Chris Stout's Life List - Chicago Tribune 2004 by Dr. Chris Stout

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The life list

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By CHICAGO TRIBUNE PUBLISHED: January 4, 2004 at 1:00 a.m. | UPDATED: August 19, 2021 at 3:11 p.m.

Only four days into 2004 and your New Year’s resolutions are already out by the curb with the tree. Forget resolutions. Think list. “The question–and it’s one I don’t have an answer for–is,

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why don’t people keep their New Year’s resolutions?” said Chris Stout. “I speculate that people aren’t that committed. Or perhaps they can’t do it without help. “People say that whatever is important will get done. That’s basically true, but the things that fall along the wayside are important. But they haven’t been programmed into your life.” That’s what a life list can do. And when you’re talking life lists, Stout is the man.

A clinical psychologist, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Illinois College of Medicine and chief of psychological services for the state of Illinois, Stout has more or less built his life around a list he started when he was a teenager, a list that outlined things he wanted to see and do in his life. With some tweaking and massaging during the last 30 years, it has worked for him. He’s not sure it would work for everyone, but a lot of folks–maybe even you–certainly could benefit. “No, lists are not for everyone. No one should have a list if it would not be helpful for who they are,” he said over lunch one day recently. “But for those for whom such a list or life blueprint would be helpful, it can lead to constructing a very full life with few ‘I wish-I-wuddas.’ Many can do fine without, but for me I wouldn’t want to leave everything to chance or fiat.” And not only can one of these lists be a plan for a person’s life, but it also can help someone overcome difficult times, according to Pam Brill, a psychologist, author and head of In The Zone, a consulting firm (www.inthezoneinc.com) that works with people and organizations and to help them perform to capacity and reach their goals. “I’ve worked with people in the corporate world who have been downsized and who needed a vision,” Brill said from her New Hampshire home. “I’ve worked with clients who were facing genuine extreme challenges–I don’t mean hanging from rocks, but who were facing life-threatening illness, life-altering trauma that had just blindsided them. And by having a life list, or what I call a life vision, it injected some meaning into what they were doing. It gave them something to look forward to in dark times.” Stout, 44, and a resident of northwest suburban Kildeer, got the idea for his list more than 30 years ago when he read a Life magazine article about adventurer John Goddard. When he was a teen, Goddard drew up a list of 127 things he wanted to accomplish in life. It included goals such as read the Bible cover to cover, run a 5-minute mile and ride an elephant, camel, ostrich and bronco. To the ends of the Earth A large number of the goals were more exotic, such as studying primitive cultures, climbing mountains and visiting spots at the far ends of the Earth. Just the sort of things that captivate a young kid. Inspired by Goddard’s list, Stout constructed his own, even though many of the items on his list seemed out of reach, especially if you knew the teenage Chris Stout. “When I was a little boy, I was kind of obese. And I had an orthopedic problem. I wore these big clodhopper shoes–I didn’t have my first tennis shoes till I was 12. We lived in a very urban area of Dallas, so I couldn’t have a bike. And I was an only child. So I had no tennis shoes, no bike, no brothers or sisters. And I became pretty bookish.” So what did the out-of-shape, clunkily shod, homebound kid put on his list? Go to Europe. Be on TV. See the Indy 500. (All subsequently achieved.) The first item he crossed off, he thinks, was to run a mile without stopping. And so it has gone for the last 30 or so years, as his list has included nearly 1,000 items, from visiting Versailles to running a marathon to smoking a Cuban cigar. It was the pursuit of his goals that helped shape Stout’s life. He wanted to participate in philanthropic activities; he has worked with the Flying Doctors of America in Peru and Vietnam. He wanted to stay at or below his ideal weight of 175; he runs every morning–he did more than 800 miles last year alone and has completed a marathon, both of which were on the list. He wanted to see some of the world’s great sights; he combines speaking engagements with trips to nearby landmarks on his things-to-see list. A life of adventure Similarly, Goddard’s list and his life are intertwined. As he worked his way through his original list of 127 things, Goddard became a world-famous adventurer (he led the first expedition to explore the entire length of the Nile River), anthropologist (he lived with headhunters in Borneo) and author (“The Survivor: 24 Spine-Chilling Adventures on the Edge of Death,” Health Communications). Through the years, Goddard, like Stout, has added new goals, building his list to 600 items. He has checked off 515–and he’s still counting. “My wife and I were in Alaska in October, and I always wanted to land on glaciers in a helicopter and get out and explore,” Goddard said last month from his home near Los Angeles. “And we did that on the Juneau Ice Fields; we landed on several glaciers and got out and took pictures.” Although Goddard has some 85 items he’s still chasing, Stout usually has 75 to 100 items on his list. It’s always in a state of flux, he explained. For example, when he first put it together, jet-skiing and para-sailing were unheard of. He added them to his list–and accomplished both. If he sees something in a magazine that catches his interest, he may be inspired to add it. Brill said that lengthy lists aren’t necessarily the way to go. Hers is short.

“I do have a list that’s written down. It contains very generic, big-picture ideas, which I believe a life plan can be,” she said. “A finalized plan doesn’t have to be a bulleted list you plaster all over your walls with a time line.” Her list, she said, included things such as building a strong heart, because heart illness ran in her father’s family, and writing a book (her book, “Winner’s Way: A Proven Method for Achieving Your Personal Best in Any Situation,” is being published by McGraw-Hill in April). Her success, along with Stout’s and Goddard’s, may inspire you to assemble a life list. There are definite ways to approach it. First, don’t worry about being too old to start. “Americans obsess about age and it has no relevance to anything,” Goddard said. “I asked a Kikuyu chief in Kenya one time, `How old are you?’ He had some gray around the temples and all. He looked at me and he said, `Why?’ And I thought, and I said, `You know, I don’t know why.’ He said, Ì have four happy wives. The next village is 20 miles away, and I could beat you there.’ From then on, I just don’t discuss age. Age is important in terms of wine and cheeses. And that’s it.” OK, toss age out the door along with the Christmas tree and those stupid resolutions. The next step: Grab a pencil. Write it down “I tell people that if they’re sincere about really wanting to do things above and beyond the ordinary, the first thing they have to do is crystallize the goal, write it down,” Goddard said. Stout suggests that you should begin by getting comfortable. Pour a cup of coffee, plop in a comfy chair, relax. And think about your interests and what you’d like to achieve in your life. “It doesn’t have to be extensive,” he said of a person’s list. “You could do it on a Post-it Note (this sentence as published has been corrected in this text). It could be one item. `Before I die, I want to . . .’ or `By next year, I want to . . .’ But it has to be realistic. Ì want to fly to the moon.’ That may not be realistic. `Get my pilot’s license.’ That’s more realistic.” Being realistic also means factoring finance–can you afford some of these things?–and your family into your plans. Early in their marriage, Stout and his wife, Karen Beckstrand, traveled a lot, the better to see the sights that were on his list. Now that they have children–8-year-old Grayson and 5-year-old Annika–there’s less travel, but the family is still involved in Stout’s accomplishments. Grayson, for example, will participate along with his father in the annual Hustle Up the Hancock next month. Dad will do the full run to the top of the John Hancock Center; son will do the half-version. Stout also said that his wife–who doesn’t keep a list–has encouraged his pursuit of his goals. To a point. “She never wanted me to skydive,” he said. “But she says, Ìf you ever do it, don’t tell me.’ . . . On my 30th birthday she got me a ride in a hot-air balloon, which was on the list, and which is close” to skydiving. Once you target what you want to do, and you’ve kept things realistic, then comes setting priorities. “You can’t do everything at once. It’s just not possible,” Stout said. “Some things you can start immediately. You want to read the classics. So do it.” Gill’s goals Chicago Bulls guard Kendall Gill keeps his life list in a briefcase he carries with him almost all the time. The Matteson native attended Rich Central High School and helped lead the University of Illinois to the Final Four in 1989. His 14th NBA season is his first with his hometown team. He shared 16 of his life goals with us (accomplishments are in red): 1. Earn college degree. 2. Play 15 years in the NBA. 3. Visit Africa, Japan, Europe, Brazil and every island in the Caribbean. 4. Travel cross-country on a tour bus. 5 Learn how to salsa. 6. Learn how to speak fluent Spanish. 7. Own a condominium in Soho, New York City. 8. Be able to do a split.

9. Master Toltec wisdom. 10. Own a condominium in North Miami Beach. 11. Learn how to ski. 12. Go on a safari. 13. Develop my real estate company. 14. Attend every major U.S. event–sports, entertainment, politics–once. 15. Live past 100 years. Marry a beautiful, talented, smart, physically fit woman (Halle Berry will do). What others aim for Prominent Chicagoans shared parts of their life lists with Q: Joe Meno A novelist (“Tender as Hellfire,” “How the Hula Girl Sings” and, later this year, “Hairstyles of the Damned”), teacher (Columbia College Chicago) and musician, Meno was the Nelson Algren Award winner in 2003 for his short story “Midway.” I’d like to get one short story published in The New Yorker. I don’t really even read The New Yorker, but it’s kind of a serious professional accomplishment as a fiction writer to have, so that would be cool. I’d like to get in at least one demolition derby sometime in my life. I think I’ve got it in me to win. I want to publish a novel, meant for kids and adults, and donate all the cash to arts funding in public schools. As a kid in school, art was the only thing that saved me. But no corporate publisher in America is ever going to donate 100 percent of profits from a book, so if anyone can help me make this happen, please let me know. Alita Guillen Guillen is WBBM-Ch. 2’s weekend morning co-anchor and also serves as a general-assignment reporter for the station’s 4:30, 5 and 10 p.m. newscasts during the week. Take my family on a safari. Open a tapas bar. Travel, travel, travel. Rev. Andre Allen Allen has been the pastor of Second Baptist Church in Wheaton for 18 years. Take some ministry classes and read a least four books that will give me some insight to be a more effective preacher and leader. Maintain regular family and personal time and take a few days off every two or three months for family and self-enjoyment and total relaxation. Studied ballet, still looking to fire walk Here’s a selection of items from Chris Stout’s life list–“the ultimate to-do list,” he calls it. Items accomplished – Visit the Taj Mahal – Dive in a submarine – Ride a camel – Visit a nude beach

– Study ballet – Eat fire – Sea kayak – Do 200 sit-ups – Scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef – Summit Mt. Kilimanjaro – Fly a Navy fighter plane trainer – Fly in a hot-air balloon – Have a public piano recital Items still being pursued – Vintage auto race – Reach the “Seven Summits,” the highest point on each continent (three down, four to go) – Fly in a blimp – Learn to juggle – Learn to speak Spanish – Visit all 50 states (nine to go) – Do editorial cartooning – Write a novel – Fire walk – Sky dive – Explore the Amazon – Bungee jump

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