First preference, darn kids & book club drama

Interesting fact: Looking into smartphone usage, I learned “the penetration rate of smartphones among adults 65 years and older is only 61%.” I bet a significant percentage just don’t admit to penetration.

Dear Rachel,

So all this talk about nepo babies in Hollywood, and I finally figured out what they mean. At first I didn’t care. There’s always nepotism. Then I got peeved for all those servers in LA just trying to book an audition without losing their job. We need equal opportunity for actors! For all of us! You’re not the editor’s daughter or something, are you?

– First Gen

Dear El Em Nepo Pee, Frankly, I think dealing with a bunch of writers all the time would be the most effective birth control there is. Which probably means the Supreme Court will gut editors next. Besides, if the Supreme Court had editors, they’d have had some recent decisions marked up as implausible, divorced (another sin!) from the primary texts and probably-comma spliced all to hell.

– Stet, Rachel

Dear Rachel, I know Durango is going the way of the big city. After unloading my grocery cart at my

Sunday09

Durango Flea Market, 8 a.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave.

Big Mountain Enduro, 8 a.m., Purgatory Resort.

Four Corners Gem & Mineral Show, 10 a.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave.

Colorado Trail Days, 10 a.m., Backcountry Experience, 1205 Camino del Rio.

Story Time (kindergarten to 2nd grade), 11:11 a.m.-12 noon, White Rabbit Garden, 128 W. 14th St.

Vinyl Sundaze, 12 noon, Lola’s Place, 725 E. 2nd Ave.

Riverside Reset (adult coloring/rock painting), 1-3 p.m., White Rabbit Garden, 128 W. 14th St.

“The Complete History of America (Abridged)”, 2 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave.

Feed the People! free mutual aid meal & gear drive for homeless community members, every Sunday, 2 p.m., Buckley Park.

The Pastor & Pagan play, 4-7 p.m., Wines of the San Juan, Blanco, NM.

Ben Gibson Duo plays, 5 p.m., EsoTerra Ciderworks, 558 Main Ave.

handicap parking, I ask some young folks who are going into the store if they need a cart. They say no and walk on by. They don’t even offer to put it back in the store. They must think they will be young forever. Your thoughts from a 75-year-old.

– Bag Man

Dear Man Bag,

It is a whole bunch of truths universally acknowledged that: young people will always think they’ll be young forever; people older than young people will always complain about young people; it is always people older than young people who raised young people; and, it is people older than young people who are on their phones all the freaking time. Next time you want your cart put back, don’t be pass-agg about it. Just ask them for help. They might surprise you.

– Older every day, Rachel

Dear Clubbed,

Dear Rachel,

What’s the most amenable way for a book club to choose the books? We all thought it would be to have us each pick one. But when someone picks “The Alchemist” (that takes like two hours to read) and the next person picks “David effing Copperfield,” which takes like 40, it’s not equitable. Any advice here?

– Going Clubbing

Haro in the Dark play, 6 p.m., Durango Hot Springs. Sunday Funday, 6 p.m., Starlight, 937 Main Ave.

Monday10

Ben Gibson plays, 5 p.m., Balcony Bar & Grill, 600 Main Ave.

Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Meditation and Dharma Talk, 5:30 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave.

Comedy Showcase, 7:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Tuesday11

Community Yoga, 4:30-5:30 p.m., Yoga Durango, 1485 Florida Rd. Donations accepted.

Mindful Hike and Meditation for people in their 20s and 30s, 6 p.m., meet at Animas Mountain Trailhead at 32nd and W. 4th Ave., durangodharmacenter.org

Black Velvet, 6 p.m., Lola’s Place, 725 E. 2nd Ave.

Dave Mensch plays, 6 p.m., Three Springs Plaza.

Dustin Burley plays, 6 p.m., Durango Hot Springs.

All books are created equal and deserve an equal shot! But if you’re going to accept the best books into the club, you should pick the ones that have been the best-selling or have the best-known authors. If those books all happen to be by old white guys and J.K. Rowling, well, we can’t help it if those are the best books in the world, now can we? The other books should do better in school and stay off their damn phones and try harder to fit in.

– Well red, Rachel

Pete Giuliani plays, 6-8:30 p.m., James Ranch, 33846 Highway 550.

Open Mic Night, 7 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Wednesday12

Restorative Yoga for Cancer, 9:30-10:45 a.m., no cost for cancer patients, post-treatment survivors and caregivers, Smiley Building, 1309 E. 3rd Ave. Register at cancersupportswco.org/calendar

Great Garden Series: Bonsai in the Southern Rockies, 4:30 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Open Mic, 6:30 p.m., EsoTerra Ciderworks, 558 Main Ave.

Walking Meditation Instruction and Practice, 6:30-7:15 p.m., Claire Viles Park, more information at durangodharmacenter.org

“Sand, Stone and Songs: Ancient Lessons from a Living Landscape,” 7-8:30 p.m., FLC’s Lyceum Room. Presented by San Juan Basin Archaeologist Society.

Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 8 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr.

Karaoke Roulette, 8 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

by Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Genius physicist Albert Einstein said, “The formulation of a problem is often more essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skill. To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old questions from new angles, requires creative imagination and makes real advances.” What he said here applies to our personal dilemmas, too. When we figure out the right questions to ask, we are more than halfway toward a clear resolution.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority.” So said Taurus biologist and anthropologist Thomas Huxley (1825-95). I don’t think you will have to be quite as forceful as that in the coming weeks. But I hope you’re willing to further your education by rebelling against what you already know. And I hope you will be boisterously skeptical about conventional wisdom and trendy ideas. Have fun cultivating a feisty approach to learning! The more time you spend exploring beyond the borders of your familiar world, the better.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Hooray and hallelujah! You’ve been experimenting with the perks of being pragmatic and well-grounded. You have been extra intent on translating your ideals into effective actions. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you so dedicated to enjoying the simple pleasures. I love that you’re investigating the wonders of being as down-to-earth as you dare. Congratulations! Keep doing this honorable work.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I wrote my horoscope column for more than 10 years before it began to get widely syndicated. What changed? I became a better writer and oracle, for one thing. My tenacity was inexhaustible. I was always striving to improve my craft, even when the rewards were meager. Another important factor in my eventual success was my persistence in marketing. I did a lot of hard work to ensure the right publications knew about me. I suspect, fellow Cancerian, that 2024 is likely to bring you a comparable breakthrough in a labor of love you have been cultivating for a long time. And the coming months of 2023 will be key in setting the stage for that breakthrough.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Maybe you wished you cared more deeply about a certain situation. Your lack of empathy and passion may feel like a hole in your soul. If so, I have good news. The coming weeks will be a favorable time to find the missing power; to tap into the warm, wet feelings that could motivate your quest for greater connection. Here’s a good way to begin the process: Forget everything you think you know about the situation with which you want more engagement. Arrive at an empty, still point that enables you to observe the situation as if you were seeing it for the first time.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You are in an astrological phase when you’ll be wise to wrangle with puzzles and enigmas. Whether or not you come up with crisp solutions isn’t as crucial as your earnest efforts to limber up your mind. For best results, don’t worry and sweat about it; have fun! Now I’ll provide a sample riddle to get you in the mood. It’s adapted from a text by David Wallechinsky and Irving Wallace. You are standing before two identical closed doors, one leading to grime and confusion, the other to revelation and joy. Before the doors stand two figures: an angel who always tells the truth and a demon who always lies. But they look alike, and you may ask only one question to help you choose which door to take. What do you do?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I found a study that concluded just 6.1% of online horoscopes provide legitimate predictions about the future. Furthermore, the research indicated, 62.3% of them consist of bland, generic pabulum of no value to the recipient. I disagree with these assessments. And by the way, how can anyone have the hubris to decide which horoscopes are helpful and which are not? This thing we do is a highly subjective art, not an objective science. In the spirit of my comments here, Libra, and in accordance with astrological omens, I urge you to declare your independence from so-called experts and authorities who tell you they know what’s valid and worthwhile for you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Is it a fact that our bodies are made of stardust? Absolutely true, says planetary scientist Dr. Ashley King. Nearly all the elements comprising our flesh, nerves, bones and blood were originally forged in at least one star, maybe more. Some of the stuff we are made of lived a very long time in a star that eventually exploded: a supernova. I bring this startling reality to your attention, Scorpio, in honor of the most expansive phase of your astrological cycle. You have a mandate to deepen and broaden and enlarge your understanding of who you are and where you came from.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I foresee that August will be a time of experiments and explorations. Life will be in a generous mood toward you, tempting and teasing you with opportunities from beyond your circle of expectations. But let’s not get carried away until it makes cosmic sense to get carried away. I don’t want to urge you to embrace wild hope prematurely. Between now and the end of July, I advise you to enjoy sensible gambles and measured adventures.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Is there a crucial half-conscious question lurking in the underside of your mind? A smoldering doubt or muffled perplexity that’s important for you to address? I suspect there is. Now it’s time to coax it up to the surface of your awareness so you may deal with it forthrightly. You must not let it smolder there in its hiding place. Here’s the good news, Capricorn: If you bring the dilemma or confusion or worry into the full light of your consciousness, it will ultimately lead you to unexpected treasure. Be brave!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In Larry McMurtry’s novel, “Duane’s Depressed,” the life of the main character has come to a standstill. He no longer enjoys his job. The fates of his kids are too complicated for him to know how to respond. He has a lot of feelings but has little skill in expressing them. At a loss about how to change his circumstances, he takes a small and basic step: He stops driving his pickup truck and instead walks everywhere he needs to go. Your current stasis is nowhere near as dire. But I do recommend you consider his approach to initiating transformation: Start small and basic.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Author K. V. Patel wrote, “As children, we laugh fully with the whole body. We laugh with everything we have.” In the coming weeks, Pisces, I would love for you to regularly indulge in just that: total delight and release. Furthermore, I predict you will be more able than usual to summon uproarious life-affirming amusement. Further furthermore, I believe you will have more reasons than ever before to unleash your entire self in rippling bursts of healing, hysterical hilarity. To get started, practice chuckling, giggling and chortling for one minute right now.

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon. Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com

Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.) Ads can be submitted via: n www.durangotelegraph.com n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 679 E. 2nd Ave., #E2

Approximate office hours:

Mon-Wed: 9ish - 5ish

Thurs: On delivery

Fri: Gone fishing; call first

Classes/Workshops

West Coast Swing Dance

6-week class starts July 19. Learn the basics of West Coast Swing. Registration required at www.westslopewesties.com

Aikido Intro Class

Aikido is a Japanese martial art with a do-no-harm attitude. Gain poise, focus, stress-relief. 4-week class Mon 68pm. Starts July 10th. Full details at https://durangoaikido.blog/intro-classseries or text/call 970-426-5257.

Let’s Letter Together!

Italic, brushlettering, sign writing, chalkboards, and more! In person classes at The ArtRoom. Learn more: bit.ly/letterdurango

HelpWanted

Hiring at Dgo Adult Ed Center

Eve Humanities Teacher $22/hr part time. Small classes, no grading! Student Svs Specialist (front desk/registrar) $18$19/hr part time. Bilingual Eng/Spanish preferred. Learn more at durangoadulted.org or contact us at 970-3854354 or info@durangoadulted.org

Massage Therapists Needed

Amaya is hiring Massage Therapist part time positions. Email triciagourley 13@gmail.com or drop off resume to apply

Help Wanted at Fruit Stand!

Need seasonal help at Just Peachy fruit stand for sales associate. Sales associates will greet, engage and answer customer questions about our produce and other goods. Restocking, sorting and cashiering are main job components. Some heavy lifting may be required. For further job info please contact: Amy Flores Bair @ (817)7818255 floresamyj@gmail.com or Joshua Bair @ (970)903-8410 joshuabbair@ gmail.com pending on experience. Benefits include health, vision, dental, paid time off. Contact/application information: Please send a resume and cover letter to bkremer@sanjuandevelopment.com and gkaasch-buerger@silverton.co.us or by mail to SJDA, PO Box 722, Silverton, CO 81433. Position is open until filled. The Town of Silverton is an equal opportunity employer.

CommercialforRent

Office Co-Share Available

Furnished office, private bathroom, secure entrances and covered parking. Visit snowhaven.org to reserve the space.

Wanted

Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum, etc. at RJ Metal Recycle. Also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.

ForSale

HaikuMovieReview

‘White Noise’

Baumbach’s film about thanatophobia made me long for the end

– Lainie Maxson

Looking to consign smaller furniture pieces … 572 E. 6th Ave. Open Mon.Sat. 385-7336.

Berry Plants for Sale

Elderberry, raspberry and cherry shrubs. Make your own elderberry syrup! Fresh elderflower and Nanking cherry available to make cordials or teas. So lovely and yummy! mtberrymedicine@gmail.com

Jackson Antix 1.0 Medium

Whitewater kayak. Super fun river runner/surfer. Very good cond. – all outfitting intact, clean. In hot pink/orange/yellow fade. Downtown Durango. Message for dets: 970-749-2595.

Services

Hire the Right People for You

We recruit the people you need. Visit: http://maryjanespeople.com and email us at hi@maryjanespeople.com

Now Hiring | Dump Truck Driver

LandEx Earthworks is currently seeking a full time driver for daily operation of our dump truck material hauling and heavy equipment transport. Min 4y exp, pay DOE. Resume & references to info@landexearthworks.com.

The Town of Silverton is seeking to hire a full-time Community Project & Housing Coordinator to work directly with the San Juan Development Association. Key responsibilities would include community project coordination, housing program management, community engagement and outreach, and grant writing/ fundraising. The Community Project & Housing Coordinator position offers a unique opportunity to make a significant impact on community development and affordable housing initiatives. The successful candidate will demonstrate strong project management skills, community engagement abilities and a commitment to creating inclusive and sustainable communities. For the full job description, please visit https://townofsilverton.colorado.g ov/employment. Hours per week: 40 hours/week. Hourly rate: $30-40/hr. de-

Vintage Bike for Sale

Schwinn One World 1940s The Schwinn One World was a popular bicycle in the 1940s. It is considered a classic vintage bike and often sought after by collectors and enthusiasts. Working condition, pick up only in Durango, CO $250 or BO 9707991979

Reruns Home Furnishings

Brighten up your indoor and outdoor space – bookcases, nightstands, dressers, bistro patio sets and bar stools.

Harmony Cleaning and Organizing

Residential, offices, commercial and vacation rentals, 970-403-6192.

Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside storage near Durango and Bayfield. 10-x-20, $130. Outside spots: $65, with discounts available. RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494.

BodyWork

Integrated Massage

Deep tissue therapeutic body work @ Durango Wellness Clinic Call/text 970.403.5451 to book a session with Dennis. Inquire about Telegraph discount.

Massage by Meg Bush LMT, 30, 60 & 90 min., 970-7590199.