Family Matters December 2013-February 2014 by St. John Bosco Today

Volume 1 • Number 1 December 2013-February 2014

THE MAGAZINE FOR THE FILIPINO FAMILY

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• Video game addiction signs • Catﬁshing alert • Boys’ style guide

Teach children self-respect

FamilyMatters

Volume 1 • Number 1 • December 2013-February 2014

Homework

Christmas: A Celebration of Life and Love

Family Note

A Renewed Focus on Family

Letters Frameable

Good Things Come in 3s

Budgeting Home Economics Parenting When School Isn’t Cool Managing Shortcuts to a Spotless Home Improving A Crash Course on Dieting Celebrating Marco and Lara: Why We Say ‘Sorry’ Teaching From Parents with Love Preventing Microbiology 101: Parents’ Edition Valuing The Real Meaning of Respect Family Instinct A Counterculture Emerges

• Game’s Up! 27 • Barbie Forteza at Sweet 16, 30 • In Style, 32 • The Heart of Christmas, 34 • A Woman on the Go, 36 • Beware the Catfish, 38 Cover: Photographed by Raymond Mamaril

Eating Cool Cookies! Enterprising How to Put Up an e-Biz Recycling Limits to Leftovers

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’Tis the season to express our gratitude to God for redeeming mankind. By Fr. BerNarD P. NOlaScO, SDB

By Fr. Bernard P. Nolasco, SDB

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DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

If we remove a fish from the water, it will surely die because fish need water to live. Similarly, the end of a person’s life begins once he gives up his power to love or once this power is denied him. He may continue living physically, but his inward being is either dead or dying. Being abandoned or rejected kills the spirit of any person. Feeling alone and ignored makes one feel extinct. The worst that can happen to a person is when he begins to fail to love himself. True, when a person stops loving, he also stops being happy with life. Only those who are in love can experience the true meaning of being alive. I believe that when God decided to become a man, it was because the God of life and love cannot stand seeing his most beloved creatures being spiritually dead in their fallen nature. The offense man committed against God was so immense

that to redeem himself was beyond his limited capacity. Divine justice knew that only God could pay for the debt of man, and the same divine justice knew that it was man who should make the necessary reparation. Divine love solved this issue when God himself decided to pay for man’s debt to him. Divine justice solved it, too, when God became man in the person of Jesus, the Son of God, true God, true man.

Waiting for the coming This is the story of christmas, a story of life and love. after the fall of man, humanity waited for the coming of the promised Messiah. Long lay the world in sin and error pining/ Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth. with the fall of man, humanity was ejected from God’s paradise. Humanity became an outcast, stripped of every right to inherit the kingdom of God. But what made humanity not lose hope is its faith in God as a loving Father. Indeed, for right after condemning man for the sin he committed, God promised the coming of the Messiah, as expressed in Genesis 3:15: And I will put enmity, between you and the woman, and between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise His heel. Bible scholars consider this as the first prophecy of the coming of christ. No wonder this verse is known as the protoevangelium, or the first good news where God assured humanity that His love will find a way to redeem man. Truly, the birth of our lord Jesus set up the possibility of the Incarnate Son of God fully paying for sin by the death of his body on the cross. yes, from the manger to the cross, the God of life and love paved the way for humanity’s redemption from sin to grace, from death to life. That holy night in Bethlehem was the long-awaited night when even the celestial domain could not contain its joy. we read in St. luke’s

Gospel that the great company of the heavenly host appeared in the sky, praising God and singing, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favour rests.” (2:13)

www.GraceFIlleDwOrlD.cO

Our best gift every time we celebrate christmas, the Solemnity of the lord’s Birth, we celebrate humanity’s biggest hope of being brought back to life through God’s ever enduring love. every time we look at the image of the infant Jesus in the manger, we see ourselves being given the chance to be redeemed from death to life, from sin to grace. we give thanks to God for not abandoning us, for loving us with a love that

went to the ultimate extent of emptying himself of his divinity and taking the form of a slave, and being made in the likeness of men (Phil.2:7). Because of this love, we should be forever grateful. and the best expression of our gratitude to God is by making ourselves a fitting gift for him who has made himself the best gift for all of us. This is christmas. even if the world of consumerism and materialism has already invaded this holy season with its extravagance, we are always reminded by our church to observe the real meaning of this holy season with hearts grateful and renewed. This season may we never forget the love we have for Jesus/ Let him be the one to guide us as another new year starts/ And may the spirit of Christmas be always in our hearts. a blessed christmas to all.

DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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FamilyMatters bookmark

cut out and paste on a cardboard, punch a hole, and put a ribbon through.

Holding this magazine titled Family Matters in your hands, you might think that there has been a mistake and wonder where the latest issue of your regular CodeRED is. But no, there is no mistake. we have bid good-bye to CodeRED, even as we extend our heartfelt appreciation to the publication and the many families it had served since its launch more than nine years ago with the maiden issue of July-September 2004. The change underscores our effort to publish a family magazine that perfectly captures our mission to highlight the Filipino family and the beautiful ways its values and principles can be strengthened for a better society. The new Family Matters takes over what CodeRed has begun and hopes to take things further as it endeavors to form loving, happy, and christ-centered families. The new masthead defines the magazine’s identity and direction. “everything in this magazine is all about family matters because we truly believe that family matters,” explains our publisher, Fr. Bernard Nolasco. Please welcome Family Matters with the same support and enthusiasm you did with CodeRED. we would also love to hear your thoughts on this change. let us know how we can update and align the magazine to deal with the modern concerns and challenges of your family. This significant development comes at a memorable and joyous time, with the nation celebrating the yuletide holidays. But as we were preparing this issue, we heard the awful news about the 7.2-magnitude earthquake that crushed the provinces of Bohol and cebu in October, claiming more than 200 lives and upending the lives of countless others. Just two months before this literally earthshaking catastrophe, Typhoon Maring in august brought rampaging floods to wide areas of Metro Manila and nearby provinces, leaving behind a swath of garbage, destruction, and ruined dreams. Not surprisingly, many Filipinos cannot feel the spirit of the season. and who can blame them? For us lucky ones for whom the devastation was just disturbing images on the TV screen, we have only immense gratitude for the shielding hand of the lord, even as we commiserate with the victims of disasters. Still, there is no stopping christmas, calamities and all. The ever-resilient Filipinos will once more be celebrating the happiest time of the year with gusto, marking Jesus christ’s birthday and the birth of a new year with the traditional Noche Buena and Media Noche with their loved ones. But perhaps, like a growing number of Filipino families do, we can start putting a new spin to our yuletide celebrations. we can opt to share our blessings and bounties not just within our immediate circle of family and close friends, but beyond our boundaries to envelop our unfortunate brothers and sisters in christ. There are a myriad of ways to go about helping. It doesn’t have to be a grand, sweeping gesture or an adult-led undertaking. Families are bonding over preparing relief goods and going on-site to hand out simple but lifesaving supplies. On their own, many youngsters are setting aside a part of their school allowance and donating their savings at the end of the year to help send poor children to school or feed malnourished kids. a truly meaningful christmas requires the willingness to step out of our comfort zone for a more subdued festivity at the end of what has been just another year of plenitude. Our sacrifices may seem trifling to us, but they mean much to those who have less, or have nothing. Our little acts of kindness affirm to their recipients that the world sees them and cares about their plight. and they affirm the only way that Jesus christ wanted his birthday to be observed—as a season of sharing. Merry christmas to all!

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DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

- Washington Irving

Photo by Jun Pinzon

romelda c. ascutia, editor e-mail: rascutia1000@gmail.com

Christmas is a season for kindling the ﬁre for hospitality in the hall, the genial ﬂame of charity in the heart.

FamilyMatters Volume 1 • Number 1 DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014 PUBLISHER Fr. Bernard P. Nolasco, SDB EDITOR romelda c. ascutia ART DIRECTOR aurie anne alcantara COLUMNISTS atty. Tito r. Bundang couples for christ CONTRIBUTORS Junnette abrera Maridol rañoa-Bismark aileen carreon excel V. Dyquiangco erlinda esguerra cecille esperanza annabellie Gruenberg Gabriel Joshua Floresca ruth Manimtim-Floresca Ime Morales Stephanie Mayo anna Nina Saldaña ross Valentin, M.D.

Kuya Kim’s charmed life

your article on Kim atienza [September-November 2013] was an engaging, inspiring read for me and my whole family. His life is a wakeup call for us adults about the importance of not neglecting our health, no matter how busy we may be with the business of living. I am rooting for him in all the sporting events he joins, like that Ironman competition he has been training so hard for. But what really draws out my admiration for him is how he always prioritizes his family above all else. He wants his wife to be happy always, he wants his children to go to good schools abroad, and he and his wife have already made their future secure with wise investments. He won’t hesitate to say no to drinking sessions with his buddies if it will mean taking time away from family, work, or sports. How great is that? I get the impression that his wife and children feel very secure and lucky to have him as the head of the family. Dulce Villadolid

Happily surprised by Julia

Thank you, CodeRED, for featuring Julia Montes [September-November 2013]! you made the right decision. I’m impressed with her dedication to her craft, her determination to give her family a nice life, and her levelheaded ways and mature thoughts, especially those on not rushing into relationships or creating embarrassing controversies.what’s more, I did not know until now that she’s into commendable advocacies, too. I really love this issue!

PHOTOGRAPHER Jun Pinzon CIRCULATION Jaymie Ibana HAIR & MAKEUP ARTIST ranilo “Paula” D. Gabor LEGAL COUNSEL Sapalo Velez Bundang & Bulilan law Offices PRINTER Don Bosco Press, Inc. is a quarterly magazine published by Don Bosco Press, Inc. antonio arnaiz corner chino roces avenues P.O. Box 1601 McPO, 1223 Makati city Philippines all rights reserved © 2014 by DON BOScO PreSS, INc. No part of this magazine may be reproduced without permission from the publisher. Telefax: 892-8174

Jing Mendoza Shaira Barrameda

Blowing one’s top

everything that was said in the article “all in a Day’s work” [September-November 2013] resonates with me. I’m a single parent with a heavy work schedule that unfortunately affects my disposition when I am at home. Sometimes I am so tense coming home from the office that I can sense my children staying out of my way for fear of my scary outbursts. I totally subscribe to what the experts recommend—that stressed parents like me should have some “me time” to help us relax. I’m also trying to put separating lines between my home life and my work.The good news is, I recently signed up for a time management seminar for professionals and it has done me a lot of good. I’m glad your magazine really takes on the realities of parenting and gives sound, useful advice. Connie Legarda

Tell us what you think! Your news and views are welcome. E-mail us at rascutia1000@gmail.com. All submissions become the property of codereD and will not be returned. Letters may be edited, and full names will be published unless otherwise specifi ed by the sender. DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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3 best ways to celebrate 3 special occasions in 3 months By Fr. BerNarD P. NOlaScO, SDB If you agree that the best things in life are free, then here are three great ways to spend Christmas Day, New Year’s Day, and Valentine’s Day as memorably and meaningfully as can be… without spending a single centavo. Thank God in a special way for the gift of love and life. Christmas: we remember how God made the sacrifice to become man to redeem us from sin. attending the Holy Mass on christmas Day with a grateful heart will help us touch the core of this grace-filled day. New Year: we look back on the previous year with all its twists and turns, its ups and downs. They have made us see life as a treasured gift from God. let us enter the New year with God’s blessings. Valentine: The power to love is something divine. loving makes us true to our being created in the image and likeness of God. let us love God above everything.

Thank all the people who make you feel special and loved. Christmas: Make a priority list of people you wish to pray for and express your biggest thanks. They are the people to whom you owe your life, your education, your career, your faith, your values, and your principles. Send them your heartfelt personal greetings and messages. No forwarded message, please. New Year: as you participate in the Holy Mass on this first day of the year, pray for the intentions of people you personally know, especially those who are in very difficult situations. Valentine: This day is not only meant for cupid and his lovers but for all loving people as well, especially those who go out of their way to reach out to people in need. reach out to others and be reached by others, too.

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Thank yourself for being your own best friend through thick and thin. Christmas: Spend a personal spiritual recollection any day from December 16 to 24. Make yourself realize that the best christmas gift God has given you is yourself. learn to continue loving yourself as God loves you. you are the best reason God became man. New Year: Prepare your three practical New year’s resolutions to becoming the best person God wants you to be. remember that resolutions are meant to be fulfilled to serve the common good. Valentine: Only those who know how to love themselves can truly love others. This Valentine’s day, give yourself self-appreciation and self-affirmation for being your best companion. learn how to live as someone created in the image and likeness of God.

Kick off 2014 with a practical, worthy, and doable resolution: to improve your family’s saving and spending habits.

By ruTH MaNIMTIM-FlOreSca PHOTOS By JuN PINzON

ilipinos always put the care and nurture of their family as their top priority, but when it comes to securing their loved ones’ financial future, many apparently are at a loss on how to go about it correctly. according to financial services company Sun life Financial’s 2013 “a Study on lifestyles, attitudes, and relationships Financial literacy advocacy report,” 87 percent of Filipinos are optimistic about their financial future over the next three to five years. The findings were gathered from face-to-face interviews with 1,100 respondents from the middle- to upper middle-class families. Of those polled, 20 percent claimed to be experts in finance, 46 percent DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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said they fell between being a novice and an expert, and 34 percent admitted to being a novice. But the basic financial literacy quiz results revealed that only 8 percent scored above 80 percent and nobody got over 91 percent in financial management understanding. when asked to define financial security, majority of the respondents said it was “having enough bank savings.” This answer tallies with studies showing that eight out of 10 Filipinos still prefer to save in banks as a way to prepare for the future.

United front Marvin Germo, a registered financial planner, says that the new year is a good time for families to start reflecting on their saving and spending habits and improving them. The key to it all is sticking to a sound family budget. “But before anything else, husband and wife should have the proper mindset to go into it as a couple,” he says. Germo notes that some of his clients have no idea how much their spouse earns or that they are already heavily in debt. He says partners should have a specific understanding between them to combine their earnings and treat their finances as one. It is not right for the wife to say, for instance, that it’s okay if her husband buys a new gadget because it’s his money, anyway. “what they don’t see

is that what the husband spends can put a strain on the family’s overall finances,” he says. “Make financial decisions and do your budget as a family after first setting aside money for savings and investments,” he adds, telling people to follow this equation: income minus savings equals expenses. “whether it is slated for savings or investing, that should be the very first amount to be set aside before

you try to live off the rest.” with savings or investments already taken care of, next comes defining your priorities separately and then uniting them as a couple. rank everything in order of your real needs as a family, with the wants coming after. Germo says there’s no rule of thumb on what should top the list, but couples should consider prioritizing

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educational funds if they have children. every peso should have a purpose in the family budget, whether it’s for the kids’ tuition, groceries, or recreation expenses, advises Germo. “at the end of the day, your budget should amount to zero. It should not be negative or positive. If it’s positive, that means there is extra money you were not able to allocate and which could have been used for other things, or added to your savings. If it’s negative, it simply means you’re spending more than what you earn or have.” Have a mechanism or system that will force you to follow your budget. For example, if you can enter data on a computer spreadsheet, or jot down your expenses in a notebook, you will see easily if you are about to exceed, or have exceeded, your spending on a particular allocation.

Allocating for expenses even though their salary often increases the longer they have been working, a lot of Filipino couples still find themselves financially short by the end of the month. Germo says there are areas where they can make adjustments to fit their budget. when going to the grocery, always

ensures it’s a planned, not a sudden, decision. Set a monthly budget for groceries and stick to it, and remember to make a list of what to buy before leaving the house. During times when your budget is smaller, exercise creativity. Skip your usual branded items for cheaper alternatives. Don’t go to the supermarket on an empty stomach, especially if eating out that day is not in your budget. also, do not bring the kids along if you tend to indulge their demands to buy unnecessary stuff. Germo says people must not spend more than 30 percent of their income on food and transportation. “If you spend more than that, it means you’re buying things that you don’t really need.” Set aside money for educational funds while your child is still young. The amount will depend on the school you choose and the years you’ll have to save up. For instance, if you have 10 years to save for your child’s high school fees amounting to

but parents should not go into debt doing it while neglecting their retirement plans and their own financial future.” Germo says that if parents consider education a top priority, they should know enough to scrimp in other areas to give it the importance it deserves. “Be realistic and identify what you can really afford. Try to apply for scholarships. If that is not possible, find alternatives that will fit your budget. when extra money comes in, that’s when you adjust. Otherwise, go back to your budget.”

Investing in business Germo predicts that the Philippine economy will continue to improve in 2014. “So find chances where you can make your money work hard for you. In a growing economy, the best place for families to be in is to have their money invested. If you can go into an industry that’s consumption-driven, it will be a good place to supplement your income.”

There are ways to increase the family budget, says Germo. “either decrease your expenses or increase your income. If you think you have tried saving in all areas of your budget, maybe it’s no longer a question of managing your money well but a question of increasing your income. consider going into business.” Statistics show that 70 percent of Philippine business revenue is driven by people’s consumption, according to Germo. “If you can find a way to tap into that, such as in the food industry, it may not lead to a lot but it may still provide you an extra amount of money.” Germo further instructs parents to educate their children as early as possible about the value of saving and investing. If parents instill in their children the right mindset about handling money, they will grow up knowing what to do when they start working and earning their own income. “The earlier people invest, the bigger the potential of their money. It’s not about focusing on money but on seeing its value especially for when they get older.”

a total of P400,000, you should compute now how much money to set aside on a monthly basis. “The earlier you start saving, the less strain it will be for you,” reminds Germo. How about those families whose children are already in school and who are having a hard time meeting their matriculation payments? “People say that education is very important because it will give their children a better future. But I always tell them not to get into debt sending their children to schools they can’t really afford,” explains Germo. “It is good to give children a good education DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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How should parents react when their child doesn’t get along with the teacher? By IMe MOraleS PHOTOS By JuN PINzON

n her first day in college, Jenny met Professor X, a teacher who was known around campus for being highly critical and cynical, especially toward his students. Jenny saw confirmation of this when, during introductions, Professor X immediately made fun of his students’ names. He told Jenny, for instance, that her pretty name didn’t match her looks, especially her skin color. understandably, Jenny took this badly and began to feel anxious about coming to his classes. She told her mother, anna, about it, and at first, anna wondered what the appropriate action should be. Should she report the incident to the higher authorities, or just let it slide to keep the peace? Conflict is defined as “the clash of two forces, oftentimes due to differing beliefs, needs, or expectations.” conflicts can happen inside the classroom, and when they do, it can be a very uncomfortable and unhealthy experience for both educators and students. classroom conflicts can happen between teacher and student, student and student, and even class and teacher. They can erupt in various ways, in varying severity, frequency, and circumstances.

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Why conflicts arise There are many reasons for classroom conflicts. Miscommunication is a common one. another is a student’s misbehavior. examples are when students consistently challenge their teacher’s authority or knowledge, intentionally disrupt classroom discussions, or exhibit obnoxious behavior like deliberately offending fellow students or the teacher. On the other hand, some instructors are themselves the cause of conflict.

examples are teachers who can’t or don’t teach well, or can’t manage the classroom very well. Other teachers also exhibit annoying habits like arriving late to class, imposing frequent and lengthy overtime periods, expecting students to comply with unreasonable or unnecessary requirements, and being unprepared or disorganized. when a conflict arises, the school administrator, principal, or guidance counselor needs to sit down, listen, and empathize with the child—in case the child decides to bring up the matter with a school authority, says Marie ann abacan, principal of Sophia School in Meycauayan, Bulacan. “let the child calm down before giving your own interpretation of the situation,” abacan says. “and don’t give any negative remarks about the teacher in front of the student.” It is best to catch conflict early, before a small thing gets blown out of proportion. address the issue early so there is enough time to intervene and apply the appropriate solution.

Parental action Parents also need to know what to do in case these things happen. Here are some tips from abacan:

1. Make time for your child. Find time every day to talk to your child about the day’s activities. let him feel that you care and are always ready to listen. 2. Be fair. consider both sides and ask your child what he might have done to upset the teacher. Together, figure out what should have been done to avoid the problem. 3. Have a parent-teacher conference. Talk to the teacher with

an open mind and heart; there is no need to engage him in argument in order to get even. Get the teacher’s point of view and keep in mind that the welfare of your child is the most important consideration. Talking to the teacher will also help you find out how your child behaves in school. 4. Always follow up with the school. communicate with the school regularly to get feedback on your child’s performance and behavior, and to see if there are any other problems. But make sure you don’t do it too frequently. The teachers also have other students to attend to. Going back to Jenny’s problem, anna advised her daughter to deal with the situation quietly. She explains, “I realized that these challenges can be viewed as opportunities to educate my child about the people that she will meet in life.” School prepares young people for the

bigger world, particularly on how to cope with difficult bosses, obnoxious coworkers, and similar negative persons they will encounter in the future. “Besides, the teachers will always have the upper hand,” she shares, referring to the possible repercussions that filing a formal complaint might set forth. “It won’t do any good, and it will just strain relations further.” Mother and daughter took a different route instead. anna encouraged Jenny to study harder, to always attend classes prepared, and to comply with all of the requirements. “I told her that instead of focusing on what your teacher is doing, just prepare,” shares anna. She believes that these things will make her daughter tougher and teach her to be understanding and sympathetic. “we know that it’s nothing personal. For all we know, the teacher may be the one who is insecure about his own physical appearance, which is why he’s taking it out on the kids,” anna says. “For as long as things don’t get out of hand—no one is getting hurt or is being deliberately given a failing mark—then we’ll manage the matter on our own,” anna explains. “No need to involve the school authorities.” as with many other things in life, prevention is always better than cure. all the parties involved (students, teachers, school authorities, even parents) must take preventive measures to avoid clashes inside the classroom. It also pays to be prepared when they do happen. Students, parents, and teachers must be ready to go through a healthy and productive dialogue, while the school administration must be ready to implement policies governing the issue. when everyone takes preventive measures against potential conflicts, there is a greater chance of keeping a peaceful and enjoyable atmosphere inside the classroom. DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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leaning up isn’t always fun, not when you have a thousand and one other things to do. yet it needs to be done regularly—and fast. Busy moms need not pull their hair in frustration each day over a disordered house. rule No.1 is to delegate, according to working mom carmina esguerraco, chief executive officer and cofounder of Bronze age Media, Inc. “Do not try to do everything. I’m a firm believer in outsourcing cleaning tasks, especially the ones that give me the most headaches, so I don’t spend time getting annoyed about them.” you can involve your children in doing chores by assigning age-appropriate tasks to them. Or if you have the financial resources, hire some help to do the regular cleanup, saving the more intensive ones for when you are there to supervise the sorting and discarding. However, if you need to deal with the dirty job yourself, there are creative ways to get it done fast and easy. Getting your stuff and your time organized can spell the difference.

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Our room-byroom cheat sheet to a cleaner house in a ﬂash. BY ANNA NINA SalDaNa PHOTOS By JuN PINzON

By keeping clutter to a minimum and organizing each room wisely, regular cleanup can be a breeze. Make use of what is available out there: baskets, boxes, containers of all shapes and sizes. “we have a book basket, a toys basket, a pen and crayon basket. No matter how chaotic things become during the day, they have a proper place to return to at night. Or when I’m tired, I just have a designated corner that I push everything into, for sorting later,” says carmina.

Living room The living room is the first room that visitors see when they step into your home, so keeping it always clean and orderly is important. Keep your daily cleanup simple. Have a waste basket and a bag or box with you before you start, then start gathering up the mess. Trash goes into the waste basket while stuff that does not belong in the living room goes into the bag or box. you need not sort these immediately; just set

them aside for the moment. Next, dust and wipe shelves, tabletops, decor, picture frames, and mirrors, making sure to return everything to its proper place. Then sweep and mop the floor. Vacuum only if you have time. lastly, spray some air freshener to keep the room smelling good.

Kitchen and dining room a part of the house that goes through much wear and tear several times a day is the kitchen. The first thing to do here is to de-clutter. Keep the ones you use daily at eye level and easily accessible. The less frequently used ones go either on the higher or lower shelves. “I take out only enough of each item we need—a plate, a set of utensils, a glass per person in the home—and the rest are in storage. This guarantees that dishes aren’t stacked

up unwashed. we serve food in pretty storage containers,” says carmina. Dishes should be dealt with a few minutes after every meal. If you wait for when the kids are in bed, exhaustion will creep in, making it more difficult to do them. It might help to fill a basin with soapy water before cooking to stack your used dishes and utensils in. Mop daily to get rid of spills and sticky mess, giving special attention to areas of food preparation and family meals. This will make your more thorough monthly mopping much easier and faster. as for the refrigerator, it is best dealt with the day before you head for the grocery. By then, it is nearly empty and much easier to clean. washing or wiping anything you put into it and keeping its contents organized reduce the need for frequent cleanups. you may want to leave a box of baking soda in there to keep odors away for up to six months.

Bathroom Multitasking is the key to a spanking bathroom. carmina recommends cleaning during bath time, going for one part of the DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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bathroom each time. “This saves a day or two of major bathroom cleaning, and I don’t feel as stressed about it,” she says. Have a cleaning kit with everything you need and store in a safe area in your bathroom. The sink, shower, and toilet can be sprayed or pre-soaked while you tidy up the mess or sort out your medicine cabinet. you can even do daily spraying of your bathroom walls and curtains after you shower to prevent buildup, making your more intensive cleaning session later much easier and faster. Keep an old toothbrush around to clean crevices, grout, and faucet fittings. Just make sure to mark it to distinguish it from your personal toothbrushes.

Bedroom Keeping our most personal space in the house clean need not be a major production number each day. Before starting, make sure everything you need is on hand. Gather all clothes strewn around, with the dirty ones going to the hamper and the clean ones refolded and re-hang back in the drawer or closet. Deal with the trash, make the bed, then gather all the things that need to be put back in their proper places in a bag, basket, or large container for sorting out later. when you have removed all of the objects lying around, start dusting cabinets and shelves from top to bottom, straightening items, and then sweeping, mopping, or vacuuming the floor. Sort through your baskets and containers and put away their contents; you can do this the next day if pressed for time, but never allow them to sit and pile up for days.

The big cleanup General cleaning can be done once a year, according to Tanya lara, who writes advice on home and cleaning

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matters, DIy projects, and decorating ideas. In her Philippine Star article “Spring cleaning Tips,” lara says this means removing the things you have no use for and “allowing your closets to breathe.” This is the time to sort through everything and decide what to do with your discards and keepers. you can enlist the help of everyone in the house and assign a task to each. again, ensure you have everything you need beforehand. you can begin with a corner room for one-story homes and work inwards, or at the top corner of a multi-level house and work downwards, according to lara. The bottom line is to stay organized. as what personal organization franchisor Betty Fein said in the article “Get Organized! cleaning Pros Offer Tips” at entrepreneur.com, “Don’t think of your clean sweep as an all-ornothing mission. Instead, make a routine checklist and break it up by room or project. Tackle a different task, one hour each day. Set a timer and see if you can beat the clock.”

Before you shoot for instant weight loss post-holiday, read on about the dangers of mindless dieting. By eXcel V. DyquIaNGcO PHOTOS By JuN PINzON

DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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• Eat right. Says Magat: “adhering to a healthy diet plays a vital role in losing the pounds accumulated during the holiday season as well as in maintaining a healthy weight.” a well-balanced diet has five elements: adequacy, proportionality, balance, moderation, and variety. • Scale down your dinnerware. We tend to consume all the food we have on our plate. use smaller plates and bowls to make yourself eat less. • Savor your meals. eating slowly helps you enjoy the food and consume only what your body needs. conversely, eating quickly—in 20 minutes or less—makes you overeat and feel uncomfortably full later on. • Share your food. Offer your food to a coworker or a friend. when you eat out of a food package, for instance, you might consume everything in it, regardless of how many servings it contains. • Choose your drinks. The best way to lose those pounds is to drink water. energy drinks, soft drinks, juice drinks, and coffee are high in calories. limit

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DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

Diet don don’ts These eating habits not only promote weight gain, they also increase your health risks.

IlluSTraTION By rIcuS aFaBle

Diet dos

your alcohol intake, too. Just like solid food, these beverages can pile on the poundage around your tummy. • Keep your fridge well stocked. Fill your ref or shelves not with rich, unhealthy food but with healthy, nutrient-dense food. when your larder is full, you are less likely to call the pizza parlor for home delivery service or drive through a fast-food chain. Some essentials to store in your kitchen: frozen vegetables, prewashed greens, precooked brown rice, canned beans, canned diced tomatoes, dried nuts. • Use non-food options as a stress reliever. People tend to overeat when they are stressed. They hide in the kitchen to assuage their cravings, hoping not to have to share the food with others. But dieticians say it is better to use non-food alternatives when you get stressed. These include reading a good book while cozying up on the sofa, listening to music, writing your thoughts in your journal, practicing deep breathing, taking up a new hobby, and looking through family photo albums. Do whatever works for you, except overeat.

IlluSTraTION By rIcuS aFaBle

ow that the glow of the holiday season has dissipated, you’re pained to see the evidence of your binging on hamon, kare-kare, and lechon at your recent clan reunions and office parties—those added pounds on your midsection. Now you’re resolved to go on a diet—the faster it works, the better! But clinical dietician Jessica cagat warns that not all diets are beneficial for your health. “There is a science behind losing weight and a science behind nutrition as a whole—and this has been the subject of studies that have been going on for years,” she says. “People who try on any kind of diet, especially those they just read online, might be exposed to health risks. So it is really best to consult a professional or an expert when wanting to lose weight.” Here is a crash course on the correct and incorrect ways of shedding that unwanted fat.

Diet or die? Some popular but questionable diets to be wary of. • HCG Diet. This extreme diet involves injections of the human chorionic gonadotropin, the hormone that pregnant women make. HCG has not been approved for over-the-counter use to induce weight loss; in fact, the government advises people to stay away from OTC weight-loss drugs. Additionally, this diet can pose major health risks, such as heartburn, if undertaken without professional monitoring. • Fruitarian Diet. People on this diet eat only fruits, nuts and seeds, vegetables, and grains for their supply of calories. True, fruits are good for the body—they are naturally high in fi ber, have powerful antioxidants, and are rich in vitamins A, C, E, and K. However, fruits lack other needed nutrients, such as calcium, iron, zinc, vitamin D, and the B-complex vitamins. It can also be too low in protein and fatty acids. • High-Protein, Low-Carbohydrate Diet. This diet, which includes Dr. Atkins’ New Diet Revolution, reduces your craving for carbohydrates to limit your intake of pasta, rice, potatoes, vegetables, breads, and starchy vegetables. Instead, you are encouraged to eat high-protein foods such as chicken, beef, pork, fi sh, and egg. In the long run, this diet can put you at risk for illnesses like constipation and worsen existing gastrointestinal diseases. Too much protein can also put a strain on your kidneys. “If weight loss is your goal, there are safer ways to lose weight,” says clinical

• Skip meals or starve yourself. when you take irregular meals, your stomach’s capacity for food increases, which makes you consume more when you do eat. Don’t skip breakfast, in particular, since this is the most important meal of the day. Having breakfast inhibits overeating throughout the day and keeps your metabolism humming. eating small frequent meals consisting of three major meals and two to three snacks in between is recommended over just eating two or three large meals a day or eating nothing at all. Frequent eating prevents you from consuming more during your next meal. Of course, it’s equally important to choose the right kinds of snacks and meals. Try to avoid soft drinks, pastries, cakes, desserts, candies, chocolates, and other highcalorie foods. • Adhere to fad diets. They not only don’t last long, they also often provide only short-term results. always keep in mind that no pill, food, or product can magically burn off fat while you sleep or

dietician Jessica Cagat. “Talk with your doctor, registered nutritionist-dietitian, or other health care provider about how to make healthy changes that lead to permanent weight loss, such as eating a balanced diet and getting regular exercise.”

watch television. In fact, fad diets and products can even pose health dangers. To really lose weight, you need to follow a physical activity program and a balanced eating plan. • Go on a crash diet. This is a method of losing weight really fast in a short time by severely reducing your daily calorie intake. It is, however, just a short-term solution that increases your body fat levels in the long run. when you engage in crash dieting, you lose muscle and fat and lower your metabolic rate. Muscle

burns calories, but fat doesn’t, so when you stop dieting and eat normally again, your body burns even fewer calories than before because the amount of muscle in your body has decreased and your metabolic rate has slowed. Bad eating patterns can also adversely affect your general health—just one cycle of weight loss and weight gain can contribute to an increased risk of coronary heart disease, regardless of body fat levels. DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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Marco and Lara’s married life is peaceful and blissful, founded as it is on trust and forgiveness. By MarIDOl raNOa-BISMarK

Marco and Lara:

why we say

ince getting married in 2012, Marco alcaraz and lara quigaman have been on an exciting journey of discovering each other’s hidden but surprisingly delightful facets. Marco is happy to find an understanding wife who gives him space and doesn’t easily lose her cool. “Minsan, tinotoyo ako. May moods ako,” Marco admits. In times like this, lara stays calm and just lets him be. The 2005 Miss International titlist also trusts him completely, not taking it against her husband if he goes out with the boys every now and then. “I know

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DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

who he’s going out with and where he’s going, so why will I even doubt him?” asks lara. Marco, for his part, makes sure his wife has no reason to doubt him. “I make sure that I don’t break her trust.” But happy as they are, Marco and lara have their usual share of arguments. unlike some proud couples, however, they always patch things up at once. It is Marco, says lara, who often swallows his pride and says sorry— no matter who is at fault. “Siya ang unang naglalambing. Matigas ako. Pwede ako hanggang umaga [He’s the first to approach me. I can stand the heat even until the next morning].”

For Marco, there’s no point in letting anger get the better of him. The Salesian priests who guided him when he was studying in a Don Bosco school taught him the value of forgiveness well. This, coupled with communication, is the key to a successful marriage, he believes. “The secret of a happy marriage is forgiveness. lara and I learn many things from each other as we grow together as a couple,” he says.

Post-partum blues after lara gave birth to their firstborn Noah lamar on November 10, 2012, Marco noticed how depressed his wife became and took it upon himself to remind her, “you’re as beautiful as ever!” lara admits she threw vanity out of the window when she got pregnant and gained 50 pounds in the process. “I didn’t think that I’d look different. all I thought of was my baby. I ate halo-halo because I believed the baby needed it.” realizing later on that she should continue to take care of herself and her appearance even though she’s already a mom, she worked hard to regain her whistle-bait figure. Now that she can

wear form-fitting clothes again, lara tells her fellow moms to take care of their looks as well, as it will boost their self-confidence. and with her svelte figure back, lara was also able to go back to work—made a better actress by motherhood. lara starred in the teleserye Little Champ and is now also on aBS-cBN’s Juan dela Cruz. Marco is equally busy, currently playing an anti-hero in the GMa 7 romantic comedy Prinsesa ng Buhay Ko, the comeback project of love team Kris Bernal and aljur abrenica.

and lara brings Noah with her whenever she can so his needs are not neglected. It is Marco, reveals lara, who spoils Noah.“Minsan pinag-aawayan namin iyon kasi kapag umiiyak ang baby, kalong agad. Sinasabi niya, ‘Sige na, kawawa naman.’ [we sometimes fight because Marco immediately cuddles the baby when he cries, doing it out of pity].” Marco, on the other hand, takes his hat off to lara for being a terrific mother. So hands-on are lara and Marco that they didn’t get a nanny immediately after the yaya left when Noah was six months old. “I had to let go of the yaya because she didn’t heat the milk stored in the refrigerator,” lara explains. eventually lara got her trusted assistant of six years as Noah’s nanny. “Marco’s parents and mine are not based in Manila. They’re abroad, so I felt I couldn’t trust anybody with my baby except her.” lara says she is happy to see how her baby has taken to his new nanny right from the start. “May nanay-nanayan na ngayon ang anak ko [My son has a surrogate mother],” she adds.

Biblical role model The God-fearing mom named her son Noah after the biblical figure who built the ark that housed the Great Flood’s survivors. “He’s my favorite Bible character. He continued to build the ark even though other people were laughing at him because that’s what God told him to do.” lara adds that she wants her son to be as righteous and obedient as Noah. as for Noah’s second name, Marco combined their first names to come up with “lamar.” Noah had a fun-filled first birthdaycum-dedication, where his kiddie guests arrived in animal costumes reminiscent of the pairs of animals that boarded Noah’s ark. Practical lara decided to combine the birthday celebration and dedication so they didn’t have to spend twice. Now that Noah is a year old, will Marco and lara give him a sibling—a girl this time? Marco thinks it’s a good idea, but he’s in no hurry. He’d rather plan his family and wait four more years. “It’s better for us to enjoy each other first. If we wait four more years, Noah and his sibling will be graduating [from school] at the same time.” and if their second baby is a girl, Marco plans to stop there. “Naka-quota na,” he explains. If they could have one little Marco and one little lara at home, the alcaraz couple says they couldn’t ask for more.

Hands-on parents No matter how busy they are, the couple lavish time on little Noah. Marco and lara take turns watching over the boy, DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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Turn this day of hearts into something truly special by celebrating it not just with your spouse but with the whole family. By ruTH MaNIMTIM-

hether still dating or already married, couples often make Valentine’s Day the singular special occasion of the year during which they go all-out to demonstrate their love for one another. For partners with children, the day of hearts holds the unique potential to expand those love gestures and enclose the whole family in a warm embrace of affection. Thanks to the Internet, people today have become at their most connected than at any other point in mankind’s history. “unfortunately, we are also the most disconnected ones,” observes life and wealth coach chinkee Tan. “The family can be in one room but no one talks to each other. Dad is on the computer, mom is using her tablet, son is playing with this wii console, and daughter is listening to her music player,” he says. Parents should thus regularly make the time and effort to close this emotional gap within the family, says Tan. In particular, they can take advantage of the coming Valentine’s Day to draw up activities that will further strengthen family ties and teach

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IlluSTraTION By By rIcuS rIcuS aFaBle aFaBle IlluSTraTION

FlOreSca

their children the true meaning of Godcentered love. Here, he comes up with ideas for family traditions that your children will most likely remember till adulthood and continue in their own families. Have an early start. Begin the day right by preparing breakfast with a Valentine twist. Decorate the table with fancy plates, napkins, cups, and then serve heart-shaped pancakes or waffles dyed with pink food coloring and topped with whipped cream and strawberry or chocolate syrup. Commemorate in style. Surprise little girls with a new outfit with a cute Valentine’s Day theme. Or if your budget is limited, you can simply jazz up an old shirt with hearts, glitter, and ruffles. even little boys can join in on the fun, since there are now cool boy-themed Valentine’s tees at department stores to choose from. Spread the love. This occasion is a great reason to give back. Practice acts of kindness by thinking of one nice thing you can do for each family member. Keep the focus on deeds, not on material stuff. encourage the kids to make greeting cards and cookies for their grandparents and even your elderly neighbors. Ate or Kuya may want to read a story to bunso, or everyone can help make Dad’s favorite dessert. These small but significant

acts can fill young hearts with the true meaning of giving. Set dates with each child. “aside from family day, which we normally have on Sundays, my wife and I also take turns in dating our three kids one at a time to bond with them, and show them that they are individually important and valuable to us,”

love,” he adds. Tan explains that by giving their daughters flowers, dads will help young girls not to be instantly bowled over by predatory men bearing flowers and chocolates, since they are used to receiving them from their daddies. Write love letters to your kids. In them, enumerate the things you love about

shares Tan. “we take this time to talk to them and get to know them better.” Do something special together as a family. you can mark Valentine’s Day as a game day where everyone gives up his or her gadget in favor of bonding over real board games instead. Or how about taking the whole family out for a memorable dinner in a nice restaurant? you can also consider spreading a picnic feast on the living room floor for an unusual family get-together. Say it with flowers. Fathers should give their daughters roses and chocolates during special occasions, suggests Tan. “Flowers and chocolates are often used by a suitor to express affection and

your little ones. In turn, ask them to reveal the things they love about each family member in a poem or a special note. If they are still too young to read or write, help them make short videos. The point here is to create lasting reminders that will make your loved ones feel special. Share your love story. Valentine’s Day is a nice occasion to tell your kids how you and your spouse met and fell in love. “This is a good way of passing on your legacy to the next generation,” encourages Tan. Show how couples should treat each other. Parents can go one step further and demonstrate how partners should relate to one another by demonstrating respect, honor, and affection for the other. It is also a good time to discuss with your children how to find the right partner in life. “your children depend greatly on your guidance when they are young,” points out Tan. “Make use of the opportunity to train and educate them. If we don’t, the media, their friends, and their movie idols will train and mold their minds on how they should choose their partners in life.” Spending Valentine’s Day with the children might not be as romantic as celebrating it as a couple. But making this day nonexclusive can fill your heart with more love than you ever dreamed possible. More important, it can teach young children about love in all its many splendid forms.

DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

FamilyMatters

How to protect our little learners from diseasecausing microbes in school. By rOSS ValeNTIN, M.D.

IlluSTraTION By rIcuS aFaBle

PHOTOS By JuN PINzON

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DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

he school is our kids’ second home. with the amount of time they spend on the school premises engaging in various activities with other children, it’s no surprise how easily they can come in contact with germs. To safeguard our family’s health, here’s what you need to know about microbes and minimizing their destructive effect on our children’s school life.

Where are they commonly found?

What are germs?

How are germs caught?

Germs are disease-producing microorganisms such as viruses, bacteria, and fungi. They are associated with many illnesses like colds, strep throat, flu, conjunctivitis, diarrhea, and hand, foot and mouth disease.

Germs are everywhere—even, unfortunately, in our kids’ school. They proliferate on campus, such as in the classroom, cafeteria, garden, and bathroom, as well as on the playground. They latch on to many common things, such as water fountain spigots, door handles, tables, pencils, computers, lockers, floors, school bags. They are also carried by both adults and children. Germs are able to survive from a few minutes to a few hours on objects, surfaces, and on the skin. children easily come in contact with germs in many ways. One is when they touch their eyes, nose, and mouth after touching objects that were previously handled by a student with diarrhea who used the

bathroom or a child who scratched his infected eyes without washing his hands. another is when kids run into someone who has colds or cough, or when they share food, drinks, water bottles, and utensils.

How do germs cause harm? Depending on the organ system affected, germs can make children feel unwell, feverish, or weak. They can also cause vomiting, headaches, pain, itchiness, diarrhea, conjunctivitis, skin problems, cough, and colds.

Will children get sick right away after contact with germs? The short answer is no. what children do after coming in contact with germs will likely determine the outcome. Touching dirty things by itself does not make a child sick, but rubbing his eyes or putting his dirty hands in his mouth afterwards can result in illness. How strong his immune system plays a major role, too. youngsters’ immune system is less developed than adults’, making them more susceptible to diseases. DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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How can their immune system be strengthened? Protecting your children from germs begins at home by implementing these healthy practices: • Provide healthy meals and nutritious foods. Offer immuneboosting foods—more of meals with lots of vegetables, fruits, and water, and less of fattening and sugary junk foods. If vegetables and fruits are wanting, multivitamin supplements may help.

• Ensure enough sleep. Sleep and rest are very important for a growing child. They bolster healing, growth, and the immune function. ensure that your children have eight to nine hours of sleep every night. • Encourage physical activity. Studies show that compared to inactive kids, children who engage in regular moderate exercise are much less likely to catch upper respiratory illnesses that can lead to missing classes. Join your children in outdoor physical activities instead of allowing them to play computer games or browse the web nonstop at home. • Ensure completed and updated immunization. Immunizations are an effective preventive health measure against various diseases. Make sure your kids get the right ones at the right age. consult the physician about the vaccines they need.

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DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

• Wash school bags. children often stuff their bags with almost anything, from rotting leftovers to dirty clothes and smelly socks. check and wash their backpacks regularly. • Conﬁne a sick child to the home. A sick child who has a fever is shedding the virus or bacteria and is thus infectious to other kids. Do not let your child come to school if he is sick or until he is fever-free for 24 hours.

How can children avoid germs while in school? while children will always be exposed to them, there are steps to minimizing their risks. Teach healthy habits and practice them yourself. children remember and emulate what they see and hear. It pays to take the time to teach, remind, and encourage healthy habits and practices such as: • To practice proper hand-washing. children should be taught proper handrubbing and hand-washing techniques using soap and water as prescribed by the world Health Organization. Proper hand-rubbing and washing before eating and after using the bathroom, after coughing and sneezing, and after playing lessens significantly the chances that they will come down with something nasty. • Not to touch their face. The face has three distinct entry points for germs— eyes, nose, and mouth. By keeping their hands off these orifices, children reduce

the chance of germs entering their body. • Not to share food or drinks. children like to try each other’s food. always remind them not to share snacks, lunch, forks, or spoons to minimize contact with others. Teach them also not to share water or beverages, water bottles, or cups. your child’s classmate might not know he is sick and spreading his germs. • To cover the mouth and nose when sneezing or coughing. covering them with the hands, the crook of the elbow, or tissue minimizes the spread of viruses and bacteria. If tissue is used, remind your child to throw it in the trash can and wash his hands immediately after. • To avoid close contact with sick classmates. Because of their immature immune system, kids can easily catch others’ cold, cough, or conjunctivitis. Teach them to move away from anyone who is sneezing or coughing. • Not to share personal items. Sharing lip balms, creams, and lotions can lead to skin infections. ear buds, towels, and baseball gloves are also not meant to be shared. In addition, keeping off limits your comb, hat, or helmet can help protect you from something unwanted: head lice. • To carry hand sanitizers. alcoholbased hand sanitizers are useful when soap and water are unavailable. choose the ones that won’t irritate skin. Teach your child to put one on his school desk for easy access and to use it when the water source is far. • To have his own pencil box. This prevents the need to share. Pack his pencil box with pencils, crayons, erasers, rulers, and other classroom supplies. Include mechanical pencils so he doesn’t have to use the classroom pencil sharpener, which is a germs hot spot. • To practice this: BYOB (bring your own bottle). Prepare clean drinking water in a water bottle for your child to take to school. This way he will not have to use the water fountain or drink from classmates’ cups or bottles. If he must use the water fountain, instruct him to let the water run for a few seconds before sipping to wash away germs and to keep his lips and fingers away from the spigot.

Children have never been good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” –James Baldwin

ecades ago, when I was in Grade 1 or 2, one of my classmates was so naughty that the fed-up teacher made him stand in front of the class and take off his pants. Fortunately, his T-shirt was long enough to cover himself. But I can still remember the class giggling as he kept squirming and pulling down his shirt. This teacher just showed her class how to treat people with cruelty and disrespect, lessons she never meant to teach. Nowadays that kind of discipline

Teaching our children about respect is teaching them that it cuts both ways. By erlINDa eSGuerra PHOTOS By JuN PINzON

will be considered barbaric and lawsuit material. and it is. Oftentimes, we assume that children are not yet fully developed human beings, that we can do as we want because they will forget the incident or the feeling anyway. are children any less human than adults? Definitely not. They feel the same as we adults do when we are loved, or respected, or humiliated. as we teach respect to our children, let’s take note of the following:

Treat children like adults Key to teaching respect is to treat children like adults who have their own opinions and feelings, who have their own likes and dislikes. This does not mean always giving in to what they want, but it’s surprising how they can use their mind at a very early age. when I was looking for the first school for my little girl, I took her shopping for DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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schools in the vicinity. we saw several schools, each one attractive in its own way. But I was particularly struck by one simple home-based school run by a motherly individual who had a lovely smile and kept all of her students busy. confronted with this important choice, I decided to get my little girl’s opinion. and she said she liked the one where the children were kept occupied, because “I like to work.” I knew I could trust my little girl, because she always chose well. and I knew respecting her by asking her opinion made her feel like a “big girl” whose ideas matter.

Always set good examples In teaching children the value of respect, let’s make our actions line up with our words. we can lecture them all we want—10 lessons in politeness, five tips for respecting elders, and so on. But what really leaves a lasting impression on a child is less what we say and more what we do. Studies have shown that 95 percent of what children learn comes from what has been modeled for them and only 5 percent from direct instruction. Therefore our task is to make a conscious effort to define and to personify the values that we want to transmit to our children, respect being one of them. To raise polite children, let’s be polite ourselves. The “thank you” and the “please” will fall into place. If we want our children to send thank-you notes, let us send our own thank-you notes. If we want our children to remember birthdays and send greeting cards, then let’s do that too. I’m not so good at remembering

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birthdays, but for those that I remember, there’s always the e-mail or text message or the phone call. I got this habit from my mom, who was the most respectful, thoughtful person I knew. also, respecting other people’s time, keeping the surroundings clean, coming together and enjoying each other’s company at mealtimes, using a little term like po or oho (my preferred term) for elders—all these are little signs of respect I grew up with. One doesn’t even have to teach these things; they just grow on you. use words that build up instead of tear down. I wouldn’t know how to yell at someone or call people names because I don’t have a model for that.

I’ve never seen my late parents shout at each other, and I’ve never been yelled at in my home. It doesn’t mean there are no disagreements in the home I grew up in, but there’s a lot of listening and talking when issues have to be threshed out.

Avoid extremes lastly, let’s also avoid going to the other extreme—where we over-succeed in teaching a child to be respectful that she respects everyone except herself. Teach children that respect is a two-way street. That as much as she respects other people, a child has to demand respect herself. Teach the children not to allow others to steal their rights, their dignity. let us show them that there is a way to express our needs and to disagree without throwing things or saying bad words to each other. Standing up for yourself is the best way to respect yourself. we can never shield our children from unkindness and disrespect. They’re bound to be exposed to the negative side of people sometime, usually starting in school. But if we have built a solid foundation of respect in them through what they see from us, then they will be able to stand on their own, with a healthy respect for others—and for themselves.

Youth Talk:

Addicted? You can pull the plug on your obsession with video games. By aNNaBellIe GrueNBerG PHOTOS By JuN PINzON

DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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Youth Talk:

hy are so many children hooked on video or computer games? The reason is that video games are actually designed to be addictive. remember that the computer game industry is a highly competitive business where manufacturers have to think of ways to entice their customers to keep buying more and more games. So even before a new one is out, the designers are already making a more advanced version that encourages players to increase their game time further and improve their skills in order to beat the highest score. This makes it very hard for gamers to stop playing. Going deeper, video games are designed to play on one’s hidden aggressive and violent tendencies. The negative images send messages to the brain that can affect one’s behavior and imagination, in a process similar to hypnotism. If you notice, the most appealing online games are the ones filled with action, destruction, and violence. Playing these violent games is usually more exciting than watching an action film because you participate—you are the main “actor” in the game. This becomes problematic when some players can no longer distinguish between the virtual and the real world, and start acting out the violence they see onscreen. It is said that video game addiction is the new problem among the young and, surprisingly, even the adults. But you can break that digital addiction if you really want to.

How to quit One of the rules in martial arts is to know your enemy so you know who you are dealing with. a similar rule could be applied to video game addiction: Know what your enemy is so you will know how to deal with it. yes, there is help for you. The first step is to acknowledge your addiction and have a real desire to stop that addiction. Being honest about your affliction and wanting to overcome it is the beginning of taking charge of the problem.

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DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

The next step is to find out how your computer game problem began. Did you start out of curiosity? Out of a need to escape personal or family problems? Out of boredom? Out of a desire for adventure, excitement, a certain “high,” or a “rush” of energy?

Then discover how the addiction got hold of you. Did you feel isolated, bullied, unwanted and found a friend in your computer? Or were you a loner who found new friends through online gaming? Did the virtual world of games give you a sense of control and empowerment, especially when you kill off your opponents and get fantastic scores? Did it become a refuge from the negative feelings or uncomfortable situations you encountered in the real world? These questions can certainly be difficult to answer. It is best if you can work through these issues with the help of a guidance counselor, a trusted teacher, or a psychologist. But you can supplement counseling with an activity called journaling. Get a journal or notebook where you can write down your answers, or anything else you might want to say, for that matter. consider that notebook your BFF. you can write down anything in it and it will just listen to you quietly without judgment or hurting comments. It can also replay exactly what you said, and

from rereading what you wrote, you might discover new things about yourself. Just keep on writing without fear. If you can’t put your feelings into words, then draw or doodle them.

Exploring the real world The real world has so much more adventure, excitement, and good stuff to offer than can be had from the virtual world. Did you know that computers were once nonexistent, and that people not only survived without them, they even lived a better life? People in the past used their time by talking and listening to one another, and doing things together.

Are you hooked?

The real world also offers more benefits than the virtual world ever could. Instead of just moving your fingers over the control pad, it is infinitely healthier for you to engage in activities that involve your whole body, like climbing trees, hiking, or playing in the yard or park. Going outdoors instead of staying cooped up indoors is also good for your health because you get to be physically active and enjoy the sun’s rays, the fresh air, the beauty of nature. as for that adrenaline rush you want, you can acquire a natural “high” by rockclimbing, riding the bicycle, kayaking, or getting a good score in a game of basketball or bowling. Socializing with real people is superior to virtual friendship because hanging out together means eating together, having conversations, and going to places.

If you prefer to be alone for whatever reason, you can explore what talents you have, and later they may help boost your belief in yourself. Try to develop an interest in non-electronic or virtual things, such as the creative arts. Taking up any of the visual, performing, and functional arts, like cooking, pottery, sewing, and woodwork, can expand your skills and maybe even provide you with a source of income at a young age. and if it is not yet possible for you to go on adventures and trips, there is the school library full of reading materials for you to delight in. If you really want to improve yourself, then computer gaming is not the way to do it. Nothing beats going out into the real world with the courage to meet real challenges and the passion to learn about real life and real people. after all, it is the world in which you live!

Go through this checklist and see whether you’ve fallen into the trap of computer game addiction. • Are you too preoccupied with computer games to the point of losing control and being unable to stop? • Do you notice the way you can’t stop thinking about computer gaming and scoring even while in class or doing your homework? • Do you multitask, like eating, watching TV, talking to someone, or doing bathroom rituals while simultaneously playing digital games? • Are people telling you that you have a problem because you are now so impatient, aggressive, hostile, and ill-tempered? • Have you started using cuss words? • Do you stay up late, forgoing sleep as you try to beat your score? • Have you stopped walking the dog, riding your scooter or bike, or playing basketball because you are too busy with your electronic gadget? • Is your and your friends’ idea of hanging out staying in an Internet shop after school until your parents come to fetch you because it is past dinnertime? • Do you feel that you are no longer yourself but have become a character in the game? • Are you so consumed or engulfed by computer gaming that it has become your world, with all of your senses filled with its sounds, images, and even smells? If you answer yes to any one of the questions above, then you might be showing symptoms of video game addiction.

DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

FamilyMatters

Youth Talk:

BarBIe ForTeZa aT

Unlike some celebrity teens, this young star is not afraid to act her age. By MarIDOl raNOa-BISMarK

FamilyMatters

DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

et other teenage stars hurry into adulthood by taking on mature roles that make them look years older than they really are. at sweet 16, Kapuso actress Barbie Forteza prefers to look and act her age. at the surprise party that the network GMa artist center threw for her in a quezon city hotel, the star of the soap series Anna Karenina told media she wants to enjoy fully that fleeting stage between childhood and adulthood. This is why she prefers to dress her age and stay fancy-free. “Hindi pa ako feeling dalaga. So enjoy lang ako before I turn 18 [I still don’t feel like a woman. So I will just enjoy myself before I turn 18],” says Barbie, who turned 16 on July 31. The birthday girl came to the surprise party in a floral dress and high-heeled shoes that said she’s no longer a child but not yet a woman. Her supportive parents were also on hand to greet Barbie’s fans and members of the press.

They trust her enough to allow her to have a boyfriend. But it is Barbie herself who is afraid that a romantic relationship might distract her from her career and other important matters. She insists screen partner Derrick Monasterio, whose birthday falls a day after hers, is just a friend. and she wants it that way. “Mahirap i-risk ang friendship in exchange for commitment [It’s hard to risk friendship in exchange for commitment],” she says. But she’s enjoying his company. Derrick was there when she marked her birthday and even exchanged birthday gifts. She gave him an armani belt, and he gave her a charm bracelet that Barbie wore at her surprise bash.

Environmental muse Barbie got another pleasant surprise that day: The environmental group Haribon Foundation had chosen her as its official ambassador. The new title sits well with Barbie, who hates all forms of litter. If she has to go from one end of the set to the other during taping to throw trash, she will. “I’ll wait for the taping to end then throw the trash in the garbage can,” she says. “even if I’m seldom home, I make it a point to clean my room myself.” This way, she explains, she won’t have a hard time when she wants to look for something in her room. This do-it-yourself outlook extends to many other things at home and at work. Barbie told the press people that she applies her own makeup, wakes up all by herself in the morning, and prepares her own food at home. She can very well ask others to do these things for her, but Barbie would rather be

independent. She knows her mom and dad and even other people won’t be around all the time to help her. “Hindi ako matututo pag lagi akong nakadepende sa kanila [I won’t learn if I’m always dependent on them],” she explains. and Barbie knows her doting parents agree. “Sabi nila pag natuto akong mag-isa, kahit bago ako mag-18, puede na nila akong i-let go [They told me that they can let go of me even before I turn 18 if I learn how to be on my own],” she says. after four years in showbiz, she has learned how to use her hard-earned money wisely. For instance, by herself, Barbie has invested in a condominium unit and a van.

Sharing her blessings Barbie knows she’s extra blessed, and so she gives back every time her birthday comes along. This year, she cheered up sick children at the Philippine children’s Medical center in quezon city a few days after her birthday. This isn’t a first for her, having done the same thing last year. and since she thoroughly enjoyed seeing the sick kids’ faces light up with happiness, Barbie has vowed to turn the birthday treat into an annual tradition. when Typhoon Maring left many people homeless, Barbie volunteered to take pledges of donation for GMa Kapuso Foundation’s efforts and manned a GMa telethon to help victims of the typhoon.

Looking for new challenges Barbie wants to be the opposite of her onscreen self when it comes to work. “Mahirap namang ma-stereotype na apiapihan [It will be hard for me to be boxed in underdog roles],” she explains. She wants to take on more serious roles, like the feisty kontrabida she is playing for the first time in the remake of Anna Karenina. Her character here is a far cry from the sweet, self-effacing roles she’s been playing. as the troubled Karen, Barbie wears larger accessories, speaks in a more straightforward way, and smiles less often. But she simply loves her offbeat character. It’s a challenge she won’t mind doing over and over. There’s one thing she’ll never do though—go daring. yes, she can go offbeat, but Barbie vows she’ll never show more skin than is necessary. She’ll always strive to stay wholesome and star only in GP (general patronage) TV shows and movies. No wonder her parents trust her completely. They can sleep soundly at night, knowing that despite the showbiz trend for young stars to appear mature and sophisticated, their teen celebrity will never pretend to be someone she is not. DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

FamilyMatters

Youth Talk:

Fashion tips for teen boys to suit different occasions

By aIleeN carreON PHOTOS By JuN PINzON

one are the days of superhero-inspired outfits and matching shirts, shorts, and shoes. Those little-boy clothes Mom used to get for you simply have no room in a young man’s closet. So what should you wear now that you’re a teenager? Here are some fashion tips to help you out.

Consider your body type

“For an age-appropriate look, teen boys should develop a personal style that caters to their own individuality,” advises Teej Nepomuceno, freelance creative

“If you’re lanky, try a semi-slim-fit top with a tapered torso. If you’re a bit stocky, opt for a relaxed-fit top with wider shoulders. If you have a more or less average build, choose a regular-fit top,” continues Nepomuceno. choices for bottoms should also dovetail with your body type, he says. “If you have skinny legs, go for semi-skinny cuts that give the illusion of additional bulk without being baggy. If you have lumberjack legs, pick tailored cuts that visually slim down the heft. If you have more or less

director and fashion stylist for editorials, advertising, production, and celebrities. “It’s more about finding the right style that suits your personality and lifestyle.” your personal style must be something that works for you. “Don’t wear something just because it’s trendy. what looks good on Harry Styles and Justin Bieber may not look great on you,” says Nepomuceno. It is important that you feel comfortable in what you’re wearing. Find clothing that fits into your comfort zone.

average-sized legs, choose relaxed tapered cuts that provide ample leg room.” Find jeans and other pants whose top sits at the base of your natural waistline. Pants that are hiked above the waist will make you look like the nerdy character in a sitcom. also, stay away from the outdated and really unflattering loose-pants look. Sagging pants are not attractive. No one, not even teenage girls, wants to see your undergarments. Plus, it looks sloppy.

Establish your own personal style

If you don’t feel good in it, chances are you won’t look good in it, either.

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DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

Dress appropriately while the basic shirt-and-jeans look is always a good choice for school, it is not suitable for formal occasions, like the baptism of your niece. On the flip side, don’t overdress for casual affairs. “always consider the dress code of the event you’re attending,” says Nepomuceno. If you are bringing a date, he also suggests that you find out ahead of the occasion what she will be wearing so you can dress appropriately. If you are going to wear a suit to a formal affair, find a button-down shirt. The most classic and dependable is a white button-down one. But you may also choose a plain-colored button-down shirt or one with subtle patterns or stripes. Make sure that your tie goes well with the rest of your look. a tie with stripes or fun pattern is fine as long as the design isn’t too loud or silly. The tie must fall over the top of your belt line. wear a simple black belt with your pants, one that isn’t too thick. when tucking in your shirt, be sure to pull it out just a bit so that it blouses slightly over the waistline of your pants. wear shined leather shoes and dress socks to complete the look.

Learn basic matching skills

sneakers or boots, your socks should have enough length to protect your foot and ankles from friction against the shoe’s body that causes blisters.” Never pair sandals with socks— ever. This was a major fashion blunder committed by teenage boys in the past.

Keep accessories low-key when it comes to accessories, Nepomuceno’s rule is to keep it simple. “a belt and a watch should do. It is also

fine to further the look with hats and eyewear.” He, however, warns against wearing specs with no lenses as those are completely ridiculous. Because you want to look good overall, give attention to your skin and hair as well. “Maintain a daily skin-care routine with a good combination of facial wash and toner that suits your skin type,” says Nepomuceno. and no matter what cut or length you prefer, he recommends regular hair trimming to keep your locks always well maintained. looking neat and well put together does not apply only to girls; it’s also a guy thing. remember that the way you look and present yourself speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. after all, it is your personal style.

whether it be formal or casual wear, it is a must to learn how to match clothes. Make sure the colors and patterns of different kinds of clothing complement instead of clash. Don’t mix patterns. Plaids and stripes should never go together. If you are wearing a patterned shirt, always pair it with plain bottoms. also, match your belt to your shoes— brown with brown or black with black. another classic rule is to color-match socks and pants. “Black socks go with black trousers,” says Nepomuceno. “Never wear white socks with black trousers, not unless your school uniform’s dress code says so.” according to Nepomuceno, sock length will depend on the type of bottoms and shoes you’re wearing. “If you’re wearing pants, your socks should go up to your calves. If you’re wearing shorts, your socks should be short enough to cover your foot and should disappear when you have your shoes on. If you’re wearing high-cut DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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Youth Talk:

Kids can lead the adults in a journey of rediscovering the true meaning of the season. By GaBrIel JOSHua M. FlOreSca PHOTOS By JuN PINzON

The he

ome people say that kids are just too young to make a positive change in the world. yet over the years many true stories have come out proving that children and young people do have the power to change lives through small acts of kindness and heroism. This christmas and New year, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s make sure to include Jesus christ in our festivities. after all, he is the reason for the season, and putting him in the center of everything we do will make the holidays more meaningful for everyone. letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s meet some youngsters who have been doing good deeds during christmastime. Perhaps they can inspire you to come up with your own worthy acts of godliness. 1. Sharing their savings with the less fortunate. Since 2011, luc raphael ruiz, 12, and Franco Gabriel ruiz, 10, have been saving some

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of their school allowance and monetary loot received on their birthday and christmas. Then on December 25, they pool together almost P8,000 from their savings to sponsor a child’s fullyear education through world Vision Philippines. Their mom, Janise, says that whatever is left is what the brothers use to buy christmas gifts for their family and friends. “I hope more kids will take the initiative to help underprivileged kids in our country,” she says. 2. Helping wrap Christmas goodies for street kids. ceejay Garabiles, 14,

was still a little girl when her parents started the tradition of handing out small gift packs to the poor children and adults they pass on their way to Mass on christmas Day. Over the years, ceejay and her sister chyn, 11, have been assisting their parents in preparing 50 to 100 such packages for distribution to the needy. Their project has already inspired their grandmother and uncle to give additional funds so they can buy more gift items. 3. Doing without her own Christmas gift. My cousin leigh Isys was barely three years old when Typhoon Sendong hit the Philippines in 2011. while they were watching the news, her parents challenged her to give up her christmas present so they could donate money to the people in Mindanao who had lost their homes. Isys said yes without hesitation, and the family made a donation through The 700 club. In church, when asked by the Sunday school teacher what her mom and dad gave her for christmas, Isys shared her story. It inspired the other kids to also donate part of

their christmas money to charity. at christmas of 2012, these kids once again pooled their funds to help typhoon victims in quezon province. 4. Visiting an orphanage. Since 2011, the lualhati brothers, Jasper, 11, and Jamie, 13, have been joining their parents in visiting an orphanage in San Pablo city, laguna, after church on christmas Day. They bring lunch for about 45 orphans, then give away gifts of toys and toiletries as well as old clothes, shoes, and rice. The siblings themselves serve the food, and their mom described how her kids would

become teary-eyed when seeing how the children treasured the simple gifts that the siblings often took for granted. 5. Going caroling for a good cause. when my mom and her sister were small, they used to go around the

neighborhood with the other kids from their church to sing christmas carols. whatever they earned they gave to fund the charitable projects initiated by their Sunday school group. 6. Honoring Christ at Christmas dinner. In our family, whenever someone celebrates a birthday, each of us says something nice about the celebrator to encourage him or her to keep doing good things. Since christmas Day is Jesus christ’s birthday, we also honor and thank him for all the blessings he showers upon us every day of the year. There are countless ways to make the yuletide more meaningful not only for our families, but especially for others for whom the season is sad and wanting. we just have to be creative in thinking of ways to share the love and the bounty that envelop the season. who knows? you just might show the adults how it’s possible for anyone, young and old alike, to make a difference, not just at christmastime but even in ordinary times!

DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

FamilyMatters

Youth Talk:

What’s it like to be a professional athlete? Jenny Rose Guerrero lets us into her exciting, exacting world of sports. By eXcel V. DyquIaNGcO

he took up Hotel and restaurant Management in uP-Diliman because she loves to cook and bake, but Jenny rose Guerrero’s professional life does not involve puttering with pots and pans in the kitchen. Instead, her daily activities take place outdoors— on the road and in the water, to be exact. That’s because Jenny rose is a swim coach and a professional triathlete, or someone who competes in a triathlon, finding the adrenaline rush she craves when she is swimming, running, and cycling. “Before going into triathlon, I was a national swimmer and the breast stroke was

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DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

my main event,” says Jenny rose. “after I retired from competitive swimming, I fell in love with running and, eventually, cycling classes in the gym.” So when her former coach told her she could be a good triathlete someday, she decided to give it a go. “I became part of the alaska Team TBB [a professional organization for triathlon] late last year.” The last time she joined a triathlon—a long-distance race consisting of swimming, bicycling, and running—was way back in 2006, and she again joined the competition, participating in the National age Group Triathlon, in February this year. “It was, of course, exhausting because this was my first race in a long, long time,” she says. “I managed a first-place finish in my category [females aged 25 to 29] and I consider this as one of my proudest moments. Truly, whenever I finish a race or sessions in training, this is where I feel confident and proud of what I have achieved.” Jenny rose hopes to compete internationally later on and pit her strength and endurance against foreign athletes.

Discipline is key as a swim coach and triathlete, it’s no surprise that Jenny rose has a rigorous training regimen encompassing six days a week. She wakes up around 5 a.m. to do her morning workout, where she either rides her cervelo bike or runs in her trusted shoes. “I usually do it first thing in the morning before my son wakes up,” she says. “So by the time he’s awake, I am already done with the workout. I have breakfast and then off to work at around 11 a.m. I swim early in the afternoon—three times a week—and then coach a swim team late in the afternoon. I get home around 9:30 p.m., and then it’s more training the next day.” The young mom admits that her greatest challenge now is balancing all aspects of her life. “It’s difficult to train for triathlons because of my day job as a swim coach for a swim club,” she says. “also, it is extra hard to push myself during training because I only train alone. My training program is sent online by my coach.” Moreover, she has her family to look after, especially a two-year-old son who

still needs his mother’s constant presence. She says she squeezes in as much quality time with him as she can, including indulging him in playtime before going to bed. “I try to manage my time wisely and take it day by day. This is about doing it slowly and gradually so that you can be good in your craft and still be a good mom,” she says. Her advice to aspiring athletes: “Dedication, hard work, and fulfillment are the keys to success. waking up and training every day is very difficult, much more when you are training for three sports.” She adds: “Of course you have to be fulfilled and happy in everything that you do. love what you’re doing, stick to it, be disciplined, and pray and be thankful for everything.” DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

FamilyMatters

Youth Talk:

Beware The Take protective steps against this dangerous online game predators love to play. By JuNNeTTe aBrera PHOTOS By JuN PINzON

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IlluSTraTION By rIcuS aFaBle IlluSTraTION By rIcuS aFaBle

anti Te’o is the footballer of the university of Notre Dame in the united States who figured in the news early last year after his girlfriend who had supposedly died of leukemia two months earlier was discovered to still be alive. even more shocking, “she” was really a “he,” a man who used the photos of a woman without her knowledge in his communications with the athlete. at the very least, this was embarrassing for Te’o, since he had dedicted his best gameplay to his “girlfriend,” whom he only met online. Manti Te'o was “catfished.” His story is perhaps the most recent sensational case of an online romance scam using catfishing. The term was coined by Nev Schulman, who explains its meaning and origin on a youTube video: “a catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not, using Facebook or other social media to create false identities.” Schulman and his colleagues produced a documentary film in 2010 called Catfish, which shows how he discovered that the supposedly single, 19-year-old girl he met online and fell in love with was, in his own words, actually “a sort of a troubled 40-year-old mom instead.” Ironically, this woman’s husband was the source of the concept of catfishing that Schulman coined. He told Schulman the story of how codfish exporters added catfish

to the water vats to chase the codfish and keep their meat supple and tasty during the long sea transport. Schulman’s Catfish led to an MTV reality-based series where he and his cohosts helped people dating on the Internet to uncover the truth about their online romantic partners. when asked by MTV about the Manti Te’o case, Schulman said, “My reaction is, quite frankly, no different from my reaction on the show. It doesn’t really change anything for me that this victim is a high-profile football player. I think it can and obviously does happen to anyone.”

Dark side of online romance The guy who scammed Te’o admitted to a personal interest in him and made no financial demands. It was for him a “game” that went out of hand. In the process, however, he stole the identity of a high school classmate and deceived many people, including Te’o’s family. catfishing may for some be just a playful jest or a boredom buster, but fraudsters and syndicates often use it as a takeoff point to a more insidious global cybercrime: online dating or romance scam. The u.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) describes on its website the modus operandi of this type of scam: “you’re contacted online by someone who appears interested in you. He or she may have a profile you can read or a picture that is e-mailed to you. For weeks, even months, you may chat back and forth with one another, forming a connection. you may even be sent flowers or other gifts. But ultimately, it’s going to happen— your new-found ‘friend’ is going to ask you for money... So you send money… but rest assured the requests won’t stop

there. There will be more hardships that only you can help alleviate with your financial gifts.” Online dating sites and social media networks like Facebook are a treasure trove of information for scammers looking for new victims. users who have lax privacy settings and who over-share information about themselves tend to be the most vulnerable. The FBI says that these criminals, based on information they gather, build a fake profile that is designed to prove irresistible to their target victim, the better to hook him or her that much easier. In the Philippines, there was a local case involving a Fil-Norwegian commercial model, Janka cederstam, whose identity was stolen by a call center agent. The latter, using a fake name and photos lifted off

the model’s Facebook account, fabricated a Facebook profile to fool an australian man into a romantic relationship. when she became his “girlfriend,” she started asking for money because of her “financial difficulties.” The scam was unraveled when the australian contacted cederstam, and the National Bureau of Investigation helped entrap the call center agent who was about to collect money, via a financial services company, from the australian. Prof. John Peter ruero, vice president of Information Systems Security association Philippine chapter, a nonprofit international organization of security professionals, says that apart from financial gain, scammers are driven by malicious intent, the desire to cause nuisance, and the quest for bragging rights.

Cyber victims galore Indeed, anyone online can become a target of cybercrime. In 2012, DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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Youth Talk:

the annual “Norton cybercrime report,” one of the world’s largest consumer cybercrime studies, revealed that more than 1.5 million adults around the world who are aged 18 to 64 are victimized daily. That’s 18 victims per second! Social media networks and mobile devices are also increasingly becoming platforms for cybercrimes. Norton reported that one out of six social network users got their account hacked by someone pretending to be them. also, one out of 10 users got fooled into clicking a fake link which could be used to steal information or inject viruses into one’s device. If a lot of adults get victimized, what more children and teens? Norton’s “2011 cybercrime report” showed that the more time young people (ages 8 to 17) spend online, the more they get exposed to increasingly negative situations, including hacking, identity theft, getting invitations from strangers to meet offline, and being asked to do something wrong online. Four out of five surveyed kids who broke their Internet house rules suffered these negative online experiences. albert P. dela cruz, a long-time IT

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security professional, says their age, immaturity, and normal propensity to be curious make young people especially vulnerable: “It is an age of exploration and it is the time of our lives when we want to get answers to all of our ‘what Ifs’. It is also a time when we start thinking and feeling affection towards the opposite sex; [combine this] with [societal] and media portrayals of love and romance. It is a very emotional stage and this is what these [unscrupulous] individuals prey on: emotions.” Dela cruz is also the director of the Philippine computer emergency response Team, a nonprofit organization focused on addressing computer-related security and crimes. He offers the following reminders to avoid getting catfished: 1. Do not trust anybody online. Only be friends or communicate with

individuals you can strongly ascertain are who they claim to be. as a strict rule, only have online relationships in which you have actual and explicit relations in real life, meaning, only with those friends or acquaintances you have actually met or know personally. 2. Don’t give out personal information. unless you have verified his or her identity, do not give out birth dates, identity credentials (social security number, driver’s license, passport number), bank account details, and even the names of your family and friends. Turn the tables on those asking for such info: ask them for this info to test if they are truly who they claim to be. 3. Avoid revealing your whereabouts. By using applications like Foursquare, Twitter, Facebook, and maps and traffic applications, you are telling the whole world where you are! This is very useful information for criminals. Stay “off the grid”—disable all location-based services, or at least, activate them only when needed, and show your location only to individuals with whom you have an open and trustworthy relationship. But the best rule is still what your Mom and Dad always told you when you were a small child: Don’t talk to strangers! Social media and mobile phones now make it easier than ever to connect to people beyond our tight circle of family and friends. They let us reach out to likeminded individuals who share our habits, tastes, ideals, and world views. Some may even find real, lasting relationships with strangers on the Internet. However, the risks greatly outweigh the benefits, and your best self-preservation strategy is to always be on guard and vigilant as to who you open the door into your online world.

couples for christ is a private lay organization recognized by the Vatican. It is a united global community that works for the renewal of families which will serve God and build generations of christian leaders. The cFc’s family ministries include couples for christ, Singles for christ,youth for christ, Kids for christ, Handmaids of the lord, and Servants of the lord.

The birth of a new era is impending—and there is deﬁnitely Good News here.

he world today seems to be increasingly inhabited by pleasureseekers—those who believe that the only rule that applies to them is that they please themselves. But christians are banding together to turn this tide of self-absorption, creating their own counterculture of choosing to please God instead. Here, meet three leaders of the couples for christ (cFc) community who are leading the fight for a return to a God-approved lifestyle. Benjie and Menchie Fuentes Who they are: The Fuenteses are staunch Pro-life advocates. Though without children of their own, they are proud “parents” and “grandparents” to many community members, having been members of cFc since 1982. Battle cry: “Family is where children grow up to

cOMPIleD By KaTrINa MarTIN

be good persons. we must use our hands to protect this gift from God.” Jojerry Mercado Who he is: Jojerry’s past life revolved around drugs, crime, and gambling. But he found himself defenseless against the lord’s call and has been actively serving in the community since graduating from an SFc christian life Program in abu Dhabi in 2004. He recently finished training to become a full-time Pastoral worker. Battle cry: “Knowing the lord is the best thing that could’ve happened to me. I fear losing Him, which is why I do the things I do every day—so that I will never stray from Him again.”

Nikki Dionisio Who she is: Nikki once fell into an impure relationship that resulted in a teenage pregnancy and abortion. after making a u-turn, she is now the 100% Free advocacy head of cFc youth in the Pacific region of canada, sharing her story in the hope of witnessing to God’s merciful love to thousands of teens. Battle cry: “Through our struggles, we realize more concretely that everything we need—love, mercy, forgiveness, and healing—can be found in God alone. He gives us the grace to turn our lives around.”

For more information about Couples for Christ and its family ministries, please visit www.couplesforchristglobal.com or http://cfcablaze.com/store/. DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

FamilyMatters

Your little ones will squeal with delight when they set eyes on these yummy holiday treats! By cecIlle eSPeraNza

For kids, the holidays are a wonderful kaleidoscope of candies, chocolates, and colors. why not make them deliriously happy this season by combining their alltime favorites in one unforgettable celebration staple? cookies! check out the festive recipes weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve lined up to help you create an incomparable christmas feast!

1 cup unsalted butter, softened 1 cup white sugar 2 eggs, lightly beaten 1 teaspoon vanilla 3 cups all-purpose flour 2 teaspoons baking powder 1 teaspoon salt Milk, for brushing assorted colored sugar

1. In a bowl, cream butter and sugar. Beat in eggs and vanilla. 2. In a second bowl, combine and mix

well the flour, baking powder, and salt. Stir flour into butter mixture 1 cup at a time. chill dough for 3 to 4 hours. 3. Preheat oven to 350ÂşF. line cookie sheet with parchment paper and set aside. roll out dough and cut into desired shapes with cookie cutters or a knife. Brush with milk and sprinkle with colored sugar. 4. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until golden in color. Transfer cookies to a rack to cool completely. Photo: erin.kkr/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/benreichelt/6496708765

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2 teaspoons vanilla 21/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 /2 teaspoon baking powder

Photo: Scarygami/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/scarygami/4212196698

For decorating the cookies: 1 /2 cup red clear hard candies, crushed 1 /2 cup yellow clear hard candies, crushed 1 /2 cup orange clear hard candies, crushed

Stained-glass Cookies Makes about 4 dozen These cookies look beautiful when hung with ribbon ribbon and used as christmas decorations, shining like the glorious colors of stained-glass windows. For the cookie dough: 3 /4 cup butter, softened 1 cup granulated sugar 1 egg

Baking tips • • • • • • • •

• •

read the recipe carefully before baking. use quality ingredients and prepare them all before you start. Measure ingredients accurately for successful baking. Make cookie dough ahead of time, using food coloring if desired. refrigerate dough for up to three days or freeze for up to three weeks. unless you are baking with nonstick pans and cookie sheets, use parchment paper for stick-free baking and easy cleanup. chill dough for cutout cookies, and soften it up at room temperature for a few minutes before rolling out adjust baking times to achieve the cookie texture you want. a little less time produces chewier cookies; a little more time makes them crispy. cool cookies completely before decorating. Store cookies in an airtight container for up to two days.

Photo: Scarygami/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/scarygami/4212196698

1. In a bowl, beat butter and sugar until light and

fluffy; beat in egg and vanilla. In another bowl, combine flour and baking powder. add half of the flour mixture into butter mixture. Mix well, add the remaining flour, and blend until a soft dough is achieved. 2. Divide dough in half and flatten into discs. cover in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour or until chilled. 3. Place dough on parchment paper and roll out to 1 /4-inch thickness. Preheat oven to 375°F. 4. cut out christmas tree, star, or bell shapes from the dough using appropriate cookie cutters. 5. using a round mini-cutter, punch holes in the middle of these dough shapes. 6. using a skewer or straw, cut a smaller hole at the top of each shape for threading ribbons. Place shaped dough on baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Spoon crushed candies into the middle holes, mounding slightly. 7. Bake cookies for about 10 minutes or until light golden in color. let cool in a pan for 5 minutes. Transfer to a cookie rack and let cool completely.

Gumdrop Cookies Makes about 2 dozen /4 cup butter or shortening 1 cup sugar, divided 1 /2 teaspoon almond extract 13/4 cups all-purpose flour 1 /2 teaspoon baking soda 1 /4 teaspoon salt 1 cup chopped fruit-flavored gummy candies 2 egg whites 3

1. In a bowl, cream butter or

shortening and ¾ cup of the sugar until light and fluffy. Beat

in almond extract. In another bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and salt. Gradually add to creamed mixture and mix well. Stir in gummy candies. 2. In a small bowl, beat egg whites until soft peaks form. Gradually add remaining sugar, beating until peaks turn stiff. Fold into dough. Mix well to combine. 3. Drop by heaping teaspoonful 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheets. Bake at 350°F for 12 to15 minutes or until golden brown. let cool for 1 minute before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely.

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Starting your own online enterprise is as simple as 1-2-3 (but getting it off the ground takes more effort). By STePHaNIe MayO PHOTOS By JuN PINzON

hanks to the rapidly expanding e-commerce activity, business opportunities in cyberspace have never been bigger or more exciting. according to cpcstrategy. com’s article titled “How Many People Shop Online?” published august 9, 2013, more than 80 percent of the online population has used the Internet to make a purchase, and more than 50 percent has shopped online more than once.

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The article says there are many reasons people prefer to shop online: it is time-saving (say 73 percent of online consumers), offers a wider variety of product or service selection (67 percent), and is a convenient way to avoid the crowd (58 percent). For others, shopping online means less spending on gas, less taxes, and more ease in comparing prices. In short, the prospects for online businesses are brighter and more promising than ever. If you’ve been dreaming of quitting your 9-to-5 job to take charge of your destiny and attain financial independence by working from

the comforts of your home, then this could be the solution. “e-commerce sales are growing by more than 19 percent a year and will be worth almost $1.4 trillion by 2015,” according to statistics from the same article. No wonder a lot of people, especially stay-at-home moms, are riding the e-commerce wave in a bid to secure their family’s future. One of them is Dianna camille Magat, 28, of cainta, rizal, whose daughter was her inspiration for starting an online clothing and accessories business, The Bonenica Shop, over a year ago. “Seeing her growing up and knowing that our family’s needs will increase as the years progress inspired me to start this business,” Dianna says. “I need to support the fixed monthly income of my husband and provide for our daughter’s needs.” Princess Ordiales, 34, of Pasig city, runs Plain & Simple, an online trading and services business specializing in corporate gifts, distribution of polo shirts, and events management. She cites the perks of running an online enterprise: “you

Kei San Pablo, 28, of antipolo city, started her own online business The K Squad Online Solutions in May 2013. establishing this administrative and marketing service was not that difficult since she simply utilized whatever skills and experience she already had. “I’ve been in the online outsourcing industry for almost five years now,” San Pablo said, “I was already working Step 1: Discover what you love and as a freelance online professional, so I what you can do already had clients in place. I just had to ask yourself: what do I love doing? what do the necessary steps to register our skills do I have that I can put to use in company, like going to the DTI to secure developing a business? a business permit.” and what is the success rate of The K Squad Online Solutions? “In a span of four months—from May to august—we already tripled our income and became a team of 12 members,” says Kei. Princess, on the other hand, got the idea for her business from her previous job. Dianna camille “I was inspired by my Magat former work which required me to source out supplies for office and can have more time with your family and loved ones, as you will be the one to decide when to turn your computers on and communicate with your market.” So you’re highly interested, but you need to know: Is it hard to start an online business? The good news is that it’s basically a DIy venture! Just follow these three essential steps:

DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

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events needs. I find it very challenging but at the same time exciting and fulfilling.” Plain & Simple has been operating for a year now, with a success rate, according to her, of about 80 percent to 90 percent. Of course you’re going to have a million competitors online selling the same stuff, so what will make your business stand out? according to “How to Start an Online Business” published through wikiHow, “Define your unique product. what is it about your product that differentiates it from what everybody else creates, and why would somebody like yours instead of the competition? let’s say you make jewelry—but so do a few million other people. what makes yours different? Do you focus on finely wrought gold necklaces with pearls, or perhaps your focus is on found objects strung together in new and interesting ways?”

Step 2: Set up a website

“How to Start an Online Business” offers this additional advice: “To sell your products effectively, and manage the process from pricing to reporting, a website that specializes in ecommerce is crucial. Sites such as Shopify and Volusion offer competitive packages, with free templates, custom packages, credit card processing, and more. If you don’t already have a domain name for your company, you will be able to do this here.” The name of your domain is critical, the article adds. “Because most of the ‘good ones’ are already taken, you will probably need to be creative in giving your online presence a catch.”

Dianna says that aside from promoting The Bonenica Shop’s Facebook page, she creates her own online advertising posters. “I do layouts that advertise my page and the products, and send them to my list of friends.” Promoting one’s business via social media is free and easy, but at the heart of it all is building customer relationships. “I see to it that I am very customerfriendly and accommodating,” Dianna says. “There are no big or small orders. at the end of the day, a happy customer, whether he or she buys a lot or just one item, can take your business to greater heights because of their favorable testimonials to their own set of network.” “customer trust is a time-tested way to promote your business,” Princess

Step 3: Engage in marketing and customer relations activities Princess says, “I use Facebook to post my deliveries as well as my clients’ feedback. I also use online ads such as sulit.com.”

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DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

Kei San Pablo

says. “customers want suppliers who are honest enough to tell them whether you can or cannot do what they are asking. you must, however, have a ready alternative solution or recommendation.”

That X factor If you feel that you can easily follow these start-up guidelines, now you have to ask yourself the most important question: Do you have the passion for your venture? “I believe skills can be acquired,” says Kei. “But determination, passion and hard work cannot be bought or taught.” Shameer Shah’s article on BusinessBanter.com, titled “why Persistence is the Key to Having a Successful Business,” sums up the most critical aspect of starting a business: “There has got to be more than money that motivates you. The fact is, if you don’t offer your heart, soul and being persistent in business then you’re likely not making the right business moves for growth and expansion.” Photos Photos provided provided by by the the interviewees. interviewees.

kept safe from food poisoning and foodborne illnesses. 1. when handling leftovers, wash hands thoroughly and use clean utensils to prevent contaminating food with microbes. 2. Refrigerate within two hours. Bacteria grow rapidly at warm temperatures and can reach levels that can cause illness after just a few hours. 3. Set the temperature of your fridge at 40°F or below. use an appliance thermometer to see how cold it is. 4. Place foods to be refrigerated or frozen in small, shallow

fter the happy chaos of the yuletide holidays, we’re left with a postcelebration scene that is sure to bring on a frown: stacks of dishes to wash, a house that needs the help of Hercules to clean, and mounds of leftover food to store away. while dirty plates and clutter are relatively easy to solve, leftovers pose a serious dilemma. Of course, we Filipinos loathe wasting precious food, but we should never ignore the grave health risks of improper storage and consumption of leftovers just to save on food expenses. Here are a dozen safety tips on handling leftover food so our family is

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DECEMBER 2013-fEBRUARY 2014

5. 6. 7.

8. 9.

10.

11. 12.

containers. Food placed in a large, deep container may remain warm for a longer time. Use leftovers within two days and reheat till steaming hot. Don’t reheat more than once. Soups, sauces, and gravies should be reheated to a rolling boil. Never rely on your nose, eyes, or taste buds to judge the safety of food. when in doubt, throw it out! Keep wraps and containers closed tightly to preserve quality and prevent leaking. Leftover food should be moved to a new container, not stored in the container it was cooked or served in. There are three safe ways to defrost frozen leftovers: in the refrigerator, in cold water, or in the microwave. The safest strategy is slow thawing in the fridge. Do not mix leftovers from the serving table with other food that is still on the stove or in the refrigerator. Clean out your refrigerator regularly, getting rid of old leftover containers or questionable foods. cold air needs to circulate to keep foods fresh.

Sources: U.S. Department of Agriculture, Mayo Clinic, University of Georgia Cooperative Extension Service, European Food Information Council, University of Nebraska Lincoln Extension, Government of Nova Scotia

IlluSTraTION By rIcuS aFaBle

12 tips for safely handling leftover holiday food.