FALL/WINTER 2010
PFLAGPOLE PFLAG’S BIANNUAL NEWSLETTER
PFLAG State and Regional Conferences: Keeping it Local “PFLAG members know the reality of creating change – that our work has to start where we live, and be responsive to our specific local and regional challenges and differences.”
“All politics is local.” This often-cited quote from longtime House speaker Tip O’Neil summarized what many people know: what happens in our backyards and communities ultimately influences what happens in our country. In other words, change starts at home. And in 2010, PFLAG members across the country embraced this message to people in full force. As of August, PFLAG members – in partnership with PFLAG National Staff, Regional Directors, and National Board – have hosted more than nine state and regional conferences…and we’re not done yet. “PFLAG members know the reality of creating change – that our work has to start where we live, and be responsive to our specific local and regional challenges and differences,” said Jody M. Huckaby, PFLAG’s executive director. “When we are able to help organize and provide training for state and regional events, we know
that we’re equipping members in places big and small to take what they’ve learned and literally transform their communities to move equality forward.” When it came to having an opportunity to network and participate in skill-building trainings, there was nothing that could deter PFLAGers from getting to conferences. Nationwide, many members were willing to cross state and regional lines to make the important connections
that they need to advance PFLAG’s mission in their communities. But no matter how far PFLAGers traveled, they found commonalities with other members, chances to rejuvenate old connections, and opportunities to forge new ones, too. Networking Rules Time for networking was consistently identified as a big draw for many conferences and a highlight for participants. The PFLAG Carolinas conference organizers had the innovative idea to include a Continued on page 6
MESSAGE FROM THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
Welcome to the Fall edition of the PFLAGpole! Each and every member of the PFLAG staff at the National Office have the privilege to work with our hundreds of chapter leaders across the country to help advance our mission of support, education and advocacy. This edition of the PFLAGpole highlights some of this critical work being done by chapters and leaders in their own words and from the perspective of those here in the National Office who work with them.
same core message and mission: PFLAG is a family-centered organization available to support families (whether it’s parents, siblings, allies, or LGBT people themselves). It is on that foundation of support that the work of education and advocacy takes place. Our chapters which are the most successful in their local communities are those which have built solid programs on the foundation of family acceptance and affirmation, moving from inward and internal support to outward service and action to benefit everyone they encounter.
On pages 5 and 6, you’ll have the chance For me, traveling around the country havto hear about some of this success. PFLAG ing the chance to meet with PFLAG chapRegional Director Kay Heggestad profiles ter members is the most rewarding part of chapter leader Karen Baker and her inspimy job as Executive rational work in Director of PFLAG Madison, WI. National. I’ve said For me, traveling around Meanwhile, many times that the country having the Regional Director one of the things chance to meet with PFLAG Kathy Reim offers that makes PFLAG chapter members is the a great story of so unique is the most rewarding part of my how PFLAG chapincredible diversity ters in Oregon are job as Executive Director of of our chapters – responding to the PFLAG National. whether it is in need for family regional differand ally voices in ences, the focus of grassroots organizing in the state, resultthe work being done, the kinds of meming in tremendous networking and new bers in the chapter, and even the chapter partnerships for the chapter. leadership style, PFLAG chapters prove that they are able to be responsive in their approach to their communities. I experience this unique nature first-hand every time I am on a road trip or participate in a state or regional PFLAG conference. Finding ways for us to support our chapters – especially in light of the different needs of each chapter – certainly keeps the team at PFLAG National on its toes! In this issue, we’ve got a feature on the availability of webinar-based training for chapters (p. 4). Also, be sure to check out www.pflag.org to learn more about our newest versions of Bringing the Message Home and the PFLAG National Chapter Manual as well as our guide to state and regional conferences. Regardless of the differences in how our chapters do our work, we all have the
For me, I’ve had many great opportunities to work with our chapters across the country as we provide Straight for Eqality in the Workplace training. This training program which is being led by PFLAG National, features local chapter members as part of its program content. I’m always proud to introduce our PFLAG parents and see the transformative power that their personal, local stories have on participants. One of these recent occasions was in May, when Regional Director and PFLAG New Orleans President, Julie Thompson, joined me and Jean-Marie Navetta, PFLAG National’s Director of Communications and Equality Partnerships, in a special training at Chevron in Covington, LA. After presenting as part of the training,
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Julie reflected on the power of the PFLAG National and local chapter partnership this way: “I worked with Jody and Jean-Marie as part of a 90-minute workshop on the role that straight allies can play in advancing a corporation’s diversity and inclusion goals. I told part of my coming out story as a straight ally at work and the challenges I faced. It was great to see how well the Chevron employees related to my story. Our chapter’s partnership with PFLAG National helped PFLAG New Orleans strengthen our relationship with the local offices of a global corporation. It’s a real win-win for everyone.” I hope you will enjoy the profiles of our 2010 PFLAG National Scholarship winners on page 10. These talented young people have been engaged in their local communities, helping to advance LGBT equality. They are lesbian, gay, bi, trans and straight allies. We’re proud to hit a record high in receiving more than 1,000 applications this year, and thrilled that our National Scholarship Program is having such an impact at the local level. For many of our chapters, particularly those that do not have their own local PFLAG scholarship program, our national program provides them with a critical entrée into their local high schools, school counselors’ offices and youth centers. This is another important way that PFLAG National partners with local chapters to serve their local community needs. In closing, know that all of the PFLAG National Board, Regional Directors, and the staff remain committed to deepening our partnerships with our local chapters. Together, we raise the profile of PFLAG and move our mission forward, supporting families, educating communities and advocating for full equality.
Jody M. Huckaby
A Swan Song, the Farewell Address, Etc. By John Cepek, National Board President As soon as Jean-Marie Navetta asked me to write a “swan song” for the PFLAGpole to mark the end of my tenure as national president, I recoiled. That’s like asking me to speak at my own wake, I thought. She’s got some nerve. I calmed down and began to think about what to write, hitting first upon quotations: “And now the end is near and so I face the final curtain.” I like that one, and if I also used “there were times I’m sure you knew when I bit off more than I could chew,” those who know me would nod their heads in agreement. I also wanted to take a page out of Washington’s book and warn PFLAG against “entangling foreign alliances” but was too lazy to confirm the quotation. By the time I rejected “And now he belongs to the ages” because I’m not dying, just leaving—sob—the presidency, I decided to forego quotations in favor of some memories and some observations. After all, “old soldiers never die, they just . . .” Sorry. Memories… In October 2007 when we unveiled Straight for Equality at the National Press Club, Cyndi Lauper said America’s founding values demand full civil rights for LGBT citizens, demonstrating her profound humanity and patriotism. In June 2008, after Sam Thoron and I gave an award to Cyndi in the basement of a bar in Berkeley, CA, she turned to me and said, “Let’s dance.” Yes, I danced with Cyndi Lauper, and she didn’t laugh, once again demonstrating her profound humanity. At the Seventeenth International AIDS Conference in Mexico City in 2008, Char and I attended a PFLAG meeting. More than 70 people met in a large apartment. The meeting began at 5:00 and was still going strong at 10:00. Two of the members who had lived in the U.S. claimed that the climate for LGBT people is better in Mexico! Travel does weaken stereotypes. At the conference we also attended a pres-
entation by a panel that included a member of a PFLAG chapter from the People’s Republic of China. Despite our surprise and delight, no entangling alliances resulted.
fast our heads would spin—no more waiting years for the passage of a fully inclusive ENDA or the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell or national marriage equality.
At chapter meetings across the country, I’ve been amazed by the creativity and dedication of PFLAGers. There are far too many for me to mention here.
Our strength, our very reason for existence, lies in our chapters. Every thing we do as an organization should be devoted to helping our chapters thrive. I almost wrote devoted to “supporting” our chapters, but
Observations… In the world of LGBT advocacy organizations, Straight for Equality embodies PFLAG’s unparalleled generosity. We ask potential allies to come out as actual allies in any way they can. We don’t demand any particular approach. We don’t even ask them to join PFLAG. But we do encourage them to open their hearts and minds and help us move equality forward in any way they can. And we do provide the stories and the role models to help each and every one of those allies. The longer I work for PFLAG, the more I’m convinced that there is nothing more important for me to do with my life. I hope you share that conviction. PFLAG guides us in working for understanding, compassion, and justice. This work and this organization demand to be taken seriously. If you just want a diverting way to kill time, take up bowling, stamp collecting, or something else. We need a bigger and better PFLAG. Not too long ago I asked the board to contemplate a PFLAG ten times bigger and better than what it is today, PFLAG10X. We need more chapter members, more staff, and more other resources, especially money. What if we had two million chapter members, at least one staff member assigned to each of the states, and a budget that would enable us to publish more materials and distribute them at no cost to our chapters? What if we had the critical mass to demand national commitment to LGBT equality? Not only political leaders but also the millions of potential straight allies we have only begun to approach would join the movement. Change would happen so 3
“support” is too negative a word for hundreds—why not thousands?—of grassroots organizations running full speed ahead to secure civil rights and sociocultural affirmation for LGBT Americans. Based upon my years of working with Jody and the other members of our staff, I can confidently say they continually evaluate their work by its impact upon our chapters. Born as an organization devoted to helping individuals in pain and confusion, PFLAG quite understandably emphasized support over education and advocacy. We tend not to expect much from hurting people. Once people hurt less, they should do more, however, embarking upon the next two stages of the journey, education and advocacy. We need to expect more from those we serve and from ourselves. PFLAG needs our time, our energy, our intelligence, and at least some of our money. I’m proud that I’ve had the honor to serve as your national president. In closing, I’d like to thank my family— Char, John, and Mick—for providing the perfect mixture of sexual orientations, idealism, intelligence, encouragement, and love I needed to give me the nerve to accept the job. And now “the days dwindle down to a precious few.”
With a summer of great in-person PFLAG conferences and state events wrapping up, the team at PFLAG National is ready to keep the momentum going with a new learning tool: Online learning with PFLAG!
PFLAG TRAINING COMING TO YOUR COMPUTER SOON!
Welcome to the Webinar
you can perform these tests prior to the session start time.) You’ll also need a phone line so that you can call the conference number to listen to the speaker.
Using PFLAG’s new webinar system, PFLAG National staff has started bringing online training to members across the country, and no one needs to go further than a home computer. Using a combination of a web-based interface and our conference call system, a growing list of trainings and workshops are becoming available to members nationwide.
When you respond to one of the invitations to participate, you’ll be given a participant code for both the call and the online content. Just enter your information as sent to you to get started.
How Does It Work? Once the webinar starts, getting around is simple. The training will be controlled by the presenter, but you can interact to get the information that you need. Want to ask a question of the presenter? Click the “Raise Hand” button to get the trainer’s attention. Do you have a question you’d like to ask to the group – or just one person? Use the chat feature to start talking. And since the training audio is coming to you by conference call, you can always speak up.
“Online learning is great because it gives access to everyone, regardless of where they’re based,” said Jody M. Huckaby, PFLAG’s executive director. “So for many people who haven’t been able to connect in-person, we’re adding an interactive, visual dimension to the training we provide to help strengthen chapters and build skills.”
I’m Ready! What’s Next? What Do I need?
Trainings have already been piloted for several Straight for Equality workshops as well as ones on effective branding. New online trainings will be announced via PFLAGall, on the website, and in communications from Field Coordinators. If you’re interested in learning more, be sure to contact your PFLAG Field Coordinator.
Getting started is simple, and chances are that you’ve already got the tools that you need to join in. You’ll need a computer with internet access – dial-up access is not recommended because of the speed required to process the data. For many computers, using the newest version of Internet Explorer is best, but we suggest that you test the system prior to webinar start time. (There is a speed and compatibility test link on the login page where
See you online!
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CHAPTER SPOTLIGHT: Oregon State and PFLAG Chapters:
Innovation and Organization Profiled by Kathy Reim, Pacific Northwest Regional Director With an effort to repeal the state’s 2004 ban on marriage equality, PFLAG chapters in Oregon are organizing in innovative and unique ways to band chapters across the Beaver state together, share resources and best practices, and amplify the message that marriage equality is about basic fairness and family values. Building on much of the work started by Patricia Keeney, PFLAG Oregon State President Teri Noble is working with chapters throughout the state to help build strong and visible chapters. In the Portland Metro area, the focus of members has been on chapter development. With the emergence of a new satellite chapter of PFLAG Portland in Gresham/East County (about 30 minutes east of Portland), the question of how can chapters better work together as a metro-area PFLAG organization has become a pertinent one. To answer the question, chapter leaders are in the process of developing a model that would allow each individual chapter (in this case, East County, the Portland Black Chapter, Forest Grove, Clackamas County, and Portland itself) to retain its own identity, but would strengthen PFLAG’s presence in the Portland area overall. To do this, providing a voice to chapter leaders is key, so the immediate plan is to elect a member (or members) from some of these satellite locations to bring the issues and viewpoints of nearby communities to the Portland area where leaders from the area can brainstorm solutions and ways to support each other’s work. And in terms of financial issues, the group is streamlining the accounting for the chapters and added a line in their books for East County and the Black Chapter to support the burgeoning chapters’ work. They are in discussions about expanding this model to include
Clackamas County and Forest Grove. The benefit of doing this is to provide financial support and an organizational structure to groups interested in forming a new chapter outside of the Portland metro region. But it isn’t just about restructuring leadership and business. Given the great success that PFLAG chapters in Oregon have seen with their communitybased outreach, they are setting up a system to share their best ideas and programs
across the state so that similar efforts can be replicated quickly and easily, such as: •
A speaker training and toolkit to manage the outreach while presenting to local groups
•
Text for newspaper advertisements about PFLAG as well as suggested timelines for promoting events
•
Effective tabling tools, including a train-the-trainer conference call to help people get the most out of their tabling time and farmer’s markets and other events, as well as the materials they need – like sign-up sheets – to capture information while they’re doing outreach.
Out of many of their successful programs, chapter members in Oregon have 5
also found some important organizing strategies that they’re sharing with other state chapters, including: •
The importance of engagement through existing networks: For example, one gay men’s discussion group filled a car and drove in from La Grande to Pendleton – about 50 miles away – to participate in a Basic Rights Oregon Action Team training on the power of effectively sharing stories for societal change. They heard about the event because a PFLAG member e-mailed everyone in her contact list, word traveled fast, and these new supporters showed up. All it took was one e-mail to do it.
•
Making “commit and confirmation” calls: One chapter leader in Oregon took the time to call every name on her list of both current and lapsed PFLAG members to invite them to commit to coming to an upcoming event and then called again to confirm their attendance. The effort paid off, and these simple calls yielded a bump in attendance for the program. • Partnering with Basic Rights Oregon advocates: One Oregon chapter reported that they only had about 45 contacts from their state equality organization, Basic Rights Oregon, but chapter leaders were persistent and contacted everyone on their list and asked them to sign up and attend an upcoming event. They followed the calls with postcards, and multiple e-mails in the two weeks leading up to the event to generate interest…and it paid off.
And the plans continue for chapters in Oregon. They are currently working on a host of new resources, including creating local outreach materials that feature extended, multigenerational families, trying new fundraising strategies using their personal networks, and finding innovative new ways to tell their stories to change hearts and minds. It is the right time, the right people, and the right reason for making history and our chapters in Oregon are doing it!
MEMBER SPOTLIGHT:
KAREN BAKER Profiled by Kay Heggestad, Midwest Regional Director
On a fine summer day in 2000, Karen Baker was attending an ordinary church service that stimulated some extraordinary actions. The minister suggested that her parishioners find and follow their passions…and that’s what Karen did. But following her passion was hardly a simple one: at that moment Karen decided she needed to be an advocate for her son and later, by obvious extension, all LGBT people. She has not stopped nor slowed down since. Karen’s son, Adrian Childs, came out in 1993 at age 21 while attending the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. She and her husband, Preston Baker, like many parents who get this news, worried about his personal safety, but felt no need for any kind of support to help with the coming out process. “I have a wonderful son and there was nothing ‘wrong’ with him,” Karen plainly said. But Karen’s reaction was hardly surprising. As she tells the story, she never understood why anyone would be treated differently simply because they aren’t straight.
Growing up on farm in rural southwestern Wisconsin, she recalls that as a teen, she and her mother found out that a local school superintendent had been fired because he was gay. Karen knew what that meant and had to explain it to her mother and – even then – wondered why someone would be fired for such a thing. In spite of her belief in equality, she did not know about PFLAG until after that inspirational church service. A month later, she attended her first PFLAG meeting and has been active ever since. She joined her chapter’s board and became treasurer in 2002. In May 2010, Karen was elected president of the Madison, WI chapter. Following her passion for advocating for equality and doing extraordinary things has taken many forms for Karen. She became the driving force behind creating the first gay-straight alliance (GSA) at the local high school in Stoughton, WI, in spite of the fact that she wasn’t even on staff at that school, but actually teaching music at nearby Fox Prairie Elementary School. Knowing what was at stake for LGBT youth at the high school, Karen connected
with the staff and student leaders at the high school to get the group off the ground and running. It was no easy lift: the high school had no one else willing to be the advisor for the group, so Karen took on that role, too – in addition to her full-time job at the middle school, working parttime at her church, additional volunteer work, and her role in her PFLAG chapter. While the high school principal allowed the GSA to hold meetings in the school, they would need to do so as a “community” group – not a school-sanctioned club – so Karen paid for the room rental out of her own pocket. Today, she is understandably quite proud of her scrapbook of the high school’s newspaper articles documenting the early days of the GSA’s existence. Karen continues to bring PFLAG’s message of love and acceptance to her community in Cottage Grove, WI, which has been her home since 1975, which is where she and her husband raised their two sons. Adrian is now a professor of Music Composition at the University of Georgia, while her younger son, Gerrick, is married and is soon to present Karen and Preston with her first biological grandchild.
Conferences, continued from page 1
workshop session that gave participants a chance to engage in small group discussions and brainstorming about specific challenges. In their small groups, PFLAGers were able to connect and share their successes with chapter members from other areas, hear what ideas worked for other chapters, and provided inspiration and instruction on how to incorporate these ideas into their own work. Charmaine Press, from PFLAG Richmond, saw a pattern in many of the discussions at the session that will help her with projects for her chapter. “The one thing that struck me was how beneficial it is for us to get out and do other community service that is non-LGBT related.” A Skill-Building Oasis While meeting people is critical, learning
some new tricks always helps inspire and motivate people in their grassroots advocacy, and PFLAG delivered with new workshop offerings for participants. From leadership skills, to safe schools, to Straight for Equality in Healthcare, opportunities to learn something new prevailed at conferences. The workshop, Strategic Planning: How Your Chapter Can Set Goals and Achieve Them was popular with the attendees of the PFLAG Arizona and New Mexico BiState Conference. The skill-building session helped demonstrate to leaders how the role of strategic planning can help them set goals, establish priorities, and keep on track, especially in often challenging volunteer settings. “The session gave us a framework for choosing priorities, communicating them, and acting on them in a systematic way. It
also showed us how we can give ourselves permission not to get distracted and how to communicate around that in a guiltfree, purposeful way,” said Katherine Palmer, New Mexico State Coordinator. Regional Needs, Responses, and Representatives Creating events and conferences that were responsive to specific regional needs was a primary focus for organizers nationwide, and the result was powerful. The PFLAG Norman (OK) chapter hosted a regional conference for chapters based on the theme of PFLAG’s visibility in local communities. PFLAG Norman’s growing relationship with the Norman Police Department enabled the chapter to invite Norman continued on page 8
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P F L A G C O R P O R AT E S P O T L I G H T For the past 140 years, MetLife has provided insurance and financial services to millions of Americans.
wide variety of places, from big cities to small towns,” said JeanMarie Navetta, PFLAG’s Director of Equality Parterships. “In doing this, we’ve also had the chance to connect MetLife teams with local PFLAG chapters, and we’ve seen many of these connections develop into long-term community partnerships between the two groups, ensuring that our goal of moving equality forward continues to happen, even after the trainings are over.”
In that time, they have become a leader in their industry for maintaining high-quality services and products, but have also become a trailblazer in setting the pace for implementing innovative corporate diversity and inclusion policies and practices. PFLAG National is honored to call MetLife a National Corporate Sponsor and partner in working toward helping lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people realize equality in their places of work.
Over the course of the partnership, PFLAG has provided more than 20 Straight for Equality in the Workplace trainings to hundreds of MetLife employees in locations across the nation. And, at the 2010 Out & Equal Workplace Summit, MetLife and PFLAG will again partner to offer a workshop on effective models for nonprofit organizations and corporations to work together to advance educational and support opportunities in communities.
MetLife’s commitment to equality for all runs deep, as evidenced by its market research and reports, its strong employee support, and MetLife’s partnership with PFLAG National. In February 2006, the MetLife Mature Market Institute partnered with the Lesbian and Gay Aging Issues Network of the American Society on Aging to produce the first national survey of LGBT baby boomers, entitled Out and Aging. The report provided key demographics on this often invisible group and guidance on how to provide services. In 2010, MetLife released Still Out, Still Aging: The MetLife Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Baby Boomers, a critical update to the original publication.
PFLAG National Board Member, Julia Lennox, says that, “As a Vice President of Marketing at MetLife, we know that providing a welcoming workplace for all of our employees, including our LGBT employees, not only makes good business sense as we work to provide high-quality services to our diverse client base, but it is also the right thing to do. Serving on PFLAG National’s Board of Directors has helped me fully recognize the impact that PFLAG and Straight for Equality in the Workplace I am proud to work have had on molding for a corporation that MetLife’s robust diversity realizes the imporand inclusion practices.” tance of creating a
Meanwhile, internally, MetLife’s Employee Resource Group (ERG) – Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Allies at MetLife (GLAM) – was developed for all MetLife employees to help learn more about LGBT issues and gain the tools to create a culturally-inclusive and productive workplace. Launching this ERG was one simple but critical step MetLife has taken to ensure that its employees have opportunities to enhance their professional and personal development. Because of the strength of GLAM, as well as the passage of a wide variety of inclusive policies including domestic partner benefits and inclusive nondiscrimination policies, MetLife has received a perfect 100% score on the Human Rights Campaign Foundation’s Corporate Equality Index since 2003.
fully inclusive workplace environment.
Alain Montour, an active PFLAG member since 1987 and member of PFLAG National’s Board of Directors says that, “PFLAG has made an incredible personal impact on my life, but has also played an integral role in working with MetLife to make LGBT diversity and inclusion policy a reality. I am proud to work for a corporation that realizes the importance of creating a fully inclusive workplace environment.” From their influence on industry work, to the services that they bring to employees and clients, to their consistent support of community engagement nationwide, MetLife is working diligently to advance the experience of LGBT people, their families, and their allies everywhere. By recognizing the importance of allowing people to be who they are in their work environments, MetLife has not only realized a critical aspect of employee relations, but they have set an important example for how corporations can be on the forefront of changing hearts and minds to ultimately create a safer and more productive world for LGBT people.
PFLAG National executive director, Jody M. Huckaby says that, “We have been so grateful for the incredible support MetLife has shown PFLAG National since our partnership began in 2007. The leadership at MetLife has consistently demonstrated that they are champions of LGBT diversity and inclusion initiatives within their workplace and in the communities they serve.” “In working with MetLife through our Straight for Equality in the Workplace trainings, we’ve literally had the opportunity to work with hundreds of MetLife associates across the country and in a 7
Conferences, continued from page 6
Police Chief, Phil Cotton to present a workshop at the conference. Chief Cotton spoke about his goal to create trusting relationships with the LGBT community. He stressed the need to create an environment where LGBT people feel comfortable when talking to police officers, and reinforced the conference’s message to get out in the community and reach out to community leaders. Bringing local, state, and regional leaders to PFLAG’s events also added a broader – but still locally-responsive – perspective for participants. Marc Solomon, Equality California’s Marriage Director and the man who led the battle for marriage in Massachusetts, provided PFLAGers at the Southern Pacific Regional Conference with an update on California’s drive for equality. Dr. Judy Chiasson of the Los Angeles Unified School District’s Diversity and Equity Office led an informative workshop on working with schools in California and how chapters can help advance inclusion for all students. The North Atlantic Conference welcomed local GLSEN representative Rob Conlon to share more information on the state of LGBT issues in schools and provide suggestions for chapters who are engaging their local schools. Meanwhile, PFLAG parent Rex Butt also shared his research for a book he is working on and his experience as the father of a transgender daughter. And back in the Carolinas, Ian
Palmquist, Executive Director of Equality North Carolina, updated PFLAGers on the successes of their work and how PFLAG members can continue to advance equality across the state. Connecting with PFLAG Leaders Chapters have also had a chance to network with and ask questions of PFLAG National staff and our volunteer leaders to better understand the work that PFLAG is doing – and get to know the people who are representing them in Washington, D.C.
asking easy questions – like how many people work at the National Office (16, by the way). But after a while, everyone loosened up, and started conversations about topics that generally don’t come up in the context of conference calls or even regular workshops, such as how PFLAG allocates funds for its programs and the ways in which we partner with other organizations to achieve some of our common goals. Getting Energized and Going Home
“For those of us in the field, we spend a lot of time talking on the phone and e-mailing with PFLAG members, but these conferences give staff the time to actually meet people and interact in a more personal way. It’s always exciting to see everyone in action and really feel like you’re part of the change that is happening,” said Brooke Smith, Senior Field Coordinator.
In the end, the goal of energizing people with new ideas, connections, and tools was met, and participants found themselves headed home inspired and ready to take on a new challenge. “We did get a lot of ideas on how to better welcome new people to our PFLAG chapter meetings, reach out to the community at large, and grow our chapter,” said Fran Divine, from PFLAG Kingston (NY).
Often, these conferences are a chance to ask the questions that tend to not come up anywhere else. At the end of the Central Region Conference in Kansas City, the organizers hosted a question and answer session with Brooke Smith and Director of Policy and Programs, Elizabeth Fregiato. Participants were encouraged to ask about anything they wanted to know about PFLAG National. At first, people were shy,
And, in typical PFLAG fashion, members were already looking forward and ready to come back for more next year to find ways to keep their work local and focused. “I got really energized and enjoyed meeting National Staff and all the other wonderful PFLAGers. I would love to learn more, so I’ll be back next year!” Annouk de Wolff Ellis, President of PFLAG Taos (NM) commented.
PFLAG’S BOARD OF DIRECTORS & REGIONAL DIRECTORS COUNCIL Officers of the Board of Directors
Directors
John Cepek, National President Indian Head Park, IL
Roberta Barry • Keene, NH
David Horowitz, Vice-President Akron, OH
Dale Bernstein • New York, NY Rev. Gilbert Caldwell • Asbury, Park, NJ Shelley Craig, PhD, LCSW • Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Mike Neubecker, Vice-President/RDC Chair Brownstown, MI
Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz • Atlanta, GA
Margaret (Peggy) Moore, Secretary Greenwich, CT
Steve Krantz • Sherman Oaks, CA
Kay Heggestad • Madison, WI Jean Hodges • Boulder, CO Julia Lennox • Montclair, NJ
John Tantillo, Treasurer New York, NY
Alba Martinez • Lansdale, PA Alain Montour • New York, NY David N. Parker • Colfax, NC
Ex Officio Sy Zivan • Nominating Committee Chair Pittsford, NY
Rebecca L. Schiff • Newton, MA Daniel Tepfer • Beavercreek, OH Samuel Thoron • San Francisco, CA 8
Regional Directors Mike Neubecker, Regional Director Chair Roberta Barry • Northeast Region (CT, MA, ME, NH, RI, VT) Kay Heggestad • Northern Plains Region (MN, ND, SD, WI) Jean Hodges • Mountain West Region (AZ, CO, NM, UT, WY) Steve Krantz • Southern Pacific Region (Southern CA, HI) Carole Reeder • North Atlantic Region (NJ, NY, PA) Kathy Reim • Pacific Northwest Region (AK, ID, MT, OR, WA) Dan Tepfer • Great Lakes Region (IL, IN, MI, OH) Julie Thompson • Southern Region (AR, LA, OK, TX) Joni Stacy • Central Region (IA, KS, MO, NE) Pam Whiteley • Mid-Pacific Region (Northern CA, NV)
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Highlights from the 2010 Straight for Equality Awards Gala
PFLAG leadership, including Executive Director Jody M. Huckaby and President John Cepek on the red carpet.
Writer and performer Charles Busch walks the red carpet with honoree Liza Minnelli.
Longtime PFLAG supporter Mitchell Gold and his husband, Tim, on the red carpet.
Carolyn Rhea rallies the audience during the live auction.
Board Vice-President David Horowitz and his wife, Toby. KPMG’s Bruce Pfau details the accomplishments of Straight for Equality in Sports winner Scott Fujita.
Food Lion’s Eric Watson tells his story and appeals to the audience to support PFLAG.
Michelle Gadsden-Williams of Novartis, who will be a 2011 Gala co-chair with Sodexo’s Rohini Anand.
Rohini Anand accepts the Straight for Equality in Business Award for Sodexo. 2010 Gala Co-Chairs Tiane MitchellGordon of AOL and Howard Ross of Cook Ross Inc. on the red carpet.
Campbell’s Rosalyn TaylorO’Neale introduces Sodexo.
PFLAG President John Cepek Welcomes guests at the VIP reception.
Mark your calendar!
The next Straight for Equality Gala will be held in March 2011 in New York City. 9
Since 2004, the PFLAG National Scholarship Program has awarded close to $254,000 in scholarships to students who represent some of the best and brightest advocates for equality in the country. In 2010, PFLAG is proud to name 17 new PFLAG National Scholars. These future leaders represent some of the best and the brightest advocates for equality. Selected from a pool of applicants from across the country, we are pleased to share some of their accomplishments with you. The 2010 PFLAG National Scholarship Program was made possible by many generous donations. The Palmer B. Carson Trust established the scholarship program with a substantial bequest from Mr. Carson’s estate. In 2004, the Dow Chemical Company Foundation provided nearly $5,000 in scholarship funding and, since 2007, the Gay, Lesbian and Allies at Dow Employee Network (GLAD) initiated fundraising drives to increase support to the scholarships and have raised almost $20,000 for this project. If you belong to an employee resource group, union, or any other network and feel that your organization would be interested in donating to the PFLAG National scholarship fund, please contact Matthew Boyer, Director of Development, by e-mailing mboyer@pflag.org or calling (202) 467-8180 ext. 231. Congratulations to all of the 2010 winners! Isobel Murillo Jeanne Manford Memorial Scholarship Hometown: Palmdale, CA School: City College of San Francisco
King Chan Palmer B. Carson Memorial Scholarship Hometown: Long Beach, CA School: Santa Monica College
Mary Elizabeth Lennon PFLAG National Scholarship Hometown: Charlotte, NC School: Goucher College
Isobel started her activism journey by founding a GSA at her school. As a genderqueer youth, Isobel realized that the trans community was unrecognized and often ignored. To ensure that the trans youth had a safe place express their feelings, thoughts, and concerns, Isobel co-founded Antelope Valley’s first-ever transgender support group, which she co-facilitated in meetings held every Friday. Isobel was also active in Antelope Valley’s GLBT Community Center as the Director of Community Services. Her role was to reach out to schools with and without GSAs and provide them with the resources necessary to provide tools to start GSAs at their schools. In 2009, Isobel became a GSA Network Youth Trainer, which allowed her to train with other youth leaders at GSA Summit conferences throughout Southern California.
Growing up in a conservative Asian household, King was kicked out of the house when he came out, but continued to strive for equality and acceptance and remained undeterred by this experience. He acquired his initial activism skills when he got involved in saving the biggest library in his town from being dismantled by city council members. The tools he learned from the library project helped him become a youth trainer for the Southern California Gay-Straight Network Alliance, as well as becoming a member of the 2010 GSA Network Statewide Advocacy Council. He also founded his school’s first-ever GSA. King participated in events such as the Mentoring Youth Through Empowerment program at his local LGBTQ Center, and continues to dedicate himself to many organizations that help support LGBT youth.
Honored at the HRC Carolinas Gala as the youngest recipient of the Trailblazer Award, Mary Elizabeth has dedicated herself to social justice. When she was approached by a teacher at her school about forming a gay-straight alliance, Mary jumped at the opportunity. As the former president of her school’s Human Rights Alliance, Mary strived to create a school environment that provided support, education, and outreach opportunities for LGBT members and allies. Although her excitement was met with some opposition by the school community, she rallied to successfully gain the support of her school’s administration. Mary Elizabeth plans to continue her advocacy work by studying Sociology with a concentration in Social Movement/Inequality or Race, Gender and Sexuality.
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PFLAG NATIONAL SCHOLARSHIP WINNERS Abigail Carpenter-Winch PFLAG National Scholarship Hometown: Cambridge, MA School: Hampshire College Abigail’s diverse interests – such as social justice, history, religion and the role of women in developing nations – reflect her commitment to achieving equality. While on a gap year in Israel, she spent her time volunteering in a high-risk community teaching English at a middle school and working in a soup kitchen that served new immigrants and senior citizens. At her high school she served as a Student Coordinator on the GLSEN’s National Leadership Team. She organized four GSA summits in the Boston area to help network and share resources. During her sophomore year of high school, she joined the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition. Her commitment to creating spaces where trans youth could be themselves led to the creation of the Massachusetts Transgender Youth Summit. The summit empowered youth to stand up for their rights and offer support to trans peers. Aretha Frazier Straight for Equality Scholarship Hometown: Harper Woods, MI School: Oakland University As her school’s former Diversity Club officer – and the daughter of an out lesbian – Aretha believes in “Accepting All, Rejecting None.” As part of her straight ally activism, she found herself on the front
lines, coming face to face with bigotry and hatred. Aretha faced many obstacles as a leader at her school, yet she continued to promote tolerance. She worked hard to create spaces and discussions that promoted inclusiveness, creating a” Free Your Mind Week”, which brought awareness to the concerns of LGBTQ youth. It was so successful that it has become an annual event. She also participated in several in-school demonstrations designed to shed light on the numbers of LGBTQ people that have been victims of hate crimes. Aretha plans on studying social sciences to understand intolerance and how it can be changed. Britney Dixon PFLAG National Scholarship Hometown: Lake Charles, LA School: Northwestern State University of Louisiana Growing up as a lesbian in Louisiana has been a struggle for Britney, causing her to initially feel that trying to conform to her school’s idea of “normal” was safer than risking coming out and enduring harassment because of her perceived difference. But this changed when Britney met a close friend that did not follow the rules of the school’s environment, and she developed the courage to be herself and come out. With her newfound openness, Britney proudly attended her community’s first-ever Pride festival. Meanwhile, at school, Britney maintained her straight-A average. She also participated in community service activities by volunteering at a senior apartment community. Because of her own experiences, Britney plans on studying education to so she can help children feel confident in themselves and offer the support they need learn in a positive environment.
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Neal Feldman PFLAG National Scholarship Hometown: Denver, CO School: University of Denver As a straight ally, Neal has worked hard to combat discrimination of LGBT youth. Part of Neal’s involvement in the LGBT community started with his personal journey of self discovery, which led him on the path of becoming a straight ally. Inspired by his passion for being a straight ally, Neal and his peers helped resurrect his school’s GSA, and he eventually became the group’s leader. In his capacity running the group, Neal helped arrange guest speakers, expanded the club’s membership, and spearheaded participation in the Day of Silence. In addition to his work with his school’s GSA, Neal became active in Food Not Bombs, an anti-war group that feeds underserved populations. Paul Tran PFLAG National Scholarship Hometown: La Jolla, CA School: Brown University After coming out to his best friend in seventh grade, Paul immediately understood the difficult questions, confrontations, and prejudice that his status as an out person would entail. However, when he started studies at the The Press School, a middle and high public charter school located on the University of California, San Diego campus, he discovered the courage to stand up for himself and celebrate his unique-
ness. Paul helped co-found BUDDDY (Building Understanding and Determination in Developing Youth). This student-led peer mentoring program supported disadvantaged youth by helping them overcome stigma and inequality in the community. When not at school, Paul dedicated his Saturdays to tutoring at-risk students, and his after-school time to volunteering to organize computer literacy programs. Paul also assisted in raising $23,000 to support other student-led programs at his school. He will be the first in his family to go to college — a fact for which his family is very proud — and he plans to major in Political Science, Modern Culture and Media. Samuel Roecker PFLAG National Scholarship Hometown: Denver, CO School: Tulane University While maintaining his honor roll status, Samuel was instrumental in raising the attendance of his school’s GSA from four to 25 members. In his role as GSA president, Samuel led weekly group meetings and also provided leadership in participating in a a school-wide Day of Silence week that involved awareness exercises about the issues LGBTQ youth face and how students can be stronger allies. He was also active at the Student Diversity Leadership Conference sponsored by the National Association of Independent Schools where he was trained as a peer facilitator and led break-out discussions groups. Samuels believes his mission is to build an inclusive community for all students. He is interested in studying Political Science with a possible pre-law or Public Policy focus.
Austin Laufersweiler PFLAG National Scholarship Hometown: Marietta, GA School: University of Georgia Austin saw the lack of support for LGBT students and founded his schools first GSA. He knew this was a big step for his conservative southern community, but he did not stop there. With the help of GLSEN, Austin helped organize a Safe Space Training for the staff at his school and successfully organized participation in the National Day of Silence. After his many efforts to improve the quality of life for LGBT youth, Austin was named GLSEN’s first Student Advocate of the Year. In addition to his advocacy work, Austin found time to maintain a 4.2 GPA and volunteer in his community, mentoring an autistic elementary school student, working with seniors at a nursing home, and volunteering at Wellstar Kennestone Hospital. Fred Carriles PFLAG National Scholarship Hometown: Hollywood, CA School: New College of Florida Fred believes that tragedies do not define who we are. Instead they serve as a platform for personal growth. His unrelenting optimism – even in the fact of discrimination – and perseverance has made him an advocate for LGBT youth and straight allies by transforming obstacles into opportunities to create change within himself and others. As the former president of his school’s GSA, he worked hard to create a familylike environment for students to share
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their experiences and discuss issues facing the LGBT community. Fred also entered literary competitions and won numerous awards for his literary pieces that focused on the impact of homophobia on youth. In addition to his LGBT advocacy work, Fred also volunteered as a student mentor for students at his high school. Laura Smith PFLAG National Scholarship Hometown: Sherman Oaks, CA School: Vassar College Laura firmly believes that everyone deserves equality and acceptance. As a straight ally, Laura has committed herself to offering support for LGBT youth and children. Laura’s advocacy led her to participate in the Gay- Straight Alliance Network’s LGBT Activist Camp and she eventually became a member of GSA Network’s Statewide Advocacy Youth Council. As her school’s GSA president, she was able to get six gender-neutral bathrooms on her campus. Additionally, Laura was involved in the literacy program Koreah LA through the Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles. Laura mentored elementary school students who struggled with literacy from lowperforming elementary schools. She also worked at a nursing home and helped plan activities, escorted the residents to events, and acted as a companion. Vivienne Chen PFLAG National Scholarship Hometown: Pleasanton, CA School: Princeton University As a former AP with Distinction student, Vivienne understood the importance of hard work and dedication. In high school, Vivienne was a straight LGBT youth activist that actively participated in promoting equality for the LGBT com-
PFLAG NATIONAL SCHOLARSHIP WINNERS munity. She participated in her school’s GSA activities and also became active in Equality California and the No on 8 campaign, traveling to San Francisco to recruit volunteers to help in the campaign efforts and marching with the ACLU at Pride parades. Vivienne saw that having conversations – even ones with opposition during the No on 8 campaign – helped her understand that allies have a special role in the progression of LGBT rights. She is excited to attend Princeton University where she plans to major in English with a focus on fiction and creative writing. Kevin Kendrick PFLAG National Scholarship Hometown: Minden, NV School: University of Washington As a member of the National Honors Society, Kevin has been dedicated to serving his community. He spent many hours volunteering at his former elementary school mentoring students and teaching chess. Kevin also worked as a teen counselor at a 4-H camp for four years, which gave him a chance to expose campers to rich learning experiences during the summer. As an out and proud gay youth, Kevin continues to support the LGBT community by inspiring others to be confident and proud of themselves by being vocal in their community. Kevin will use his knowledge to help change laws and fight for equality for the LGBT community. He plans to study philosophy and political science.
Stephanie Hayden PFLAG Dow GLAD Scholarship Hometown: New Castle, CO School: University of Boulder
Tea Sefer PFLAG National Scholarship Hometown: Chicago, IL School: American University
In spite of her confidence, Stephanie was not immune to the negative comments and verbal harassment by students she experienced when she decided to come out in high school. Although she lost some friendships and made some enemies, Stephanie remained undeterred and continued to promote equality by just being herself. She also maintained her straight-A average, participated in sports, and was Student Body President. Her personal acceptance allowed her to be the youth support for other LGBT students in her school. She explains that she didn’t initially realize the positive impact her coming out made, but as she saw it, she felt proud to support others in their personal journeys. To do this effectively, she helped co-found her school’s Diversity Club, which was dedicated to bridging gaps in the community. Stephanie plans on studying Biological and Chemical Engineering.
In high school, Tea become involved in LGBT organizations, and it was there that she found her passion for advocacy work. Tea has worked with the Illinois Safe Schools Alliance and participated in changing school policies. She and other students advocated for including “gender identity and expression” in her community’s nondiscrimination policy, and was excited when their hard work paid off and the School Board voted to include the language that represented and protected LGBT students. Stephanie was inducted into the Nation Honor Society because of her high GPA and social service activities. Tea believes her mission in this world is to give a voice to people who cannot be heard and to help educate those who are not supportive of underrepresented groups.
FAQ: The PFLAG National Scholarship Program What kinds of backgrounds do scholarship reviewers have? PFLAG is very fortunate to have scholarship reviewers from a wide variety of backgrounds which include college professors, former school administrators, educators, lawyers, and parents. Our reviewers represent the diversity that PFLAG strives to promote in our advocacy work. We are proud to maintain an equitable scholarship selection process by recruiting reviewers representing multiple viewpoints. How many people review the scholarship applications? In 2010, we had 18 reviewers work on this project. 13
What is the process for reviewing the applications? The reviewers are expected to be meticulous in their evaluation of the scholarship applications and have to follow a detailed process to ensure that all applications receive equal attention. Each application is evaluated by two reviewers and after evaluating the files, each reviewer assigned a numeric score to the applicant. Some additional consideration is made by PFLAG National Staff to ensure that all factors have been incorporated in the scores (such as need, diversity, etc.).
Ballots Must Be Received by OCTOBER 25, 2010. In accordance with election procedures approved by PFLAG’s National Board of Directors, these Board nominees were screened and are recommended by PFLAG’s Nominating Committee, pursuant to the organization’s bylaws. Regional Directors’ seats will be elected at the same time.
Board of Directors Please vote for two candidates below.
Paula Brill
Paula W. Brill, M.D. has just completed six years of service on the Board of Directors of PFLAG-NYC and remains Seven Board members are elected by the actively involved membership. Two seats are up for elecin the chapter. She is Professor of tion this year, and the candidates’ profiles Radiology and chief of Pediatric appear on the upcoming pages. Board Radiology at Weill Cornell Medical members are elected to serve a three-year College/New York Presbyterian Hospital. term. She has spoken on marriage equality at the Council of New York State PFLAG Four Regional Directors are up for elecChapters and has participated in worktion this year. You may only vote for the shops of the Stonewall Foundation and Regional Director who represents the area Empire State Pride Agenda. Her article in which you live. Regional Directors are on gay parenthood appeared in InFocus elected to serve a two-year term. Magazine, a publication of the American Fertility Association. Paula has two chilTo cast a vote, check your choice of candren and three grandchildren. Her didates and return the ballot on page 15 daughter is a lawyer in Los Angeles and a to PFLAG National. Your balmember of the Board of Directors of lot must include the mailLambda Legal. Her son is a matheAll ing panel (located on matics professor at Boise State ballots must the reverse side of the University and involved in many be postmarked ballot) to verify eligivolunteer activities in the comno later than bility. Ballots which munity. October 25 and cannot be identified as returned to the Patricia Lewis being cast by a memaddress on the ber in good standing ballot. Patricia L. Lewis is will be disqualified. an accomplished senior Human Members in good standing include all Resources execuindividuals of a household whose dues tive with a proven are current. All members may use the track record of same membership number for voting. driving change Please photocopy the ballot and the mailand delivering ing panel for multiple members of the strong business results throughout her household. career and currently serves as the Vice President, Human Resources of Diversity Results will be reported on November 6, and Employee Experience at IBM. In this 2010 at the PFLAG Annual Meeting in role, she is responsible for developing Washington, D.C. and posted to the enterprise-wide programs and initiatives PFLAG website, www.pflag.org.
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that enable IBM to attract, retain, and motivate diverse talent around the world. In March of 2007, Patricia was recognized by The Network Journal Magazine as a 25 Influential Black Women in Business honoree. Patricia has also held business level and HR leadership positions at DuPont, U.S. Surgical Corporation and National Semiconductor Corporation. Additionally, she is a member of the National Association of Female Executives and the Society for Human Resource Management. Patricia received her Bachelor’s Degree in Industrial Relations Management from the University of Bridgeport (CT) in 1984. She currently resides in Westchester County, NY with her son Justin.
Regional Directors Please vote only for the candidate representing the state in which you reside.
Carole Reeder Re-election North Atlantic region (NY, NJ, PA) As a PFLAG Mom, Carole Reeder has been active in PFLAG for over 25 years, helping to organize chapters in Binghamton, NY; Myrtle Beach, SC; and Chautauqua, NY. She has been director of the North Atlantic Region. She organized the first North Atlantic regional conference in over 10 years, with 40 people participating in the event.
PFLAG NATIONAL ELECTIONS: BOARD & REGIONAL DIRECTORS BALLOT
Pam Whiteley
Kathy Reim
Julie Thompson
Re-election Pacific Northwest Region (ID, MT, OR, WA, AK)
Re-election Southern Region (AR, LA, OK, TX) Julie Thompson, President of PFLAG New Orleans, has been married for 44 years and is the mother of four children and the grandmother of eight. Her oldest son is gay, and she has been involved with PFLAG since 1993. Following Hurricane Katrina, she helped plan the re-building of New Orleans’ LGBT community, and held weekly meetings once organizers returned home. The group distributed $30,000 to displaced LGBT youth, and formed a community coalition of allies. Julie has received the LAGPAC Community First Award and the HRC Equality Award, and her chapter has received the Forum for Equality Acclaim Award for Political Activism, as well as the PFLAG National Award for Support.
Kathy Reim has been a PFLAG leader in a rural chapter 90 miles north of Seattle for 10 years. She volunteered as Washington State Coordinator for three years, and has now served two years as Regional Director for the Pacific Northwest Region. She has brought a background in education, mediation, and organizational development to her PFLAG work – along with the passion of a mom with a supportive husband, daughter, and daughter-in-law. Her goals are to spend more time with chapters in Montana, Idaho and Alaska in the next two years, continue to celebrate the important work of chapters across the region, and to help new chapters get a good beginning.
O F F I C I A L
Re-election MidPacific Region (Northern CA, NV) Pam is currently serving her second term as MidPacific Regional Director. She is also on the board of Sacramento PFLAG, having served as Librarian, Vice-President, and President, and currently is responsible for publishing the chapter’s newsletter. Pam says, “I knew PFLAG was where I belonged the minute I walked into my first meeting.” In addition to her PFLAG responsibilities, she is the Communication Director, and a co-founder, for the Sacramento Region LGBTQI Leadership Coalition, working extensively on the No on 8 campaign, and continues to partner with other organizations in the region on equality issues. In her spare time, she works full time as Assistant to the Director of Program Management at Teledyne MEC. Pam has a daughter and son-in-law living in San Francisco, and a son in Sacramento – and they’re all straight allies.
BALLOT PFLAG Board of Directors: Please vote for two candidates by placing a checkmark next to the candidate’s name.
K Patricia Lewis K Paula Brill
Return this ballot with the mailing panel on the reverse to PFLAG National, Attention: 2010 Ballot Collection, 1828 L Street, NW, Suite 660, Washington, D.C. 20036. All ballots must be received by October 25, 2010.
PFLAG Regional Directors: Please vote for the candidate representing the region in which you currently reside by placing a checkmark next to the candidate’s name.
K Mid-Pacific Region (Northern CA, NV): Pam Whiteley
K Pacific Northwest Region (ID, MT, OR, WA, AK): Kathy Reim K Southern Region (AR, LA, OK, TX): Julie Thompson K North Atlantic region (NY, NJ, PA): Carole Reeder 15
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FALL/WINTER 2010
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OPEN IMMEDIATELY! TIME SENSITIVE! Your 2010 Board & Regional Director Ballot is Enclosed!
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