Mirroring Media

all the time try to portray his “masculine traits” Alhandarish said.

Many believe that Andrew Tate and similar online figures are at the forefront of a growing model of masculinity that many attribute to be toxic. One of them being Women and Gender Studies teacher Kaedan Peters who believes that this form of masculinity can be harmful to young men.

“Toxic Masculinity is to me a gross kind of exaggeration of things on the masculine side of the spectrum, but also a misunderstanding of what masculinity means. Everyone has some masculinity and some femininity inside them, but I think that toxic masculinity is when people feel, specifically cisgender men, like they can only show masculine qualities. And that then comes to a point where they can’t recognize anything feminine as valuable, or as something to be respected. So what that ends up doing is leaving cis men really disrespectful and harmful to everyone around them.” Peters said.

Peters believes that toxic masculinity does not just create an inward conflict for boys and men and how they view themselves, but it also affects their ability to create connections with the people around them, including their friends. Peters believes that toxic masculinity confines boys’ ability to make deep emotional connections with their peers, especially with other boys.

“When they are interacting with other cis men and not able to develop strong relationships with them because in order to develop a connection with someone you have to be vulnerable, and they only see vulnerability as a feminine quality. So if you don’t have any vulnerability, or can’t express it, your ability to connect with other people is so limited. So then you are just really lonely, and really sad, and really scared, and really angry, and there is no place for those emotions to go. So then it creates a really toxic harmful environment for anyone to be around you.” Peters said.

Alhandarish has personal experiences with toxic masculinity and has had to deal with how peer pressure affects young men who are coming of age. He shares what his common interaction with his peers have looked like when trying to be vulnerable.

“I still see how if you try to do something sentimental it gets turned into a joke, literally within seconds. Those [peers that make jokes out of expressed emotions] are not people you want to be around. You want to be with people who you can be open with without it being funny or a joke.” said Alhandarish.

Peters has observed how toxic masculinity affects youngs men’s words and actions in the classroom and believes that there should be established communities where they can feel safe and express their feelings without fearing ridicule. They believe that school can be a place to facilitate that community.

“I think there are ways to create spaces for men to talk about how they have been raised, the models they are seeing for themselves, and to create strong mentorships with other men who are not afraid to be vulnerable and have skill of being vulnerable and who show that that can be a part of masculinity too. I think that is really key.” Peters said.