Entertainment:
Sports: Eight easy weightloss tips that can get you summer bod within months.
Men’s basketball coach earns coveted spot in the Guinness World Record book for loudest scream.
Read on A4
Read on A6
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Volume 15, Issue 2
Wednesday, March 28, 2017
Dear readers, Well, FGCU, it’s that time of year when the Eagle News staff breaks all journalistic rules for your entertainment. It’s our annual April Fools’ issue. You might be wondering, “What does that mean?” Well, it means nothing in the A section of the paper is true — call it fake news, if you will. That’s right — eight pages of satirical news, entertainment, sports, opinion and outreach articles. To reiterate, nothing in the A section is real. Instead, all of the real news can be found in the B section and on our award-winning website, eaglenews.org. So, why do we spend our time coming up with eight pages of satirical content in addition to the regular online and print content? To show the readers that journalists aren’t just kids with fancy Macbooks, cameras and free time. The staff here at Eagle News works hard to bring you unbiased and accurate news that the FGCU community needs to know. I mean, we just received six Society of Professional Journalists awards saying so. So, sit back, relax and, please, try not to take the first half of this issue too seriously. Enjoy, Emily Ford Editor-in-Chief
Student Body President commits to sustainable transportation By Tina Belcher Uhhh Editor @tina_belcher
SN Photo / Kim Possible Student Body President Thieldens Elneus rides his blue, three-wheeled bike on the Library Lawn. Elneus announced in a student-wide email that for the remainder of the semester, he will be riding a bike instead of driving a car, to honor FGCU’s sustainable practices.
In an effort to commit to the sustainable practices that FGCU was founded upon, Student Body President Thieldens Elneus announced in a studentwide email that he will no longer drive a car. Instead, he will ride a bike everywhere. The bike, a blue, threewheeler with large tires, will act as Elneus’ mode of transportation until he graduates from FGCU in May. “Because FGCU is such an environmentally conscious school, I figured that I, as the Student Body President, should exemplify such beliefs and commit to biking,” Elneus said. Elneus also said that he made his decision in honor of Earth Day. “It’s a great holiday,” he said. “It’s important for students at FGCU to celebrate, but also keep the
spirit of Earth Day alive and continue sustainable practices, like recycling Eagle News after you read the latest issue.” Elneus purchased the bike from a local circus. “I was driving around in Fort Myers and noticed a colorful sign that read, ‘Circus Surplus,’” Elneus said. “I love circuses, so I decided to show some support.” Elneus said that he has been encouraging fellow classmates and Student Government members to join him in his sustainable transportation pledge. Junior environmental health major Sue Stainable said that she was inspired by Elneus’s dedication to helping the environment. Stainable has decided to
>> Continued on A2
Mind your own beeswax Why some bees are leaving their hives for FGCU By Beeatrice Bumble Assistant Bee Editor @bumblebeeatrice Bees are swooping into backpacks and swarming around laptops, provoking panic among students and faculty. Some students try to swat the bees away while others run away in a frenzy, leaving their belongings to the bees’ devices. “Sometimes I go near the wingless creatures’ laptops to help with their homework,” said Philosobee major Harbee Honey. “Some of them look like they’re struggling and I just want to help. Unfortunately, I get
greeted with a scream or a swat.” In a mass exodus, millions of bees have abandoned their hives around Florida and have relocated to FGCU leaving ecologists and citizens equally puzzled. While habitats and environmental conditions in Florida seem stable in a study conducted by the Florida Bee Center, bees mystifyingly swarm to FGCU by the masses. Although scientists don’t know an exact cause for the immigration, Queen of the honey colony, Bee’yonce Combs, says bees immigrate to FGCU in pursuit of a
higher education. Though their intentions are pure, their reception is not necessarily positive, as they are often acknowledged with swats, screams, disgust and a few unpleasant choice words, Combs said. Despite the communication barrier between humans and bees, bees strive to be good students with their active participation in student organizations (particularly tabling), sports and outdoor catering events. Leadership also plays an
>> Continued on A2
SN Photo / Yah Cuh Voe-Nee Physical Plant placed small satchels filled with cherry-stones to deter bees. Alas, the satchels haven’t done much for beerepelling, since Florida’s bee population has flocked to FGCU and have made it clear that they’re going to stay.
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The world in brief Trump makes spray tans mandatory in White House President Donald Trump signed an executive order on Tuesday, March 28 making it mandatory that all White House staff members receive spray tans. Trump will begin construction on a tanning salon in the East Wing of the White House starting next month. The First Lady announced that she is excited to see the staff “look as good as her husband.”
Money, Pleease!
Japan replaces teachers and waiters with robots On Tuesday, March 28, the Japanese government announced that all teachers and waiters in Tokyo will be replaced with robots. A spokesperson said that Japan has no need for humans to take part in those professions when “robots can do such a better job.” The government said that the rest of the island will follow suit toward the end of the year.
Mona-Lisa Ralphio
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Tokyo, Japan
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Kenya, Africa
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Antarctica
Jazz Editor Barry B. Benson
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Starlord of the Galaxy
Heard of elephants ambush group of poachers On Tuesday, March 28, it was reported that a heard of elephants in Kenya ambushed a group of poachers, stealing their trucks and ammo. The group was attempting to collect the elephant’s tusks; however, the animals fought back, leaving the poachers with nothing but the clothes on their backs.
Santa Claus relocates to Antarctica Santa Claus announced in a press conference on Tuesday, March 28 that he will be moving his workshop to Antarctica. Claus said that while the North Pole will always have a special place in his heart, he wants to relocate to help the dying polar bear and penguin populations.
Bruno Jupiter
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>> Sustainable transportation continued from A1 trade her car in for something more environmentally conscious – a pair of Moon Shoes. She found her childhood pair in her garage after holding a yard sale with her mother and decided to put them to good use. “I spotted them under a box of roller skates and skateboards,” Stainable said. “I figured that they would be the easiest, most efficient way to get around campus and around Fort Myers.” Stainable said that she plans on meeting with Elneus throughout the remainder of the semester, to check up on each others’ progress and share tips on staying sustainable.
“I love reaching out to students and discussing their experiences at FGCU,” Elneus said. “So, I’m especially excited to talk to Stainable about our efforts.” FGCU professor Annie Maulover, who teaches Colloquium, is proud that FGCU students are taking initiative and pushing themselves to get out of their comfort zone. “I for one admire Elneus and Stainable for what they are doing,” Maulover said. “It takes a brave soul to give up their vehicles and use alternative methods. I applaud them.” Maulover said that she still uses a car, however it runs on leftover grease from SoVi Dining rather than petroleum. “SoVi Dining produces enough grease
for me to power my car for four years,” Maulover said. “I’m glad that at least one person is getting something out of SoVi.” Elneus said that while he hasn’t met Maulover, he’s glad that a faculty member at FGCU is also taking part in sustainable practices. “Our faculty usually inspires students in the classroom, but I love that Maulover is taking that extra step to show her students proper ways to reduce the amount of gas used,” Elneus said. Between classes, Elneus plans on riding through buildings and sharing his new mode of transportation with students. “I want to encourage other students to follow in my footsteps, I mean, tire marks,” Elneus said.
SN Photo / Kim Possible Student Body President Thieldens Elneus rides around on his bike with his phone in his hand and a lollipop in his mouth. Elneus will use this sustainable mode of transportation until he graduates in May.
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Photo courtesy of pixabay.com A swarm of bees resting on a honeycomb. Florida’s bee population has relocated from hives across the state to FGCU’s campus, particularly, trash cans. Bees have been spotted buzzing near students studying outside.
>> Bees continued from A1 important role in the life of bees, which has motivated them to create their own environmental club open to all FGCU students who are interested. “Our goal is to bridge the gap between winglesscreature students and bee students while also
helping the environment,” President of the environmental bee club, Phoebee Buzzington, said. Meetings run seven days a week and attendance peaks during lunchtime. The meetings usually take place around garbage cans scattered across campus to promote the importance of disposing trash in the
proper places. Snacks are always available to those who attend meetings, like melted Chick-Fil-A shakes and half-eaten Pop-Tarts. According to Buzzington, no wingless creatures have attended a meeting so far. All in all, the bees just want humans to understand that they are
more alike than different. Just like bees, humans buzz in and out of their hives, work hard and aim for straight B’s on their final exams. Regardless of the misunderstandings and hardships bees encounter at FGCU, the bees plan to become graduated professionals motivated by success and Chick-
Fil-A milkshakes. For now, the bees have no plans in leaving and have submitted a bill to President Wilson G. Bradshaw and the Board of Trustees to officially change the university’s name to FG[BEE]U.
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WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29 SEAGULL NEWS NEWS A3
Batgirl Beat Batgirl sends her reports to Seagull News every week Animal shapes At 3:21 a.m. on Monday, March 20, I noticed the Bat Signal was turned on, but something seemed off. Odd animal shapes were being displayed across the sky. When I went to investigate, I found Nightwing and Superman joking around. I requested that they quit it with the shenanigans and moved on. Parking miseries A student called in Tuesday, March 21 at 12:03 p.m., concerned that she wouldn’t find
parking before her class started. I took her car and placed it in the middle of the boardwalk, because I am Batgirl and I can do whatever I want. Illegal walking On Tuesday, March 21 at 3:15 p.m., a male student was walking to campus and didn’t press the button to cross FGCU Boulevard. I threw a batarang and broke his leg. He will make sure to obey traffic laws next time. Wellness check On Wednesday, March
22 at 8:12 p.m., a concerned parent called, wondering why their child hasn’t answered their calls in three days. I went to investigate, and I found the student throwing a rave with Nightwing. I kicked Nightwing off of the Bat team and told the student to call his mother. Suspicious person On Wednesday, March 22 at 11:02 p.m., I was standing on top of the Library, watching the campus, when I saw a suspicious individual performing flips on the
Library Lawn. I confronted the individual and asked if he could train me. Situation handled, and I have found my new coach. Batgirl vs. Preacher On Thursday, March 23 at 10:32 a.m., I received a tip that the preacher was being obnoxious and singling students out. I showed up with every intention to disperse the crowd, but instead, I decided to take him on. Administration asked us both to leave campus.
Home sweet home A North Lake resident called in on Thursday, March 23 at 9:04 p.m., complaining of an individual yelling and banging on random doors. When I confronted the individual, I learned that he was drunk and needed help getting home. I flew him over to South Village where he belonged. Problem solved. Batmobile blues On Friday, March 24 at 2:05 p.m., I received a parking ticket. I tried my
best to get out of it, but even Batgirl has to follow the rules. It was a sad day for Batgirl. Smoky situation On Friday, March 24 at 9:08 p.m., I was on foot patrol, and I noticed some smoke coming from the nature trail by South Village. When I got closer, I noticed a group of students and Superman. Upon approaching the group, they ran off, and Superman flew away. I tried to catch up, but I lost them.
FGCU president-elect to hold family reunion on Library Lawn By Julie Tootie Fruiti Mike Martin Beat Writer @jtootiefruiti President Wilson G. Bradshaw’s official last day as FGCU’s president is June 30, but come July 1, president-elect Mike Martin is not only taking the title but also throwing a family reunion. The celebration will be held on the Library Lawn on July 1 from 4:30 p.m. to 10 p.m. Mike saw this has not only an opportunity to celebrate his new job, but to get the family together, while inviting the entire FGCU community to celebrate together. His award winning musician brother, Ricky Martin, and his younger basketball star half-brother, Kevin Martin will both be in attendance. His critically aclaimed actor fraternal twin brother Steve Martin will also be joining in on the family festivities. Unfortunately, his youngest brother, lead singer of the band Coldplay, Chris Martin will be on tour in Switzerland so he will not be able to attend. “I am deeply sorry about missing the reunion, but I know that my
brothers will be sure to have a great time,” Chris said. “I wish them the best, and can’t wait to see them over the holidays.” The reunion will feature performances by Brad Paisley and Beyoncé. The Dancing E’Gals will join Beyoncé’s dancers on stage. Major props like fireworks and smoke machines will be used. Beyoncé has allegedly spoken about how she plans on changing her outfit at least 23 times. Ricky Martin also has plans to perform for students and family. The Latin popstar is rumored to be inviting Shakira, and The Black-Eyed Peas on stage as well. A Ricky Martin representative has spoken about the possibility of hearing a new song from an upcoming album that might drop later this year. “Rickey is very excited for his family and FGCU to hear his new work and believes that it might be a Grammy contender,” Ricky’s representative said. Martin has tweeted his excitement about being in Fort Myers and performing for his family, friends and FGCU students. The youngest Martin,
SN Illustration / The Mothman (From left to right) Steve Martin, Kevin Martin, Mike Martin and Ricky Martin pose in a black and white family photo that can be found in the Martin family vacation home in Martha’s Vineyard. Mike, who will begin his term as FGCU’s fifth president on July 1, will be holding a family reunion on the Library Lawn on that same day from 4:30 p.m. to 10 p.m.
Kevin, will be found in Alico Arena. He may be recently retired, but Kevin is very excited to play a few rounds of basketball with FGCU students and maybe even play a game against the men’s basketball team. “I hope Dunk City brings their A-game! I’m excited to play ball with the
students, it’s going to be a great time,” Kevin said. Mike’s twin brother Steve is known for his comedic abilities and will be taking the stage later in the day. His act will include impersonations and classic jokes. There will also be a mini petting zoo outside of the
Cohen Center. Goats, sheep and pigs will be available for students to pet and feed. Outside the bus loop, there will be a cotton candy stand and free popcorn, water and soda. Dinner will be catered by PDQ, Chick-Fil-A and Miller’s Ale House. In the evening, Culver’s
will be serving concrete ice cream sundaes with a full toppings bar. Free T-shirts will be given out to students as well. Any FGCU student can hang out with the Martin family by presenting their school ID.
Your monthy horrorscope: How to avoid a disaster Aries (March 21 - April 19) Aries, since you’re usually so impatient, watch out for moving vehicles. Actually wait for the crosswalk sign to turn white on campus, rather than jaywalk — or else you’ll get run over by a SoVi bus, or even worse, ticketed by UPD. Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Taurus, since you’re usually so stubborn, watch out for cranky groupproject members. Actually listen to your partners instead of having a “my way or the highway” mentality — or else you’ll end up with four new enemies, a failing grade and a cranky
professor. Gemini (May 21 - June 20) Gemini, since you’re usually known for your multiple personalities, watch out for class presentations. Actually stick with one personality instead of fluttering around — or else you’ll get 20 eyes glaring at you, a failing grade and a cranky professor. Cancer (June 21 - July 22) Cancer, since you’re usually so sensitive, watch out for the campus preacher. Actually stand your ground and ignore hateful comments instead of bursting into tears — or
else you’ll end up even more embarrassed.
everyone around you.
friends.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
Leo, since you’re usually so self-absorbed, watch out for Twitter beef. Actually keep your thoughts about you to yourself instead of tweeting them — or else you’ll receive twenty angry replies about how selfish and fake you are.
Libra, since you’re so indecisive, watch out for angering your significant other. Actually stick to a decision on where to eat instead of going back and forth — or else you’ll end up with a nasty fight and a potentially over relationship.
Sagittarius, since you’re so adventurous, watch out for skipping class. Actually go and pay attention instead of driving off into the distance — or else you’ll end up with a failing grade and a cranky professor.
Aquarius, since you’re so detached, watch out for losing touch with family members. Actually take the time to call your grandparents and great Aunt Sue instead of declining their calls — or else you’ll end up feeling awkward at their funerals.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20)
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)
Virgo, since you’re usually so smart, watch out for turning into a know it all. Actually keep your comments and corrections to yourself instead of blurting them out loud — or else you’ll end up annoying
Scorpio, since you’re so intense, watch out for dampening the mood. Actually nod and smile during a conversation rather than butting in with a depressing factoid — or else you’ll end up with no
Capricorn, since you’re such a social butterfly, watch out for parties. Actually pay mind to who you’re talking to instead of jumping from group to group — or else you’ll end up with one too many new Snapchat friends.
Pisces, since you’re so spaced-out, watch out for getting distracted at work. Actually pay attention to your boss instead of dozing off into a daydream — or else you’ll end up jobless, and thus will have to find another way to pay for your Netflix subscription.
Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)
FUN & STUFF Drake and Adele announce collaboration
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Photos courtesy of BET Drake and Adele are releasing a 16-track collaboration album on Saturday, April 1. It has been confirmed that the record will be a concept album on relationship issues that are bound to make everyone instantly cry upon first listen.
By Jesse Martian Donald Glover Expert @DrakeLuver4Ever Drake and Adele have announced they will be doing a 16-track collaboration album, dropping Saturday, April 1. Drake is coming off his commercially successful playlist “More Life,” and
Adele is coming off of her five-Grammy win from her latest album “25.” “I wanted to give the fans as much as possible,” Drake said in an interview with Entertainment News. “‘More Life’ was great, but this is what I really want the fans to hear.” The album’s title has yet to be announced by anyone
involved. According to Universal Music Records, the album will be a feature-heavy project. Several guest artists are confirmed to be on the project, including Ed Sheeran, Beyoncé, Kanye West, Lil Wayne, Childish Gambino, Rihanna, The Weeknd, The Beatles and
The Rolling Stones. According to ABC, Drake and Adele will be performing the album live on the day of the album’s release on a special, twohour episode of Good Morning America. Adele and Drake both have said this album will be a conceptual album about relationship issues.
Other topics touched on in the project are depression, fear and Donald Trump. The lead single, “Freddie Mercury,” is set to release on MTV at 8 p.m. on March 31. The track is said to be over nine minutes long, and the music video will have celebrity cameos including President Barack Obama,
Kobe Bryant, Oprah Winfrey, Justin Timberlake, Tina Fey and Justin Bieber. “Don’t expect this to be the only album me and Drake do together,” Adele said to MTV. “We recorded over 100 songs while working on this. This is some of the best music I’ve ever heard. This is something special.”
FGCU announces new ‘Internet Fame’ major By Cashme Ousside Girl Internet Fame Expert @howbowdat In 2017, we’re all catching on fast that a college degree can only amount to so much. Research collected by FGCU’s admissions team concluded that you’re much more likely to earn a living if you become a viral sensation, as apposed to
the traditional method of getting a college. That’s why FGCU has announced that it will be offering a new major starting in Fall 2018: “Internet Fame.” This major will help students get those muchneeded views, likes and interactions that lead them to fame and, hopefully, to every viral sensations goal, the “Ellen Degeneres Show”
or “Jerry Springer.” Reportedly, classes will include Instagram Captioning, Emoji 101, Relatable Tweeting and DM Sliding for upper level majors. Electives in the major will include Meme Making, Selfies, Tinder Matching and much more. The major is perfect for anyone with “Aspiring DJ” or “Local Rapper,” in their
Twitter bio, anyone who refers to themselves as a “Fitness guru,” aka those who promote tea brands with deceivingly attractive Instagram photos or those who identify as a model, because they know their angles and filters. Learn how to get the most out of a pointless and viral existence by Photo courtesy of KnowYourMeme visiting fgcu.edu for more Experts are suggesting students should put the books down and focus their attention on landing a guest spot on Dr. Phil, like internet sensation, “Cashmeousside” infomration. girl.
Eight easy diet tips that actually work By Julian Michaels Fitness Correspondent @fgcueaglenews With Summer right around the corner, the desire to shed a few pounds is greater than ever. However, most diets are tiresome and have varying results. That’s why I’ve compiled 10 guaranteed ways to get in shape that require minimal effort and have great results. 1. Eat the grass from your front yard It’s important to eat healthy food if you’re
trying to lose weight, but going to the store can be inconvenient if you have a busy schedule, and health food can be expensive. Luckily there’s nutrient-rich food growing in your very own front yard. If you live somewhere without a yard, a friend’s yard or a park will work just fine. 2. Remove your least favorite limb Not a lot of people know this, but your arms and legs can weigh more than 20 pounds. Remove the one that you use least often for a guaranteed way to shed
some unwanted pounds. 3. Get a tape worm Tape worms, parasites that feed off nutrients from a plant or animal host, have been proven to be an extremely effective way to lose weight. You can get one from eating raw, contaminated meat or by purchasing one off of the black market. 4. Heartbreak = Hot bod If you make your significant other break up with you, it’s likely to force you into pursuing a “revenge body” to get back at them and make
them regret their decision. Nothing inspires you to hit the gym like the sharp pain of rejection from a loved one, so use it to your advantage. 5. Sprint, scooter or Heely to class Exercising on the way to class is a good way to put some fitness into your normal routine. One option for this strategy is to pull out your old Heely shoes. You can roll around campus looking as cool as you did back in fourth grade. 6. Get yourself banned from fast-food restaurants
If you’re banned from a restaurant, you won’t be able to go inside of it and cheat on your diet. Some easy ways to get banned are by peeing on the floor, dancing on the counter shouting “McFreaking Lose It,” bringing back “coning,” or by making any variety of violent and disturbing displays. 7. “Mean Girls” diet Try eating Kalteen Bars. They’re these weird nutrition bars my mom uses to lose weight. There is some weird ingredient in them that’s not legal in the
U.S. yet. It just burns up all your carbs. 8. Contract the flu or some other stomach virus If you contract the flu you won’t be able to hold much food down, guaranteeing you to lose weight. One great way to contract viruses or diseases is by licking all the door knobs in a public place. So there you have it. Use these completely not dangerous and totally accurate ways to get that summer bod.
‘The Bachelor’ movie starring Ryan Reynolds is announced By Julie Tootie Fruiti Mike Martin Beat Writer @Jtootiefruiti “The Bachelor” the movie will premiere on the big screen late Fall 2018. The film will follow the life of Josh, a seemingly perfect single man. Josh will be played by Ryan Reynolds, who is famous for his movies “Deadpool,” “The Green Lantern” and “The Proposal.” Josh has been looking
for the perfect woman all his life. Subsequently, he finds himself on a reality television show in which he is set up with multiple female contestants. Once he finds his most compatible match, the show will end, and Josh and his future wife will live happily ever after. The man of the hour is excited by the prospect of finding his one true love, but then things take a turn for the worse.
Enter Audrey. Played by Academy, Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild Award winner Emma Stone, Audrey looks like a sweet, funny girl on the outside. However, perhaps everything is not what it seems when other contestants start to disappear. Josh notices the mysterious disappearances of his possible matches. With the help of the show’s camera crew, Josh begins to
uncover the hidden secrets of the network behind the show and the truth about Audrey. Many celebrities will appear in the show, including Reynolds’s reallife wife, Blake Lively. Reynolds has spoken about how excited he is. “I cannot wait to take a show that has an insane following, and turn it into something dark and twisted,” Reynolds said. The lead role has been
coveted by actors like Ryan Gosling, Matthew McConoughey and Jake Gyllenhaal who reportedly all auditioned for the part of Josh, but were denied. According to Entertainment News, Leonardo DiCaprio was interested in the role, but could not pursue it because of a conflicting commitment to make the Christopher Nolan “Inception” sequel. It has also been announced that Steven
Spielberg directed the film. Spielberg took the job on short notice after former director, Michael Bay, was fired for reportedly clashing on set with Reynolds and Stone. The movie trailer is set to release Wednesday, March 29. Critics expect the movie to surpass the ratings of Reynolds’s most notorious role, “Deadpool.” Producers of the movie, brothers Joel and Ethan Coen, have stated they
SPRTS
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Tucker and Morant to run for mayor of Dunk City
SN Photos / Brad and Boujee (Left) Rayjon Tucker’s slam over a UNF player landed him the No. 7 spot on SportsCenter’s Top-10. (Right) Demetris Morant had the second highest amount of dunks in the regular season in the country, slamming home 96 dunks.
By Barry B. Benson Jazz Editor @YaLike_Jazz
With the 2016-17 season in their rearview mirror, FGCU men’s basketball team forwards Rayjon Tucker and Demetris Morant have decided to run for mayor of Dunk City, Florida. “Today’s a very special day for me,” Tucker said. “Dunking is my favorite thing to do and I’m really good at it so I think I’m definitely qualified to become Dunk City’s mayor. Name one other candidate that broke a shot clock after
dunking on a defender, I’ll wait.” Despite being teammates on the court, Demetris Morant has announced he is running against Tucker. “Rayjon’s my dude but I think I’d be a better mayor,” Morant said. “I think slamming home 97 dunks throughout the season gives me more experience as a dunker to become the mayor of this town. I had the second-most dunks in the nation behind Tacko Fall and he is 7 feet 6 inches tall.” While both candidates bring different athletic
abilities to the table, Tucker and Morant will look to succeed former mayor, Chase Fieler. During his four-year tenure that started his junior year at FGCU, Fieler threw down slams left and right and played a big part in helping FGCU earn its infamous name Dunk City during the Eagles’ run to the Sweet 16 of the NCAA Tournament. “I’ve been out of college playing pro-ball in Europe for the past three years, so it’s about time they replaced me,” Fieler said. “Both candidates bring great athleticism to the
table, and I’m excited to see who the people of Dunk City elect as their new major.” Slamming home a dunk in the ASUN Men’s Basketball Championship game against UNF that broke the shot clock, Tucker earned the seven spot on SportsCenter’s Top-10. Despite not appearing in SportsCenter’s Top10, Morant appeared in a video by Bleacher Report alongside Tucker and other members of the team where he showcased some of his hops. While Rayjon Tucker enters his junior year
during the 2017-18 season, Morant played his final game for the Green and Blue in the Eagles’ FirstRound loss in the NCAA Tournament against FSU. “I may be graduating, but I think not being on the team anymore will give me more time to focus on my job as mayor if I’m elected,” Morant said. “If I get drafted by an NBA organization or play ball overseas in Europe, I think I’ll have the best chance of representing Dunk City around the globe.” While voting begins on April 1, Morant and Tucker will meet at Alico Arena
on March 31 for a Mayoral Debate. “I’m used to going head-to-head with Meech (Morant) at practice and this isn’t going to be any different,” Tucker said. “Well, we’ll be wearing suit and ties, not our practice jerseys so it will be a bit different. Anyway, it’s going down and be sure to vote for me on Twitter.” Residents of Dunk City who’d like to vote for their new major can vote on Twitter through a poll that will be tweeted by @ fgcueaglenews on April 1.
DII and DIII hockey teams merge to create DI team
SN Photo / Kim Possible With hopes to go to the Frozen Four in its first season as a DI team, the FGCU DIII hockey team will join forces with the DII team for the next season.
By Barry B. Benson Jazz Editor @YaLike_Jazz
After finding success in their respective levels of competition, the FGCU DII and DIII hockey teams have decided to join forces and create a DI team. “We’re very excited to compete at the top level of college hockey and bring a strong group of dudes together for the challenge,” FGCU head coach Bob Brinkworth said. “We’re ready to get out on the ice and make a run at the Frozen Four.” With the DII side winning an ACHA National
Championship in 2012 and 2016, the new DI side welcomes plenty of postseason experience from both clubs. With rumors swirling about the DII team moving up the ranks and becoming a DI NCAA side, former DII player Jack Emmer recommended just taking the two teams and combining them. “This was a dream of mine when I played hockey at FGCU,” Emmer said. “I thought about just merging the two teams and creating a DI team when I was at a Panthers game and now it’s happening. This team is destined for greatness and
I think a visit to the Frozen Four is definitely in their future.” Because every DI side is required to have their own hockey rink, FGCU Athletic Director Ken Kavanagh announced the Eagles’ rink will be built on top of Alico Arena. “I’m so excited to have a DI hockey team,” Kavanagh said. “They’ve elevated their game to the next level year after year and that’s why we’re putting their rink on top of Alico.” Following
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SN Illustration / The Moth Man
EDITOR: BARRY B. BENSON SPORTS@EAGLENEWS.ORG
A6 SPORTS SEAGULL NEWS WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29
Joe Dooley sets Guinness World Record for loudest scream By Barry B. Benson Jazz Editor @YaLike_Jazz In the FGCU men’s basketball team’s First Round loss in the NCAA Tournament against FSU, FGCU head coach Joe Dooley set a Guinness World Record for loudest scream inside of an arena, after yelling at an official during the game. “It’s safe to say I was kind of mad,” Dooley said. “The official kept calling everything FSU’s way, and I reached my breaking point. I kind of just let it all out, and it turned out to be a pretty loud scream.” While Guinness World Record representative
>> Hockey continued from A5 Wilson Bradshaw’s retirement after his 10-year tenure as the President of FGCU, the rink will be named Bradshaw’s Hockey Place. “I’m incredibly honored
Richardson Michaelson was in attendance to measure Michael Ojo’s size 22 shoe, Michaelson happened to have a machine that measured sound decibels. “When Joe (Dooley) let out that ferocious scream, my ear drums exploded,” Michaelson said. “My decibel reading device read 170 decibels and I knew right then and there that that was the loudest scream ever composed by a human being.” With the previous world record standing at 130 decibels set by Michael Scott when Dunder Mifflin was set on fire by Dwight Schrute, Dooley surpassed that mark by a whopping 40 decibels.
“I was all the way in Scranton and I heard that guy (Dooley) scream,” Scott said. “I never knew that basketball coaches could get so angry and scream that loud.” While several FSU players and fans at the Amway Center had to be treated for broken ear drums, the Eagles were unfazed by Dooley’s scream. “Oh we’re used to those screams,” said FGCU guard Brandon Goodwin. “We hear screams a lot louder than that when we’re practicing so that when he unleashes his signature screech we’re ready for it. Besides losing in the end, Dooley’s screams at practice helped us get ready
for his big scream on the big stage.” After the game, Michaelson presented Dooley with a certified Guinness World Record certificate for his scream. Prior to handing Dooley his award, Michaelson announced that Dooley will be featured in the Guinness World Records 2018 book. “It’s an honor for me to represent FGCU in such a prestigious book,” Dooley said. “I’m going to buy the book as soon as it’s available at my local bookstore, and I’m going to place it next to my certificate.”
to have the hockey team’s rink named after me,” Bradshaw said. “I’ve never really watched hockey but now that I have my own hockey place, I’ll definitely be at every single game.” With hopes of reaching the Frozen Four in their
first year of NCAA Tournament eligibility, the Eagles will face the top-20 teams in the NCAA national rankings throughout their first campaign. With a tall task in front of them, the Eagles have
added five recruits to their roster. Their recruiting class is highlighted by the top-ranked prospect in the nation, Javaris Jamar Javarison-Lamar. “I don’t care how good the NCAA thinks our opponents are,” Javarison-
SN Photo / Brad and Boujee Joe Dooley’s (left) scream at this offical was a whopping 170 sound decibels.
Lamar said. “We’re going to take down whatever team they put in front of us and beat them by three goals every night. I’ll put the team on my back. They don’t know how hard I grind on and off the Ice.” In their first game at
Bradshaw’s Hockey Place, the Eagles will welcome nine -time National Champion Michigan. “Michigan might have nine titles but we’re ready to begin our journey for our first,” Brinkworth said.
Christian Pulisic decides to go to college and play for FGCU By Barry B. Benson Jazz Editor @YaLike_Jazz
Photo courtesy of Christian Pulisic’s Instagram Christian Pulisic (right) celebrates his goals lthe way every college kid danced in 2016, by dabbing.
Brad Young Position: Photog Freshmen 5 feet 8 inches Hometown: Altoona, Pennsylvania Averaging 1,000 shots a game, Brad Young has covered most, if not all, of the athletic games at FGCU. The photo editor for Eagle News, Young’s pictures are found in every issue of Eagle News and sometimes on fgcuathletics.com. Usually wearing a backwards cap on and off the court, Young has 1,394 followers on Instagram. After shooting the FGCU men’s basketball team in the NCAA Tournament, Young earned two SPJ Region three awards for Best Feature Photography and Best Sports Photography. With his trusty Nikon D4, lookout for Young’s photos on other athletes Instagram’s without him being tagged.
Already the most decorated soccer prospect the U.S. has seen in a long time, Borussia Dortmund and United States national team starlet Christian Pulisic have decided to go to college and play for the FGCU men’s soccer team. “We’re excited to add such a well-rounded player to our team,” FGCU head coach Jesse Cormier said. “Pulisic is a great kid, and he’s got even more room to grow here at FGCU.” Despite graduating high school in the summer of 2016, Pulisic opted not to go to college when his career as a professional with Borussia Dortmund and the U.S. men’s national team skyrocketed. “I feel like the time is right to come to college and play at the collegiate level,” Pulisic said. “I’m so excited to have the full-on college experience while I’m at FGCU. I’ll probably join a fraternity like ATO so I can have the full-on college experience.” A native of Hershey, Pennsylvania, Pulisic became the young player to represent the senior national team in a FIFA World Cup Qualifier when he appeared for the U.S. on March 29, 2016 against
Guatemala. The youngest player to score for the United States, score in a World Cup Qualifier, score two goals and start for the U.S., Pulisic scored 20 goals in 34 games with the U17 side before joining the U.S. senior team. Playing club soccer in Germany, Pulisic played in 15 games for Borussia Dortmund’s academy team before being brought into the first team during the 2015-16 season. After making 12 appearances and scoring two goals for Dortmund in the 2015-16 campaign, Pulisic has appeared in 31 games thus far in the 201617 campaign, scoring five goals. “He’s a talented and fun kid to be around,” Marco Reus, Borussia Dortmund forward said. “This kid is the future of American soccer and he’s going to be fun to watch for years to come.” With four goals in 12 games for the United States men’s national team, Pulisic feels his decision to come back to college will benefit him on the club and international level. “Obviously it’s awesome to represent your country and play for one of the best clubs in the world, but if I want to guarantee my spot as a starter at both
levels, I have to go back to school,” Pulisic said. “Albert (Ruiz) and the gang are a phenomenal team, and I really believe they will help me elevate my game to make me a world class superstar once I’m done playing for the Green and Blue.” Following an exit in the second round of the NCAA tournament, the Eagles are eager to link the top goal scorer in the nation and Mac Hermann trophy finalist Albert Ruiz together with Pulisic. “He’s a really, really, really good player,” Ruiz said. “He’s proven himself in the Champion’s League with Borussia Dortmund and at the international level. We’re lucky he’s an 18-yearold kid that wanted to come to college because he’s a really talented player. With hopes to bring FGCU its first-ever National Championship, Pulisic will lead an Eagles side that welcomes back the majority of its team from a year ago. “We think this can be our year,” Pulisic said. “The guys had the highest winstreak in the nation and lead the country in goals last year while earning a No. 11 ranking at one point in the campaign. This side has proven itself against some top schools and we’re ready to overcome that final hump to greatness.”
SN Photo / The Mothman
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Goodbye bunnies, hello cats
This competition is for those who want to take a cat home without their consent By Bruno Jupiter Starlord of the Galaxy @jupiterascending President Donald Trump is breaking the mold once again. This time, he is skipping the traditional Easter Egg Roll Event on the White House lawn, and replacing it with the PussyGrabbing Competition. The competition is not targeted for children and families, but rather to insecure males who can’t cope with women in positions of power and the growing diversity in our society.
To win, the participants have to find and grab as many stray cats as possible. “It’s a tremendous achievement of my administration,” Trump said while holding one of the stray cats that was clearly trying to run away from him. “These cats are so grateful and so happy. This one right here is shaking from sheer happiness.” The cat passed out moments later. Sean Spicer, White House Press Secretary, also adopted a cat and named it Melissa. “There are at least one
million cats here,” Spicer said. “I counted them myself. Period.” Another breakthrough in this event is that all cats have green cards. Not a single cat in the event meows in Spanish. “The Department of Homeland Security did a fine job in letting in the best and cleanest cats,” Trump said. “Because when Mexico sends in their cats, they’re not sending their cleanest cats. They’re bringing ticks. They’re bringing disease. And some, I assume, are clean cats.” Many Trump advisers
and supporters are excited for the event, including former National Secutiry Advisor Michael Flynn. “None of these cats are from Russia, that I assure you,” Flynn said. Flynn’s cat is named Purrtin. Some attendees brought some pussy hats with the Trump’s slogan “Make America Great Again.” “These pussy hats are great. I feel so empowered right now,” Trump’s advisor Kellyane Conway said. “When I see a stray cat, I’ve gotta grab it,” Trump said. “I’m automatically
SN Illustration / The Mothman
President Donald Trump announced the event during his latest press conference while holding his cat, Putin Boots.
attracted to beautiful cats — I just start adopting them. It’s like a magnet. I don’t even wait. And when
you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.”
Trump and the Fake News Factory
We’ve got another puzzle for you: Trump revealed to be leader of oompa-loompas By Regina Phalange Assistant Smelly Cat @hesherlobster
SN Illustration / The Mothman
President Donald Trump not only became the President of the United States, he also won the election for Loopaland.
A groundbreaking conspiracy has been revealed after a man came forward with information regarding President Donald Trump’s unknown, sugared past. The man, a former chocolate factory owner, claimed that his workers, small men known as oompa-loompas, committed treason in the factory by refusing to follow orders. After questioning, the workers admitted that their true leader was none other
than Trump himself. Trump refused to comment when he was asked about the allegations of the oompa-loompa following, but he took to Twitter hours later. “These charges against me are false,” Trump said on Twitter. “They’re just false. Just more fake news spreaded by CNN. If you’re wise, you’ll listen to me!” According to the oompa-loompas, they received word during the primaries that if they secretly supported Trump throughout the election, they would not be deported back to their country
and would be allowed to continue working illegally in the United States. The FBI has already begun to look into these allegations, deeming them a concern for national security. Investigations are still underway, but information has already been released to the public. Particularly outrageous to many Americans seems to be the revelation that Trump was actually born in Loompaland and has posed as a native-born American for 70 years. “I’m in complete shock,” a Trump supporter
who wished to remain anonymous said. “I voted for this man, but now they’re telling me that what I took to be a really bad fake tan is actually his real skin.” Many Americans seem to have mixed emotions, ranging from anger to shock about the news. The oompa-loompas, however, have expressed their desire to follow Trump. “He is our leader,” Papa Loompa, the eldest of the oompa-loompas, said. “We elected him as our president in Loompaland, and now he is our president here.”
The Great Korean-American Meme War By Minoru Hideaki Token Conservative @MAmemeA Kim Jong-un has gone absolutely crazy. North Korea has reportedly formed a government department that is currently devoted to using memes to subvert American politics. Yes, the North Korean government has been engaging in meme warfare. Reports have surfaced about the mysterious agency and their operations after documents were obtained by Wikileaks. The “Korean Internet Defense Force” (KIDF) was formed weeks after Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 Presidential Election as a sub-branch in North Korea’s intelligence unit “Bureau 121.” Donald Trump’s popularity in various online sites such as 4chan helped create memes or alter the meaning of others as
propaganda for him, his campaign and right-wing politics like the following: Pepe the Frog, the Cult of Kek, Never Come Down meme and Can’t Stump the Trump memes. In recent years, the internet community has mocked the dictator through various memes that mocked his intelligence, eating habits and sanity. The department was most likely created out of anger due to the fact that Trump has more supporters in some online communities. Initially, the group had not been given any orders related to memes. They had been tasked with discrediting the administration through public figures by bribing multiple Hollywood celebrities, including Madonna, Amy Schumer and Chelsea Handler. The payments made to each person ranged from $300,000-$750,000
The agency also plans on using memes and other online media to troll communities in South Korea and Japan. While the North
depending on the popularity of the individuals with the money being delivered to their houses in Donald Trump piñatas. Unbeknownst to them, the leaked information also states that the North Koreans used counterfeit American currency known as “superbills” as payment. They recruited Shia Lebouf and used his “He Will Not Divide Us” as a ploy to disrupt Trump, but the effort embarrassingly failed after 4chan trolled Shia by raising a “Make American Great Again” hat and Pepe the Frog t-shirt. However, the Wikileaks documents also hinted that the agency is now taking a radical new approach by switching to meme warfare. Documents indicate that KIDF plans to infiltrate popular Trump communities such as /pol/ on 4chan. The group will most likely flood threads with anti-Trump “moe” anime girl memes, which
are common on many online communities. They plan on spreading memes related to North Korean propaganda through the dissemination
of North Korean communist anime and games, which they hope will subvert several online Trumpsupporting imageboards and in some anime and game communities in the United States.
Koreans plan on engaging Trump and his followers with online trolling, the expectation for them to succeed is low. The Shia Lebouf debacle shows that many Trump supporters on like 4chan possess skills
excess trash. Actually, the real reason bees are swarming the campus is because they’re lonely. The bee clan and the wasp clan have been having a spiraling disagreement, and because they’re no longer spending their days stinging people together, the bees need new friends. The bees know how much trash Americans throw out per day, so they thought the best place
to hang out to make new friends was the trash cans. It’s actually all very logical once you think about it. I have a bee friend, and he always visits me near the trash can behind Merwin Hall. We even shared chocolate milk together one day. Bees make very nice friends. They know all of the gossip from flying around campus all day, and
they’ll threaten to sting anyone who bothers you. I know that bees have a reputation, but now they’re being targeted as campus enemy number one, and that’s not OK with me or any of my fellow bee activists. You should stop writing articles about that life-size Cheeto and all of the political drama surrounding him and focus more on the real problem of
This is not his actual face.
Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
that would rival the CIA. Many, especially those within the Cult of Kek, have had tremendous experience with meme warfare during the “Great Meme War of 2016.” North Korea is currently behind in their meme warfare department, but Trump’s supporters came out of the blue during the 2016 election and went from irrelevant to a significant force in online communities. North Korea may become a dangerous threat to America in meme creation and combat. It is crazy for North Korea to engage America in a meme war over the ego of a dictator, and it is even crazier to do so when they are lacking in their capabilities. Many more innocent lives and memes will be wasted over no logical reason whatsoever.
Letter to the Editor Dear Editor, I am writing to you to discuss the topic of the many bees on campus. Many students have complained about the bees that are crowding our school, but they are here for a very important reason. They are protecting our trash. We see them everywhere on campus, but whenever we pass by
a trash can, the amount of bees seems to triple. I’ve heard people say that this is inconvenient, but really, the bees are just trying to protect the environment. I read that the average American throws away 4.5 pounds of trash, and since the internet said it, it must be true. Therefore, the bees are just being guardians of the Earth and protecting the planet from all of our
the bees being harassed on campus. Bees deserve some recognition too because, if anything, we are here for you. Sincerely, A Very Irritated Bee Activist
WITHHOLD
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Trump won’t let libs melt By Yah Cuh Voe-Nee Womanaging Editor @dontwannabeobamamyself
SN Illustration / The Mothman
After the White House released its proposed budget mid-month, liberals across the nation cowered at the news that the National Endowment for the Arts among other unimportant things, such as the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and the Environmental Protection Agency, would be defunded. Have no fear though, Generation Snowflake, President Donald Trump is here to help, not harm you. The funds saved from these endeavors will be reallocated for a program to help left-wingers cope with the next four years under the Trump administration and a majority-Republican House and Senate. The Foundation for Liberal Snowflakes will offer such rehabilitation services as group cry sessions, Obama-Biden meme therapy, #StillWithHer drum circles and more. Though the nation’s former president is too busy focused on whatever-island-this-
week’s heat to care for his former backers, now turned snowflakes, Trump has laid out a plan — “the best plan,” he exclusively tells Seagull News — for what to do from here. “Snowflakes love me,” Trump said. “The liberal kind, and the cold ones too. We still have that, you know? Snow. The fake news outlets will tell you climate change got rid of it, but we have it. The best snowflakes are right here in America.” When asked about the plans to abolish the NEA, in particular, President Barack Obama said, “Hang on.” “NEA?” Obama said, removing his sunglasses from his Caribbean-tanned face. “Who now?” The Foundation for Liberal Snowflakes’ website is being made by some libertarian coder in Astoria, Queens, so it’ll be up once he stops making excuses about the few inches of snow halting his work flow. For now, you can find more information about the Foundation for Liberal Snowflakes by visiting your local Starbucks’ bulletin board.
The Stilt 5k
Proceeds go to the Broken Stilts Foundation By Donny Drumpf YUGE Editor @realDonnyDrumpf Amid a tumultuous and polarizing political climate, a group of those who stand taller than us all are there to make us feel at ease. To raise awareness for the gift of stilting, the Broken Stilts Foundation is partnering with Stilts for America and FGCU to host the inaugural Make Stilting Great Again 5k this coming week on Friday April 1, to fundraise for the Lee County Society of Fractured Stilters. The foundation’s goal for the event is to help mend the broken stilts of 1,000 Southwest Floridians. Since the organizations inception, they have helped over 1 million stiilters nationwide — 3.1415 million globally. The event is set to take place around FGCU Blvd, which is approximately two-and-a-half miles or roughly five kilometers. Participants must run in full stilt attire; no walking is allowed, nor is anyone permitted to take off their stilts at any point in the race. Throughout the loop, carnies will be placed every quarter mile to supply
the runners with water, encouragement, and even entertainment. The carnies wish they were able to participate in the race, however they aren’t eligible for the stilting papers required to get a permit. On the FGCU recreational field there will be carnival food such as funnel cakes, fried oreos and other ideal postmarathon food. Nancy Grace, full-time pretend-prosecutor and part-time stilter, says she is stoked for the event. “After the whole Casey Anthony trial I really needed a hobby, so I took up the stilts. I just love participating in these types events so much that I have a pair of stilts I decorated by hand with paint and glitter for each individual race I’m gonna attend across the country.” Grace says she has been training for these races for some time now; she even proclaims to be able run just over three miles in fullstilt without stopping. “I plan on taking this trophy home and snapping the stilts of anyone who crosses my path,” Grace said. “They better hope they have some sturdy stilts.” While Grace and those
alike have their eye on the prize, others in the stilting community are more concerned with mentoring future stilters. Dublé Pegleg, chairman of Stilts for America, said, “Growing up, my father’s mother’s sister’s husband’s nephew was a clown and he taught me the ways of stilting. I was like Luke Skywalker and he was Yoda. I knew from then on it was my duty to heighten the community.” Organizers of the Make Stilting Great Again 5k, Leggy Long and Steve Knees, said they have been planning the event since the beginning of the semester. They said they realized how under-appreciated the tilting community was after there was not even one candidate who ran for president on stilts. “It is completely discriminatory. No one should assume another person’s legs,” Knees said. He says the first start would be for a candidate to choose a stilting vice president, similar to how John McCain selected Sarah Palin. Knees went on to add that he hopes society will one day recognize stilt culture and “overcome the height of the challenge.”
SN Photos / Donny Drumpf (Left) Nancy Grace, full-time pretend-prosecuter and part-time stilter, stopped to talk to other aspiring stilters at the Broken Stilt Foundation’s latest meetup. (Right) Grace held a lecture on why it is important to fund this organization.
Agency of the Millennium After donating over 38 metric-tons of snow to Gov. Rick Scott and the state of Florida over the past three years, the North Dakotan Center for Southern Cold Weather Enculturation will be hosting yet another snow-bank drive to help people who have never seen snow emotioanlly cope with the devistation. From 8 a.m. to 12 p.m. Saturday, March 25 at the YMCA in Velva, North Dakota. To help, please don’t contact anyone because you aren’t actually cool enough to participate — you’re a Floridian whose never even seen snow.
Meet the 2017 Hall of Fame recipients
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The official student media group at Florida Gulf Coast University since 1997
AGLE NEWS Volume 15, Issue 28
www.eaglenews.org
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
FGCU alumna sets gold standard College of Education grad receives Golden Apple Award By Caylee Weintraub Staff Writer @fgcueaglenews Mariah Washington accepted the Golden Apple Award for excellence in teaching on Friday, March 10 in front of her third grade class at Bayshore Elementary as students and colleagues scrambled to embrace and congratulate her. According to the Foundation for Lee County Public Schools, more than 2,000 teachers are nominated for the award each year. Of those 2,000 nominees, only 30 become
finalists. Before being chosen for the prestigious award, Washington was personally interviewed by the Foundation for Lee County Public Schools and had a classroom observation. The “exceptional” teaching abilities Washington demonstrated in both her interview and her observation qualified her as one of only six Golden Apple recipients. “When I found out that I received the Golden Apple Award I was overcome with joy, excitement and gratefulness,” Washington wrote in an email. “My
students ran up and squeezed me and I felt so extremely loved in that moment; it was a moment I will never forget, one of the best in my life.” Washington’s journey to becoming a teacher was not a straight path. When Washington arrived at FGCU on a softball scholarship, she was unsure what career she wanted to pursue. “I knew I wanted to help others and make an impact,” Washington wrote, “so I originally was on the Health Science/Nursing route. I took all of the classes I needed but when
it came to applying for the Nursing program, I had a feeling that wasn’t where I was being called.” Washington turned to God to help her find her passion. “I am a Christian, and I am very strong in my faith so I decided to pray about it and seek God’s guidance in my career path,” Washington wrote. “He led me to education and it was almost like a ‘How did I not think of this in the first place?’ type of feeling.” This feeling was
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Photos courtesy of Mariah Washington (Upper left) FGCU alumna Mariah Washington smiles as her students embrace her after hearing that she won the Golden Apple Award. (Lower left) Washington covers her face as her students embrace her. (Lower right) Washington smiles, along with her students, in her classroom. Washington received the Golden Apple Award on Friday, March 10, competing against 30 finalists and 2,000 nominees.
FGCU is losing its alligator population By Antoniette Meyer Contributing Writer @antoniettemeyer FGCU is losing its alligator population because people are feeding the alligators. Phillip Allman, FGCU professor of vertebrate zoology, said that FGCU used to have a lot of big alligators on campus. Allman said that feeding campus alligators has been going on for a long time, and he has noticed this since he began teaching at FGCU 10 years ago. He feels that because of this, FGCU has lost most of the bigger alligators. “If you are walking somewhere and notice someone handing you free food, then maybe it is worth trying a second time when you are hungry again,” Allman said. “The pattern is reinforced every time someone throws food in the pond when walking out of
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SoVi or at any of the other ponds.” When fed, alligators can overcome their natural wariness and learn to associate people with food. When this happens, some of these alligators have to be removed and killed, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission website. According to Ricky Pires, the Director of Wings of Hope, once an alligator loses its fear of humans it can become aggressive. The aggressiveness comes from alligators associating humans with food and the alligator’s natural instinct to hunt and eat. “That home out there is their home, not our home,” Pires said. “People may not mean harm by feeding an alligator, but it sure does harm the alligator because it often loses its life.” According to FWC,
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when an alligator is believed to pose a threat to people, pets or property, and is at least four feet long, it can be considered a nuisance alligator. If a nuisance gator is a threat, it must be removed. The removal of a nuisance alligator leads it to its death. Nuisance alligators cannot be relocated instead of being killed, because they often try to return to their capture site. This could cause problems with the alligator becoming more aggressive, and it would likely be more difficult to capture the alligator a second time. Most of the alligators spotted on campus are under four feet long, which doesn’t meet the criteria for a nuisance alligator. This
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EN Photo / Taylor Crehan Signs stating that alligators are present on campus and how to handle them can be found throughout FGCU. According to vertebrate zoology professor Phillip Allman, there used to be a lot more alligators on campus, and that feeding them has caused several of the animals to be removed or killed.
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B2 NEWS EAGLE NEWS WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29 The official student-produced newspaper at Florida Gulf Coast University since 1997.
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AGLE NEWS
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Editor-in-Chief Emily Ford
editorinchief@eaglenews.org Advertising and Operations Manager Nikki Henkell
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>> Here’s your chance to kayak with great young people and earn service. South Fort Myers High School Life Skills Department will be paddling on the Estero River April 5, 9:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Volunteers will assist disabled students while kayaking. Contact Lauren at lamorimanno0809@eagle.fgcu.edu. >> What is the most unique fundraiser of the year? How about Lighthouse for the Blind’s Dining in the Dark, where guests dine blindfolded, dance and enjoy barbecue. Held Saturday, April 1 from 5 p.m. to 10 p.m., at 18500 State Road 31, Alva. Your help is needed with set up, break down, parking and other jobs. Free drinks, snacks and souvenir T-shirt will be provided. Please contact Carissa Smith at carissaesmith@gmail.com or 239-728-8802. >> For you social media savvy outdoor people, how about helping at the Lakes Park Brick by Brick Picnic Sunday, April 2? Fast thumbs needed for Twitter and Instagram coverage of the event. Volunteers should plan on working from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. Picnic meal will be included. Please contact Erin White at info@lakespark.org or 239-533-7575.
>> Here comes the Fast and Furriest 5k and one Mile Walk in support of the Gulf Coast Humane Society. Saturday, April 8, at Hammond Stadium for tail-waggin’ fun. Want to volunteer to make the day a dog gone success? Contact Jenna Walther at volunteers@ gulfcoasthumanesociety.org for information. >> The Lee County Housing Development Corporation is looking for someone to help with community awareness, writing press releases, creating flyers, sending out email blasts and researching information about fair housing for newsletters, assisting with compiling email lists, etc. Contact Stacy Lee-Williams at stacycleewilliams@gmail.com for information. >> BBQ, Bands and Brew! Make this event to support Lee Builders Care a success by helping direct traffic in the parking lots. Forty people are needed, you will receive a free T-shirt and free admission to the festival on Sunday, April 9 at the Alliance for the Arts in Fort Myers. Contact Sheryl at SherylJV@leeschools.net for more information.
>> Golden Apple Award continued from B1
Entertainment and Lifestyle Editor Julia Browning
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magnified after visiting an elementary school in her hometown with the FGCU softball team. Washington credits this moment for being a key indication that teaching was the path she was meant to follow. “After I left that day I felt that little spark begin in my heart for what turned out to be a huge passionate fire that I now have for working with children,” Washington wrote. “I’ve never looked back.” The Lee County School District created The Golden Apple Award in 1987 specifically to foster the love of teaching Washington describes. On its website, the Foundation says the Golden Apple Awards were created to “enhance public education by
Assistant Entertainment and Lifestyle Editor Jesse Martin
assistantentertainment@eaglenews.org Sports Editor Miguel Rodriguez
sports@eaglenews.org Assistant Sports Editor Emily Kois
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Opinion Editor Bruno Halpern
opinion@eaglenews.org Assistant Opinion Editor Sydney Van Dreason
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Photo courtesy of Mariah Washington Mariah Washington (center) smiles as a photographer shoots her hugging her students while receiving the Golden Apple Award from Lee County Public Schools. The award was created in 1987 to inspire educators and to foster a love of teaching into instructors.
>> Alligators continued from A1 means that the alligator does not necessarily need to be removed and killed. Instead, it can be directed back into the water without further action. In Florida, it is against the law to feed alligators.
The Florida Administrative Code states, “No person shall intentionally feed, or entice with feed, any crocodilian unless held in captivity under a permit issued by the Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission or otherwise provided by this Title.” When asked what
the consequences were for students feeding an alligator, UPD Chief Steven Moore said, “Generally we would issue a warning to try to educate the person. We have, one time, issued a Notice to Appear requiring a court appearance.” “State law forbids
feeding alligators so students can, and should, be arrested when feeding the animals,” Allman said. He also thinks that more education about feeding alligators is required and that UPD should step up the enforcement of this law. “We have got to get away from our pleasure
recognizing and rewarding excellence in teaching.” As Washington reflected on her award, she began thinking about her own professors at FGCU and the effect they had on her enthusiasm for education. “… I had some outstanding professors to help prepare me for my own classroom,” Washington wrote. “Professor (Diane) Kratt and Dr. (Penny) Finley were a few amazing educators that stand out in my mind, and I appreciate their guidance.” Washington hopes to have a similar influence on her own students. “My message [is that] you can do anything you put your mind to,” Washington wrote. “Find something that you love, and do it with your whole heart, and with as much passion as you possibly can.”
of feeding wildlife and remember what’s best for them,” Pires said. “Alligators are not the nuisance species. People who feed them are the nuisance species.”
entvdirector@eaglenews.org ENTV Assistant Director Katie Hopkins
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Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons An alligator wades in a shallow body of water with its mouth open. FGCU’s alligator population has dwindled because of students feeding the animal, according to professor Phillip Allman.
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WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29 EAGLE NEWS NEWS B3
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Meet the 2017 Hall of Fame By Alexandra Figares Assistant News Editor @fgcueaglenews
Andrea Jarquin Communication & Sociology major “I wasn’t going to go to college after high school. My friends got into some great schools around the country and I made up a fake college schedule so they would think I was taking classes at my community college. I was embarrassed. They were at such a great level and I was holding myself back. To be here now, it’s… amazing. I’m very grateful. I’m very fortunate. I couldn’t have done it without my mentors. I’m elated. I’m as happy as can be.”
Nora Johnson Finance major “I was so excited; I was actually studying in the library when I found out. It’s such an honor. It’s such a competitive group every year and everyone who applies is so deserving. Being recognized in this way is extremely meaningful and I’m so grateful and honored. I wanted to say thank you to the committee and everybody who has supported me throughout my time at FGCU. The honors college has been a great asset to me and has helped me so much on this journey. Thank you!”
Paul Olivera Finance major “Whenever I first read my name I was in shock for a good hour. I was shaking. Since my sister passed its been extremely difficult. I’ve been trying very hard to make the best out of the situation by always being positive. I’m very honored. The fact that the committee considered me as a candidate meant a lot. I’m very grateful. It’s because of FGCU that I’ve had the opportunity to do everything I’ve done.”
Jordan Blankenship Art major “FGCU has changed my life in the most profound way, I have had the best professors and mentors that anyone could have asked for. In these four years, I have gained confidence and believe that I have the best foundation for my future successes. FGCU has afforded me incredible opportunities, and lifetime friendships, I am forever grateful.”
The second-story of the Cohen Center holds the FGCU Hall of Fame - the highest recognition given to student leaders. A collection of 10 picture frames organized by year line the walls and will grow by one, as 10 students have been selected into the Hall of Fame for the 2016-17 school year. Jordan Blankenship, Emmalyn Green, Caroline Haney, Andrea Jarquin, Nyasia Jenkins, Nora Johnson, Sara Lohbauer, Paul Olivera, Logan Schulz and Sarah Stauring are the newest members of the 2017 FGCU Hall of Fame. “The recipients this year, and every year, are outstanding student leaders who have excelled in numerous ways on campus,” said Vice President of Student Affairs J. Michael Rollo. “The selection process is highly competitive.” Finalists are chosen by a committee of nine members selected by the Vice President of Student Affairs in consultation with the Dean of Students. At least one member of the committee is an alumni and member of the Hall of Fame. The committee is comprised of chair Dean of Students Michele Yovanovich and members David Deiros, Rose Fuller, Roger Green, Lindsay Johns, Brandon Johnson, Lisa Neris, Jessica Scanlon and Claude Villiers chose the 10 recipients based on specific criteria.
Responsible for establishing the criteria for Hall of Fame applicants and for appointing the first committee, Rollo planted a seed that resulted into the first inductions of the FGCU Hall of Fame in 2006-07. Eleven years later, and around 91 pictures line the hall of fame. The application process begins in February and finalists are announced in March. A recognition ceremony is held each spring semester commemorating individual recipients. Inductees receive a lapel pin, a framed certificate and a medallion to wear at commencement. Students must meet selection criteria including academic achievement, participation in student activities and campus life, demonstrated excellence in service and leadership qualities as well as meet specified GPA requirements along with graduation requirements. In addition, a resume, a three-minute introductory video, a personal statement essay and at least three recommendation forms are required to establish candidacy. All students are welcome to apply; however, only students who meet the minimum selection criteria are advanced for committee review. Of those who apply, a maximum of 10 students are inducted into the FGCU hall of fame yearly. “Being a successful leader and maintaining outstanding academic status deserves to be singled out for special recognition,” Rollo said.
Sara Lohbauer Biology major “I feel beyond honored to have won this award, when I received the email I had overwhelming emotions of gratitude and joy. I never imagined myself as a student that would achieve such an honor. FGCU has provided me with countless opportunities. These opportunities range from research, conference presentations, teaching assisting and service. I truly believe that my undergraduate career would not have been the same at any other university.”
Logan Schulz Eagle News reached out to Schulz several times, and didn’t receive a response.
Caroline Haney Communication major “FGCU has helped me become a well-rounded person. I’ve never experienced the kind of support from a community as I did from attending FGCU. Whether it’s students or faculty members, everyone is there to support you and help you become a better version of yourself and I think that support has helped me grow and become a better leader on campus and hopefully outside of school.”
Sarah Stauring Biology major “I am thankful for the opportunities that FGCU has presented and for the faculty and staff who truly care about the students. I am grateful to have won, because it allows me to shed light on FGCU’s amazing impact on my undergraduate experience. I am thankful to everyone and everything that has helped shape and move me forward.”
Emmalyn Green Political science major “I’m extremely honored and humbled. The people that were selected along with me are such amazing leaders on this campus and I strive to be more like them. It’s such a humbling experience to forever hold a place in the hall of fame. FGCU is such an important part of who I am and I am honored to be a part of it as well.”
Nyasia Jenkins Health science major “FGCU has impacted me by giving me the opportunity to grow and develop in ways I would not have imagined. FGCU has made me a stronger, confident, and more resilient leader who can adapt to new situations.” Quotes were edited for length and clarity
ENTERTAINMENT & LIFESTYLE 188 keys to success
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The beginning of an FGCU pianist’s story
Photo courtesy of Yun Cao Yun Cao, an FGCU music and political science major, is gearing up for his seconnd Carengie Hall performance at the end of May.
By Julia Browning E&L Editor @juliabrowningxo When he was eight years old, the course of Yun Cao’s life changed forever. He and his mother immigrated to the United States, and he began playing the piano. Though at the time, the young boy thought of piano as nothing more than an intriguing hobby, 12 years later he’s playing
with FGCU’s Symphony Orchestra and has played with a myriad of other orchestras throughout his life, playing not only piano, but violin as well. In addition to Cao’s music classes, he has honors classes and courses for his second major, political science. For Cao, time management is key, with his schedule including rehearsals with other
students as well as his own three-to-four-hour practice sessions. “Being a pianist is like being an athlete — you have to train and improve everyday,” Cao said. His performances make the hard work worth it, like his Carnegie Hall debut, in which he played J.S. Bach’s C-sharp minor Prelude and Fugue from the WellTempered Klavier Book One. And the hard work isn’t letting up anytime soon, because at the end of this May, Cao is going back to Carnegie to perform once again. “As a performer, my job is to communicate to the audience what the composer intended to portray in the music she or he has written,” Cao said. “As a ‘messenger of music,’ I have the duty to carry on musical traditions that have been passed down to me from generation to generation. If you follow my ‘musical lineage,’ you can trace my teacher’s teacher
etc. back to Beethoven himself. Music, at the end of its day, is still a form of entertainment — my job is to deliver music to the audience in its most pure and polished form.” Cao’s taken his music from personal to professional, playing piano at fundraising concerts and other outreach events, and working at FGCU as a piano accompanist, accompanying five vocal and two instrumentalist majors. He also frequently performs on campus with shows throughout April, leading up to his Carnegie performance. On Sunday, March 26, Cao completed Beethoven Violin Sonata No. 6 in A major with violinist Kristen Weis at U. Tobe Recital Hall. On Friday, April 7, he’ll perform with FGCU student mezzo-soprano, Olivia Hitt, music selections from Baroque to musical theater. For the last performance
in April, Cao will play ensemble music with the piano studio at the U. Tobe Recital Hall. Through the month of May, Cao will be heavily practicing for his Carnegie performance on Friday the 26, where he’ll be performing Gabriel Faure’s Requiem on pipe organ. Cao accredits The Bower School of Music for continuously inspiring him. Although the school is new — this year marks it’s tenth anniversary — according to Cao, it’s still a significant, impactful institution in the world of post-secondary music education. For Cao in particular, Dr. Michael Baron, the Myra and Van Williams Distinguished Professor of Music and head of keyboard studies, has been his mentor in and out of the classroom. “I came to FGCU because of Dr. Baron,” Cao said. “A Steinway Artist who performs more than
40 concerts a year, he brings students to FGCU from all over the world to Bower. The piano studio has students from the U.S., Peru, South Korea, China, El Salvador and, next year, a girl from Poland. We are all inspired by Dr. Baron and wish to learn much more from him.” As far as Cao’s future goes, he hopes to be called Dr. Cao in the not too distant future, by getting his Doctorate of Musical Arts and becoming a conductor who travels the world leading orchestras. “Music has taught me more than what regular classrooms can. Through playing and practicing, I’ve learned self-discipline, languages, history, time management, responsibility, leadership, cooperation and patience,” Cao said. “Playing music isn’t just about getting the right notes and rhythms, but it is how can you tie the music with your own life and life around you.”
19th annual art exhibit on display FGCU students showcase their work at latest art exhibit
Photos by Kim Smith The art exhibit opened on Thursday, March 23 with an opening reception that went on from 5 to 7 p.m. Students were able to speak about their showcased work, discussing the medium used, inspiration behind the piece and many other details.
By Julia Browning E&L Editor @juliabrowningxo The Arts Complex opened its latest exhibit on Thursday, March 23 on the Annual Juried Art Exhibit, which showcases art from FGCU students.
The gallery, which is located in the Arts Complex on FGCU Campus in the Main Gallery, will remain on display until Thursday, April 6, with viewing hours Monday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. The gallery holds over 70 pieces, featuring
a variety of art forms including ink, acrylic, oil on board, dry point, bronze, linocut, digital photography, fired ceramics, pen and ink, colored pencil, stoneware, wood, digital typography and more. When walking through the gallery, the art works
Zevia is a healthy alternative to traditional soda By Jesse Martin E&L Assistant Editor @JesseMartin247 Health fanatics typically turn soda down due to the perceived nutritional consequences for drinking the notorious carbonated sugar water. However, perhaps this trope is no more. Naturally flavored soda may be on the rise in America. Zero calorie, naturally flavored sodas like the Los-Angeles based Zevia taste just like regular sodas without all the extreme health detriments. The everyday 12 ounce Coca-Cola soda can contain 140 calories and
have 39 grams of sugar and the same amount of carbohydrates. Zevia has zero calories and none of the sugar. Where the difference lies between Zevia and the everyday diet soda is that Zevia is naturally sweetened. Almost all diet sodas at the store are sweetened artificially with sucralose, also commonly known as Splenda. Sucralose is a controversial topic in nutrition, with some medical authorities saying it’s totally harmless, and other tests showing that there are side effects like elevated blood sugar levels. Naturally flavored soda
is usually flavored with Stevia leaf extract. Stevia is a naturally occurring substance that comes from a plant. Studies have shown that Stevia may even be able to lower blood pressure. A six-pack of Zevia typically costs $4.99. That may not be as attractive as you can get a 12-pack of Coca Cola for just 50 cents more. Somehow, these naturally flavored sodas have found a way not to sacrifice taste. These sodas taste exactly like the sugar rich name brands. The flavors even vary from Cola, Root Beer and Ginger Ale just to name a few.
change from one technique to another with no theme connecting them other than the mastery of that form. Pieces are often creative and shocking, using multiple art forms to create unique mixtures on the canvas. There were some
pieces that were traditional drawings, and then some that were more unique, like an art piece that was a series of pieces of burnt fabric. Sizes of artworks vary as well, with some pottery that would fit in the palm of your hand, as well as a
piece that covered most of the wall, made up of black blocks of wood. Overall the gallery is an interesting and visually pleasing display of work done by FGCU students.
Prank responsibly, kids By Deanna Simmons Staff Writer @WonderCatDee April Fool’s Day is known for good-spirited jokes and pranks between friends, family members and even colleagues. However, sometimes goodspirited can turn into coldhearted, and a prank’s friendly nature can easily backfire. So here are some harmless April Fool’s Day pranks that won’t break the bank or leave you without friends. The “Dripping Cup” prank should be familiar to seasoned pranksters, but there are some who may not know about its simplistic
brilliance. Take a pin and poke a few holes in a plastic cup. The victim of the prank will have a hard time figuring out why the drink is dribbling all over them. Some pranks are better fit for a college setting. One example would be setting your roommate’s alarm for the middle of the night and hiding somewhere they won’t think to look. If your roommate won’t retaliate — and has a good sense of humor — go the extra mile and unscrew the light bulb in their lamp so they have to find the alarm clock in the dark. Another prank you can pull is for one of your professors, and it’s pretty
harmless. You can carve out the core of an apple and stuff it full of gummy worms and then give the apple to your professor. It’ll be a real surprise when your teacher gets gummy worms in their apple. If you really want to go the extra mile, you can wrap your roommate’s things in wrapping paper or tin foil. Just don’t go as far as wrapping their bathroom. You won’t have a very nice roommate, especially if they’re late. If you’re giving the person something that’s safe, you should have an OK April Fool’s Day, and hopefully, you won’t be on the receiving end next year.
SPORTS
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Softball goes 2-1 in series against Jacksonville
EN Photo / Brad Young
Racquel Fournet went two-for-three with four RBIs on two home runs to lead the Eagles in a 6-2 victory over Jacksonville Saturday, March 25.
By Emily Kois Assistant Sports Editor @emilykois After splitting the first two games on day one, the FGCU softball team came out strong on day two with a 4-2 victory over Jacksonville. With those wins, the Eagles went 2-1 over the Dolphins in the three-game series, making their overall record 20-14.
To start the first game, the Dolphins scored on a two-out RBI single in the third, but the Eagles responded immediately in the bottom half of the third. A home run over the wall from Racquel Fournet put the Eagles up 3-1. However, the Dolphins responded in the fifth, scoring on a two-out double before Riley Randolph ended the inning. Fournet hit her second
home run of the day to make the game 4-2 in favor of the Eagles. Then, a pinchhit double gave FGCU a 6-2 advantage, ultimately ending the game. Randolph ended the game with seven strikeouts and three walks, allowing two runs on six hits. Fournet went two-forthree with four RBIs on two home runs to lead FGCU. In the second game, the Eagles started off trailing
1-0, but were saved in the fourth after Brittany McGuire stepped up to the plate, sending the ball over the wall to put FGCU in front 2-1. However, the Dolphins scored twice on four hits in the fifth to bring them in the lead 3-2, ultimately taking the second game from the Eagles. On day two, the Eagles stepped up and claimed a 4-2 win over Jacksonville.
After a two-out triple from Kelsey Huff followed by an infield single from Natalie Lopez, the Eagles went up 4-1 midway through the match. That would be it for scoring for FGCU, letting the defense take control for the rest of the game. JU threatened the Eagles in the seventh, scoring on a single to bring home the potential go-ahead run to the plate,
but Randolph secured the series win with a ground out to end the game. Huff and Lopez led the team going for a combined four-for-six while Bri Innamorato assisted with two more hits. Randolph allowed no earned runs on five hits while striking out eight. Next, FGCU will face UNF in a three-game series beginning Saturday, April 1 doubleheader at 1 p.m.
Baseball sweeps Jackson State for third series sweep of the season
Left hander, Josh Dye, threw a career-high seven innings and allowed only one run on five hits with four strikeouts and no walks in the 5-1 Eagle victory over Jackson State Sunday, March 26.
By Matt Rothman Staff Writer @MattRothman3 Coming off a midweek victory against USF, the No. 12 FGCU baseball team picked up its third series sweep of the season, beating Jackson State 7-4, 6-4 and 5-1 respectively over the weekend. “Anytime you can sweep, it’s awesome,” head coach Dave Tollett said. “Jackson State came here at 18-6 and we didn’t really have a lot on them, but we played well enough to sweep, and to be
22-3, I’ll take that any day of the week.” Following their sweep of Jackson State on Sunday, March 26, the Eagles broke into the top-10 national rankings, earning the No. 9 rank by Collegiate Baseball Newspaper. The No. 9 national ranking is a program best and is the highest ranking ever achieved by an FGCU athletics program. Garrett Anderson kicked off the series on Friday, March 25 and, in a game where he lasted only four innings, the FGCU
bullpen gave up just one run in the five innings to get the win. Among the relievers out of the bullpen was Sterling Koerner, who picked up his program-best 15th career save in the win. Eight of those saves have come in 2017 as the right-hander is pitching to a 1.42 ERA on the season. Two bases-loaded walks in the eighth inning by Julio Gonzalez and Nick Rivera were the difference in the Eagles 7-4 win Friday night. On Saturday, it was an emotional afternoon for the
Eagles as prior to the game, they honored former FGCU shortstop Alex Diaz who was killed in a car crash late last year. Diaz’s parents as well as friends and former teammates were on hand to honor him. Despite a slow start for the home team, the Eagles were able to get a win behind Peyton Gray and Kutter Crawford out of the bullpen. Crawford was making his second appearance out of the bullpen this season and did not pitch last week verse Rutgers.
Crawford gave up two runs (one earned) in his three innings to register his first save of the season. Tollett hoped to ease him back into form coming back from an injury before he gets ready to start ASUN play on Friday, March 31 vs Jacksonville. Eli Lovell drove in two of the Eagles’ six runs to propel the Eagles to a 6-4 victory. In the Eagles’ series-clinching win, Lovell knocked in his 16th and 17th RBI of the season. In the finale of the weekend series, Josh
EN Photo / Brad Young
Dye led the Eagles with a career-high seven innings, notching his fifth win of the season. Richie Garcia also went deep for his second home run of the season and first since Feb. 18 vserse Sacred Heart to cap off the Eagles 5-1 victory. Up next, UM comes to Swanson Stadium as the Eagles will put their eightgame winning streak on the line when Mario Leon makes the start for FGCU on Wednesday, March 29 at 6:30 p.m.
EDITOR: MIGUEL RODRIGUEZ SPORTS@EAGLENEWS.ORG
B6 SPORTS EAGLE NEWS WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29
This week in athletics Baseball vs. Miami
By Emily Kois Assistant Sports Editor @emilykois The FGCU baseball team will host the University of Miami Wednesday, March 29 at 6:30 p.m. at Swanson Stadium. The Hurricanes come into this match up with an overall record of 11-24, with recent loses against UNC. The Eagles and the
then-ranked Hurricanes met twice last season with Miami taking both games. One game the Hurricanes were ranked No. 5 and the Eagles lost 2-5, and when Miami was No. 2 FGCU suffered a 0-4 loss at home. Next, the Eagles will host a three-game series against Jacksonville that will begin Friday, March 31 at 6:30 p.m. at Swanson Stadium.
Beach volleyball at North Florida
By Emily Kois Assistant Sports Editor @emilykois The FGCU beach volleyball team will travel to Jacksonville to take on UNF Friday, March 31 at 12 p.m. After two games against Jacksonville Friday and Saturday, the Eagles will wrap up play in Jacksonville with a second game against UNF Saturday, April 1 at 2 p.m. These two teams met
three times last season, with the Ospreys taking all games. The last game was during the final round of the ASUN Beach Volleyball Championship, with UNF taking it 0-5. The Ospreys come into this match up with an overall record of 5-7. The Eagles will then face Jacksonville Friday, March 31 at 2 p.m.
Women’s tennis at NJIT
By Emily Kois Assistant Sports Editor @emilykois The FGCU women’s tennis team will finish up its away play in New Jersey with a match against NJIT Saturday, April 1 at 10 a.m. This game will be immediately followed by the FGCU men’s tennis team at 2 p.m. The Highlanders come into this match with an overall record of 5-7, but is successful in conference play with a 2-0 record with
wins over Lipscomb and Kennesaw State. These two teams met last season at the FGCU Tennis Complex where the Eagles swept the Highlanders 7-0. Next, the Eagles will travel back home to host Kennesaw State Thursday, April 6 at 6 p.m.
Women’s tennis at USC Upstate
ByEmily Kois Assistant Sports Editor @emilykois The FGCU women’s tennis team will continue its three-game away play with a match against USC Upstate Wednesday March 29 at 2 p.m. in South Carolina. This match will then be immediately followed by the men’s tennis team. The Eagles started
off conference play with a strong 6-1 win over Stetson last week. The Spartans come into this match with an overall record of 2-15 and 0-2 in-conference play. The Eagles and Spartans met last season at FGCU where the Eagles swept the Spartans 7-0. Next, FGCU will travel to New Jersey to take on NJIT Saturday, April 1 at 10 a.m.
Beach volleyball at Jacksonville
By Emily Kois Assistant Sports Editor @emilykois The FGCU beach volleyball team will face Jacksonville Friday, March 31 at 2 p.m., immediately following the 12 p.m. game against UNF. The Eagles will then play the Dolphins again Saturday, April 1 at 10 a.m. Jacksonville and FGCU met twice last season where the Eagles
and Dolphins split the matches. Jacksonville took the first match 2-3, then the Eagles took the second 4-1. Jacksonville comes into this match with an overall record of 6-8 and 0-1 in conference play. Next, the Eagles will head to Deland to compete in a Coastal Carolina and Mercer series beginning Friday, April 7 at 12 p.m. against Coastal Carolina.
Softball at UNF series
By Emily Kois Assistant Sports Editor @emilykois The FGCU softball team will compete in a threegame series against UNF beginning Saturday, April 1 at 1 p.m. in Jacksonville. The second game will follow immediately after the first game on Saturday at 3 p.m. then play will wrap up on Sunday, April 2 at 1 p.m. The Ospreys come into this series with an overall
record of 19-13. The last time these two conference teams met was last season with the Eagles hosting the threegame series at the FGCU Softball Complex. FGCU took all three games against the Ospreys, 6-0, 5-4 and 3-2. Next, the Eagles will host USC Upstate in a three-game series starting Saturday, April 8 at 4 p.m. at the FGCU Softball Complex.
Men’s tennis at USC Upstate
By Saul Garcia Staff Writer @saul_434 The FGCU men’s tennis team will take on USC Upstate Wednesday, March 29 in Spartanburg, South Carolina, at 6 p.m. This will be the third conference-play game and fifteenth competitive match for the team. The Eagles looked strong in its first conference game
with a 5-2 victory over Stetson. The last matchup between the Eagles and the Spartans was last season when the Eagles took home a 6-1 at the FGCU Tennis Complex. Looking forward to the next match, the Eagles will continue to be on-road, facing NJIT Saturday, April 1 at 2 p.m. in New Jersey.
Baseball vs. Jacksonville series
By Emily Kois Assistant Sports Editor @emilykois FGCU baseball will host Jacksonville in a threegame series beginning Friday, March 31 at 6:30 p.m. at Swanson Stadium. Play will conclude Sunday, April 2 at 1 p.m. The No. 12 Eagles are currently on a seven-game win streak, coming into this game with an overall record of 21-3.
Jacksonville comes into this series with an overall record of 12-14, with an away record of 3-6. These two conference teams played a three-game series in Jacksonville last season with the Dolphins taking all three games, 3-4, 3-6, and 0-5. Next, the Eagles stay on the road traveling to Tallahassee to take on No. 13 FSU in a two-game series beginning Tuesday, April 4 at 6 p.m.
Men’s golf at East Carolina Invitational
By Emily Kois Assistant Sports Editor @emilykois The FGCU men’s golf team will travel to Greenville, North Carolina to take part in the East Carolina Invitational hosted by ECU. Play will begin Monday, April 3 with 36 holes at the Brook Valley Country Club and will conclude Tuesday, April 4 with the final round. Last season, the Eagles took part in this two-day
event and tied for second with Campbell University with an overall score of 903. Out of the thirteen teams who competed, East Carolina took first with an overall score of 880. This will be the last tournament before heading into the ASUN men’s golf championship which will begin Sunday, April 16 at the Legends at Chateau Elan in Braselton, Georgia. Play for this will conclude Tuesday, April 18.
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Bruno Halpern opinion@eaglenews.org Opinion Editor
We should not accept terror in big cities By Andrew Hsiao Staff Writer @fgcueaglenews A deadly terrorist attack has struck London. On March 22, 52-yearold Khalid Masood drove a rented SUV across Westminster Bridge into pedestrians along the south side of the bridge. He later exited the vehicle and stabbed multiple victims in Parliament Square and the grounds of the Palace of Westminster before being shot dead by a close protection police officer. Five, including the attacker, were killed, and 50 others were injured. Three of the victims were British nationals including an unarmed police officer, PC Keith Palmer, and one American tourist, Kurt Cochran. Of the injured, four are in critical condition, and two others are in life-threatening condition.
The remaining are expected to survive with relatively minor injuries. The attack lasted for less than two minutes. In the aftermath, London law enforcement has arrested at least 11 individuals and raided multiple locations in London, Brighton and Carmarthenshire, Wales on suspicion. ISIS has claimed responsibility for the attack, but their involvement is still being determined by English authorities. However, Khalid Masood had been motivated by radical Islam. He was born Adrian Russel Elms but changed his name to Khalid Masood while in prison. The tactic of converting prisoners to Islam has been a tool for many Islamic extremists. The idea is that the prisoners are more vulnerable to being ideologically persuaded. The attack shows how vulnerable people are to terrorists. They exploit the
Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Khalid Masood stabbed multiple victims in Paliament Square of the Palace of Westminster before being shot dead by a close protection police officer.
moments in daily life where we believe we are safe, like simply traveling along a bridge. We believe that we are safe from most danger. However, terrorists use that false sense of security to target people. In their mindset, by showing how easy it is to kill multiple individuals in a normally safe setting,
they are attempting to strike fear and panic as we proceed to live our everyday lives. We can not allow terrorists to succeed. Their goal is to destroy the confidence that the public has in the government’s ability to provide safety. The reality is that we will never be completely secure from the dangers of
terrorists. We simply can not allow them to change our mentality. Additionally, the British government needs to continue their fight against radical Islamic terror. Within the past decade, many politicians and activists has come into power due to the growth of Muslim communities. It is absolutely horrendous for society to unfairly target a minority such as the Muslim community. However, the success of Brexit last year and the Conservative party in recent elections show that voters are upset that a segment of that particular community has become dangerous to society and has abused the kindness that is extended for the sake of inclusivity. While Khalid Masood was not part of any active investigations during the time of the attack, he had previously been investigated by MI5.
Although this attack is the largest since the 2005 London train bombings, the city has had trouble with radical Islam within the past five years. Many clerics recruit from Muslim communities in the city, and several prominent members have been arrested in the past two years. London mayor, Sadiq Khan, said that terror attacks are “part and parcel of living in the big city.” Many large cities in Europe, North America and Asia have not experienced terror attacks similar to those in London and other cities last year. We should not accept that terror is part of living in the big city. It shows incompetence among public servants to protect their constituents. We must weed out the radicals that are bent on the destruction of our society and give them no community where they can find shelter.
A standard education creates standard people By Clarisse Halpern Contributing Writer @fgcueaglenews Standardized tests have been a part of the American educational system since the first decades of the 20th century when the SAT and the GRE started being set as an admissions requirements to colleges and universities throughout the country. As far as I can see, such tests are the tip of the iceberg of a measurement culture which values numbers as indicators of students’ achievements. One of the main problems is that they rank students’ performances as if they were more important than their knowledge, history and abilities. In a standards and accountability era, educators are increasingly compelled to “teach to
the test,” limiting their students possibilities to expand knowledge beyond what is expected from them on a test. Although most educators comply with this system, it does not mean that they want to limit their students’ learning; on the contrary, they feel pressured for being held accountable for their students’ and the school’s outcomes. They have no choice, but to conform. Consequently, education becomes a means to an end. In this opportunity, I would like to raise awareness on how the overemphasis on measurements and outcomes takes the focus off the purpose of education, mainly, the purpose of education in the 21st century. The fact of the matter is that standardized tests
do not prepare students for the challenges of the globalized economy nor do they prepare them to face real-world experiences. Some authors maintain such tests function as a countermovement to what is expected to be developed as a 21st-century education because they standardize curriculum and knowledge (and people). Education becomes compartmentalized and fragmented as demanded by the tests’ format, resulting in a combination of disconnected facts that need to be memorized. So, what to expect from an educational system based on models developed in the 19th century? If the world is always changing, so should education and curricula in schools. Mastering content, like math formulas, grammar
structures and the periodic table of elements are not enough to educate students in the 21st century. Conversely, they need to learn things that will help them develop career and life skills, like critical thinking, problem-solving, creativity, innovation, information and communication technology literacy, adaptability, flexibility, leadership and cross-cultural skills. Other scholars suggest that interdisciplinary themes should be integrated, such as global awareness and environmental literacy. Moreover, if one of the education’s aim is to prepare students for their careers, the challenge relies on preparing them with skills that could be applied to jobs that do not exist yet. I believe that one of the crucial steps to change this scenario is to be mindful
Photo courtesy of Official U.S. Navy Page
Even in the Navy, students have to take standardized exams.
of what is going on. Thus, it is not possible to reject standardized tests if you do not envision how they limit education, educators and students. The educational system is not the only arena that is affected by this limited way of learning. There are several
deleterious effects on the whole society, since people are being put aside, and quantitative results stand as the ultimate goal. As a result, depression, oppression, exclusion and individualism often prevail. Let’s favor creativity, selfexpression and wholeness instead.
Sears facing a grim-looking future By Andrew Hsiao Staff Writer @fgcueaglenews Sears and Kmart may soon be a thing of the past. Their parent company, Sears Holdings, announced to their investors last week that the company had serious concerns about its ability to continue operating. Since 2006, Sears has closed all of their stores in Canada and only 1,400 of around 3,400 stores that were operating in the United States at that time are still open. The company has not had an annual profit since 2010 and had a net income of negative $2 billion in
2016. Total equity of Sears Holdings is valued at only $9.36 billion. Sears merged with Kmart in 2005 after the latter declared bankruptcy in 2002. Both companies had large-scale success during the 19th and 20th centuries. Sears became an American icon for providing a wide array of goods to consumers through their Sears, Robuck & Co. catalog. The company eventually transitioned into retail stores. Likewise, Kmart provided their consumers with cheap prices and flash sales during their “Blue Light Specials.” However, both companies have faced
stiff competition since the 1990s due to the rise of first Walmart and Home Depot and then later e-commerce platforms like eBay and Amazon. Walmart and Home Depot provided cheaper options and increased choices for consumers. Online retailers have fewer operating costs, which allow them to outcompete Sears and other retailers of such nature. Chief Financial Officer Jason Hollar still expressed optimism for growth. Despite plans to close over 150 stores this year, Sears Holdings is currently undergoing a restructuring plan focused on downsizing. They plan on closing
stores and reducing jobs in an effort to return to profitability. However, in recent years, the company has lacked investing in the brands of both Sears and Kmart. Both stores do not differentiate greatly from some of their competitors. In reality, the statement by the company does not completely spell the end of the company, but it certainly does not provide confidence among the company’s investors. Sears has a chance to return to a point where they can be profitable. However, the company will never be such an icon of America’s consumer culture.
The company has failed to compete against their competitors since the 1990s, and they are in absolutely no position to rebound back as a retail giant. If Sears succeeds in returning its net income back to the positive, the company has a better chance at attracting more investors. However, any bounce back for the Sears will most likely not happen for years. At the current rate, the company is on a trajectory to fold within a short period of time. The company has been known to be in financial trouble for years, and many expected the company to close years ago.
Many companies that had operated thousands of locations across the countries have closed in the past two decades. Others are struggling to continue along. If Sears folds, it is simply a fact of business. Companies that struggle will either close or be bought out by a more stable company. It is definitely not sad that the company may close. The company failed to differentiate itself from its competitors. Sears will serve as a lesson to other companies. You can grow to become a business giant, but your company can always come crashing down, if you fail to out compete others.
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Celebrate Your Body Week Missy Salomon teams up with the Office of Prevention and Wellness
By Mindy Paniagua Staff Writer @MindyPaniagua After battling with her weight and self-image since childhood, Peers Care member Missy Salomon, will team up with the Office of Prevention and Wellness to host the annual “Celebrate Your Body” week from March 27 to 31. To Salomon the event is about informing and letting students on campus know
their bodies should be appreciated. “As long as you’re doing what you need to do to be healthy, then you’re fine,” Salomon said. Salomon said her selfimage was always a hard topic to discuss because of her cultural heritage. “I am Haitian. A lot of minority cultures, especially the caribbean cultures, put a lot of emphasis on the body. They can be very harsh. They are
Photo Courtsy of Missy Salomon Missy Salomon (far left) poses for a picture with fellow employees at a Prevention and Wellness event.
not trying to condemn you, they’re not trying to be evil, that’s just their nature,” Salomon said. Salomon was determined to make a change in her lifestyle after seeing a picture of herself at a music concert in high school. After being invited as a guest to a gym, Salomon started to take consideration of what she ate and began exercising frequently. In May of 2013, Salomon’s weight was 175 pounds. By April of 2014, her weight had dropped to 138 pounds, just 3 pounds above her ideal weight of 135 pounds. Yet, Salomon noticed she was missing out on activities because she became focused on reaching a number. She would deny going out with friends because she had to go to the gym. Salomon said if she would have known about the “Celebrate Your Body” week at FGCU earlier in her life, her thought process might have changed and perhaps she would have enjoyed herself more. Though Salomon never reached her ideal weight,
she has since gained the confidence to accept her body. “You don’t have to reach this ideal goal. You don’t have to let the idea of having the perfect body consume you,” Salomon said. The purpose of this week-long celebration is to promote a “positive body image and provide outreach,” said FGCU’s Prevention and Wellness Director Priya Thomas. “Few bodies are perfect, but the relationship with your body lasts a lifetime,” Thomas said. “It can be an art to learn how to appreciate and love your body for all it does for you each day and what it allows you to be capable of for your future. Take good care of it for the future, and appreciate it as it is now because it’s gotten you this far.” This week-long celebration event will include activities to bring body appreciation such as blind-folded yoga and more. For more information, visit http://www.fgcu. e d u / We l l n e s s / F i l e s / March_2016_(Body_ Image).pdf
ZTA Alico Family Golf Night Proceeds to be donated to breast cancer awareness By Zack Rothman Outreach Editor @Zack_Rothman Zeta Tau Alpha will host their Alico Family Golf Night on Thursday, March 30, at Alico Family Golf. Twenty-Five percent of the proceeds from mini golf as well as the driving range will be donated to breast cancer education and awareness. Nationally, ZTA is partnered with multiple
Think Pink programs, such as The American Cancer Society, National Football League and Bright Pink. Though food and drinks will be available for purchase, they will not be included in the proceeds for the philanthropy. Golf clubs will be provided by the facility for those who do not have their own. No skill level of any sort is required.
EN Illustration / Audrey Mobely
Agency of the Week If you want on-campus service opportunities, check out the many events coming in April: There is the second Annual FGCU Water Games on March 31 and April 3. High school students will be coming to FGCU for a fun-filled day on the waterfront. Contact Lindsey Morimanno at 239-6827764 or Jordan Santee at 610-360-0489. You can also help with the Solar Go-Kart Races on April 1. Help in a variety of ways, such as being a traffic director, teams assistant and/or prep assistant. For specifics check out the FGCU ServiceLearning Facebook advertisement. In celebration of Earth Day, you can plant trees, clear trails, help in many other ways in events on April 9 through 12. To sign up, go to tinyurl.com/j3awxbs.