DUBAI CHAPTER Toastmasters Club | Club – 7492 |Area 7 | Division B | District 20 |
Volume 3 – 2013-14
Jan – Mar 2014
–
Ed Tate, Aurora 2000
Darren LaCroix 2001
Lance Miller 2005
Edward Hearn 2006
Dwayne Smith 2002
Vikas Jhingran 2007
11
Jim Key, Rowlett 2003
Randy Harvey 2004
LaShunda Rundles 2008
Mark Hunter 2009
WHO IS NEXT? David Henderson 2010
Jock Elliott 2011
Ryan Avery 2012
Presiyan Vasilev 2013
World Champion 2014
TOASTMASTER’S
PROMISE GET TO KNOW
DUBAI CHAPTER No.7492, AREA 7, DIV B, DISTRICT 20
PRESIDENT Gemma Zust 050 659 1102 g.u.zust@gmail.com VICE PRESIDENT-EDUCATION Deepak Gulati 055 668 1921 Genxdel80@gmail.com VICE PRESIDENT-MEMBERSHIP Abdel Rahman Al Houseiney 050-473 3087 aelhousseiny@gmail.com VICE PRESIDENT-PUBLIC RELATIONS Abdul Khaliq 050 45 00 802 akhaliq.mohammad@gmail.com SECRETARY Sadaff Habib 055-1011782 sadaffh7@gmail.com TREASURER Ambujmani Tripathi 050 2761656 tripathi.ambuj@gmail.com
As a member of Toastmasters International and my club, I promise: To attend club meetings regularly To prepare all of my speech and leadership projects to the best
of my ability, basing them on projects in the Competent Communication, Advanced Communication or Competent Leadership manuals To prepare for and fulfill meeting assignments To provide fellow members with helpful, constructive evaluations To help the club maintain the positive, friendly environment necessary for all members to learn and grow To serve my club as an officer when called upon to do so To treat my fellow club members and our guests with respect and courtesy To bring guests to club meetings so they can see the benefits Toastmasters membership offers To adhere to the guidelines and rules for all Toastmasters educational and recognition programs
SERGEANT AT ARMS Manish Goyal 055-184 7083 manish_goyalji@hotmail.com
Visit our website: http://7492.toastmastersclubs.org/
Connect with Us:
To maintain honest and highly ethical standards during the conduct of all Toastmasters activities
GET TO KNOW
TOASTMASTERS FACTS ABOUT
Q. WHAT IS TOASTMASTERS INTERNATIONAL? A. Toastmasters International is a non-profit educational
TOASTMASTERS
organization that aims to improve ones communication, public speaking and leadership skills through a worldwide network of meeting locations. Ralph C. Smedley (February 22, 1878 – September 11, 1965) was the founder of Toastmasters International. The organization has more than 280,000 members in 14,350 clubs in 116 countries.
Q. WHY SHOULD YOU JOIN A TOAST MASTERS CLUB? A. Toastmasters International helps men and women learn the arts of speaking, listening, and thinking – vital skills that promote self-actualization, enhance leadership potential and foster human understanding. Members in a Toastmasters club work through a series of educational programs (at their own pace) designed to improve their ability to write speeches, design presentations, and deliver them. Leadership and communication skills are intimately bound. Some might argue that leadership is nothing more than the ability to effectively communicate a vision. As your communication skills improve, your ability to lead will improve as well.
Q.
CAN I HAVE SOME IDEA ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS DURING A TOAST MASTERS
MEETING?
A. There are three basic parts to the Toastmasters meeting: the prepared speeches, Table Topics, and evaluations. In the prepared speaking portion of the meeting, several Toastmasters will give a prepared presentation or speech before the group. Speeches are usually designed to meet the requirements of one of the projects in the communication manuals. "Table Topics" is an extemporaneous speaking exercise where the speaker speaks "off the cuff"; that is, the speaker responds to a question or topic that is not known beforehand Feedback is called evaluation, and it is the heart of the Toastmasters educational program. You observe the speeches and leadership roles of your fellow club members and offer evaluations of their efforts, and they do the same for you. The purpose as an evaluator is to provide honest reaction in a constructive manner to the person’s efforts, using the evaluation guides provided.
Q. WHY DUBAI CHAPTER TOASTERMASTERS CLUB A. Dubai Toastmasters is the mother Toastmasters club
Founded October 22, 1924 Updated Brand August 17, 2011 Leadership George Yen, International President Mohammed Murad, President-Elect Jim Kokocki, First Vice President Mike Storkey, Second Vice President Daniel Rex, Chief Executive Officer Benefits • Clearer communication • Improved leadership skills • Enhanced teamwork • Effective meetings • Increased productivity • Positive mentoring • Complements existing training programs • Cost effective Toastmasters Member Demographics Gender distribution • 52% female • 48% male Number of Toastmaster Clubs Worldwide clubs: 14,350+ U.S. clubs: 8,500+ International clubs : 5,850+
Toastmasters will help you to: of Dubai and has gathered a
wealth of experience since it was born 15 years ago. Our Club stands proud as both members and guests learn and grow by speaking before an audience and working with others in a very supportive environment. Our club is representative of something more than a typical Toastmasters club where 20 to 30 members meet once every fortnight for about 2 hours - it is a family of people with a shared drive for self-improvement and to help others. Each meeting gives everyone an opportunity to practice conducting meetings, giving impromptu speeches, presenting prepared speeches, and offering constructive evaluation.
Speak and present compellingly Think quickly and clearly Become a strong leader Listen effectively
You will learn these skills and more in a supportive, self-paced, fun atmosphere.
FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK
CHILDREN ARE GREAT TEACHERS
A
few weeks back I have had the pleasure of witnessing the Gaveliers of “Young Voices Gavel Club” compete in a club contest. It was an absolute treat watching the young Gaveliers perform and taking up the challenge. Even greater was the lesson that I learnt that day.
Their eagerness to participate in a contest was overwhelming. There is no doubt enthusiasm was ignited by the club counselor TM Seetha Sagaran but Gaveliers were equally up to the challenge.
As usual our members have contributed with their ideas, articles and much more. Be generous in expressing your views on their efforts. Let’s briefly look at the highlights of this issue:
There were 19 contestants each in Evaluation and Table Topics Contests. They were all prepared and dressed up to face the competition. Even before the contest started they knew exactly which contestant could walk out as the winner. However, it didn’t stop all other contestants to participate. They all participated and fought to the best of their abilities. That reminded me a quote by Zig Ziglar:
Inspiring & Motivational Messages from the leadership of Dubai Chapter. Message from Area 7 Governor. TM Velu shared with us his journey as a Toastmaster and how his life turned around after he joined Toastmasters.
“Winning is not everything but the effort to win is.”
With this issue I am pleased to announce Dubai Chapter’s presence on the World Wide Web. Please connect with us to get updates on club activities and events. Make your presence felt by actively participating in discussions and sharing ideas.
Friends, that day I learnt the valuable lesson of participating and facing the competition from the little Gaveliers. Truly, children are great teachers!
Four thoughtful articles by our member Toastmasters TM Seetha Sagaran, TM VP Menon, TM Aadil Kadri, TM Abdul Khaliq
Enjoy reading! Help us improve by sharing your views on social media or at the clubs officers email address officers-7492@toastmastersclubs.org .
Abdul KHALIQ VP Public Relations Dubai Chapter
ORATOR SEPTEMBER 2013
TABLE OF
CONTENTS MARCH 2014
6 LEADERSHIP MESSAGE 7 President’s Message 9 From the Desk of VP Membership
10 MESSAGE FROM AREA GOVERNOR 11 Message from Area Governor
13 2014 CONTESTS – BE PART OF IT! 13 District 20 Annual Conference 13 Annual International Convention
14 FOR YOUR INFO 14 Dubai Chapter DCP Points Update
15 INITIATIVE WORTH SPREADING 16 We need Stronger Wings Idea by Abdul Khaliq
17 ARTICLES 17 Optimism and You By Seetha Sagaran 19 The Power of “NO” By VP Menon 22 Planning for Unexpected Expenses By Aadil Kadri 24 A Little Warrior By Abdul Khaliq
26 CLUB UPDATES 26 Welcome Aboard 28 Revitalizing the Moments 32 Glimpses of Club Contest 2014
13
FEATURES 10 Message from Area Governor Life is Quality, Will & Passion Velu Arumugam – Area 7 Governor
13 2014 Contests – Be Part of It! District 20 Annual Conference Annual International Convention
34 Your Chance to Win Answer the Simple Question for your chance to Win a Souvenir from Toastmasters Copyright Notice: Toastmasters International, the Toastmasters International logo, and all other Toastmasters International trademarks and copyrights are the sole property of Toastmasters International. Any logos, banners and material used in preparation of this newsletter are provided at Toastmasters’ website for members’ use. Any extract used from Toastmasters manuals is credited to Toastmasters with a reference to the original manual/guide.
Dubai Chapter – Club Leadership
PRESIDENT’S MESSAGE
A GREAT DEAL HAPPENED FOR D’CHAPS IN Q1 2014
D
o you remember everything that has happened for DChaps this quarter? Have you stuck to your New Year’s Resolutions? If Franklin Roosevelt said “I killed my grandmother last night” would you be listening? Who is your valentine? Who opened our eyes to the World of Innovation? Who showed us a snap of their youthful six pack? Who was the MC in the Area 7 Club Contest? A great deal happened for DChaps in Quarter 1 of 2014. Puneet’s celebration in January of the Warrior inside us was very apt just before the Dubai Chapter Annual Club Contest, where our courageous members took the warriors inside them to the stage and each provided an almighty performance! Contestants you can all give yourself a hearty congratulations for pushing your own personal boundaries. The event itself was a superb success thanks to all of the generous helping hands, including both our own members and those who kindly volunteered from other clubs. We had some of our newest members and our most senior present and were even blessed with the star appearance of Rupa Vinod.
We are extremely proud that our ever prepared and polished TM Abdul Khaliq won the 1st Runner Up Trophy in the International Speech Contest and is now going on to represent us in the International Speech category in Division B!! A shout out from all DChaps to Abdul Khaliq – You Will Rock!!! We are behind you every step of the way!!!
“In addition to the contest season we had wonderful meetings this quarter”
Our champions Swapna, Aadil, Richa and Abdul Khaliq then each put on a striking performance against tough competition in the Area 7 Contest. The Area 7 Contest was a fantastic event and in no small part, thanks to Dubai Chapter members who were making us proud; Qaisar Amin lit the auditorium on fire with his Chief SAA introduction, Abdel Rahman was front row center stage behind the camera as official professional photographer, the elegant and eloquent Seetha Sagaran was a splendid MC, Ramesh Anantharaman gave an inspirational Leadership Address, and our very own Area Governor Velu Arumugam presided over the entire event and gave a powerful address on excellence. ORATOR MARCH 2014
7
PRESIDENT’S MESSAGE We sadly had to say goodbye to Sadaff Habib as Secretary at the beginning of this quarter as she went on to study for the New York Bar exam to be qualified as a lawyer in New York. This is a fantastic opportunity for Sadaff and we wish her all the best. The silver lining to losing Sadaff was that we were able to bring a new face into the Excom fold. We welcomed Apaar Arora as Secretary and he has already hit the ground running with professional minutes, attending our Excom meetings and entertaining us with his Icebreaker about being a Fashion Designer (whoops I meant ‘Fashion Merchandise Planner’). In addition to the contest season we had wonderful meetings this quarter; Jiyas PK opened the year encouraging us to consider our 2014 New Year’s resolutions; Puneet brought his warrior’s shield to the stage; Manish blew us a away with his Valentine’s Day performance on “you – your very own valentine”;
Apaar opened our eyes to the world of innovation; Ashok and Deepak took us on a glorious journey down memory lane – showcasing members’ personal photo libraries and Qaisar entertained us with his Awkward Moments. Jose, Anindya, Apaar Arora each broke the ice with dazzling debut performances and Ambuj hit the jackpot with 10 out of 10 – CC done! Boom! Let’s not forget the Table Topics Marathon where a record 22 members participated back-to-back!! This is only a sprinkling of what has occurred this quarter and there is much more to come in quarter four and the rest of the year ahead. Keep up the enthusiasm DChaps – be like the enterprising mule and step up to every opportunity!
Gemma Zust President Dubai Chapter
“[Leadership is] the capacity to look ahead, think ahead, plan ahead, and then influence other people to go ahead on the plan” Ralph C. Smedley ORATOR MARCH 2014
8
FROM THE DESK OF VP – MEMBERSHIP
MEMBERSHIP UPDATES
A
s we step into the last quarter of the year, I am proud to announce that we have over achieved our Membership DCP (Distinguished Club Program) goal by having 19 new members until today.
Q3 of the year is always the lowest in attendance, Guest record and new members; because of summer and public holidays. I count on every one of us to fulfill our Toastmaster oath where we repeated: "and to bring other new members into the club, so they can also gain the benefits of Toastmasters." We are all proud to belong to Dubai Chapter club, the first club in the region and we would love our colleagues and friends to gain the same value and great deal we have gained.
“I count on every one of us to fulfill our Toastmasters oath”
Abdel Rahman Vice President - Membership
ORATOR MARCH 2014
9
Dubai Chapter – Home Club of Area 7 Governor
MESSAGE FROM AREA 7 GOVERNOR
ORATOR MARCH 2014
10
FROM THE DESK OF AREA – 7 GOVERNOR
LIFE IS QUALITY, WILL & PASSION Dear D’Chap Members,
A
s your Area Governor, it gives me great pleasure to write this message to you all. Being a member of this club since 2005 and having attended several of our meetings and the meetings of many other clubs within and outside UAE, I can vouch for it that Dubai Chapter is a club with a great
difference when it comes to excellence in terms of quality, systems and procedures. These have been followed for year after year by every Ex-com and that’s commendable. I have witnessed that this club has produced many excellent leaders and speakers, who will win the heart of their listeners through their acquired speaking skills on any given opportunity they get to speak. My journey in Toastmasters has been a remarkable experience that cannot be described in few words. I would love to share few drops of words out of my life journey in general and as a Toastmaster in particular. In simple words a journey from a shy person to a confident speaker, from a serious person to a humorous speaker and from a guest to an Area Governor. I used to be a shy person, an introvert and afraid of public speaking even after becoming a Chartered Accountant. However, today with all humility, I can say that I am able to confidently speak, lead a team, organize events, train, inspire and motivate people. Toastmasters International, the foundation of which is so strong that unlike any other organization, it will never, never have an end. The beauty is that it empowers its members to achieve their full potential and realize their dreams through its well proven Leadership and Communication programs and encourages people from all walks of life to join this wonderful organization. ORATOR MARCH 2014
Out of my life journey I had realized that: It’s the Quality but not the Quantity that matters in the long run It’s the Will but not the physical strength that keeps things moving It’s the Passion but not the external compulsion that brings life into everything that we do.
“My journey in Toastmasters has been a remarkable experience” And these qualities keep ruling me in everything that I do. “I began my Toast mastering journey to fulfill my quest for improving my speaking skills “when I discovered Dubai Toastmasters Club in August 2005 & joined in the very first meeting I attended as a guest. Ever since, my association with Toastmasters has brought a great transformation in me adding value to my career and my personal life. I had come across many organizations in my quest for becoming an excellent speaker, but none of them could give what I got out of Toastmasters, the amazing transformation. So I made a DVD with my Ice Breaker & Project 10 speech, titled “THE UNBELIEVABLE CHANGE IN ME AFTER JOINING TOASTMASTERS”. Believe me friends; no one on this earth would disagree with me after watching this DVD.
11
FROM THE DESK OF AREA – 7 GOVERNOR My active involvement in Toastmasters has provided me a variety of learning experiences, especially from the sharing of our fellow Toastmasters; above all I have found some great mentors and good friends! Undoubtedly, it has been a rewarding learning experience for me, one which I value deeply. The personal growth I have experienced both as a Toastmaster and as an individual amazes me. The friendships I have formed are priceless and I am one extremely proud individual for having accepted the challenge of Area 7 Governor Leadership. As Area Governor, my dream is to infuse the passion, sincerity & loyalty in every member towards this great organization, which stands out to be the world No.1 in shaping up normal individuals to become extraordinary individuals. Keeping this in mind we had our first Area 7 council meeting on 5th October, which was a great success with representation from all the clubs. As promised we hosted a fantastic Annual Conference on 7th March 2014 at Dubai Men’s College, the experience & feedback that we have received from our fellow members will remain as treasures in my mind. As Dubai Chapter has many dedicated, energetic and excellent Leaders, I am sure that this Club in addition to maintaining the legacy, will strive for achieving growth and excellence with excitement. It has truly been amazing to watch you and the clubs rapid growth in membership. I firmly believe that if I have had such a great transformation due to my involvement in Toast mastering, I am sure each one of you too can excel & achieve much more than me. So I urge and encourage you all to work passionately to do your best to achieve both your personal and club goals.
ORATOR MARCH 2014
My sincere appreciation to all the club members, club leaders, in particular President Gemma for the stupendous leadership portrayed by her and the creativity demonstrated by your VP PR in bringing out this newsletter. I take this opportunity to wish all the D’Chap members a Great and Happy Toastmastering and wish it be as rewarding journey for you as it has been for me.
Warm regards, Yours in Toastmasters,
Velu Arumugam, ACB, ALB Area Governor, Area 7, Div B, Dist 20
12
2014 CONTESTS – BE A PART OF IT DISTRICT 20 TOASTMASTERS ANNUAL CONFERENCE, OMAN
83rd ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL CONVENTION KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA
DISTRICT 20 TOASTMASTERS ANNUAL CONFERENCE
83rd ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL CONVENTION
MAY 15-17, 2014 – MUSCAT, OMAN
AUG 20-23, 2014 – KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA
Welcome to DTAC2014*
Be a Part of History*
Muscat, the capital city of Oman welcomes you to DTAC 2014. The city of colorful minarets in the backdrop of brown pleated Al Hijar Mountains is described as “Arabia’s jewel. With its largelyuntouched coastline, mountains, deserts, forts, palaces and old walled city Oman is bundle of joy for any tourist.
For the first time in its history, Toastmasters is holding its International Convention outside North America. Join thousands of Toastmasters from around the world at the beautiful Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre this August. Whether you're a first-timer or a seasoned conventioneer, there's never been a better year to attend!
We assure you that the kitty of Annual District Toastmasters Conference 2014 will be inspiring, warm, fresh & fabulous.
Registration fee till 24th Mar, 2014: $200 Registration fee till 30th, April 2014): $250 Registration fee (On Doors Only): $300
The International Convention is the most anticipated event of the Toastmasters year, as members and non-members alike gather together to hear world class public speakers, network with like-minded people, elect International Officers and Directors, and attend the spectacular and soulstirring public speaking competition known as the World Championship of Public Speaking. If you’ve never attended convention, make 2014 the year you come to see what it's all about.
Register Here
Registration fee: $450. Register Here
(*As published on DTAC2014 website)
(*As published on TMI website)
The three day conference, which is scheduled from May 15th to 17th will be held at the pride of Muscat – Al Bustan Palace – a perfect blend of old & new.
ORATOR MARCH 2014
13
DUBAI CHAPTER DCP UPDATE
ORATOR MARCH 2014
14
Ideas, Initiatives & Inspirations
HAVE IDEAS?
WRITE TO US WATCH OUT THIS SPACE FOR INNOVATIVE IDEAS
IDEAS WORTH SPREADING WE NEED STRONGER WINGS It is not an alternative to avoid wasting food! Kurt Vonnegut once said “We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”
already reduced the volume of waste by 90%. That means you will only be dumping 10% of the total waste to the landfill.
Kurt uttered those inspiring words but in our case we have been pushing the limits too far. Either we have to develop our wings quicker and stronger or we are going to hit the ground sooner or later.
The third machine is called composter. It more or less works like the last part of the human digestion system long intestine and short intestine. As the name suggests it converts this powder to compost with the help of bacteria and heating. At the end of the process you get compost for your landscape.
Food waste is one of the major contributors towards the greenhouse gases causing environmental pollution. Beware this process is not an alternative to avoid wasting food! However, there will always be some inevitable wastage. For example, fruit & vegetable peels, bones after someone has enjoyed biryani.
Let’s look at the first machine it is called Disposer. Disposer works exactly like human teeth. It chews down the food to tiny particles that can easily be digested by the stomach. Disposer is a powerful machine that can even take bones and turn them to paste. This second machine is called Macerator. You can consider it as a human stomach. It takes the mixture and squeezes the water out from the paste. Water is drained and a powder like substance comes out in a bucket. Now if you stop here, these machines have ORATOR MARCH 2014
With the help of these machines we have converted food waste to a useful product and the even better news is that we have eliminated the impact on the environment.
We need stronger wings like these if we keep on jumping from the cliffs. This reminds me, most of the inventions are inspired by nature or natural process. First we destroy the naturethen come and invent a machine to do what nature does best. Then we think everything is going to be fine. We are really funny!
Idea by Abdul KHALIQ
16
OPTIMISM AND YOU Make the BEST of Your LIFE By Seetha Sagaran
W
Clement Stone once said, “There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” When I was in the 8th grade, I had a classmate, Niro (the pet name we gave her in class), who had this great vibrant energy that made any situation fun – even if it were one where we might be caught chatting during class! In life, from the age we begin to socialize, we find ourselves drawn to the company of those who smile, make us smile and make us feel great about who we are.
What is the ONE quality that makes
ORATOR MARCH 2014
these people special and wonderful Visual Vocal to know? Verbal Their positive nature! Their everpresent smile of optimism that turns out to be quite contagious!
We may smile, laugh, make pleasant expressions that convey our interest and delight as we attempt to communicate.
These individuals are naturally popular. They are fun to be with. Have you noticed that they are least Our charming President judgmental of those around them? Gemma’s laugh, is a good example. We SEE the welcome The three ways we consciously or as the waves of laughter touch unconsciously communicate us. optimism are:
“Positive expressions regenerate positive feelings and beliefs” 17
We may infuse warmth, interest and attention into our voice. Our Past President, Beena has this powerful ability to convey a myriad of emotions through her voice. We find ourselves treated to this wonderful experience during her Presidential Addresses. We may verbally express our admiration and appreciation through statements like,” Your work is great, you are truly talented!” When you light a lamp, you too are privileged to enjoy the glow. Our Past President and Area Governor, Ashok continues to motivate and guide members and all who know him with his uniquely artful way of appreciating them while encouraging them to be better than they are. He’s always a pleasure to converse with, as we all know.
They motivate and energise those around. While conscious efforts are supplemented to our natural ability to be positive individuals, we transform those so-called “withdrawn and hardly smiling” into the kind who are a treat to be around with.
During a course that I had attended a few years ago, I came across this beautiful lady, Shobana, Elegant and quiet, she appeared to be reserved in her conversations and frugal with her smiles. I got the opportunity to work with her during a team activity and The common characteristic that was pleasantly surprised that we had these Club members share is their a good number of things in common. ability to communicate positively – We even enjoyed the same kind of to express their natural optimism humour! It would have been a great effectively. loss if I were to accept her apparent Positive expressions regenerate desire to keep to herself for granted positive feelings and beliefs. They and kept a distance from her. I would not just show the right paths but never have discovered what a lovely light those paths well. person she really was.
Over the years, I’ve observed positive people to have the following attributes: A creative attitude- They see each situation with immense possibilities. “Obstacles? Of course we will overcome them!” A fun attitude – They trigger positive energy amongst those around them. An attitude of enthusiasm – They connect to the people with enthusiasm and energy. Awareness of the power and vitality of optimism in life enables us to enjoy the richness and goodness that life provides us with in such abundance. Let us train ourselves to think nothing but positive thoughts; say nothing but positive words; do nothing but positive acts. Go on! …Make the BEST of your LIFE.
Seetha Sagaran is a homemaker and married with two children, a daughter and a son. A member of Toastmasters since 2004, Seetha has a background in Counseling, Hypnotherapy and is a Personal Development Trainer. She enjoys working as a part time volunteer at the Al- Noor School for Children with Special Needs and is also as the Club Counselor for the Young Voices Gavel Club in Dubai.
ORATOR MARCH 2014
18
THE POWER OF NO! The sandwich approach By VP Menon
T
here are many times in life when we wish to say “NO” but we can’t. We are worried what effect saying “NO” will have on our relationship with the other person. We just hate the thought of hurting someone else’s feelings. It could be telling your mentee in Toastmasters “I can’t write your speech for you”, refusing to buy that PS3 game for your teenage son, turning down a friends request for financial help or even saying “NO” to your boss who dumps all his work on you. Whether trivial or tormenting, each of these moments is an exercise in that poorly understood power, namely, the power of “NO”. If we don’t get better at saying “NO” Other peoples’ priorities will take precedence over ours. ORATOR MARCH 2014
Mere acquaintances—people we Organizational psychologist Adam Grant, author of Give and Take and barely know!—will crowd out time with family and close friends. a professor at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School, We will not have the time we points to the power of “NO” as need for rest and recovery. necessary to carve time for one's We will end up frustrated and own goals and agenda. Without it, stressed. We won’t be able to say “yes” to other people dictate your schedule and limit your accomplishments. the really important things. Says Grant, "Saying “NO” is We would end up doing things which we will later repent doing. especially huge in establishing a Remember, every time we say “NO” work/life balance. Without that to something that is not important, ability, work will cannibalize your life.". we are saying “YES” to something that is.
Replace your automatic “YES” with "I'll think about it." 19
“NO” also makes other people respect you and your time more, Grant notes. "When you are able to say “NO”, people are careful to come to you with only meaningful requests, rather than simply asking for any help you might be able to give." As you get used to saying “NO” strengthen your ability to say “NO” while lowering its cost to your relationships. Several strategies can help you achieve that balance. 1. Replace your automatic “YES” with "I'll think about it." "I'll think about it" puts you in control, softens the ground for “NO”, suggests you are actually weighing important factors, and, most important, allows you the opportunity to think things through. A “NO” that follows thoughtful decision making is a more grounded fence than a “NO” that is fueled by emotional impulse. 2. Soften your language. Try "I'm not comfortable with that." "I'd prefer not." "I'd rather..." "Let's agree to disagree here." Or "That's a good/nice/ interesting plan, but I won't be able to..." Just like we Toastmasters use the Sandwich approach in Evaluation, this last is a variant of the Oreo cookie communication strategy, in which you say something positive ("You are such a warm and charming person"), sandwich in the filling of
ORATOR MARCH 2014
a tactful “NO” ("I don't think you and I have a romantic future"), and then end with another cookie ("I have so enjoyed the time we've spent together; you really make me laugh"). You are still delivering a clear and powerful “NO”, and the other person well understands that. This “NO”, sweeter and softer, may go down better. 4. Contain your feelings. “NO” is best deployed pleasantly with an air of Zen calm. (Tricky, because you are likely feeling very far from it.) Outward calm helps quiet your inner turmoil. What's more, it will reduce the negative impact of your “NO” on the brain of your audience. The jolt that “NO” delivers is big enough without a tsunami of anger and invective. 5. Refer to your commitment to others. Say “NO” without appearing selfish or uncaring by referencing your conflicting obligations to other people. "I'd love to help, but I
have already agreed to help my mother/colleague/student then, and I can't let him/her down." 3. Realize you represent others. Wharton's Adam Grant suggests that you are likely to negotiate more assertively if you recognize, or even imagine, that you are negotiating a salary on behalf of your family or negotiating a sale on behalf of your company. When it's not just your own interest at stake, you may find it easier to say “NO” to a lowball offer.
Just like we Toastmasters use the Sandwich approach in Evaluation 20
6. Rehearse. Ongoing situations—a demanding boss who keeps piling on the work, a needy family member who never limits her requests, a mate who badgers until you cave—can benefit from your thoughtful, private rehearsal. You may design one clear, respectful No and keep repeating it no matter what comes your way. ("I cannot take on another project, Sir, because my plate is too full." "I cannot take on another project, Sir, because my plate is too full.") Repeat politely . until the boss finally hears you.
Or, if you practice long enough, you might just become strong enough to listen to any inappropriate, uncomfortable, excessive request, pause for breath, and then deliver your one-word, no-explanation verdict: “NO”. Warm Regards VP Me”NO”n
(Acknowledgement This article is inspired by the thoughts of Media psychologist, keynoter and workplace consultant, Judith Sills, Ph.D. She is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, Excess Baggage: Getting Out of Your Own Way, a clear guide to your own personality pitfalls and a road map for steering around those of your staff and colleagues). VP Menon as he is popularly known has been a member of Dubai Toastmasters Club for the last 12 years. He is a very dedicated Toastmaster with a high level of passion to continuously learn and share those learning with others. This passion has motivated him to take on training as a full time profession after being in the corporate world for the last 20+ years working with various multinational organizations in the fields of Retailing, Supply Chain Management, International trade & business development, Operations Management, Quality Management & Training. He believes in an engaging, lively and practical approach to training and has a proven track record as an effective leader & communicator.
ORATOR MARCH 2014
21
PLANNING FOR UNEXPECTED EXPENSES Why it makes sense?! By Aadil Kadri
H
ave you ever heard someone say something like – “I had planned to buy a car for the last 2 years and I was saving for it regularly with discipline, but I think I will have to delay my decision because some thing urgent and unexpected cropped up in between! . It happens all the time.”
those awesome reviews forced me to grab my copy from Flip-art today itself, I never planned to buy it !
95% people don’t plan anything. They just go with the flow. And for the rest 5%, who do any kind of planning; even their planning fails at some point of time because of a very simple and over looked factor Here are some more examples of in financial life, which is “unexpected expenses”. “Unexpected Expenses”. If you My Car Servicing had to be done write down all your monthly urgently. I didn't expect it to expenses on a paper, do the total, break down this month and keep exactly that much money My brother asked me for AED in your pocket… you can be sure 1,000 more this month, I had to that you will have a really tight send that extra money this time which I didn't plan for. My daughter had to see a doctor last week, and now suddenly this month budget’s gone for a toss! I was planning to buy my favorite
month! And that must be happening already !
These “Unpredictable” expenses are very predictable. It’s because when we make any assumption, our conscious mind can only think about the bigger picture and we never deal with smaller details and mostly never count the uncertainties of life . We never consider that we might have to shell out AED2,000 on something which suddenly comes up (it can be anything). Suddenly there can be some trip, some eating out, some medical
"When you do your monthly budgeting, have a “Unexpected Event” category too "
author’s book next month, but ORATOR MARCH 2014
22
expenses, some expenses related to the kids school etc. By now you must have realized that these unpredictable expenses are very predictable. I mean, you can always expect the unexpected. See each month, without fail, something or the other always crops up out of nowhere, your planning never fits the target , you are always short of what you were thinking earlier! , Sounds familiar? .... doesn’t it ?
happen, it is like a punch on your face! You didn't think about it and now it’s in your life, staring you in the face. To overcome this issue, you need to create that unexpected expenses buffer. Once
investments also . If you are planning for a goal which is going 70 years after the author's death. The government of Bavaria, in agreement with the federal government of Germany, refuses
Life is so unpredictable, that it’s a great idea to factor that “unexpectedness” into your planning. When you do your monthly budgeting, have a “Unexpected Event” category too, and allocate some money for that anyways, because it will happen.... whether you like it or not.
to allow any copying or printing of the book in Germany, and opposes to come after 6 years, better plan for just 5 years and keep 1 years as buffer. If you are assuming a 6% return , better plan assuming 4% But it has been taken care, so why If nothing happens, you can always only , and keep 2% as buffer , if your SIP ( Systematic Investments plan for it ? use up that buffer for your other Plan ) amount needed for a goal is If these unexpected events happen expenses, its like a bonus ( Diwali / AED5,000, better invest AED 6,000 a lot in your life, you will agree that New year Bonus) for you. instead of AED 5,000 . This way, the the money you need to shell out is Why not we keep a buffer in chances of the final outcome fitting "Stupid Mistakes Account", which not the big issue, rather the real into your expectations is much is for the same concept of planning issue is the psychological nonhigher! for unexpected expenses. acceptance and your irritation What do you think about it? every-time it happens. You have Keep buffer even in your Remember in your prayers .... not mentally prepared yourself for investments. those expenses and every time they The same thing applies to your Happy Investing !!! you've done that, you are mentally ready to expect something unexpected and when you need to spend money for it, you know it will come from your “unexpected event” account.
Aadil Kadri is a Group Manager – Advisory at Continental Financial Services. He is a: Certified Financial Planner, FPSB - India Qualified Life Member Million Dollar Round Table - USA Member FAAIDA ( Financial Advisors Association of India) Member of Dubai Chapter since Apr – 2010. ORATOR MARCH 2014
23
A LITTLE WARRIOR Plea of a desperate father By Abdul KHALIQ
Y
ou know what? Sometimes life Immediately I asked “Tell me about appears to be just perfect. The Ali”. ship of your life sailing smoothly “Ali is an eight years old boy, who is on calm waters. Standing on the deck full of wisdom and philosophical of life you don’t expect it to hit the thinking. He cares about people and storm. You can only see the tip of the conscious about God at this age. He iceberg but deep down beneath it is very obedient and caring” said his turns out to be larger than life. father Altaf is an IT consultant who Bigger than anything you ever came hails from India and used to run a across. Iceberg or a storm that can decent IT business in Dubai before change your destiny forever and ever his destiny changed. and ever. Altaf told me “Ali loves going to I had never met him before. As I was waiting for him. I saw a man walking towards me. I recognized him from the lines on his face telling his story. I could see the helpless ness in his eyes. As he approached me, he asked Abdul Khaliq? I replied yes. He said I am Altaf.
school, he is passionate about football and loves to ride his bicycle”. Today, he is unable to do any of his three favorite things school, football and riding a bicycle. All of them are waiting for him to come back.. In 2010, Ali then five year old, had a mild fever. Thinking it’s just a seasonal thing, his father gave him some medicine. But the fever
“the little warrior bore every pain with courage and patience”
ORATOR MARCH 2014
24
later in a more severe form, attacking his brain fluid, nervous system and bone marrow. He lost his ability to walk, speak or hear. He was in comma for 12 days. It is then that Altaf lost all hopes and prayed to God “You gave Ali to me and you can take him back. Death for a child like him is going to paradise. But for him it’s not like Altaf couldn’t believe what he death through heart attack but a heard. He felt his life has hit the long painful suffering. And I am storm. scarred because can’t see him in Ali was admitted to the hospital. pain”. There he had to go through the Ali did gain consciousness within painful chemotherapy treatment few days. But the worst is not for three years. over. Doctors have advised Altaf Its beyond one’s imagination how for Bone Marrow Transplant that is much pain Ali had to bear every the last hope for Ali’s survival. But day. Imagine a five year old with the helpless father has to arrange needles pierced through his veins, one million dirhams at least. arms and chest. Me and my colleagues came to “But the little warrior bore every know about Ali through Gulfnews pain with courage and patience” and were able to collect fraction of Altaf told me. He said “whenever the cost required. But I did Ali sees me worried he says Abbu promise Altaf that I will help him don’t worry I have borne enough spread the word. pain that it doesn’t hurt me Here I am today with this plea of a anymore”. Then he says I am sorry desperate father. I can only that I caused you so much trouble. request you to help generously After showing some signs of within your means. improvement in Apr 2013. The I know there could be millions of cancer came back two months other children suffering from wouldn’t go down. Altaf took him to the doctor. The doctor ran some blood tests. When the results came the doctor told Altaf what he had never expected to hear, as a matter of fact no father ever wants to hear. He revealed that initial blood tests were showing signs of leukemia, a blood cancer.
one disease or another. I also know we can't help all of them. I only know that lets do it at least for someone we have come across. Unfortunately, I can’t give the climax to this story today. But I can give you Ali’s thoughtful message to other children suffering like him:
“My condition isn’t special. It can happen to anyone. But I want to teach them how to bear the pain. The more they experience it, the more they will get used to it, I want to tell them to be strong because we will face many tough challenges. What I’m facing is tough, but if I can face it, so can they.” You may contact Ali's father Mohammed Altaf directly on 055-770 5979 for whatever help you could do.
Abdul KHALIQ is a Finance Manager Development & Fixed Assets at Majid Al Futtaim Properties. He is a Certified Sustainability Practitioner and has a Certification in GRI Reporting. He is married with two children. Member of Dubai Chapter since Apr 2012. Abdul loves nature and has a passion for sustainability and adventure.
ORATOR MARCH 2014
25
WELCOME ABOARD
DUBAI CHAPTER WELCOMES
YOU TO THE CLUB
WELCOME ABOARD Apaar Aror Member since: January 2014 Mentored by:
Occupation Planner Organization Guess Fashions, Al Futtaim Hobbies/Interests Blogging & sleeping ; interested in retail innovations, technologies and documentaries Motivation to To gain confidence in public speaking join Toastmasters and to network with talented people
Mustaqeem Arif Member since: February 2014 Mentored by:
Occupation Marketing Professional Organization IFFCO Hobbies/Interest Reading Books, playing Cricket and Socializing Motivation to join To improve Public Speaking and Toastmasters Leadership Skills
Syed Yasir Member since: March 2014 Mentored by:
Occupation Engineer
Organization HIMA Middle East FZE Hobbies/Interests Cycling, swimming, Off-Roading Motivation to join To enhance communication and Toastmasters leaders ship skills and be a part such community for continued growth and motivation.
ORATOR MARCH 2014
27
DUBAI CHAPTER – HALL OF FAME
REVITALIZING THE MOMENTS Recapping the meetings – Jan to Mar 2014
DYNAMIC TMODS BEST SPEAKERS BEST EVALUATORS
Club Dubai Chapter
Committed Role Players
Project Speakers
EVALUATORS
Meeting No. 477 – Dated 6th January, 2014
Theme of the Meeting
New Years Resolution
Toastmaster of the Day
TM Jiyas PK
Best Role Player
TM Jiyas PK
Best Table Topic Speaker
TM Richa Khera
Best Evaluator
TM Gemma Zust
Best Speaker
TM Mohammad Murad
ORATOR MARCH 2014
28
DUBAI CHAPTER – HALL OF FAME Meeting No. 478 – Dated 20th January, 2014
Theme of the Meeting
Warriors
Toastmaster of the Day
TM Puneet Joshi
Best Role Player
TM Manish Goyal
Best Evaluator
TM Vijay Balan
Best Table Topic Speaker
TM Swapna Nair
Best Speaker
TM Abdul Khaliq
Meeting No. 479 – Dated 3rd February, 2014
Theme of the Meeting
“Valentine’s Day – Who will be your valentine?”
Toastmaster of the Day
TM Manish Goyal
Best Role Player
TM Manish Goyal
Best Evaluator
TM Richa Khera
Best Table Topic Speaker
TM Beena George
Best Speaker
TM Vinay Satheesh
ORATOR MARCH 2014
29
DUBAI CHAPTER – HALL OF FAME Meeting No. 480 – Dated 17th February, 2014
Theme of the Meeting
World Innovation Day
Toastmasters of the Day
TM Apaar Arora
Best Table Topic Speaker
TM
Best Evaluator
TM
Best Speaker
TM Abdul Khaliq
Best Role Player
TM Apaar Arora
Meeting No. 481 – Date 3rd March, 2014
Theme of the Meeting
Old Stuff Day
Toastmaster of the Day
TM Ashok Khera & TM Deepak Gulati
Best Table Topic Speaker
TM
Best Role Player
TM Ashok Khera & TM Deepak Gulati
Best Evaluator
TM Uma Radhakrishnan
Best Speaker
TM Vinay Satheesh
ORATOR MARCH 2014
30
DUBAI CHAPTER – HALL OF FAME Meeting No. 482 – Dated 17th March, 2014
Theme of the Meeting
Awkward Moments
Toastmasters of the Day
TM Qaiser Amin
Best Table Topic Speaker
Guest Mr. Sohail
Best Evaluator
TM Sandeep Adnani
Best Speaker
TM Ambuj Tripathi
Best Role Player
TM Qaiser Amin
ORATOR MARCH 2014
31
GLIMPSES OF CLUB CONTEST 2014
ORATOR MARCH 2014
32
GLIMPSES OF CLUB CONTEST 2014
ORATOR MARCH 2014
33
ANSWER THESE SIMPLE
QUESTIONS YOUR CHANCE TO WIN A
$OUVENIR
FROM TOASTMASTERS
ALL YOU NEED is this issue of Orator and answer the questions
CAN’T GET ANY SIMPLER!!! Q1: How many meeting did we have during Q3 of 2013-14? a) 12
b) 7
c) 6
Q2: Who was the 2002 World Champion of Public Speaking a) Dwayne S.
b) Mark H.
c) Ryan A.
Q3: Toastmaster’s promise: To prepare for and fulfill meeting ____________ a) assignments b) evaluation c) courtesy Q4: Winning is not everything but the _______ to win is. a) effort b) participate c) encourage
b) TM Uma
c) TM Gemma
Q6: Who reminded us the Toastmaster’s oath? a) Abdel Rahman
b) TM Aadil
a) 17-18 May
c) Col. Murad
b) 20-22 May c) 15-17 May
Q8: Where is 2014 International Convention being held? a) US
b) Malaysia
c) China
Q9: “My journey in Toastmasters has been a remarkable experience” said TM __________ a) TM Ambuj
b) TM Velu A. c) TM Deepak
Q10: So far Dubai Chapter has achieved ___ DCP points. a) 4
Q5: Who said “In addition to the contest season we had wonderful meetings this quarter.” a) TM Seetha
Q7: DTAC 2014 is on ________
b) 5
c) 7
Q11: “Positive expressions regenerate positive feelings and beliefs” said by: a) TM Richa
b) TM SSeetha c) TM Deepak
Q12: Replace your automatic “YES” with "I'll think about it." a) TM Manish
b) TM VP Menon
c) TM Vinay
Email your response to TM Abdul Khaliq VP PR @ akhaliq.mohammad@gmail.com by 30th April, 2014
Tedious? Not to worry. A link will be sent with these Q&A. All you need to do is √
*
(tick). Simple, right? Then what are you waiting for, WINNING is just
a click away
* The winner will be picked up by a draw in case of more than one correct entry