10 Life Lessons Learnt Living in Doha

10Life Lessons Learnt Living in Doha

Doha life—it has its challenges, and it has its rewards. Here at Doha Family, we live for the good stuff and love it when we realise that expat life has taught us things we might not have learnt back home. To celebrate our 10th anniversary, Emma Morrell shares the top 10 lessons she learnt from being an expat in Doha.

1. Life Is an Adventure

When you arrive in a new place, everything seems so fresh and exciting. There's something about moving somewhere for the first time that makes us channel fresh energy into setting up a new life.

Saying yes to every invitation and opportunity is the best way to start your adventure in Doha. From exploring the beaches and sand dunes with new friends to heading to movie nights and theme parks with your family, there's more to do all over the country than may at first meet the eye.

Which, ultimately, begs the question: why didn't we approach life like this back home?

2. Wherever You Go, There You Are

Many people come to expat life expecting every day to be glamorous, and others come to escape their lives back home. But once you're here, you realise that neither of those things is possible 100% of the time.

Expat life includes the humdrum routine of school runs, sick days, and family arguments. Poor quality relationships, health problems, and issues at work can all follow you to Doha, and bad weather, horrible bosses, and friendship dramas can happen anywhere.

Handling all these things gracefully is a skill that not many people—expats or not— can claim to do, but just being conscious of them is a great start. What we will also tell you, though, is that a bad attitude can absolutely guarantee a bad experience. We know that because we've all met the newbies (and oldbies) who are having a bad time of it. Those people might be harking over the good old days in [insert location that they loved], or they might be new expats who never wanted to move in the first place. They might be going through marital problems or health problems. Perhaps they are facing pressure from home or inside themselves, causing them to second-guess their move.

You can't always know what the problem is or if you have control over it. What you can guarantee is that it will have a direct influence on your experience here.

3. Attitude Is Everything 4. Make Here Home

Bear with us here. A good attitude can't fix mould in your villa, a boss who bullies you, children struggling to adapt, or crippling mental illness. Any seasoned expat who has completed several successful assignments will tell you that a good attitude can't guarantee that the next post will also follow suit. Lots of people don't appreciate the value of making a home in a foreign land. Qatar has such a transient community, and many arrive not knowing how long they will be here. Indeed, they often leave other residences behind them in their countries of origin. Here's the problem: you'll never truly settle if it doesn't feel like home.

If you can't afford to move all your possessions to Doha or want to maintain your family home, that's okay! There is still plenty you can do to make your new space feel like it's yours. Take the time to bring some familiar belongings with you, get photos printed and put up in your new place, or go shopping when you get here to make your new pad feel like a place you love. Your home should be your sanctuary!

That being said, you'll soon realise that a home is so much more than the four walls around you. The people inside it are what really counts—the love you have for each other and the memories you make together are the most important things.

Expat life, particularly at the beginning of a new assignment, can take a huge toll on your physical and mental health. The scorching summer months in Qatar make it hard to go outside and get fresh air or do almost any sort of exercise. Getting out of the house to meet new people for the umpteenth time is draining, and keeping a whole family happy, away from the

5. Protect Your Physical And Mental Health 6. People Make the Place

network of family and friends that you had at home, doesn't always leave much time for exercise, meditation, or "me time". That doesn't mean any of it is less important. As the saying goes, you can't pour from an empty cup. The benefits of taking care of your physical and mental health will have long-ranging benefits for your family, friendships, and overall Doha experience. From indoor exercise classes and pampering sessions to coffee mornings and just hanging out with your new friends, any little thing to help preserve and improve your well-being is worth it.

Ultimately, the people you surround yourself with are the ones that will have the biggest impact on your life in Doha. Living in a swanky compound or driving an expensive car won't do that, nor will any amount of retail therapy in one of the many malls around. What will make a difference is having lots of happy people in your life instead of negative people who will bring you down with them.

With so many expats living in the city, finding the people who light you up might take some time, but you will come across them in the end. Head to groups that do things you love or try that class you always wanted to take. Or, you could do something completely different! Just do

what it takes to find people with common interests. It can take time to find the right mix of people because, remember, just because you fit doesn't mean you belong, but persevering will pay off.

7. Patience vs Control 8. Capture the Moment

Despite having little influence over many aspects of expat life, expats are closet control freaks. We try to regulate any part of our lives we can to offset the lack in other areas. But Doha will put your patience to the ultimate test. This will happen when you're figuring out how to get your driver's licence or why your rescue dog has two microchips. You will be pushed to your limit when you realise that your shipment has been held up in customs for an inexplicable reason or that the road you drove down yesterday has been replaced by a new one, so now you don't know where you are.

Yet, it will also make you learn that you have zero control over when you get that license, that two microchips are better than one, that your shipment will eventually arrive, and that there are apps like Waze to help your frazzled driving brain. What's more, you'll laugh about it all later! The truth is we didn't have control back home either, no matter how well we held up that illusion. And good things come to those who wait…or have wasta. They say that nothing lasts forever, and nothing could be more accurate in such a fast-changing environment like Doha. Every year, people leave and arrive, old roads close and new ones open, and we add another year of experience to our expat lives.

At home, these transitions and changes are subtler, and those "lasts" aren't always so obvious. We might not realise it is the last time going to that playground or the last time we will see someone. While the same can sometimes be said in Doha (looking at you, closed road!), we are often more acutely aware of our changing environment, which means we notice and appreciate those lasts more keenly.

As such, we find that we take notice (and photos) of the lasts, and we appreciate the little things much more than we might have done at home. Mundane routines such as regular play dates, evenings at the compound pool, and weekly carpools suddenly take on more meaning, and we feel the need to capture those moments in a way we might never have done but wished we had at home.

9. Time and Distance Aren't Linear 10. You're Stronger Than You Think

Obviously, in absolute terms, both time and distance are linear, and generally, it feels true. But in expat life, time and distance seem to bend more than at home. It seems incredible that friends who have long left Qatar but kept in touch seem closer to us than our neighbours. In the same way, it seems inconceivable that the first month we lived here felt like it lasted 1,000 days, yet the two years that followed flew by in the blink of an eye.

Over time, you will learn that you can go five years without seeing friends and then spend two hours over dinner talking as if you were picking up from last week. Yet, you might also lose touch with friends from home after an awkward evening out where you realise that you no longer have anything in common. You might find that when faced with oh-too expensive tickets to get home for a funeral, you have never felt further away from home even though the distance has stayed the same. To invoke the wisdom of Winnie The Pooh, you really are stronger than you think! How many of you have talked with friends back home and heard them say, "I could never do that"? Sure, they might be saying that in admiration of your resilience and bravery, or they could be giving you a back-handed compliment. Whatever their intent, know that not everyone can do this life. When you feel like giving up, look at how far you have come and how you have done things that many others couldn't (or wouldn't) do.

You've left your home and everyone you know. You started again and found everything from housing and schools, to doctors and supermarkets, to playgrounds and social activities. You've done the small talk and navigated getting employment and dependant passes. You've suffered through homesickness and physical sickness, self-doubt, and other people's negativity. Yet here you are, on the other side! Those setbacks couldn't define you. Instead, they made you stronger.

The life lessons this city teaches us are valuable and will last longer than most of our time here. Strength, resilience, bravery, and perseverance are some of the best traits we can learn in expat life, and there's nowhere better to learn them than right here in Doha.

DF