The Face by Elliot Barr-Macallan

Editors

Letter The Face was a magazine that we all knew and loved. When it ﬁrst came out it was the orignial, raw and deﬁed all other magazines. Then when it folded in 2004, it folded for a reason it turned into a gloosy, highly commercial and generic magazine. Elliott and I set out on a new conquest to re-invent and re-create the energy and rawness it had back in the day. We added the punk outlook, the punk style and punk energy. We’ve loved making this issue and had a lot of fun with contributors, photographers with them putting their own personal touch of what the issue should have always carried on to be. This for us this is a personal and great achievement. We used our own photos, our own ideas and our own articles to really create our own take on what we think it should have alls been. We hope you enjoy and feel the energy and fun we had with this issue.

Editors: Jessica du Preez Elliott Barr-macallan Contributors: Tom Sherriff Chris Jones Photographer: Georgie Reed

CONTENTS 5-12 Alex osborne - Fashion student from

ravensbourne studying fashion, gives us her take on the punk era and a little insight into her life.

15-20 Spring OďŹ&#x20AC;ensive - up and coming band, great interview discussing their new album.

23-26 Top 22 Punk Albums 29-30 10 Most Fucked up Films 33-36 Rob Mason - Illustration is his thing awesome work, awesome guy, check it out!

38-41 Tom SheriďŹ&#x20AC; rant about being a student in manchester

42-43 Chris Jones - gives us his take on politics!

lex Osbourne is an inspiring fashion student studying at Ravensbourne college of Design and Communication. Osbourne loves the punk era, loves the attitude and we love her.

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Do you like to wear clothes that reflect your designs/ style of designs? ALEX: Um ok, So, I wear a variety of clothes, I quite like vintage, its quite nice to mix that with clothes that you buy from topshop and stuff like that. What did you say.. do they reflect… Do they reflect your designs? ALEX: No not really, I don’t really design, I don’t know my designs are more conceptual, I get engrossed on an idea, more of the form and shape or silhouette, I don’t really design stuff for myself.

That kind of leads on to my next question, do you wear any of your own designs? ALEX:Urm, Uh well I have made stuff that I have worn in the past but not so much recently, but no would be the straight answer to that. What is your favourite style/ era/ does it change often? ALEX:Oh yeah, that’s tricky. Urm, orghhh,

Ok I really like the 20’s, the roaring 20’s, I like the punk era, I quite like 90’s rave, that’s quite funny. Urm, yeah that’s it but it does change quite regularly.

Who is your favourite designer? ALEX: That is difficult, oh shit, Oh I dunno, its kinda of between quite a few I’m really into assan sheheryar, he’s quite a conceptual designer and the more sort of catwalkie ones, I like Alexander wang and…oh god I can’t think of any names shit… Urm comme de garcon I’m really into at the moment and I like what allaya does.

Do they influence your designs at all? ALEX: Yeah I think it’s quite good to look at designers and what they are doing now and how they approach a collection and things like that that’s quite inspiring, especially like the process and little things like how they finish they finish the collection and how it works all the way through, that’s quite

inspiring.

Who would you say is your favourite artist at the moment? ALEX: Artist? Uh at the moment I’m pretty crazy about, urr what’s he called, Anish Kappor? The sculptor whos on at the VandA, he’s great, I really like his stuff it’s quite inspirational.

Who is your favourite musician/band/ album? ALEX: Hmm ok at the moment, I’ve got a little crazy obsession with the XX, you have to listen to them on youtube XX, yeah fucking amazing… What kind of music is that? ALEX:It’s a four piece band, and they have guitars and drums, it’s quite moody sort of acoustic, urh I don’t know how you’d explain it, it’s abit electro-e sort of, I duno I never know the term for that kind of shit. [Laughs] What does the word punk mean to you? ALEX: Urm, leather,

studs and shaven bits and having abit of a grim face, yeah that sort of thing. Oh god, you’re going to have to re-write this because I’m really crap at this [laughs] Favourite colour/ colours? ALEX:Ok, well black at the moment but I’m a big fan of blue, like have you seen the roger hiverne exhibition, that blue is my favourite colour.

How do you develop your ideas? Start with a couple of central themes nd basically building up different aspects different research, different layers of research so you might look at a sillohuette, like you might look at details of something, like for example like the theme for my project was body builders and tacky stuff that they wear, so I went into the muscles and ligaments and brought back the tacky side back into it for detail and silohette shape but I got silohette from the muscles but got the detail from

looking at what they wear like and tacky bikinis and shit like that. So it’s like different aspects of different areas for different parts of a project.

What do you think about youth culture today and what direction do you think it’s going? ALEX:Urm ok well I think, oh gosh that’s a tricky one, I think there isn’t actually there isn’t something that the youth culture today to focus on because theres been all these big eras of like big things happening, like punk and like when the 60s happened and all that kind of thing and I don’t think we’ve really had that yet like with our era, I mean our generation sorry, so I think something big is going to happen but I don’t necessarily know where that’s going and like maybe with fashion it will be a complete like sort of… backlash, like because theres so much freedom now likes its not like we’re a repressed generation and we

were repressed by our elders or what have you, I mean due to this depression at the moment, depression? I mean recession [laughs] I think there will be a massive backlash of like cheap fashion and people being more creative and people looking back at what they have got in their wardrobe and altering it and shit. What magazines do you like/read? ALEX: Ok I like ID dazed and confused, what other ones, Vogue, not a fan of. Tank. Yeah I’m sure theres many others.

Describe most embarrassing/drunk moment? ALEX:That has got to be, oh shit, theres been quite a few, I did throw up on myself in a taxi once, like spinach all in my hair and I found it in my hair in the next day at work without realising, spinach in my hair, yeah that’s probably the most embarrassing one but yeah I’ve probably got more but that’s the one I can remember,

unfortunately.

in my hair, yeah that’s probably the most embarrassing one but yeah I’ve probably got more but that’s the one I can remember, unfortunately. Where is your favourite place to shop and why? ALEX: It’s probably at the moment, bricklane because you can get

all your second hand/ vintage stuff, well that’s my favourite place in London but back home in Devon theres a little vintage place called revival it’s abit of a treasure trove you can get all sorts of stuff like old wedding dress, yeah it’s really cool. Photography by: Georgie Reed

ALEX

OSBORNE

Ciriculam vitae - fashion is my thing - this is what i do - if you don’t like it - Then fuck you 12.

n a cold winterÕ s evening in a flat in Abingdon the band Ô Spring OffensiveÕ sat and answered questions about their past, present and future. With their highly anticipated new upcoming album Ô Pull Us ApartÕ the band is in high spirits and excited about their forthcoming release. This is a band which is consistently getting better not with every step but with every bracing stride. The first time i saw them was in a town hall in Bradford on Avon, surrounded by about 12 people (mainly underage drunk teenagers, of which i was one) making an extremely weak attempt to create some sort of energy through the art of moshing, but failing to do so very badly. IÕ ll be honest they have come a long, long way since then, my knuckles are whitening, my neck is stiffening and i can

feel the cold sweat dripping down my back and as i grip the arms of my chair beside my stereo it can mean only one thing, I am listening for the first time to the writhing, slithering opening notes of the first track of the new album, hereÕ s how they got there............ ELLIOT: When did the band start and how did it start? MATT: WeÕ ve been together for about 6 years. It started at school but the lineup has changed radically, weÕ ve been through about 4 different bassists. We lose a lot of bassists, well weÕ ve lost two out of four bassists. They go and study Ancient History at Exeter. Well, you know, it must be a great course, very attractive. LUCAS: ThatÕ s something we do to people; we drive them to the sea. M: WeÕ ve only really been at it properly for

about a year now, since Ô A Let DownÕ . We were really, really bad before, and are very, very grateful that weÕ ve had so long to improve. THEO: Gestate L: And not having to deal with anyone watching us as well, which is quite important. You can make all your mistakes in private so you know you havenÕ t made a tit of yourself. E: What are the main influences for the band, what inspires you? L: We all started listening to The Cooper Temple ClauseÕ s Kick Up The Fire and Let the Flames Break Loose and Hope Of The StatesÕ The Lost Riots quite a lot and that was the music that first got us into wanting to make it ourselves really. M: I think everyone having different influences is so important because when we come to a writ-

ing session or rehearsals, weÕ ve each been listening to different records so we try to crossover a lot of what everyoneÕ s listening to. T: There needs to be some overlap otherwise you just get mismatched genres being jumbled up together and it doesnÕ t really work very well so you need to be fairly open minded. E: Who are your favourite unsigned bands? L: ThatÕ s quite a difficult question; itÕ s very difficult to actually get to know unsigned bands beyond your immediate scene because they donÕ t obviously get much exposure in the same way as a signed band. M: ItÕ s also very difficult to tell which bands are unsigned. PELHAM: And it doesnÕ t mean nearly as much now as it did even like 5 years ago be-

cause so many bands are producing material without getting signed. L: But in terms of bands who are definitely not signed to any labels, we are all into obviously Stornoway, but also Fervours and Ute. M: Ô UteÕ are a 3 piece Oxford band and yeah have very cool sets and are fantastic live. ColchesterÕ s Fervours, sound wise, are almost the other end of the spectrum, with a much thicker and fiddlier sound. E: WhatÕ s the idea and concept behind the new

album? M: The new album? P: Yeah the new album as in Pull Us Apart, the album weÕ re about to release in March. M: I think itÕ s hard to apply one overall concept behind the album. We really wanted it to be a concept album, pretty much orientated around the opening track Ô I Found Myself SmilingÕ . All the songs sort of stemmed from that really and that frame of mind. There are overall themes but it would be quite reductive to tell you what they are. L: Yeah itÕ s kind of about being obsessed about things, which goes hand in hand with being in a band. This band, at least. E: Who did the album artwork? Did you know what you wanted it to look like or did you

give the artist freedom to explore ideas? M: I pissed a lot of people off actually because I told them all I wanted them to do the album artwork and then I found Joseph Carpenter. They were all awesome, but his style really appealed to us. We really like hand drawn things and think that goes really well with our sound. Going back to the last question, one of the reoccurring images is rats and what rats symbolise to us. So yeah we gave him rats and you can see the final product. E: How long did it take to record the album? L: In a way we started writing it in May last year when we wrote Ô The Cable RoutineÕ which actually ended up going on the EP as well. W e start-

ed off wanting to make a full album and we announced it on an interview with BBC 6 Music but then we realised we couldnÕ t afford to do that, so we had to scale down our ideas a little bit. So weÕ ve ended up releasing a mini album instead. P: And yeah it took about four months to write and about two weeks to record it in early December at Courtyard studios, which is lovely. E: Where will you be able to get a copy of the new album? JOE: You can get mail order copies from the store on our Myspace page, as well as iTunes, Spotify, Amazon etc. E: Do you think this is the strongest material youÕ ve done

so far? M: YouÕ ve always got to have new ideas and songs coming out of the recording studio but you have to believe that your last material is your strongest. Which we feel it is. E: Is recording something you like doing or do you prefer getting it done and performing it to an audience? L: I hate recording. P: I love recording T: The thing thatÕ s quite enjoyable about recording is that youÕ re in quite a safe cocoon and it doesnÕ t really matter if youÕ re not playing very well. It doesnÕ t really

matter to you during that period whether the music is good or not, itÕ s not that important. J: ItÕ s not that itÕ s not important, itÕ s just you canÕ t think about it. T: Yeah, it kind of ceases to be an issue to you. You can just leave all that behind and then suddenly the worst time is just coming out of the studio when you realise you canÕ t actually play because there isnÕ t someone cutting your parts together and the music might not be as good as you thought it was. M: I think that the main worry is that you get so engrossed, to the point where you can barely function in a con-

versation outside the studio, and you canÕ t then entertain the thought of Ò is this any good?Ó because if you do you start to make decisions in the studio. We tend to try and not make any decisions regarding the material once in the studio. ThatÕ s why we spend so much time writing. L: ItÕ s a very relaxed atmosphere in the studio, but itÕ s the recording process itself that I donÕ t enjoy and I donÕ t really like recording my own parts. Playing live is a completely different game though and that is generally speaking a joy. E: How would you describe your fans? P: Would you describe our fans? M: I donÕ t think we have any. L: Yeah a few close friends I guess; how would you describe our friends? M: ItÕ s really hard to tell if anyone really listens to us, I just try and block it out of my mind. E: WhatÕ s the idea behind the beaten up look at the moment?

M: We had a horrible patch when we started writing the album and we did a terrible terrible gig; probably the closest we have come to splitting up. I think it stems from one of our biggest problems and assets, which is the fact that weÕ re so self critical and we donÕ t really let anything go. I think beating ourselves up is something which we do and probably everyone does as well. I think it became a bit of a feature of our music and a feature of us as individuals. ThatÕ s my take on it. The new video takes it even further. L: ItÕ s sort of an antirockstar look in a way, you know the rockstar posing and pouting on top of a mountain, half naked oiled body with a guitar up his etc.. Showing yourself as quite a weak character, someone whoÕ s actually lost the fight is, you know, more interesting I think. ItÕ s more what we think is cool about music. ItÕ s not about being the big guy, itÕ s about being interesting. P: ThereÕ s a lot of well intentioned advice to

look glossy and produced and itÕ s not possible unless youÕ re in a position where someone can pay you to be glossy and produced all the time.

E: Are music videos something you think is key to the success of a band, and your band? J: ItÕ s part of the overall project, youÕ ve got to have cool videos. M: Videos are one way of bridging a gap between the record and the band when you canÕ t play live every night and you canÕ t afford to do world tours or thereÕ s not enough interest for you to do world tours. I think that music videos are a step closer in terms of intimacy. T: ItÕ s the way that you can search for more material about a band that you may be interested in. ItÕ s quite exciting that you can find and discover all that stuff. L: ItÕ s just a more interesting angle on the song, and thatÕ s cool in itself

and thatÕ s a good enough reason to do one. E: Do you have a tour or a series of concerts coming up after the album is released? T: Yeah weÕ ve got a couple of dates together for March with some really

cool bands like Ò Cats and Cats and CatsÓ , Ò A Genuine FreakshowÓ , Ò Little FishÓ - awesome bands so weÕ re very much looking forward to that, and there are more on the way. E: If you could have any ridiculous stage prop or

effect what would it be? L: Carrots T: Yeah we like vegetable shaving. L: When we didnÕ t have very many good songs, we were thinking, Ò how can we make ourselves more interesting?Ó We did talk about peeling vegetables on stage and preparing a vegetarian dish. It didnÕ t happen. E: Do you have groupies? P: Well some of us have girlfriends, but thatÕ s not really the same. M: Most of our lyrics are about inadequacy and sort of being crap at everything so I donÕ t think people are interested. L: Chicks dig the sensitive guys. P: Yeah that hasnÕ t been our experience but if anyone wants to prove us wrong then come along to the gig. L: You canÕ t say that! (laughing) E: Are you reckless youths on a path of destruction?

P: IÕ m just currently sipping on Ribena and Jim Beam. J: ThatÕ s disgusting. P: No itÕ s nice. M: Ultimately everyone is arenÕ t they? So yes probably yeah, we are. P: But not in a Ò Jagermeister / drinking trashing hotel roomsÓ way. More in a probably Ò ruining our careerÓ way. J: If we get enough money for a gig to afford Jagermeister and staying in a hotel room, IÕ ll drink it and then trash the room.. E: Does Matt ever break his equipment? L: Yes. P: Well in fairness, MattÕ s equipment has a habit of breaking, and the juryÕ s out as to whether itÕ s his fault. It seems like misfortune a lot of the time. M: ItÕ s a curse, a curse! J: We have an expression in the band which is the Ò Madras touchÓ , where instead of everything you touch turning to gold, it turns to shit. ThatÕ s what Matt has with technology and electricity. M: Is that our expression? P: No I donÕ t think so. I

think it exists outside of the band as well. E: Is there another album in the pipeline, are you already dreaming up your next masterpiece? T: WeÕ re working on it now. E: Lovely, thatÕ s the interview over now. M: Just make sure we sound funny, clever, intelligentÉ.. P: Really attractive. M: Yeah really attractive, sensitive, and not like dicks. T: Yeah because we are not dicksÉ.or the big guys.

Ô Pull Us ApartÕ is outnow For more information on the band visit: www.myspace.com/ springoffensive

Top 22 Punk Albums This is a guide to what we think are the top 22 punk albums both old and new. If you are familiar with punk music youÕ ll almost certainly be familiar with this list. If youÕ ve never really listened to punk music, firstly what the fuck have you been doing? Listening to hippity-hoppity music? secondly you should cause itÕ s great, have a read, then have a listen.

Agnostic Front ’Victim in pain’ This is AFÕ s debut album recorded in 1984, and is widely regarded as their best al-

bum, and one of the best hardcore albums of all time. ItÕ s fast, itÕ s brutal but with breaks of marching rhythms. Ô Last warningÕ and Ô with timeÕ are personal favourites and sums up the albumÕ s sound. This album kicks and spits.

Angelic Upstarts ‘Teenage Warning’ Their debut album recorded in 1979, one of my favourite british punk albums. It has more of a rock and roll feel but with powerful lyrics about the opressive policies of Margaret Thatcher. One of the most politically charged albums of the time, and with lyrics like Ô fuck off and leave me aloneÕ you can see why!!

Bad Brains ‘I Against I’ One of my favourite intro songs to an album of all time. Recorded in 1986, this is Bad BrainsÕ highest selling album and interestingly is their only album that doesnÕ t have a reggae influence. It fuses funk, soul, heavy metal and hardcore punk. H.R. the singer recorded the vocals for the song Ô Sacred LoveÕ over the phone from prison while he was serving time due to marijuana distribution charg-

Bad Religion Suffer

This album was recorded after a 5 year break for the band in 1988. It is considered one of the best punk albums of the 80s and was Epitaph Records best selling album until the release of The Offsprings album Ô SmashÕ . NOFXÕ s Fat Mike describes it as Ò the record that changed everythingÓ , i think heÕ s right.

T f r o a o i e T o p r l e a g A Buzzcocks n ‘Love Bites’ m This is the second t album released e in 1978, very influential on the manchester music scene at the time, it has a more pop punk feel and the song Ô Ever Fallen in LoveÕ remains a classic and a must T listen. f

s 5 e t e k s h l e m s s d k

Black Flag ‘Damaged’ The bandÕ s first full length album recorded in 1981, one of the greatest albums of all time, one of the most iconic album covers in punk music. This was a classic of the era and the peak of their career, with the newly joined lead singer Henry Rollins, a true god of the genre blasting out Anti-authoritarian, non-conformist messages of isolad tion neurosis, povd erty and paranoia. e c , p e n a The Bronx ‘The Bronx’ t Their debut and first of their three

self titled albums released in 2003. The spawn of which is Mariachi el Bronx their mexican alter egoÕ s. All of their albums are The Dwarves good so this should ‘Are Young And Good really be titled Looking’ Ô Everything the Released in 1997, Bronx has doneÕ . the band are notorious for self-mutilation, on-stage sex and taking hard drugs. Their live shows would only last about 15 minutes usually The Damned ‘Machine Gun cut short due to Etiquette’ spectators injurThis is their 3rd ing themselves. album and the first This album was a since reforming new direction with with Dave Vanian which they could on vocals. A more play longer sets experimental al- but still with a loud bum compared to garage punk style previous. A blend and controversial of punk, psyche- lyrics. delic rock and pop styles. The album includes Ô Looking at youÕ a cover song originally by MC5, and one of their most famous and my favourThe Exploited ‘Horror Epics’ ite Damned song Ô Smash It UpÕ , this H a r d c o r e / s t r e e t is proper get up punk band from and go music. Scotland with a

worldwide reputation. Their 4th album released in 1985, the title track refers to the horror of starvation in the third world, and westerners tendency to look away. They are still writing albums today and are as strong and in your face as they always have been. A proper boot to the face.

Leftover Crack ‘Fuck World Trade’ Highly controversial band and album. The band lives in a squat in New York and have a history of conflict with the NYPD. They play a mix of ska, crust punk and hardcore with anarchistic lyrics. This album is one of my favourite punk albums, itÕ s been banned in a lot of places due

to its title and artwork which features George Bush blowing up the world trade centre. It has longer songs than previous albums and are more diverse with string arrangements and synthesizers and guest appearances from Anti-flag.

Minor Threat ‘Minor Threat’ Released in 1991, this hardcore punk album inspired the straight edge movement with the 45 second long song Ô Straight EdgeÕ a highlight of the LP. Ô Out of StepÕ was another song on the album which solidifies the band having anti-drug views. Silverchair, Pennywise, Rise Against and Slayer have all covered songs from this album.

ressÕ is a classic and was covered by avid fans of the Misfits, Metallica.

The Misfits ‘Static Age’ The inventors of the genre Horror punk, recorded in 1978 and released in full in 1997 this debut album lead by one of the best frontmen and singers in music, Glenn Danzig. My second favourite punk album of all time. Due to time restrictions the songs were recorded with only a few takes each. Many of the songs were based on horror films and American historical events from the 1960s and 70s. It personifies MisfitsÕ gothy, sludgy, gloomy horror punk rock style perfectly. The album also contains sexually explicit lyrics about Jackie Kennedy (JFKÕ s wife). Ô Last Ca-

Operation Ivy ‘Energy’ This 19 track album was a pivotal point for skacore, and is one of the most important in the ska punk genre, and was the bands only LP release in 1989. It has similarities to the music of Rancid and was a widely covered album by many punk bands. If you like punk music and skanking then this is the album for you.

Peter And The Test Tube Babies ‘Pissed And Proud’

This is the only live album on the list recorded at Hammersmith, Wood Green and their hometown Brighton in 1982. They have tongue in cheek lyrics as demonstrated in the songs Ô Up Your BumÕ and Ô Banned From the PubsÕ , the album also includes a cover of Gary GlitterÕ s song Ô IÕ m the leader of the gangÕ . Proper british good fun.

Rancid ‘And Out Come The Wolves’ My favourite punk album of all time. You canÕ t fault this album everything about it is perfect. It has a heavy ska influence sound due to Tim and MattÕ s old band Operation Ivy. It was released in 1995 and went gold and platinum

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in 1996 and 2004 respectively. It had three hit singles Ô Roots RadicalsÕ , Ô Time BombÕ and Ô Ruby SohoÕ , however my favourite song is Ô Maxwell MurdersÕ simply for the astonishing bass playing by Matt Freeman. The album artwork is a tribute to Minor Threat. This album is a must for anyone who likes listening to music of any genre.

Sex Pistols ‘Never mind The Bollocks’ Released in 1977 this is the only official studio album from the band. Highly controversial and highly influential, everyone know this album and it is regarded as a very important record in the history of rock mu-

sic. Went to UK number 1 in 1977. If you havenÕ t heard this album then....well....your bollocks.

Sham 69 ‘That’s Life’ A huge influence on the street punk and Oi scene this typically english band released this album in 1978. It is a great album and times very funny. It had two big hits with Ô Hurry Up HarryÕ and Ô Angels With Dirty FacesÕ .

Sick Of It All ‘Scratch The Surface’ This band is a huge influence on the American hardcore punk scene and this third album

released in 1994 demonstrates exactly why that is. This is their most successful release and may be due to a switch in label. Ô Step DownÕ is a huge song and one of the best hardcore punk songs of all time.

Stiff Little Fingers ‘Inflammable Material’ This is the lads from BelfastÕ s first and signature album released in 1979. This band are cracking live and have elements of rock n roll. My favourite song is Ô Johnny WasÕ which has a stompy military feel to it.

Subhumans ‘The Day The Country Died’ Formed in Trowbridge this hardcore anarcho-punk band released this their first LP in 1983. It was recorded in just 5 days and released on the bands own label. It is Influenced by the George Orwell book 1984 most clearly seen in the song Ô Big BrotherÕ . Highly focused on the politics of media and has dystopian overtones.

U.K.Subs ‘Punk As Fuck’ One of the very first british and street punk bands formed in 1976, they continue to tour today. Any of their albums are good but this one has the best name. Think punk, rock and pubs.

ten most fucked up ďŹ lm *in no particular order - each one is as fucked up as the other

Freaks

CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST

eraserhead AUDITION

I spit on your grave

lms.* 30.

drink responsibly.

robz mason

Rob is an old friend of mine I have known for the majority of my life. He always had an amazing talent for drawing and it was clear to me that is was going to be a big and sucessful part of his life. I havenÕ t seen him for a while now but we catch up now and again........ Ellz: Where are you at the moment? Rob: I am currently in the living room at my mums house. E: WhatÕ s your favourite place in the world? R: Nowhere specific but somewhere green in the summer with not many people is good. E: What do you enjoy doing the most? R: IÕ m happy driving, painting or watching a good movie, some Ò inhalable inspirationÓ doesnÕ t go a miss either. E: What is your favourite film? R: I struggle to even work out a top 10 but if i had to pick one id say labyrinth by jim henson. E: Who is your favourite musician/band? R: I like a bit of everything but am currently listening to the thrashfunk band Ô infectious groovesÕ with members from suicidal tendencies. E: How many guns do you own? R: Currently just an air rifle, i havenÕ t got round to applying for a shotgun license yet but my mum has one so i sometimes use that.

E: What is your current mode of transport? R: I drive a ford transit camper van thing, its damp in the back during the winter but i spent most of last summer in the back of it in cornwall, also my trusty stunt wood (aka skateboard) and an old folding bicycle my friends mum gave me E: WhatÕ s your choice of drink? R: Any beer will do, not really into spirits but i love a good apple juice E: Any embarrassing/drunken moments? R: Nothing springs to mind, i guess i must be quite a well-behaved drunk. the odd bit of petty theft or violence, but that is very rare E: Who is your favourite artist? R: At the moment IÕ m into vic reeves from shooting stars. Not many people know heÕ s an artist and his pictures are pretty funny E: What inspires/influences your art?

RobÕ s Email: robertowillybum@ hotmail.com

R: pretty much everything E: How do you come up with your ideas? R: They just turn up inside my head without warning E: Where do you do your art? R: Wherever IÕ m living at the time, i donÕ t have a studio yet but thats part of the dream E: How often do you produce your art? R: It varies, IÕ m thinking about stuff all the time but wont necessarily draw everyday. E: What materials do you use? R: Usually acrylic on scraps of wood or water colour, sometimes iÕ ll make something 3-D if i get an idea and iÕ ve got something to make it with, whatever i can find really E: Do you do commissions/can anyone buy your art? R: I have some t-shirts and prints in a shop in exeter called Ò no guts no gloryÓ , you can buy online as well at www.ngngdesign.com E: Would you ever want to do an exhibition of your work if the opportunity arose? R: Sure, I donÕ t think IÕ m good enough for that yet though, I donÕ t think Id like the attention either so maybe If I could have one without actually having to go thatÕ d be good. E: What do you want to do in the future? Is art something you see as being a part of it? R: I definitely want to always be an artist, I plan to find a wife, buy some land, build my own house and become self-sufficient.

CAMDEN TOW

Camden Market is the playground for punks. With a number of adjoining large markets in Camden located on Hampstead road Lock of the Regentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Canal but to the locals simple just called Camden Lock. The stalls sell everything from crafts, clothing, bric-a-brac, fast food to the essential punk gear. It is the fourth most popular visitor attraction in London, attracting approximately 100,000 people each weekend. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the place to meet like minded people, to chill out over a pint in the pubs near the lock, eat great food and generally have a good time. The streets at night are just as lively as during the day, fetching a great combination of live music, clubs and just general chilled out bars. This is the one place in london you can be who ever the fuck you want to be and have no-one batter an eye. Written by Jessica du Preez Photographer: Georgie Reed

14.

TOM SHERRIFF 38

MANC M

anchester is home to two massive universities - the University of Manchester and Manchester Metropolitan (three if you count Salford), so the city is great for students. The only problem is there are fucking thousands of them. Living in a student area like I stupidly do, itÕ s impossible to avoid them. Tonight was a Monday night, and there was gash on the lash everywhere. Now IÕ m not a sit at home loser, I donÕ t even smoke pot anymore, but come on. IÕ m game for a party Friday and Saturday night, Thursday too, and maybe Wednesday. Okay Tuesday as well if thereÕ s something

RANT

good on. But Monday night? What could there possibly be worth going and getting fucked for on a Monday? You see drunk girls wobbling across the middle of the road, their fat fleshy arses illuminated in a carÕ s headlights as it has to slow down and herd them along like cattle. Oh no! StaceyÕ s broken a heel and now canÕ t walk because sheÕ s too fucking obese and wasted. I donÕ t care, fuck you. Just donÕ t puke on my shoes while I help you stand up again.So itÕ s 24/7 this stuff. Am I a psychopath if I have happy daydreams of watching all the shit clubs they go to burning down with them inside? ThereÕ d be me

cackling on a rooftop somewhere to myself - Ô Tiger Tiger burning bright, Alcopop also alight, etc....Õ IÕ d be listening to Ô The EndÕ by the Doors, except playing it backwards with my finger on a record player and throwing petrol doused faggots at virgins on the cobbled streets below.Enough of that - IÕ m not trying to open myself up to a psychiatrist, or tell the court why I did it. But maybe you can sympathize with me, like I evidently can them - in life you face many difficult situations, so am I a bad person for wanting to smash some heads between a rock and a hard place? OK sorry I said enough.

ItÕ s a quiet Friday night for me, IÕ ve been working all day and all IÕ d like to do is rest. Not even rest hard like most people do at this time of the week, but just sit in front of the television eating something inane and watching something even more so, but apparently itÕ s frowned upon to do that around these parts. IÕ ve just come back from a short walk incorporating a visit to the local SainsburyÕ s, apparently the place to go to have oneÕ s choice of evening entertainment churlishly mocked. IÕ m going home to London tomorrow to spend the week with my girlfriend, so sorry for not Ô going largeÕ the night before (see My Boyfriend Is A Dick for why). So you may now imagine me, standing in the queue, holding a modest four-pack of beers and a microwave meal. For one. I was staring into space and daydreaming as I got to

the checkout and proffered said items to Stuart, my indefatigably helpful cashier for the day. Now, itÕ s a fucking supermarket, do I have to have my wits about me every minute of every day, especially after spending hours learning why a fourteenth century Italian courtier should possibly want to be good at archery and ballroom dancing at the same time? And then he popped the question. Ò Night in alone eh?Ó Asks Stu with a patronising chortle. Urgh. One of his colleagues laughs, and sharing the amusement are three scantily clad female students (inappropriately so considering their generous proportions) each clutching their own crate of Strongbow, who titter asininely. What if I needed ingredients for a salad and happened also to have dry lips? What kind of reaction would I get if

I put a cucumber and a tub of vaseline on the counter? For fuckÕ s sake. I guess I must live the reclusive life of a total loser, and I was thinking that from now on I should use the self service checkouts so as to avoid the fatuous scrutiny of my shopping (or just to avoid any contact with other humans altogether) when I thought: No, you know what? Fuck you Stuart, fuck you his bald colleague and not forgetting the girls, FUCK you, you three, fat, soon-to-bedrunk bitches. IÕ m going downstairs to put the microwave to good use and listen to Minor Threat. It had better be a good fucking meal. Over and out. Morning and afternoon: It is a very cold day. Lying on my front in the hard mud, I put snow in my mouth. The SS Captain standing in the doorway of the ruined shoe factory takes 39

one last, contemplative drag of his cigarette, the orange glow searing right in the middle of the crosshairs. The silver death-skull glitters in the dark light. I fire. I sigh, and look up from my books at my revision-buddy. Things arenÕ t going too well, I hate revising, and evidently IÕ m getting pretty easily distracted. I canÕ t wait for Holocaust Memorial Day. I have an exam then. And I will be 21 too. What fun. Evening: So IÕ m back here in my freezing house (the most efficient source of heat is the fridge, it is broken), and IÕ m about to go out. IÕ ve already forsaken my run for tonight (yes - I took it up, itÕ s like the smokerÕ s version of bulimia). IÕ m well underway with pre-lash obvie, (actually IÕ m not - thatÕ s the problem). IÕ m going to somewhere I absolutely hate, but I will 40

bear it for the sake of friends who are there. Alcohol and fun donÕ t seem to be correlating at the moment for one reason or another. Weirdly, there are usually so many fat chicks at the bar IÕ m going to tonight. I think thatÕ s something to do with the fact that itÕ s so near to the university halls they donÕ t have to walk that far, just roll down the hill and then go back up it in an ambulance later (via Chunky Chicken first OBVS!). But I must be strong. ItÕ s time for me to turn off the Miles Davis, down the RŽ my and stub out the Montecristo - THIS. IS. WAR. Wish me luck.

This is an extract from a continuing series by tom titled Ô Manchester rantsÕ . To read more of TomÕ s rants, raves and other thoughts visit his blog: www.jealousyj.blogspot.com where youÕ ll find pieces covering music, art, politics and general interest TomÕ s email is: tomshez99@yahoo.co.uk

LL EBE

VAL I T S E F ON

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. . . . . . .The News

he economyÕ s still fucked, thereÕ s war in the Middle East and Sri Lanka, Nigeria, Congo, Somalia etc..., the Prime MinisterÕ s put Britain into the most debt since WW2, the governmentÕ s corrupt and unemployment is rising SO..... the second most read story on the BBC news website is Ò In pictures: budgie hassles kitten to play.Ó Dear fucking god.

I think there are three ways people respond to this sort of fact (it isnÕ t technically a fact by the way - in reality by the end of the 15th May this was the number 1 most read story on the BBC News website) they either respond with: A) a mixture of shock, disbelief and anger , B) a light laugh at how stupid the general population is whilst still acknowledging that in truth this is a shitty state of affairs or C) they look at you and say, Ò stop being such a grumpy bastard, itÕ s just a bit of light relief...people like that sort of thing you know.Ó To the As - I congratulate you, Bs - same

again, I like the ability to laugh at the sorry state of the general population and to the Cs Ð please feel free to suck my balls. Honestly. Fuck you.

This may seem a tad harsh, but to be honest this started as a Facebook rant and has simply continued its rage onto a word document; IÕ m properly pissed off. Light relief is fine but itÕ s started to take precedence over reality. And that isnÕ t fine. Ignorance is not an excuse to be completely morally barren. DonÕ t get me wrong, I fully accept the shortcomings of todayÕ s media, I really do understand that the news either seems hopelessly depressing or ridiculously rainbows, fairies and little teddy bears gay... but remember that theyÕ re just catering to their target markets. Their market research has obviously given them some fantastic results; people donÕ t like to be reminded that the worldÕ s a shit heap; we would rather read about budgies and kittens. We would much rather be told

about Gerald the donkey whoÕ s developed a smoking habit, or Clive the mouse who lives in its ownerÕ s asshole and can knit. Ô CuteÕ stories about poor, inbred, mutant horses that canÕ t grow more than 9 inches tall are much more sellable today than the fact that the CongoÕ s war is STILL going on or that radical Islamic rebels are closing in on SomaliaÕ s capital to take control, displacing thousands of inhabitants. The front page is now just a by-passable element of a modern newspaper, people flick through the boring politics to get to the next extraordinary story about some little animal that has shocked the world with a superb abundance of cuteness. And please donÕ t get me started on celebrities, if I really wanted to know what Paris Hilton was up to IÕ d stalk her myself. Instead, I donÕ t care so donÕ t tell me.

I wonder if the mediaÕ s to blame and generally come to the conclusion that yes it is, to a point. The more people read this shit, the more itÕ ll take precedence over the real stories. The more people turn a blind eye to the horrible stories or to the reports that might cause them to care, the more newspapers and websites will report about shit that no one will even remember in a week. At the same time the forces of the media need to realise

that they have to cut the happy gay or depressing Goth vibe theyÕ ve got going. They need to realise that thereÕ s a lot of good stuff happening as well as the conventional bullshit.

Why, dear god, why have we let that light relief be so light that people forget to take into account that the news is the source of all the information the general population of this country have about what is going on in the world around us? Sure blame the media if it makes you happy, but remember that the main problem is the people, the Cs, who buy a newspaper to read about nice things, who skip through the pages that might remind them that thereÕ s stuff going on outside of their own little bubble of a community thatÕ s more important than them and their friends. To say that the news doesnÕ t affect you is bullshit, every story affects everyone somehow and if you donÕ t want to do anything about the shitty state of the majority of mankind than at least acknowledging it and caring about it is surely better than ignoring it and moving on to the next story about Katie fucking Price or some fucking little animal, or Katie Price fucking some little animal.

4 2

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