Dondi’s Family Album
Many of you have asked about my personal life. . . What made mine and Titanya’s parents put us into Polynesian and Middle Eastern dance lessons? Are our parents dancers? Did I go to college? What other kind of work do I do? When I was a little girl I wanted to be a tortoise. You know, the pretty girls who served drinks on airplanes. I could never remember the word, “stewardess” so to me the most beautiful women on earth were the tortoises. Of course, I wasn’t old enough to be a tortoise, so the next best thing was to be a baby Dorothy Hamil. My mom bought me the haircut, the little skating dress and she even put me into ice skating lessons. I wanted to do flips through
the air but just kept falling on my face. I gave up. I wanted to be a tortoise and Dorothy Hamil, but I knew absolutely that I would end up being an actress. I would be on the big screen and no one could tell me any different. It was my “calling” from a very early age and I was in theatre at 6 years old. I had booked lots of commercials and some film by 20. That was
My first real theatre job. “A Cry of Players” at Palomar College in which I played Shakespeare’s daughter. I’m 6 years old and sitting with my dad (in hat) and the director, Buddy Ashbrook during rehearsal.
Tanya and Mom celebrated Tanya’s 3rd birthday early because Mom knew I would be born on Tanya’s birthday. I was Tanya’s birthday present!
my passion. I had a bigger crush on acting than any boy I ever met. I WAS Scarlet O’Hara, Marilyn Monroe and all three Charlie’s Angels--at least inside my head.
Other ideas of what I wanted to be waxed and waned, but the one career I knew about was acting. The life path I never wanted or really cared to know about was belly dancing. My sister, Titanya, was the harem girl on Halloween-- not me. Belly dancing wasn’t even a career; it was some kind of made up, mystical dance out of the past--perfect for Halloween! Belly dancers weren’t real. To me belly dancers were aggressive women who lived in the desert. Yuck. I hated heat and sandy places with no water (that would make anyone aggressive). To me belly dancers had dark eyes, dark hair and gigantic bellies. I was fair, with green eyes, and trying to stay thin as long as I can remember, so that image didn’t resonate with me at all. As for the music, forget it! I had heard some Middle Eastern
music in a marketplace on a trip to Fiji with my family when I was 8 years old and it hurt my ears. To me it sounded like old, starving women crying. It wasn’t pretty. We were excited to be in Fiji because Titanya and I had been in Polynesian dance lessons since before 5 years old. We loved the fun costumes and the beauty of the island music. We started Polynesian dance lessons like a lot of children start any type of lesson. In this case, we were living in Del Mar, California and Shelby Williams brought her poi balls to “show and tell” in my kindergarten class. I told mom about it and she suggested that I start lessons. Mom and
dad both encouraged my sister and I to stick with the lessons and be a part of all the “little girl” shows. How we yearned to be a part of the “big girl” shows. We did Dondi and Tanya’s Mutual Birthday hundreds September 30th ~ Las Vegas other with “neck of “ami’s” hoping to be big slides.” It was girls. Well, all of those “ami’s” perfect, especially since there were paid off. Of course, I didn’t know they few Polynesian teachers in Oregon were paying off. I secretly wanted to be a to continue our “hula” studies with. ballerina. I loved tutu’s! Mom and Dad I didn’t take belly dancing seriously encouraged ballet too, but my plump hips for another 10 years. It was just and budding figure discouraged my dreams a fun thing I took as a hobby, and of flying through the air like a it never took the place of summer lithe swan. I didn’t start belly theatre or acting classes. dancing lessons when I was 12 because I wanted to. I started Acting is where I really focused, them because our house was until college. In college there was falling apart! My mom, sister something that took the place of and I moved to Oregon and bought a 100-year-old church. To us it made the perfect home . . . but it needed some major work.
My Dad just presented me with the trophy for Best Score in the Nation for “Expository Speaking” in front of 400 fellow competitors. ~ National Championships, Minnesota.
We didn’t have any money for repairs so mom would get things fixed on trade. Mom was a masseuse and healer. When the “pipe fixer guy” told Mom that his wife was a professional belly dancer, she gave both of them massages in trade for belly dance lessons for me, Titanya and mom. We had lessons in our sanctuary after school and had a lot of fun trying to outdo each
acting AND dance. Speech and Debate! With the urgings (force) of our Dad, Titanya and I went to college (begrudgingly) and joined the Speech and Debate team. I dreamed of running around Europe or hoping the first bus to Hollywood but instead, went to Palomar College in San Marcos, California. There our father was the head coach of the Speech and Debate team and the chairperson of the Speech, Theatre, Dance, and ASL Department -- so whatever he said, went. I tried to explain to him that I barely graduated from high school and that I would probably flunk college. It didn’t matter. I think my Dad was in denial. Ray Dahlin’s daughters were supposed to love school and have no problem
getting good grades! So, barely hanging on to a high school diploma, Dad enrolled my sister and I in over 28 units apiece, and over 5 events on the nationally acclaimed speech team. A member of the Speech • PERSUASIVE: “Dangerous Trucks in the U.S. Trucking Industry” and “Dangerous Toys aimed at Children” • COMMUNICATIONS ANALYSIS: “The Rhetoric of War Songs” • POETRY: “The Congo” By Vachel Lindsey, “The Ballad of Judas Iscariot” (various poets)
Dondi ~ Dad ~ Tanya
team?? I had never even raised my hand in class! Dad believed that Tanya and I could be Speech & Debate champions. I didn’t want to disappoint him. So, along with Tanya, I worked hard for two years, going to tournaments almost every weekend, perfecting my voice and articulation, and researching, memorizing and revising speeches over and over and over. These were absolutely some of the best times of my life. I was part of a team with my Dad and sister! The second year of college I was invited to join the Deans list and also received an “Outstanding Speaker in the Nation” award amongst U.S. colleges, and was awarded MVP by my peers at Palomar College for the second year in a row. It was a very pride-filled and special time. The following are some of my speeches and events that were my life for two years: • EXPOSITORY: “Kabuki Theatre of Japan” and “Artificial Skin for Burn Victims”
• PROSE: “Sophie’s Choice” By William Styron. “Et Cum Spiritu Tuo” By Karen Marie Krista Minns • DUET ACTING: “Yentl” Adapted from the movie. “A Moon for the Misbegotten” By Eugene O’Neil • READERS THEATRE: “All in the Golden Afternoon,” (The true story of Alice in Wonderland.) “A Spy in the House of Love, “ The diaries and stories of Anais Nin” In two years, at over 30 tournaments in six different states, I worked my buns off with a team of wonderful people, who also worked their buns off, to take 2nd in the Nation as a collegiate speech and debate team. Personally I won over 150 trophies. At the two National Championship Tournaments (the “Olympics” of speech and debate) I garnered the following wins:
• “Artificial Skin” ~ GOLD • “All in the Golden Afternoon” ~ GOLD and “The Huffer-Goldman Award” (best Readers Theatre in the nation voted on by our fellow competitors) • “A Spy in the House of Love” ~ GOLD • “Sophie’s Choice” ~ SILVER • “Kabuki Theatre” ~ SILVER • “Dangerous Trucks” ~ BRONZE • “Runner-Up ~ Outstanding Speaker in the Nation.” It was a happy, confidence building time. Being a part of a team was endearing, valuable and amazingly supportive. I left Palomar on an extreme high and soon after moved to Hollywood to pursue my dreams of acting. There I plummeted to extreme lows and found myself despairingly alone in a very scary world. The memories from my years in Hollywood are for another place and time - not a web site. Perhaps someday a book. Mom and Dad always instilled their belief in my sister and me and that is what has always given me the confidence to move forward with courage, even when I’m scared. And yes, our Mom and Dad are amazing dancers and speakers! Dad as our ballroom dance partner
has spoiled both Tanya and me. It’s nearly impossible to find anyone as good. How did belly dancing become my life? At twenty years old I was living in Hollywood, going on auditions and scraping by with waitress jobs and borrowed rent from my Dad and I dancing together during one of my shows. Dad. What could I do that would bring in money and be fun and teacher and performer while I keep flexible? Something had already been with a home in San Diego. me for half my life. . . belly dancing. Belly dancing at ritzy Hollywood parties was fun I’ve worked jobs from custodian and did bring in some cash. to model to speech consultant. I danced across Florida, where I had moved to in my early twenties for the exploding commercial market. But by 1995 I wanted to be closer to family on the West Coast of the U.S., so I moved to San Diego to be near my father. Belly dance took off! In a city with the 2nd largest Chaldean population in the U.S. and a growing Arabic and Persian community, belly dancing became a career. I’ve studied hard to learn not only about the dance but also about the music, people, culture and religions. And the music no longer hurts my ears! In fact, I’m in love with it--can’t live without it--and belly dance is now my main source of income. I travel all over the world as a
Currently, when I’m not dancing, I
When spare time pops up, you can bet that I’m spending it with my Dad, my sister , or my Mom and her husband David, in various parts of the world. Nothing is more important to me than my family. They are phenomenal. I sacrificed precious and happy times with them when I lived in Hollywood-and for what? Empty promises of arrogant casting directors and inflated dreams that never will come true. My past dreams won’t come true because the Hollywood Dondi & Dad dance during her show at Troy’s Greek Cuisine in San Diego I’ve dreamt about doesn’t exist. I’m not willing to sell work as a tour guide in San Diego my soul to the devil for the and Baja, and occasionally audition one that does. for film, television, and voice-overs. My passion is traveling, which I I never want am blessed to do often through to sacrifice “on location” acting jobs and dance my family and contracts in various parts of the friends again world. for demeaning cattle calls and a hellish existence that breeds insecurity. I will never do that again. I have too good of a life! In sha’allah. ~ Dondi
Me (left) and Tanya (right) with our Mom in Northern California
Our family today:Â Donna, Tiernan, David, Titanya, Jeff, Roger, Dondi Esalen, 2010
The End