EXECUTIVE AGENT MAGAZINE-DECEMBER 2019 CALIFORNIA

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EXECUTIVEAGENT MAGAZINE

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Crystal Unrue Executive Agent of the Month

Inside Features Theresa Hertzog “Sunny” Esther Valenzuela


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kinecta.org/construction-to-perm Membership requirements apply. NMLS (Nationwide Mortgage Lending Service) ID: 407870. Subject to credit and property approval. Rates, program terms, and conditions are subject to change without notice. Not all products are available in all states and for all loan amounts. Other restrictions and limitations may apply. The actual terms of the loan will depend upon the specific characteristics of the loan transaction, the applicant’s credit history, and other financial circumstances that may apply. 23761-07/19



EXECUTIVE AGENT OF THE MONTH

Crystal Unrue First Team Real Estate

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Inside Features

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Theresa Hertzog

“Sunny” Esther Valenzuela

Keller Williams Beach Cities

Nationwide Real Estate Executives ExecutiveAgent Magazine


CALIFORNIA - DECEMBER, 2019

Editorials

E XECUTIVE AGENT

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The Keys to Positive Change -Leslie L. Hamel

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Fred Arrias Executive Publisher PO Box 73384 San Clemente, CA 92673 Ph: (949) 297-8323 Fax: (949) 266-8757 Fred@ExecutiveAgentMagazine.com www.ExecutiveAgentMagazine.com

ADVERTISERS’ INDEX Putting Balance In Your Life -Peggy Morrow

City of Hope..........................................................34 Finance of America Mortgage.......................14 & 36

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iPhotography Studio...............................................23 Kinecta Federal Credit Union..................................2 loanDepot®...........................................................29

Powerful Presentations – Speaking For Success -Terri Murphy

NAHREP...........................................................................28

SRAR...........................................................................25

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The Termite Guy......................................................3 VAREP.....................................................................15

Change Begins With Choice -Jim Rohn

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Photography: iPhotography Studio, Michelle Fairless Photography, Rob Paino Graphic Designer: Garon T. Arrias Editorial Manager: Trudy Van Writers: Ben Angel, John Boe, Haley Freeman, Jim Rohn, Walter Sanford, Dirk Zeller, Zig Ziglar Craig Harrison, Simma Lieberman, Chris Widener © Copyright 2019 Executive Agent Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. Although every precaution is taken to ensure accuracy of published materials, Executive Agent Magazine cannot be held responsible for opinions expressed or facts supplied by its authors.

Problems vs. Opportunities -Zig Ziglar

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E XECUTIVE AGENT

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Written by H. K. Wilson

Theresa Hertzog

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heresa Hertzog, Realtor® at Keller Williams Beach Cities in El Segundo says, “I don’t just sell houses, I do business with all my heart.” Originally from the Philippines, Theresa earned her degree in computer science and went on to a career in the corporate sector. She simultaneously began investing in Philippine real

estate and, eventually, obtained her credentials as a real estate broker. When she immigrated to the United States, she decided to make real estate her full-time endeavor. For more than a decade, Theresa has been a positive, helpful partner to clients who are buying or selling a home in the South Bay.

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“Doing Business From the Heart” With her caring nature and finely honed market knowledge, Theresa expertly guides her clients through the close of escrow and beyond. She is a powerful negotiator who listens with compassion and strives to create favorable outcomes for buyers and sellers. She is known for putting her clients’ interests first, and she would rather cancel a transaction than put a family into the wrong home. “Sometimes, it takes time for someone to find a place they would call a home. Or a buyer doesn’t fully understand what they’re buying, and they need advice about factors that may not serve them well in the future. I’m patient with people and put my time and attention into them. When someone hires me, I give them 100 percent. My job is to find someone the right home or help them transition to their next one. I love real estate because I like working with people. I enjoy taking on challenges and finding a way to make things work.” Theresa cultivates lasting relationships with her clients, and her authentic investment in their longterm well-being inspires them to refer their friends and return to her whenever they are buying or selling a home of their own. Many have expressed their gratitude with five-star reviews on Zillow. One said: “We were so lucky to have Theresa as our agent! As first-time home-buyers, we were nervous and had a lot of basic questions. Theresa was so patient with us, explaining everything and guiding us every step of the way. When we did find our house, Theresa was a great negotiator and a great partner to have in our corner during the long escrow process. She always puts her clients’ interests above everything else. Thank you again for everything Theresa, couldn’t have done it without you!” Another reported: “Theresa gave me all the tools and knowledge I needed to narrow down the search to find the right property for me. She went out of her way to show me properties from Santa Barbara to San Diego, which further narrowed the gap between what I wanted and what was available. We finally found the perfect house that met all my needs, and she showed great execution (meticulous and professional) throughout the ever-complicated escrow process. She was a valuable asset to have on my side when making this all-important decision of buying a home.” Theresa continues to invest in Philippine real estate, and she often counsels clients who are looking for income properties in both U.S. and Philippine markets. Her firsthand understanding of the culture, property values and tax incentives in her home country provide clients with valuable advice that few competitors can match.

An ambitious entrepreneur with boundless energy and a zest for life, Theresa also owns a digital company called Lux Virtual Assistants that complements her real estate practice. Although she is busy running two businesses, Theresa says that every day is a party. She loves to travel, explore and spend time with her friends and family. She is all about creating close bonds with people in every aspect of her life. According to Theresa, her goal is to ensure that her clients receive professional, personalized service before, during and after the sale or purchase of a home. “I enjoy making people happy, making them smile after close of escrow. It gives me satisfaction when I see that my client is happy with their purchase. And on the seller side, happy when they have accepted the right buyer and are happy with the price and terms. The best thing for me is that I can sleep well knowing I did the best I could for my client.” Theresa Hertzog Keller Williams Beach Cities 830 S. Pacific Coast Highway #200 El Segundo, CA 90254 Tel: 310-308-1806 Email: Theresa@theresarealty.com Web: https://theresahertzog.kwrealty.com DRE #01839725

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Change Begins With Choice

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ny day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish; we can start a new activity. Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year. We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, “The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves.” We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.

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We cannot allow our errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead us down the wrong path. We must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how our life works out. And then we must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy into our daily lives. And if I may be so bold to offer my last piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in their life - If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life - and it all begins with your very own power of choice. Jim Rohn knows the secrets of success - in business and in life. He has devoted his life to a study of the fundamentals of human behavior and personal motivation that affect professional performance. He can awaken the unlimited power of achievement within you! Reproduced with permission from the Jim Rohn Weekly E-zine. © 2008 Jim Rohn International. All rights reserved. For information contact FrogPond at 800.704.FROG(3764) or email susie@FrogPond. com; http://www.FrogPond.com.

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E XECUTIVE AGENT

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Written by H. K. Wilson

It’s Always Sunny in OC

“Sunny” Esther Valenzuela

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t’s always sunny in Orange County, so it is fitting that Realtor® “Sunny” Esther Valenzuela introduces herself as - “Sunny, like the weather.” A Southern California native, Sunny loves matching people with the right homes and helping them experience the region’s incomparable, sun-drenched lifestyle. After a first career in marketing with for-profit colleges, Sunny met and mar-

ried her husband and real estate broker, Art Valenzuela. With her upbeat personality and love of people, she quickly realized that real estate was her ideal career. Today, Sunny is partner and sales manager of Nationwide Real Estate Executives in Irvine, where she continues to represent buyers and sellers under her signature brand, Sunshine Homes.

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Sunny says that she chose Nationwide Real Estate Executives because the business practices and values of the company are congruent with her own. “The philosophy of faith and family really speaks to me,” she says. “This is an environment of continuing improvement, where agents can prosper. As sales manager, I’m here to help agents with their business plans so they can grow and create sustainable businesses. I help them set up a plan and encourage them and keep them accountable. Each of our branches has a school, as well. A lot of companies don’t want to take on new licensees, but we do. We will even take on prelicensees. We get a pre-commitment from them and nurture them all the way through. We like the idea of training people to do business the right way, before they have learned any bad habits. Our vice president, Tarah Walker, and I excel at working one-on-one with people who want mentorship. It’s a joy to see the results when someone puts in the hard work.” If you ask Sunny’s clients what qualities make working with her so special, you’re likely to hear that it is her positive attitude, communication and professionalism. Sunny’s optimism helps her move mountains to help her clients achieve their goals. She believes there is always a solution to a problem, and she won’t stop until she finds it. “It drives me crazy when someone says, ‘I don’t know.’ I’m like a little bulldog, and my clients appreciate it that I go to bat for them.” By far, the majority of Sunny’s business comes from referrals and repeat clients. “It’s gratifying knowing someone else is pleased with what I did and trusts me enough to recommend me to their friends and family members.” A recent client described how Sunny helped her with the arduous task of relocating from Japan to Orange County: “She was so helpful and worked her schedule to video tour homes even with a crazy time change! We ran into a few hiccups during escrow, and Sunny was truly a great resource during a few uncertain weeks and helped see us through to closing. We’ve lived in our new home for over a month now, and we are so happy and pleased with both our house and neighborhood. We put a lot of trust in Sunny, and she did not let us down! Highly recommend to anyone looking to buy or rent!” When it comes to marketing homes for sale, Sunny’s representation is second to none. She has an eye for the elements that will make a home appeal to buyers, and she gives each seller a thorough staging consultation, complete

with her expert advice about what improvements will support the highest selling price. Sunny also commits sizable resources to marketing. “I do a lot of social media marketing, and I hire a professional photographer to make the home look its best.” Sunny’s sense of adventure has taken her to exotic destinations and inspired her to do everything from managing a funk band to jumping out of airplanes. Next on her list is a family trip to Ellis Island. “My parents are both immigrants and proud Americans now. My mom has been saying she would love to take her grandkids to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty and tell them stories about coming to the U.S. They’re from Indonesia, which is formerly the Dutch East Indies, with Dutch ancestry, and theirs are the last names included in the Ellis Island registry.” With her sunny disposition and love for the community she lives and works in, Sunny makes the real estate experience seamless and stress-free for her clients. “My goal is to help every client buy or sell a home for the price they want and in the time they need so they can get on with the next part of their journey. The most satisfying thing for me is helping people get to a place they want to be.” “Sunny” Esther Valenzuela SUNSHINE HOMES–Nationwide Real Estate Executives 9170 Irvine Center Dr., #200 Irvine, CA 92618 Tel: 949-637-8254 Email: Sunny@AlwaysSunnyinOC.com Web: www.AlwaysSunnyinOC.com DRE #01944825

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an you really “have it all?” Is it possible to have a full time job and children plus still have some fun and time to pursue your own interests? And I’m not just talking about women, either. Men have just as much problem trying to keep balance in their life. Unfortunately, you really can’t have it all. You must make some choices. But too many people are out of balance because they make all their choices in one or two areas. They put all most all of their emphasis on their families, or become workaholics because they are so dedicated to their job. Their life is out of balance.

One of the most important and under-girding elements of high-energy living seems to be balance. Learning to live in balance, allowing time for both work and a rewarding personal life will bring synergy, joy, enthusiasm and creativity to your life. How do you think you are doing? Take this quiz to find out. This is from a great book called Time Management for Unmanageable People by Ann McGee Cooper. It has lots of good ideas on managing time, plus putting balance in your life. 12

The following list of questions will help you asses the level of balance you have created in your life. If you can say “yes” to them, you are developing attitudes and habits that will create the balance you need in your life. Do I typically look forward to my day at work? Am I eager to get up and get in to the job, and do I feel fulfilled at the end of most workdays? Do I have an equal enthusiasm for days away from my job? Have I created an equally exciting and interesting life away from my job? Do I have an equal passion for a variety of interests other than work, such as golf, painting, backpacking or gardening? Do I have five or six close friends I spend time with at least six times a year who are not connected to my work? Do I put a priority on quality time with my spouse and children, planning shared activities that we can all enjoy anticipating, doing and then remembering?

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Am I good at creating several brief moments of fun throughout my day? Do I wear my professionalism lightly and encourage others to have fun along with me? So how did you score? Well, I don’t know about you, but I didn’t do so well. I proved that I needed much more balance in my life. One of the areas I needed to improve was the one where you should put more fun in your day. I’m often guilty of starting on a project and keeping at it until I am finished. No stopping or fun allowed. No matter how long it takes. There is a thing where you can be too disciplined, you know. I was guilty of that. Now I promise myself a “joy” break every hour. I decide how long it can be depending on how much work I have to do. It can be something as simple as getting a soft drink or a cup of coffee. Or it could be a twenty minute break to read a book or my favorite magazine. Or ten minutes to play on the Internet.

Think about things you could do to lift your spirits. Go on - it will put more balance in your life. Peggy Morrow, CSP, is President of Peggy Morrow & Associates, a full service speaking and training firm based in Houston, Texas. For over 18 years Peggy has moved her audiences to fun and action and receives over 75 percent of her business from referrals and repeat business. She is the author of “Customer Service: The Key To Your Competitive Edge” and “Celebrate Customer Service” as well as writing a weekly newspaper column. Copyright© 2000, Peggy Morrow. All rights reserved. For information about Peggy’s programs, please call the Frog Pond Group at 800-FROG(3764) or email susie@frogpondgroup. com; http://www.frogpondgroup.com.

Putting Balance In Your Life

Sometimes I take a long break and go somewhere like a museum or shopping for something frivolous. ExecutiveAgent Magazine

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Nomination Form Nominate a fellow REALTORÂŽ to be featured in one of our feature stories; on the cover as Executive Agent of the Month, or as a special feature story. All candidates must be nominated by a real estate professional. The selection process includes a questionnaire, personal interview, reference check and final approval by the Advisory Council. Candidates are evaluated based upon professionalism, length of service and uniqueness of story, as well as industry and community involvement.

I Nominate: Name_______________________________ Company___________________________ Address____________________________ _____________________________________ City, State, Zip_____________________ _____________________________________ Phone______________________________ Email_______________________________ Submitted By: Fax/Email nomination to: Executive Agent Magazine PO Box 73384 San Clemente, CA 92673 Fax: 949.266.8757 Email: Fred@ExecutiveAgentMagazine.com Tel: 949.297.8323

Name_______________________________ Company___________________________ Phone______________________________ Email_______________________________

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Cover Story

Crystal Unrue Executive Agent of the Month

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Crystal Unrue Creating Happy Results Written by H. K. Wilson - Ian Wiant Photographer

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ealtor® Crystal Unrue was inspired to begin a career in real estate after she was represented by a caring and highly skilled agent during the sale and purchase of her own homes. She says that her experience taught her how vital communication, patience and trust are to a successful real estate transaction. “I loved her high energy and positive vibe,” Crystal says. “She inspired me, and I knew that if I sold real estate, I would be successful, as we share similar qualities and passion.” Crystal went on to obtain her real estate license and develop a successful real estate practice in Orange County and the Inland Empire. In 2019, she joined forces with her former agent and became part of Lumbattis & Associates at First Team Real Estate in Yorba Linda.

Crystal is a valuable addition to this powerhouse team of five women whose focus is on building lasting relationships with clients and colleagues. In order to maintain meaningful bonds with people in their community, the team hosts quarterly client appreciation events and sponsors monthly “pop byes,” or campaigns in which they visit clients and potential clients with seasonal gifts. “Together, we’re able to bring more value to our clients, and we enjoy creating opportunities to connect with people in our spheres of influence. In October, we delivered pumpkin carving kits. We do something different each month. It’s our way of saying thank you and making people feel valued. Even if it’s something small, people still know they were on our minds.”

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While the team collaborates to deliver an exceptional real estate experience to clients, each member has her own unique skills and approach to doing business. Crystal places a high priority on marketing, and she works exclusively with award-winning photographer Mike Dew and his team to create eye-catching images of her listings. “The quality of photography makes a real difference in marketing, especially with higher priced homes. I also pay extra for social media marketing to get more exposure than just the syndicated real estate websites. And since statistics show that most people would rather watch a video than look at pictures, I also provide video and aerial drone footage for the homes I sell. Mike has an eye for the things that matter in a property. He’s an essential part of my team.”

According to Crystal, price, commission and marketing are the essential elements to selling a home. She builds value for sellers right from the start by providing them with reliable market data and expert pricing opinions. Then she follows through with comprehensive marketing that ensures a swift sale at maximum price. Recently, Crystal marketed a home for sale that had previously been on the market for 90 days with a discount broker, with no offers. In only two weeks, she brought the seller a full-price offer. “It was a beautiful home, but it wasn’t getting any exposure. My commission was more, but this is a good example of how you get what you pay for in real estate. I go to a listing appointment confident I can sell your home because I will market it correctly.”

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Crystal is also a savvy negotiator on behalf of buyers, and her positive peer relationships often make the difference in getting her clients’ offers accepted in a competitive market. “Building trust with other industry professionals is often crucial in resolving problems that come up in a transaction.” Clients describe Crystal as “easy to talk to” and “the ultimate professional.” One said: “Crystal was an exceptional agent! She went above and beyond what was expected. She worked diligently in preparing our home for sale, including helping with cleaning and out of pocket expenses that were so helpful to us. She was a pleasure to work with, and we highly recommend her.”

Outside of real estate, Crystal is a busy wife and mom to husband, Garrett, and their children, Kelsey and Bradley. When she’s not at an open house or showing properties, weekends are often filled with soccer games and barbecues. Working out six days a week helps her maintain the energy and positive outlook that she brings to her real estate practice. Crystal says she gives ongoing consideration to the ways in which she can bring value to her clients. “I think about it a lot. Caring about people is where the true joy of this job comes from. I love getting the end results, seeing happy clients and knowing I was involved in creating them. I think that’s where my value comes from.”

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Crystal Unrue First Team Real Estate 18180 Yorba Linda Blvd #501, Yorba Linda, CA 92886 Tel: 909.373.6073 - Email: crystalsellssocal@gmail.com Web: www.crystalunrue.firstteam.com - DRE #02031370 ExecutiveAgent Magazine



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Powerful Presentations Speaking For Success

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t’s been said that many of us would rather die than get up in front of a group and have to speak with any level of comfort. Too often the childhood scenario of being in front of the classroom ruminates in our brain and in a second, we are back to being that timid kid at the front of the class stammering, and hoping the recess bell rings to save us. The truth is whether you are offering a toast at a wedding, introducing business colleagues to each other, or actually presenting at a meeting, powerful presentation skills are a terrific asset and immediately communicate your level of personal power. In our consulting practice, we find with a heightened awareness, most people can improve their communication skills to in many areas of their personal and professional life, even if they are not professional speakers. Here are a few things to remember when presenting: 1.

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TEST the sound equipment BEFORE the event

or meeting. Nothing is worse than annoying feedback or a microphone that cuts out or isn’t working. Get there early and check out the equipment with the Audio Visual department. The biggest mistake made is testing the microphone close to your mouth, and then presenting with the microphone a foot or more away. 2. Learn to use a MICROPHONE effectively. So many presenters frustrate their audience because they turn away from the microphone as they speak, have it too low to make it effective or worse, mumble their words. Others may speak too loudly, which is equally annoying. Practice, practice, practice. 3. DRESS for success. Neat, clean, professional dress is key, unless you are an entertainer or a celebrity. The rest of us need to look the part. 4. Basic EYE CONTACT is essential to make the connection with authentic and personal connectivity to one or a hundred people. Be sure to make eye contact with those you are passing as you walk to the front of the room. This initiates a more personal and real experience for those about to hear your presentation.

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5. Be conscious of your BODY LANGUAGE. Your confidence or self esteem will be easily read by your audience if you are unsure of yourself. Any communication you deliver is more about the message, than you. Being prepared will help you communicate in a more relaxed, but powerful way. 6. OUTLINE your presentation in short bullet points on a card or sheet of paper to help prompt you during your presentation and to keep you organized. Don’t freelance it or read it word for word. Trying to remember everything you wanted to say and backing up to add it later will impact your credibility. 7. If you are using VISUAL AIDS or power point in your presentation, don’t rely on it so heavily you are not relevant to the program. Go to black between slides, keep the words LARGE and avoid the impulse to put too much on each slide. If they are reading the screen, it detracts from you as the presenter. 8. STICK to your allotted time. Don’t go beyond the time allowed or you may wreak havoc on the rest of the program timing.

You don’t have to be a professional to deliver a report, a toast at a wedding or honor a high achievement by an employee. Delivering the best you is the best policy for any communication opportunity that allows for your special leadership and expertise to shine. Terri Murphy is one of the industry’s leading consultants on the integration of traditional marketing and communication with today’s Web and Internet tools. Her expertise is developing and growing customer relations to create a more profitable business model for Fortune 500 corporations and real estate companies nationwide. She has 24+ year career in the real estate industry and holds the GRI, CRS, LTG & CREC designations. She is the CIO for U.S. Learning, Inc. and a frequent spokesperson for sales industries nationwide. Copyright© 2005, Terri Murphy. All right reserved. For information about Terri’s presentations, contact the Frog Pond at 800.704.FROG(3764) or email susie@frogpond.com; http://www.FrogPond.com.

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HISPANIC REAL ESTATE'S MOST

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DISRUPTING THE STATUS QUO?

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It’s time you make the move to a lender your future can depend on. Contact me to explore what loanDepot can do for your career! RICHARD HEDRICK

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ONTARIO BRANCH

RIVERSIDE BRANCH

TEMECULA BRANCH

SAN JUAN CAPISTRANO BRANCH

(909) 912-7810 3281 E Guasti Rd, Suite 550 Ontario, CA 91761

(951) 375-4800 41607 Margarita Rd, Suite 101 Temecula, CA 92591

(909) 912-7835 21804 Cactus Avenue, Suite 102 Riverside, CA 92518

(949) 799-3050 30448 Rancho Viejo Rd, Suite 250 San Juan Capistrano, CA 92675

*Closing times may vary depending on the terms & conditions of the loan. loanDepot.com, LLC (NMLS# 174457, www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org) and mellohome (Texas brokerage license #9006745) are sister companies” loanDepot.com, LLC NMLS ID 174457. Licensed by the Department of Business Oversight under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act CRMLA 4131040. (082919 244177)


Problems vs. Opportunities Be grateful for your problems. We all frequently deal with people who complain about the trials and tribulations of their daily lives. Life seems to be one big problem for them. I would like to take a common-sense, realistic approach and address this mind-set. If there were no “problems” on your job, then your employer would hire a much less capable person than you to do the routine things that don’t require much thought. In the business world, those who are able to solve complex problems are the ones who have the most value to the employer. Many times the problems or challenges we face force us to grow and become more capable. The runner who trains for the mile run in the Olympics by running downhill will have no chance of winning the medal. The runner who trains by running uphill is far more likely to develop the speed, mental toughness and endurance which it takes to win the medal. The best thing that ever happened to boxer Gene Tunney was that he broke both of his hands in the ring. His manager felt that he could never again punch hard enough to be the heavyweight champion. Instead, Tunney decided that he would become a scientific boxer and win the title as a boxer, not a slugger. Boxing historians will tell you that he developed into one of the best boxers who ever fought. They also will tell you that as a puncher, he would not have had a chance against Jack Dempsey, who was considered by many to be the hardest hitter in heavyweight history. Tunney would never have been champion had he not had the problem of his broken hands. Message: The next time you encounter a difficult climb, obstacle, “problem,” you should smile and say, “Here’s my chance to grow.” Develop that kind of an attitude and I will SEE YOU AT THE TOP! Zig Ziglar is a beloved author and America’s motivator. He is the author of 25 books and offers training and consulting to organizations all across the globe. To learn more about Zig and his business visit his website at www.ziglar.com.

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ExecutiveAgent Magazine


The Keys to Positive Change

I

s there an area of your life you’d like to improve? Do you wish for more loving relation-ships? Less stress? More time? More money? Better health? Someone to share life with? Some people call these longings “divine discontent.” We seem to be programmed to wish for more, no matter how much we have. The blessing in our discontent is that it forces us to think about how we might change things. Usually, our early attempts focus on changing other people (if only he/she would…) or changing our circumstances. In time, however, we learn that trying to change others is a waste of energy – it simply can’t be done. And many of us learn the hard way that even when we decide to change our circumstances and leave what’s causing the pain behind, things turn out much the same with the new love interest, job, or home. Another trap is getting caught up in self-improvement and goal setting. This kind of wishful thinking promises everything will be great if we just lose those 10 pounds, get the degree or promotion, or move into a more expensive house. Even though these accomplishments are commendable, we find they still don’t satisfy for long. When all these strategies inevitably fail, some people simply resign themselves to the situation (that’s just the way life is), some fall into depression (is that all there is?), while others use drugs or alcohol to numb the pain. On the other hand, there are those who are lucky enough to experience some kind of crisis – an accident, illness, or serious addiction – that forces them to finally understand that meaningful change can only come from within. According to Louise Hay, the world renowned, bestselling author of over 18 books on this subject, there are two simple keys to personal positive change: self-approval and self-acceptance. Sounds simple enough but, for me, learning to accept and approve of myself took a lot of work. Even as a child I had a hard time understanding the commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself.” Even at an early age, my experience was that I loved other people better than myself. (In the

popular psychology of the 1970s, this used to be described as a You’re Okay, I’m Not Okay worldview.) Anyway, common sense told me if I were to treat others as I did myself, they’d all move as far away as they could, as fast as they could. I was ready for Louise’s advice when I read her bestknown title, You Can Heal Your Life, and started to practice catching and correcting the negative self-talk that went on in my head all day, every day. Do you know that voice? It’s the one that says things like: You’re not smart enough; you don’t deserve that; you look awful; you’re lazy; and you should lose weight. As I practiced changing these negatives to positive statements, I found I had a better, brighter attitude about life. By countering those thoughts with positives like: I can figure it out; I’m deserving of everything my heart desires, I look wonderful; and I could lose weight, my growing sense of self-acceptance told me I was finally onto something that could make a difference. And it was so simple. Why not try this yourself? Just experiment with it for a week. It certainly couldn’t hurt and it may help a lot. To get the most out of the exercise, start by writing a brief summary of how you’ve been feeling and list the negative messages you are conscious of telling yourself each day. At the end of your experiment, summarize how you feel, what you’ve learned, and the new positive messages you are practicing. It is through small steps like these that we quiet “divine discontent” and learn to love and accept ourselves exactly as we are. Leslie Hamel, a certified Louise Hay Workshop Leader, is a business and personal effectiveness coach who also offers Body Wisdom Workshops based on the philosophy of Heather Williams, HWM. For information about Leslie’s workshops, please contact the Frog Pond Group at 800704-FROG (3764) or email Susie@frogpondgroup.com; http://www.frogpondgroup.com.

Written by Leslie Hamel ExecutiveAgent Magazine

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Our bone marrow transplant reunion is now standing room only. Each year, City of Hope invites bone marrow transplant recipients and their families to attend the “Celebration of Life” event. It’s a joyous time during which survivors of blood cancers such as lymphoma, leukemia and myeloma embrace their health, their life and each other. It began more than 35 years ago when City of Hope created what is now one of the largest and most successful bone marrow transplant programs in the world. In fact, we’ve completed over 11,000 transplants and, according to national reports, our outcomes are among the best in the nation. The goal of curing cancer isn’t just something we work at. It’s what we live for. If you have cancer, make us your first call. Or ask your doctor for a referral. We accept most insurance. 800-826-HOPE

COH-0726_BMT_Hem_fp_4c_ExecAgt.indd 1

WE LIVE TO CURE CANCER. Science saving lives. cityofhope.org/bmt

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