesequestions,butdidnotfind,because youcannotfindsolutionsotherthanthoseacceptedbyall.
Donotbelievethis,buttrustonlyyourself,anddon'tbeafraidtodisagree withtheviewsandopinionsofpeoplesurroundingyou,-ifonlyyour answers,disagreeingwiththem,arenotbasedonyourpersonaldesiresbut ratheronthedesiretofulfilltherequirementofyourlife,fulfillthewillof thatforcewhichsentyouinthislife.Believeyourself,especiallywhenthe answersthatarecomingtoyouareconfirmedbythoseeternalbeginningsof humanwisdom,wisdomthatisexpressedinallreligiousteachingsandthe closesttoyou-theteachingofChristinitshighestspiritualmeaning.
IrememberwhenIwas15yearsold,wentthroughthetimewhenIsuddenly wokeupfromchildobediencetosomeoneelse'sviews,inwhichIlived before,andrealized,forthefirsttime,thatIneededtolivebymyself,to
choosemyownpath,toberesponsibleformyownlifeinfrontofthatsource thatgaveittome.Irememberthatbackthen,I,albeitvaguely,butdeeplyfelt thatthemainpurposeofmylifeistobegood,inevangelicsense,inasense ofselflessnessandlove.IrememberthatItriedtolivethatway,butitdidnot lastforlong.Ididn'ttrustmyselfbutbelievedthatallimpressive,cocky, triumphantpeople’sacumen,whichinfluencedmeconsciouslyand subconsciouslybyeverythingthatsurroundedme.Andmyfirstawakening shiftedtoverycertain,thoughmultifarious,desiresforsuccessinfrontof people,fame,intellect,wealth,strength,-thatisforthatwhatnotImyself, butpeople,consideredvaluable.
Ididn'tbelievemyselfbackthen,andonlyaftermanydecadeswastedon achievingworldlyobjectives,whichIeitherdidnotreachorachievedbut realizedtheirfutility,vanity,andoftentheirharm,Iunderstoodthatthesame, whichIknew60yearsagoandwhichIdidnotbelievethen,canandmustbe theonlyreasonablegoalofeveryhumanbeing.
Andwhatmuchdifferent,morejoyfulformyselfandmoreusefultopeople, mylifewouldbe,ifIhadtrustedthevoiceofthetruth,God,whenitforthe firsttimespokeninme,notyetsubjectedtothetemptationsofmysoul,ifI believedthatvoiceandgaveintoit?
Yes,dearyoungmen,whoaresincerely,independently,notunderan influenceofexternalsuggestions,butindependentlyandsincerely,awakened tothecognizanceoftheimportanceofyourlife,yes,don'tbelievethose peoplewhowilltellyouthatyourmotivationsareonlyunachievabledreams ofyouth,thattheyalsodreamedandstrived,butthelifesoonshowedthem thatithasitsowndemandsandthatweshouldnotfantasizeaboutwhatour lifemightbe,andinsteadtryourbesttoalignouractionswiththelifeofthe existingsocietyandstriveonlytobeausefulmemberofthissociety.
Alsodonotbelievethatdangeroustemptation,especiallyestablishedinour time,consistinginbeliefthatthehighestpurposeofahumanistoassistthe redevelopmentofsociety,existinginacertainlocationortime,usingforthis purposeallmeans,eventhatwhatcontradictmoralprinciples.Don'tbelieve this;thispurposeisworthless,incomparisontothepurposeofmanifestation
inyourselfthatdivinesourcethatisengravedinyoursoul.Andthepurpose isfalseifitallowsdeviationfromthesourceofgoodnessengravedinyour soul.
Don'tbelievethis.Don'tbelievethatrealizationofgoodnessandtruthare impossibleinyoursoul.Achievinggoodnessandtruthisn’tonlynot impossibleinyoursoul,buttheentirelifeofyours,andofallpeople,isonly inthis,andonlythisrealizationineverypersonleadsnotonlytoabetter society,butalsotoallthatwelfareofhumanity,whichassistsitandwhichis fulfilledonlybypersonaleffortsofeachindividual.
Yes,trustyourselfwhenyoursoulwillnotdesiretooutdoothers,distinguish yourselffromothers,bepowerful,famous,tobeasaviorofthepeople, rescuerfromawrongorderoflife(suchdesiresoftensubstitutethedesirefor goodness),buttrustyourselfwhenthemaindesireofyoursoulistobebetter -Iwon'ttell:toimprove,becauseinself-improvementissomething egotistical,satisfyingpride,-butI’llsay:tobecomethatwhatGodwhogave uslifewants,toopeninyourselfthatengravedinusbeginning,whichis alikeHim,andtolivegodly,aspeoplesay.
Trustyourselfandlivetoputallyoureffortsintoonepurpose:tomanifest Godinyourself,-andyou’llachieveeverythingyoucan,forbothyourown benefitandforthebenefitoftheentireworld.