Three students share their coming out stories
By Claire Terzich
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enior Esai Romero-Cruz was joking around with his mom and it turned into revealing something that she didn’t know. “My mom and I were laying down and watching TV and she asked if I was dating my best friend and I said ‘no, but I like guys.’” Romero-Cruz said Romero-Cruz identifies as gay and officially came out in the middle of his sophomore year to his friends. It took him a pretty long time to realize that he was gay and when it came to telling his family, he wasn’t sure whether to tell them or not. Although there were some people who weren’t happy with the idea, he did receive support and acceptance from some people he told. When coming out to his friends, it started with a joke he made. “I came out to my friends first, just like three of them, it was just because I made a gay joke and I had to explain myself and I didn’t want to sound like a bad person and had to like explain why. My friends were definitely supportive for the most part.” Romero-Cruz said Similarly with his mom, it started with a joke his mom made by asking if he was dating his best friend, which lead to him admitting he liked guys “...she was like ‘no you don’t’ and I was like ‘yea I do’ and she was like ‘no you don’t’ and I was like ‘oh okay, like no I’m serious’ and she was like ‘oh okay’ and that went on for a few minutes and then I went to my room because I didn’t want to see her reaction after that. I was like nice talk and walked away.” Romero-Cruz said Since coming out Romero-Cruz has learned to accept himself for who he is. “When I think about the time before I came, it doesn’t feel like me. Before I came out I felt alone in what I was feeling. I felt like the feelings I had were wrong and I needed to fix myself. After coming out and surrounding myself with people who accept me, I have learned to not hate myself for it. I feel much happier now, than I was back then and think it is because I now don’t have to hide a big part of who I am.” Romero-Cruz said
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unior Kel Alarcon-Cruz had a boyfriend and decided to end things because they didn’t feel any romantic feelings towards him and it led to revealing a part of themselves to their friend. “In 8th grade I had a boyfriend at the time and I realized that we were just friends and I didn’t feel anything more than that; so I told him that we should break up.” Kel Alarcon-Cruz came out as lesbian to one of their friends, in 8th grade, and later as nonbinary. They are president of Gender Sexuialuty Alliance (GSA), which is a club at AHS that celebrates and supports the LBBTQ+ community. Alacron-Cruz explained how everyone was upset with them after their breakup and they opened up to a friend of why they did it. “Everyone was mad at me for some reason and when my friends were like why did you break up with him and I was like it’s because I don’t like guys. I just finally said it to someone and she was like oh wow really and that was the first time I came out to someone.” Alarcon-Cruz admits to feeling nervous about people’s reaction coming out, specifically concerning one of their best friends. “I was definitely nervous. For the lesbian one, we still had PE and the dressing room and one of my best friends was in there and I was afraid that she would see my differently, even through she was completely fine with it; it was just the fear of being judged by other people is what made me nervous.” Alarcon-Cruz said Alarcon-Cruz came to realize that they felt more comfortable identifying as non-binary and using a different name. They came out via social media, but firstly to his current girlfriend. “For being non-binary, I came out to my current girlfriend. They came out, before me, as non-binary; so I figured myself out and figured out that that’s what I am too. I posted on my spam and tik tok accounts, where my friends followed me, to let them know I didn’t want to go by a certain name anymore because I don’t really feel connected to it. So it would be appreciated if you would call me Kel and use these pronouns because it makes me feel more comfortable with myself.” Alarcon-Cruz said
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ophomore Jessica Reyes decided to come out to an old friend of hers, but was met with a negative reaction. “With an old friend of mine, they simply just ignored my sexuality and told me I’m not bi because I look straight and how you have to look queer and how I’m probably just confused, that really hurt because I felt so invalidated.” Jessica Reyes said Reyes came out in the middle of their 8th grade year and currently identifies as queer, “I’m currently questioning it, so I’m just going to say queer, but the closest thing is probably bi-sexual or pansexual.” Jessica Reyes said According to the Merriam Dictionary, pansexual is defined as “relating to, or characterized by sexual or romantic attraction that is not limited to people of a particular gender identity or sexual orientation”. Before coming out, Reyes had her concerns about the reaction she would face from others, “I guess it was just hoping I wasn’t going to be weirded out or fetishized, since I like both genders” Jessica Reyes said Reyes said it was a friend who made them realize this part of their identity. “I came out to my friend because she was the girl I had a crush on and I didn’t have a crush on her anymore, but I just wanted to let her know first because she kind of made me realize. Cute love story right there. We’re still friends.” Reyes recounted the odd responses from people who found out they liked both genders. “Some people saw me, since I present as fem, they didn’t really care and they were like ‘oh you just like kissing them [other girls] or whatever’, like every other girl. Some bashed me because they were like ‘oh what if you have a crush on me’, like no, it doesn’t necessarily mean that.” When reflecting on how the coming out experience was for them, Reyes expresses the difficulties she has faced. “I feel like it [coming out] went okay, but that’s only because I didn’t have to explain it much, but I do get backlash because too many, even the ones in my community, say we aren’t even queer” Jessica Reyes said
