Dear mrs

Dear Mrs. Park

I understand how difficult it is to solve a sibling rivalry as through the years, I have frequently given parents with similar situations tips on rivalry between siblings. Here are some that they found especially useful and hopefully you will also find it helpful.

It is common incident that siblings compete for attentions and affection from the parents. During last visit to your house, I could sense that Young Ju felt she was being treated differently from Joon Ho. In the case like Joon Ho got to play with bubbles and she had to wash the car, it is always difficult for parents to treat children equally at the same time. While children are created equally, it’s impossible to treat them that way all the time. Children aren’t the same; you don’t need to behave as if they were. I strongly advice you to make moment-­‐by-­‐moment decisions and not to worry about the consequences if you give one child more strokes than other one day. It might be better for you to shoot for a balanced week rather than balanced day because children want to be treated individually, not equally.

One thing that parents might often do unconsciously is comparing. This can encourage undesirable behavior among siblings and it could lead to bullying when one finds that he/she is better than another. As children are constantly being compared and rate on their performance at school, with friends and during the games, the home is only place left that value children for themselves and not in comparison with anyone else. It is important to praise your children for accomplishments in relation to themselves and not in comparison to a sibling. In this way, each of children can feel that they are special in the eyes of parents.

I hope my advice gave you some ideas that help you out. I am always available to you to advise on and discuss any issues that might arise in your families.

Please feel free to contact me with any problems or frustrations at anytime.

Best Regards,

Chae Eun Lee