6 minute read
Rejector Stories
Stories From The Perspective Of The Rejectors
By Wynne Bendell, Claire Terzich, and Nicole Watson
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Drama teacher Jill Jacobs has a ritual for every school production. She holds auditions, makes her decisions and when the last bell rings on a Friday she puts up the cast list.
“I tend to put up a cast list and run off-campus,” Jacobs said
Jacobs feels the need to run off campus right after she posts the cast list because she wants to avoid conflicts with students who might not be happy with their casting. She said it is important for her that everyone privately reacts to the news and has the weekend to reflect and accept her decisions.
“Usually I try to post a cast list before winter break so that I can go away and they can have that information and we have 2 weeks to just calm down before we come back together.” Said Jacobs
Conversations surrounding rejection often focus on those who are rejected, and we generally demonize rejectors. We spoke to drama teacher Jill Jacobs, volleyball coach Corey Kramer, and Senior Saila Tucker who shared their experiences with being the rejector, and for some of them having to reject large groups of people.
Jacobs has been teaching at AHS for six years and has directed eight school productions including this years In Wonderland which opens Thursday, April 6, 2022. Despite getting better at coping with the stress of rejecting students it has not necessarily gotten easier for her to deliver the bad news. According to her, one of the reasons it is so difficult for her to reject students from school productions is because she has known and taught the students who are auditioning for multiple years.
“When I do shows here, It’s almost harder for me I think than it is for them because for most of the students auditioning I’ve known them and seen them as freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and finally seniors and I get a sense of what they are hoping for and it doesn’t always work out that way, it is so hard to deliver that bad news,” Jacobs said.
Kramer, who has been coaching volleyball at AHS for 10 years agrees with Jacobs that the hardest part of the job is rejecting people. He feels that it is the most difficult part of coaching because students have put themselves out there to make the team.
“It sucks. It’s the worst part of coaching ever and that somebody gives up their time to come out and put forth the effort to play a game that they think is fun and exciting. I have to tell them no because their skills aren’t at the point that they could be competitive or it’s not safe for them.” Kramer said
Jacobs and Kramer have had experience being the rejector for years. When they have to reject people they are prepared for it, they know when and how they are going to do it. Whereas Tucker, has had a slightly different experience. She was faced with a romantic proposition where she had to decide to reject this person with no preparation at all.
“I wasn’t really prepared, I didn’t expect them to confess feelings to me even though I knew they had feelings” Tucker said
Jacobs has a difficult time casting the school productions, she has expressed that it hasn’t gotten easier to reject people but she found ways to relieve some stress.
“It takes me a really long time to cast things, in recent years I have tried to pull in help to get another person’s perspective so I am not the only person making these decisions because it is really really hard. It is so emotional for them and me.” Jacobs said
When it comes to selecting and cutting AHS student-athletes, out of the respect of the students and courtesy, Kramer directly calls to apprise them.
“I’ve been doing it long enough that I know it’s part of the job. I always get anxious. I do it via phone call. Some coaches do it with lists on the wall with kids’ names and it’s nobody’s business but that kid and mine. So I do my students and my athletes the respect of making a phone call, calling them directly, asking if they have any questions, and letting them know one way or the other as opposed to an anonymous list on the walls that anyone can see, but still get anxious.” Kramer said
Kramer advises those you have to reject someone to be respectful and to be sympathetic to the person who has put themselves in a vulnerable position.
“Advice? Grace. Practice grace. Understand that those people--those kids, adults, or whoever you’re working with are putting themselves out there and they are taking a chance and to respect that, that they are making an effort, and to respect them in that process and not make them feel worse than they need to. So respect and grace are how I deal with it in the end.” Kramer said
Jacobs acknowledges that being in the position of the rejector is difficult and pleasing everyone is impossible.
“I know that there is no way in the world that I’m going to make everyone happy, so I’ve accepted that, and then I just do it, I can think about it for a moment and move on. Because I’ve got to be there for everybody, as a leader and a director and I have to be confident in those decisions I am making” Jacobs said
What does rejection feel like and how did you cope with it?
“Well, when I was rejected from the play. It was actually because I forgot to go to the call backs that I ended up getting rejected. So I ended up feeling sort of foolish and a little pretty embarrassed to be honest but I realized then you know that’s just how things went and there’s no reason to be upset long over it. I just need to keep doing my best and do my best
Senior Chrissy Flores
“At first it was very underwhelming and it wasn’t as exciting as I thought it would be because I had high expectations for what I would get. Then I just found love and comfort in the character that I was because I know Ms. Jacobs casts people for a reason and even if you can’t see it for yourself, for why you’re the character that she casted, it’s about finding how to love that character. I think it’s a time thing, you don’t have to 100 percent love it, but if you can find that sense of belonging in that character then it will be worth it in the end.”
Senior Mia Celzo
“It sucks. It feels bad because I worked really hard for it and got nothing out of it. I worked really hard for my goals and it felt like I waste. To feel better, I tried extra hard for that second chance. Once I did however, I failed again. It felt even worse. Now that I am going in for the third time, I adapted a negative mindset and a sense of lerarned helplessness. My advice for those going after their goals and dreams is to create smaller goals so that you climb over hurdles instead of mountains”
