March 22, 2006 by Duke Chronicle Print Archives

camp us Students re| port stench, dirty water in Craven Qi uad bathroom, PAGE 3

health H $77

sports

Vitamins help ward off coldrelated symptoms, PAGE 4

No. 3 Cornell upsets 2nd-ranked /jf Duke, 11-7,Tuesday, PAGE 12

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The Chronicler

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 22, 2006

i. ONE HUNDRED AND FIRST YEAR, ISSUE 117

THE INDEPENDENT DAILY AT DUKE UNIVERSITY

Brodhead offers ‘peek’ at University’s future BY

IZA WOJCIECHOWSKA THE CHRONICLE

WEIYITAN/THE

CHRONICLE

Duke overwhelmed USC at both ends of the court, tallying 85 points while pulling down 59 rebounds to reach the Sweet 16.

Duke ambushes Trojans by

Sean Moroney THE CHRONICLE

Alison NORFOLK, Va. Bales made it clear that the Trowere 1ians ci

usc

J 1

DUKE

not going to stop

the Blue Devils in their quest to advance to their ninth straight Sweet 16. With Duke up 4-2 early, USC

center Chloe Kerr drove from the

top of the key but her shot came nowhere near the hoop. Bales overpoweringly rejected Kerr’s layup attempt and sent her crashing to the floor. The block, one of six for Bales during the game, set the tone as the first-seeded Blue Devils (28-3) trounced the Tro-

jans, 85-51. Duke’s victory over USC (19-

12) propelled the Blue Devils into the third round of the NCAA Tournament where they will face fourth-seeded Michigan State Sunday in Bridgeport, Conn. The winner of that game will meet the victor between second-seeded Connecticut and third-seeded Georgia. SEE W. BBALL ON PAGE 16

In a speech delivered to students Tuesday, President Richard Brodhead divulged details about the strategic plan and revealed initial renderings for the new Central Campus. Speaking to an audience in Griffith Film Theater ofabout 100 students—notably fewer than attended his speech last year—Brodhead outlined several long-term goals, including interdisciplinary studies and academic engagement outside the classroom. Brodhead prefaced his speech with a brief history of education, posing questions about the strides Duke hopes to make in the next steps of its evolution. He encouraged students to pursue knowledge actively, quoting poet William Yeats who said education is not the filling of a bucket but the lighting of a fire. “If that’s so, a great university has to be thought to be a place ofcontinual combustion, where great energies of intelligence and creativity are being released in a bonfire that no

marshal could conceivably be able to contain,” he said. After describing the history and merits of academic specialization—which enabled intellectual breakthroughs by separating disciplines—Brodhead noted it SEE BRODHEAD ON PAGE 6

TOM MENDEL/THE CHRONICLE

President Richard Brodhead discusses the University's future with students in Griffith Film Theater Tuesday afternoon.

Neighbors voice concerns about impact of Central by

Jared Mueller

THE CHRONICLE

Some Durham residents say they are ambivalent about the proposed quarterbillion dollar expansion of Central Campus but appreciate Duke’s efforts to keep them in the loop. At a meeting Tuesday night, Provost Peter Lange and Vice President of Campus Services Kernel Dawkins spent two hours discussing the renovation plan at Asbury United Methodist Church. Both Lange and community members said the meeting’s tone was better than that of previous discussions about Central between Duke officials and neighbors. “This is the first time we’ve had a discussion of this calm, thoughtful character,” Lange said. John Schelp, president of the Old West Durham Neighborhood, offered

qualified praise. “The community meeting was a big improvement from the one in May, but Duke’s Central Campus plan is still a collage of blank spaces and vague foot-

prints,” he said. Neighbors said they were concerned about competition between Duke vendors and off-campus businesses, the accessibility ofCentral to Durham residents and the environmental impact of the project. Lange outlined the project’s goals and shared rough sketches of the proposed architectural scheme. His presentation echoed President Richard Brodhead’s speech to students earlier that afternoon, emphasizing the academic and social goals of the project. SEE CENTRAL ON PAGE 7

inside ■

■

Check out "footprints"—or rough diagrams—of the new Central Campus that University administrators presented to the local communi-

ty Tuesday.

see pg. 7

(WEDNESDAY,

THE CHRONICLE

MARCH 22, 2006

Bush: Troops to remain in Iraq

Gunmen kill 20 in Iraqi jailbreak BAGHDAD About 100 masked gunmen stormed a prison near the Iranian border Tuesday, cutting phone wires, freeing all the inmates and leaving behind a scene of devastation and carnage—20 dead policemen, burned-out cars and a smolder-

ingjailhouse. At least 10 attackers were killed in the dawn assault on the Muqdadiyah lockup on the eastern fringe of the Sunni Triangle, police said. The raid showed the mostlySunni militants can still assemble a large force, capable of operating in the region virtually at will—even though U.S. and Iraqi

military officials said last year that the area was no longer an insurgent stronghold. The insurgency’s strength, spiraling sectarian violence and the stalemate over forming a government in Iraq have led politicians and foreign policy experts to say Iraq is on the brink or perhaps in the midst of civil war. In all, 33 prisoners were freed, including 18 insurgents who were detained Sunday during raids by security forces in the nearby villages of Sansal and Arab, police said. It was the capture of those insurgents that apparently prompted Tuesday’s attack. The 15 other inmates were a mix of suspected insurgents and common criminals. In an Internet posting Tuesday night,

the military wing of the Mujaheddin Shura Council, a militant Sunni Muslim insurgent group, purportedly claimed it carried out the operation. The posting said the group killed “40 policemen, liberated 33 prisoners and captured weapons.” The claim was posted on the Iraqi News Web site. Neither the higher casualty toll among policemen nor the captured weapons could not be independently verified. The cutting of the telephone lines made it impossible for jailers or security officials, who apparently did not have cell phones, to SEE

JAILBREAK ON PAGE

Midwest pounded by spring snows by Ashley Heher THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

INDIANAPOLIS The spring snow storm that buried parts of Nebraska under more than two feet of snow swept through the Ohio Valley Tuesday, shutting down schools and maldng travel tough for voters headed for the polls for the Illinois primary election. As much as two inches of snow an hour fell in some areas ofIllinois and Indiana, and wind gusted to 40 mph, weather officials said. “Our weather’s terrible. The highways are terrible,” said Morgan County, 111., Sheriffs Deputy Trevor Lahey. “It’s not the

highway department’s fault, they just can’t Dakota and half a foot in the Oklahoma Panhandle. keep up with it.” He answered more than 50 calls TuesWind piled the snow into drifts seven day morning about cars in ditches west of feet high in parts of South Dakota and Nebraska. Farther south, heavy rain Springfield. caused flooding in the Dallas area. In Colorado, Interstate 70 reopened More than 7 inches of snow fell on early Tuesday after its eastbound lanes between Denver and the Kansas line were parts of western Indiana, and wind gustshut down for nearly 18 hours because of ing to 25 mph created whiteout conditions before the snow diminished at midheavy snow. Interstate 80 also reopened Tuesday day Tuesday. across Nebraska. Snowfall in parts of Illinois topped 10 The storm dumped as much as 28 inches. inches of snow on central Nebraska on SEE SNOW ON PAGE 10 Monday, 20 inches in parts of South

Khamenei okays U.S.-lran talks Iran's Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei said Tuesday that he approves of proposed talks between U.S.and Iranian officials on Iraq, but warned that the United States must not try to "bully" Iran.

Wholesale prices sink in Feb. A huge drop in energy costs helped push prices at the wholesale level down 1.4 percent in February, the largest amount in nearly three years, the Labor Department reported Tuesday. But with the cost of gasoline rising again, the reprieve could be

short-lived.

Palestinian attacks foiled With sirens wailing and blue lights flashing, Israeli police chased a van with explosives on a main highway Tuesday and captured a group of Palestinians who defense officials say planned a major bombing ahead of na-

tional elections. News briefs compiled from wire reports "You've got to find some way of saying it without saying it." Duke Ellington

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President George W. Bush said Tuesday that American forces will remain in Iraq for years and it will be up to a future president to decide when to bring them all home. But defying critics and plunging polls, he declared, "I'm optimistic we'll succeed. If not, I'd pull our troops out."

THE CHRONICLE

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 22,

Plumbing woes plague Craven Quad

Moving on up

DEVIKA

JUTAGIR/THE CHRONICLE

Progress on the West Campus Plaza is continuing,as supports for the structure—set to open later this year—have been erected near the Bryan Center.

Revisions to econ classes alter PPS reqs by

Leslie Griffith THE CHRONICLE

Planned changes

the curricula of

two economics courses will begin to affect

students in the fall. Economics 51, currendy a principles of macroeconomics course, will also incorporate principles of microeconomics. The new Economics 55 course, which will not officially be implemented until Spring 2007, will be more math-intensive, with a Math 31/32 prerequisite. Students taking Economics 51 this semester will take the existing Economics 55 course in the fall. In response to the new economics cur-

2006

ricula, prerequisites for the public policy studies major have changed. In the fall, PPS students will be able to take either Economics 51 or 55 to satisfy their economics prerequisite. Currently, students must take Economics 55, for which 51 or an equivalent course is a prerequisite. Emma Rasiel, director of undergraduate studies for the Department of Economics, said changes to the curriculum were necessary because the department currently lacks a true principles of microeconomics course. “Our principles course is solely macroeconomics, and instead of a principles of microeconomics, we have two intermediate micro classes,” Rasiel said. “One is

with calculus, and one without.” She added that the current system is inefficient for many PPS majors. “These students are taking more macroeconomics than they probably need for their major,” Rasiel said. “I’m an economist, so I’d never say it’s a bad thing, but in the context of their major, it’s not necessary.” Rasiel said the economics department made changes with the intention ofbetter serving both economics and non-economics majors. “It’s a benefit to public policy students because they need some micro as well as macro, and they will now get it all

Tiffany Webber THE CHRONICLE

When Jared Fish took a shower in his second-floor Craven Quadrangle House R bathroom Tuesday night, the senior suddenly got an unexpected and unpleasant whiff of sewage. “I smelled my skin, and it smelled like crap,” said Fish, who is also a columnist for The Chronicle. “It was subtle, but I smelled it—on me.” Fish said he was “90 percent certain” that the water in which he was showering was not clean. He added that the water in the drain running out of the bathroom was dark. The water in the urinal of the bathroom also began flowing incessantly while he was in the shower, Fish said. Chip Meade, a general maintenance worker for the Facilities Management Department, arrived within 10 minutes of Fish’s call. He said aging equipment in the bathroom seemed to be the cause of the

problems.

Residents of House R complained that dilapidated facilities are recurring problems for the quad.

Senior Nick Peach, who was nearby at the time of the incident, said Fish ran to his room as soon as he discovered the stench. “It smelled like shit,” Peach said of the area. Meade said he did not see any evidence of sewage once he arrived, but he admitted that facilities problems in the quad happen “from time to time.” “We shouldn’t have to live in substandard housing,” Peach said, adding that this incident is the latest in a string of bathroom facilities issues for House R. Last September, a pipe in a urinal on

SEE PPS/ECON ON PAGE 8

SEE CRAVEN ON PAGE 10

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THE CHRONICLE

4 I WEDNESDAY, MARCH 22, 2006

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FEELIHB SICK?

ncaiin(x9i.icni.c IMfflRI Experts weigh in on how to cure a cold JBT JH

Funds needed to fight bird flu The federal government needs to give states more than the $350 million proposed by President George W. Bush to prepare for a pandemic flu, N.C. Governor Mike Easley said Tuesday. "From a state perspective, I can tell you that that will not cut it," Easley said.lt is going to take a bigger federal commitment." Easley made his comments during the state's first flu pandemic summit, where Health and Human Services Secretary Mike Leavitt and Education Secretary Margaret Spellings

also spoke to public health officials, law enforcement, business and community leaders Bioterrorism money misspent Federal money to prepare for bioterrorism attacks won't be as readily available as it has been in the past, in part because of the poor spending choices made in some states, Sen. Richard Burr said Monday. Money set aside for homeland security has paid for ID card makers, Palm Pilots, color printers, digital cameras, chain saws, garden hoses, and other questionable items, according to reports.

GPS to monitor sex offenders Louisiana is looking to upgrade its tracking of sex offenders beyond a simple registration of where they live. The state corrections department plans to use Global Positioning Satellite monitoring to keep tabs on 100 ofLouisiana's highest-risk sex offenders, if the $365,000 program gets funding in the upcoming budget year. Backers say the satellitetechnology alerts police if sex offenders travel in prohibited areas, like near schools or victims' homes, and helps police determine if sex offenders were in an area when and where a crime occurred.

doctor

Christina Patsiokas THE CHRONICLE

Guzzling orange juice helps

fight nasty winter colds—right? Throughout flu and allergy season, students are faced with a

boggling medley of tips, overthe-counter medicines and herbal remedies to help them alleviate the symptoms of their annoying ailments. The general consensus about how to best manage colds and the flu is to wait them out. Caused by viruses, the illnesses cannot be cured with antibiotics. They usually do not last longer than a week. Doctors say treating the symptoms to minimize discomfort is a patient’s best decision. As far as herbal treatments go, specialists report that there are quite a few promising options. “Vitamin C can’t hurt, and it may help,” said Deronda Elliott, nurse at the East Campus Wellness Center. Although scientists continue to debate the vitamin’s efficacy, taking some every day is good for you, Elliott added. Another vitamin may soon be getting the kind of reputation vitamin C has gained among the

general population. “There are some new studies that say vitamin E helps with prevention and lessens the severity of upper respiratory infections,” said Toni Apadula, dietician at Student Health. She added that nuts and whole grains are good sources of vitamin E. Although the World Health out

Over-the-counter herbal supplements have been found to help the body fight the common cold, especially during flu season.

Organization has endorsed echinacea—a botanical extract from the purple coneflower—for the treatment of the common cold, studies on its efficacy have produced mixed results, according to WebMD.com. Echinacea can help lessen the severity apd duration of a cold, but it might weaken the immune system if taken regularly, Apadula

explained. As for traditional home remedies for colds and fins, it turns out that the old wives were right. The most traditionalof home

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remedies—plenty of rest and fluids—is the best way to combat a sickness, explained PJ Rowland, a triage nurse at Student Health. Rowland suggested drinking at least 10 glasses of water a day. She added that staying home and resting can also prevent the spread of a virus, which can be transmitted through the air and contaminated surfaces on through particles emitted during coughing. Studies have shown that chicken soup is a viable treat-

merit for cold symptoms. It re-

duces inflammation and clears nasal pathways. Also, gargling saltwater is a method of relieving a sore throat, Rowland noted. She suggested using a halfteaspoon of salt in a glass of warm water. The saltwater option may be more helpful than traditional cough syrup, according to mayoclinic.com, which also lists lemon water and honey as SEE COLDS ON PAGE 9

THE CHRONICLE

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 22,

20061 5

Court case could affect criteria for research credit byJasten McGowan THE CHRONICLE

The Supreme Court may set a precedent next Tuesday for what defines a patentable natural occurrence. The decision could drastically alter the criteria for who gets credit for research findings. For decades, researchers have claimed that certain scientific procedures should not become intellectual property or be patented because they exist as a result of natural occurrences rather than a scientist’s discovery. The Court will hear an appeal made by the Laboratory Corporation ofAmerica in the case Lab Corp v. Metabolite Laboratories. The corporation claims that Metabolite sought out a patent for “basic scientific facts rather than any novel inventions.” “In between the two types ofprocesses, there’s a gray area,” said Craig Steven Jep-

son, a patent expert at Franklin Pierce Law Center, who filed a brief in the case. Metabolite’s existing patent pertains to a

owned the intellectual property. “The same issue has definitely emerged as a debate among many scientists in their specific method of testing to determine lev- respective fields,” said Robert Cook-Deegan, els of the amino director of the acid homocysCenter for teine, which is Genome Ethics, “This case could potentially measured for Law & Policy at the Institute for treating various have a massive impact in the medical ailGenome Sciarea of genomics, which will ments, including ences and Policy. heart disease “This case play a leading role in the area Metabolite, could potentially of diagnostic procedures.” however, claims have a massive that Lab Corp impact in the Robert Cook-Deegan area used its patentof geed tech ni ques nomics, which without paying will play a leadthe appropriate fees. ing role in the area of diagnostic proceLab Corp sued Metabolite on the dures,” he said, grounds that Metabolite should not have Cook-Deegan said the general consen-

Students take home Goldwater Scholarships Four students have been selected as recipients of the Goldwater Scholarships for the 2006-2007 academic year, officials announced Monday. The winners are juniors Joseph Babcock, Brandon Levin and Felicia Walton and sophomore Jonathan Russell. Goldwater Scholarships, which are based on academic merit, are given to sophomores andjuniors in college in the fields of mathematics, science and engineering. The scholarships provide $7,500 toward annual tuitionand expenses. Duke’s four recipients are among 323 students selected from a pool of 1,081 nationwide. Babcock is from North Haven, Conn., and he is majoring in biology and chemistry. He is currently working on research of the regulation of gene expression in simple organisms. He plans to become a biochemist. Babcock is also an

editor of Vertices, the University’s journal of science and technology, and The Blind Spot, a sci-fi literary magazine. Levin is from Toledo, Ohio, and he is majoring in mathematics. He plans to conduct research in pure mathematics, particularly number theory. He was a 2005 Fellow in the mathematics department, as well as a counselor and lecturer at the Program in Mathematics for Young Scientists in Boston, Mass. Russell is from lowa City, lowa, and he is majoring in biology and chemistry. He is planning to earn a dual M.D./Ph.D. degree and then pursue a career as a molecular geneticist. He is currentiy researching the mechanism ofaction and synthesis of antimicrobial peptides in simple animal systems. Russell is the co-founder and president of Students for Organ Donation. Walton is from Asheville, N.C., and she is also majoring

Human Touch

Big Black Heaven

sus among his peers is that a procedure is patentable when its discovery is novel, has utility and is not very obvious to others doing research. But he added that the relativity in defining procedures leaves the task of interpretation to the courts and patent regulations. “This decision will be the first major evaluation of the broad aspects of patentability in years,” he said. The Supreme Court, in a 1980 decision, held that man-made interventions involving living organisms are also patentable. Deegan said the Court’s decision could either have major implications, such as restricting earnings and reducing the public’s access to procedures, or change nothing at all. “This is something that really needs to be addressed,” Deegan said. “[Patentability] is a much more complicated issue among scientists than it appears.”

in biology and chemistry. She is researching the genetics of pathogenic fungi and recently published two papers on the subject along with two ofher faculty mentors. Walton is president of the Biology Majors Union and tutor in the Duke-Durham Partners for Youth program. The Goldwater scholarship is named in honor of the late U.S. Sen. Barry Goldwater. It was created to encourage students to pursue math, science and engineering careers. NSF funds allows summer program for minorities to continue The National Science Foundation has given $378,928 to the University to support the continuation fo the Ralph Bunche Summer Institute, a program that seeks to encourage minority undergraduate students to become interested in attending graduate school. The grant will allow Duke to host the event in the summers of 2006, 2007 and 2008.

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THE CHRONICLE

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 22, 200(i

BRODHEAD

from page 1

was time to supplement this method with newer means of gaining knowledge. He explained that interdisciplinary, extracurricular and real-world education are all means by which students and faculty can build on traditional academic learning. “An educated person is going to be able to pull together and integrate disparate bodies of knowledge, and to do so not by some fixed formula that can be taught in advance in your youth, but to do so improvisationally, opportunistically, in response to the changing arrays ofcircumstances and changing arrays of resources,” he said. With these philosophical goals in mind, Brodhead then gave students a “flasher’s peek” at the tenets of the strategic plan. He said the University’s primary obligation is always to attract faculty of the highest excellence, which entails both powerful intellectual creativity and the eagerness to support students’ creativity. Brodhead placed particular emphasis on hiring in cross-disciplinary areas. The University intends to focus on the development ofareas such as global health, the environment and the study ofthe brain. Each of these disciplines will draw together faculty and resources from various existing departments, programs and centers. “These moves will dramatically strengthen Duke’s ability to promote collaborative exploration and to link research inquiry to real-world application,” Brodhead said. He advocated studying abroad, citing several examples of students studying in other countries that had put into action the integrative education emphasized on campus. He also noted that a higher percentage of Duke students study abroad than at comparable institutions, but additional steps should be taken to make going

TOM

MENDEL/THE CHRONICLE

Audience members at President Richard Brodhead's speech heard about plans for the new Central Campus. abroad an even more significant part of students’ educational experiences. “Now we need to ensure that students are getting the most educational version of experience abroad, not just creditbearing touristic travel at parental expense,” Brodhead said. The strategic plan will also focus on the arts, a movement inaugurated by the opening of the Nasher Museum of Art. Brodhead said University officials hope to strengthen the presence of the arts in part by increasing performance space, integrating contemporary media and offering more opportunities to work with distinguished artists. The previous strategic plan dealt primarily with building projects, and Brodhead

said the next strategic plan will inevitably involve more building —namely the construction of Central Campus. “But what will make the new Central strategic, rather than merely necessary, is the way it will speak to the new model of education,” Brodhead said. He explained that the new Central would become an integrative space, which would eventually serve to connect East and West campuses and the Nasher. But in addition to being physically integrated, the spaces slated to be filled in the coming years would combine residence halls with academic spaces, international and study abroad facilities, visual arts studios and performance spaces. Graduate and undergraduate students

will also be more closely integrated, as students from all of Duke’s schools will have housing options on Central. Brodhead showed renderings of the layout of buildings and spaces slated for Phase I, to be completed around Fall 2008. He gave a “tour” of the map, listing an amalgamation of functions for the future buildings, including residence halls, a gym, bookstore, grocery store, indoor and outdoor performance spaces, academic facilities and amenities “for students at the end of their undergraduate career.” He also detailed the new inter-campus route, which will be much shorter and provide a less circuitous route between East and West. In response to concerns that Central may create a conflict with Ninth Street businesses, Brodhead said no competition will exist, and the campus may in fact try to collaborate with them. Though Central’s renovation took the limelight, Brodhead reminded students that officials are also looking into East and West campus renovations to support the emerging model of education. “It’s exciting to be part of making a great school better,” he said, adding that regardless of Central’s construction progress, the time is always right for students to begin planning strategically for their own times at Duke. Students responded to Brodhead’s speech with enthusiasm, especially about the Central schematics. “The preface was very interesting and informative,” sophomore Anthony Bishopric said, adding that he was excited to hear more concrete and clear information regarding Central. “It was great to see a plan ofCentral—it looks like it’s very well thought-out, and it looks like it could be a great addition to the school,” sophomore Alex Fife said. “And Brodhead was his usual charming self.”

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THE CHRONICLE

CENTRAL

WEDNESDAY, MARCH

22, 200617

Tom Campbell, the owner of the Regulasaid he is concerned by the possibility that Duke may invite the nationDawkins and Lange were cautious when al chains Borders or Barnes & Noble to opdiscussing potential vendors in the new erate a bookstore on Central. “There are Central, and their reluctance to be tied questions of scale that come into question down to specific commitments frustrated with me,” Campbell explained, Lange said he would not rule out the some business owners. “It is a little reassurof possibility ing, but there still are a lot of a contracting unanswered large corpora“Any investment is a great invest. n tion to run the questions,” said with a ment—especially Steve Booth, new campus bookstore. the owner of price $230-million 1 Ninth Street’s Durham resiMark Cfitzer, World dent Mark One Market. Cntzer said the Durham resident concerns about Taxation was were overblown, controversial topic at the meeting. Because Central He said he is optimistic about the ecoCampus is zoned as a University-College nomic effects of the new Central, which District, any vendors located there would will allow hundreds ofadditional students to live on campus. not have to pay property tax. Business owners said this gives on-cam“I’ve been to both Barnes Sc Noble and pus businesses an unfair advantage, but the Regulator, and I don’t see them as comLange said the University is considering petitors. The net impact of people is going charging vendors fees comparable to prop- to be good for Ninth Street,” Critzer said, erty'tax to level the playing field. The fees “Any investment is a great investment—eswould be collected by the University. pecially with a $230-million price tag.” page 1

tor Bookshop,

”

—

Moving the campus bookstore from the Bryan Center to Central Campus, and converting the former bookstore space to a center for graduate students.

Extending Yearby Street from Erwin Road to what is now Trent Drive, renaming it Duke Way, and limiting traffic on the road to pedestrians, bicycles, and Duke transit vehicles.

Demolishing current student parking lots on Central Campus and building a large parking structure on Central Campus for short term use by staff, students and visitors.

Increasing the number of beds on Central from 1,000 to somewhere between 1,100and 1,200.

*Shifting the campus bus routes to Duke Way and extending the routes to include off-campus destinations

*Designing all new buildings to meet or exceed LEED Silver environmental certification requirements,

TOM

Jared Mueller

MENDEL (TOP), SPECIAL TO THE CHRONICLE

provost p e ter Lange (top) addresses local residents about the University's plans for Central Campus (below).

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The North Carolina Department of Transportation (NCDOT) will hold the above Citizens Informational Workshop on Tuesday, April 4, 2006 between the hours of 4:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. in the Central Carolina Community College (CCCC) Multipurpose Room Building 2, 764 West Street, Pittsboro. -

The purpose of this workshop is for NCDOT representatives to provide information, answer questions, and accept written comments regarding the project. NCDOT proposes to develop a multi-use trail along the former American Tobacco railway corridor. The project length is about 4.67 miles long. Anyone desiring additional information may contact the Division of Bicycle and Pedestrian Transportation at 1552 Mail Service Center, Raleigh, NC 27699-1552, phone (919) 715-2342, or email katrivedi@dot.state.nc.us.

NCDOT will provide auxiliary aids and services under the Americans with Disabilities Act for disabled persons who wish to participate in this workshop. Anyone requiring special services should contact the Division of Bicycle and Pedestrian Transportation at the contact information above as early as possible so that arrangements can be made.

THE CHRONICLE

8 IWEDNESDAY, MARCH 22, 2006

REMINGTON KENDALL Enhance on-campus social scene —Plaza First Friday concert series —lntegrate social, residential and academic facets on the new Central Campus Ensure more accountable, respresentative and responsive DSG Senate

To ensure better communication, Kendall proposed holding regular meetings with senators. “DSG did a lot better job with commuDSG Senate. Last year, he was elected sophomore class president, and this year he was nicating with students this year,” he said. He added, however, that there is still once again elected to be a Senate member. Kendall said his primary concern lies in room for improvement. DSG President Jesse Longoria, a senior, improving the campus social scene. He cited the purchase of off-East Campus said he believes Kendall’s strengths come from his ability to communicate well with houses and the possibility of tailgate ending next year as examples of constraints many groups in the community. being placed on students’ lives. “Remington has exhibited the ability to frustrated. work with a lot of different types of people, lot of are We “A very people keep losing activities around campus, but producing results that everybody feels that nothing is being they had input in,” Longoria added,” he said. said “When one “The president needs to stand Kendall said thing gets taken he will use this two away, up to the administration more. should be strength to imAnytime the administration prove communiadded.” cation between Kendall wants doesn’t communicate with stuto propose the DSG and the administration. dents, it’s ridiculous.” installment of a “The presicampus bar. He Remington Kendall dent needs to also plans to monitor closely the administration development of the new Central Campus to ensure more,” Kendall said. “Anytime the administration doesn’t communicate with stufacilides are being built to stimulate academic, residential and social life. dents, it’s ridiculous.” Kendall also wants to improve the comAnother problem he wants to see fixed munication between the student body and is the lack of follow-through on projects the DSG legislative body. He proposed asproposed by DSG senators. As a solution, signing each senator approximately 200 Kendall proposed requiring senators to students. If students have suggestions, write bi-monthly reflections on issues on questions or comments, they could be re- which they are working. ferred to their respective senators. “Senators seem to feel they can get away Although communication is a key part with not finishing their projects,” Kendall said. “I will take on a more active role next of his platform, Kendall said his understanding of communication does not in- year and meet with each senator.” volve excessive talking. Longoria noted that Kendall has the “I only speak when I feel it is needed, necessary skills to handle the job of DSG otherwise you lose your voice,’* he said. “I president. “He’s someone that has the expethink it through first, and, when I speak, rience, the knowledge and the passion to do very well in the position,” Longoria said. people listen to me.”

KENDALL

*»

page

—Junior

—Establish oversight committee —Senators represent equal blocks of constituents —Promote DSG elections to campus groups with new exec Improve freshman experience

—Develop new and current mentor ship programs —lncrease variety of dining options on East

Increase campus accessibility

—Wireless accessibility in dorms —Extend hours of BC and eateries like the Great Hall

PPS/ECON

from page 3

in one course,” she said. Rasiel added that officials in the Nicholas School of the Environment and Earth Sciences prefer their students to learn microeconomics and said that the new Economics 51 course will fulfill the need in one semester. The effects of the course changes on PPS requirements extend beyond the economics prerequisites. Currendy, PPS majors take either Public Policy 128, called “Microeconomic Policy Tools,” or an approved substitute for the course taught by an economist within the public policy department, said James Hamilton, professor in the Department of Public Policy Studies. Under the new system, only students who take Economics 55 will have the option of taking a substitute course, while those who take Economics 51 will be re-, quired take PPS 128. Hamilton said the department expects enrollment in PPS 128 to increase significantly. Although approximately half of all PPS majors opt to take PPS 128 instead of a substitute under the current rules, Hamilton anticipates that after the change the proportion will rise to 90 percent. The class, now offered only in the fall, will become available for both semesters to accommodate increased enrollment. “This change allows students to do what we’ve always hoped they would do,” Hamilton said. “We want them to think like economists and then apply it to

policy.”

Hamilton added that he expects the new Economics 55 course to be primarily the choice of economics and PPS double majors, who number about 20 students each year.

PROVOST'S LECTURE SERIES 2005-06

Science, Religion,

OCTOBER 27. 2005 Sean Carroll, University of Wisconsin, Madison “Endless Forms Most Beautiful: The Expanding Science of Evolution and Why It Matters" DECEMBER 8.2005 John Naught, Georgetown University "God After Darwin: Evolution and the Question of Divine Providence"

JANUARY 26.2006 Ed Larson, University of Georgia "From Dayton.to Dover: A Brief History of the Controversy over Teaching Evolution"

FEBRUARY 7, 2006 Simon Conway Morris, University of Cambridge "Darwin’s Compass: How Evolution Discovers the Song of Creation"

APRIL 6, 2006 Daniel Dennett, Tufts University "Darwin, Meaning and Truth"

All lectures will be held in Love Auditorium, Levine Science Research Center at 5:00 p.m.

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THE CHRONICLE

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 22, 2006

JAILBREAK from page 2

Also in the capital, gunmen killed an

call other police for backup. Residents of the town informed authorities of the situation after hearing the firing. With the wires cut, the insurgents had 90 minutes to battle their way into the law enforcement compound before police reinforcements showed up from the nearby villages of Wajihiyah and Abu Saida, police said. Muqdadiyah is about 25 miles from the Iranian frontier and 60 miles northeast of Baghdad. By the time the insurgents fled, taking away the bodies of many of their dead compatriots, nearly two dozen cars were shot up and set on fire and the jail was a charred mass of twisted bunk bed frames and smoldering mattresses. Afterward, U.S. helicopters hovered in the air above the jail. Police said residents fired into the air, but it was not clear if the American aircraft were the target. No aircraft was hit. It was not the first time militants have targeted a jail. On April 20, 2004, insurgents fired 12 mortars into the infamous Abu Ghraib prison on the outskirts of Baghdad, killing 22 inmates and wounding 92. A U.S. general speculated the attack may have been an attempt to spark a prison break or an uprising. In other violence Tuesday, a roadside bomb killed one policeman and wounded three in Baqouba, 35 miles northeast of Baghdad, authorities said. A U.S. soldier with the 4th Infantry Division was killed by small-arms fire Tuesday while patrolling western Baghdad, the U.S. military reported. At least 2,315 members of the U.S. military have died since the beginning of the Iraq war in March 2003, according to an Associated Press count.

employee of the mayor’s office while he was driving in the Dora neighborhood of

south Baghdad. Police reported discovering eight more blindfolded corpses in west Baghdad, some of them under a highway and showing signs of torture, officials said. In Suwera, 50 miles south of Baghdad, four more corpses were found on the bank of the Tigris River. The execution-style killings have become an almost daily occurrence in a wave of sectarian violence that has left more than 1,000 Iraqis dead since the bombing last month of a Shiite shrine. With an increasing number ofAmericans calling for a pullout ofU.S. forces regardless of the consequences for Iraq, a powerful group of U.S. senators met with interim Prime Minister Ibrahim alJaafari on Tuesday to discuss prospects for formation of a national unity government.

Al-Jaafari said he believed Iraq’s most difficult political hurdles had been crossed and predicted a new government would be ready in the coming weeks. “I hope that the formation of the new government does not last beyond April,” he said after the meeting. Sen. Carl Levin of Michigan, ranking Democrat on the Senate Armed Services Committee, said: “April is fine, but it is necessary that this commitment be kept in order for there to be continued support for the presence ofAmerican troops in Iraq.” However, President George W. Bush said Tuesday that the decision about when to withdraw all U.S. troops from Iraq will fall to future presidents and Iraqi leaders, suggesting that U.S. involvement will continue at least through 2008. •

TOM

MENDEL/THE CHRONICLE

Some experts say echinacea helps combat the common cold, while others are skeptical of its use.

COLDS from page 4 cough suppressants. For more flu-like symptoms, the scent of lemon helps reduce nausea, and eating regularly instead of “starving a fever” helps the body fight off the ailment, Apadula said. As opposed to colds, allergies are caused by immune responses to foreign particles—such as pollen—that the body mistakenly recognizes as pathogens. A simple alternative to medical tests for distinguishing allergies from colds is correlating the severity of symptoms with daily pollen counts, which can be found on websites such as www.pollen.com. To lessen the inconveniences of aller-

gies, the best strategy is to avoid the allergens themselves, Rowland noted. “If you go outside, wash your hair because it will pick up pollen and allergens,” Rowland said, adding that changing bedsheets frequently will also help reduce exposure to irritants. For severe symptoms, prescription and over-the-counter antihistamines will help block the immune response underlying the stubborn runny nose and sneezing. Frequent hand-washing and the use of alcohol-based gel is extremely important for preventing illness, Rowland said. To maintain a healthy immune system, Apadula suggested eating small, frequent and well-balanced meals every four hours during the day.

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THE CHRONICLE

10IWEDNESDAY, MARCH 22, 2006

CRAVEN from page 3 the third floor of the dorm exploded, effectively flooding two floors of the residence hall. Peach and Fish said that a few weeks ago, a partition in another bathroom of the dorm shattered. Peach also said residents of the dorm continue to experience problems with plumbing in the sinks. “There’s this one sink, we call it ‘the crotch sink,’ because it sprays right into your crotch,” he said. Eddie Hull, dean of residence life and executive director of housing services, recently told The Chronicle that renovations to Craven Quad will not happen until after Crowell Quadrangle is renovated in summer 2007. Steve Veres contributed to this story.

Students in Craven House R reported that a urinal in a second-floor bathroom was flowing more than usual.

SNOW from page 2

Nina, the mild cooling of the tropical Pacific Ocean that often coincides with stronger and more frequent hurricanes, a wetter Pacific Northwest and a drier Southern region. “I think the important feature of the upcoming season is not just going to be a really cold or really warm season

Indiana State Police reported dozens of accidents. School districts across central Illinois and western and central Indiana closed for the day. The weather —

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races The storm hit after an unseasonably warm winter in which snowfall was 30 percent to 50 percent below normal in Indiana. Through mid-March, Indianapolis had used only about two-thirds of its $4.6 million snow-removal budget, officials said. Indiana state climatologist Dev Niyogi said the erratic weather will likely continue, in part because of the impact of La

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states.

The Nebraska Legislature canceled its Tuesday meeting, and the South Dakota Legislature rescheduled Monday’s meet-

ings. At least five deaths were blamed on the storm in Colorado, Nebraska and Texas.

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A LATE RON GIVES NO. 3 BIG BED AN UPSET WIN OVER NO. 2 DUKE PAGE 12

Well, so much for George Washington’s athleticism and attacking style causing problems for Duke. The Train didn’t even have to kick into high gear. I spent the whole game thinking, “Hey, this is the second round of the NCAA Tournament, and we’re two stops from Indy, maybe the guy shoveling coal into the furnace in the little car behind the engine should be working a little harder.” a^ex The UConn al £ot to see a °py J

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THE CHRONICLE

NORFOLK, Va. Like the game before it, Duke’s matchup with USC was one that the Blue Devils were supposed to win with ease. Before the game even started, the crippled Trojans took the court for warmups with only eight players and the contest’s outcome seemed already decided. The top-seeded Blue Devils could have

——

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No Babies allowed on The Train

JJ. Redick was named one of four finalists for the Naismith Award. Rudy Gay, Adam Morrison, and Allan Ray are the other three.

■

MEN'S LAX STUMBLES

REDICH CLOSES IN ON NAISMITH

•

march 22, 2006

good game—twice.

Texas’ Covered Wagon had to sweat out a close one against Penn. Villanova’s VW Bug was in overdrive in the second round. Fans of The Team Formerly Known as Boston Public’s girl’s team (it’s Tournament time, got to rep the ACC) got 10 minutes of bonus basketball in the first round. Meanwhile, The Train (U.S. Patent No. 83946006 Pending) witnessed the college basketball equivalent of an older brother beating up his little bro. And it wasn’t even like The Train got to see some spectacular beat down; instead, it got 40 minutes of big bro eating a bologna sandwich while keeping litde bro and his flailing fists at arms length. “Duke is Duke,” GW guard J.R. Pinnock said, apdy summing up, in three words, what might have been the least exciting 13point game in NCAA Tournament history.

played complacently in*

Victories that seemed more like Globetrotters vs. Generals than Division I competition. Instead they rebounded from their two late-season losses to prove that they can play the gritty basketball it will take to go deep into the Tournament. “I think [losing] came at the right time because it gave this team a lot of motivation to come into the tournament,” senior Mistie Williams said. The Blue Devils could have sleep walked through the first two rounds of the NCAA Tournament, relying on their superior talent to breeze by overmatched opponents. Duke, however, consistendy played ruthless defense and exuded a steadfast tenacity during the two blowouts. With eight minutes remaining in Tues-

name

two

—

SEE THE TRAIN ON PAGE 13 WEIYITAN/THE CHRONICLE

Forward Alison Bales tallied six blocks as Duke's defense heldUSC to 31 -percent shooting from the field.

SEE INTENSITY ON PAGE 16

MEN'S BASKETBALL

Mcßoberts finds flair in time for Title run by

Mike Van Pelt

THE CHRONICLE

ANTHONY CROSS/THE CHRONICLE

Shelden Williams will meet his biggest test of the Tournament when hefaces LSU's Glen Davis.

Last year during the McDonald’s Allfestivities, game American Josh Mcßoberts put on an absolute show. He slammed home some ridiculous dunks to finish as the runner-up in the dunk contest. Then in the all-star game he jammed in alley-oops, drained threes and displayed his mid-range skills to earn MVP honors. The high school senior seemed destined for immediate stardom once he arrived on Duke’s campus. But with two already established superstars returning to the Blue Devils for

their senior seasons, the freshman began the year playing as if he were afraid to steal the spodight from JJ. Redick or Shelden Williams. “I think earlier in the season, I held back a litde,” Mcßoberts said after defeating Wake Forest in the semifinals of the ACC Tournament. “Earlier in the season, I was a litde too patient, willing to defer to our older guys. Now, I’m confident I can be a big part of the team.” At the start of the season, Mcßoberts seemed to feel uncomfortable playing alongside Williams in the post and seldom SEE

MCROBERTS ON PAGE 14

TIAN, QINZHENG/THE CHRONICLE

Mcßoberts has scored at least 10 points in eight of his last 11 games.

12IWEDNESDAY, MARCH 22,

THE CHRONICLE

2006

MEN'S LACROSSE

Cornell secures upset with 5-goal 4th quarter by

Galen Vaisman

THE CHRONICLE

Not even the brief flurries could get in the way of Cornell’s spring break plans to exact revenge on the Blue Devils. Behind a five-goal, fourth-quarter charge, the No. 3 Big Red (5-0) avenged a loss to the Blue CORNELL JJ Devils in last year’s DUKE 7 NCAA quarterfinals with an 11-7 win over No. 2 Duke (6-2) on the West Campus Turf Fields Tuesday. With the game tied, 6-6, in the fourth quarter, a series of uncharacteristic defensive miscues spelled doom for the Blue Devils. Cornell’s David Mitchell started things off by scoring the go-ahead goal while falling to the ground with 12:42 to play. Less than two minutes later, Eric Pittard extended the lead to two on a wrap-around goal which he dropped in behind Blue Devil goalie Danny Loftus. Pittard, who entered the game with just two goals on the season, finished the period with a hat trick and had a game-high five points on the afternoon. “What cost us in the fourth quarter was some defensive breakdowns,” Duke head coach Mike Pressler said. “We had three key blunders in a row on defense and they capitalized on them.... We only gave up two goals in the first half, but the key was that we gave up nine goals in the second half. Defensive gaffes and blunders really let us down.” With 9:04 to play in the game and Duke trailing, 8-7, defenseman Bo Carrington picked up a loose ball in front of the Blue Devil net and tried to pass it back to goalie Danny Loftus.

SARA GUERRERO/THE CHRONICLE

With Tuesday's loss to the Big Red, the Blue Devils drop to 0-2 against top-five opponents this season.

Pittard, however, was still standing in front of the Duke net, and intercepted the pass. The attacker turned and fired the ball past Loftus to regain the Big Red’s

two-goal advantage. “Bo was trying to make a heads up play,” Loftus said. “He made a good play to get the ground ball. He spun around and didn’t see the guy there and threw it back.” Duke’s collapse in the final period was all

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the more surprising considering the team had given up just4.4 goals per game entering the contest and appeared to have momenturn after a 3-1 run to close the third quarter, Down 5-3 with 8:47 to go in the third period, Pressler called timeout, trying to rally his squad. Once play resumed, the Blue Devils wasted little time. Faceoff specialist Brad Ross took the draw all the way down the middle of the field and fired a

goal into the left side of the cage just ten seconds later. Duke would continue to put pressure on the Cornell defense for the rest of the quarter, finally tying the game with 1:08 to play in the period. After Zack Greer sent in a high pass from justbeyond the midfield line, forward Dan Flannery made an acrobatic catch and shot the ball past Big Red goalie Matt McMonagle to knot the score at six. Aside from their third-quarter run, however, the Blue Devils’ offense was inconsistent the rest of the afternoon. The team was outshot, 15-2, in the first quarter and received little offensive production from point leader Matt Danowski, who was held to just a single assist. “We didn’t play well on the offensive end,” Pressler said. ‘We won the faceoffs, we stayed out of the penalty box, but we threw too many balls away. We weren’t in sync today.” Duke’s offensive woes were encapsulated on a key play midway through the second quarter. After the Blue Devils scored two quick goals to take their first lead of the game, 3-2, Flannery intercepted a Cornell clearing pass at midfield and found himself starring at an empty cage. Despite a clear path to the net and a wide-open Danowski down by the crease, however, Flannery forced a shot from 30 yards out that fell short of the left post and bounced away. “Our attack hasn’t been in sync pretty much the whole year,” Pressler said. “We haven’t gelled. We’re trying—it’s certainly not for a lack of effort, it just hasn’t

happened.”

THE CHRONICLE

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 22, 200fi|13

MEN'S BASKETBALL

Seminoles’ season ends with loss to Gamecocks by

Brent Kallestad

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The South CarTALLAHASSEE, Fla. olina Gamecocks thought they had already won the game in regulation. They made sure of it in overtime. Tarence Kinsey hit three free throws in the final 26 seconds of overtime and South Carolina (20-15) S. CAROLINA beat Florida State.

69-68, Tuesday night to keep alive its hopes of becoming just the second school to repeat as NIT champions.

FSU

Kinsey’s final two free throws with 10 seconds left gave the Gamecocks a 69-66 lead. “I just tried to not worry about the crowd and take my time,” said Kinsey, who made 86.1 percent of his free throws this season. “I was hoping they’d pass me the ball,” he added. “I’m the best free throw shooter on the team.” Todd Galloway’s . two free throws got Florida State (20-10) within one with 5 seconds left and the Seminoles stole the inbounds pass, but Galloway’s desperation jumper was blocked by Rocky Trice as the game ended. The Gamecocks thought they had the game won in regulation when Renaldo Balkman banked in a short jumper at the buzzer with the game tied at 58, but officials ruled it was too late. “I thought it should’ve counted,” said South Carolina head coach Dave Odom, who argued vociferously with the referees about their decision that forced the overtime. “[The players] were coercing me to come into the huddle and let’s get the next play started. They weren’t there with their heads down, it was the opposite.” Balkman’s tip-in and Tre Kelley’s layup gave South Carolina a quick 62-58 lead in the overtime period, but Alexander Johnson hit a pair offree throws and A1 Thornton scored underneath to tie it at 62.

WEIYITAN/THE CHRONICLE

Tuesday's loss to South Carolina ended the Seminoles'season with a 20-10 record. Kelley then drove the lane again for a layup and South Carolina didn’t trail again. “When we’ve played well, he’s done well,” Odom said. It’s the third straight 20-win season for the Gamecocks, who advance to meet Cincinnati Thursday with a spot in the NIT semifinals in New York City at stake. They are trying to become the first team since St. John’s in 1943 and 1944 to win successive NIT titles. Kelley scored 17 points for the Gamecocks. Kinsey, a senior from Tampa, finished with 14 points, Trice 12 and Brandon Wallace 11. Balkman had eight SEE GAMECOCKS ON PAGE 14

THE TRAIN from page 11 Welcome aboard The Train, J.R. We’ve saved you a window seat. By the middle of the second half, I was worried less about questions like “Will Duke be able to handle Pops MensahBonsu?” and more about questions like “How did JJ. Redick manage to begin his celebratory fist pump while on the way to the ground after making a ridiculous reverse lay-up?” Mind-numbingly bored America may have missed it, but diis was fist-pumping at its finest—instead of waiting to land, Duke’s superstar guard got his pump on while he was airborne and horizontal. Let’s see Mr. Morrison do that (if he hasn’t killed too many brain cells from repeatedly beating himself in the forehead with a basketball). Anyway, it’s on to Atlanta, as the Blue Devils continue with a secret goal of playing every Tournament game in a major city along 1-85. Maybe the NCAA will move the Final Four to Petersburg, Va. Coach K actually won’t be riding The Train down to Atlanta. As all of America found out over the weekend, he’s found alternative transportation. The most important part of leadership maybe trust, as long as it’s not built Ford tough. “I got my Tahoe today,” Krzyzewski deadpanned. “I’m looking forward to putting my dogs in it, cutting wood and being a real man.” (Pause to imagine Duke’s 59-year-old coach wielding an ax to fell a 100-footredwood while two golden retrievers gambol in the burbling brook beside him. Coach K, an American Revolution.) Even if the “Tahoe” stalls on the way to Atlanta (real men drive stick, duh) and Krzyzewski doesn’t make it, Duke’s coaching would still be better than LSU’s. Tiger coach John Brady has won a grand total of four NCAA Tournament games in his nine years as head coach—two in 2000 and two last week—despite coaching three SEC Players of the Year and four SEC Freshmen of the Year. Last year, with both the best player and the best freshman in the conference, LSU won zero tournament games. Louisiana State’s media guide also notes that 12 players have earned their diplomas during the eight years on Brady’s watch.

Watch out Bob Huggins, Brady’s breathing down your neck. But there’s no reason to rip on Brady just because he hasn’t really won in the Tournament and he doesn’t really graduate that many players. After all, it’s not like those are the two purposes a college basketball coach serves at a university or anything. Check out his game plan for Thursday. He thinks if his team can get to the foul line, “it may give us an advantage.” Hey coach, It might also give you an advantage if you can score more points than Duke. Just maybe. His plan for guarding JJ. Redick is “We’ll kind of see what happens.” Imagine his pre-game pep talk: “Come on guys, let’s get out there and see what

happens!” Hey John, when Duke beats you Thursday, do you want a window seat on The Train, or an aisle? We’ll try not to put you next to Big Baby, he probably needs two seats. Choo, choo.

ANTHONY CROSS/THE CHRONICLE

Sheiden Williams is averaging 23 points and 16 rebounds in the NCAA Tournament.

No Stomach Left Behind 41

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THE CHRONICLE

141WEDNESDAY, MARCH 22, 2006

MCROBERTS from page 11 showed flashes of his athleticism and talent. But after being named to the ACC AllTournament Second Team and notching his second double-double of the season against George Washington March 18, no one can question his value to the Blue Devils in their national title hopes. Maybe it was the expectations associated with being the McDonald’s High School Player of the Year, but most considered Mcßoberts’ start rocky. After coming off the bench in the team’s first game of the year, the 6-foot-10 forward started the next 15 games of the season but only reached double figures in scoring five times. Then in Duke’s contest against Clemson Jan. 14, things bottomed out. Senior Lee Melchionni started the second half in place of Mcßoberts, and the freshman played just two minutes in the period. Following the game, Melchionni gave him some advice. “‘Come back Monday and be ready to go,”’ Melchionni recalled telling Mcßoberts. “There are going to be games that we need him and he’s going to win games for us.” The freshman said it was one of the countless lessons he learned from his elder teammates that have helped turn his season around Coming off the bench the next two games, Mcßoberts played just more than 15 minutes per contest, and the freshman suffered the first defeat of his college career against Georgetown Jan. 21. After the

loss, though, Mcßoberts learned another important lesson that aided his growth. “After we lost to Georgetown, his role on the team was laid out for him and explained —where he would be more of a post presence,” Melchionni said. “He’s not going to play great every game, but he has really stepped up his game and played the way he is capable of playing.” Mcßoberts was reinserted into the starting lineup and continued to gain confidence, but with so much to learn, he said it was a gradual process. “You think you’re talking, but you’re not talking enough. You’re not talking at the right time or to the right people,” Mcßoberts said of one of the adjustments he has had to make. The Carmel, Ind. native said he cannot pinpoint a moment when it finally clicked, but his teammates noticed a change in Mcßoberts’ approach to games. “I think a really good game for him was when we played at Boston College [Feb. I],” Williams said of Mcßoberts’ 14-point, fiverebound performance. “He had a face of a guy who has been in this program for a while. He was so comfortable and so poised in that game, knocking down big free throws, rebounding and leading fast breaks. That was one of the first times I saw Josh having a mature look on his face when he’s out there in a close game like that.” Since that contest, Mcßoberts has scored in double figures in nine of Duke’s 14 games and has shown that same brilliance he did in the McDonald’s game as a high school senior.

MICHAEL CHANG/THE CHRONICLE

After struggling early in the season, freshman Josh Mcßobertshas blossomed into a reliable contributorforDuke.

Against Wake Forest in the semifinals of the ACC Tournament he threw down a reverse dunk, and against George Washington in the second round of the NCAAs, he faked a behind-the-back pass before hitting a short floater in the paint. He’s playing with confidence and has emerged as a consistent contributor, which

GAMECOCKS from page 13 points and a game-high 13 rebounds.

Johnson led Florida State with 22 points and 10 rebounds while Isaiah Swann scored 13 ofhis 16 points in the second half. Swann scored 10 of those points during a 13-0 run that boosted the Seminoles into a 59-44 lead that grew to 52-46 with 5:31 left. “It took awhile to get him under control,” said Odom, who recalled previous Florida State guards Charlie Ward and Sam Cassell from his days coaching at Wake Forest. Bryce Sheldon’s three-point basket capped a 7-0 run that put South Carolina

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spells good news for the Blue Devils. “For him to be a low-post presence and

also getting his hands on defensive rebounds was a big boost for our basketball team,” Williams said after Duke’s secondround win. “He’s finally putting steps together and becoming more consistent. Hopefully he’ll take this game on to Adanta.” back into the lead at 53-52 and the teams scrambled to the finish. Florida State coach Leonard Hamilton thought his team lost its chance to put the game away at that point. “During that period is where we lost control of the game,” he said. “We had opportunities to keep them at bay. We missed a layup and a couple rebounds we didn’t get. During that little period is where we lost all control of the game.” Still Hamilton’s team bounced back from last year’s 12-19 record and achieved the school’s first winning season in the ACC since the 1992-93 season. “I guess all things have to come to an end,” Hamilton said.

THE CHRONICLE

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1999 MITSUBISHI GALANT ES V 59,900 miles, beautiful!, loaded, Extended Warranty $7,500060 more info:www.duke.edu/~spo/car spo@duke.edu

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FILM CO. SEEKS REPS. IPMD is hiring motivated, charismatic business people for account rep positions. Must be friendly, w/ solid admin. & communication skills. Contact Patricia Mitchell 919.749.1125

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WORK IN BOLIVIA TfflS SUMMER Work for an exciting technology company in Bolivia this summer. For the 4th year, Colosa Inc. (www.colosa.com) is accepting applications for summer and fall internships. Colosa develops On Demand BPM Software. Positions available in Business Development (MBA candidates welcome), and Software Development. Stipend/ Housing allowance may be available depending on qualifications. Email: brian@colosa.com

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Applications are available at 101 West Union Building. Call 684-3811 or email dawn.hall@duke.edu for more information.

THE CHRONICL,E

161WEDNESDAY, MARCH 22,2006

W. BBALL from page 1

INTENSITY fron,page,,

“For me, it is always defense because I get so excited about blocked shots, and I think the team does a great job in encouraging that,” Bales said. “If I block a shot, I know I have a chest bump coming.” The rest of the team responded to Bales’ stellar defensive effort on the other end of the court, shooting a precise 43.8 percent in the first half as Duke took an early lead. Unable to penetrate USC’s interior zone defense early in the game, Harding flung a skip pass across the floor to an open Abby Waner. She buried her second three-pointer of the game with 13:40 left in the half, giving the Blue Devils a 15-4 lead. The basket set the Duke record for most three pointers for freshman in a season. From thereon, the Blue Devils ran the ball up and down the floor to wear down the Trojans and generated 20 fastbreak points. “We want to be a running team, re-

gardless,” junior guard Lindsey Harding said. “We are at our best when we are running, and we made a lot of effort to do that because we were up by so much. We wanted to try things because we know they only played seven deep so there are times at the ends of each half when they are exhausted, and our coach is putting in fresh legs.” Not only was Bales’ defensive effort key for the Blue Devils, she fueled her team on the offensive end of the floor as well. Weary ofBales’ size advantage down low, Kerr refused to jump out to guard the junior when she received the ball outside the key on the first possession of the game. Unchallenged, Bales calmly sank the jumper. On the ensuing possession, Kerr was reluctant again to step out on Bales as she sank an open, base-line jumper from the left side to put the Blue Devils up 4-0. After the first two makes, the forward not only continued to sink outside jumpers but penetrated inside for layups and drew fouls to earn trips to the free-throw line. Bales set a careerhigh with 22 points, shooting 8-for-9 from the field and 6-for-7 from the charity stripe. “On the stat sheet it looked like I did pretty well, but I think those first two shots set the mood and opened up the lane so much,” Bales said. “We had a couple high-low shots and inside moves.” Senior guard Monique Currie was not as sharp as Bales from the floor against

day’s

contest

and Duke already ahead,

70-44, sophomore reserve Chante Black launched herself nearly horizontally in

WEIYITAN/THE CHRONICLE

The Blue Devils have won by an average of 46.5 points in the NCAA Tournament'sfirst two rounds. the Trojans, hitting only four of her 13 shot attempts. But she managed four assists on the game, making her the first ACC player in history to record 2,000 points, 800 rebounds, 400 assists, and 200 steals in a career. Unwilling to allow the Trojans to claw their way back into the game after a 39-22 halftime advantage, the Blue Devils relentlessly worked the Trojans defense as they rapidly swung the ball around the three-point line. Though the Blue Devils held a comfortable lead for the entire game, they poured it on later with scoring from their bench. Sophomores Laura Kurz and Emily Waner combined for three three-pointers to push Duke to a 34-point blowout of USC. “They have a great inside game, and play around the perimeter real well,” head coach Mark Trakh said. “They are built for this tournament right now. That’s why I think they can go pretty deep.”

Duke 85, Southern California 51 22 29 51 39 46 85

Southern California (19-12) Duke (28-3) 27 32 29 33 36 31 2 10

laskowial

Kerr LeNoir Gnekow

Murphy Hagiya

Travers Parker TEAM Blocks FG%

Smith Waner, E. Kurz Waner, A. Black

Foley Gay TEAM blocks FG%

0-1 0-1 0-4 1-3 1-6 0-4 0-0 1-1

0-00111 1-3 6 11 2 0-0 0 5 4 3 2-2 5 11 1 4-4 10 3 5 3 3-5 3 1 4 3 0-0 1 0 0 0 0-0 0 0 01 3 1

13 6 5 15 5 0 5

Kerr (1), Gnekow (1), Murphy (1), Parker (1 Ist Half; 28.0, 2nd Half: 32.4, Game: 30.6

Williams Currie Bales

Harding

1 6-16 3-10 1-5 5-15 1-7 0-0 2-4

21 29 26 25 18 4 8 17 20 21 11

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4-13 8-9 2-4 2-8 1-3 2-4 3-7 2-7 3-6 0-1

1-5 0-0 0-1 0-1 1-3 2-3 2-6 0-0 2-3 0-0

TA 5-5 6-7 0-1 2-2 0-0 0-0 1-2 0-2 0-0 0-0

8 9 9 6 6 0 1 4 6 2 3 5

1 41 4 0 0 11 2 6 2 2 4 4 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 6 1 1 3 1 4 1 0 0 0 1

9 14 22 4 6 3 6 9 4 8 0

Bales (6), Currie (2), Black (1), Gay (1) Ist Half: 43.8, 2nd Half: 45.7, Game: 44.8

SWEET

I san

an effort to grab a rebound, finally crashing to the floor under a Trojan player. Earlier in the half, the Blue Devils grabbed three offensive rebounds on a single possession before junior Alison Bales powered home a layup while being fouled. “One of the key words that we’ve always used throughout the season is ‘relentless,’” freshman Abby Waner said. “Especially around tourney time we need to be relentless and going after loose balls and making the hustle plays is part of that.” From the tip-off to the closing buzzer last night, Duke pushed the floor every chance it got, always looking for quick outlet passes to Lindsey Harding and Wanisha Smith, followed by rapid dishes to streaking guards Waner and Monique Currie. The Blue Devil’s hurried style led to 20 fast break points for the team. Harding, midway through the first half, dove over two fallen USC players and nearly hit the scorers table while chasing a loose ball. It was just another play for a deep Duke roster that has seemed to never tire or relent thus far in the Tournament. The fruits of the Blue Devils hard labor have been apparent. They have out-rebounded their opponents 119-56 in the first two rounds of the Tournament, and have posted 33 total secondchance points. The stingy man-to-man defense and stifling trapping that have been staples of the first two contests allowed Duke to set a record for lowest point total allowed in NCAA Tournament history Sunday and kept the three-point-reliant Trojans to just 15 percent from beyond the arc last night. “I’m so proud of this team,” head coach Gail Goestenkors said. “Our focus, our intensity, our practices have been the best of the season for two weeks straight.” With their effort, the Blue Devils have now reached the Sweet 16 for the ninth consecutive time under Goestenkors’ leadership. But the attitude of this squad has clearly shown that it has no plans of slowing down before reaching the championship in Boston, where a win would mark the program’s first ever national title. “Hustle and heart—you can’t just turn it on and off—you have to do it all the time,” Harding said. “We want to win. We want to win the National Championship —we know we can do that.”

imiru

WEIYITAN/THE

CHRONICLE

Duke's defensive pressure has yielded 20 blocks and 22 steals in its last two games.

THE CHRONICLE

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 22,

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THE CHRONICLE

MARCH 22, 2006

In the here and now doesn’t look forward to a more time addressing “the now.” Yet “the now” was a component of speech from President Brodhead? His friendly demeanor, the speech conspicuously absent. In addistinctive intonation and witticism-rid- dressing the future, the president first died oratory style have put him among gave a comprehensive and characteristithe most beloved campus figures just 18 cally witty rundown of the history of unimonths into his tenure. versifies. He then transitioned into a description of where we’re headed, Tuesday afterfrom elements of the strategic noon, our president StaffeditOllal plan—globalization, for one; makgave such a speech, intended as a sequel of sorts to his popu- ing Duke enticing for top-tier faculty, for lar Q&A session held last year around another—to the tangibles of Central the same time. This year, sparse atten- Campus. Aided by digital renderings of dance and a different subject entirely the future Central, the president’s presmade the speech a whole new ballgame. entation was informative and easily diIf this is to be an annual tradition, we gestible—a veritable snapshot of what question the benefit of discussing al- lies ahead for the University, And it was to the benefit of both most exclusively the University’s longterm goals. Addressing students person- audience members and the president ally and openly only once a year in this that the presentation was meant as an format should mean remembering this overview. Most students hardly want key fact: We are a transient population; to hear the nitty-gritty details of the we turn over every four to five years, strategic plan (hence their absence Sparse attendance, we are inclined to Tuesday). And President Brodhead believe, was not due to poor advertising; should hardly be charged with deconrather, general apathy when it comes to structing the plan’s tedious language learning about the University’s future is for the audience, most likely the culprit. Yet a few details could have enEver in flux, it would seem most ad- hanced what was advertised as a stuvantageous to both parties to spend dent-president conversation. In which

Who

There’s this one sink, we call it ‘the crotch sink, because it sprays right into your crotch. ’

Senior Nick Peach on the problematic plumbing in his Craven Quadrangle bathroom. See story page 3.

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Inc. 1993

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TheChronicleis published by the Duke Student Publishing Company, Inc., a non-profitcorporation independentof Duke University. The opinions expressed in this newspaper are not necessarily those of Duke University, its students, faculty, staff, administration or trustees. Unsigned editorials represent the majority view of the editorialboard. Columns, letters and cartoons represent the views of theauthors. To reach theEditorial Office at 301 Flowers Building, call 684-2663 or fax 684-4696. To reach the Business Office at 103 West Union Building, call 684-3811. To reach the Advertising Office at 101 West Union Building call 684-3811 or fax 684-8295. Visit The Chronicle Online at http://www.chronicle.duke.edu. 2006 The Chronicle,Box 90858, Durham, N.C. 27708. All rights reserved. No part of this publication maybe reproduced in any form without the prior, written permission of theBusiness Office. Each individ®

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Yhung,

healthy

need you. That was the underlying message I got while sitting through a statistics-filled PowerPoint presentation on Duke’s student health insurance plan at Monday

LETTERS POLICY

TOM MENDEL, Photography Editor ADAM EAGLIN, City & State Editor ALEX FANAROFF, Sports Managing Editor CORINNE LOW, Recess Editor VARUN LELLA, Recess Photography Editor MINGYANG LIU, Wire Editor KAREN HAUPTMAN, Online Editor

the primary causal factor in later-in-life alumni donations. Loving this University is the reason people emphatically recommend it to others, is the reason people return for the Carolina game or to see the Gardens in bloom, is the reason the von der Heydens and the Bostocks and the Fitzpatricks want to make bigger and better facilities a part of this campus. But if the fundamentals of our hereand-now experience aren’t addressed by the man with all the answers, what does that say about priority placed on current students? The job of a university president is difficult, moreso given the job’s additional scrutiny of late. He or she must possess a rare set of skills—an ability to fundraise and gladhand alumni; an ability to act as the most venerableand most visible intellectual in an academic community. President Brodhead is both of these things, but he is something more: He bills himself as our friendly neighborhood president, the wise Dumbledore down the hall. And so he is. Let’s make the most of that relationship and start a chat right now, in the now, about the now.

Defection of young, healthy men

ontherecord

Est. 1905

facets of the plan did students have the oft-mentioned and apparently important input, for example? Other important details—like the fact that the highlighted parking garage President Brodhead pointed out in the Central blueprints will in fact not be student parking, as was insinuated, or the fact that main thoroughfare Duke Way will be a pedestrians- and bicycles-only zone—were omitted altogether. But the idea of “the now” remains most important. The slogan accompanying ads for the speech billed it as a chance for students to “shape the future” ofDuke. Instead, the speech seemed to merely inform students of the shape Duke is already taking. When asked about what students should be expecting in the interim, before Central’s completion, President Brodhead stated that the West Union building should have more offerings, perhaps music practice rooms. That’s all fine and good—we could not agree more. But it seems a small answer for a rather large question. It’s an undeniable fact that loving this University, right here, right now, is

night’s

men;

Please don’t defect. We

preeti aroon aim

for the stars

GPSC meeting. Currently, students pay $1,589 for insurance. That’s 50 percent higher than the $1,063 students paid just two years ago. As a result, students under 26—who were repeatedly referred to in the GPSC meeting as “young, healthy males”—have been defecting from Duke’s student health insurance plan and privately purchasing cheaper individual plans. Sadly, those of us who aren’t young, healthy and/or male don’t have that luxury. To join a private, individual plan, applicants have to complete an extensive medical history questionnaire. If you’re older, if you’re female or if you have a pre-existing condition such as allergies, diabetes or an anxiety disorder, then you are typically charged a higher cost or are outright rejected. Thus, expensive students—those over 25, female and/or unhealthy—remain on Duke’s plan, which accepts all students at the same price. Any student of economics or public policy should now know the phenomenon I’m describing—adverse selection. As inexpensive students—the young, healthy males—exit Duke’s plan, the plan becomes more concentrated with expensive students, which drives up insurance costs to levels that are increasingly unaffordable to the very people who need healthcare the most. Monday’s presentation included a recommendation for age banding, a structural change that would address adverse selection head-on. Next year students under 26 would pay $1,469, those 26 to 34 would pay $1,541, those 35 to 44 would pay $1,939 and those older than 45 would pay $2,791. Given that all students, regardless of their age, currently pay $1,589, it’s clear who the winners and the losers would be. Let me emphasize that age banding is just a recommendation at this point. (If you have feelings either way, e-mail GPSC at gpsc@duke.edu.) Age banding represents just one of the many ethical dilemmas that plague health instirance. Just as younger students currently subsidize the higher medical costs incurred by older students, single students subsidize students with families. During the 2003-2004 academic year, single students paid $1,063 for health

insurance but only rang up an average of $757 in medical costs. Meanwhile, students with families paid $2,282 for insurance but rang up an average of $4,773 in medical costs. Similarly, if the data were available, it would probably show that men subsidize women, slim people subsidize obese people, non-smokers subsidize smokers and gym rats subsidize coach potatoes. From a philosophical viewpoint, how much of this subsidization is fair, both at Duke and in the United States at large? On one hand, there’s the individualistic, personal-responsibility-oriented viewpoint; Why should I, as a slim, marathon-running vegetarian, have to pay the healthcare costs of a fat smoker who goes to McDonald’s three times a week? On the other hand, there’s the compassionate, we’re-all-in-this-together viewpoint: Society should help people who have the bad luck of being afflicted by asthma or hypoglycemia. Plus, people who are young and childless today are likely to one day be old and have kids. I lean more toward the compassionate, we’re-allin-this-together viewpoint even though it means subsidizing people who make poor lifestyle choices. For ethical reasons, I want people with ulcers, hay fever, depression, thyroid disorders, spina bifida and cancer to have access to affordable healthcare. For pragmatic reasons, I want people to have affordable healthcare so that they can be economically productive workers and receive relatively inexpensive routine preventative care rather than expensive emergency care when untreated health problems turn into emergencies. As I sat through last night’s health insurance presentation, I came to the conclusion that the equity issues raised by age banding, single students’ subsidization of families and the defection of young, healthy Duke simply can not solve on men are problems its own. Without outside help from effective public policies at the state and/or national levels, Duke and other institutions will perennially face the problem of getting enough inexpensive people to remain in a plan and subsidize the expensive people. Presently, my sentiment is that it would be more practical for Duke’s most expensive students to be subsidized by Americans as a whole rather than the shrinking population of young, healthy males on Duke’s plan. Young, healthy males may be able to defect from Duke, but it’s harder to defect from the United States. Preeti Aroon is a graduate student in public policy. Her column runs every other Wednesday. Toss in your two cents at: http://preetiontheweb. blogspot. com

THE CHRONICLE

MARCH 22, 2006119

commentaries

Yale’s disgrace Maybe

you’ve kept up with the news in recent weeks, and you’re as aghast as I am at some of the ideas liberal academics have been promoting. There’s the teacher in Denver who compared Bush to Hitler, the professor in Boulder, Colorado who said the WTC victims were little Eichmanns and, my all time favorite, David Graber, who hopes for “the right virus” to wipe out humanity and reclaim the planet for forest

W 111

)

creatures

As you may have gathjeremy marshall ered from my previous columns, I am very liberal, duke underground yet even I am disgusted at the ridiculous ideas the elitist universities in this country are promoting. Sometimes their desire to be politically correct and promote diversity just seems to get muddled in their strange and esoteric behavior. This month, it became widely publicized that Yale University admitted a member of the Taliban regime to earn an undergraduate degree. The new student, SayedRahmatullah Hashemi, joined the Taliban in 1994 and became a diplomatic envoy in 1998. If you’ve seen Fahrenheit 9/11, you might remember Rahmatullah. In one scene, a woman lifts a burka and accuses the Taliban of mistreating women, to which he responds, “I’m really sorry to your husband. He might have a very difficult time with you.” Yes, it’s true: This fiend now attends Yale. How could Yale possibly admit a member of the Taliban, especially the man who defended their heinous policies? For example, he defended the destruction of timeless art treasures the Buddhas of Bamiyan —on the basis that they were repugnant to Islam. He also defended a policy of exterminating the Hazaras, an ethnic group residing in central Afghanistan, 15,000 of whom were once killed in a single day. Yale currently excludes military recruiters from campus, arguing that they discriminate against homosexuals. Nonetheless, Rahmatullah, who was part of a government that smashed gays under brick walls, was welcomed to New Haven. Nor did Yale’s liberal monopoly object to the fact that he has defended torture and flagrant abuse of women, even though they constantiy attack the Bush administration for alleged human rights violations and helped pressure Harvard’s president to resign after making sexist comments. After being released from Bagram Air Base, even Rahmatullah expressed his surprise at not ending up at Guantanamo Bay. Besides defending the most evil regime since the Nazis, he has a fourth-grade education and never took the SATs. His admittance denied another deserving student the chance to get a quality education and study in America, and he doesn’t even have to finance his own education, contrary to Yale’s own policy for special degree students. Moreover, Yale, and the State Department, violated the 2005 REAL ID Act, which prohibits representatives of known terrorist regimes from coming to America. In their defense, Yale administrators claim he will help raise awareness of the difficult issues facing the world, and that they didn’t want to lose him to Harvard. To me and most Americans, it seems like they are inviting a known enemy, while rejecting our loyal defenders. In response to Yale’s decision, I urge you and your friends not to apply to Yale—I sure won’t. Should you apply and be rejected, chock it up to the fact that you’ve never abetted the subjugation of millions of people. We must recognize how different our universities have become from the rest of this country. More and more, most Americans look at schools like Harvardand Yale not with admiration, but disdain. Our universities should not be isolated hotbeds of extremist theory or elitist playgrounds. Instead, our universities should exist to serve the greater good of all Americans. They cannot complete this task when they persistently isolate themselves with their absurd thinking, which is growing increasingly less balanced. I hate to admit it, but David Horowitz and Students for Academic Freedom are onto something with their cries of liberal bias. Liberals love affirmative action, but not when it comes to diversity of thought. It’s been said before: The essence of being liberal is that one set ofrules exists for you and another, completely different set ofrules exists for the next person. Admitting Rahmatullah is nothing short of an insult to all the Americans who value equal rights for women, free speech, and—lest we forget 9/11—their lives. While his defenders claim he has changed his ways, he will forever be a blemish in Yale’s history. To be fair to Rahmatullah, maybe even a Taliban ambassador can leant to eat tofu and soy, only buy fair trade bananas, drive an SUV to Earth Day rallies and run from debate with a condescending “hmph!”

■mm

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Jeremy Marshall is a Trinity sophomore. His column runs every other Wednesday.

The Book

of Czaja

1:1

forced to study a foreign language. From now on, all few weeks ago I had an interesting conversation with my roommate after I returned from a classes will be conducted in My language, English. For 10:05 class. little is the amount that a man learns in three semesters of foreign-language study, and wicked is the class Me: I’m back. that forces you to show up five times a week. Roommate (just . “Third, thou shall not utter the phrase T’m not waking up): ugggggh 1 don>t gonna lie’ in My presence. For few are the times that I want to get up actually didst think thou were lying. Me; Yeah it’s pret“Fourth, thou shall not, when dining in an establishment that boasts booths, sit by yourself at these taty tough to get up bles. For many are the times that I have seen groups of for a 12:40. people in the Loop and McDonald’s that have been Roommate (with forced to wait for a single person to vacate, his/her sarcasm); It’s not greg czaja fair. Why do we have booth. Just because thou hast reading to do, that doth to get out of our the czaj factor not give you the right to take up an entire booth with beds in order to go all ofyour books. From now on, these selfish persons, to class? whom I have found to be displeasing in My sight, shall Me (jokingly): Well, you wouldn’t have to if I had surely be smoted.” “It shall be done,” I did speak unto the Lord, all the my way. Jackpot. Lights and buzzers went off in my head. I while wondering how He became so obsessive-compulspent all day wondering what I would change if I were sive. “And what types ofperson shall we allow into Your university?” running my own university. “Thou shall not admit a person who can’t take a Unfortunately, my afternoon full of daydreaming went unrewarded, as usual. I redred for the evening, friggin’joke,” said theLord. “He who rides on the high still unable to picture what my ideal university would horse should be wary of My wrath, for he too will also be smoted. look like. “There will be no room for those at My university I was saved, however. For lo and behold, the Lord didst appear unto me who complain that they, received an A-minus instead of an A due to My professors’ liberal biases. There will be in a dream. Naturally, I prostrated myself before Him, as I was no bickering between ethnic groups—for My students surely unworthy to gaze upon His radiance. The Lord will realize that they are all part of my Chosen Peopromptly told me to stop being so silly. Apparendy, He ple—the soon to be very-very-wealthy.” “O my Lord,” I cried. “How will I get the students to is embarrassed when people prostrate themselves in front of Him, possibly because “prostrate” sounds follow me to this new university? For there have been much like “prostate” and such subjects dost make the many a time this semester when they have called upon you for mercy. I am afraid they feel forsaken.” Lord uncomfortable. “They will believe,” the Lord responded. “I will deAnd so the Lord didst proceed to answer my prayers, and charged me to establish a university that liver unto them a National Championship, a sign that I will never again flood their world with papers, exams would be pleasing in His eyes. and projects. I will usher in a new world, where the Thus spake the Lord. “First, thou shall not inhabit the space known as the Busch Light will flow like water, and the students will ‘double dormitory room,’ which I have determined to gather and make sacrifices to My name. I will protect be sinful in nature. No two people can dwell in such a you from the ALE and provide a bountiful plenty of small space without driving each other insane and parking spaces. “Now if you’ll excuse me,” concluded the Lord, “I inviting the forces of malice and evil.” to shoot another Chevy commercial.” to the Lord. “For have humbly well,” responded I I “Very have seen the hatred that these cramped spaces have Greg Czaja is a Trinity junior. His column runs every fostered in the modern-day Sodom known as Edens.” “Second,” continued the Lord. “Thou shall not be other Wednesday. >

THE CHRONICLE

21 10IWEDNESDAY, MARCH 22, 2006

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