11 minute read
Sister Kathleen Osbelt
We get so much more back than we give
Sometimes surprises come in life when we least expect them. I was labeled a “surprise” in my family, being born nine years after the last of three sisters. Until I was 10, my family lived in a cold-water flat on Highland Street surrounded by other families who struggled to keep things afloat. Many of the neighborhood kids, and my three sisters, went to the same kindergarten, Garfield School, which is now an apartment building on Butternut Street and the elementary parochial school, Holy Trinity.
What I remember most of those days is going into the cellar to fill the coal furnace with my dad, church on novena nights with mom, playing outside with the gang ‘til supper, and long forays in Schiller Park no matter what the weather.
Moving to Lyncourt when I was 10 meant that maybe I could have a dog, never mind that we were moving into a cute little Cape Cod home with hot water, a nice yard, and a driveway. But yes, I could now claim the puppy, Snooky, I had been visiting for weeks in my old neighborhood. Our family continued to attend Holy Trinity Church (now a beautiful mosque) and I was driven to Holy Trinity School by our neighbor.
From there I attended Assumption High School and started using the city bus for transportation. Those were the good old days of the parochial league, holding hands with your boyfriend as you walked into Tino’s for pizza, talking to friends on the party line, and trying to keep up with school work, clubs, and work at Dey Brothers.
Entering sisterhood
Toward the end of sophomore year I read a book about the life of St. Francis, and decided I wanted to live just like him and his followers. At this point, I had been taught for 10 years by the Sisters of St. Francis and heard the stories of St. Francis and St. Marianne Cope, one of the early sisters of our order who served the leprous people in Hawaii. These two influences channeled by the grace of God, moved me to join the Third Order Secular of St. Francis, an opportunity for lay people to follow the values of St. Francis. My ministry as a Third Order Member was expressed on Saturdays when I tutored children at the House of Providence. For the rest of my high school years I struggled with the idea of becoming a sister but never shared that with anyone. My days were filled with study, work, and being with friends who never would have guessed where I’d end up.
I was all set to attend Oswego State when I made my final decision to become a religious sister. I cancelled my registration and room reservation then broke the news to my parents that I was entering the Sisters of St. Francis’ convent on Court Street. Initially in my formation, I was assigned the care of our elderly and sick sisters. When asked if I would like to go on in nursing, I said no because I could not endure being with dying people, since there was no way to help them.
From that point my education was geared toward teaching. I attended Maria Regina College, then was sent out on mission, teaching elementary school. I taught in Vestal, NY, then Fayetteville, then two schools in New Jersey. While I was teaching in New Jersey, I changed my name from Sister Ann Matthew back to my baptismal name Kathleen. During the summers I finished my first degree at Marywood College then a masters in pastoral counseling from Boston College. Subsequent education through the years has been in studying Franciscan Theology and completing certificates in chaplaincy and spiritual direction. In 1984 I was assigned as a chaplain at St Joseph’s Hospital. Three years later I was asked to take an office position for the Sisters.
Missing my hospital work with those who were sick, I volunteered to work as a Buddy for those who were diagnosed with HIV and AIDS. In those early days HIV/AIDS was a terminal illness. Because there was no place for people with HIV/AIDS to spend their last days, those relationships led me to work for opening a home for people who were terminally ill regardless of the diagnosis.
Project Home begins
The General Minister of our Order gave a green light to “Project Home” as we called it. Msgr. Robert Yeazel and Robert Pietrafesa were instrumental in introducing the idea to the community and raising money for such a home. Msgr. Yeazel has been for the past 30 years instrumental in the continuance of this ministry. He has served as an advisor, donor, board member, chaplain to the residents of Francis House and friend.
In the first years of Francis House I spoke at as many local churches as possible to invite people to volunteer, to donate goods, services and money, and to most especially pray for this much needed ministry. In those first years of Francis House, I not only did outreach but oversaw the operations within the house.
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With the mission to “provide a home and extended family for persons with terminal illnesses, where they can die with dignity and experience the unconditional love of God,” we started in a two-family house at 108 Michaels Ave., at first inviting two residents, then we increased to four, then six residents. In 1998, Francis House was officially incorporated and expanded. A new home for residents was built, attached to the original home, doubling Francis House’s resident capacity. We renovated the original home for offices.
In 2006, Nancy Light became the first executive director of Francis House so I could take my leave to co-create a new corporation, Partners in Franciscan Ministries (PFM). PFM became the parent company over all of the sponsored ministries of the Sisters of St. Francis of the Neumann Communities. After four years of developing that corporation and ensuring a future for our ministries through oversight, repositioning and securing our Franciscan values, I was asked to coordinate the building of the Sisters’ new home, now called the Franciscan Villa on Buckley Road. In 2014 I returned to Francis House and took on the role of Mission Outreach. That role was created to carryout our expanded mission “to use our lived experience as a resource for others.”
Compassionate end of life care
The core mission of Francis House is to provide a home and extended family for people with terminal illnesses. Each staff member and volunteer is committed to providing a compassionate environment of safety and love for each resident; caring with dignity and accepting unconditionally. Francis House serves all members of the community regardless of their faith, race, color, sexual orientation, or personality, or ability to pay. Francis House has served more than 3,400 residents throughout its 30-year history.
The house is staffed with 50 employees and is supported by the time and talents of more than 200 volunteers, many of whom attest that time spent volunteering is repaid exponentially by what is received in return – the blessing of human connection during a precious and sacred time. When we see three generations around a bedside witnessing a peaceful death, when there is reconciliation in a family that has been divided, when an anxious resident finally obtains peace of heart… then I know all the effort has been worthwhile. During this time of COVID, Francis House has faced new and unique challenges. With safety measures solidly in place, Francis House continues to recruit new volunteers for non-patientcare roles. While sustaining an active roster of trained volunteers can be a challenge at times – especially during the winter months – Francis House attracts interest from the outreach and impact of its two auxiliaries and from the lasting impressing it makes on the families and friends of residents. We are blessed with talented volunteers, an active Auxiliary, and a Youth Auxiliary.
Along with Father Joseph Champlin and Rev. John Schopfer, Sister Kathleen Osbelt was the grand marshal of Syracuse’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade in 2008.
Just recently, I was telling an Auxiliary member that the members of our Francis House Auxiliary, adult and youth, are ambassadors for Francis House. She responded, “Yes, Sister, and the family members of those who have died at Francis House are also Ambassadors.” She went on to say, “Two people came to our table during Holiday Shoppes and went on and on about the wonderful care their loved one received.” This has been the case for 30 years.
An important component of the Francis House mission is education. Experience gained in 30 years of operation is at the core of numerous community presentations on topics such as end-oflife preparation, grief, the spiritual, physical and emotional needs of those who are dying, compassion fatigue, care for the caregiver, and effective communication. These important topics have been presented to church congregations, book clubs, nursing and medical students, healthcare workers, and of course to our corps of essential volunteers. Francis House staff also lead symposiums, retreats and days of recollection; all in an effort to improve end-oflife care wherever that care occurs.
I am very proud of the fact that Francis House is a founding member of the Omega Home Network (OHN), a national network of homes for persons who are terminally ill. The OHN provides guiding principles and criteria for members and features essential resources, such as its new ‘how-to’ manual for establishing a home like Francis House. Resources also include an online forum for the purpose of connection, peer support and education for those in this work.
There are presently 42 homes across the US and 39 more in the process of being established. In New York State alone there are 31 comfort care homes (2 beds). While not all of these homes are OHN members, they have been providing end of life care in a home setting for more than 30 years. While no one home can take care of the needs of all those who are dying, we hope to influence the way people see and respond to something we will all experience.
A season to celebrate love
Christmas can be a very difficult time for people who are about to see a loved one die. But to know that his/her last days were ones of loving compassion, comfort and peace is to give that same experience to the family. Then there is that “peace that passes all understanding.” (Phil 4:7) Jesus came among us to show us the way to peace…love was always the way. At Christmas, we celebrate the love which has been a part of our ministry and the memory of love given us by our friends and family members who have died.
Francis House has memory lights around our gazebo and house to celebrate that love. Our great rooms are warmed and brightened by the light of our Christmas trees. Our manger scenes are the reminder of who came among us and whose love continues to be at Francis House. It has happened a few times that residents so wanted to express appreciation for the care they received that they left presents for each person on staff. One resident, Earl, said, “I’ll be home for Christmas” meaning with Jesus. His gift was a little clown holding a banner with that phrase.
Personally, I love Christmas, the entire season. This year I started playing Christmas songs on the car radio the second week of November. I love the fact that all around us are reminders of how much God loves us…so much that Jesus came to make that very clear. The message was not for one time but is given again and again. So many parents tell their children over and over again that they love them. Friends and family say “I love you” before they end a call; many of us end our greeting card messages with these same words. How much more does God love each of us? I don’t want to miss any of it. Maybe my “seeing” has become more acute because I know I have a terminal illness. It’s a little like the young woman in the play, Our Town, who comes back for a day and realizes how painfully beautiful it all is.
As a Sister, my life has been full and blessed with so many people and creatures. We offer our lives as women dedicated to putting flesh on Jesus’ message of love, and as is often said of Francis House, we get so much more back than we give. SWM
Francis House provides a home and an extended family to persons with terminal illnesses so they can die with dignity surrounded by the unconditional love of God. The values of Francis House are to accept each resident unconditionally and ensure that they are treated with dignity, respect and compassion. Staff and volunteers function as an extended family offering physical, emotional and spiritual support.
Francis House founder Sister Kathleen Osbelt has authored a book entitled Glimpses of God In You And Me. It is available on Amazon for $15.
