Reviews

Wedding Pie is the weed equivalent of an emotional weighted blanket

You won’t be running any marathons after this strain, but you will slow down and relax, which is just as good

Do you ever get so bogged down by life that you really just need a good excuse to sleep for 12 hours straight without any disturbances or weird, vivid dreams that you have to live with the next day? Anyone? Well, dear readers, I do. Often. But, unfortunately, those opportunities are rare so I usually just take my crappy six hours of sleep and run with it. Thus is life. I have accepted the “Groundhog’s Day” cycle that is trapping yourself indoors because of COVID-19. And because I’m antisocial and would rather watch a “Forensic Files” replay on TV most days.

But not this week! This week, I got my hands on some Wedding Pie from our budtender friends at The Green House. If you’ve never heard of Wedding Pie, I guarantee you’ve heard of its parentage. This indica-leaning hybrid is a cross between Wedding Cake and Grape Pie, so I knew I was in for a real treat because I’m a real big fan of Wedding Cake.

I got even more excited when I opened up the container when I got home. Y’all. Wedding Pie is some smelly bud. But not in a bad way, more in a, “Oh HELLO! You’re about to smoke some dank weed,” type of way. Wedding Pie actually smells a bit fruity: lemony and sweet with some underlying spicy and earthy notes. This stuff is strong, so whip this out in a space where you’re trying to be subtle because Wedding Pie will out you so fast. And, to be fair, this is a strain that you should smoke loud and proud.

Which is exactly what I did.

These pretty little nugs have little flecks of auburn in them and are covered in tiny crystal trichomes which only make them that much lovelier to look at. I tried not to touch them too much, however, as it turns out that Wedding Pie is actually pretty sticky.

I hadn’t used my trusty little pipe in a minute so I dug it out of my weed drawer (yes, I have one of those), packed a bowl, and lit up. Initially, Wedding Pie tasted very earthy but the aftertaste came out very sweet and fruity, almost like inhaling a handful of berries. This stash from The Green House came in at 30% THC, so I was trying to be careful with how much I smoked. (If you’re new here, The Green Details

Wedding Pie is available at the Green House Durango, located at 730 S. Camino del Rio. For more information, visit thegreenhousecolorado.com/durango/ or call 970-247-2720.

House tends to have strains that will leave you feeling like you’re in an Air Force jet going 1,800 miles an hour.) Alas, as it usually goes with weed, I couldn’t help myself. Also, after about three puffs I was already feeling it and there was no way I was going to just leave it at three measly tokes.

Wedding Pie had an almost instant calming effect on me. I wrote in my notes, “feels like someone put an emotional weighted blanket on me.” I have no idea what an “emotional weighted blanket” means but it must be good because the notes after that are “feeling peaceful” and “feels like I’m floating on a cloud in the room.” Sober Me thinks that sounds very excellent and I’m sure Stoned Me did, too.

Wedding Pie also gave me a feeling of detachment, the kind that you hope to achieve as a wisened respectable figure that everyone goes to for advice. And, listen, if I can achieve that status as a stoned person smoking Wedding Pie on their back patio, then literally anyone can. I felt like I could solve any problem, especially when I started re-watching

“It tastes like Skittles!” This was the first phrase that came out of my friend’s mouth as soon as they tried the Wana Quick Limoncello gummies. After I tried on next, I couldn’t have agreed more. They were effing delicious and, if they weren’t a bunch of edibles, I probably would have downed the whole thing by myself. So, what is Wana’s line of fast-acting gummies exactly? Let’s get into it! One of the complaints some people have when it comes to edibles is a) how long it takes to get high, and b) how long edibles last once you do get high. As a result, it can be tough to dose. Cut to the Wana Quick line where, instead of being metabolized in the liver, Wana used nano-encapsulation technology to instead send the THC straight into your bloodstream. This way, instead of it taking anywhere from a half-hour to an hour to get stoned, it only takes roughly five to 15 minutes. The high will last you anywhere from two to four hours so you’ll still want to take it easy if you pop one of these. This month, we’re reviewing Limoncello, a hybrid that tastes like Skittles, as my friend initially stated. These gummies, which come with 5mg of THC apiece, are friggin’ delicious. I cannot overstate that. It legitimately is like eating candy. And the best part is that it’s both vegan and gluten-free so anyone can enjoy them! I’ve experienced and enjoyed Wana Quick edibles before (their Peach Bellini and Strawberry Margarita flavors), so I was psyched to try Limoncello as well. The really nice thing about these gummies is that when you eat them, you won’t feel like you’re melting onto your floor as you shove a bunch of junk food into your mouth. Wana Quick edibles are a chill, easy high that isn’t as intense as most edible highs, I’ve found. This is because when edibles are absorbed through the liver, the THC is converted into an 11-Hydroxy molecule which creates a more intense stoned experience. Because these Wana edibles are absorbed through the bloodstream, however, the TCH turns into the Delta-9-THC molecule. As a result, the effects are much less overwhelming. These Limoncello gummies made me feel floaty, like I was drifting on a comfortable cloud. It was a very giggly, smoker’s high and was all around pleasant. I didn’t feel fused with my couch or like I was about to fall asleep at a moment’s notice. Instead, I felt energetic and ready to dig into some chores I’d been avoiding all week, so my laundry basket thanks you, Wana!

As much as I love a good high that makes me wonder if I’m hearing voices from outer space, I don’t need that every Tuesday night. I’m good with a chill evening of staring dreamily at “Forensic Files” playing on my TV and being able to follow along, and I think you will be, too.

Where the grass is always greener.

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RECREATIONAL ONLY 9am - 8pm 37 County Road 232 (970) 426-4381 Bodo Park Location (Durango)

MED 9am - 6:45pm REC 9am - 9pm 72 Suttle St. Units F & G (970) 259-3674

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MED & REC 9am - 9pm 1104 E. Main St., Cortez, CO 81321 (970) 565-6500

The Alternative Resource

From page 7 mato, cilantro, arugula, lime, chipotle ranch drizzle, and house tomatillo salsa. I wasn’t sure what to expect. My friend, on the other hand, went with what seemed like a safer choice: an avocado caprese, made with fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, avocado, basil, arugula, and garlic mayo on a warm pressed ciabatta roll. We managed to toss back two more of those delicious Cure cocktails in the time it took to get our food — which was really no time at all — so by the time our plates arrived, the chatter was flowing and so was the laughter. Life was good. And those tacos? Well, they made it even better. The first thing I noticed when they arrived was that, despite having more ingredients than the tacos I grew up on, they weren’t overdone or stuffed to the gills. There was a healthy portion of each ingredient atop a lightly fried corn tortilla.

Each piece of the taco pie played well with each other, too. The warm carne held its own against the loud flavor of the queso fresco, and the burst of green bite from the cilantro was just what I needed to feel at home with this taco. And that tortilla? Well, let’s just say it could have been a Rio Grande Valley staple. And that’s saying something. The same held true for the avocado taco, which got just enough kick from the drizzle of the chipotle ranch to set it apart. The tomatillo salsa didn’t hurt, either. As with the cocktails, I downed those tacos in what felt like seconds flat. Before I could even ask to try my dining partner’s sandwich, it was gone. Erased from the plate like it had never existed. I’ll just assume it was good.

After a few more cocktails, we rolled back into the chilly Durango night air, satiated, with bellies full of booze and carbs.

It won’t be long before I’m back at Derailed to indulge in a few more of those cocktails, and a few more of those tacos. I may not be able to easily get those beloved south Texas carne asada tacos these days, but the tacos at Derailed will do just fine. Just fine.

— Angelica Leicht Derailed Pour House is located at 725 Main Ave., Durango. You can reach them at (970) 247-5440 or find them online at derailedpourhouse.com. — Sir Blaze Ridcully

The Silver Label live resin vape cartridge is going to be your new weed best friend

As an avid, enthusiastic, and regular user of the marijuana plant, you could say I’ve built up quite a tolerance over time. It’s rare that I feel like a product truly tosses me out on my rear end and makes me feel like I just went into a Star Wars hyperdrive without ever leaving my couch.

Well, fellow stoners, I have news. Green Dot Labs got me. And they got me good. After testing out their Silver Label live resin vape cartridge, I don’t think I’ll ever come even close to being as stoned as I was that evening. In fact, I think I said as much multiple times to my friend who I was smoking with until they told me, they got it. I was high. I couldn’t help it though - my brain was enamored with how completely flattened I felt. Y’all. Green Dot Labs’ Silver Label live resin cartridges are an absolute hit.

But don’t just take it from me. Green Dot Labs describes their Silver Label line like this:

“Sourced using retired strains from our Black Label garden and with flower from top Colorado cultivators, the GDL Silver Label line highlights crowd-pleasing extracts. Silver Label products are processed using the same careful solvent-based extraction methods as our Black Label line.”

If you don’t know much about Green Dot Labs, here’s the lowdown — founded in 2014, this company is family-owned by Alana and Dave Malone and exclusively focuses on cannabis extracts. Green Dot Labs uses pure, uncut live resin extracted from their Boulder grow in their signature Black Label Live Resin cartridges.

But back to the vape.

The Silver Label line comes in various strains such as Time Traveler, Dolato, and GG 4. The strains come in 510 thread cartridges so they’re attachable to most vapes on the market. But we especially need to discuss the vape itself because it is a beaut. Bright yellow with a matte finish, I received many a compliment while smoking that thing. While the bright colors aren’t subtle, the smell is and you can easily slip it in and out of your pocket to use at a moment’s notice.

I, personally, recommend smoking Green Dot Labs’ Silver Label live resin vape cartridge if you’re planning for a night in because there is no damn way you’re gonna be productive after you start toking on this beast. Even the most avid of stoners may find themselves fused to the couch after enjoying an evening with this vape.

I, for one, could not follow a thing after taking only a handful of hits from this vape. I was swept off my feet immediately and refused to move from my favorite position on my couch for nothing. Well, except for a bag of chocolate chips I had stashed in my fridge. I was saving them for a rainy day, but the black hole of hunger that is the munchies worked too. Frankly, I’m surprised my old self didn’t pass out immediately after my first toke. That seems to be my modus operandi most of the time when inhaling a large amount of cannabis. I will say, however, I slept very soundly which was absolutely fantastic as another great part of being old is the uncanny ability to sleep much less than you used to yet still somehow always be tired.

If you have a vape at the ready, you’ll want to snag some of Green Dot Labs Silver Line live resin cartridges ASAP. You’ll never sleep so well in your life and you’ll never want to leave your couch again, which is just fine.

— Sir Blaze Ridcully

From page 19

“90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way” and started doling out advice to the people on screen who obviously could not hear me. I can honestly say I don’t remember any of the obviously grand and helpful things I kept yelling at the TV. Yes, everyone.

Wedding Pie turned me into a dating expert for all of three hours until I passed out with a handful of garlic and parmesan kettle chips shoved in my mouth. Y’all, I got to say, after smoking Wedding Pie, I had some of the best sleep in my life. No, I didn’t pass out for an entire 12 hours but I got my tight eight in and I didn’t wake up once like I normally do, typically from tossing and turning or half-awake freaking out over a strange sound I heard.

If you’re experiencing a lot of anxiety or struggling to get a good night of sleep like me, I cannot recommend Wedding Pie enough. It’ll be some of the best sleep you’ve had in a long time and it makes it so much easier to wind down before you go to bed. Trust me. Those dark circles under your eyes will thank you for your service.

— Sir Blaze Ridcully The area’s best selection of vaping products

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