Commencement 2023 Thank You, I’m Sorry, and I Love You

A transcription of the commencement address.

By Mr. Jadihel Taveras, Head of School for Esperanza Academy

Distinguished faculty, honored guests, proud parents, and most importantly, the remarkable graduating class of Eagle Hill School, it is with great joy that I stand before you today on this momentous occasion. As I gaze upon this gathering of talented individuals, I am reminded of the immense privilege it is to be a part of this celebration—and to each and every one of you, I want to say: thank you, I’m sorry, and I love you.

First of all, thank you.

I’d like to express my deepest gratitude to the faculty and staff of Eagle Hill School, who have dedicated themselves to nurturing and shaping the minds of this exceptional Class of 2023!

To the parents and families, I extend my heartfelt admiration. Your love and support have been essential in the journey that has led us to this very moment. Actually, for the parents in the room, I would like for all of you to take a moment and reflect.

Think about your child. Do you remember when they were three or four? Running around and looking at the world with insatiable curiosity. Their laughter echoed, infectious and pure, a symphony of joy that brightened everything. Everything around them was fascinating—a brightly colored ball bouncing in the grass, a plane flying overhead, or a puddle beckoning to be explored. Go back further. Do you remember when they were babies? They found wonder in the simplest of things: the sound of your voice calling out to them, the feeling of sand slipping through their tiny fingers, or the taste of a ripe strawberry—each sensation becoming a revelation, a gateway to understanding the world around them. Do you remember those early year?

And every night, you would put them to sleep, yourself exhausted: you would look at them, your heart heavy and full, knowing that you could never express to them how much you love them, how much you think about their future. How much they own your heart. And simultaneously, how terrified you were. Terrified of the unknown, knowing that every day you were doing your best, and wondering if your best was enough. What will they need? Who will they become?

I stand in front of you today to say: you should be so proud. And you should be proud for many reasons. Yes, this is a class that overcame COVID disruption in their early high school career and had an unprecedented number of college acceptances and “first choice” admissions, created and starred in award-winning theater productions, and won multiple athletic league championships and individual accolades.

There is absolutely no doubt that this is an impressive group of kids who have collectively chosen their reality. They have persevered over and over again and have demonstrated what you all knew deep in your hearts: that the world is lucky to have them. But encapsulated in all of this is one common bond. A bond that has formed everyone in this room in immeasurable ways. A bond so secure and so loving that it will permeate your lives for generations. That bond is Eagle Hill.

Parents, you have chosen, and students, you are graduating from, a remarkable institution an exceptional community. I have lived in six different countries. I have worked at independent schools throughout New England, and I am currently a Head of School. I know that Eagle Hill stands alone in this world.

This is an institution that looks society square in the face and says, we will unapologetically create a community where each individual is loved and respected for who they are because we understand that brilliance, courage, and wisdom seldom present themselves as a linear formation in the human experience.

At Eagle Hill, there is an ancient truth that is held sacred that is that humans learn differently. It is a safe and inspiring environment for students to explore not only their ingenuity but their purpose and as a result, the world is better off because of Eagle Hill graduates.

And when you all chose Eagle Hill, students, parents, faculty, staff, you chose Dr. McDonald. You chose someone who believed in the power of love and opportunity. You chose someone who saw you, believed in you, and was eager and anxious for you to soar through Eagle Hill and into the world to leave your mark.

And I’m sorry.

I’m so deeply sorry for your loss and for the complex journey of healing that lies ahead.

When Dr. McDonald called me a few months ago and asked me to be the Commencement Speaker, I responded to him by saying “PJ, you must have terrible service because for a second, you sounded like you wanted me to be the commencement speaker this year.” He laughed and then said, “No, Jadi, I would be honored.”

I have to admit, I have been asking myself why. And then it dawned on me. Dr. McDonald had a gift. He knew how to see potential in people. He believed in giving people an opportunity to write their own story and speak their own truth. Through this work, he was a humanitarian. He looked at each and every one of you and believed in you so deeply. It is not an accident that a man with a gift like his, seeing the beauty in others, led this remarkable institution for twentyfive years.

Dr. McDonald was an architect of dreams and a nurturer of aspirations. With unwavering belief, he offered a guiding hand, helping every Eagle Hill student and graduate realize their worth, and helping them understand who they are in this world.

Graduates, there are people in your life who will open doors or simply see you for who you are. Pay attention to these people; they are gifts along your journey. You can stay in your hometown or travel the world. I promise you: they will appear. Sometimes they stay in your life, and sometimes they come and go. These people live across ethnicities, races, and socio-economic statuses; they are humans who are put in our paths for a reason. You will feel it when you meet them. When you meet someone who makes you feel like it’s easy to be you, then you know that this person has been intentionally put in your path.

I stand here today not as an authority figure but as a fellow traveler on the road of life. I have traversed the path of triumphs and tribulations that accompany the pursuit of dreams, drawing my inspiration from this shared journey. Allow me to share a glimpse of my own story.

I was a child raised by an immigrant single mother, navigating a world filled with uncertainties. Growing up with undiagnosed ADHD presented its own set of challenges, yet I persevered. By the time I reached the age of thirteen, my family had moved from one apartment to another eight times.

In a hyper-masculine Latino culture, I often felt like I didn’t fit in—I was drawn to gardening and poetry, and my empathic nature set me apart from the narrow box of masculinity that was defined for me. I yearned for others to succeed and felt deeply connected to the world around me.

These qualities, while inherently a part of me, made it difficult to embrace who I was meant to be fully. Growing up where I did, there wasn’t much room for a soft-hearted Latino boy with big dreams.

As a “Boys and Girls Club” kid, I was fortunate to receive an opportunity—a chance that changed the trajectory of my life. I attended a boarding school where I faced my fair share of academic struggles.

During freshman year, I failed English and later had to repeat a grade. School was undeniably challenging for me, but my mind was vibrant with thoughts, dreams, and an understanding of the complexities of the human condition. While coping mechanisms and strategies eluded me, I found solace and strength in thinking differently, in dreaming, and in empathizing deeply with others. I always knew I had great ideas, but I didn’t have the environment to see them come to fruition. But the spark inside me never dimmed.

Eagle Hill School—a place that caters to unique learners like me—would have been an invaluable resource on my journey. However, I did not have that privilege. Instead, I pushed through with impaired executive function, grappling with a slow processing speed. I lacked an understanding of the strategies that could have supported me, consistently finding myself in environments that were ill-suited to my particular learning style. Thinking something was wrong with me, my inferiority complex and imposter syndrome constantly nagged at me.

The truth is, the world we inhabit is not designed for those who think differently. But let us not forget that it is the diverse perspectives, the unconventional minds, that infuse this world with vibrancy and brilliance.

That is why I love you.

Without individuals like us, the world would be devoid of creativity, imagination, and the ability to understand the intricacies of life itself.

Today, I am the head of a school for black and brown girls who come from very challenging circumstances. Oftentimes when society looks at these girls, it has predetermined who and what they can be. And yet we have designed a program that has completely re-imagined what urban education can look like, and we are getting national attention for our education model.

School was hard for me, not because I wasn’t smart, but because it wasn’t designed for me. And now my ideas are coming into fruition and our kids, who society in many ways have dismissed are graduating Esperanza Academy. They are attending the most competitive high schools in New England, including Eagle Hill. I recently wrote an article on leadership that was shared by the president of one the largest foundations in the world. Not bad for a kid who failed high school English.

So, graduates of Eagle Hill School, I stand before you today as a testament to the power of embracing your uniqueness. Embrace the challenges you have faced, for they have forged in you a resilience that will carry you through any obstacle. You have to believe in yourself.

I believe in you. Your journey, though different from mine, is marked by the same spirit of tenacity and the pursuit of dreams.

There are many realities in life, and wherever you are from and wherever you will go, I promise you it’s beautiful, and it’s challenging, to find your way. Don’t make it harder on yourself by being too proud or letting your ego guide you. Never miss the opportunity to say thank you to someone who makes a mark in your life. Don’t be too proud to say I’m sorry. Never forget to say I love you when you feel it in your heart.

As you step out into the world, armed with the knowledge and support you have gained from Eagle Hill, remember that you possess an extraordinary perspective—an ability to see beyond the confines of traditional thinking. And as you embark on this new chapter of your lives, never forget that your potential to create, to empathize, and to understand the world is boundless. The world needs you—your ideas, your dreams, and your unwavering belief that thinking differently is not just valuable but indispensable.

Congratulations, graduates, on this remarkable milestone. May your impact on the world be profound. And please don’t forget to say, thank you, I’m sorry, and I love you along the way.