Issue 6 Winter 2012/2013
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CONTENTS Interviews
4. Itziar the Explorer 6. Kiki the professional coach/mentor
News
8. Valentine’s Special 9. Kate the Boxer
Entertaiment
15. Law of seed 17. Hall of Fame 18. Talk to Us
What bliss to be able to peacefully wake up and not have to worry about what Christmas present to buy or what costume to wear for that end of year party. We are in 2013, a new year, with new beginnings. Even, gone are all the excuses why one had to constantly pick on that delicious cake or mince pie. It’s just perfect start of the year with inspiring stories from Itziar Gomez, as she tells us how it was leaving Spain, hunting for success in foreign lands of England (page 4). Also Kate Riley, proves women can fit, while having fun at the same time, as she gets all fit with boxing (page 9). Of course it wouldn’t be a perfect start without an idol to look up to, so Kiki Maurey (page 6), gives us the pleasure to appreciate the benefits of professional coaching. With Valentine’s around the corner, we also share tips on how to indulge yourself in so many ways (page 8). Now, forget the unfriendly cold weather and keep warm as you enjoy our winter edition overflowing with warm and inspiring articles. If you do have an inspiring or empowering story that you would love to share with us, do feel free to get in touch. I would also like to thank all our supporting contributors. Until next time, peace be to you all.
Tendai, Esther, Sibongile, Musiyazviriyo
CONTRIBUTORS Writers: Elise Medder, Lauren Smith, Victoria Robinson Co-editors: Lauren Smith, James Parker Photographer: Ray Fawler Graphics Designer: Itziar Gomez
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Do It Yourself Girl magazine is a community-interest-based magazine, freely distributed around Southampton (if you have never come across our publications, do get in touch and arrangements can be made). We aim to feature motivating articles from local individuals that will inspire and empower young women to stand up and do something for themselves. Articles featured will be of diverse nature including mature women’s stories that will act as role models. Featured articles will aim to promote a benefit not only to young women in Southampton but to the whole community
What is
at large. For example, Do It Yourself Girl magazine associates with various volunteers from graphic designers, photographers, creative writer, to web designers. Some of these contributors are male that is increasing work experience opportunities for both male and female individuals. Featured articles will be thought provoking, resulting in many people seeing a possibility to do something for themselves. As a result if readers become self-dependent, strain of depending on state benefits will be reduced that is benefiting the whole community at large. Above all, Southampton will become a safer place to live in and possibly attracting more business entrepreneurs and the list goes on. In a nutshell, this is what Do It Yourself Girl magazine aims to achieve and deliver to all readers out there, particularly young women.
Do It Yourself Girl magazin Do It Yourself Girl magazine would like to introduce its “Agony Aunt”, Spiwe Samvura. Spiwe has been a Community Development Worker in the mental health service from 2008. Her main focus is on ethnic minority communities. Spiwe’s role involves: - Promoting mental health services, - Facilitating access to services, - Linking service users to services, - Delivering training in domestic abuse and impact on mental health, and challenges that arise because of culture, disability, sexuality, mental illness - Delivering training on honour based violence and forced marriage - Delivering training on female genital mutilation and how this impacts on physical and mental wellbeing - Cultural Awareness training - Mental health awareness training - Being an enquiry point for mental health services with regards to service users from ethnic minority communities
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Spiwe’s previous work experience includes 20 years in the statistical field and since 1998 her work has included couple therapy, pre and post test counselling in the HIV/Aids sector, working with domestic violence survivors, trafficked women, ex offenders, people with alcohol and substance misuse issues as well as volunteering as a counsellor for asylum seekers and refugees. Do It Yourself Girl magazine is blessed to have a very knowledgeable person to assist on its “Talk to Me” corner, (page 18), to help readers with their questions. Feel free to emails us (info@diygirl. org.uk), your concerns and our “Agony Aunt”, will be delighted to share her opinions. Always remember “A problem shared, is a problem halved”
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When the going gets tough, the tough gets going, seem to be Itziar Gomez’s favourite theme for the past eight months she’s been in England. Twenty one year old Itziar, left Spain eagerly looking for greener pastures in England, as a photo-journalist. Due to unforeseen challenges, Itziar was forced to do waitressing to sustain a living while waiting and hoping to get a job of her speciality. We were able to grab ten minutes of her attention as she explained where she was coming from and what she was hoping to achieve in life. Despite all the hardships, Itziar is determined to stay put in England until she successfully achieve what she came here for.
ITZIAR
THE EXPLORER Why did you leave Spain?
As many people might be aware, some parts of Spain have adverse economic conditions that seemed to rub on me, hence decided to come to England and see if I could make it here.
What did you do in Spain, before coming to England?
I studied media and specialised in digital photography. I also covered various projects. In 2010, I did a collaboration at Medialad, Prado, a space-oriented production. As a consultant, in 2011 I did web design and signage for Rock Museum for Barcelona.
What challenges have you faced in England?
I wasn’t able to straight away get into photojournalism. As a result I was forced to do part time waitressing to sustain a living.
It was unbelievably hard but I had to swallow my pride and adapt in order to survive.
Nothing kills as much as being forced to do something that you have no passion in, whatsoever. Several times, I packed my bags to leave, but again think that I would have admitted defeat.
How are you getting on?
I get very irritable when I am doing nothing. To keep me busy, I like going out taking random photographs. Also to keep be busy, I now and then voluntarily help a local community-interest-based magazine.
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Where do you see yourself in 2-5 years time?
I’m a hardworking and committed person. I always flourish in everything I do and see myself successful in 2-5 years time. I see myself working for bigger companies. But above all, I want to travel around the world doing my work. Napal and Africa, are my first targets.
What is your advice to all young women out there?
Take it from the horse’s mouth; life can never give you exactly what you expect. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. When you have set your dreams, never give up. Break through is always around the corner. Everything happens for a reason and usually the reasons will be for better. Never look back and regret but always learn from every decision made, as that determines and shapes our future. When passions are set, work to build goals and never give up.
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As we embark on a New Year, it is exciting to know what vast opportunities lay ahead of us. This is why we would like to introduce to you Kiki Maurey, a professional couch and mentor, keynote speaker, and facilitator. Yes, as mouthful as it may seem, it is indeed a great way though, to start the year knowing that there is someone around the corner to help
you, one way or the other. With our current financial climate, running or managing a business can be hard. One can be congested with questions such as, “Where is my business coming from, where is my business going, how come no one listens to me, how come it’s five years running and I’m still where I started from?” And the list goes on and on. Here is an opportunity to get to know someone who can help and maybe iron out a few things. We are glad to reveal what Kiki does and when it started, to a new year, with great inspirations.
“We need more women leaders and managers in businesses and organisations in this country”
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What kind of business are you in? I’m in the business of helping people be more successful. I make my living running my own small business, selling my services as a professional executive coach and keynote speaker. It’s incredibly interesting work. I have clients all over the country. Some of them run their own high growth businesses. Others are senior leaders in the corporate sector and some are just starting out in business, or need a bit of one-to-one support in their lives right now.
How and when did you start? I started out freelancing as a management consultant 22 years ago and have gained a huge amount of experience in that time. I set up my own limited company 6 years ago, at the same time as retraining as a professional Executive Coach. It was very challenging as I did this part time whilst running my consultancy business, but it was exactly the right decision and I now only ‘do what I love’ and ‘love what I do’ as a coach and keynote speaker.
Did you have anyone to help you? Not really, apart from friends who have always encouraged me. It’s important to have confidence in your own decisions and abilities as sometimes you have to do something different than what society expects of you.
What were your greatest challenges? My greatest challenges have always been about taking a risk, and finding the money to invest in my ongoing training. It’s important to remember to move out of your own comfort zone from time to time, and also to think about investing in yourself and your development… beyond new nails, hair-do, or night out.
What advice would you give to young women about being successful? Generally, girls are doing very well academically, but as they progress in their careers they tend to drop out from more senior positions. We need more women leaders and managers in businesses and organisations in this country. Part of the secret is to find ways of building women, ways of building their inner confidence as well as their skills and abilities.
Why do you think that way?
Because men tend to think they are more naturally talented than women. Sometimes they really are, and women tend to think the opposite. We tend to underestimate our achievements and abilities.My advice is; Work hard at what you want. Find ways of staying realistic but confident. Stay close to people who will support you to be brave and push your comfort zones. Don’t let one or two mistakes put you off. Life’s both a lesson and a journey so you might as well enjoy the ride!
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Kate the Boxer
“If you don’t aim big, you won’t succeed big.”
People pride on various things from cooking/baking, to dress making. Some people are proud of their flourishing businesses of all kinds while others pride themselves on the ability to keep fit. 27 year old Kate Riley, is no exception to this as she shared her passion in Boxing, telling us, all her fascinating experience of Catch 22 Active women’s Project in Southampton. As a child Kate was always encouraged by her parents to take part in a sport or have a hobby. At the age of eight she got involved in Martial Arts. Her father was very supportive, taking Kate to many tournaments. Kate competed for England. She was also kept very busy competing in hockey, football and basketball too. As Kate got older, other things in her life started to take over, studying and working full time. However, recently, Kate decided that it was time to do something for herself again. Kate had wanted to try Boxing for a while. She did an internet search for Female Boxing Sessions in Southampton, and found a club in Millbrook called Golden Ring. She contacted them and she was told about the Active Women’s Project which is run by Catch 22. This just sounded
excellent to Kate; a class just for women where she could finally see what boxing was all about and get back into a competitive sport. However Kate had some concerns as she exclaimed “The biggest barrier which I needed to face was turning up to the centre all alone and having no idea about expectations of the class and not knowing anyone in the room.” After a few weeks Kate decided to go for it, telling herself that if she doesn’t enjoy it, she would have lost nothing but at least tried. Kate wasn’t very nervous when she turned up and looked at the environment around, and saw the fighting ring. She was in fact surprised by the amount of women in the facility. Coach Kelly greeted her and straight away put her at ease. Encouraging Kelly was
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“The biggest barrier which I needed to face was turning up to the centre all alone and having no idea about expectations of the class and not knowing anyone in the room.”
very supportive, throughout Kate’s first session. Kate got motivated and soon her nerves went and she started having a great time Thereafter, Kate continued going for Boxing sessions each week. When asked why she chose boxing, Kate explained “I chose Boxing because it is an individual competitive sport. Training is very much a team event. All the women, particularly Kelly, are supportive, encouraging and praise each other. It is almost like having another family around me. The sessions are great for releasing those day to day stresses of life. I enjoy the social aspect and when new people come to the class I always ensure that I support them as I remember how that felt on my first day.”Over the last six months Kate continued to attend the Boxing sessions. She trained extremely hard and had her first competitive fight, being the first female boxer to fight for golden ring. Kate won the fight. Kate revealed “Watching the 2012 Olympics, particularly the women’s boxing inspired me so much and now training with so many other talented male and female boxers has made me think, if
they can do it why can’t I?” Kate’s ultimate goal would be to compete in the 2016 Olympics, as she was taught “If you don’t aim big, you won’t succeed big.” Boxing has had a huge impact on Kate’s life. She has limitless energy during the day and feels that there is so much more to life than just going to work. She has become extremely passionate about the sport and determined to succeed and feel the fittest and healthiest she has ever been. Kate has also made a new circle of friends whom she knows had the same preconceived ideas about walking into that first session. Kate is very glad she did. Kate’s piece of advice to all those females who want to take part in sport sessions but might be facing barriers similar to hers is “Just “feel the fear and do it anyway. You don’t have to choose Boxing there are plenty of female sports sessions out there. Just face your fears and go along to a session. Make new friends, feel motivated, set yourself goals and aspirations and hit them, because anything is possible and there are no limits to your potential.”
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10 Ideas for the
SINGLE GIRL
So, it’s January- New Year celebrations have been and gone, the sales have commenced and Christmas is becoming a distant memory. But what does that leave us with next? Easter? Oh no, there’s a little something in between, something during the month of February which I know some of you are pretending to forget about…
1.
Perfume and/or clothes- why not invest in a good old bit of retail therapy, just because someone else didn’t buy it for you doesn’t mean you can’t feel good about it! Or perhaps a new pair of shoes... who doesn’t love shoes? Buy a pair that make you look great and feel more confident about the amazing girl that you already are- feel good, and you’ll look good!
2.
Dinner- going out for dinner on Valentine’s day isn’t reserved strictly for dates. Why not make a booking and arrange a meal out with family or friends? Remember, relationships will come and go but these people are the most important, as they will always be there for you.
3.
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Buy Some Flowers- they smell nice, they brighten up a room, and generally, why the heck not? Also, research suggests that flowers have in instant impact on happiness, and long-lasting positive effects on moods… even more reason to get a few of your favourite blooms!
Go To The Cinema- another thing not just reserved for couples on February 14th, why not grab a mate and hit the cinema? Go and see that action comedy you’ve been wanting to see, or how about even an action or horror film… watch whatever you want, but if you’re feeling down, strictly now romcoms!
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Yes, it’s Valentine’s day, and for all you single girls out there, the prospect of spending February 14th alone might seem about as enjoyable as someone slapping you once you’ve been sunburnt. Somewhere during the 15th century, the day once associated with the priest Valentine of Rome started to become a day used to express ones love for one another, an idea which has been dragged (lucky for some, and not so much for others) right through to here the twenty-first century.However, if the idea of being alone is a bit much, or the thought of exchanging soppy wishes with someone else just frankly sickens you, then fear not, here are some suggestions for you single ladies on Valentine’s Day!
ON 5.
Valentine’s Day By Elise Medder
Try out a new hobbie- why not make the most of having some time to yourself? Whether it be by starting a blog, learning a new language, dancing, yoga... or even knitting! (Surprisingly therapeutic).
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Games Night- have your favourite friends round, and have a great night in laughing, playing games and generally enjoying each other’s company, in the knowledge that these people love you for who you are.
Buy Some Ice Cream- a great poet once said that ice cream solves everything… well, actually they didn’t, I said that. But in all truthfulness, who doesn’t like a little treat of something sweet from time to time?
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Exercise- post-ice cream, you might feel like you need this! No, I’m not telling you, you look fat, I’m telling you that exercise is a great way to boost endorphins- these are your natural feel-good chemicals that are released by doing things such as exercising, which works in turn to boost your mood and make you feel great.
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Have A Romantic HomeCooked Dinner- Ok, so not so much “romantic”, but why does it need to be? Get some friends round and have a blast watching yourself transform into the next Nigella… even if your specialities only extend to beans on toast. Experiment, and overall have fun!
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Laughter- Not only is it said to burn calories and to boost your immune system, but it takes a considerably larger amount of muscles to frown than it does to smile- so smile! It’s your best accessory, after all. So what if everyone’s busy? Snuggle up at home and watch your favourite comedy or standup act, and you’ll be giggling in no time.
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Active Women a Sports project
Active Women is a sports project running in Southampton for ladies aged 16+. The Active Women’s Project is a Sport England funded initiative, to improve women’s self esteem and give ladies positive activities to undertake. The Project is in place to encourage ladies who do very little exercise or nothing at all across the City of Southampton, in particular those from areas including, Weston , Woolston, Millbrook , Redbridge and parts of the inner City, including Northam, Newtown and St Mary’s. Active Women delivers a number of female sports activities and classes for those who want to enjoy, relax, meet new people and have fun in attending. Sports including Badminton, Canoeing, Rowing, Netball, Ski and Snowboarding, Boxercise and Boxing. Active Women also delivers a variety of other activities. Visit our facebook and twitter pages for more information. One of the Active Women’s sports includes Boxing. Active Women works in partnership with a number of key partners within Southampton, including the Golden Ring Boxing Club in delivering a female-only-beginners’ Boxing sessions, on a Thursday, from 5.30pm till 6.30pm and on Saturdays from 9.30am- 10.30am at MP3 Building in Millbrook. Kate Riley has been attending the following Active Women sessions and she has shared her experience: you can also watch Kate in training by visiting the following clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pq0TJZSU60Q Active Women, working for Catch22 which is a local charity with a national reach helping young people out, as we believe nothing is impossible. Catch22 works with young people and others who find themselves in seemingly impossible situations. To find out more on how you can get involved in the Active Women project, please contact Ian.butcher@catch-22.org.uk or call 02380 658262 or visit our facebook or twitter pages. Active Women Catch22 Active Womens Project @C22activewomens
Advertise with us Double Page Spread (A3) 1/2 Page (A5) Full Page (A4) For details about advertising your business with Do It Yourself Girl magazine, email info@diygirl.co.uk or call 07761 063214 12 DIY GIRL MAGAZINE
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TRAFFIC LIGHT SIGNALS How about ending some bad habits, where are you going to flash the red light in 2013? It’s usually easy to start at the beginning of the year as research also shows that resolutions put in place at the beginning of the year, stay put more than randomly set resolutions. What do you hope to stop in 2013? It’s never easy but commitment gets you there. Make it a signed, sealed and delivered deal and see how it goes. Even if it means seeking professional help, why not go for it, if that is going to change you for better.
It’s a New Year, with new resolutions. People start new things while at the same stopping old unworthy habits. So, we are reminding you again to revisit your resolutions and see what is it that you want to continue with in 2013. Where are you flashing your green light? What great things do you want to take with you on board? Is it pursuing that new job, enrolling on that new course, or starting that long thought business or project? It can even be overlooked things such as adopting an exercising routine to help keep you fit, or simply indulging yourself in a new hobby such as cooking at home instead of buying take away everyday or just picking up great habits such as going to bed early so that you can wake up early and geared to start your next day fresh, calm and not rushing around and end irritable.
Last but not least, it’s human nature to be cautious. Where are you flashing your amber light? Taking precautions is wise. What concerns you, or make you stop and think twice before proceeding? In life, it is always advisable to be careful before going ahead. So, again, it is your choice, to sit down and think deeply about what constitute tour traffic lights. Even if it means writing it down and constantly checking your list, that will be great. From Do It Yourself girl magazine, we do wish you a clean, fresh, and vibrant New Year, and just keep flashing your traffic lights.
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What is Godfrey House Trust?
Godfrey House Trust, is a UK registered charity (Charity Number: 1141835), working between England and Zimbabwe, under the Notarial Deed of Trustee Number: MA 6412/2011. It aims to improve the well-being of orphans and homeless children in Zimbabwe by providing healthcare, education services and promoting children’s rights. Godfrey House, will promote the facilitation of projects that will meet children’s needs to enable them to grow up within the love of a family and within the security of a home, so that they can fulfil their potentials.
What does Godfrey House Trust do?
Godfrey House believes all children deserve a life, free from injustice and abuse. Godfrey House wants to improve the lives of extremely vulnerable children by eradicating child abuse and exploitation, by enhancing child-social justice systems and ensuring that children are involved in decisions and matters that affect their lives. In short, Godfrey House aims to support orphans and street children in Zimbabwe by providing health care and education, improving access to education, and reducing hazardous child labour. This will also include stopping the exploitation of girls and reducing abuse in schools.
What does Godfrey House Trust believes in?
-Godfrey House believes that the poor are highly motivated and can be very successful when given an opportunity especially to an education. -People are by nature generous, and will help others if given the opportunity to do so in a transparent, accountable way. -All children have a right to a voice, which should be respected and heard. -The first step in the road out of poverty for any community is to empower the local population to take responsibility and be accountable for their own future. D.I.Y Girl magazine, would like to invite you to join in the sponsoring (either in cash or kind), of Godfrey House Trust so that it’s aims can be fulfilled. For more information, simply visit www.godfreyhousetrust.com. Any postal correspondences can be made to The Secretary, Godfrey House Trust, Suite 28, Royal Mail House, Terminus Terrace, Southampton, Hampshire, SO14 3FD or telephone 023 8063 2672 / 078 6913 6412.
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The Law of the Seed Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, each with ten seeds. That’s a lot of seeds! We might ask, “Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more trees?” Nature has something to teach us here. It’s telling us: “Most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once.” This might mean: You’ll attend twenty interviews to get one job. You’ll interview forty people to find one good employee. You’ll talk to fifty people to sell one house, car, vacuum cleaner, insurance policy, idea. And you might meet a hundred acquaintances to find one special friend. When we understand the “Law of the Seed”, we don’t get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims. Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.
In a Nutshell Successful people fail more often. They plant more seeds.
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We were touched when we received an email from Sarah Richardson from Chandlers Ford, requesting us to share lyrics below, with all Do It Yourself Girl magazine readers. Sarah was recently involved in a car accident that left her with only one leg. This forced Sarah to take some time out from university, when she was now in her second year studying medicine, so she could recover. Due to her condition, Sarah had told herself that there was no way she was going back to university with one leg, although she hadn’t told her parents thoughts. Sarah stated that at first she came across our previous publication (Issue 6), and read a story about Emma Louise Mitchell, who had multiple sclerosis but was still eager to continue with university. It so happened on the same day, when Sarah was in hospital for a follow-up appointment, she overheard and listened attentively to the lyrics below. Sarah stated she couldn’t believe the coincidence of reading an inspiring article and listening to a song that had encouraging lyrics. This immediately made Sarah change her mind about giving up her studies as she thought she can be something better even with one leg. Because of this, Sarah felt it necessary to share the lyrics will all our readers as she feels we are special and able despite our misfortunes, and that we should never underestimate our potentials, as it’s never over until it’s completely over. To Sarah, we do wish you the best of luck with your studies when you do resume university, the best of luck with your future and above all, the best of luck with your health.
“Hall Of Fame”
Yeah, You could be the greatest You can be the best You can be the king kong banging on your chest You could beat the world You could beat the war You could talk to God, go banging on his door You can throw your hands up You can beat the clock You can move a mountain You can break rocks You can be a master Don’t wait for luck Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself Standing in the hall of fame (yeah) And the world’s gonna know your name (yeah) Cause you burn with the brightest flame (yeah) And the world’s gonna know your name (yeah) And you’ll be on the walls of the hall of fame You could go the distance You could run the mile You could walk straight through hell with a smile You could be the hero You could get the gold Breaking all the records that thought never could be broke Do it for your people Do it for your pride How you ever gonna know if you never even try? Do it for your country
Do it for your name Cause there’s gonna be a day When you’re standing in the hall of fame (yeah) And the world’s gonna know your name (yeah) Cause you burn with the brightest flame (yeah) And the world’s gonna know your name (yeah) And you’ll be on the walls of the hall of fame Be a champion, Be a champion, Be a champion, Be a champion
On the walls of the hall of fame Be students Be teachers Be politicians Be preachers Be believers Be leaders Be astronauts Be champions Be truth seekers Be students Be teachers Be politicians Be preachers Be believers Be leaders Be astronauts Be champions Standing in the hall of fame (Yeah, yeah, yeah) And the world’s gonna know your name
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(Yeah, yeah, yeah) Cause you burn with the brightest flame (Yeah, yeah,yeah) And the world’s gonna know your name And you’ll be on the walls of the hall of fame (You can be a champion) You could be the greatest (You can be a champion) You can be the best (You can be a champion) You can be the king kong banging on your chest (You can be a champion) You could beat the world (You can be a champion) You could beat the war (You can be a champion) You could talk to God, go banging on his door (You can be a champion) You can throw your hands up (You can be a champion) You can beat the clock (You can be a champion) You can move a mountain (You can be a champion) You can break rocks (You can be a champion) You can be a master (You can be a champion) Don’t wait for luck (You can be a champion) Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself (You can be a champion) Standing in the hall of fame
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! s u o t k l Ta
! s u o t Talk
I work as a housemaid or nanny. My duties consist of housework (cooking sometimes, cleaning, gardening sometimes, washing up and ironing sometimes), and also look after two kids aged six and eight. I’m paid £300 per month. In return, I get free accommodation, my own bedroom, free food and get Sundays off, which I am allowed to go away or stay at home. To raise extra income, I started plaiting/relaxing/ colouring/retouching etc, people’s hair, during my off days. This has turned out to give me at least £200-£300 extra on top of my usual wages. Recently my employer started passing cynic comments that I was misusing her house to my own benefit. I felt unappreciated considering the work load I do for her, for just £300. I feel I am being underpaid. I feel I deserve at least a minimum wage but how can I go about raising this topic with my employers without losing my job?
a.The minimum wage is £6.19 b.Do you have a contract which states your duties and how many hours you are supposed to be working? c.How much do you think you would pay for accommodation, food, water and electricity, transport and food if you moved out?
d.When you started doing people’s hair did you ask your employers if you could bring strangers into their home? This could be a safety issue especially as there are young children in the house.
e.It is within your rights to discuss your wages with your employers and you should not be fired for that. f.You can also contact the Citizens Advice Bureau in you are for advice
Again, from your explanation, I take it you are a Live-in domestic worker. You might be exempt from getting a National Minimum Wage (NMW). Under the National Minimum Wage Act 1999, there are certain regulations that might see you treated as member of the family and not an employer, for the following reasons: a. You live in your employers’ house and you are provided free accommodation. b. There also seem to be sharing of tasks and activities. c. Although not a member of the family, you seem to be treated as one. With all this, your employers might not be forced by law to give you any wages at all. I’m a 22 year old young lady and live with my elder sister who is 29. My sister has been married for three years with a daughter aged two. My brother in-law has started uncomfortably flirting with me only in the absence of my sister. Whenever my sister is there, he hardly talks to later on flirt with me. My workplace is about twenty minutes walk from home and lately he has been insisting on offering me transport to work, even if it meant him arriving to his workplace very early as he has to drop me a little bit early than his start time. He has gone to an extent of opening car doors for me which he never does for my sister. I questioned him to which he brushed me off by simple saying my sister insisted she doesn’t want anyone opening doors for her. I have sort of questioned my sister how she currently feels about him, which she was quick to show off how smitten they are. I think my sister is just too blind to see. I don’t want to start polluting her mind over her husband while at the same time I don’t want to be a part of her husband’s deception. I really don’t know how to go about this without breaking my sister’s feeling and causing mistrust towards her husband. What can I do?
a. You could look for your own accommodation b. How have you tried to stop him flirting with you? Have you told him how uncomfortable you feel? c. You could tell him that if he carries on you will tell your sister d. What would you do if he went further than just flirting?
e. You could stop accepting transport from him and you could tell him that you are going to tell your sister
about this and then you would not be part of this deception. He could be doing this with other women as well.
f. You asked your sister how she feels about him, if she had said she does not love him would it then have made it alright for him to flirt with you or would you have told her that he was flirting with you.
g. Why do you want your sister to carry on trusting him when he is not trustworthy?
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