NINSON
JOHN
CHARLIE
JOE
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GARDINER SNELLING
QUIGLEY
TROTMAN
JACK
BILL
TOM
FLYNN
£6
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/ SIMON COLLINS
SALMON
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KELAN
JAMES
GEORGE
STARKY MAX RYAN ROB
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ELMER
FINUCANE
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MORBID
DANNY
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HOLLIDAY
PEARCE
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/ JAMIE
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SWAMPY PARKER
NEIL
HENRY J
THE DODDS
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BARNES
DYLAN MOORE DAVIDSON CRAIG
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ZONER
RUBEN
FEEKSTER
/DANIEL
LEWIS CAPT / JON
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NEIL
CARL
/JORDAN
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GASCOIGNE
TURNER
MORAIS
STEVE
BISMOR
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ISSUE 7
VANCE
MATT
BRUCE
MCCLURE
DEAKIN
EVANS-VINEY
CLAUDINO
/
DOGPISS
DOGPISS
CONTRIBUTORS
COVER: BEAR MYLES / BACKSIDE OLLIE THE HIP AT DEAN LANE
PHOTOGRAPH BY BEN HAIZELDEN
JOE NINSON/STARKY/MORBID/DYLAN LEWIS/CARL VANCE/FLYNN TROTMAN/MAX KELAN PEARCE/JAMIE BARNES/DANIEL BISMOR JORDAN EVANS-VINEY/TOM QUIGLET/CHARLIE ELMER/RYAN GEORGE/SIMON HOLLIDAY/HENRY SWAMPY MOORE/THE CAPT FEEKSTER/STEVE GASCOIGNE/MATT DEAKIN/BILL GARDINER/ROB SALMON/NEIL DAVIDSON/RUBEN MORAIS CLAUDINO/JACK SNELLING/JOHN FINUCANE/JAMES COLLINS/DANNY J PARKER/CRAIG DODDS/JON ZONER/NEIL TURNER/BRUCE MCCLURE
ISSUE 7
EDITED AND DESIGNED BY BEN HAIZELDEN
LIST OF CONTENTS SKATEBOARDER FEATURES JOE HINSON DYLAN LEWIS CARL VANCE MORBID FLYNN TROTMAN'S GUIDE TO MUSHROOMS NEILOTHIC SCOTLAND PHOTOGRAPHS BY NEIL DAVIDSON JORDAN EVANS-VINEY PHOTOGRAPHY FEATURE MAX KELAN PEARCE ARTIST FEATURE BY JAMIE BARNES HOW TO MAKE POOL COPING BY DANIEL BISMOR PLUS OTHER SHIT.
ALL IMAGES AND WORDS ARE PROPERTY OF THEIR RESPECTIVE AUTHORS. IF YOU WOULD LIKE ANY INFO PLEASE EMAIL DOGPISSMAG@GMAIL.COM INSTAGRAM@DOGPISSMAG
SINCEREST THANKS TO ALL OUR CONTRIBUTORS AND SPONSORS PAST AND PRESENT. IT MEANS THE WORLD!
BACKSIDE OVERCROOK / PHOTOGRAPH BY RYAN
GEORGE
JOE HINSON
UK SKATEBOARD CHAMP FEATURE
PHOTOGRAPHS BY TOM QUIGLEY RYAN GEORGE CHARLIE ELMER
Hey Joe so let’s get this started. How old are you? I m 23
Where do you live?
I li ve i n a s mall vi llag e j u s t o u t s i de E ly i n C ambri dg e s h i re
Do you have any sponsors you’d like to mention? My Sponsors are Darkstar skateboards, Lakai UK, Black Sheep Skate Store, distrubution flow for Pig Wheels, Tensor Trucks (flow) , fp Insoles UK and Lousy Living Underwear
So Joe how long have you been skating? I ’ ve be e n s kat i n g n o w fo r aro u n d 1 0 almo s t 1 1 ye ars n o w
What made you want to get involved in this beautiful activity ? A
fe w lads fro m my vi llag e u s e t o s kat e an d I s aw t h o s e bo ys do i n g i t at t h e vi llag e g re e n o n e day. Aft e r t h at I j u s t wan t e d a s kat e bo ard an d I ’ ve n e ve r p u t o n e do wn s i n e I g o t o n e .
Who do you skate with most of the time. Why them? I s kat e o n my o wn a lo t i n t h e we e k as wh e re I ’ m fro m t h e re are n ’ t man y s kat e rs wh o g o o u t e ve ry day, bu t I s kat e wi t h a fe w g u y at my lo c al p ark i n Wat e rbe ac h s o s h o u t o u t S i mo n C lark an d t h e Wat e rbe ac h C re w an d I als o s kat e wi t h Dave H aye s a lo t ,
h e ’ s be e n li vi n g i n Ke t t e ri n g
bu t we always t rave l aro u n d an d s kat e n e w p lac e s . H e ’ s als o be e n my mai n g u y I ’ ve be e n h i t t i n g u p t o fi lm fo r me as we ll h e ’ s be e n g e t t i n g i n t o fi lmi n g an d h e ’ s s u p e r do wn t o dri ve 2 / 3 h o u rs t o me e t me t o fi lm a t ri c k s o t h at h e lp s me o u t a lo t . I t s h ard t o c o me by a fi lme r t h at ’ s do wn t o g o o u t almo s t e ve ry we e ke n d, s o bi g t h an ks t o Dave fo r be i n g do wn t o h e lp me s t ac k t h e fo o t ag e . H e ’ s als o a rad s kat e bo arde r h i ms e lf s o i t ’ s always g o o d t o g e t a s e s h wi t h h i m t o o .
That’s rad to hear you have people that get you fired up. When I first heard of you and saw your skating I found it hard to believe you skated on your own all the time- I couldn’t understand how someone would have your gnarly approach to the activity whilst being somewhat of a solitary skater- what do you think it is about you that made you end up skating how you do? Do n ’ t g e t me wro n g I lo ve s kat i n g wi t h t h e h o mi e s an d g o i n g t o a p ark o r be i n g i n t h e s t re e t s bu t i f n o o n e s fre e t o s kat e I ’ ll s t i ll g o o u t o n my o wn I j u s t wan n a s kat e as mu c h as p o s s i ble wh i le I ’ m able t o o . I t h i n k I s kat e t h e way I do be c au s e o n e o f t h e fi rs t vi de o s I e ve r wat c h e d an d t h at was
What’s your most cherished moment in your skateboarding life? A lo t o f g o o d t h i n g s h ave c o me fro m s kat e bo ardi n g , I ’ d s ay o n e o f t h e m was be i n g able t o g o t o Ame ri c a i n J u n e h avi n g n e ve r re ally le ft t h e u k t o s kat e i t was an amaz i n g t ri p ,
FRONTSIDE FEEBLE GRIND / PHOTOGRAPH BY RYAN GEORGE
s t ay g o ld, ( s t i ll my favo u ri t e vi de o t o dat e ) i t re ally s t o o d o u t t o me an d t h e way t h e y all s kat e d an d I u s e t o wat c h t h at t h i n ki n g I ’ d lo ve t o be able t o do t h at o n e day, als o yo u c an ’ t be at t h e fe e li n g o f ro lli n g away fro m s o me t h i n g yo u we re s c are d s h i t le s s t o t ry h ah a.
What’s your favourite trick to do and why?
What motivates you to skate such gnarly shit?
T h at ’ s a h ard o n e bu t I ’ d p ro bably s ay a
…… n o t be i n g able t o s kat e le dg e s h a h a.
fro n t fe e ble o r a s i mp le 3 6 0 fli p .
I j u s t e n j o y t h e fe e li n g o f do i n g
Be c au s e t h e y are p ro bably t h e be s t
s o me t h i n g t h at s c are s t h e s h i t o u t o f
fe e li n g t h i n g s t o do
me . Wh e n yo u r ro lli n g away i t ’ s t h e be s t
How does it feel to be the U.K. street champ?
fe e li n g e ve r, als o I g re w u p wat c h i n g
…. . p re t t y c raz y man was n ’ t e xp e c t i n g i t
S t ay G o ld s o t h at i n flu e n c e d my s kat i n g
wh e n I we n t u p t o Man c h e s t e r was j u s t
a lo t
g o i n g fo r a g o o d s kat e an d a g o o d t i me an d t h e n e n de d u p wi n n i n g was s u p e r s t o ke d o n t h at !
You covered a bit of ground in regards to your ADHD in your BLACK SHEEP interview, but would you care to say whether you feel it helps you’re skating in any way? Or is it the other way round? Does skateboarding help with your ADHD?
ILLUSTRATION BY POLLY HEGGENES
KICKFLIP NOSEGRIND / SHEFFIELD / PHOTOGRAPH BY TOM
QUIGLEY
FRONTSIDE NOSEGRIND / LEICESTER / PHOTOGRAPH BY TOM
QUIGLEY
I t h i n k i t do e s i n bo t h ways . I t ’ s h ard t o fo c u s o n s t u ff I do n ’ t h ave a s t ro n g i n t e re s t i n , li ke at s c h o o l I was a ri g h t li t t le s h i t i n le s s o n s an d s o o n . O n c e I g e t fo c u s e d o n s o me t h i n g t h at I re ally e n j o y I t be c o me s s o rt o f li ke an o bs e s s i o n .
I s t art e d s kat e bo ardi n g
wh e n I was aro u n d 1 2 / 1 3 I t h i n k, e ve r s i n c e t h e n I ’ ve p re t t y mu c h s kat e d e ve ry day t h at I ’ m able t o o . I h ave a lo t o f e n e rg y all t h e t i me t o o s o I g u e s s t h at h e lp s . I t g i ve s me s o me t h i n g t o do wi t h all my e n e rg y an d g i ve s me s o me t h i n g t o fo c u s i t o n .
From my point of view, a 40 year old man, the stuff you do seems pretty out there. Its one thing to nose blunt a rail with a lovely smooth run up and clean runout (not that I'm about to go anywhere near one). Its another thing all together to deal with a busy street with a crusty run up and runout. Do you have a way of preparing for these tricks or do you just roll the dice and hope for the best?
I g u e s s s kat i n g rai ls an d s t ai rs yo u r always ro lli n g t h e di c e an d h o p i n g t o Make i t o u t i n o n e p e i c e …. bu t fo r s u re I wo u ldn ’ t t ry an yt h i n g I di dn ’ t t h i n k I c o u ld do 1 00% o n a bi g rai l o r g ap . N o rmally i f I kn o w I ’ m g o i n g t o fi lm a t ri c k o n t h e we e ke n d I ’ ll n o rmal t ry an d do i t a fe w t i me s i n a ro w t h e day be fo re at a p ark j u s t t o make s u re .
I
wi ll fi x u p s p o t s i f t h e y are s u p e r c ru s t y t o o , t ry an d make li fe a li t t le e as i e r. I ’ ve always g o t
p lywo o d, s h e e t me t al an d bo n do i n my c ar t o fi x an y c rac ks o r u n s kat e able flo o r.
That's rad to hear that you won't take no for an answer. Whats the greatest amount of effort you've put in to making a trick happen? Or even worse, whats the most amount of effort you've put into making a trick happen and come up short or got served up hard? A creator of your own doom ha hah? N o t s u re re ally, I ’ ve h ad t o do all t h e c las s i c s , bu i ld ru n u p o u t o f p lywo o d, I ’ ve h ad t o bo n do c rac ks i n t h e s labs . I ’ ve g o t a n e w h u bba le dg e I fo u n d re c e n t ly bu t t h at ’ s g o i n g t o n e e d s o me wo rk be fo re t h at wi ll g ri n d h ah a, I o n c e dro ve u p t o Li ve rp o o l fo r t h i s ki n ke d rai l we s p e n d abo u t abo u t an h o u r bo n do i n g all t h e c rac ks , I t ri e d fo r 3 h o u rs an d I g o t s mo ke d
360 FLIP LIPSLIDE / NOTTINGHAM / PHOTOGRAPH BY TOM
QUIGLEY
So you spent some time out in California recently. It must of been wild! I saw your photos on Instagram hanging out with Chet Thomas and teenage me was very jealous hah ha. Must feel great to have been properly welcomed to the Darkstar team and to have a part in the video? What was the best part of this trip and what do you feel was the greatest lesson you learnt while out there? J u s t t o g o t o C ali fo rn i a t o s kat e o n t h e t ri p was a dre am, I we n t o u t t h e re o n t h e dwi n dle s kat e c at i o n t ri p wh e re t h e y t ake
So joe what brought you to skating? And what is it about it that keeps you doing it? I was at a yo u t h c lu b i n my vi llag e wh e n I was aro u n d 1 2 / 1 3 an d s aw lads s kat e bo ardi n g I kn e w o n e o f t h e m as a fami ly fri e n ds s o we n t o ve r an d h ad a g o an d was p re t t y h o o ke d e ve r s i n c e . I e n de d u p s kat i n g wi t h t h o s e 2 lads a lo t o ve r t h e fi rs t fe w ye ars bu t t h e y we re a lo t o lde r t h an me an d t h e y mo ve d away o r g ave u p s kat i n g i n t h e e n d.
I n t e rn at i o n al flo w ri de rs t o Ame ri c a fo r 2 we e ks . I ’ ve n e ve r h ad a p ro p e r s kat e t ri p li ke t h at be fo re I ’ ve h ardly le ft t h e u k o r be e n o n a p lan e s o g o i n g t o Ame ri c a was an amaz i n g e xp e ri e n c e , be i n g i n t h e vi de o was t h e i c i n g o n t h e c ake re ally as t h at all c ame abo u t be c au s e I h ad fo o t ag e re ady fo r a p art t o re le as e fo r dark s t ar i n t h e u k an d dwi n dle u k j u s t h ad t o ru n i t by c h e t t o make
When I first heard of you and saw your skating I found it hard to believe you skated on your own a lot- I couldn’t understand how someone would have your gnarly approach to the activity whilst being somewhat of a solitary skater- what do you think it is about you that made you end up skating how you do?
s u re i t was c o o l i f I dro p p e d t h e p art u n de r t h e bran d an d t h e y g o t h i t bac k as ki n g i f I wan t e d t o h ave a fe w c li p s i n t h e n e w u p an d c o mi n g vi de o an d t h e p re mi e re was ri g h t at h e e n d o f t h i s t ri p i t was p e rfe c t t i mi n g , I h ad n o i de a I wo u ld be made AM t h at n i g h t o f t h e p re mi e re t h e y ke p t t h at a s u rp ri s e , i t ’ s de fi n i t e ly a dre am c o me t ru e t o be i n a vi de o an d me e t all t h o s e g u ys o n t h e t e am wh o are all s o me o f my favo u ri t e s kat e rs , I g u e s s I le arn t h o w t o t rave l an d n o t g e t mys e lf lo s t j u s t g e t t i n g t h e re h ah a bu t als o h o w g n arly s kat e bo ardi n g i s o ve r t h e re an d h o w mu c h bi g g e r i t i s
If there's any kids (or 40 year old men) out there thinking about nose blunting a massive handrail what advice would you give them? U mm make s u re yo u r re ady h ah a, be fo re I t ake t h e t ri c k do wn an yt h i n g bi g I n o rmally wo rk o n i t at a s kat e p ark t o t h e p o i n t I c an do i t almo s t e ve ry o t h e r g o an d j u s t s lo wly bu i ld i t u p o n s malle r rai ls i n t h e s t re e t s , s kat i n g rai ls i s j u s t all abo u t c o n fi de n c e as lo n g as yo u kn o w yo u ’ ve g o t i t yo u ' re n o rmally g o o d bu t e ve n t h e n yo u c an s t i ll g e t s mo ke d i g u e s s i t ’ s li ke p layi n g wi t h fi re s o me t i me s h ah a.
We ll wh e re I li ve i t ’ s s u p e r s mall t h e vi llag e do e s n ’ t e ve n h ave a s h o p . T h e t wo lads wh o g o t me i n t o s kat e bo ardi n g mo ve d away o r qu i t an d be fo re I c o u ld dri ve I u s e d t o j u s t s kat e t h i s flat bar an d ramp s t h at my dad made me o n t h i s o ld p at c h o f c o n c re t e s o j u s t g re w u p s kat i n g o n t h at e ve ryday s o me t i me s o n my o wn o r I ’ d h ave mat e s c o me o ve r an d s kat e i t i f t h e y c o u ld g e t a li ft o ve r. Bu t e ve ry S at u rday my g ran u s e d t o dri ve me t o a s kat e p ark wi t h mat e s wh i c h was s u p e r rad, o n c e I g o t my c ar an d dri vi n g li c e n s e i t ’ s be e n t h e be s t t h i n g fo r my s kat i n g h ah a! I t h i n k I s kat e t h e way I s kat e be c au s e o n e o f my fi rs t vi de o s I e ve r s aw was s t ay g o ld an d t h at re ally s t o o d o u t t o me s o I g u e s s t h at ’ s s o rt a s h ap e d h o w I s kat e d, bu t e ve n n o w t h e re s t i ll are n ’ t t h at man y s kat e rs i n t h e are a wh o wan t t o g o o u t e ve ryday s o I ’ ll h e ad t o my lo c al p ark o n my o wn all t h e t i me h ah a, I ’ ve be e n kn o wn t o h i t s t re e t s s p o t s o n my o wn be fo re t o o wi t h a t ri p o d bu t t h at ' s n o t always t h e s afe s t h ah a.
Thanks for taking the time to talk to us Joe. Keep up the rad shit!!!!!!!
CROOKED GRIND / NOTTINGHAM / PHOTGRAPH BY TOM
QUIGLEY
ELMER FRONTSIDE NOSEBLUNT / PHOTOGRAPH BY CHARLIE A me s s g e fro m J o e : I ’ d li ke t o t h an k Darks t ar S kat e bo ards , C h e t T h o mas an d e ve ry at Dwi n dle Di s t ri bu t i o n . Als o e ve ryo n e at Lakai an d Fo rm Di s t ri bu t i o n , e ve ryo n e at T KC di s t ri bu t i o n & Blac k S h e e p S t o re . T h an ks t o Kas e t s kat e p ark fo r g i vi n g me a p lac e t o s kat e e ve ryday i n t h e wi n t e r. S h o u t o u t t o Dave H aye s fo r always be i n g do wn t o fi lm an d e ve ryo n e e ls e wh o ’ s fi lme d fo r me o ve r t h e ye ars . Als o all t h e p h o t o g rap h e rs wh o ’ ve s h o t wi t h me I ap p re c i at e yo u all fo r yo u r h e lp . De rby daz an d all t h e h o mi e s an d e ve ryo n e e ls e wh o ’ s s h o wn me lo ve an d s u p p o rt .
ARTIST FEATURE WRITTEN BY JAMIE BARNES PHOTOGRPAHS BY SIMON HOLLIDAY & BEN HAIZELDEN
M AX KELAN PEARCE
Max Kelan is a Bristol-based video artist, filmmaker, musician, performance artist and writer. His work covers his relationships with technology and magick, hyperreality and bodily compulsions, sexuality and death and varies from being highly collaborative sometimes in nature to entirely solitary in its realisation others. Still, amongst all the contrasting themes, aliases, oneoff commissions, bands and collective based projects he's involved with Max has a singular and recognisable voice as an artist. A voice that's simultaneously often expressed explicitly through the use of technology but also is frustrated by it; one born from the flaws inherent within it and the people using/being used by it. Noise, loss and the artefacts found in recorded media and playback systems become vivid expressive components within Max's work rather than imperfections to be avoided and minimised during the creative process. Sat surrounded by CCTV monitors, cameras, tape machines and pedals in his shared studio space we sat down on a bleak rainy afternoon to talk about his work starting with how he first came to realise this against industry standards style of approach. "I'd always been into film and always into music videos as a kid. Then throughout uni got more into installation-based video art and scrap video and things like that, but to be honest, I'm not a very technical person" he admits. "I used to really struggle with using the new HD cameras and technology and always kind of struggled with using software as well. So I was thinking of ways around using this sort of modern technology and doing it in a way that felt kind of relatable to me. I thought back to when I was a kid and would copy DVDs for people. I was always messing around with my parents' VHS camera, making my own silly home movies and putting them onto VHS tapes, sometimes trying to make little edits within the tape by just kind of by stopping and starting on VHS players. So I started to get interested in VHS degradation where you re-burn images several times and the images begin to saturate, and I always liked the process of destruction when moving stuff from DVD onto tape and back to the computer and how compression and transferral can actually destroy video files. So I started using older technology again. Using VHS cameras, VHS players and occasionally VHS editors".
The resulting aesthetic from this approach has become synonymous in the last few years with the similarly rough yet deliberate sounds of the electronic music scene in Bristol through Max's music video work. Like a lot of current music and art here this connection was first formed through the close-knit communal nature of the city's music scene "When I left uni I moved into a house full of music producers, I moved in with Ossia, Hodge, Neek and they were encouraging me to use the skills that I was using to do more installation-based work to make music videos. They were like "there's a gap in the market, people always want promo videos at a cheaper a cost" and a lot the time people wanted kind of scuzzy, more analogue aesthetics. They had a platform for me, they were all releasing music and wanted these trailers. So I started just making some stuff for them". Out of this came Max's first music videos for Hodge's You Better Lie Down and DJ Ape vs DJ Oa$is' Sleng Again. Both take the form of some sort of disembodied aesthetic representation of the music recalling decaying bootlegged rave videos, security footage or accidentally discovered tapes of illicit acts but with all the context stripped away leaving just concrete, destruction, texture and noise. Like broken machinery managing to express its vision of the city by imprinting directly onto discarded magnetic tape. This striking visual style quickly led strong working relationships with Young Echo, Hotline Recordings and Berceuse Heroique before Max then eventually crossed over into writing music himself.
SALAC PERFORMING AT ST PAULS CHURCH PHOTOGRAPH BY BEN HAIZELDEN
This first came to fruition through Bad Tracking after Max met Gordon Apps, an already established solo musical artist known primarily as Relapse (and now also Burden amongst other aliases). The two bonded through a mutual love of noise, metal and extreme music in general and so the idea of working together on music naturally came up with Max suggesting they form "a band bridging the gap between performance art, industrial and all these musical influences we were discussing at the time". From their initial release on Alex Digard of Tape Echo's Mechanical Reproductions label and their first live shows at venues such The Surrey Vaults up to their most recent release Widower on Bokeh Versions the duo have developed from creating industrial techno and noise tracks into something closer to Gunter Brus' concept of Total Action with live shows including spoken word, fetish style acts, black metal style screams, projected visuals and confrontational performance art treating the body as an object or canvas to be acted upon or used for the conveyance of their message. This message being one explicitly commenting on the invasive nature of technology in all aspects of modern life. From a nightmare of the pure simulacrum of a life constructed by social media to the actual physical addiction to it caused by a craving for constant interaction. This, of course, being very much in line with the usage of characteristics typically considered to be negative within audio technology. "For me, the process influences the writing in terms of the physicality of technology: the things that can go wrong with technology and your obsession to try to react to it and essentially make technology work for you and fit around your life. Then this endless trap of having to rely on it. There are a lot of other influences in terms of writing too but a specific aspect at the time when we started Bad Tracking was that I felt quite heavily addicted to newer technology like social media and smartphones and I was obsessed with the constant human need to connect with this world. I found that it was also quite similar to how we would connect with something in a sexual or fetishised way in the sense that it was like this constant urge and almost frustrating attachment. Also that we just sort of bend over backwards for technology and have accepted that these things are changing the
way we think and act socially, and you know that in some sense it is problematic, but we still choose to have this love or acceptance of it even though we know it is essentially degrading our own lives. We choose to keep ploughing through and carrying on and going back to this thing. It's almost like a bad relationship, a toxic relationship". The physicalisation of this is, of course, most apparent in the aforementioned live shows where Apps' control over unpredictable obsolete audio technology and obscure noise devices contrasts electronic feedback and pummelling industrial rhythms against Max's bare vocals and naked body. Self-edited online persona and fantasies of technological integration can then seen to be the compulsive desires of someone enacting something akin to a fetish for sexual submission in front of the audience. "So the nudity aspect is meant to be a human laying bare with technology and being nurtured by it and pleasured and twisted and manipulated by it and all these different things. That's obviously why there's the dominatrix/submissive imagery. The imagery used that can be associated with BDSM is to represent giving yourself up to technology as a slave. I also
SCREEN GRABS FROM MAX'S VIDEOS. think some aspects are drawing comparisons between the body and how it could potentially be physically connected to the technological world as well, with the rise in talk about implants and smart technology moving into things like virtual reality and Google Glass. How it will gradually become that we modify our bodies to be able to fit into the modern world. That's another aspect." Bad Tracking, of course, is one of two musical duos Max is currently a part of. The other being the much younger Salac project with Irish artist Clíona Ní Laoi who recently have released their debut album Sacred Movements on Avon Terror Corps. While the most immediate distinction between the two projects is the differences between the creative voices of Gordon and Clíona Salac also in some ways could act as an inversion of Bad Tracking. Both incorporate hardware electronics, noise, video and
performance art into their work but with Salac the technological nightmare is replaced with hallucinatory visions of nature, the self-torture on stage replaced with ritualistic release and the definition of self through social media is explored instead through rural folklore. "Salac is separate to Bad Tracking in the sense that it's kind of more listing forms of escape" Max confirms. "How to escape from the modern world through the means of magick, the occult and surrealism and also it is about taking pleasure from the natural world and what is in front of you. Both are probably showing my dismay, or distaste of the modern world but in two very different ways." With the veiled dual vocalists on stage for Salac and the sex slave for Bad Tracking, it can often hard to distinguish who exactly the narrator is that is speaking through the performers. When asked where the line is drawn between the personal and the constructed Max seemed to pause as if this was something he frequently considered himself "It's weird, it's almost like I split off several characters in my head, but they all actuality are just different personalities of one person. I think with Salac it is maybe slightly different in terms of the fact that were are referencing a lot of ancient writing, Welsh folklore etc. but a lot of it is still these topics through the eyes of myself. A lot of it is still very personal. It's hard to explain. They are still kind of characters, but some of it is directly through my eyes". This personal vision feels like it's taken more of a prominent role in Max's recent video work too with his visual accompaniment to Ossia's new live project so far performed at MIRA Festival and the last Young Echo event in Bristol. "For me with that particular performance, what was resonating with me through the sound were a number of different concepts such as the death of nature, my personal fears of death in terms of death in the family and then when you see the visuals there's a lot of stuff sinking through the ground and being reborn, so it was like it was also a representation of me using the natural world for this. When visiting these spaces like Arnos Vale cemetery, I was going to kind of give myself some therapy for some of the fears I had of death and illness in my family. I just found that these sorts of places were places I could relax, so a lot of the visuals were just me wandering around and recording. Also, something that has kind of been another sort of therapy for me without sounding too contrived is the occasional use of psychedelics. I do feel like psychedelics give you this kind of feeling of rebirth sometimes when you come out at the end of the trip. You kind of feel cleansed and refreshed and ready for new tasks and new methods of thought. I think that has definitely influenced the visual aspects of things and my video work for quite a long time". This solitary approach is of course, quite different from Bad Tracking and Salac where the dynamic of a direct collaboration runs throughout. However, there's still a consistent attitude towards thematic exploration through self-imposed limitation and experimentation within everything Max seems to be involved in. Whether that is through spontaneous reactions to and attempts to control unstable audio devices and machines in Bad Tracking or improvisations around specific referential elements lyrically with Salac. "With Bad Tracking, what we'll do is have sessions where we just set up mics around the room and stuff going directly in to record. We have done recordings where we've hung microphones out the window and recorded
BAD TRACKING PERFORMING AT THE OLD ENGLAND PHOTOGRAPH BY
feeling in this sort of mood so we're going to use Tibetan Healing Bowls today" or with Bad Tracking it's more like "We're feeling in this sort of mood, so we're going to use power drills." At this point, Max breaks into warm laughter revealing that ultimately while a lot of the subjects addressed by him and his bandmates' music are kind of severe, there is something still playful and light-hearted to the creative process for him. When probed as to whether this is the case also within the more structured and deadline-driven realm of commissioned music videos, it does seem that Max still has a lot of freedom to explore specific concepts or processes. "Sometimes I'll have it in mind that I want to do something like using the screens of CRT monitors for all the video or some other specific process. For example, I did a video once where I was like "I only want to use a microscope for this video, how can I only use a microscope for this video?!" And so then put various textures under one and shot only through the microscope. Or I'll set other limitations where I only want to use a certain type of VHS camera because of the way it looks and I think it'll relate nicely to the video. There are always (self-imposed) limitations." For someone on the outside, it's easy to wonder where Max sees himself going next creatively with multiple projects already on the go, but in reality, there's a clear through-line to it all. For example, his recent Max Kelan on Max Kelan show for Noods Radio comes both from a long-standing love of creative writing and also foreshadows his intentions to release a book.
SIMON HOLLIDAY
the builders next door, we've scraped bits of metal together, we've used broken VHS players with induction mics. So a lot of the instrumentation is influenced by the concept. In terms of the way we develop our music, it is often through recording jam sessions, and then we listen back and structure tunes out of the best bits. We like to keep things very spontaneous. I'm not very interested in sitting behind a laptop and making music that way on a blank canvas, I prefer to set stuff up and play around and create something structured from (an initially) free form sound. I'll always do the lyric writing separately and often go away from music sessions and write lyrics around what we've been making. There was also a point where a lot of what I was doing was sort of improvised live and we would record our shows, then I would listen back and develop on some of the bits of the improvised spoken word I was doing. In Salac we'd bounce ideas back and forth. While I'm reasonably well-read generally, I would talk about topics that I didn't necessarily think I understood with ClĂona, who is very knowledgable in things like ancient mythology and the occult. Having someone to continually bounce my writing off has helped in general as well, and really it's through meeting her that it has started to become something that I have sat and done every day. She, of course, writes herself in general, so having someone to share the experience of writing with has helped it progress. But, yeah with Salac we have our set core ideas and concepts, what we try to do is not use all of our gear at once. We set up specific stuff so we have a little bit of a limitation. We will be like for example "Oh I think we're
"English was probably one of my better subjects in school. I remember a lot of teachers were always like "he's very disruptive in class and he's crap at concentrating" and said the only time I'd ever sit and concentrate was when I did creative writing, so I guess I've always seen writing as an escape. The only thing is with the spoken word world is that it's quite a narrowminded scene unfortunately and I don't like the fact there's quite a lot of rules and regulations within spoken word performance. I would love to be out doing readings. Also, I would like to do some in settings that represent the worlds I'm talking about, in a more site-specific direction if possible. Myself and ClĂona are curating an event at the moment which is going to be at Arnos Vale cemetery which will hopefully explain this further. Also, I'm releasing a poetry book this year through the collective I'm involved with Avon Terror Corps. I think having it written down as a book will kind of make the reader be able to see the sort of worlds I'm talking about in a different light and be able to maybe connect the themes within the two bands. I'm hoping it will make things a bit more linear in a way," Of course, as expected from someone so prolific, Max already has numerous music videos and plans for further musical releases lined up as well. "Currently at the moment I'm doing some visual work for Pessimist, a music video for his forthcoming album. With that, I've been using big CRT monitors and still doing my usual screen re-filming. With Salac we could easily do another album but want to sit on that material and write something we're really happy with and in Bad Tracking we're currently working on an album which should be released next year. On that, we're kind of trying to write something different to our 1 2" releases. There are going to be longer more expansive tracks that vary in tempo. Still danceable but less like tracks built for the club setting or even gig setting. Not progressive but several different movements within one piece of music as opposed to just several short blasts of music. And I've got more music videos planned for the rest of the year too. One for a guy called Ricardo Tobar who is a tech house producer from Tel Aviv and I'm working on a music video for Sunun who is also on Bokeh Versions and have worked closely with before.
SEE AND HEAR HERE : Salac - Sacred Movements (Album) h t t p s : / / avo n t e rro rc o rp s . ban dc amp . c o m/ albu m/ s ac re d- mo ve me n t s
Salac Instagram
h t t p s : / / www. i n s t ag ram. c o m/ s alac . mu s i c /
Bad Tracking - Widower EP
h t t p s : / / bo ke h - ve rs i o n s . c o m/ albu m/ wi do we r- e p
Bad Tracking Instagram
h t t p s : / / www. i n s t ag ram. c o m/ bad_t rac ki n g _u k
YouTube: search 'Max Kelan Pearce Productions' to view full playlist of Max's videos.
FLYN N T RO T MAN ' S
GUIDE TO MUSHROOM HUNTING
WRITTEN BY FLYNN TROTMAN ILLUSTRATED BY HENRY 'SWAMPY'
MOORE
The UK population seems to have a strange relationship with mushrooms; generally people’s edible mushroom experience is from cultivated varieties commonly found in supermarkets. When I talk about edible mushrooms to people, the two classic quotes are: ‘Are you sure you’re not going to poison yourself?’ and ‘Oh those magic ones.’
All I wish to convey to those reading this Dog Pisser article is ‘Only eat mushrooms you are 1 00% sure of.’ A friend once made the reckless mistake of eating a Bolete mushroom which stained red. He unfortunately thought he was dying for a few hours. Luckily TB lived. Mushrooms are found in UK woodland throughout the year. Mushrooms and trees have symbiotic relationships and to find . never never…. the tastiest mushrooms, you must find the ‘perfect spots.’ Ever…. Hunting season starts in spring (St George mushrooms) and goes through to early winter (Autumn Chanterelles and Blewits). Hunting mushrooms will take you on amazing adventures with amazing sceneries. I mention ‘choice edibles’ below, but again if you go looking for any mushrooms be sure you know 1 00% what they are before eating. Should you be lucky to find choice edible mushrooms… Never… Ever… BLOW UP THE SPOTS. My early mushroom searches began at approximately eighteen years old. Walking in sheep fields with mates, baked in baggy jeans, dreaming of EMB and looking for twinkle eye nights. Around thirty-six-year-old Jonny X offered me a Marrow grown in his back garden, he also said ‘Ere take some dried Blewits to cook it with’. ‘Blewits?’ I enquired, ‘Yeah edibles,’ Johnny replied. The Wood Blewit would be the first mushroom I could confidently hunt and share how to identify with others. However, even though I knew the first Blewits I found were Blewits, when it came to eat them, I still felt sketched doing so (‘caution is a word I can understand’ – Shackle Me Not (bite). The four mushrooms below are the ones I first learnt; thus, they are included in this article.
BLOW UP YOUR SPOTS.
BEEFSTEAK FUNGUS (COOK/PREPARE). Illustrated below.
COMMON PUFF BALL (COOK): Illustrated left.
T h e c o mmo n p u ff ball i s a mu s h ro o m wh i c h man y p e o p le kn o w as e di ble . I t i s e as y t o re c o g n i z e wi t h i t s s h o rt di s t i n c t s t e m ( n arro wi n g t o wards bas e ) an d ro u n de d h e ad ( fru i t bo dy) . T h e h e ad h as o u t e r laye rs o f wh i t e bi t s ( p yrami dal wart s ) wh i c h are de n s e r o n t o p . T h e s e wart s ru b o ff le avi n g an i n di s t i n c t me s h p at t e rn o n t h e h e ad. Wh e n t h e h e ad i s yo u n g s p li t i t i n h alf, i f t h e fle s h i s bri g h t wh i t e an d fi rm ( mars h mallo w fe e l) i t c an be e at e n . An y h i n t o f bro wn o r g re e n t h e n bu n , bu n ( t h ro w away) . Fru i t bo dy: H i g h s u bg lo bo s e wi t h di s t i n c t s t e m – wh i t e be c o mi n g ye llo wi s h - bro wn – wart s wh i c h ru b o ff ( u s e s e p arat e c o n t ai n e r i f c o lle c t i n g o t h e r vari e t i e s o f mu s h ro o ms ) . H abi t at : Wo o dlan d – s u mme r/ lat e au t u mn ( c o mmo n )
T h e be e f s t e ak mu s h ro o m i s a brac ke t fu n g u s . I ’ ve o n ly t ri e d i t o n c e an d i t i s n o t fo r me . T h e re as o n wh y i t ’ s i n c lu de d i s be c au s e i f yo u li ke t h e t as t e yo u ’ re h ardc o re ( DLH ) an d i t i s e as y t o re c o g n i s e . Wh e n yo u c u t i n t o be e f s t e ak fu n g u s , t h e i n n e r fle s h i s p i n ki s h an d me at y lo o ki n g . I t wi ll s lo wly ble e d blo o d- li ke s ap ( g e n t ly s qu e e z e ) . T h e fi rs t t i me I t as t e d i t I h ad s o ake d i t i n mi lk fo r h alf h o u r t o h o p e fu lly t ake t h e s o u r flavo r away, bu t i t was s t i ll t o o g n arly. I t h i n k i f t h i s was c o o ke d by s o me o n e wh o re ally kn o ws c o o ki n g , i t c o u ld t as t e re ally g o o d. Brac ke t : 1 0- 2 5 c m – t h i c k u s u ally s i n g le an d t o n g u e s h ap e d – u p p e r s u rfac e mo i s t t o t ac ky P o re s : Wh i t i s h at fi rs t – bru i s i n g ( fro m t o u c h i n g i t re ddi s h bro wn ) H abi t at : P aras i t e o ak ( s o me t i me s c h e s t n u t ) – e s p e c i ally an c i e n t t re e s – u s u ally as t re e t ru n k bas e s O ak s t ai n e d du e t o t h e be e f s t re ak i n fe c t i o n i s p ri z e d i n t h e fu rn i t u re i n du s t ry E di ble : P le as e re ad abo ve fo r o p i n i o n
CHICKEN OF THE WOODS (COOK): Illustrated below.
I re me mbe r g o i n g t o S ave rn ake fo re s t wi t h Bri s t o l c re w t o lo o k fo r e di ble s an d fi n di n g ‘ C h i c ke n o f T h e Wo o ds ’ . I h ave n e ve r be e n bac k t o S ave rn ake bu t h ave always wan t e d t o . T h i s an c i e n t wo o dlan d li ke ly me an s ‘ c h o i c e e di ble s ’ ( P e n n y Bu n , C h an t e re lle s , Au t u mn C h an t e re lle s , H e dg e h o g s , Ble wi t s , P aras o ls , Bay Bo le t e s ) . C O T W i s c o mmo n ly fo u n d o n o ld an d dyi n g O ak t re e s . T h i s brac ke t mu s h ro o m c an g ro w mas s i ve an d t h e c o lo u r me an s i t i s u n mi s t akable . S e e i n g le mo n - ye llo w o r ye llo w- o ran g e c o lo u rs c o n t ras t i n g ag ai n s t bro wn an d g re e n wo o dlan d i s rad. I t t as t e s o f c h i c ke n an d t h e t e xt u re re mi n ds me o f t o fu . C O T W’ s i s a ve g e t ari an de li g h t . Brac ke t : 1 0- 4 0c m ac ro s s ( e ve n bi g g e r) – u n mi s t akable c o lo u r - dryi n g p alli d o r s t raw c o lo u r ( o n ly t ake yo u n g / fre s h p art s ) – T h i c k an d fle s h y. Fle s h : S u c c u le n t e xu de s ye llo wi s h j u i c e wh e n s qu e e z e d – wh i t e n s wi t h ag e be c o mi n g c ru mbly. H abi t at : De c i du o u s t re e s – u s u ally o ak, ye w ( N E VE R e at o ff Ye ws ) , c h e rry, s we e t c h e s t n u t , wi llo w E di bi li t y: E xc e lle n t ( c o n s i de re d a de li c ac y i n G e rman y an d N o rt h Ame ri c a)
WOOD BLEWIT (COOK): Illustrated below.
T h e Ble wi t i s blu e - li lac wh e n yo u n g , t h e c ap c o lo u r i s a n o t i c e able c o n t ras t t o t h e dark g ro u n d/ s o i l. T h e flat t e n e dc o n ve x c ap s be c o me de p re s s e d an d wave ry, fadi n g / t u rn i n g bro wn wi t h ag e . T h e s t e m i s s li g h t ly bu lbo u s at t h e bas e ( fi bri llo s e ) as we ll as blu e - li lac i n c o lo u r. Fo r me , t h e e as i e s t way t o t e ll i f a Ble wi t i s a Ble wi t , i s t o c u t i t o ff at t h e s t e m an d t u rn t h e c ap u p s i de do wn . Lo o k fo r t h at lo ve ly blu e - li lac an d g e n t ly s me ll t h e g i lls . Yo u s h o u ld i n s t an t ly be h i t wi t h a s t ro n g p e rfu me - li ke s me ll. P e rs o n ally, t h e s me ll re mi n ds me o f P arma- vi o le t s we e t s . H o we ve r, fe llo w h u n t i n g fri e n ds di s ag re e wi t h me o n my Ble wi t s me ll p e rc e p t i o n . C ap : 6 - 1 2 c m ac ro s s S t e m: 1 5 - 2 5 mm Fle s h : Yo u ’ ll n e ve r fo rg o t a Ble wi t s me ll ☺ G i lls : C ro wde d – blu i s h - li lac – fadi n g wi t h ag e t o almo s t bu ff S p o re p ri n t : P ale p i n k H abi t at : Wo o dlan d – h e dg e ro ws – g arde n s – au t u mn / wi n t e r E di bi li t y: E xc e lle n t ( s t ro n g flavo r) Aft e r le arn i n g Ble wi t s , I p u rc h as e d a mu s h ro o m bo o k an d s t art i n g walki n g mo re i n wo o dlan ds .
I hope this information proves useful, GOOD LUCK with finding your shrooms. instagram@tin_coal_barn
PHOTOGRAPHER FEATURE
JORDAN EVANS-VINEY
instagram@jordan_evans_viney
DYLAN LEWIS INTERVIEW BY ANDY CRAYTON
PHOTOGRAPHS BY BEN HAIZELDEN ARCHIVE PHOTOS FROM DYLAN'S COLLECTION
Ok Dyl, let’s start at the beginning, I know you were in Brighton before you made the move to Bristol but where did you grow up and how did you first get into skating, what year did you start? I g re w u p i n a li t t le vi llag e c alle d S t e yn i n g , We s t S u s s e x. My bro t h e r Ki rk RI P , fi rs t g o t me i n t o s kat e bo ardi n g i n aro u n d 1 9 77, we wo u ld t i k- t ak aro u n d. I re me mbe r do i n g c at amaran g s wi t h h i m t h ro u g h t h e c h u rc h yard an d o ff t h e s t e p , aro u n d a fo o t h i g h at t h e bo t t o m o f t h e c h u rc h g ro u n ds . I t was g n arly, i f yo u di dn ’ t s mas h yo u r bac k o n t h e g rave s t o n e s yo u wo u ld s c rap e yo u r h an ds g o i n g t h ro u g h t h e g at e ; o ff t h e c u rb an d do wn t h e h i ll. Be s t t i me s ! ! ! ! T h e n I be g an t o t rave l, s kat i n g wo rt h i n g an d Bri g h t o n e ve ry we e ke n d wi t h t h e li ke s o f C o li n p o p e , Adam e n t wi s t le , li t t le dan , lu ke mc ki rdy, c h as e c t , e ve n p i c ke d u p a s h o p s p o n s e r fro m s p o rt i n g li fe wh o di d a
Mo ve d h e re c o s my mi s s u s Lara di d
g o o d ran g e o f bo ards , ke e p i n g me
h e r Art De g re e h e re . BS 3 fo r li fe .
s u p p li e d wi t h g u e rre ro s , n at as e s ,
Re me mbe r g o i n g t o De an e r, me e t i n g
g at o rs e c t , t h o s e we re t h e days . . .
t h e t wi n s C arl & J as e - S t e f, WE S , P i g Do g ,
I know you have always loved Punk, did you get into Punk through skateboarding ? T h at ’ s my bro t h e r ag ai n . H e j o i n e d t h e Army at 1 6 , wh i c h le d t o h i m me e t i n g di ffe re n t p e o p le an d
P au l, J am, Flu ff, G n arly N e i l,
Yan
, Wayn e , bo u g h t a c h u n k o f h as h an d t h e re s t i s h i s t o ry.
I know you started the DLH Fundays in 1 999 but how did the DLH develop into what it is now?
li s t e n i n g t o lo t s o f s t u ff- T h e
Lo n g s t o ry s h o rt I ’ ve always s kat e d
C las h , Adam & T h e An t s , S mi t h s e c t .
an d be e n i n t o p u n k. I u s e d t o do a
H e t o o k me t o s e e J o e S t ru mme r do i n g
n i g h t at a Be dmi n s t e r p u b, T h e Ro p e
C las h s o n g s at Bri g h t o n Do me i n
Walk, fu ll o f mi s fi t s & dru g g i e s . I t
1 9 8 8 . All t h e s e at s we re ri p p e d u p
was fu c ki n g g re at , fre e fo r all, n o
an d I fu c ki n g lo ve d i t . N e ve r lo o ke d
o n e g ave a fu c k! I wo u ld p ro mo t e
bac k.
ban ds an d DJ u n de r t h e n ame T o t al C h ao s . T h i s ran fo r a fe w ye ars an d
What year did you move to Bristol and what was the Bristol scene like when you moved?
t h e n s t o p p e d. Aro u n d t h i s t i me a s o li d c re w o f fri e n ds an d ban ds be g an t o c all o u rs e lve s t h e De an Lan e H ardc o re .
Mo ve d h e re aro u n d 1 9 9 1 . I mo ve d fro m
An d c o u ld o ft e n be h e ard i n p u bs
a t h ri vi n g Bri g h t o n s c e n e t o a
aro u n d t o wn s h o u t i n g & s c re ami n g o u r
p re t t y de ad s c e n e i n Bri s t o l.
bat t le c ry.
DYLAN & PETE CONNELL “ De e e e e e e e . . E llllll…H aaaai t c h ” . As lo u d as we
N o ru le s , n o s c h e du le , n o
c o u ld, an d fo r as lo n g as we c o u ld u n t i l we g o t
h as s le blah blah blah . Yo u
ban n e d, t h ro wn o u t o r wh at e ve r t h e fu c k e ls e
kn o w t h e re s t .
h ap p e n e d. I always wan t e d t o c o mbi n e p u n k an d s kat e bo ardi n g t o g e t h e r. Wh at be t t e r p lac e t h an t h e De an e r. We be g an t h e Fu n days wi t h 3 0 o r s o p e o p le at t e n di n g , t h e n 5 0, t h e n 2 00. O ve r t i me mo re ban ds g o t i n vo lve d, ri de rs , s p o n s o rs e t c an d i t j u s t mo rp h e d i n t o wh at i t i s n o w.
You have been building DIY obstacles at the Deaner for a long time now, how many obstacles have you built, which is your personal favourite and which was the hardest to build? Bu i lt i n vari o u s p lac e s be fo re t h i s , 1 s t be i n g G n arlylan d at M3 2 c arp ark lo c at i o n . Du n n o h o w man y t h i n g s I ’ ve bu i lt o ve r t h e ye ars , p ro bably 1 5 o r 3 0, wh o ’ s c o u n t i n g . Favo u ri t e i s t h e wall ri de ( at De an Lan e ) c u z i t s a p e rs o n al favo u ri t e t ri c k, p lu s i t ke e p s g e t t i n g kn o c ke d do wn , bu rn t do wn . Bu i lt t h e las t o n e do u ble s t ro n g wi t h c o n c re t e blo c ks an d i t ’ s be e n i n ac t i o n e ve r s i n c e , s t i ll rad t o t h i s day.
DYLAN RUBS HIS TRUCK ON THE DEEP END AT H.O.V. DURING THE DLH TWENTIETH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATIONS PHOTOGRAPH BY BEN
"CAPTAIN" MCCAMMICK-COPLEY
How do you find skateboarding in 201 9 compared to when you started?
You must have seen a lot of crazy shit go down at the Deaner, what are some of the most mental things you have seen, Skateboarding and otherwise?
O h my g o d, j u s t s o man y p e o p le an d bran ds . E ve ry s p o t yo u g o t o t h e re wi ll be p e o p le
We all kn o w mo s t o f t h e fu c ki n g s t o ri e s .
wh i c h i s o k as lo n g as t h e y’ re h avi n g i t .
J u n ki e s , ro bbe ri e s , fu c ki n g e c t e t c , yo u s p ri n g
N o t h i n g ’ s s ac re d an ymo re , an d I ’ m an o ld
t o mi n d t h o u g h . Do i n g all yo u r t ri c ks c o mp le t e ly
bas t ard. Yo u c an ’ t bu i ld an yt h i n g wi t h o u t
n u de aft e r dri n ki n g a bo t t le o f J D. I n c lu di n g
s o me fu c ke r s kat i n g i t be fo re an yt h i n g ’ s
bac ks i de fli p i n t o t h e ban ds t an d. Mu c h p re fe r
dri e d. O bvi o u s ly I ’ m o n ly a ye ar away fro m
s e e i n g yo u i n yo u r c lo t h e s t h o u g h yo u s ki n n y
t u rn i n g 5 0 s o all t h e p ai n , n bu lls h i t ,
fu c k!
mi n d g ame s t h at c o me wi t h i t are an o t h e r
An o t h e r o n e i n c lu de s me ac t u ally. Marlbo ro P e t e
t h i n g . G o t t a be h o n e s t i t s n i c e t o s kat e
h ad j u s t be e n g i ve n g as an d ai r c u z h i s an kle
wi t h t h e o lde r du de s - an d t h e re do s e e m t o
s n ap p e d an d we n t t h e o t h e r way. H e was i n ag o n y.
be a fai r fe w g e t t i n g bac k o n i t n o wadays .
Wh i le t h e p arame di c s we re wi t h h i m I de c i de d t o
C u z t h e y kn o w t h e y’ re g o n n a be de ad s o o n h a
j u mp i n t h e Ambu lan c e i n t h e n u de . ( J o e ) H abg o o d
h ah h a.
t o o k a p h o t o , s h o we d i t t o P e t e wh i le h e was o ff h i s h e ad. Lo t s o f lau g h t e r h a h a .
DLH 20TH ANNIVERSARY DECKS
DYLAN GRABS AT DAVE.
How is skateboarding now as an older guy in his 60s, do you still get the same buzz as when you were younger? De fi n i t e ly g e t t h e s ame bu z z . S t i ll lo ve g ri p p i n g a n e w bo ard, c h o o s i n g s t i c ke rs . S kat i n g ’ s s t i ll i s o n e o f t h e be s t fe e li n g s i n li fe . T h e g re at t h i n g n o w i s t h at t h e re ’ s n o p re s s u re wh e n yo u ’ re o lde r. J u s t h ave fu n . S kat e t h e t h i n g s yo u lo ve . Do n ’ t n e e d t o ke e p bre aki n g bo n e s p ro vi n g a p o i n t , le t t h e yo u n g u n ’ s do t h at . S i t bac k an d wat c h wi t h a be e r.
What does skateboarding mean to you nowadays and do you think you will always be involved in skateboarding in some way? I wi ll always be s kat e bo ardi n g t h at ’ s fo r s u re . U n t i l t h e wh e e ls fall o ff my s h i t t y bo dy. I wi ll ke e p do i n g t h e Fu n days as lo n g as p e o p le are s t i ll i n t e re s t e d an d t h e p e o p le i n vo lve d c an s t i ll be ars e d.
Any shoutouts? T h i n k i ll ke e p t h i s s h o rt an d s we e t c u z o t h e rwi s e i ll fo rg e t s o me bo dy. S o fi rs t an d fo re mo s t my mi s s u s Lara fo r p u t t i n g u p wi t h s o mu c h s h i t fo r fu c ki n g ye ars . My dau g h t e r S o fi a fo r do i n g t h e s ame fo r le s s ye ars . Larki n my do g fo r ke e p i n g me c alm. T h an ks t o all t h e s kat e rs i n Bri s t o l wh o h ave an yt h i n g t o do wi t h me . Yo u kn o w I lo ve yo u all. S ame g o e s fo r all t h e p u n ks an d e ve rybo dy e ls e I c o me i n t o c o n t ac t wi t h i n t h i s fi n e c i t y. An d be yo n d an d o ve r t h e ri ve rs blah blah blah . H a h ah a. An d als o t h an ks t o yo u , An dy Rat C rayt o n , an d Be n Do g p i s s . S e e yo u at t h e Fu n day. C h e e rs .
ILLUSTRATION BY FEEKSTER instagram@feekertron
DYLAN AT HIS SPIRITUAL HOME. NAMASTE. NOW FUCK OFF.
Interview conducted in the Mardyke, Bristol 1 7/1 2/1 9 Age? 45
What’s your current occupation? Ware h o u s e Man ag e r Ro c ks o li d s kat e
CARL VANCE INTERVIEW BY BAILEY PHOTOGRAPHS BY BEN HAIZELDEN & STARKY
di s t ri bu t i o n
How long has your old ass been skating? 3 1 ye ars
Who was in the Ipswich scene at that time? C h an n o n Ki n g , J u li an S h arp , Be n Ro dri g u e z , Dan Mac au lay, J o n Mi n t a,
Damn.. how often do you skate?
J as o n an d J ami e Be n n e t t Fran k
E ve ryday t o wo rk! As mu c h as p o s s ,
S t e p h e n s , U t t y, J ame s C o o p e r, An dre w
at le as t a fe w t i me s a we e k we at h e r
S t ark, S t i g , Be n Marr, Bri an
p e rmi t t i n g
Wi lls o n , S i mo n Vi c ke rs RI P . . J o dy Ro dg e rs , T i m Bro wn an d t h e li s t g o e s
How long do you think you’ll keep skating? T o i n fi n i t y an d be yo n d
Where did you start skating? I p s wi c h
on
So why did you end up moving to Bristol? I s t art e d t o g e t a bi t bo re d o f I p s wi c h , my g i rlfri e n d J o h was i n U n i i n I p s wi c h an d was n ’ t fe e li n g i t
What was the scene like growing up in Ipswich?
s o I s u g g e s t e d mo vi n g Bri s t o l. I ’ d be e n h e re a c o u p le o f t i me s an d i t
Ye ah i t was s i c k, t h e re was lo ads o f
s e e me d li ke a n i c e c i t y wi t h a g o o d
s kat e rs , di ffe re n t c re ws di ffe re n t
s kat e s c e n e s o we mo ve d o ve r
are as , an d be c au s e t h e re we re a c o u p le o f U S ai r bas e s i n t h e are a
Who were your early Bristol crew:
t h e re we re a fe w g o o d Ame ri c an
G u f, P au l & S t e ve Ale xan de r, Li t t le
s kat e rs i n my n e i g h bo u rh o o d wh i c h
Du n c , C art e r, Flyn n , Re n o , C rawle y,
p ro bably p u s h e d t h e s c e n e mo re t h an
Le e J o rdan , yo u
i f t h e y we re n ’ t abo u t …. t h i s als o me an t we g o t a lo t o f h i p albu ms
What’s up with your links to Denmark?
p re - re le as e o ve r h e re
O bvi o u s ly my g i rlfri e n d o f 2 0+ ye ars , J o h , i s Dan i s h . I fi rs t we n t
We u s e d t o make s c e n e vi ds be fo re
o u t t o Arh u s , De n mark fo r t h e i r
an yo n e was p ro p e rly h o o ke d u p , j u s t
an n u al p art y we e k ( lo o k i t u p ) ,
fo r o u r mat e s t o wat c h . Fran k
re ally e n j o ye d t h e c i t y, t h e s kat e
( S t e p h e n s ) s e n t t h e m o u t wh i c h
s c e n e was s i c k an d h ad a s c h o o l
c au g h t S i de walk’ s at t e n t i o n . O n a
c alle d An ag h ai l wh i c h was re ally
re g u lar we e ke n d we ’ d g e t h e ads fro m
g o o d t o s kat e . I h o o ke d u p wi t h s o me
Fe li xs t o we , C o lc h e s t e r, Wo o dbri dg e
lo c als … s h o u t o u t Ki m S t ae r an d fro m
an d S u dbu ry vi s i t i n g u s be c au s e we
t h at p o i n t o n I vi s i t e d at le as t
h ad s u c h g o o d s p o t s
o n c e a ye ar
LATE 90'S BACKSIDE FLIP PHOTOGRAPH BY STARKY
CARL VANCE / NOLLIE TAILSLIDE TO SWITCH CROOKED GRIND PHOTOGRAPH BY BEN HAIZELDEN
I remember you going there to judge some comps? Ye ah I was t h i n ki n g I mi g h t h ave t o e n t e r bu t lu c ki ly Ki m as ke d me t o j u dg e , fo r fre e fo o d an d be e r, c o u ldn ’ t t u rn t h at do wn !
What do you think about comps in general? I li ke t h e Wo rld C u p an d t h e E u ro s , t h at ’ s abo u t i t …
Favourite place ever skated and why? P ari s I t h i n k, wi de s mo o t h s t re e t s lo ads o f g o o d s p o t s …
Any funny stories from Paris trips? H a, ye ah , I was c h i lli n g , lo o ki n g o u t t h e wi n do w o f o u r flat an d n o t i c e d s o me g u ys we re p i c kp o c ke t i n g p e o p le o n t h e s t re e t be lo w. I n fac t , o n e o f o u r c re w h ad t h e i r walle t t ake n by t h e m t o o . I was p re t t y dru n k an d t ri e d t o t h ro w o u r ke ys do wn t o i n vi t e o n e o f t h e m u p fo r a fi g h t , bu t fo rt u n at e ly H o rs le y t alke d me o u t o f i t . Du de was p re t t y bi g s o t h an ks H o rs le y.
Worst slam you've taken? I was t ryi n g a n o s e man n y do wn a mu lt i s t o ry c u rb, I h i t a we t p at c h an d s li p p e d o u t an d di s lo c at e d fi n g e r an d c u t my e ye bro w n e e di n g s t i t c h e s . An o t h e r fu n n y o n e was g o i n g fo r a ri de o n fi ft y t o li p s li de . I di dn ’ t re ali s e I was n ’ t i n g ri n d an d s t art e d t o ro t at e , p u t my fo o t o n t h e g ro u n d an d h e adbu t t e d t h e ro u g h as s flo o r. My mat e S t i g was lau g h i n g n o t kn o wi n g h o w bad i t was s o I s t art e d c h as i n g h i m ro u n d t h e s p o t c o ve re d i n blo o d!
What are your interests outside of skating? Fo o t ball ( E ve rt o n FC ) , s p o rt s i n g e n e ral, rap mu s i c .
Any funny celebrity sightings while out skating? Ye ah , I g o t a c o u p le ! T h e re was a N i ke c o mme rc i al I was au di t i o n i n g fo r. Bas i c ally, I was s u p p o s e d t o be s kat i n g do wn t h e s t re e t do i n g a fe w t ri c ks , c au s i n g mi s c h i e f an d t h at . I t le ads t o a
Worst trend you've seen in skateboarding over the last 30 odd years? Maybe s ki n t i g h t j e an s , ri p s o p t i o n al…bo o t c u t j e an s . O n a p e rs o n al n o t e p ro bably ke y c h ai n s . I h ad o n e s mas h me i n t h e fac e wh e n do i n g a t ri c k o n c e !
What would you be doing if you hadn't started skating? J u s t re t i ri n g fro m my fo o t ball
c o n fro n t at i o n wi t h a G ladi at o r ( wh o t u rn s o u t t o be Rh i n o ! ) h o ldi n g a wo o de n s wo rd. S o , h e ’ s s wi p i n g abo ve my h e ad, wh i c h I h ave t o du c k, s wi p e s do wn be lo w, I j u mp an d t h e n i t e n ds wi t h h i m h i t t i n g me an d me blo c ki n g i t wi t h my bo ard!
You got any other good gladiator stories? H a ye ah , me an d t h e bo ys we re o n a ro ad t ri p s o me wh e re , we s t o p p e d fo r fu e l an d I s p o t t e d s o me h o t lady. S o , I g e t bac k t o
c are e r…
t h e c ar, s e e h e r ve h i c le an d t e ll my mat e s
Favourite era in skating and why?
lo o k an d Wo lf i s i n t h e p as s e n g e r s e at o f
All i n all p ro bably t h e mi d 9 0’ s p ro bably be c au s e t h e re was a lo t o f c h an g e an d lo t o f di ffe re n t s t yle s c o mi n g i n . I fe lt I was le arn i n g a lo t o f s t u ff, g e t t i n g i n t o rai ls an d flat bars . An d n o s kat e s t o p p e rs !
t o c h e c k h e r o u t wh e n s h e dri ve s p as t . We h e r c ar g i vi n g u s a di rt y lo o k!
CARL VANCE / NOLLIE TAILSLIDE PHOTOGRAPH BY BEN HAIZELDEN
CARL VANCE / HEELFLIP FAKIE PHOTOGRAPH BY BEN HAIZELDEN
CARL VANCE / FRONTSIDE NOSEBLUNT PHOTOGRAPH BY BEN HAIZELDEN
Skate trip stories?
Ye ah I was o u t o n t h e p i s s i n Barc e lo n a wi t h T i m C rawle y an d Dan Le e c h at a p re t t y c o o l bar. C rawle y wan t e d t o g e t o u t o f t h e re s o we walke d p as t t h i s h alf e mp t y n i g h t c lu b. T h e do o r s t aff o ffe r u s vo u c h e rs fo r fre e dri n ks wh i c h we g ladly ac c e p t . T h e y t h e n as k u s fo r 2 0 e u ro s fo r t h e “ fre e dri n ks ” s o we s t art e d arg u i n g wi t h t h e m an d le ft . T h e do o rman c o n fro n t e d me an d was all u p i n my fac e , I t ri e d t o ke e p h i m away an d i n do i n g s o I ac c i de n t ally ri p p e d h i s I D o ff. S o we j u s t le g g e d i t . C rawle y e n de d u p j u mp i n g o ff a balc o n y an d fli p s t h e g u y o ff, an d we all ran o ff i n di ffe re n t di re c t i o n s . I was ru n n i n g ac ro s s a bri dg e o n t h e way t o t h e Ramblas . . li t t le di d I kn o w, i t was a s wi n g bri dg e s o t h e re was a 5 0ft g ap . I c o n s i de re d j u mp i n g an d s wi mmi n g bu t de c i de d t o walk bac k. Bu t as I was h e adi n g bac k a h arbo u r c o p s t art e d wh ac ki n g me wi t h a bat o n s o I j u mp e d o ff t h e bri dg e i n t o t h e wat e r. Lu c ki ly t h e re was a le dg e c lo s e by wh i c h I s wam t o an d p re t e n de d t o be h alf de ad wh i le t h e c o p s we re lo o ki n g fo r me . T h e c o p s c au g h t me an d g ave me a blan ke t
an d t e lls me t o di s ap p e ar. S o I di d, fre e z i n g i n t o t h e n i g h t . Lu c ki ly I h ad all my c as h s t as h e d i n my s h o e ! H yp e d t o g e t away fro m t h at o n e i n o n e p i e c e bu t t h e le g bru i s e s made i t di ffi c u lt t o s kat e t h e re s t o f t h e t ri p !
Ok, lets switch it up and ask some quick questions… Favourite spot in Bristol? Llo yds
Favourite spot in Ipswich? Fi s o n s RI P
Favourite video? Mo u s e
Favourite section? Mari an o i n Mo u s e
Favourite sponsor you've had? G o ve rn me n t … Fami ly allo wan c e . Bu t t h an ks t o e ve ryo n e wh o h o o ke d i t u p o ve r t h e ye ars !
Favourite beverage? Fi s k
Favourite album? Bac k i n t h e day p ro bably E P MD S t ri c t ly Bu s i n e s s
Favourite skate company? Ae s t h e t i c s
Favourite gladiator? N i g h t s h ade !
Favourite skater? I p s wi c h days I ’ d s ay J o h n Mi n t a, J u li an S h arp an d Be n Ro dri g u e z . Bri s t o l p ro bably S t e ve Ale xan de r an d Bo yo . Wo rldwi de J o vo n t ae T u rn e r, Mari an o ( 9 1 - 9 7 e ra) , P e n n y, Bryan H e rman , Kali s …
Favourite trick? T o do mys e lf n o s e blu n t s an d t re ’ s . T o s e e o t h e r p e o p le do , fro n t c ro o ks an d bac k s i de n o s e blu n t s
Worst spot in Bristol? Mo s t s kat e p arks …
Worst company? T wo Fi s h . T h e y t ri e d t o h o o k me u p o n c e ac t u ally. Bac k i n t h e day be fo re yo u ’ d t u rn do wn s p o n s o rs h i p . T h an k fu c k I di d t h at t i me !
Worst trick? S au s ag e G ri n d ( wi lly g ri n d t ai l g rab)
Worst trend you’ve seen in 31 years of skateboarding? We ll t h e c o u n c i l s p e n t 3 0g ’ s i n o n e day p u t t i n g s kat e s t o p p e rs all o ve r c o lle g e g re e n an d li t t le Llo yds an d t h e n blo w a lo ad mo re c as h o n s h i t s kat e p arks . Fu c k Bri s t o l C i t y C o u n c i l fo r blo wi n g lo ads o f c as h o n s kat e s t o p p e rs wh e n t h e y c o u ld be s o lvi n g t h e c i t y’ s h o me le s s p ro ble ms o r ke e p i n g yo u t h c lu bs o p e n . I t c o s t s aro u n d £1 5 . 00 fo r a h o me le s s p e rs o n t o s t ay i n a h o s t e l p e r n i g h t an d t h e c o u n c i l are s p e n di n g t e n o r h u n dre ds o f t h o u s an ds o n s kat e s t o p p e rs . T h i n k o f t h e mo n e y t h at s kat i n g bri n g s i n t o t h e c i t y, lo t s o f t ale n t e d s kat e rs mo ve h e re t o wo rk i n c re at i ve i n du s t ri e s . T h e y c all u s an t i - s o c i al bu t we ’ re a mi xe d bag o f p e o p le g e t t i n g alo n g an d ke e p i n g fi t an d o u t o f t ro u ble . Lo o k at S c an di n avi a, t h e y bu i ld c i t y are as fo r mi xe d p u rp o s e s t h at i n c lu de s s kat e bo ardi n g
Trick you should be able to do but can't Fro n t c ro o ks , bac k s mi t h s an d vari al h e e ls !
Favourite bar in Bristol? O u t s i de t h e Fi n i !
GASCOIGNE
INTERVIEW BY MATT DEAKIN
MORBID
SKATEBOARDER FEATURE
PHOTOGRAPHS BY STEVEN
Morbid is an obsessive. Morbid did a stint at Ideal during his work experience at 1 6. I can’t say I remember much about that period as it was so very long ago but there is photo evidence so it did happen. He wouldn’t have been asked to do any work so his week would have been spent lurking which I think he has long perfected. Like most skateshop lurkers he had ambitions to have a shop of his own and lo, he created Ripride which was a shop unlike any other in the UK. It only stocked the goods that Morbid would actively rep. A shop without compromise. . *fun fact, When the mini ramp was by the shutter at Radlands Morbid punched an inline skater out of the air mid trick. No doubt the binliner was visually offensive. Kris Ludford - Ideal Skateshop
How did the name Morbid manifest (presuming it's not the name on your birth certificate)?
Ah, my mate Steve came up with that one. I was about 9, taking loads of slams and getting back up with a smile on my face. He decided I was a Morbid Child & it's stuck - probably cos I hated it so much... When & why did you start skating? I got my first board for Christmas in 1 987. I'd been to Dudley in the Summer and saw some kids skating a makeshift ramp in the street. It looked amazing. Talk us through your first set up & what you're riding now My first board was a shitty Turbo II. My first real set up was an SMA Natas Kitten, I had Indys & some hand me down A1 Meats wheels...these days I ride an Anti Hero 8.75", Indy 1 59's & Spitfire Tablet 53mm/1 01 a with Bones Swiss. You've been pretty lucky to have had a lot of your early skate history documented through the LSC vids & photography...what moments stand out from those days? I dunno about lucky! I watched them all from Promo 1 through 1 2 the other week - there was a definite mixture of pride & shame! I do really appreciate having them though...the biggest stand out is that we had a really good scene & a great crew. What's the gnarliest story from those videos? I dunno, there was some pretty oddball behaviour in most of them. I guess a few of us got a pretty notorious rep for a certain video we filmed on the south coast! There's a story that you got a yeah off Sean Sheffey when you were 1 2, then ended up getting pizza with him. Is this true or have I made this up? Haha, yeah it's true - I didn't get pizza though. Sheffey was rad, it was on a Planet Earth/Life tour - they did a demo at the Boys Club ramps. You used to bully the shit out of me... he dropped a yeah & you lot had to find someone else to pick on! Instant cred! On that same day I bought some Deadbolts off Craig Johnson in the back of the Zorlac van - after I handed him the cash he dropped the worst fart ever and locked me in the back - don't mess with Texas! What are the biggest challenges & differences to a skater in the twilight of their youth? I dunno. For me, I had a couple pretty big injuries, 6 surgeries on my shoulder & a pretty severe illness so that has all played it's part. I guess I've had to change the way I skate, I do yoga, I stretch before and after a session, I gave up drinking a couple years ago...I feel better now than I did in my 20's...
BLUNT FAKIE / PHOTOGRAPH BY STEVEN GASCOIGNE
LATE 90'S OLLIE / PHOTOGRAPH BY STEVEN GASCOIGNE
What motivates you to still get out there? I still have fun! I love skateboarding. I love seeing new product, the mags, the vids...I love it all.
Music is a pretty big part of your life too... Yeah, the first videos we watched were Public Domain & Speed Freaks. Speed Freaks especially had a big part in getting me into Punk, they were SST heavy. Jason Jessee was a massive influence (get a good record collection & tattoos!) & still is. I hate what the messageboarders tried to do to him. What's the bigger crime to skateboarding: Animal Print knee pads or the Olympics? Hey, there's nothing wrong with Animal Print knee pads! I don't really wanna go near the Olympics...there are a lot of sensitive 'skateboarders' out there! Future plans in skateboarding? I know I'm gonna skate until I can't, that's a given. I was working on a Ripride part & getting the shop reopened but that's been shelved. There's talk of linking up with my friends at Ideal...they've been helping me out with product since the shop closed, I’m so grateful for that. I've been raising cash and working on plans for another local park with Canvas, hopefully we'll get that built for Summer 2020... Any thanks? Ben for asking me to do this, Steve G & Oskar for the 8am Sunday photo missions, Keith, Rod, The Dids & the rest of the LSC, Matt Deakin, George & Little One, Kris & Zip at Ideal, Mikel at Deluxe, the crew that rip & respect the Leam park & everyone that supported Ripride Skateshop.
SWITCH FRONT SHUV / PHOTOGRAPH BY STEVEN GASCOIGNE
BILL GARDINER
ARTIST FEATURE:
The closer you look the less you see Flip it upside down, is it you? Is it me? Harness the colours of cruelness and creed I’ve got five if you want three X
instagram@avantgardiner6661 01
THIS PAGE: JOHN HOWLETT / NOLLIE FLIP & BACKSIDE NOSBLUNT
4 PHOTOGRAPHS FROM BARCELONA
MYLES RUSHFORTH / NOSEBLUNT
BY ROB SALMON
JAMES WILLET / FS GRIND GRAB
NEILOLITHIC SCOTLAND AERIAL VIEWS OF SCOTTISH SKATEPARKS BY NEIL DAVIDSON INSTAGRAM@ITSNOTJUSTCONCRETE
' Itsnotjustconcrete' instagram (instagram@itsnotjustconcrete) is an aerial study of the concrete skateparks of Scotland. There is no definitive list of the numerous parks scattered around Scotland - and when you do manage to see photographs of the parks, they are often low quality and give little indication of the parks' layout or scale. My mission is to remedy that. I am also interested in the way parks sit in the landscape - what shapes they form and how they have weathered through time. I want the pictures to almost be an archaeological document - as if we are searching for fragments or clues as to what is going on here. At the end of it all I may publish a small book or zine. The provisional title is ' Neilolithic Scotland' . Neil Davidson
4BYPHOTOGRAPHS RUBEN MORAIS CLAUDINO DANIEL CRESPO / ONE FOOT
PEDRO ROSEIRO / KICKFLIP
DABADIE THEO / FS 5050
DANIEL SANTOS / BS SMITH
JACK A. SNELLING
Jack Snelling is a cartoonist and illustrator based in Brighton, via Weston-superMare. His oddball images and comics poke at themes of childhood nostalgia and flights of fancy with a resolute eye for experimentation and whimsy.
HOW TO MAKE POOL COPING BY DANIEL BISMOR
GO TO INSTGRAM@RURALWEAR TO SEE MORE OF DANIEL'S WORK
DANIEL HOCHMAN / OLLIE UP KICKFLIP OFF / SEOUL SOUTH KOREA PHOTOGRAPH BY JOHN FINUCANE
WILL 'KEEN WILL' STRADLING / BEAN PLANT FAKIE / DEAN LANE PHOTOGRAPH BY JAMES COLLINS
EDDIE BELVEDERE / FS 5.0 / PLYMOUTH / PHOTOGRAPH BY DANNY J. PARKER
MAX HAWKE / WALLRIDE / PHOTOGRAPH BY DANNY J. PARKER
STEPHEN LANSDOWNE / FS OLLIE / BODMIN / PHOTOGRAPH BY JAMES COLLINS
JOE HILL / 5.0 ON A FRIDGE / PHOTOGRAPH BY BEN HAIZELDEN
NIC CHAPPELL / FS AIR / DAVESIDE-BRISTOL / PHOTOGRAPH BY BEN HAIZELDEN
AMY RAM / FEEBLE FAKIE / BARCELONA / PHOTOGRAPH BY CRAIG DODDS
DARIO MATTARO / NOSESLIDE / BARCELONA / PHOTOGRAPH BY CRAIG DODDS
GEZ / BACKSIDE BONELESS / M32 BRISTOL PHOTOGRAPH BY BEN HAIZELDEN
AUSTIN BARNES / PHOTOGRAPH BY JON ZONER
ALEX HALLFORD / BACKSIDE BONELESS ABOVE GRADE A GRAFFITI PHOTOGRAPH BY NEIL TURNER
TOMMY / SWITCH FRONTSIDE WALLRIDE PHOTOGRAPH BY NEIL TURNER
To The Lakes At the sound of sunrise they charged, Hauling caravans named after birds and adventure, Glamour itself, 1 litre boxes, motorbikes and sidecars, To the north they ate tarmac and sausage rolls, Soaked to their vests and bras in the bank holiday heat, Sweating last night’s work drinks out, just a couple, Big weekend ahead and all that, Past motorway service stations, And teenagers, punctured, on the hard shoulder, Let’s keep our spirits up, here give us a swig, The vino appears, onward through England’s verdant chest, Another in the passenger seat applying make-up, How do I look Gary? Linda says, Cracking, as another fat bug, Explodes across the windshield in daffodil yellow,
THE STRANGEST PET ON EARTHS POEM
POEM BY BRUCE MCCLURE ILLUSTRATED BY HENRY 'SWAMPY' MOORE
We’ll be there soon, I can hardly contain myself, There’s a canoe strapped to the roof and some bikes on the back, But whether they get any use, I hope not, I hope it’s a good year Linda, I really do, It’ll be fine, she squeezes his arm, At the thought of Terry and Sandra from Norwich, And what’s her name, Rhymes with Jenny, Penny, Penny with the big tits, That’s the one… They’ll be swinging in The Lakes tonight.