April 13, 2005

honors Duke announces honorary degrees to award at graduation

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Duke Political Union aims to spur political discussion

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WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13, 2005

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THE INDEPENDENT DAILY AT DUKE UNIVERSITY

Anti-gay

ONE HUNDREDTH YEAR, ISSUE 131

SUED FOR SHARING

protesters to picket near Duke Emily Almas THE CHRONICLE

by

Protesters made famous for picketing the funeral of Matthew Shepard with their “God Hates Fags” campaign are slated to make an appearance near the University May 6. A group from Pastor Fred Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kan., said they will picket near the Main Street entrance to East Campus.

“There is a God, a standard, a day of judgment, a Hell and it’s not okay to be gay,” said Shirley Phelps-Roper, Phelps’ 47-year-old daughter, who is in charge of planning and executing the group’s demonstrations across the country. “If you live that life, and die in an unrepentant state, you’re going to Hell.”

Phelps-Roper said the group decided to protest at Duke in part because of material on the University’s website.

“Duke University receives tax dollars, and they’re using those tax dollars in part to fund the religion of the Sodomites,” said.

Phelps-Roper “They’ve got all kinds of homosexual stuff going on at Duke University, it’s all over the website.”

The group plans to picket on Main Street near East Campus during the afternoon May 6 before protesting two SEE PROTEST ON PAGE 8

JESSICA SCHREIBER/THE CHRONICLE

Junior Jordan Greene plans to plead guilty to illegal file-sharing and see if the recording industry follows through with its multimillion-dollarlawsuit.

Recording industry targets junior in S3M lawsuit by

Victoria Weston THE CHRONICLE

After a typical Friday night, junior Jordan Greene awoke to find himself groggy, hung over and facing a $3 million lawsuit from the Recording Industry Association ofAmerica.

“I got an e-mail on Saturday from [Vice President for Student Affairs] Larry Moneta—very vague, very short—saying that he needed to talk to me about a letter he received from the recording industry,” Greene said.

Moneta explained that the RIAA is

suing Greene for illegal file-sharing. Although the RIAA had already obtained his computer’s IP address, they had yet to identify Greene as the owner. The organization notified Duke of an impending subpoena, which Moneta said the University has not yet received.

“If a subpoena arrives, we will question our obligations, we’ll get good legal advice and we’ll figure out what we’ll reveal and not reveal,” Moneta said.

Greene is not alone. The RIAA is planning to sue more than 400 college students across the country in its latest effort

curb illegal file-sharing.

“We cannot let this high-speed network become a zone of lawlessness where the normal rules don’t apply,” Cary Sherman, RIAA president, said in a statement. “By taking this initial action, we are putting students and administrators everywhere on notice that there are consequences for unlawful uses of this network.”

Greene said the news initially caused him to have a panic attack, although he is now working to confront his situation. to

SEE RIAA ON PAGE 8

Joy Luck Club author recounts childhood tales throughout the author’s talk.

by

Meg Bourdillon THE CHRONICLE

Few speakers carry a duffel bag full of dogs onto stage with them—but then, Amy Tan is far from ordinary.

Bestselling author Tan let out her two tiny canine companions following her Tuesday night speech about her writing and life. Peals of laughter rang out in Page Auditorium, as they had several times

Celebrated works such as The Joy Luck Club, a fictionalized account of her own life focusing on mother-daughter relationships and being Asian-American, have brought Tan unusual experiences as well as fame.

The first time she saw the “Cliff s Notes” of her writing, Tan said, waving a copy, “I looked at this, and I said out loud, ‘But I’m not dead yet!”’

Being a contemporary author, she added, often involves being “skewered” by critics and “dissected” by readers and students. She noted that scholars tend to see depth in even meaningless patterns of her writing.

Readers often hail Tan for becoming a role model for Asian Americans and breaking down barriers for writers of color. She said, however, that her reasons

for writing are less “noble,” citing her love of a challenge and a desire to work through her own confusion about how the world works.

“This basic question—how things happen —is really the genesis of many a story,” Tan said Becoming a fiction writer, she explained, was a lifelong journey. After beginning college as a pre-med, she became an English major and began a career as a business writer. She credited her childhood, especially her mother’s belief in fate and ghosts, with developing her creative powers.

“She imbued in me an imagination that was based in disease and disaster and death... which is terrifying when you’re a child but is great when you’re a writer,” SEE TAN ON PAGE 9

Bestselling author Amy Tan speaks Tuesday night about her work and Asian-American heritage.

THE CHRONICLE

2 (WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13, 2005

worldandnation

Three charged with terrorist plot by

Mark Sherman

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

WASHINGTON

Three men with sus-

pected al Qaeda des, already in Bridsh custody, were charged Tuesday with a years-long plot to attack the New York Stock Exchange

and other East Coast financial institutions.

Discovery of the alleged terrorist plan last summer prompted the Homeland Security Department to raise the terror alert for the targeted buildings, located in New York, Washington and Newark, NJ. Security in those cities also was tightened.

A four-count indictment returned by a New York City grand jury alleges the men, all British citizens, visited and conducted

surveillance of the buildings and surrounding neighborhoods between August 2000 and April 2001.

The plot was foiled when Pakistani investigators seized a computer with information from the surveillance. British authorities were alerted and arrested eight men, including the three suspects, on terrorismrelated charges last August, Deputy Attorney General James Comey said.

The indictment “sends a message about our resolve to terrorists,” Comey said at a Justice Department news conference.

The grand jury returned the indictment March 23 but it was unsealed only Tuesday.

Named in it are Dhiran Barot, 33, Nadeem

Tarmohammed, 26, and Qaisar ShafFi, 26.

They could receive life sentences if convicted of the most serious charge, conspiracy to use weapons of mass destruction in the United States. The indictment lists those weapons as improvised explosive devices and bombs.

U.S. officials claim Barot is a senior al Qaeda figure, known variously as Abu Eisa alHindi, Abu Musa al-Hindi and Issa al-Britani.

Prosecutors say the men conducted surveillance on the stock exchange and Citicorp building in New York, the Prudential building in Newark and the International SEE PLOT ON PAGE 9

Scientists rush to destroy flu vials by

Emma Ross

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

LONDON Thousands of scientists were scrambling Tuesday at the urging of global health authorities to destroy vials of a pandemic flu strain sent to labs in 18 countries as part of routine testing.

The rush, urged by the World Health Organization, was sparked by a slim, but real, risk that the samples, could spark a global flu epidemic. The vials of vims sent by a U.S. company went to nearly 5,000 labs, mosdy in the United States, officials said.

“The risk is relatively low that a lab worker will get sick, but a large number of

labs got it and if someone does get infected, the risk of severe illness is high and this virus has shown to be fully transmissible,” WHO’s influenza chief Klaus Stohr told The Associated Press.

It was not immediately clear why the 1957 pandemic strain, which killed between 1 million and 4 million people—was in the proficiency test kits routinely sent to labs.

It was a decision that Stohr described as “unwise” and “unfortunate.”

That particular bug was “an epidemic virus for many years,” Stohr said from the U.N. health agency’s headquarters in Geneva, Switzerland. “The risk is low but

things can go wrong as long as these samples are out there and there are some still there.”

The 1957 strain has not been included in the flu vaccine since 1968, and anyone born after that date has no immunity to it.

Dr. Nancy Cox, chief of the influenza branch at the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, said her agency was notified of the situation Friday morning. She also said officials strongly doubt someone deliberately planted the dangerous germ or that this out

newsinbrief Sharon to U.S.: pressure Iran Prime Minister Ariel Sharon of Israel urged President George W. Bush to step up pressure on Iran to give up all elements of its nuclear program. Sharon said Israeli intelligence showed Iran was near "a point of no return" in learning how to develop a weapon.

German kidnapper arrested Police commandos in Germany slipped into a house where a knife-wielding man was holding four schoolgirls hostage Tuesday, surprising the suspect and taking him into custody while rescuing his captives after a five-hour standoff.

Bolton ready for confirmation John Bolton appeared a step closer to confirmation as ambassador to the United Nations despite scathing testimony Tuesday by a former State Department intelligence chief that he was a "serial abuser"of analysts who disagreed with his hard-line views.

Scandal rips through Canada Canadians call it their Watergate—a kickback scandal that has badly damaged the Liberal Party and now threatens to bring down the government of Paul Martin. How long Martin can remain prime minister is anyone's guess.

News briefs compiled from wirereports "You can tell a lot about a fellow by the Ronald Reagan way he eats jelly beans.

SEE FLU ON PAGE 10

AAASI99 Comparative Slavery & Emancipation ARTHIST 70 Intro To History of Art ARTVIS 53 Drawing BAA 132 Human Evolution BAA 1441 Primate Field Biology CHINESE! Elementary Chinese CHINESE 63 Intermediate Chinese CHINESE 125 Advanced Chinese CULANTH 180S.01 Exporting Beliefs CULANTH 1805.02 Television & New Media CULANTH 1805.03 First Contacts ECON 153 Money and Banking ECON 181 Corporate Finance EDUC 100 Foundations of Education EDUC 123 Motivating At-Risk Students EDUC 137 Contemporary Issues in Education EDUC 153 S Research in Service Learning EDUC 209 Global Education ENGLISH 1398 S Revolutionaries & Reactionaries ENGLISH 169CS Contemporary American Ethnic Narrative EOS 11 The Dynamic Earth GEORGIAN 1 Georgian Language & Culture GERMAN 1 First-Year German I GREEK 1 Elementary Greek HISTORY 103 Comparative Slavery & Slave Societies LIT 1208 Filming Diaspora LIT 132 Law & Literature LIT 150 The Subject of Romanticism LIT 151 Cyberpunk, Science, Dystopia

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THE CHRONICLE

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13,20051

New student group hopes

to

3

spark political debate

BY Orcun Unlu THE CHRONICLE

This semester a group of students started up a new organization: Duke Political Union. Similar to groups at Yale University, Columbia University and Harvard University, the Union will attempt to boost political activism and awareness on campus in order to combat the insular and apathetic political culture that founders observe at Duke.

DPU will be responsible for three major activities. Their plans include publishing a

quarterly political journal, sponsoring bigname speakers and holding weekly debates in an attempt to ignite post-election passion and to inspire participation in campus

political organizations.

TIAN QINZHENG/THE CHRONICLE

Sen. Richard Burr addresses a group ofabout 50 students at the first event sponsored by the Duke PoliticalUnion March 30.

Founded in 1934, the Yale Political Union—modeled after the Oxford and Cambridge Union societies—was the first of its kind in the United States. Each year America’s distinguished social and political leaders visit the Unions of Yale, Harvard, Columbia and other schools to discuss current affairs and debate with the students on campuses.

DPU already sponsored and carried out the “Breakfast with Burr” event March 30, and co-organized an event today in which George McGovern—longtime U.S. senator and presidential candidate in the 1972 elections—will deliver a public lecture. It will take place at 5 p.m. in the White Lecture Hall on East Campus.

McGovern’s speech will be followed by a question-and-answer session. He is on a nationwide tour to promote his newest book, The Essential America: Our Founders and The Liberal Tradition. “[McGovern] is arguably one of the most liberal thinkers after F.D.R.,” said junior Ben Chapin, who is an active member of DPU. “I personally put him behind J.F.K” SEE DPU ON PAGE

Correction NANCIE BATTAGLIA/GETTY

As the last major speaker sponsored by the Duke Political Union this semester, former Sen. George McGovern will lecture today to promote his latest book.

me franklin Seminar on Knowledge and Its Institutions”

at the Franklin Humanities

4/18/05, 4:3opm

Institute presents:

John Hope Franklin Center, Room 240

INSTALLATION: “The Zionist Ventriloquist”

ARTS IN APRIL

4/18/05-5/27/05

4/6/05,4:30pm

FRANKLIN CENTER EXHIBIT: “Roee Rosen-Justine Frank (1900-1943): A Selection”

John Hope Franklin Center, Room 130

LECTURE: “Art, Where Do You Go?”

4/20/05,4:3opm

EWAKURYLUK

John Hope Franklin Center, Room 240

Polish/French/American

LECTURE;

installation artist, novelist, critic

“Hostility to Art”

ROEE ROSEN

4/11/05, 8:00pm Nelson Music Room, East Duke

Israeli artist

Bidg.

CONCERT: “Voices in Struggle”

JOSE MANUEL OSORIO Portugese fado singer, accompanied by VIRIATO FERREIRA and JOSE SILVA

VUSi MAHLASELA South African singer/songwriter and activist

4/25/05,4:30pm _

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All events are free and open to the public. The John Hope Franklin Center is located at 2204 Erwin Road, Durham,NC, near Duke University Medical Center.

For more information, ca 11919-668-1902or visit http://www.jhfc.duke.edu/fhi.

In the caption for the photo accompanying the men's basketball article on page 9of the April 12 Chronicle, the player should have been identified as Jamal Boykin.

6

THE

4 IWEDNESDAY, APRIL 13, 2005

CHRONICLE

health&science NYC screens for depression risk Doctors in New York City have begun to use a simple questionnaire to determine if a patient is at risk for depression, a practice that health officials hope will become a routine part of primary care. The new program is the first to carry out depression screening using a scored test on a wide scale. It

comes amid a spirited national debate among psychiatrists, policy makers and patient-advocacy groups on the wisdom of screening for mental disorders, especially in children.

Silicone implants still banned Thirteen years after most silicone-gel breast implants were banned, federal health advisers Tuesday narrowly rejected a manufacturer's request to bring them back to the U.S. market, citing lingering questions about safety and durability. Inamed Corp. had argued that today's silicone implants are less likely to break and leak than versions sold years ago. But the Food and Drug Administration was skeptical, and its advisers voted 5-4 that the company hasn't provided enough evidence about how long the implants will last or the consequences of breaks.

Video game ban challenged A bill that would ban the sale of violent or sexually graphic video games to children may face constitutional challenges and could restrict some otherwise popular games, opponents said Tuesday. The bill's sponsor responded by soliciting testimony from a Harvard University professor on the media who said studies show the blood and gore kids encounter in the games can contribute to real-world violent behavior and poor health

Duke EMS celebrates decade of service by

Steve Veres

THE CHRONICLE

After almost a year and a half of organizing and planning, the Duke University Rescue Squad had its first 911 medical emergency call April 4, 1995. Matt Womble, a founding member of the squad and current administrative manager at Duke University Hospital, remembered how the team ran to the individual only to find the patient was having an asthma attack and was not seriously injured. “It was a little anticlimactic,” he said.

Womble said at the beginning students misunderstood the purpose of the Duke University Rescue Squad—some even considered it a joke. Back then, one squad member always carried around Big Blue, a large 40pound bag containing all of their rescue equipment. The squad had not yet bought official uniforms. Ten years later, all of that has changed.

Boasting new outfits and a squad car, Duke University Emergency Medical Services, renamed in 1998 and now a division of the Duke University Police Department, is now one of the top EMS programs in the country. It placed fourth in a nationwide skills competition, and former EMS Director David Strauss received the George J. Koenig, Jr. Service Award, an award given to one or two leaders nationwide who forward the mission of the national EMS organization.

“It took an awful lot of work to get them where they are now,” Womble said.

PATRICK PHELAN/THE CHRONICLE

Since its inception 10 years ago,Duke EMS has grown to include 25 uniformed undergraduates and one vehicle.

Today, Duke EMS responds to all 911 medical emergencies on campus. Duke EMS is an elite squad of 25 undergraduates who provide basic-level care to individuals on Duke’s campus. Members take 170 hours of class time and undergo several tests to prepare to be an Emergency Medical Technician.

Although each member’s motives differ, sophomore EMT William Pitt said about 50 percent of the squad is planning to go on to medical school while the other half participates as a hobby.

Bill Garber, Medical Center affairs manager for DUPD and adviser to Duke EMS, said being in a professional organization is an experience not often found on

the Duke campus.

“They are learning how to run a business, and I think the officers in those roles are learning things that they probably wouldn’t have,” he said. “They have made outstanding progress through their own hard work.”

The group responds to approximately 400 calls over the course of the year. According to their website, they have an average response time of four minutes.

One of the largest problems the group has had to overcome is the dual role of being a student group and also a professional EMT squad trained as thoroughly as other EMTs in North Carolina.

“One thing that most people don’t understand is that we actu-

ally do routinely get serious calls—more than just sprained ankles and drunk kids,” said sophomore Greg Heller, a member of Duke EMS. “I often wish people who make fun of us knew that.”

Within the next year, the squad is hoping to upgrade its medical service to include intermediate-level care, which would allow the squad to respond and treat individuals needing IVs and medicine.

Strauss, a senior, said about 15 percent of all calls require intermediate-level care. Since Duke EMS is not yet able to treat these patients, currently these patients are treated by Durham SEE EMS ON PAGE 6

THE CHRONICLE

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APRIL 13,20051

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Senior Week 2005!

Tonight!

President and Mrs. Brodhead’s Senior Picnic 6:00 to 8:00pm President’s Residence, Hart House 2324 Duke University Road **Students are encouraged to walk from West Campus as there is no parking available at the house. Parking for off-campus students will be available in the Blue Zone**

In the event of rain, the event will be held in the IM Building

Thursday, April 14th Reception for Senior Gift Donors Hosted by Deans Kristina Johnson, George McLendon, and Bob Thompson 5:00 to 7:00 pm Faculty Commons in the West Union Building

Senior Pub Crawl Bars TBA (check your email!)

10:00 to 2:00 am

Don’t forget to make your senior gift of $20.05!

Go to http://annualfund.duke.edu/ pages/senweek.htm to make your gift online or mail a check to The Senior Gift, Box 90600, Durham, NC, 27708.

Remember we want to reach 100%

participation!

���������������� � ��

Bryant Harris Hometown: Bowie, MD Duke Involvement: Black Student Alliance, Career Advising Team, Duke Club Lacrosse, Duke University Black Pre-Health Organization, Perkins Library Circulation Desk Supervisor.

Major: Sociology After Duke Plans: Chiropractic School in Northern California (East Bay Area) Why Duke? Because 1 thought it was a good fit for me Favorite Highlight of your Duke Experience: Forming Great Friendships with Great People Why give $20.05? Because I have given $160,000 and my name is no where on this school, and for only 20.05 more my name will be left permanently on this school. The real question would be why not??? Additionally, I got caught with my checkbook out.

Larissa West Hometown: Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida Duke Involvement: Senior Class President of the Engineering Student Government, President of the Society of Women Engineers, Officer in Dukes and Duchesses, Engineering/CPS TA, member of Alpha Phi sorority, member of Phi Beta Kappa, Order of Omega, and Tau Beta Pi honor societies.

Majors: Electrical and Computer Engineering

Computer Science

After Duke plans: Summer trip to Eastern Europe, then starting at McKinsey Co. in Atlanta.

Why Duke? Duke has a wealth of resources: in the students, faculty, and alumni. When I came to Duke, I had no idea where I wanted to go after graduation, but 1 knew that Duke would be a great place to jump start anything at all. In fact, I decided 1 wanted to go to Duke when I was 14 years old, and applied only to Duke.

Favorite highlight of your Duke experience: 1 remember one of my first big Dukes and Duchesses dinners, where I was able to meet Bill and Melinda Gates for a celebration of the successful campaign last year, it left a huge impression on me, because it made me realize how amazing Duke is, and it was really inspirational to know even the leaders of the world are Interested in Duke.

Why give $20.05?

It’s an investment in the future value of my diploma. 1 want the school to have the funding to make Duke a place that attracts the world’s top students. After I leave, I hope that Duke will continue to grow and improve in all areas, and hence be able to compete with the leading institutions. The only reason Duke has done so in the past is because alumni before us have given back to the university. Not to mention the little detail that our tuition only covers about half the cost of attending Duke.

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6

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(WEDNESDAY,

THE CHRONICLE

APRIL 13,2005

Duke announces 5 honorary degree recipients by

Dan Englander THE CHRONICLE

The University will award five honorary degrees during its May 15 commencement exercises, President Richard Brodhead announced last week. An honorary degree is given as a decoration rather than as a recognition of studying at an institution.

The recipients will be Nobel laureate Roald Hoffman, environmental advocate John Adams, former President of Ireland Mary Robinson, Chilean President Ricardo Lagos and University of Maryland at Baltimore County President Freeman Hrabowski.

Hoffman received the 1981 Nobel Prize in Chemistry and is the Frank H.T.

Rhodes Professor of Human Letters at Cornell University, where he has taught and conducted research since 1965. He is a widely published writer and has been active in communicating science to nonscientists.

Adams is a graduate of the Duke School of Law. He co-founded the Natural Resources Defense Council, a million-member non-profit organization devoted to protecting natural resources and preserving the environment. He has taught clinical environmental law at New York University’s School ofLaw for 26 years.

Robinson was elected Ireland’s first female president in 1990 and has since placed special emphasis on the needs of developing countries, especially Rwanda

and Somalia. During her presidency, she visited these countries to increase awareness about human rights violations. She became the United Nations’ High Commissioner for Human Rights in 1997.

Robinson is also a professor of the practice of public policy at Columbia University, chair of the Council of Women World Leaders and honorary president of Oxfam International.

Lagos, who will deliver the commencement address, received a Ph.D. in economics from Duke in 1996 and was elected in 2000 to serve a six-year term as Chile’s president. When August© Pinochet came to power after a 1973 coup, in which former head-of-state Salvador Allende was killed, Lagos went into exile and taught at

EMS from page 4

DPU from page 3

emergency medical technicians.

The group is also in the middle of upgrading its medical services to 24-hour, 365-day support. To do this, Residence Life and Housing Services is providing Duke EMS with an apartment on Central Campus beginning in May. Duke EMS will respond to calls this summer, a first for the program. Strauss said Duke is expecting to cover about 100 additional calls.

To expand its service even further, Duke EMS hopes to acquire a used ambulance from Durham County EMS within the next few months. Strauss said about 50 percent of the calls require transport and Duke EMS is unable to deliver patients to a hospital without an ambulance. For these situations, Durham County EMS is called to transport the patient, even if Duke EMS is qualified to help the individual.

Strauss stressed the importance of having an ambulance, noting that Durham EMS charges the students $450 in fees for ambulance use whereas Duke EMS provides all of its services free of charge. He also said patient errors decrease when fewer handoffs among services occur.

“It takes the ambulance a few extra minutes... minutes equal muscle,” Strauss said. “An ambulance would make a big difference.”

McGovern will be the last major speaker this year, but DPU members have already started planning for the fall.

The Union plans to organize events in a variety offormats in order to involve as many students as possible in political activities on campus.

“The mission of the Duke Political Union is to draw the entire Duke community into an appreciation of the importance of local, state and national politics in their lives,” said freshman Adam Zell, a member of DPU. In addition to speeches that will target a larger base of students, the DPU organizes debates within small groups Monday nights. They held a debate on a living wage April 4 and invited members of Students Against Sweatshops. “The primary debate was between two libertarians and Students Against Sweatshops, and it was impossible to reach any type of conclusion that was mutually agreeable,” Zell said. “But there have been constructive arguments on the effects of the living wage on the community.”

$5OO

the University ofNorth Carolina at Chapel Hill. After Chile returned to democratic government in 1990, Lagos served as public works minister and education minister.

Since assuming the presidency he has worked to improve the economy and correct human rights abuses committed under Pinochet.

President of UMBC since 1992, Hrabowski has worked to promote economic development in the Baltimore region. His research focuses on science and math education, and he is especially interested in minority participation and performance in those fields. Recently he received the prestigious McGraw Prize in Education and was named Marylander of the Year by the Baltimore Sun.

DPU members also gathered submissions for the first issue of the “Duke Political Review Journal” that they hope to publish in late April. They expect to include student essays in addition to submissions from interested professors in every issue.

The group is non-partisan, but the co-presidents and members of the DPU have open political views. “If you look at the presidents, one is liberal and the other one is conservative,” Chapin said.

Sophomore Andrew Nowobilski, co-president of DPU, said the Union’s greatest attribute is that it brings partisan views together. “I think that both sides self-segregate and like to preach to the choir,” he said.

Chapin said the group has eight executive members and about 50 e-mail list subscribers, who signed up before attending “Breakfast with Burr.”

Larry Moneta, vice president for student affairs, said he supported the organization right after Jimmy Soni, copresident of DPU, approached him. “It is an absolutely wonderful initiative,” he said. “I’m just a fan of any type of stimulating intellectual discourse.”

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THE CHRONICLE

WEDNESDAY,

APRIL 13,20051 7

In conjunction with its centennial celebration, The Chronicle has published Through

These Doors: 100 Years of The Chronicle,

a 125-page book that examines the history of the Duke community's newspaper from its founding in 1905 through the present. The book features over 100 front pages from past Chronicles and essays from former editors that reveal behind-the-scenes

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8 (WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13,2005

RIAA

THE CHRONICL,E

getting this over with—making it go away,” he said. “For me, that’s not my plan. It’s an opportunity to get people to think and to for once stand up to something that’s ethi-

from page 1

“My plan is to Just go it alone and not hire a lawyer, just to expose the absurdity of the situation and take up whatever punishment they give me,” he said.

Greene believes the RIAA was making an example out of him and using its power and money unfairly. As a college student, Greene said he does not have the resources to assemble a team of lawyers comparable to the RIAA’s.

For Greene, the moral issues at stake overcome practical concerns. Unlike most students, he plans to plead guilty and will not settle out of court because of his personal beliefs.

“I feel like for a lot of people, it’s about

cally questionable.”

His father, Jeff Greene, has been supportive ofhis son’s decisions and believes the RIAA will not follow through with its lawsuits.

“To be honest, I think everything is going to work out,” he said. ‘You’re not going to get $2 or $3 million from an individual. I just think they throw those big numbers out to scare people.”

Recording companies catch students by going onto peer-to-peer networks like Kazaa and downloading music and movies.

This generates a list of IP addresses—unique computer network addresses—for

PROTEST from page 1 weekend performances of the play The Laramie Project play is based on interviews conducted in Laramie, Wyo., shortly after Shepard was murdered in an anti-gay hate crime. It includes a character who portrays Phelps.

The group also plans to protest at seven Durham churches, including St. Paul Lutheran Church, Aldersgate United Methodist Church, First Presbyterian Church, First Baptist Church, St. Luke’s Episcopal Church, Our Savior Lutheran Church and Immaculate Conception Catholic Church.

Phelps-Roper said a lawyer from their office sent a letter April 1 to Duke University Police Department Chief Clarence Birkhead notifying him of their plans to protest.

Birkhead and DUPD were not aware of the group’s intentions, said Leanora Minai, senior public relations specialist for DUPD. Any picketing or protesting direcdy on campus has to be approved by the University administration, she added.

“If it’s sanctioned it has to go through the University channels, in terms of getting sanctioned permission,” at the Durham School of the Arts. The

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users who are sharing the file.

“The way the law currently works is that the recording industry has to file a John Doe lawsuit,” said Christopher Cramer, Duke’s information technology security officer. “Once that lawsuit is filed, the first thing they are going to do is ask the judge for a subpoena to find out who is the John Doe and what Internet service provider owns that IP address.”

Greene claimed that this process “borders on fascism.” “[The RIAA is] reducing my identity to my IP address,” he said.

Peter Lasch, one of Greene’s professors, said students need to obey the law, but punishing randomly selected individuals is unfair.

“I don’t believe that lawsuits and pun-

she said. “We need to know a little more but we’re going to monitor the situation... this is the first we’ve heard about it. Like any special event, we will do what is

appropriate.”

When questioned about the group’s use of the term fag, Phelps-Roper said it was not offensive.

“They are not gay. So we’re not going to call them gay.

Fag is really kind of eloquent Bible metaphor,” she said.

“Natural wood faggots fuel nature’s fire, just like these Sodomites, or fags, fuel the wrath of God—they fuel the fires of Hell.”

Phelps-Roper said the acceptance of homosexuality is a major problem for young people.

“This filthy manner of life, if our nation makes it an innocent alternate lifestyle, we are a doomed nation,” she said. “Thank God for 9/11, thank God for the tsunami, thank God for [Hurricane] Ivan, thank God for [Hurricane] Charley.”

Groups under Phelps’ guidance have picketed at sites across the country, including other schools such as Brown University and Ohio State University, but they have also failed to show at other locations where they had planned protests.

Either way, AQUADuke President Brian West said his

ishment and unilateral discipline is the right approach for an issue that is not just at universities,” said Lasch, a visiting assistant professor of the practice of art and art history.

A more positive remedy, Lasch said,

could involve discussion opportunities about the ongoing struggle to define intellectual property rights. “As places ofknowledge, discussion and debate, we have a special responsibility,” he said.

Moneta noted that the University has already taken preventative measures, e-mailing students at the beginning of the year with warnings of the potential repercussions of illegal file-sharing.

In spite of the circumstances, Greene is fairly upbeat about his future. “Worst case, I’ll declare bankruptcy,” he said.

organization was going to coordinate a counter-protest with other campus and local groups to plan a “widerange response.”

“I’ve already received a lot of e-mails both from ministers and the local community showing solidarity with the Gay Straight Alliance at DSA and here,” he said. “[The picketing] fosters a culture of hate and essentially I think that if students are uncomfortable at Duke it only makes it more uncomfortable for them.

I think that Rev. Phelps crosses the line in a lot of ways. It’s not just he’s expressing a political view, he’s actually in some ways making an implicit threat that not only do [lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people] not have a right to exist, essentially if they die that’s a di-

vinely good thing.”

West added that the date of the scheduled protesting, during Friday of exam week, made it an “especially terrible time,” but added that any sort of response would still be strong.

“We will be there when he comes,” he said. “We’re going to try to avoid being, in general, very aggressive or sort of violent in our protesting. It’s more about showing solidarity, trying to express our viewpoint that hate is not okay.”

NOTICE OF A CITIZENS INFORMATIONAL WORKSHOP FOR THE PROPOSED WIDENING OF SR 1321 (HILLANDALE ROAD), 1-85 TO NORTH OF SR 1407 (CARVER AVENUE) WBS No. 34972.1.1

U-3804

Durham County

The North Carolina Department of Transportation (NCDOT) will hold the above Citizens Informational Workshop on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 between the hours of 4:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. in the Cafeteria of Durham County Public Schools Staff Development Center located at 2107 Hillandale Road in Durham, NC. The purpose of this workshop is for NCDOT representatives to provide information, answer questions, and accept written comments regarding this project. NCDOT proposes improvements to widen Hillandale Road from 1-85 to north of Carver Avenue.

Anyone desiring additional information may contact Ryan White, 1548 Mail Service Center, Raleigh, NC 27699-1548, by phone at (919) 733-7844 ext. 245, fax at (919) 733-9794, or E-mail at rlwhite@dot.state.nc.us NCDOT will provide auxiliary aids and services for disabled persons who wish to participate in this workshop to comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act. To receive special services, please contact Mr. White as early as possible so that arrangements can be made.

THE CHRONICLE

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13,20051

Tan said Since her mother regularly decided that the family should move, Tan attended 12 different schools before going to university. This gave her a profound experience of loneliness, which she described as a common theme in fiction.

Tan said that writing, including her own, often centers on an “alienated narrator—the person who does not fit into that society—who is finding their way and who feels very alone.”

During her adolescence, Tan recounted in great detail, she endured the death of her father, a move to Switzerland and a failed relationship that ended in a drug bust.

With a touch of irony, Tan noted that she went to college on an American Baptist

PLOT

from page 2

Monetary Fund and World Bank in Washington, including video surveillance in Manhattan around April 2001.

U.S. officials have previously described detailed surveillance photos and documents, which they believe came from Barot, that were found on the computer in Pakistan. Comey declined to provide any specifics.

Although they allegedly were doing their surveillance

at

the same time the

Sept. 11 hijackers were making their final preparations, nothing in the indictment links this group to the hijackers.

The indictment does not allege any specific actions by the men in the United States or elsewhere after April 2001, though Comey said their plotting continued. “This conspiracy was alive and kick-

good morals.”

To conclude her talk, Tan read aloud the first page of The Joy Luck Club, which she said was actually the part of the book she wrote last. Afterwards, she took questions on topics both professional and personal.

In response to an inquiry about her next book, Tan announced that she had just completed Saving Fish from Drowning, which she summarized as a story about people who disappear while on tour in Myanmar. She said she sent the first half to her editor Monday.

“It is both the funniest book I’ve written and, I think, the most serious,” Tan said.

Tan also discussed her battle with Lyme disease. She urged sufferers to seek out a specialist in the illness, which caused lesions on her brain after going undiagnosed for four years. ing until August 2004,” he said.

The George W. Bush administration authorities said the decision to raise the risk of a terrorist attack to “high” for those specific financial institutions was based on an abundance of caution and because of al Qaeda’s history of lengthy planning and plotting.

The move, coming in the midst of a tight presidential election, drew criticism from Democrats, who claimed it was aimed at boosting Bush’s re-election effort.

“Politics had nothing to do with it. You have my word on it,” Comey said Tuesday.

The threat level was lowered to yellow for the buildings after the November election.

Barot is charged in England with possessing reconnaissance plans for the U.S. financial institutions and notebooks containing information on explosives, poisons, chemicals and related matters “of a kind likely to be useful to a person committing or preparing an act of terrorism.”

“I

want to

prevent people from going

through the devastation that so many people have gone through,” Tan said.

Students in attendance were entertained and impressed by Tan’s address.

“She reaffirmed my drive to do unconventional things in the future because she chose the path less taken,” said John Park, a junior.

Sophomore Joan Lim was also inspired.

“I felt like I could identify with her in many ways,” she said.

Duke University Union Major Speakers sponsored the event, the last of its yearlong series, along with the Asian Students Association and the Baldwin Scholars.

“One of the visions that I had this year for Major Speakers was to bring in more diverse speakers,” said junior Tammy Tieu, outgoing chair of the Major Speakers committee. “I think it’s definitely been a success.”

LAURA BETH DOUGLAS/THE CHRONICLE

Tan says she realized the extent of her fame when shefound Cliff's Notes ofher book The JoyLuck Club.

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Scholarship awarded for “good grades and

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9

05-1127

THE CHRONICLE

101WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13, 2005

FLU

from page 2

was an act of bioterrorism.

“It wouldn’t be a smart way to start a pandemic to send it to laboratories because we have people well trained in biocontainment,” she said.

The concern over the shipment of pandemic flu virus to thousands labs renews questions about the safe handling of deadly germs—an issue that led to toughened U.S. rules after anthrax was sent in the mail in 2001, killing five Americans.

Most of the flu samples —3,747—were sent stardng last year at the request of the College of American Pathologists, which helps labs do proficiency testing. The last shipments were sent out in February.

Dr. Jared Schwartz, an official with the pathology college, said a private company, Meridian Bioscience Inc. of Cincinnati, Ohio, is paid to prepare the samples. The firm was told to pick an influenza A sample and chose from its stockpile the deadly 1957 H2N2 strain.

Stohr said U.S. health officials also reported to the WHO that some other test kit providers besides the college used the 1957 pandemic strain in samples sent to labs in the United States. Schwartz identified them as Medical Lab Evaluators, the American Association of Bioanalysts and the American Association of Family Practitioners.

Almost 99 percent of the labs that got the test kits are in the United States, Stohr said. Fourteen were in Canada and 61 samples went to labs in 16 other countries in Europe, Asia, the Middle East and South America, according to the WHO. Some of the labs outside the United States have already destroyed their samples, he said, and WHO is hoping that the rest of the vials will be destroyed by Friday. The health agency wouldn't name the other countries whose labs received the samples.

The test kits are used for internal quality control checks to demonstrate that a lab is able to correctly identify viruses or as away for labs to get certified by the College ofAmerican Pathologists.

The kits involve blind samples. The lab then has to correctly identify the pathogen in the vial in order to pass the test. Usually, the influenza virus included

jiyVgri

I

wilpm

SAM KITTNER/ZUMA

in these kits is one that is currently circuat least one that has recendy been in circulation.

On March 26, National Microbial Laboratory Canada detected the 1957 pandemic strain in a sample not connected with the test kit. After informing WHO and the CDC of the strange finding, the lab investigated. It informed the U.N. health agency on Friday that it had traced the virus to the test kit.

The WHO then notified the health authorities in all countries that received the kits and recommended that all the sam-

lating, or

pies be destroyed immediately.

That same day, the College ofAmerican Pathologists faxed the labs asking them to immediately incinerate the samples and to confirm in writing that the operation had been completed.

Stohr said the test kits are not the only supplies of the 1957 pandemic strain sitting in laboratories around the world.

“The world really has to think what routine labs should be doing with these samples they have kept in the back of their fridges,” Storh said.

Viruses are classed according to the

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level oflab safety precautions that must be taken when handling them. Routine viruses can be handled in labs with a basic level of biosafety protection. However, very dangerous viruses, such as Ebola, can only be handled at labs with top-level safety measures. Those labs have a biosafety level of 4.

The 1957 flu virus has for years been a level 2 virus, but many countries have upgraded it to a biosafety level of 3 because so many people have no immunity to it.

Stohr said U.S. officials reviewing the classification and are expected to increase it to a level 3 later this summer.

April 13, 2005 SERVE IT UP

THE BLUE DEVILS TAKE ON THEIR RIVALS IN CHAPEL KILL TODAY PAGE 12

A

HEADING TO THE DRAFT?

4

Rashad McCants has scheduled a press conference for 2 p.m. today, and other UNC players may follow suit next week.

2

COIA aims

gregory

%A beaton

to improve

A plea for Williams

athletes’ experiences

to return

by

Andrew Yaffe

THE CHRONICLE

For Duke basketball fans, there’s a lot to be optimistic about right now after the performances of Josh Mcßoberts and Greg Paulus in the McDonald’s All-American game. If Shelden Williams comes back, Duke will be the favorite to cut down the nets in Indianapolis next April.

Unfortunately, that “if’ is huge as Williamsconsiders declaring for the June 28 NBA draft.

Much has been made of how weak this year’s draft crop is. The analysts who are bemoaning the lack of talent from the high school and international pools are mosdy on target.

It is pretty clear, no matter the degree of weakness, that there will be more opportunities this year than in recent memory for college players to be plucked off the draft board before David Stem turns the show over to the deputy commissioner.

Some might say that the dearth of potential should be viewed as an opportunity for college veterans such as Williams and UNO’s Sean May to bolt their respective programs this spring.

I have a different message for Williams,

though: Shelden, it would be a huge mistake

>

to

leave. The final stretch of this past season, beginning with the away UNC game SEE WILLIAMS ON PAGE 16

COURTESY OF

MYLIFEMYCARD.COM

Mike Krzyzewski's appearance in an American Express commercial has stirred up some controversy.

Coach K commercials draw mixed reactions by

Michael Moore THE CHRONICLE

If Mike Krzyzewski keeps it up, he could be known as Coach K-ommercial.

Krzyzewski has generated some controversy with his recent slew of appearances in television commercials, especially his starring role in an American Express advertisement. Though the Duke coach has appeared in several ads before and is not breaking any rules with his cameos, the timing and content of the American Express spot has raised some eyebrows.

Critics say the ad, throughout which Krzyzewski is the only speaker, seems

more like a pitch for the Duke program than for any credit card. In addition, because it ran during the national recruiting quiet period—a seven-day time frame in which coaches may not talk to recruits—many have claimed it gives Duke an unfair recruiting edge.

“The first time I saw it, I’ll be honest, I thought: Was it a Duke commercial or a Mike Krzyzewski commercial?” Illinois head coach Bruce Weber said at the Final Four. “It could start a trend where everybody buys a commercial.”

In the ad, Krzyzewski says, “When

Duke’s athletic program ranks among the elite both on the field and in the classroom, and now members of the athletic administration are taking an active role in a national committee aimed at improving faculty interaction with student-athletes.

Formed in 2002, the Coalition on Intercollegiate Athletics is a group comprised of faculty representadves from more than 40 colleges and universities nationwide. Its stated primary goal is to find methods for faculty to strengthen intercollegiate sports, both academically and athledcally.

“The basic position of the COLA is that because athledcs exist within universities, faculty in general have to take a greater concern and have a greater participation in athledcs,” said Kathleen Smith, Duke’s faculty athletic representative and its member on the steering committee.

Because of the nature of Duke’s academic requirements, Smith said she recognizes that the committee’s work does not direcdy impact the University.

“There’s a difference between a school that graduates 92 percent of its athletes and a school that graduates 50 percent of its athletes,” Smith said.

The main issues on COIA’s agenda are governance, finance and worries about academic intrusion. The coalition passed a resolution at its most recent meeting April 1 addressing five topics—admissions, scholarships, curricular integrity, the scheduling of competitions and academic advising. The resolution emphasized that schools should examine

SEE COACH K ON PAGE 13 SEE COIA ON PAGE 16

WOMEN'S TENNIS

Blue Devils try to rebound from loss by

Will Waggenspack THE CHRONICLE

Shelden Williams' 15.3points and 11 2 rebounds may not be good enough to land him in the NBA lottery.

Over the 16th-ranked Blue Devils’ last seven matches, a stretch in which they have gone 3-4, there has been a definite lack of intensity.

That should not be an issue Wednesday.

Duke (13-7, 4-3 in the ACC) will meet archrival North Carolina (18-6, 61) for its annual showdown tonight at 6 p.m. And although the match has regular-season ACC title implications for No. 13 UNC, there may be more at stake for the Blue Devils at the Cone-Kenfield Tennis Center.

Coming off Sunday’s 4-3 loss to unranked Maryland, head coach Jamie Ashworth’s injury-plagued team desperately

needs a quality performance to start rebuilding the confidence that it maintained throughout January and February.

Although the Blue Devils hold the overall series advantage 34-26 and have not lost to the Tar Heels since 2002, the dynamic of Wednesday’s match will be much different from last year’s 7-0 shutout because so much is riding on the outcome.

“We’re both still playing for a lot,” Ashworth said. “We’re playing for position in the ACC tournament, which is huge because of the expansion and the chance for an extra day off.”

Winning will be more difficult for Duke without two of its top three singles SEE W. TENNIS ON PAGE 14

TIAN QINZHENG/THE CHRONICLE

With the Blue Devils'first and third singles players out with injuries, seniorSaras Arasu will need to step up.

THE CHRONICLE

12IWEDNESDAY, APRIL 13, 2(K)5

Tar Heels quiet about NBA at banquet Doubles MEN'S TENNIS

by

Aaron Beard

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

CHAPEL HILL

point key to Blue Devil

North Carolina’s

possible postseason purge appears ready to begin.

The school called a news conference for Wednesday afternoon to announce the plans ofjunior Rashad McCants, who is expected to enter the NBA draft after helping the Tar Heels win their fourth national championship.

Three other Tar Heels—juniors Sean May and Raymond Felton, and freshman Marvin Williams—were mum when asked Tuesday night whether they will return to help the team defend its NCAA title.

After the team held its annual postseason awards ceremony, Felton said he had made a decision but was not ready to announce it. Williams said he was leaning one way, while May —the Most Outstanding Player of the Final Four who has said he plans to stay to school—would not commit to returning for his senior year.

Last week, head coach Roy Williams said he expected McCants to head for the NBA. If all four underclassmen leave along with seniors Jawad Williams, Jackie Manuel and Melvin Scott, the Tar Heels will lose their top seven scorers from this season’s team.

Players who want to enter the NBA draft early must file by May 14. The draft isjune 28.

Felton, the speedy point guard who averaged 13 points per game, said he and his parents met with coach Williams

success by

It may be just a short drive down 15501 to Chapel Hill, but today’s trip to UNC will mark an important homecoming for junior Jonathan Stokke and the men’s tennis team.

No. 5 Duke hopes to spoil North Carolina’s home finale in an ACC matchup at the Cone-KenfieldTennis CenterWednesday. Stokke, Duke’s No. 2 singles player, is from Chapel Hill but said that diminishes rather than builds the hostility.

“It actually almost takes away from the rivalry,” Stokke said. “I love both of their coaches and I used to hit with them and a lot of the players.”

If the Blue Devils (16-3, 6-1 in the ACC) perform like they have all season, the Tar Heels (14-7, 4-4) will be no match for them. Duke’s only losses have come against top-five opponents Baylor, Virginia and Illinois.

Duke has dominated North Carolina lately, winning the last eight regular-season meetings. The Tar Heels, however, still hold the series advantage 73-28, and Stokke’s hometown foes will be revved up to beat the Blue Devils.

“This is the matchup they circle on their calendars,” Stokke said. “They usually play their best match every year against us.”

The doubles point will be crucial Wednesday, as the Tar Heels are 1-7 when losing in doubles. This bodes well for

Tuesday.

Though Williams said he would spend the next seven to 10 days gathering information on the players’ draft prospects, Felton said he had made a decision and would reveal it “probably next week.”

“It was difficult, but I think it’s what’s best for me,” Felton said. “It’s something I wanted.”

Marvin Williams, a 6-foot-9 reserve who averaged 11 points, was mentioned as an NBA draft prospect coming out of high school. He said he plans to meet with his coach Wednesday night.

At the banquet, Felton and May were named co-MVPs of this year’s squad.

Michael Moore THE CHRONICLE

TOM MENDEL/THE CHRONICLE

Raymond Felton said he has made his decision regarding the NBA draftand will likely announce it next week.

BIG FREAK!

SEE M. TENNIS ON PAGE 14

SAVINGS!

THE CHRONICLE

COACH K from page 11 out into the workplace, they’re not just a jump shot or a dribwant you armedfor life. I want you to

they get

armed with

ble. I develop as a player. I want you to develop as a student. And I want you to develop as a human being.”

Critics have said this is basically a recruiting pitch to parents, but Krzyzewski defended the commercial on the JamesBrown Show on Sporting News Radio April 4.

“I’m not going to apologize for that,” Krzyzewski said. “It’s done in great taste. If someone thinks that’s a recruiting advantage or that’s why it was done, I feel bad for them. I’m proud ofit.”

Whether or not the commercial served as a recruiting tool, Krzyzewski’s involvement does not commit any NCAA violations. Though players are not allowed to appear in any advertisements for commercial products, companies can use coaches and college facilities—such as Cameron Indoor Stadium, which is used in the American Express ad—to promote their products.

“There is no rule that prevents it,” NCAA President Myles Brand said at the Final Four. “Even if we had rules, they might be illegal under antitrust issues. As long as coaches do it in away that speaks well about the values of intercollegiate athletics, I’m not uncomfortable with it.”

The commercial is part of the “My Life, My Card” series, which has also featured Ellen DeGeneres, Tiger Woods, Robert DeNiro and Laird Hamilton. American Express spokesperson Rosa Alfonso said the commercial was not a pitch for Duke, but rather that the University is a central part of Krzyzewski’s story.

“It’s the reflection of his life and the story he has to tell, as with all the individu-

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13,2005113

als we feature,” Alfonso said of the commercial. The reality is that he is an inspiration to many people and he affects a lot of people personally off the court.”

Krzyzewski’s other acting work has created much less buzz than the American Express spot. He appears in a Chevrolet advertisement for only a brief second, and his role in an Allstate commercial has generated more laughs than controversy. In the latter, he jumps out from behind a fence to celebrate a driveway reenactment of Christian Laettner’s famous buzzer-beater during the 1992 NCAA regional final.

Still, many have questioned his reasons for appearing in such a high number of commercials when he has not historically taken part in many ads. Krzyzewski cited funding his charitable efforts as the main reason for his involvement, including the donation American Express made to the Emily Krzyzewski Family LIFE Center for his involvement.

“In order to fulfill the goals that I have here... endowing the program, with the community goals of building a family life center, with the University goals of continuing to find cures for children’s diseases, with the V Foundation, with helping to be on that team, which is hopefully going to beat cancer, you need to use your notoriety right,” Krzyzewski said.

“I’m not going to be coaching that much longer or be in the public eye that much longer, and so I want to make sure that these things that I’m involved with are well grounded.”

Despite the fact that Krzyzewski has created controversy, at least one of his players was impressed with his coach’s acting abilities.

“I think he does a tremendous acting job, and after his time at Duke here is done, he’ll probably head to Hollywood, not for the Lakers, but for the movies,” juniorLee Melchionni joked.

Mike "Coach K"

?

*

AN AMERICAN EXPRESS8 CARD MEANS A LOT.

IT GIVES YOU A... rrv sense of

SECURITY ~.

THAIS

lriinPW

TREMENDOUS.

COURTESY OF MYLIFEMYCARD.COM

American Express launched an interactive website for its current ad campaignfeaturing Mike Krzyzewski.

14IWEDNESDAY, APRIL 13,

THE CHRONICLE

2005

W. TENNIS from page,, players. Katie Blaszak and Jennifer Zika will miss the match because of back and wrist problems, respectively.

Duke’s schedule, however, gets no easier—its remaining matches come against No. 8 Georgia Tech and No. 14 Clemson. A strong showing Wednesday is key to building momentum heading into the conference championships for the Blue Devils.

“This is it before the ACC Tournament. We have three tough matches in five days, but we’ve been through this before,” Ashworth said. “If we win three matches, it would be great for our team. It would be great for our morale.”

Duke faces a Tar Heel team on a six-match winning streak, including a 7-0 sweep of Maryland Saturday, which it followed with a 6-1 pounding of Virginia. North Carolina also holds the third spot in the ACC and needs to win out to have a shot at the conference title, giving it added incentive to take down its rival.

The Blue Devils will suffer without their injured play-

ers during both the singles and doubles portions of the match. Besides solely personnel losses, the lack of a consistent roster has made doubles teamwork difficult for the Duke players.

“We haven’t been able to work with doubles teams and combinationsbecause we’ve had to keep switching things around because of injury,” Ashworth said.

Duke’s makeshift duos, which have dropped the doubles point in three of the last four matches, will face off against two of the top-25 doubles teams in the nation.

The Blue Devils will be disadvantaged in singles play as well. Duke’s only active top-125 player, No. 11l Jackie Carleton will meet one of UNO’s two senior All-Americans, ranked 22nd and 31st. That leaves the bottom half of the Duke lineup to deal with the Tar Heels’ second All-American and the rest of North Carolina’s squad.

The winner of Wednesday’s match will also receive another point in the race for the Carlyle Cup, which UNC currendy leads 11.5-6.5. A Tar Heel victory would put North Carolina within a point of claiming the cup for the second dme in five years.

WEIYITANATHE CHRONICLE

JuniorLudovic Walter will try to avoid his first-ever back-to-back ACC singles losses when Duke faces NorthCarolina in Chapel Hill today.

M.TENNIS from page 12

ninthst.mailshoppe@verizon.net

Duke, which boasts two doubles pairs that have jumped into the national top 50. The pair ofjunior Ludovic Walter and senior Jason Zimmermann is currently ranked No. 43, and Stokke and sophomore Peter Rodrigues hold the No. 48 spot.

The top singles matchup will feature Duke’s Walter, ranked third nationally, trying to prevent back-to-back ACC individual losses for the first time in his career. With a win, Walter will move into a tie for eighth-place all-time for singles victories at Duke. At his current pace, the junior will likely break the all-time Blue Devil record of 119 individual wins.

North Carolina junior Raian Luchici, who is coming off back-to-back losses, will be trying to pull off the Upset.

Luchici has moved up from the No. 4 spot last year to the Tar Heels’ top singles position this season.

With Duke’s loss to No. 3 Virginia Friday, the Cavaliers have nearly clinched the ACC regular-season crown. The Blue Devils currently lead the race for second place by one game with home matchups against Wake Forest and Virginia Tech following the North Carolina matchup. Duke must win one of the next three games to guarantee a bye in the first round of the ACC Championships.

Duke University Union Major Attractions and OnStage Committees Present: -

Bela Fleck with The Acoustic Trio

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Care for a bright, fun-loving two-year old on a flexible schedule, mostly weekday mornings and some evenings (15-20 hours/week). Starts May 10.

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Tuxedos Student special. Own a designer tux for $BO. Includes coat, pants, shirt, tie, vest, studs and cufflinks. Formal Wear Outlet.

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CAMP COUNSELORS; Private Day Camp located on 100 acres of scenic countryside in northern Durham Co. is looking for counselors to teach Arts and Crafts, Swimming(WSl), nature and Drama. Camp will provide additional training if necessary. Must be available Jun 6-Aug 5. Call 919-7322274 or email info@campriverlea.com

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CHRONICLE BUSINESS OFFICE: Needed, two business Assistants to work approx 20 hrs per week during the summer and 10-12 hrs per week in the fall. To perform general office duties, data entry, filing, customer service & deposits. Must be Duke Undergraduate. Work Study required. Can start immediately approx 6 hrs per week for training.

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Towork in Duke Chapel Sundays in Summer; hours 8:00am-5:00pm. Interested? Contact Jackie Andrews- 684-2032.

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New rowing coach needed. Beginning August 2005. Raleigh high school club (26 athletes). Some compensation available. Email list of rowing experience/contact information: susanl@pbclarchitecture.com or call 836-9751,605-9153

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Duke Infant Cognition Lab. Full Time psychology research assistant needed. Supervise research, data analysis, subject recruitment. Start: May. BA/BS required. $24,000 28,000/year. email

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Durham Academy is seeking a facilities director. Individual will have responsibility for supervisor of maintenance, grounds, and skilled trades.

General office duties 5 hrs/wk for psychology research business. Near 9th street. May through August. $7/hr.

Contact Virginia Williams at 286-4566.

FULL-TIME RESEARCH POSITION. Duke Psychology Lab seeks Lab Manager to start June 20, 2005. Lab focus is on human memory. Duties will include scheduling and testing human subjects, preparation of experimental materials, data input and analysis, library research, and general lab management tasks. Applicants with prior research experience in psychology are especially encouraged to apply; fluency with computers is required. This is a full-time position with benefits. To apply, send resume and reference information to Dr. Elizabeth Marsh at

Would you like to add award-winning to your resume? Work for The Chronicle Advertising department.

We are an award-winning publication looking to fill sales representative positions. Duke Work-Study students only. Call Nalini at 6843811 or stop by for an application at 101 West Union Building (directly across from the Duke Card

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Summer Research Opportunity Students interested in doing summer reseach at Duke. Laboratory research in molecular basics of neurodygenerative disease. Please send resume to

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Announcements

WEDNESDAY. APRIL 13, 2005115

The Chronicle The Duke Community s Daily Newspaper

Classified Advertising works for you. And that’s no bull.

161 WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13, 2005

THE CHRONICL ,E

WILLIAMS from page 11

COIA from page 11

March 6, proved that your game is not yet

whether student-athletes are provided advantages through lower admissions standards and academic requirements.

It also highlighted the need for schools to correct problems regarding a studentathlete’s time management. In some of its harshest language, the resolutions executive summary states that, “In no way does a school more clearly signal an inappropriate prioritization of athletics over academics, than when it sends the message that training or competitions take priority over class attendance and coursework.”

Beyond this single document, COIA sees its role as a lobbying group to advise university presidents. The coalition hopes to bring national awareness to issues and affect universities’ administrative control over athletics.

“Rather than an isolated voice,” Smith explained, “there is a unified voice. Together we can influence university presidents.”

NCAA President Myles Brand praised COLA for its efforts and championed its cause in a Feb. 14 statement.

“COLA members deserve credit for having researched and consulted widely about intercollegiate athletics, and these serious proposals aimed at improving the academic integrity in college sports are indicative of that effort,” Brand said. “I am confident that through efforts such as the one being undertaken by the COLA, the integrity of the academic-reform movement will be secure.”

Smith said the NCAA has gotten even more involved, considering COLA as a serious resource. She noted that several COLA members have been invited to meetings with Brand and other NCAA representatives.

ready for the pros.

Against the Tar Heels, you were manhandled by May. He had 26 points to your 22 and had 24 rebounds when you only had four. You may have been more efficient from the field, but I think it was pretty clear who the better big man was that afternoon. The Tar Heels ran their game through May, who deftly found teammates when Duke double-teamed him. You, on the other hand, looked lost when weakside defenders came to help out.

Your output in the tournament was respectable but left something to be desired.

Fourteen points and 11 rebounds against Delaware State is good, but not the type of performance an NBA lottery pick would put forth. Against Mississippi State and Michigan State you had strong first halves but disappeared down the stretch when the team was in trouble. You had just six second-half points against the Spartans and fouled out with 2:41 left after a tough matchup with Paul Davis.

Overall you had a solid season. You averaged 15.3 points and 11.2 rebounds per game. Playing in the ACC, those are the numbers of a future NBA player.

Your defensive play was indicative of a future NBA standout. The 122 blocks you racked up this season were more than impressive, especially considering how many of them came on the man you were supposed to be guarding, rather than coming from the weak side like most big men do for the majority of their rejections. You were well deserving of the NABC National Defensive Player of the Year award, and were invaluable to the success of the Blue Devils’ defense this year.

But the question for you is, do you want

DAN

RYAN/THE CHRONICLE

Shelden Williams' rebounding and shot-blocking skills would likely translate well to the NBA level. to be

PJ.

Brown or Elton Brand? Charles

Oakley or Carlos Boozer? If you leave now, there’s a good chance you’ll never devel-

op the offensive confidence necessary to be a star on the next level. If you stay, you’ll have a chance to become the complete player you deserve to be.

So I say, stay here and work on your game. Work on your jump shot. An improved jump shot, even if it were only from 12 or 15 feet, will extend the defense and allow you to move more around the floor.

Stay and work on your footwork and post moves. Right now, you are plagued by a bit of Derek Zoolander disease—you can’t spin both ways. I can’t even remember how many times I wanted to scream

The 3rd Annual Beverley A. and Clarence J. Chandran Distinguished Lecture Series

Biomedical imaging in the genomic era: Opportunities and Challenges

this year when you spun into the double team, instead of toward the open basket.

Passing is important for a big man in the NBA, and you did not exhibit great vision this season. You’d also be wise to continue working on those drop-step and up-andunder moves you employed from time to time this year.

Next year’s team will be special if you come back—perhaps a chance at a national title could whet your appetite to return.

And if you’re worried about not having enough bodies to bang in practice, rest assured that Mcßoberts and Eric Boateng are ready for the challenge.

So in the words of Billy Madison: don’t be a fool Shelden, stay in school.

Duke University’s Muslim Students Association Presents:

King Li, M.D. Chair, The Imaging Sciences Training Program The National Institutes of Health

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:00 p.m.

Schiciano Auditorium, Side B The Fitzpatrick Center

Tsunami Relief Fundraiser

Pratt School of Engineering Duke University

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 7:30 PM 9:30 PM -

Dr. Li’s diverse research interests include the development of novel site and disease-specific drug delivery systems. He holds multiple patents on novel drug delivery systems and on combining imaging with genomics and proteomics for developing new molecular targets and personalizing treatments. He has been a principal and co-investigator on numerous grants funded through institutional, industrial and federal sources. Dr. Li is a prolific writer and has published more than 65 scientific articles, five book chapters and 15 review articles. He is also a reviewer of scientific manuscripts for five journals and sits on the editorial board of a new journal on molecular imaging.

He was born in Hong Kong and immigrated to Canada in 1974. He earned his M.D. in 1981 from the University of Toronto, Canada where he also did a residency in radiology and served as chief resident.

Subsequently, Dr. Li completed an MRI fellowship at the University of Michigan and in 1987, became the co-director of MRI at the University of Florida. In 1990 he was director of body MRI at St. Joseph’s Hospital and Barrows Neurological Institute in Phoenix, Arizona and from 1991 to 1997 was at Stanford University.

Von Canon Room, Bryan Center

$5 Entrance Fee

will be Served* (Courtesy ofSitar Restaurant)

with

Ahmed Shama Islamic Relief USA Burbank, CA All contributions will be donated to Islamic Relief LISA for their tsunami relief efforts

THE CHRONICLE

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13,2005 |l7

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38 Jogging pace

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SCAK TO CONVINCE GULLIBLE INTERNS TO BUY

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“Jerry Maguire"

33 34 36 37 42 43 44 45 46

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Speakers we’d like to see on campus: Jon Stewart:....

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Monica Franklin, Dawn Hall Account Representatives: Advertising Representatives:. .Carly Baker, Evelyn Chang Erin Richardson, Janine Talley Classifieds Representatives: ...Tiffany Swift, Charlie Wain Kristin Jackson National Advertising Coordinator: Lauren Lind, Jenny Wang Account Assistants: Creative Services: Meagan Bridges, Andrea Galambos Erica Harper, Elena Liotta, Alicia Rondon, Willy Wu, Susan Zhu Roily Miller Online Archivist: Business Assistants: Shereen Arthur, Rhonda Lewis Ashley Rudisill, Melanie Shaw

Congratulate Your Graduate ■U

QOi

Parents: Don’t miss out on your opportunity congratulate your Duke graduate in The Chronicle’s yearly graduation issue. to

If you haven’t received your advertising materials, call The Chronicle advertising office to have it emailed or faxed to you.

TODAY Deadline Graduation Issue May 13 •

“MY BABY’S GRADUATING” JASON SMITH You’re the best

son, and we’re so proud of you.

Love, Mom & Dad

•

■

The Chronicle

•

Advertising Department

*

101 W Union Bldg

•

919-684-3811

18IWEDNESDAY,APRIL

13, 2005

THE CHRONICL.E

The Chronicle The Independent Daily

at

Duke University

Website a valuable resource

President

Richard Brodhead dents to find information about proand Dean Robert Thompson’s grams and opportunities that would latest project—a website listing help them accomplish this “translational knowledge.” community and research service opAs a result, only students who portunities available to Duke students—will be a were extremely ambii � xx j** Sv3TfGClltOri3l tious, valuable resource or simply for the University. lucky, found out about certain service and research Since taking the helm of the University last summer, Brodhead has opportunities offered to all undergraduates. repeatedly emphasized the imporThe advent of this website will tant of undergraduate involvement make it easier for students to stay inin both research and the communiformed about what is out there, and ty. In his March 22 address to undergraduates, he discussed at it will be less time consuming than length the need for students to take trying to track down opportunities their classroom academic experiindividually.

The website is the first step in inences and find real-world applications for them. creasing the number of students who Until now, however, there has become involved in community servbeen no centralized place for stuice or undergraduate research.

•

Residential

Life and Housing Services should create a student advisory board to communicate with residence coordinators, as per a Campus Council recommendation last week.

Currently students can give feedback to their resident advisers and RAs can review the RCs, but there is no mechanism by which students can communicate with RCs in an official capacity. As a result, many students see RCs merely as disciplinary figures—a notion that RLHS should work to change.

Student advisory committees would benefit both students and RCs. It would provide an outlet for students to voice their concerns about residential life and at the same time allow the students to better under-

stand the role the RCs play in their residential experiences.

These committees would be particularly helpful in delineating disciplinary policies and procedures—an area which has been plagued by a lack of communication.

Since RCs and students are suppose to be part of the same residential system, they should have adequate communication in order to provide a safe and satisfying residential experience.

These committees are especially important because in the past RLHS has done things without proper student input or feedback. This trend should be changed, and RLHS can begin by instituting a student advisory committee and increasing communication between students and RCs.

ontherecord Worst I'll case,

for

the rest

declare bankruptcy and they'll garnish my wages of my life.

—junior Jordan Greene, on the $3 million lawsuit from the Recording Industry Association of America he is facing. See story, page I.

E St. 1905

The Chronicle

i™. 1993

KAREN HAUPTMAN,Editor KELLY ROHRS, Managing Editor MATT SULLIVAN, Managing Editor TRACYREINKER, Editorial Page Editor JAKE POSES, Sports Editor JONATHAN ANGIER, General Manager SEYWARD DARBY, University Editor PETER GEBHARD, Photography Editor EMILY ALMAS, Projects Editor JON SCHNAARS,Recess Editor MIKE COREY, TowerVlew Editor WHITNEY ROBINSON, TowerVlew Editor MEG CARROLL, Senior Editor CHRISTINA NG, SeniorEditor CINDY YEE, SeniorEditor YOAV LURIE, Recess Senior Editor KATIE XIAO, Sr. Assoc. Features Editor BARBARA STARBUCK, Production Manager YU-HSIEN HUANG, Supplements Coordinator

STEVE VERES, Health & Science Editor DAVIS WARD, City & State Editor MIKE VAN PELT, Sports Managing Editor VARUN LELLA, Recess Photography Editor MOLLY NICHOLSON, TowerVlew Editor EMILY ROTBERG, Wire Editor ANDREW COLLINS, SeniorEditor MALAVIKA PRABHU, SeniorEditor HILARY LEWIS, Recess Senior Editor KIM ROLLER, Recess Senior Editor SUE NEWSOME, Advertising Director MARY WEAVER, Operations Manager NALINI MILNE, Advertising Office Manager

The Chronicle is published by the Duke Student Publishing Company, Inc, a non-profit corporation independent of Duke University. The opinions expressed in this newspaper are not necessarily those of Duke University, its students, faculty, staff, administration or trustees.Unsigned editorials represent the majority view of theeditorial board. Columns, letters and cartoons represent the views of the authors.

To reach the Editorial Office at 301 Flowers Building, call 684-2663 or fax 684-46%.T0 reach the Business Office at 103 West Union Building, call 684-3811.T0 reach the Advertising Office at 101 West Union Building call 684-3811 or fax 684-8295. Visit The Chronicle Online at http://www.chronicle.duke.edu. © 2005 The Chronicle, Box 90858, Durham, N.C. 27708. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the prior, written permission of the Business Office. Each individual is entitled to one free copy.

Living wage makes economic sense

In

his April 7 column, “The case against a living wage,” Nathan Carleton contends: “The biggest problem with a living wage is that it prevents less qualified or uneducated workers from competing for jobs.” From this point-of-view, living wage policies effectively “strip” less qualified workers of their “only bargaining chip.” However, he leaves out an

nies make such large profits, implementing a living wage would not pose a problem to SSC’s bottom line as long as the market for their services stayed competitive. The county went ahead with its living wage policy. Eco-

nomic catastrophe did not ensue.

When Durham Public Schools was thinking of outsourcing its janitorial work, Durham CAN pressured important factor in his dethem to implement a living of what he sees as a scription megan qumn valuable competition for lowwage. SSC, the same compawages: the race to the bottom. ny that once claimed a living guest commentary A race to the bottom wage was an economic impostends to occur when a labor sibility, came forward to prosource is willing to give, and companies are vide a living wage, health benefits that apwilling to take, labor for lower and lower proximate those of regular school employees and retirement benefits. With wages. Eventually this competition for progressively lower pay hits “bottom,” a stage at these policies, SSC was still able to earn a which the wage becomes insufficient for healthy profit. workers’ basic needs. What Carleton favors Though Carleton describes the “economic as “less qualified” workers’ “bargaining chip” benefits” of a living wage as “few” and “abis, in fact, what condemns them to live below stract,” SSC’s decision made concrete ecothe poverty line. nomic sense. For example, paying workers Carleton argues: “If a university suddenly less than a living wage may detract from a requires a business to pay its employees more company’s economic efficiency because low money, the employees of the business will bewages tend to create high worker turnover, which forces employers to invest in hiring come victims.” He uses the hypothetical example of Duke asking Angelica Corp. to pay and training new workers.

In addition, it should be noted that, when employees $l3 an hour—a figure which is workers do not receive adequate pay, they not on the table. Durham CAN, the prominent local living wage group, suggests that often turn to Social Services for help. The aid Duke pay about 9.5 percent above federal that some workers receive from Social Serpoverty level ($10.25 an hour). In Carleton’s vices comes from tax payers’ money.

A living wage is not the monster that Carscenario, he claims that Angelica would either “end their contract with Duke, or make leton makes it out to be. The question, to me, is whether we are content that many cuts to compensate.”

It would indeed be problematic if Angelipeople whom we see every day, who make our coffee or bagels, work 40 hours a week ca bred workers to cut costs. Carleton’s hypothetical example is contradicted, however, by. at Duke and still may need a second or third the economic reality of janitorial contractor job? Shouldn’t businesses reward the hard SSC’s implementation of a living wage. work of their employees by paying them a SSC publicly stated that a living wage wage that truly fulfills their need to make a would mean economic catastrophe for busiliving? Is poverty a part of our community ness and the county when the latter was conthat we can accept? sidering a living wage policy. Durham CAN’s Megan Quinn is a Trinity senior. argument was that, since contracting compa-

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THE CHRONICLE commentaries

Sometimes

You are what you eat

being a complaining, no-talent ass<lown in The Chronicle is all too easy. Still, it’s disturbing-like when your uncle goes into the bathroom after the Thanksgiving buffet and—for a is quiet 1 eerily quiet.

It’s hard to know what to do when the student newspaper publishes an article called “Posted food facts may be harmful, based on the opinions ofDuke’s dietician and director of dining services. Mocking stuff like this is like putting a half-dozen .45 caliber rounds into the skull of a horse with a broken leg: pathetic but necessary. One feels like he is walking into a trap—people can’t possibly be this stupid So we can take evolution classes and learn, quite correcdy, that human beings are elaborate robots for copying genes, but we can’t know how many calories and grams of saturated fat are in Armadillo Grill queso because it might give us eating disorders? So the logic” of our grown-up administrators goes. They will keep us happy and ignorant and safe. But unfortunately for us, there are matt perfectly legitimate—and even praise-worthy—reasons for wanting to know the nutritional details of the foods we re consuming.

Though it is seldom emphasized, diet exerts considerable influence on human performance. What you eat can have large effects on mood, concentration and flexible intelligence Scientists who bother to study these things have been able to tease out some clear—and individually testable—relationships between different foods and certain mental states. Judith Wurtman, a neurobiology researcher at MIT, has published extensively in this area, both in scientific journals and the popular press. A notable—albeit dumbeddown—book of hers, Managing Your Mind and Mood Through Food, summarizes the findings of research in the field and converts it into recommendations for optimizing mental and physical performance, which—unless you are ofFrench ethnic origin—ought to be the whole point of eating.

Because Duke would prefer to leave you out of the Loop, her major conclusions are summarized below. She, unlike the Duke chow Ayatollahs, wouldrather offer up the facts and tell people how to achieve their full potential by eating responsibly, even if some ofher suggestions are a little shaky empirically.

1. Brain chemicals called neurotransmitters, which are

produced from amino acids in the proteins we eat, regulate human mental states. By eadng certain foods in certain sequences and quantities, mood can be regulated.

2. Dopamine and norepinephrine are chemicals responsible for “mental performance,” alertness, attendon, etc.

Their precursor is tyrosine, a common consdtuent of protein-containing foods. By eadng protein before carbohydrates it is possible to increase die syndiesis of these chemicals and diereby remain more alert, focused, and energedc.

(Four ounces of protein is enough to produce die effect.)

3. Serotonin is die happy, relaxing chemical—think Prozac. It is synthesized from tryptophan, whose levels are increased in die brain by eadng carbohydrates alone, without protein. (1.5 ounces carbohydrate is sufficient.)

4. In repeated experiments, mental performance is negatively correlated with the size of the meal consumed prior to testing.

She recommends 400 calories per “working” breakfast and 500 to 600 calories for working dinners, avoiding excessive fat gillum wherever possible. veritas 5. For most people, consuming a moderate amount of caffeine has positive effects on error correction, concentration and alertness.

So nutrition information has relevance beyond the Darwinian quest to be svelte and attractive to die opposite sex; it can also be used to enhance mental performance and in so doing become wittier, get better jobs and thereby become more attractive to the opposite sex.

But ifyou’re like this writer, you can stick widi gallons of coffee, 49-cent Grizzly.chewing tobacco and vanilla cigars.

These will keep you performing around 25 percent of your full potential, no matter what.

In any event, though, we have a right to know about the properties of the foods we’re made to eat under die strictures of the Duke food plan because amino acid composition, caloric value and fat content have major relevance to brain function, mood and quality of life.

What we certainly don’t need is to be protected from the truth. Even though it may make the triple club lose its sparkle and strip the Loop chili cheese dog of its sanctity, we can get used to the news. What’s important is having the information that allows us to choose—for better or for worse.

WEDNESDAY. APRIL

13, 200511 19

Get outside. Now. Apparently,

Duke is doing something wrong. This is what I’ve been reading in the paper. Our social scene isn’t “comprehensive.” Duke University isn’t treating someone or another fairly. Students, I’m told, should unabashedly love their school, but instead, they harbor mixed feelings about it.

In reality, of course, Duke is doing most things overwhelmingly right. I’ve been over this issue before, but it’s not going away. There must be a reason. Let’s look at why we, as students, gripe.

We enter college in a frenzy of excitement, fear and awkwardness. Reality crashes down on our heads at some point, in some form—homesickness, an unbearable course load, a bad blackout, whatever—and the ideal cliche of the work-hard, play-hard Duke University gives way to the thing itself. College isn’t exactly like the movies say it’s going to be. Disillusionment sets in, and a lot of students swing too far in the opposite direction. They begin to trash talk our school, especially our social life.

I’ve never really understood what, exactly, Duke students want socially. Most visionaries have some picture of a world where everyone amasses on the quad every Friday,

last-day-of-classes-style,

to

interact with fellow community members of different ages, races and economic backgrounds.

Everyone drinks just enough (free) beer to get happily drunk while remaining coherent, then clears away at two or three miller in the morning. No one the grindstone studying or sleeping nearby is disturbed by the idiot yells of drunks. The next morning, the quad is as lush as ever, bursting with grass untainted by the piss, puke and trash that crowds always leave in their wake.

It should be noted that no one at these gatherings is tied down by a long-term relationship. Instead, they all hang in blissful romantic limbo. They date, which means they participate in fun, interesting, one-on-one interactions that involve great conversation, complete sexual gratification and no hard feelings the next morning as they go their separate ways, each partner equally disinterMatt Gillum is a Trinity senior. His column appears Wednesdays. ested in pursuing any further contact.

That picture, from what I gather, is what your average Duke student thinks a perfect social scene would look like. I get the impression, though, that most students aren’t thinking very hard. Yeah, we could use a bar and a loosening of the keg restrictions, but our other fantasies You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer artist Matisyahu used his two skills (singing and a deep pasare just that: fantasies. I like to consider bathrooms a lithacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. sion for the Torah) to be the first man of the Jewish faith to mus test for maturity. A quick survey shows that Duke —Napoleon Dynamite throw down some funky, skillful beats. Skills aren’t restrict“men” are still learning how to aim, and we’re struggling quote from the ever profound Napoleon will always ed by race but by dedication. So skip that class and dedicate with the flushing principle. If I were in the administracatch your attention, huh? He’s like a guru now yourself to something real, because skills are for real. tion, I’d be hesitant to give us all the booze and free rein with his wealth of everyday applicable aphorisrhs.

In addition, I hear knowing your constellations is really that we demand, too.

He has convinced me that learning skills may be the great with the ladies. I haven’t actually tried this one but Meanwhile, on the academic front, we’re busy absorbcoolest thing ever. However, since I didn’t get into that Copernicus and my physics teacher both attest to its success the jargon of our chosen fields and the campus culturing martial arts class, I won’t be able to learn Rex Kwan Do rate. Astronomy can get kind of tricky, what with your mateal scene in general. Oppression. Objectification. DisenThus I’ve had to setde for skills that, while rials being millions of light-years away. Also, franchisement. It’s exciting, all these words that seem to not so much impressive, I can still devote yourFisher-Price telescope may not cut it for make us so learned, and we get busy applying them to hour upon hours to. magnifying power. Edmund Haley says your everything around us with the youthful exuberance of stuTake pen spinning for example. Sure entry level quality telescope will run you dents who want to make a difference in the community. If, when you start, you’re just a weak, bullied about $24,000,000.57, which you can purfor example, races aren’t interacting, it’s “self-segregalittle kid with a dream and you stumble chase at your local national defense contraction,” and we need to “foster dialogue” about it. If popuupon www.pentrix.com. But when you’re tor. Once you’re equipped, start out with lar trends indicate a steamier interest in multiculturalism, a pen wielding champion, there will be some easy stuff to find, like the sun, before someone cries out about the objectification and colonizano doubt that, although people will conyou want to move on to harder stuff like ashwin bhirud tion of the “exotic other.” tinue to beat you up, your fingers know Galaxy 94A39C83W, a.k.a. Andromeda.

It’s unfortunate for Duke that the very institution that their way around a writing utensil. Re- what can brown do for you? You’re not ultimate champion until you can gives us these tools for criticizing the world is also the clospoint out God in the sky. member, learning skills is not for the est and easiest body to strike out against. As a result, Duke weak of heart. It could take you months to learn the Learning skills is the new “dressing up like Russell always comes off looking like the Great Satan, and we see Thumbaround Normal trick or the Fingerpass Normal, Crowe in A Beautiful Mind and pretending your schizo.” the often confused but always well-meaning protests that and you want to have years of practice before even apSome skills may have no real purpose but they are extremespring up around campus—like tulips—when the weather proaching The Infinity. Don’t forget that the point of ly applicable, while most of the dumb stuff you learn in gets nice. learning skills is so that it takes a long time and afterward school may have a purpose in some remote context but isn’t At the end of this rollercoaster ride, some seniors have you can put together a Rocky-esque montage replete with applicable at all. On the streets of Durham, knowing the mixed feelings. Who wouldn’t? Leaving this school with the Karate Kid theme song. Oh yeah, also so you can gloat chain rule isn’t going to stop you from getting shot. Howevthe same irrational love and excitement that marked your er, being able to point out the Big Dipper will show those unnecessarily and undeservingly. entrance would mean either a counterproductive refusal Another sweet skill is making noises with your mouth in guys you’re hard and get you some respect. A bevy of differto acknowledge the negatives or a total lack of growth. such away that it makes a beat. I never realized how cool ent skills could gamer you a gangster membership card.

Our professors spend their lives teaching us to second beatboxing was until I saw it done by Rahzel on video. I The benefits that come with aforementioned membership guess the black and white and look for truth in the gray never realized how uncool it was until I saw myself spitting (medical, dental, the laminated membership card) alone areas; it’s nice to see that we absorb at least one lesson in gurgly throaty sounds un-rhythmically in the mirror. But are worth the endless hours required to master skills. We our four years here. should all try to be a little more like Napoleon. Napoleon Dythat didn’t change my conviction thatforgoing human conThere’s one more lesson I’d like to add: Enjoy it while would turn me namite DVD on sale in stores everywhere. tact to practice in isolation for hours on end it lasts. I know I am. See you all in the gardens. into the stereotype-breaking boy wonder whose Indian Ashunn Bhirud is a Trinity sophomore. His column appears mouth produced things other than over-enunciated SAT John Miller is a Trinity junior. His column appears every words. This hasn’t happened, but it could. Hassidic reggae every other Wednesday. other Wednesday.

Napoleon on skills

A

John

THE CHRONICLE

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