Culture | Connecting with the communion of saints

PRAYING WITH THE SAINTS of Autumn

During October, we celebrate some significant feast days: Saint Therese of the Child Jesus (1), Guardian Angels (2), Saint Francis of Assisi (4), Our Lady of the Rosary (7), Saint Teresa of Avila (15), Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque (16), Saint Luke (18) and Saints Simon and Jude (28).

Each saint reflects some particular aspect of God for us; their lives are intended to encourage us, guide us and inspire us to live for God. I suggest we pay close attention to two of them this month: Saint Therese of the Child Jesus and Saint Margaret Mary Alacocque.

St. Therese keeps watch over the congregation from the choir loft at St. Therese Little Flower Parish in Kansas City, MO.

Saint Therese of the Child Jesus

Therese loved the saints and wanted to be one. She wanted to be a missionary, yet knew God was calling her to the cloister. Instead of just dreaming about being a missionary saint, she allowed God to form her as he wanted. So, first, she submitted to God’s plan for her life.

Then, as she entered into a more mature spiritual life, she realized how little and helpless she was to imitate the great saints as she saw them: Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross. So she asked Jesus’ arms to be her elevator, to lift her up to God the Father.

In a very simple, child-like, humble spirit, she kept asking God for help, as a child would ask a loving parent. And God did not fail her! Her trust became so unbounding that, on her death bed at 24, when she was corrected for an irritable response, instead of falling into understandable self-pity, she just rejoiced: “O, another opportunity to ask forgiveness and rely on the mercy of God!” Her path to sanctity became known as the “little way.” She showed how accessible true holiness can be for each one of us.

Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque

Saint Margaret also was a French religious sister, but was very different from Saint Therese. Sister Margaret Mary lived in the 1600s. Christ appeared to her frequently, acting himself as her spiritual director, and confiding to her the mission of establishing devotion to his Sacred Heart. It was Saint Margaret Mary who began the practice of a Holy Hour before the Blessed Sacrament and the First Friday devotions. Jesus himself called her the beloved disciple of his Sacred Heart. In showing Margaret Mary his burning heart, Christ said, “Behold, this heart which has so loved men and is so little loved in return.”

In the midst of all these powerful revelations, she experienced the disbelief of her community and superiors, which led to tremendous suffering that she endured in humility and charity, offering it that God’s love might be known.

In today’s world, most of us, even strong Christians and Catholics, do not begin to comprehend the love that God has for each one of us.

Saint Margaret Mary suffered much — mentally, emotionally, physically — to proclaim the love of the Sacred Heart of Jesus for each one of us.

Photo by Megan Marley

Pause and reflect

How can you grow in humility, charity and child-like obedience to God? During October, ask these saints to help you. Reflect on their lives for encouragement and wisdom to run on the path to holiness and to run, so as to win!

Connecting to the

COMMUNION OF SAINTS

By Megan Marley

The feasts of All Saints (Nov. 1) and All Souls (Nov. 2) remind me of being a kid.

Every year around harvest, a mob of saintly costumed children and supervising parents descended upon my family’s farm for these feasts. Families would socialize, eat picnic foods and play “guess the saint” with facts the kids researched. After that game, we’d demolish a homemade dragon piñata (usually St. George or St. Michael dealt the final blow) and say a few prayers for the souls in purgatory. Today, we’ve all grown up and moved away with families of our own, but most of us maintain some level of friendship and practice of the faith.

All Saints’ and All Souls’ Days provided an opportunity for connection not only with friends, but also with those who have died in Christ. The communion of saints isn’t just the saints in heaven, it’s also we who are striving for sainthood here on earth and those who are being cleansed after death in preparation for it: one family of God, connected through prayer.

But if you’re anything like me, it’s hard to “pick up the phone” for prayer — I’m busy; I’m distracted; I’m tired — excuses, excuses. One thing I find helpful is to create a space for prayer that physically reminds me.

This fall, consider creating a home altar that will remind you of our spiritual relationship in the communion of saints and to connect with them, and ultimately with God, through prayer.

TIPS FOR A HOME ALTAR:

Getty Images/TRAVELAR I U M

1.SET ASIDE A LOCATION

It doesn’t need to be huge. A closet, side table, bookshelf, fireplace mantle or windowsill will do, as long as it’s accessible yet clearly set apart for prayer. Ours is a little curio cabinet just inside the entrance of our small apartment.

2.CHOOSE A FOCAL POINT

A main piece of artwork will help focus your attention during prayer — a crucifix, statue, icon or picture are options. You can also surround it with other art pieces and decor, and change out pieces for liturgical seasons or saints’ feast days.

3.ADD PRAYER RESOURCES

What helps you to pray? Perhaps the family bible and prayer cards/books, a holy water font, rosaries, sacred music, a cushion to kneel or a chair to sit on. Our family fave for evening rosary time is a lit blessed candle, plus a chewable rosary to keep little hands busy.

4.MAKE TIME TO PRAY

Here’s the hardest piece: making time for prayer. I’ve found making it part of transitions during the day helps to ease into a routine — a quick prayer before heading out the door for work, a pause with the toddler between playtime to naptime, daily Mass readings with morning coffee, etc. Talk with your friends or read up on the life of a saint to see what else might work.

How do I love someone I CAN’T STAND?

Q

DEAR FATHER JOE: I know Jesus says we have to love everybody, but I really can’t stand one of the people I work with; we simply can’t work together. I’ve prayed about it, but no matter how hard I pray, I get angry just thinking of them. How can I love them?

In the know with Father Joe

Father Joe Krupp is a Catholic priest and former comedian.

A

First things first, you are not alone! This is a very common problem that, I would imagine, everyone experiences at some point.

As Christians, we recognize how utterly important it is that we love. When Jesus was giving his last series of speeches before his Passion and death, he reiterated this over and over: “This I command you, love one another.” I think most of us know that, but we forget the end of that sentence: “like I love you.”

Jesus isn’t simply giving us a command to love. He is telling us that our love needs to change and grow so that it looks just like his love — powerful stuff. If we don’t embrace that, we end up slapping the “love” label on everything we agree with and everything we want, until we hit the brick wall of people we don’t like. Then things can get very, very confusing.

So, let’s go step by step and see if we can’t figure out a way to love people we don’t like.

It seems to me that the first step has to do with that distinction — love vs. like. In that distinction, we find something I assume you’ll view as good news: As far as I can recall, Jesus never commanded any of us to like anyone.

To like someone normally indicates that we want to be around them. Maybe

Getty Images/kali9

they make us happy, maybe we share hobbies or have complementary personalities — who knows? Whatever it is, there are people we run into or work with whom we want to be around. These are people we like.

Love, however, is something different.

When we are called to love one another as Christ loves us, then we want to make sure that we are adapting what we feel, what we want, to what Christ shows us. Love is not a feeling, it’s a commitment. I think the best way to think of it is this: When we love someone, we desire what is best for them. When we love someone, we act and move in a way that helps them get to heaven.

When you think of your co-worker, you feel irritation, anger, discomfort — things like that. That’s OK; you can’t help it. What you want to do is make sure that those feelings do not compel you to sabotage them or be apathetic when they need your assistance or support.

To be clear, you do not have to choose to be around them. You don’t have to pretend you like them. You don’t have

to volunteer to hang out with them or be “besties.” What your faith in Jesus requires is that you love them.

What I’d like to do now is offer you some suggestions as to ways you can love them without liking them.

First, I want to be clear about an important distinction. It may be that the reason we don’t like someone is because they are wicked or they act wickedly. If that is the case, we simply avoid them and make sure we don’t put ourselves in a position to be hurt by them. Keep the treasure that is you safe from evil, narcissistic people — I believe that is common sense. What I am dealing with here are the people we don’t like simply because our personalities clash, or they have different priorities than us, or different worldviews. I invite you to remember that your dislike doesn’t mean they are bad, dishonest, evil or any such thing. What we don’t want to do is pretend that our personality conflict means anything of value. Until the person we do not like proves that they are evil or untrustworthy, we should be awfully careful not to pretend that our dislike has any real value. We should be careful not to ascribe awful motives to the person's actions or decisions.

Second, make sure you are meek in regard to them. To be meek means to refuse to do harm, and that is what you need to do. Remember — you don’t have to volunteer to be around them any more than your work requires. You don’t have to give them your time or your inner self in the same way you do a friend. You just need to make sure that you are not letting your personality conflict interfere with their life. Don’t sabotage them, don’t undermine them.

Third, no gossip. Don’t talk about them behind their back or get dragged into collecting horror stories about them. Don’t spread malicious talk or speculation.

Finally, pray for their well-being and salvation. Ask God every day to bless them and guide them home to the kingdom of heaven. When they irritate you or get on your nerves, ask God to soothe you and to strengthen your commitment to act for their benefit.

So there it is! A guide to help us to love those we do not like.

May God bless our efforts to be the people he created us to be. Enjoy another day in God’s presence.

“When we love someone, we act and move in a way that helps them get to heaven.”