It’s not easy to forgive enemies. But what about when a fellow Christian hurts you? Or a friend or family member? What factors should you consider?
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ometimes the most easy-to-understand statements are the most difficult to practice. Probably millions of people have repeated Jesus’ words from His model prayer in Matthew 6: “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” And probably millions have discovered that while it’s easy to desire forgiveness from God, it can be really hard to extend it to someone else. It might be even more difficult, some have observed, to forgive our friends than our enemies. Why? Because we expect wounds from strangers or enemies, but being profoundly hurt by someone we love cuts more deeply. When we are hurt by a friend, family member or fellow Christian, it can feel like a betrayal or treachery. Yes, forgiveness is challenging, but necessary (Matthew 6:14-15). Here are four keys to understanding how to deal with some of the complexities involved.
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Time—and hard work and repetition—heals all wounds The old adage “time heals all wounds” is woefully inadequate. Would you leave a serious physical wound
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untended, believing that it would heal fine if given enough time? Of course not. Just as serious physical wounds need repeated proper treatment over a long period of time, so do emotional wounds. Forgiveness is a key treatment for good mental and spiritual health. But forgiving others, while it often does take time, usually requires two more important elements—hard work and repetition. Our perfect God can immediately remove our sins as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). But we weaker humans struggle. For us, forgiveness is frequently a repetitive process requiring diligent work over a period of time. Have you ever thought you had forgiven someone, only to discover that when something triggered memories of a bad experience, hurt feelings came flooding back? What should you do? Rinse and repeat! We sometimes find ourselves needing to forgive once again what we had already forgiven before! That’s often the battle we face, but repeated efforts eventually settle forgiveness permanently into our mind-set.
July/August 2022
Photo: lightstock.com
Forgiving Someone Who Hurt You
