Exclusive Interview w/ Sarah Flynn

THE EVOLVING WOMAN MAGAZINE with

SARAH FLYNN

Being a breast cancer warrior is a badge of honor you carry well. Tell us about your journey. What were some of the emotions you struggled with during that period? Where did you find support? What message of hope do you have for women facing cancer?

I will be very honest and say that this is the first time I am publicly speaking about my journey through cancer. Thank you for giving me this incredible platform to be able to share my experience with other women.

Being diagnosed with breast cancer was singularly the most terrifying moment of my life. I was diagnosed right after I turned 41, which is very young. I went to my annual exam, and my routine mammogram quickly turned into a diagnostic mammogram. Which turned into a biopsy. Which turned into surgery. Which turned into radiation. It was a cascade of tests full of bad news, and nothing can fully capture how terrifying it was to hear them say the “C” word. It was Christmastime. I was a single mom. I had just begun dating the man of my dreams. This couldn’t be happening to me.

But as a team, we kicked cancer to the curb – my kids, my (now) husband, and an incredible group of friends and family who did everything from folding my laundry to kissing away my tears. Approximately eight months later, after two lumpectomies and radiation therapy, I rang that blessed bell at the doctor’s office to celebrate being cancer free.

But it wasn’t over yet.

Almost one year later, at my final checkup with my surgeon, they found cancer again. This time, it was in both breasts, and it was two different types. The reality of the situation hit me immediately - a mastectomy was the only answer. I was grateful I had a course of action, but beside myself with anxiety and fear. The thoughts came like a flood: I was a newlywed. What would happen to my love life? I was a dancer. What would happen to my career? I was so very scared of what the future held, but there was no way I was going to let cancer win. So, on November 8th of that year, I lost both of my breasts, but I gained a beautiful future full of life and love.

Can we talk about my husband for a moment? Most men would jump ship and get as far away as they could if they had just started dating a single mom who was diagnosed with cancer. Who signs up for that when they’re dating?! Well, he obviously is not “most men”. Because of his steadfast, continual love and support, I was able to spend my energy fighting. He cared for my kids, he never missed an appointment, and he made sure I had every need met. When the second battle came, I made sure that people were checking on him. So often, we forget that the best way to help a cancer patient might be to support their spouse or partner so that they have the strength and emotional capacity to tackle the day-to-day stress of caring for them. I knew I needed to call in the troops, and my girlfriends washed my hair in my kitchen sink, organized meal trains, drove my kids to activities... it was an incredible outpouring of love, and I was so grateful to have people that kept us lighthearted and focused on healing.

For any warrior woman who is fighting the fight this moment, I offer you this: YOU WILL WIN. Rally your troops and ask for help. Your mind is a powerful weapon. Keep laughing, even if it feels artificial or inappropriate. It is so critical to your mental health and your body’s ability to maintain positive energy for healing. You will come out of this battle not only victorious, but truly valuing each day and having your life, love, and legacy completely reprioritized.

The battle with cancer was not your only hurdle to overcome. Share some of the life lessons you learned along the journey?

The lessons gained are quite simple, no matter the struggle. You are in charge of your life. No one else determines right and wrong for you. No one gets to dictate your belief systems. And certainly no one is entitled to ownership of your mind, body, or spirit. The sooner you find a community or tribe who can help you live your authentic self “out loud”, the sooner you will find yourself free to design a life you love.

What was the defining moment in your life that changed your attitude from “not having enough” and “settling for less” as normal, to creating your ideal life?

After my divorce, I was a complete wreck mentally. Fortunately, that transition was the wakeup call I needed to begin to reshape my life authentically and honestly. I began blogging and journaling in the voice of the woman I knew that I was, somewhere deep down inside -- a strong, inspi-

rational, audacious queen who was not afraid to talk about financial independence, embracing sexuality and femininity, being a box breaker, and shaking up the status quo. I called her “Lady Grey”, and not only did I start writing like her, but I also began performing on stage as her! I started a vintage burlesque and vaudeville troupe and started slowly exploring her incredible power and poise. Over time, these external exercises allowed me to step into my greatness internally, and I see no difference between Sarah Flynn and Lady Grey now. She is me!

Queens rise up, inspire, motivate, and provide guiding lights for others. What is your most precious memory about being a beauty queen? What inspired you to compete in a pageant?

This is going to sound like a total “pageant girl” answer, but my most precious memory as a queen was when I had the opportunity to host a tea party for all the local queens who were competing at the county level for the title I had won the year before. They were so excited to be together, not in front of audiences or judges, but simply to just enjoy making new friends and laughing with other young women. I was so proud.

What are some of your life’s passions?

I am a dancer. I spent my childhood at the dance studio and owned an arts academy for almost 15 years. I have been really blessed to perform everywhere from Broadway to the Sydney Olympics. I also love to write, and I am currently working on a new Lady Grey book that I think you and your readers will love! I will keep you posted on the details.

Helping empower women to take the steps needed to heal old wounds, let go of rules and expectations that do not serve them, and truly embrace their identity with boldness and confidence is probably my number one passion. From teaching young people to casting unique body types and ages in my shows, I keep working on this philosophy, trying to touch lives one at a time to change the world. What would you tell other women today if you were going to try and influence or shape their lives?

Take the first step. Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are living your authentic life or if you are trapped behind a mask or a veil.

What inspires you to live outrageously and to coach other women to the same?

Life is too short not to live outrageously! Why would you waste another day living the life some other person or system has designed for you? Step into your greatness, Queen! Embrace your vision. Leverage your gifts. Change the world in the way only YOU can. And design a life that YOU love. It is never too late to do this work, so just begin.

If you had to start over right now, what would you do differently?

Oh, good grief. So many things. I would have studied abroad and spent more time getting to experience other cultures earlier in my life. It opened my eyes to how narrow my world was when I began to see how others lived. I would travel more!

What are the things that bring you joy?

Quiet mornings. Cafés in Paris. Rodin’s sculptures. White glove service. Seeing someone light up when they discover the key to unlock a struggle. Vintage everything – hair, makeup, clothes, dance, dishes… you name it! And most of all, my family. I love the fact that my husband buys me flowers and makes me laugh all the time. I love the creativity and passion my children show in their unique pursuits.

What would you like your legacy to be remembered as?

You also can check out my podcast, Live Outrageously with Lady Grey, where I interview inspiring worldchangers about their outrageous lives and their advice on how you can live more outrageously, too. As a special offer for readers of The Evolving Woman, I’m encouraging women to schedule a “coffee talk” with me. Here is a link straight to my calendar so you can do just that! I would enjoy making beautiful connections with other women and growing our worldwide network of queens.

If you are interested in learning more about one-onone coaching, I would love to chat. You can either use the link above to book a Zoom call or you can send an email directly to my inbox at sarah@live-outrageously. com.

Websites:

Live Outrageously Coaching for Women

Live Outrageously with Lady Grey (podcast, blog)

Social Media

http://www.facebook.com/outrageousladygrey

https://www.instagram.com/lady.grey explore and pursue their dreams, to live authentically and to experience acceptance and fairness in society. I hope that when I look back, my legacy is that I have helped blaze that trail, changing lives, pushing people to think outside the box, and leading by example.

What programs do you have in the pipeline and how can women find more information?

I am so very excited to announce that I will be hosting an exclusive, intimate retreat for women in Paris in 2022, with the focus on being an “outrageous woman” and stepping into your feminine power. For more information, you can sign up to receive updates here.

You also can check out my podcast, Live Outrageously with Lady Grey, where I interview inspiring worldchangers about their outrageous lives and their advice on how you can live more outrageously, too. As a special offer for readers of The Evolving Woman, I’m encouraging women to schedule a “coffee talk” with me. H https://www.liveoutrageously.com/ ere is a link straight to my calendar so you can do just that! I would enjoy making beautiful connections with other women and growing our worldwide network of queens.

If you are interested in learning more about one-onone coaching, I would love to chat. You can either use the link above to book a Zoom call or you can send an email directly to my inbox at sarah@live-outrageously. com.

Websites:

THE EVOLVING WOMAN - 35 - MARCH 2021