The ultimate holiday weed survival guide

» Dreading the holidays with your family? Don’t you worry. Just pack up these essentials and you’ll be all set.

The holidays are rolling around quickly, despite how much we’re all trying to put them off. And that means you’re probably going to soon be stuck in some situations you don’t really want to be in. Try as you might to forget it, the reality is that we all have someone in our family who just can’t help themselves. They’re addicted to saying shit that makes us want to flip the table in their direction. But unless you want to disappoint your mom again with a rant, or just not show up, you’re going to need to find a few smart ways to avoid the awkwardness that is family time during the holidays. And by that we mean you need to figure out how to get stoned around your family, especially if you’re traveling out of town, without drawing attention to yourself. Not sure where to start? Well, the good news is that this little guide will give you a few tips on how to build the perfect stoner survival kit, which will almost certainly make things a lot less stressful.

Survival guide, step one: Gather the essentials (read: edibles).

gather some basic essentials. We suggest you start off with packing some edibles to take with you, which will let you be discreet when you need to be.

The last thing you need is your mom making you search around the house for the skunk she smelled in the room you’re staying in.

Sativa edibles are a great option for daytime use when you’re stuck with the family. They’ll get you stoned and give you that extra little push to tolerate the bullshit and monotony of sitting around watching your dad’s favorite shows (football) or running last minute errands with your mom…probably to get more cranberry sauce.

Indica edibles will come in clutch to send you off to sleepytown when you want the day to end a little quicker than usual. Sure, you might stay up late while you’re at your place, but when the family is lights out earlier than your normal bedtime, you can match their sleep schedule with a strong indica edible. As an added bonus, taking a few of these will knock some serious hours off your trip.

Survival guide, step two: Stock up on vape carts.

Vape cartridges are another necessity when building a holiday toolkit. You can’t beat the discretion that vape cartridges offer — and if you choose wisely, you don’t even have to step outside to make use of it. (Side note: We’re big fans of the fruit-flavored Sano Genetics vapes. They taste like magic and get you stoned. What could be better than that?)

As with the edibles, though, you should be sure to choose your strain or

type wisely. Chances are you don’t want an energetic high from a sativa if everyone is crashing out — especially if you are going to be forced to tiptoe around in the dark.

Cartridges can also work super well for other times, like when you’re forced to go on a long walk with your sibling or cousins. You’ll have enough to share, and won’t have to worry about coming back smelling like “dope,” at least according to your Vietnam vet dad.

Survival guide, step three: Consider some weed food, dude.

Perhaps you’ve always wanted to see your dad relax (for a change) or help your grandma get ripped out of her mind so she’s not talking about your nonexistent love life. Instead, she’s talking about her plants or the nosey ass new neighbors who moved into her neighborhood she has lived in for 60 years. Or maybe you just want to offer up some much-needed weed sustenance to the family members you’ve always been cool with.

Well, that brings us to the infused foods — the ones that you may want to offer up at the festivities in order to watch your family get lit. Things like infused cookies or brownies work well and can blend right in with the other desserts on the table. You can make them OR buy them; your call. And, as a bonus, your mom will be impressed with your contribution to the holiday dinner for once.

Just make sure to give people a heads up that those aren’t your mama’s brownies beforehand. Otherwise, your grabby aunt may overdo it and end up couch-locked for hours on the one comfortable couch in the house. And nobody needs to deal with that mess at a holiday gathering, now do they?

Survival guide, step four: Don’t forget the joints.

While perhaps not the most discreet of the options, it may also be wise to take a joint or two with you. The reality is that nothing beats smoking a joint — especially when you are hiding from your annoying relatives while out back and smoking with some of the cool people in your family. In fact, we still sneak off with our cousins every year to the skate park or just walk around grandma’s neighborhood to pass a joint around.

There’s just something about the communal aspect of smoking a joint that simply can’t be beat. Each year, it just takes us back to the first time we smoked a Thanksgiving joint with our cousins way back in the mid ’90s.

With any luck, these tips will help you navigate the dreaded family time that’s on the horizon. And, maybe getting stoned and talking up a storm with your dad while he is high on the infused cranberry sauce you brought will bring y’all together for a change. He may even tell you about that time back in ’78 when he smoked a joint with your super straightlaced aunt in the parking lot of the Macky Auditorium when Sprinsteen’s Darkness on the Edge of Town stop in Boulder was canceled. But only if you’re lucky.

Navigating the world of cannabis can be a daunting journey, especially if you’re new to weed. There are so many terms to learn, and trying to remember what each of them means can result in flashbacks of sitting (read: sleeping) through high school science classes.

And that’s especially true when it comes to cannabinoids. There are a whopping 150 cannabinoids out there that we currently know of — all of which are found in the cannabis plant. And it’s important to know what they do.

But we aren’t going to break down all of them for you. That would be absurd. What we are going to try and do instead is to simplify them for you.

Not only do we want you to know what you’re putting in your body, but we want you to sound like a pro the next time you are having a conversation with a buddy or are trying to understand the lingo at your favorite dispensary. Here’s what you should know.

THC

Tetrahydrocannabinol, also known as THC, is the most well-known and recognizable cannabinoid found in marijuana. This cannabinoid is responsible for giving you that textbook high we all know and love.

Until very recently, THC levels were one of the only ways that the quality of cannabis flower was measured.

When THC is inhaled, it goes into your lungs, and is then absorbed into your blood. From there, it reaches your brain, where it binds to receptors.

When you take edibles, the THC enters your blood through your digestive system and attaches to your receptors — just like when it’s inhaled. Once it hits the receptors, you begin to feel the high, which is typically experienced as an overall sense of euphoria in your body and your mind.

CBD

The second most prevalent cannabinoid found in marijuana is Cannabidiol, also known as CBD. This cannabinoid is a broad spectrum, and it has been highly effective at treating illnesses like certain types of epilepsy, anxiety, depression, inflammation and chronic pain — all without the feeling of being “high.” What’s more is that CBD has also been shown to alleviate the adverse effects of feeling too high, which can happen when you ingest too much THC. (Trust us; we know.)

That’s because CBD affects serotonin receptors by acting as a substitute for serotonin. Serotonin is a powerful substance that stabilizes our moods and helps us feel less anxiety, which is what can feel overwhelming when you’re too high.

And, CBD also interacts with the TRPV1 receptor, which affects inflammation, body temperature, and the perception of pain. In addition, CBD indirectly deactivates or blocks the GPR55 receptor, which is associated with cancer cell growth and bone loss.

CBN

As THC ages, it turns into the cannabinoid CBN. As such, the easiest way to find CBN is to find aged flowers.

But while CBN comes from THC, it doesn’t have the same psychoactive properties. CBN is its own molecule and does not contain THC or any other psychoactive compound that could deliver mind-altering highs, which means it won’t result in a positive drug test.

CBN has very specific effects, and

it typically contributes to sleep and decreasing anxiety. It’s considered to be the most sedative out of all the compounds found in cannabis and was recently discovered from decomposed THC.

Thanks to those sedative effects, CBN can be pretty darn useful for treating insomnia, according to anecdotal evidence — and the early stages of research show that it may help aid with sleep as well.

CBG

Cannabigerol, or CBG, is often referred to as the mother of all cannabinoids, as other cannabinoids are derived from cannabigerolic acid — which is just the acidic form of CBG.

CBG is generally found in smaller quantities than other cannabinoids found in cannabis plants. Most strains of the plant only contain about 1% of CBG.

Due to its rarity, the price of CBG tends to be much higher than other cannabinoids. But while the price tag can be steep, there are many potential benefits of CBG, which has led to its recent popularity.

CBG works by binding to both CB1 and CB2 receptors, and researchers think it strengthens the function of anandamide. Anandamide is a neurotransmitter that has a role in enhancing pleasure, motivation, regulating appetite, promoting sleep, and reducing pain.

Unlike THC, though, CBG will not give you a high.

THC-A

Tetrahydrocannabinolic acid, or THC-A, is a precursor to THC. THC-A is converted to THC through decarboxylation, which is the fancy word for when weed is heated up to the right temperatures. Since smoking is the most common method of consuming cannabis, the high heat from the flame typically destroys the THC-A in the cannabis.

THC-A has been shown to be a pain reliever, appetite stimulant, antioxidant, and anti-inflammatory. The best way to consume THCA is through juicing a raw cannabis plant. Scientists also believe that THCA interacts with serotonin receptors, which may ease anxiety.

CBD-A

Cannabidiolic acid, also known as CBD-A, is a cannabinoid that can be obtained from raw cannabis. It is the cannabinoid precursor to CBD. CBD-A is converted to CBD after cannabis is dehydrated or burned, and it is a non-psychoactive substance. Studies have shown CBD-A to be effective as an antioxidant, analgesic, as an antibacterial, and it also potentially prohibits the spread of cancer cells.

CBC

Cannabichromene, or CBC, was discovered over 50 years ago and is considered one of the big six cannabinoids that are prominent in medical research. CBC has shown promise in fighting cancer due to the interaction with the body’s natural endocannabinoid, anandamide.

It also appears to inhibit the uptake of anandamide, allowing it to remain longer in the bloodstream. In addition, CBC shows promise in the treatment of pain relief, inflammation, acne, depression, and it has positive effects on neural stem progenitor brain cells.

THC-V

The cannabinoid THC-V has been called quite a few things over the years, but weederall and diet weed are both nicknames that stick out the most. THC-V is known to help suppress your appetite and it also has energy-boosting properties. But while it has THC in its name, THC-V does not have the same intoxicating effects as regular old Delta 9 THC does.

In addition, THC-V has been shown to treat diabetes, Parkinson’s disease, osteoporosis, and anxiety. And though only a few studies exist, there are no reported side effects of using THC-V.