Keeping up With Sophia Sparkle Youth Group and Doris Anetha Shelto McLennon -- The Effect on Parents Showing Favoritism to a Child/Children

Keeping up with Sophia Sparkles Youth Group and Doris Anetho Shelto McLennon. The Effect on Parents Showing Favoritism to Child/Children

Being the Founder of Sophia Sparkle Youth Group and Mothers Action on Social Issues, I have dealt with parents and their offspring for over two decades. There is so much that I have learned and observed; I choose to write about Favoritism. I often hear children joking about being their Mom’s or Dad’s favorite, about who will receive the better gifts on birthday or graduation, more hugs, more attention, etc.

I want Parents to understand that playing favorite to a child is no joking matter. I personally did a survey a while ago on Parents, and from my findings, over fifty percent admitted to having a favorite child. Many Parents are aware that they are supposed to love their children equally, but no matter how hard they try, there are indeed parents who do express it out unconsciously that they favor one over the other.

We must be incredibly careful because the child will know it. Ask a child who is Mom’s or Dad’s favorite and at the snap of a finger they will call a name of their sibling or siblings. I am also aware that there are times when Parents compare a Child to another and that their intentions are good. They are hoping that the contrast will motivate the child in question. Never set your child up to compete one with the other.

Parents showing favoritism will lead to your child adopting a sense of rejection from you, and those feelings can follow them into their adulthood. Feelings of depression, rejection, anxiety or even traumatic reaction, self- esteem issues can follow your child/children into their adulthood.

We are also aware that Parents will indeed feel closer to a child with illnesses or a special need and that is understandable; the entire family can relate. STOP comparing them! Your child will translate this action to a belief that you really do love and prefer their sister/brother more. They will feel down and will believe that they cannot live up to the expectations of Mom and Dad.

Each child is unique and different. Do not treat them differently than their siblings, give them the love and care perhaps a little differently, but equally. This can have a vital effect on your child, it develops jealousy and that can be bad and have serious consequences. There is nothing worse than the feeling of your Parents loving your siblings more. It can also lead to a child running away from home.

Even if you love them equally, everything is based on your action. I refuse to close this article unless I mention this: you can raise your child well without physically abusing them. Avoid scolding your child in public. If he or she did something wrong, even if it was severe enough to warrant your child must be scolded or punished, do not do it in public. It seriously destroys them, and they will not ever forget it! You mean a lot to your children. They love you, so bear in mind that it hurts them and has a great effect on them to even hear you say certain things to them in anger. Words or phrases like ‘foolish child’, ‘useless’, ‘I can’t stand you’, ‘you’re just like your father’ or something along those lines. Also, phrases like ‘good for nothing’, ‘move from my presence’, ‘I don’t want to see you’, ‘go to your room and stay there’, ‘you’re not getting a meal in here today’ and the list goes on. These are very damaging to your children.

One quick word of advice: take time out to spend with your children. Your time and attention are significant! Watch a family movie together, worship together, teach them to love GOD the CREATOR and putting GOD first in everything they do.

Take time out with your children, it matters a lot. Psalms 127:3 declares “Children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is HIS reward. (5) Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them”. Proverbs 22:6 tells us to “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it”. Amen.