Echo Magazine - Arizona LGBTQ Lifestyle - August 2018 by OUTvoices Phoenix (former Echo Magazine)

Happily Ever After From proposals to honeymoons, four Valley couples share their big-day bliss LGBTQ NEWS, VIEWS AND ENTERTAINMENT | VOL. 29, #11 | ISSUE 707 | AUGUST 2018 | COMPLIMENTARY

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inside this issue Issue 707 | Vol. 29, #11 | August 2018

features NEWS 8

Letter From The Editor

12 News Briefs 14 Datebook 16 one•n•ten steps into summer with annual fundraiser PREVIEWS AND REVIEWS 40 At The Box Ofﬁce 44 The Small Screen 48 Between The Covers COMMUNITY

Here Come the Brides … and Grooms Four newly wedded Valley couples share their love stories – from proposals and planning to attire and advice.

Wedding Registry Hacks Mikey Rox rounds up 10 practical wedding gifts ideas your LGBTQ friends won’t need to exchange.

50 Not That You Asked

Best Dressed and Perfectly Suited Fashion expert Oscar De las salas offers tips for selecting your outﬁt of the (wedding) day.

52 Talking Bodies 54 Guest Columnist 66 Lambda Directory

ON THE COVER Justin Gonzalez (left) and Michael Bartley tie the knot in a summer destination wedding. Photo by Bridal Moments.

Happily Ever After From proposals to honeymoons, four Valley couples share their big-day bliss LGBTQ NEWS, VIEWS AND ENTERTAINMENT | VOL. 29, #11 | ISSUE 707 | AUGUST 2018 | COMPLIMENTARY

AUGUST 2018

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Reign XIII New monarchs focus on increasing diversity within the Imperial Sovereign Empire of Arizona.

inside this issue

echomag.com web exclusives PHOTO GALLERIES Did the Echo cameras catch you out and about at this month’s events? Find out at echomag.com/ gallery/2018-photos. COMMUNITY CALENDAR From pageants to advocacy, this is where the community goes to ﬁnd out what’s going on in the gayborhood. Fake It Till You Make It Guest columnist Gordon Fraser offers expert advice on how to stop “Impostor Syndrome.” echomag.com/fake-it

Out On Stage A ﬁlm featuring more than 15 top-rated LGBTQ comedians is heading to Arizona exclusively on July 24. echomag.com/out-on-stage

echomag.com/ community-calendar COMMUNITY DIRECTORY Looking for a local group to join? Have a group that’s seeking new members? Either way, this is the place to connect. echomag.com/ community-directory MARKETING SOLUTIONS Find out why Echo is the publication your future clients are already reading. echomag.com/ marketing-solutions

Titanic Summer Terri Schlichenmeyer reviews Russell J. Sanders’ new coming-of-age novel. echomag.com/titanic-summer

online now

Out & About For all the photos in this issue – and more – visit Echo’s online photo gallery. echomag.com/2018-photos

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AUGUST 2018

LETTER FROM THE editor By KJ Philp

elcome to Echo’s fourth annual wedding issue since marriage equality finally made its way to the Grand Canyon State. In the 50 issues we’ve produced since U.S. District Court Judge John W. Sedwick’s decision to overturn Arizona’s same-sex marriage ban in October 2014 we’ve shared countless stories of the ways that ruling changed the lives of our community members. We’ve celebrated love between couples, victories for families and the diligent work of the organizations dedicated to achieving this milestone – and this year we’re at it again. First and foremost, I have to thank the four couples we’re about to introduce you to for offering us a glimpse behind the scenes of their big days as they recounted the details with us. We’re thrilled to introduce you to these newlyweds: • Michael Bartley and Justin Gonzales (who you may have noticed on the cover) share how their love of travel set the stage for their modern destination wedding on page 22. • Amber Edens and Celena Quist emphasize the ways in which their exceptional planning experience led to the perfect big day on page 24. • Vince Urban and Franklin Diaz underscore the importance of expecting the unexpected when it comes to planning a destination wedding on page 26. • Nicole Newman and Sophia Lainfiesta highlight the ways in which balancing traditional and unique made their big day perfect on page 28. Before we move on to the rest of this issue, I have to give a huge thank you to the wedding photographers that made these stories come to life. You have the hardest job in the room and the opportunity to work with this

kind of talent is one of the things I look most forward to each wedding issue! We also asked our dear friend and fashionisto Oscar Del las salas to share his expertise on wedding day wardrobe selections. Regardless of what look you’re going after on your big day, he has all the style tips in “Best Dressed and Perfectly Suited” on page 32. And, if you’re curious what all that advice looks like when executed, be sure to check out Echo’s coverage of Oscar’s wedding at echomag.com/phoenix-couple-saysi-do. If it’s a same-sex wedding you’re attending, rather than planning, Mikey Rox dug up 10 unconventional wedding gifts that will surprise and delight your newlywed friends in “Wedding Registry Hacks” on page 34.

MANAGING EDITOR: KJ Philp CONTRIBUTORS: Anthony Costello Oscar De las salas Tamara Juarez Laura Latzko Edward Castro Tuesday Mahrle Liz Massey Kaely Monahan Devin Millington

David-Elijah Nahmod Tia Norris Hans Pedersen Seth Reines Mikey Rox Terri Schlichenmeyer Rachel Verbits Nikole Tower Megan Wadding

ART DEPARTMENT PHOTOGRAPHY: Fernando Hernández and nightfuse.com. ADVERTISING

All year we’re networking with local vendors, attending some brilliant same-sex weddings (can we just call them weddings yet?), and examining the state of marriage in Arizona and beyond to determine what exactly our community expects from us on this topic today. That’s certainly not for me to say, but I sincerely hope that the diverse assortment of experts and newlyweds that we’ve brought together for our 2018 wedding issue both inform and inspire you!

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KJ Philp is the managing editor of Echo Magazine. He can be reached at editor@echomag.com.

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DIRECTOR OF SALES AND MARKETING: Ashlee James

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PUBLISHER: Bill Orovan ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER: Bill Gemmill

For our next story, this pair may not be a married couple, but they’re as close as platonic titleholders get (plus they have some serious jewelry). We caught up with Empress Tyra Marie and Emperor Eddie Broadway as they embark on their year as monarchs of the Imperial Court of Arizona in “Reign XIII” on page 38.

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LGBTQ NEWS, VIEWS AND ENTERTAINMENT

Echo Magazine is published by ACE Publishing, Inc. Echo is a registered trademark of ACE Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved. Written permission must be obtained in advance for partial or complete reproduction of any advertising material contained therein. Opinions expressed therein are not necessarily those of the publisher or staff. ACE Publishing, Inc. does not assume responsibility for claims by its advertisers or advice columnists. Publication of a name, photograph of an individual or organization in articles, advertisements or listings is not to be construed as an indication of the sexual orientation, unless such orientation is specifically stated. Manuscripts or other materials submitted remain the property of ACE Publishing, Inc.

OUT & ABOUT Pride in the Pines 2018 June 23 at Thorpe Park, Flagstaff. Photos by Bill Gemmill.

For more Echo photos visit echomag.com/2018-photos.

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news briefs

After months of public approvals and estimates, a midnight crew began painting one of Phoenix’s two new rainbow crosswalks at Seventh and Glenrosa avenues. The second crosswalk is located at Central Avenue and Portland Street. Photo by Klayton Roark, thismelroselife.com.

Double Rainbow: PHX gets two colorful crosswalks By Brian Mori, thismelroselife.com In April, the Phoenix City Council issued a public request for proposals to bid on the installation of two rainbow-painted crosswalks. And by the early hours of July 9, the rainbow crosswalks had landed at Seventh and Glenrosa avenues in Melrose and at Portland Street and Central Avenue in Downtown Phoenix. The Phoenix Streets Department

determined that a plastic polymer melted onto the tar of the street should withstand Arizona’s brutal summers if maintained regularly. The project was paid for with private donations to Phoenix Pride and supervised by the City of Phoenix. “We wanted to have this done by Pride Festival (April 7-8),” said Phoenix Pride

board president Mark Leeper. “But as long as it’s done by Rainbow Festival it will [be] great.” The approval for the crosswalks followed months of discussion between project sponsor Phoenix Pride and Mayor Greg Stanton’s office, but was only added to the City Council’s regular Policy Session Agenda April 20.

Rising From the Ashes

one•n•ten celebrates one year of impact since an arson fire It was a moment of crisis for one•n•ten and the LGBTQ youth it serves when an arson fire destroyed its Youth Center on Third Street in midtown Phoenix July 12, 2017. The organization’s team scrambled to deal with the lost equipment and supplies donated to support its programs and the emotional toll on the youth who relied on the center as a safe escape from a tough world. Now, one year later the new Youth Center, located at the Bob & Renee Parsons Health & Wellness Center on Central Avenue and Portland Street, has gone on to serve hundreds of LGBTQ youth with its programs and services in a place they often call “home.” More than 353 youth ages 11 to 24 have been served in the center since the grand opening of the new 5,000 sq. ft. space since last September. Thanks to the Bob and Renee Parsons Foundation, the new Youth 12

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Center, which was thankfully already in the works when the fire occurred, enables one•n•ten to have a hub for programs, services, special events, and the regular counseling and group activities needed by the LGBTQ youth across the Valley. The youth are struggling with a variety of challenges including homelessness, bullying, isolation and lack of self esteem. “This is Home” has become the regular response from youth who were impacted by the fire, and now take advantage of the full offerings at the Youth Center. Of those one•n•ten has supported since the Youth Center opening - 70 percent are 18-24, while 30 percent are 11-17 years of age. Eighty-two percent identify as LGB+ and 18 percent identify as heterosexual or allies.

The short program will include an update from one•n•ten on its Youth Center impact, stories of resiliency from the youth, an inspirational story from a Phoenix Firefighter who is busy practicing his dance moves for his involvement in Dancing for one•n•ten and a stroll across the recently installed rainbow crosswalk. A reception will follow at FEZ, 105 W. Portland St., in Phoenix. For more information, visit onenten.org. Source: one•n•ten.

To mark the year of rising from the ashes, is hosting a special gathering at 6 p.m. July 26 at the new Youth Center, 1101 N. Central Ave., in Phoenix. news

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datebook

Save The Date

The Great Bridal Expo will feature wedding and honeymoon experts, along with a fashion show, giveaways and vendor exhibits, from noon to 4 p.m. at the Phoenix Convention Center, 111 N. Third St., in Phoenix.

The Arizona Bridal Show will feature more than 400 of the Valley’s top wedding experts from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. (both days) at the Phoenix Convention Center’s Center South Building, 33 S. Third St., in Phoenix. arizonabridalshow.com

greatbridalexpo.com/event/ phoenix-arizona-10-28-18 Oct. 7

March 10

Oct. 28

The Fairest Fair of All 2018, Arizona’s premiere boutique bridal fair, will feature live music, food and cake samples and wedding gowns from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. at The Clayton House, 3719 N. 75th St., in Scottsdale. bridalandbeyondaz.com

July 21

The Phoenix Bridal Show invites you to meet all the leading wedding professionals in a one-stop planning experience from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Chateau Luxe, 1175 E. Lone Cactus Drive, in Phoenix. phoenixbridalshow.com

bridalshowsaz-as.com

Aug. 14, 21, & 28

July 29

The Greater Phoenix Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce presents its 10th annual Biz Bowl, featuring a ComicCon costume contest, bowling awards and raffle, from 5 to 8 p.m. at Let It Roll Bowl, 8925 N. 12th St., in Phoenix.

The Arizona Bridal & Wedding Expo offer industry professionals, fashion shows, prizes and giveaways and showcases, to help you create the perfect day, from noon to 5 p.m. at American Consumer Shows, 1826 W. McDowell Road, in Phoenix.

The Mr. Gay Westcoast USofA and Mr. Gay Westcoast USofA At Large pageants, honoring Steven Michaels and Jeremiah Daniels, will take place at The Rock, 4129 N. Seventh Ave., in Phoenix. bit.ly/2N77iPx July 29

The Phoenix Women’s Chorus invites you to its New Member Open Rehearsals, Open House and Potluck each Tuesday from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. at Faith Lutheran Church, 801 E. Camelback, Road, in Phoenix. azpwc.org Aug. 19

gpglcc.org July 25, 31 & Aug. 7, 8, 12, 17

The Phoenix Mercury will face off against the Chicago Sky, the Seattle Storm, the Washington Mystics, Indiana Fever, Los Angeles Sparks and the Atlanta Dream (respectively) at Talking Stick Resort Arena, 201 E. Jefferson St., in Phoenix. phoenixmercury.com July26

Gay Skate AZ presents Back to the ’80s Summer Skate, benefiting GLSEN, from 9 p.m. to midnight (all ages) at Great Skate, 10054 N 43rd Ave, in Glendale. bit.ly/2Ldug6X

Drags Against Abuse, an all-ages fundraiser benefiting Wings for Women’s efforts providing services to women and children in need who have been affected by violence in the home, will take place from 5 from 7 to 10:30 p.m. at The Screening Room, 127 E. Congress, in Tucson. bit.ly/2LgHKPa

Strike Out Hunger 2018, a bowling event benefiting Joshua Tree Feeding Program, will take place from noon to 3 p.m. at Let It Roll Bowl, 8925 N. 12th St., in Phoenix. jtfp.org

davissonentertainment.com

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onenten.org/dancing mark our calendars

Aug. 4

Davisson Entertainment presents Stripped Cabaret, Valley actors and performers strip down to their undies and sing outrageous, laugh-out-loud and brutally honest songs, at 7:30 and 10:30 p.m. at The Playhouse on the Park, 1850 N. Central Ave., in Phoenix.

July 28

Watch this year’s contestants of Dancing for one•n•ten, an annual ballroom fundraiser, take the stage beginning at 1 p.m. at the Tempe Center for the Arts, 700 W. Rio Salado Parkway, in Tempe. (See story, page 16.)

To have your event considered for Echo’s print and online calendars, submit your event details to echomag.com/ community-calendar. All submissions are subject to Echo’s discretion. events

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Enough is Enough Get relief. Pure and simple. Ask your doctor about Mytesi. Mytesi (crofelemer): • Is the only medicine FDA-approved to relieve diarrhea in people with HIV • Treats diarrhea differently by normalizing the flow of water in the GI tract • Has the same or fewer side effects as placebo in clinical studies • Comes from a tree sustainably harvested in the Amazon Rainforest What is Mytesi? Mytesi is a prescription medicine that helps relieve symptoms of diarrhea not caused by an infection (noninfectious) in adults living with HIV/AIDS on antiretroviral therapy (ART). Important Safety Information Mytesi is not approved to treat infectious diarrhea (diarrhea caused by bacteria, a virus, or a parasite). Before starting you on Mytesi, your healthcare provider will first be sure that you do not have infectious diarrhea. Otherwise, there is a risk you would not receive the right medicine and your infection could get worse. In clinical studies, the most common side effects that occurred more often than with placebo were upper respiratory tract (sinus, nose, and throat) infection (5.7%), bronchitis (3.9%), cough (3.5%), flatulence (3.1%), and increased bilirubin (3.1%). For Copay Savings Card and Patient Assistance, see Mytesi.com

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• Upper respiratory tract infection (sinus, nose, and throat infection) • Bronchitis (swelling in the tubes that carry air to and from your lungs) • Cough • Flatulence (gas) • Increased bilirubin (a waste product when red blood cells break down) For a full list of side effects, please talk to your doctor. Tell your doctor if you have any side effect that bothers you or does not go away. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

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Pregnant or Planning to Become Pregnant? • Studies in animals show that Mytesi could harm an unborn baby or affect the ability to become pregnant • There are no studies in pregnant women taking Mytesi • This drug should only be used during pregnancy if clearly needed A Nursing Mother? • It is not known whether Mytesi is passed through human breast milk • If you are nursing, you should tell your doctor before starting Mytesi • Your doctor will help you to decide whether to stop nursing or to stop taking Mytesi Under 18 or Over 65 Years of Age? • Mytesi has not been studied in children under 18 years of age • Mytesi studies did not include many people over the age of 65. So it is not clear if this age group will respond differently. Talk to your doctor to find out if Mytesi is right for you

What Should I Know About Taking Mytesi With Other Medicines? If you are taking any prescription or over-the-counter medicine, herbal supplements, or vitamins, tell your doctor before starting Mytesi.

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11 Years, 11 Dancers

Meet the 2018 dance teams and their supporting businesses:

one•n•ten steps into summer with annual fundraiser

Fred Arbona with professional dancer Paige Knuth, representing Stacy’s on Melrose

financial advisor, a firefighter, and Echo writer and a software engineer are among the 2018 Dancing for one•n•ten competitors who will take the stage at Tempe Center for the Arts Aug. 19 in support of Valley nonprofit’s mission to serve LGBTQ youth and young adults. The one•n•ten supports youth ages 11-24 by empowering them through social and service programs that promote self-expression, selfacceptance, leadership development and healthy life choices. The community members who agree to compete in the 11th annual localebrity ballroom championship, presented by Tito’s Handmade Vodka, Bud Light and Four Peaks Brewing Co., do so out of a passion for supporting LGBTQ youth and will put in the twirl time to fund the programs that serve those facing a variety of challenges growing up in homes or a community that may not support them. “Every year we’re thrilled at the commitment these community members make to put in the time to push their own comfort zones and get on stage to support our mission,” said Nate Rhoton, one•n•ten executive director. “One dancer is an individual we once served. Another raises funds for us with her passion and auctioneering skills at our FRESH Brunch, and still others … want to do this to make a difference 16

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in the lives of young people who face a variety of challenges [including] homelessness, bullying, lack of self confidence – we provide programs and support services all year long to help individuals face these challenges.” Each year, Dancing for one•n•ten pairs professional dance instructors with a line-up of 11 contestants who commit to a summer of intensive training sessions in partnership with the Arizona Ballroom Dance Champions. This year’s event theme is “Dancing Around the World,” featuring regionally-inspired dance numbers. Additionally, each dance team agrees to raise at least $2,000 for one•n•ten by encouraging supporters to vote for them through online donations. Each team is also sponsored and receives support from a group of local bars that often host their own preview fundraisers. While the competition includes a People’s Choice and a Judge’s award, the dance team with the highest points will be designated with the presentation of the Grand Champion Award. Courtesy of one•n•ten.

Dancing for one•n•ten 2 p.m. Aug. 19 (VIP reception at 1 p.m.) Tempe Center for the Arts 700 W. Rio Salado, Tempe, Tickets: $35, $55 and $75 onenten.org/dancing

Lady Christian with professional dancer Elvin Dioquino, representing the Imperial Court Letitia Frye with professional dancer Jordyn Reyes, representing Lustre at Palomar Hotel Mike Johnson with professional dancer Iiana Gonzalez, representing BS West Kristofer V. Lee with professional dancer Iliana Gonzalez, representing Phoenix Pride Tuesday Mahrle with professional dancer Freddie Maese, representing Kobalt Devon Norris with professional dancer Diona Peltcs, representing Bliss/ReBAR Kalp Parikh with professional dancer Shannon Piece, representing The Rock Aneesh Ratan with professional dancer Selina Vega, representing Live 101.5 The Morning Mess Oscar Solis with professional dancer Jacody Bullard, representing Charlie’s Savannah Stevens with professional dancer Shawn Nerdahl, representing Miss Gay Arizona America NEWS

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OUT & ABOUT Phoenix Prideâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2018 Award Reception June 23 at the Penske Racing Museum, Phoenix. Photos by nightfuse.com.

For more Echo photos visit echomag.com/2018-photos.

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OUT & ABOUT ONE Night Only June 16 at Hotel Palomar, Phoenix. Photos by nightfuse.com.

For more Echo photos visit echomag.com/2018-photos.

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Justin Gonzalez (left) and Michael Bartley. Photo by Bridal Moments.

Michael & Justin

Grooms’ love of travel sets the stage for a modern destination wedding

By KJ Philp friends, creating experiences that we would all remember forever.” With the goal of creating a wedding that was more about the joys and journeys of life shared with loved ones, than the trappings of a traditional wedding, the grooms-to-be decided on a destination wedding at an all-inclusive adult resort. “It was surprisingly easier to pull off than we thought, and once we arrived and saw everything first hand, we knew we had made the right decision,” Bartley said. “It was a beautiful tropical locale with blue skies and blue water.”

The Venue

hree summers ago, Michael Bartley and Justin Gonzalez set out on an international summer vacation. The itinerary included stops in England and Greece – and not one, but two proposals. Neither Bartley nor Gonzalez had any idea that the other was planning to pop the question, but after 12 years together it’s not surprising these lovebirds were both on the same page. First, Bartley surprised Gonzalez with a proposal along the Thames River. And he said, yes! “Knowing that I still had my own proposal planned, I told him, ‘Let’s enjoy this day without calling our parents, posting on social media or other distractions,’” Gonzalez recalled, adding that his nowfiancé was hesitant, but agreed.

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“Little did he know that I had a proposal planned for a private tour inside the middle ring of Stonehenge the next day,” Gonzalez said. “Needless to say, he too said ‘Yes.’ Nothing was exactly like we had planned in our own minds, but it was perfect in every way … totally unexpected and as it was meant to be!” They newly engaged couple spent the next two years planning their big day and, on July 15, 2017, they exchanged vows surrounded by family and friends at El Dorado Royale Spa Resort in Riviera Maya, Mexico.

By opting for one of the resort’s wedding packages, the grooms eliminated the need for multiple vendors, which can be especially challenging when it comes to destination weddings. “Neither of us is particularly fussy, so working with the great team at the resort allowed us to select from the packages and little details that could make the experience simple, elegant and perfect for us,” Gonzalez said. Bartley and Gonzalez were married on the resort’s pier, with the ocean behind them and their closest friends and family before them.

The Destination

The Attire

“We both love to travel and make our own adventures,” Bartley said. “A destination wedding was perfect for us to celebrate with our families and

As beautiful as a beach wedding can be, Mexico in the middle of summer is not exactly the place for formal attire. Still, these grooms had one rule: No flip flops! A WEDDING STORY

“We definitely didn’t want a beachthemed wedding, but it needed to be practical to the environment,” Bartley said. “We selected about four wedding colors, and just asked everyone to dress nicely and to complement that color palette. We loved the idea of our wedding party dressing in similar colors without being identical.”

Another essential element was having someone meaningful officiate the wedding.

The grooms followed suit in classic jacket and pant combinations accented by vibrant pops of color that they felt expressed their collective taste while showing their individual uniqueness.

Bartley, who has officiated weddings for friends and family, knows how much this personal touch can add to a ceremony.

“It was ultimately about feeling and looking wonderful in what we wore, so that it could be about the beauty of the moment together,” Bartley said.

The Ceremony When it came down to the details of their big day, the grooms created a balance between mainstream traditions and custom modern touches. “We both walked down the aisle with each of our two parents, because we could never have gotten there without them,” Gonzalez said.

“We didn’t want one of the generic officiants the resort could provide, as we felt that would have been uncomfortable and impersonal,” Gonzalez said. “We were honored that one of our dear friends stepped up to the plate and took on that role.”

“… I will never forget the joyful tears, the love and laughter that I felt in my heart from the words of our amazing friend [the officiant],” he said.

The Reception With friends and family in attendance from all over the U.S. and abroad, Bartley and Gonzalez wanted their reception to be a social atmosphere “It was not the traditional, all-out reception,” Bartley added. “For me, it was about less stuff and less showiness, so that we could have more of a genuine experience with our friends and family.

Both of the grooms’ brothers served as their best men, and their best friends were their maids of honor (or best bi*tches, as they liked to be called).

The reception included a cocktail hour on the beachside pier (hello, photo op!) and wedding-crawl to several onsite bars and clubs.

“We each are lucky to have best friends who are family, and best family who are friends,” Bartley said. “Having them stand beside us for one of the most important moments in our lives meant everything.”

“While dinner was great, I couldn’t even tell you what I ate, and I’m glad,” Gonzalez said. “There was so much

A WEDDING STORY

Surprisingly, neither groom put much thought into the meal that was served at the reception.

happening and I’m thankful that what was most memorable wasn’t the meal on the plate.”

The Biggest Lesson Bartley admitted that he was a little stressed about everything that surrounds the planning of a wedding, especially a same-sex wedding. “By virtue of being us, we are already confronting traditions,” he said. “What I discovered is that none of that matters, as long as you remember that a wedding is solely about the two people getting married. Whether you’re religious or not, queer or not, traditional or radical, it has nothing to do with [it]. Make it everything to do with you and what comes next for your life in love, together.” With this shared perspective, Bartley and Gonzalez achieved the ultimate wedding goal: they created an experience reflective of them and their love for one another. “There are no rules,” Gonzalez asserted. “Do what truly makes you happy, then everything will fall into place ... and it will be the most incredible day of your life.”

READ THE REST

For Echo’s full interview with Michael and Justin, visit echomag.com/michael-justin.

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AUGUST 2018

Celena Quist (left) and Amber Edens. Photos by Laura Segall Photography.

Amber & Celena

Exceptional planning experience leads to brides’ big-day bliss

mber Edens and Celena Quist met three years ago. The Arizona natives had each returned to their home state – Edens, from a deployment serving in the Army in Iraq, and Quist, from veterinary school in Oklahoma. “We met three weeks after I graduated from veterinary school and the week Edens was diagnosed with breast cancer,” Quist recalled. “Going through her treatment by her side really led us through many of life’s challenges more quickly than your average relationship.” Knowing she wanted to propose, and not wanting Quist to see it coming, Edens went about planning romantic monthly dates for the two of them. “We went on a boat cruise at the lake with music, horseback riding, special dinners,” Edens explained. “All so when we planned a trip out of town [it] didn’t seem suspicious.”

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The Proposal “So, I planned a winetasting tour weekend in Cottonwood,” Edens said. “On our drive up, I told her we would be arriving too early for our dinner reservation. Being the animal lover that she is I suggested we stop at a park where I was told we would see lots of wild life. Upon their arrival, Edens had a hired photographer ready to capture the moment incognito. “The whole ride up I knew the words I wanted to say,” Edens recalled. “But when it came down to it, she saw it in my eyes, and we both started crying. So I could only whisper the words. Thankfully, she said yes! We celebrated the whole weekend with a very romantic stay at The Tavern Hotel.” For the next 14 months, leading up to their April 14, 2018, wedding, the couple went about planning the details of their perfect day.

By KJ Philp The Venue When considering where to host their wedding, the couple’s list of must-haves included a site with beautiful landscaping and a lot of greenery, one that wouldn’t require a ton of decoration, a space that could accommodate the ceremony as well as the reception, a day-of coordinator and service staff that was included. After “an exhaustive search,” visiting at least 20 or so locales, the brides-tobe decided on The Secret Garden Event Center as the backdrop for their big day. “When we walked onto the property of The Secret Garden we both knew instantly,” Quist explained. “Not only did it have everything we were looking for, but the people we met, that would be a part of planning and pulling off our day, were the upmost professionals and exactly who we wanted by our side. They became like family to us during the planning process.” As a bonus, the venue included two bridal/groom suites and a family suite, which made ceremony preparations convenient for the two brides and wedding party. “We were very appreciative when going on their social media, to see that they promoted many gay couples,” Quist added. “Let’s not forget about the grand staircase which makes for a very, very dramatic entry during the ceremony!

The Attire Edens wore a tailored women’s suit with a sexy lace bodysuit, as opposed to a shirt, with black patent leather dress shoes and silver earrings. “We weren’t sure exactly how to make her style come to life in the A WEDDING STORY

wedding until we met Duane Althoff at Nordstrom’s,” Celenda said. “No one could have pulled through and done a better job than him.” Althoff, a personal shopper at Nordstrom’s at Scottsdale Fashion Square, uses the ideas his clients present to create custom looks to try on at no additional charge for his service.

our own personal trials and tribulations – from the tragic loss of [my] mother to Amber’s battle with cancer – that have proclaimed these women necessary to stand by our sides. This is our personal tribe.” The wedding party also included two ushers, a greeter and their family as guests of honor.

“He not only nailed it with Amber‘s look, but provided options we never would have dreamed of ourselves,” Quist said. “And when all was said and done, [he] made her look and feel like the most beautiful version of herself we could’ve ever dreamed of.”

“Our related family was integral [to] our day,” Quist added. “Amber with her mother, grandmother, sister and stepfather; and [me] with [my] father, stepmother, stepsister and cousin.”

Quist wore a traditional wedding dress, from Roxanne’s Couture, and veil, by Lillian Lottie, with Swarovski crystal jewelry.

The brides decided on a unity ceremony that was extrapolated from many cultures and can be described as a lasso ceremony. For this, a beautifully beaded piece of jewelry, which closely resembles a rosary, is placed around the neck of each participant while a blessing is said. This lasso then remains in the home eternally.

“I searched many bridal stores for my wedding dress and no one, absolutely no one, deserves the business like Lillian Lottie does,” she said. “They have the best selection, the best prices and the best customer service hands-down of anywhere that I shopped.” While Quist found her dream dress at a couture store, which wasn’t a bridal shop, she wished she could have given the additional business to Lillian Lottie. “They were the experience that every bride deserves,” she said. “I love them so much I went back for my veil and also for my preservation cleaning of my wedding dress after the ceremony.”

The Wedding Party Both Edens and Quist had six bridesmaids. “There was no one that stood by our side that we could have done without.” Quist said. “Each of us have been through

A WEDDING STORY

The Ceremony

Quist’s stepsister was selected to be responsible for lasso ceremony – to bring it up during the ceremony and help the officiant place it around the brides. “We walked down the aisle (processional) to John Legend’s “You and I” and I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house,” Quist said. “And we celebrated the recessional to the song “Cheerleader” by Omi.

couples’ favorite moments. They danced a Bachata to the Prince Royce version of “Stand By Me,” which kicked off the rest of the reception. “We did dollar dances (about five songs) and a dedication dance to our parents, followed by one hell of a dance party,” Quist said. They had a cake cutting, tossed their bouquets and finished with a sparkler exit out to their getaway car.

The Biggest Lesson After more than a year of planning, the newlyweds agree that their big day was perfect. In hindsight, they also agreed that they could have used a bit more time. “Create a timeline and stick to it, the planning process goes quickly,” Quist said. “Taking time to enjoy it all allowed us to enjoy the entire process.” The brides, who had nothing but praise for the vendors they worked with, offered one important tip for couples embarking on their wedding planning. “Ensure every single vendor is supportive of the gay community,” Quist added. “You don’t ever want to feel like they aren’t 100 percent on your side … Surround yourself with your tribe – the best of the best people in your life.”

The Reception Following the ceremony, the reception included a thank-you speech by Edens, along with champagne toasts by several of their bridesmaids. The first dance, which Quist made a quick outfit change for, was one of the

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For Echo’s full interview with Amber & Celena, visit echomag.com/amber-celena.

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AUGUST 2018

Franklin Diaz (left) and Vince Urban. Photos by Kate Spinner.

Vince & Franklin

Local love story underscores the importance of expecting the unexpected

By KJ Philp about marriage,” Vince recalled. “Once his best friend gave me the green light, I started planning.” While Diaz noticed some of Urban’s moves – finger measurements, jeweler brochures and ring boxes popping up here and there – he had completely forgotten all about them at the music festival. Perched at the top of Coachella’s iconic Ferris wheel, on April 15, 2016, Urban got down on one knee and popped the question, and Diaz said yes!

The Destination

ince Urban moved to Phoenix from Berea, Ohio, 12 years ago. Franklin Diaz moved to Phoenix from El Paso, Texas, after high school. Neither had any intention of staying, but fate intervened. “I didn’t anticipate making as many great friends here as I’ve made, and it became a local family,” Urban recalled. “That was hard to leave.” Diaz found himself in a similar situation, and eventually the two transplants crossed paths. “… Phoenix has a way of keeping you,”

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Urban said, adding that he and Diaz both felt at home enough to put down roots and start their respective Valley-based businesses. Realizing they shared so much in common, Urban and Diaz officially became an item in March 2014 and then lawfully wedded husbands Sept 27, 2017, in Roatan, Honduras.

The Proposal “Back in 2016, I talked to Franklin’s best friend first to talk through my idea of proposing and then also had him do some recon to see how Franklin felt

“We were both on the same page about the Caribbean and, logistically, a Caribbean cruise seemed like the best option,” Diaz recalled. “It also gave some of our family members and friends, who’ve never been on a cruise, a reason to travel the open seas. After researching cruise lines and islands they could legally married on, the grooms-to-be decided on St. Thomas. After 16 months of destination wedding planning – including a cruise adventure with 61 guests – Diaz and Urban heard the news about a little storm called Irma. “On Sept. 6, the Category 5 Hurricane devastated St. Thomas,” Diaz recalled. A WEDDING STORY

“Phone and power on the island were down, and we couldn’t contact the resort, photographer, baker or courthouse. On Sunday, Sept 10, I woke up at 6 a.m. and did my normal routine to check Facebook before making coffee. Our resort posted all weddings were canceled until December.” With only a week until their departure, Diaz and Urban started evaluating new possibilities for their big day. “Finally, two days before we were supposed to set sail, the cruise line updated the itinerary, and it was a completely different cruise,” Urban said. “They changed it from an Eastern Caribbean cruise to a Western Caribbean cruise … So now I had two days before we left to re-plan a wedding [in] Roatan, Honduras.

The Venue “The venue in Roatan, Honduras, Las Palmas Resort, was absolutely incredible to work with, especially given our short time frame,” Urban said. “They really went above and beyond to recreate everything we had planned for St. Thomas.” Subsequently, the grooms learned that the venue had been sold to new owners two weeks before their wedding. So this marked the resort’s first wedding since the property was purchased. “You would never have known we were their first though, as everything was stunningly beautiful,” Urban said.

The Attire The grooms opted for light tan pant and vest combinations, with a white buttonup shirt. The only difference was Urban wore a blue tie, and Diaz wore a green bowtie to express unity as well as some personal uniqueness. “We worked with The Fit Alternations, who we couldn’t be happier with,” Diaz said.

A WEDDING STORY

The Wedding Party

The Biggest Lesson

“We kept our wedding party small … We were blessed to have both chosen and related family join us.” Diaz shared. “Kevin Bushaw was our officiant. I’ve known him for five years, and he was an obvious choice. His strong, charismatic personality brought humor and traditional importance to our ceremony.”

“Even when you think you have everything planned and figured out, life will throw its curve balls,” Diaz said. “You have to take them and make the most of the situation. Marriage is also teamwork, and we had an early taste of teamwork because of these hurricanes.”

Friends from college served as best men to the grooms. “As a tip, definitely involve your family if possible,” Urban reflected. “Even if it’s not in any of the planning, just having them there will mean a lot.”

The Ceremony Diaz and Urban incorporated many elements of a traditional ceremony into their wedding, including the reading of the vows, the ring exchange and the first kiss. “The one unique element we added was that instead of the traditional sand ceremony, we used wine instead,” Urban said. “Franklin likes white wines and like red wines. So, we thought it would be cool to combine our wines in a carafe and then drink from that as opposed to both pouring sand into a bottle …”

The Reception While the grooms did incorporate the traditional cake cutting (and exchanging the first pieces with each other) and first dance as a married couple, there was no throwing of flowers or anything. As “good gays,” Urban and Diaz personalized the heck out of the entire affair. For our guests, we had custom wedding swag for each of them,” Diaz said. “The water bottles and drawstring backpack each had their personalized name printed. And how could we leave out the “Gay Zanax Wedding” bottles with custom printed M&Ms? “

The only thing Urban would change, if he could, would be allowing more time for the wedding photo session before the ceremony, so the grooms could enjoy themselves with the guests longer before returning to the ship.

The Anniversary As these grooms approach their first anniversary, they have a few words of wisdom to pass along to other newlyweds. “Continue to do all the things you’ve done before you got married,” Diaz said. “Like, always kiss too often, say “I love you,” and apologize when you’re wrong or cranky.” The newlyweds agree that things don’t have to change just because you now have a piece of paper that says you’re married. “Continue going on ‘dates’ and having the special time together that you’ve always enjoyed,” Urban offered. “Lastly, remember that people continue to grow and evolve throughout their life. Always ask questions and never stop trying to get to know your partner. This will help to make sure that you are growing together and not apart.”

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For Echo’s full interview with Vince and Franklin, visit echomag.com/vince-franklin.

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AUGUST 2018

By KJ Philp

Nicole & Sofia

Brides find perfect big-day balance pairing traditions with distinction

his summer marks five years together for newlyweds Nicole Newman and Sofia Lainfiesta.

Lainfiesta was born in Guatemala, grew up in Spain and Guatemala, and moved to the United States 15 years ago. At a young age, Newman and her family moved from Northern California to Arizona. Their wedding was the culmination of more than just big-day decision making. Because their relationship was new, this process involved getting to know each other on a deeper level, careful communication, meeting future in-laws for the first time and incorporating conventional wedding elements as well as starting their own traditions.

The Proposal “I knew very quickly after meeting Sofia that this was leading to forever,” Newman shared. “I wanted to show her my commitment and decided to propose after six months, a little slower than the third date U-Haul … ‘classic lesbian’ expectations!” As the new couple hit the road for a day hike in Sedona, Lainfiesta admits Newman’s proposal was the ultimate surprise. “First she made me drive (I dislike driving!). Second, she was very nervous, and I assumed due to my driving. Third, we passed several hiking spots driving into Sedona, so I was confused why we were going somewhere so secluded,” Lainfiesta recalled. “ … I had no idea that a hike in Sedona six months after we met, was going to become a proposal. Upon reaching the top of the rocks, with a one-of-a-kind red rock backdrop, Lainfiesta was taking pictures of the magical view and turned around to find Newman down on one knee. “Sofia screamed and yelled that awful word that no one proposing wants to hear,” Newman recalled. “Later, I found out she was so surprised she was going to say ‘No way’ (in shock), but caught herself … after yelling ‘no.’ Thankfully she quickly corrected her answer to ‘YES!’”

The Venue The couple’s venue must-haves included an outdoor space and an intimate setting priced within the budget they’d set. Newman’s father offered his backyard as a venue option and, after considering to use his backyard so that “We could create our own venue style with no limitations,” Newman said, “which allowed us to truly make the most beautiful outcome – with lanterns, candlelight tables and a beautiful background piece we got married in front 28

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A WEDDING STORY

when both families could attend was critical.

Nicole Newman (left) and Sofia Lainfiesta. Photos by Megan Robbins Photography.

Most of Newman’s family lives in Phoenix, but most of Lainfiesta’s family lives in Guatemala, so the brides planning well in advance was critical to allowing everyone time to coordinate to travel. “We were very fortunate that many of our family could attend,” the brides agreed, “including our dear friends who have become family too!”

The Biggest Lesson Both brides agree, the most important tool for navigating the wedding planning process was communication.

of – all hand-made with the gracious help of some very dear friends!” While this venue would limit the guest list, Lainfiesta was already realizing that her bride-to-be’s desire for a smaller and more intimate ceremony was a good fit for them.

The Vendors The year prior to their wedding date, the brides-to-be attended Pride Guide’s LGBT Wedding & Honeymoon Expo where they discovered several vendors they were interested in using. By setting appointments to find out more, they were able to make informed decisions on who would best meet their needs. “Attending a wedding expo can be overwhelming … but also very helpful having so many vendors and services in one place,” Newman said. “I strongly encourage having a budget in mind before going, so you can make sure you’re aware of what you can spend, or not spend, and figure out what should and shouldn’t make the cut to stay within your budget.”

gentleman from Nick’s Menswear at the Pride Guide Wedding Expo, Newman’s first stop was the Arrowhead Mall location. “The good news is I love the look of a sharp three-piece suit, so this was an easy decision,” Newman said. “They were just phenomenal! Amazing customer service in finding me the right color suit, all the accessories, tailored the suit to fit me just right, and the price was quite reasonable.”

The Wedding Party The brides agreed to buck tradition a bit in terms of a wedding party. “We wanted to keep it simple and allow our friends and family to enjoy themselves,” they shared. “We did include Sofia’s son, Inigo, and Nicole’s 3-year-old niece, Amelia, to deliver the rings during the ring exchange portion of the ceremony.” Because family is so important to both of the brides, setting the date for a time

“Take your time to decide what both couples vision before going ‘shopping’ for venues/vendors/styles,” Lainfiesta said, adding that a clear agreement of what you’re going for will reduce confusion, time and stress while shopping and planning. Newman agrees with her wife, adding that she always remind people to not get too caught up or stressed out. “In the end its really about the couple and their love for each other … Do what makes YOU happy,” Newman offered. “It can be easy to be influenced by family and friends of expectations, but truly this is your wedding and you when you look back at your wedding, you want to be happy and smile at the experience you had.

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For Echo’s full interview with Nicole and Sofia, visit echomag.com/nicole-sofia.

The Attire For these blushing brides, their wedding day wardrobe was less about tradition and more about honoring the wishes of their soon-to-be spouse. “I never dreamed of wearing a white dress, but Nicole really wanted to see me in a traditional white wedding dress,” Lainfiesta said. “It took a little convincing, but I finally went dress shopping … [and] I fell in love with LUV Bridal in downtown Phoenix. From the moment I walked in I was treated like royalty ... they [created] a memorable shopping experience [for me], my friend and my son …” Similarly, Lainfiesta has expressed that she’d like to see Newman in a light gray three-piece suit. Having met a A WEDDING STORY

EchoMag.com

AUGUST 2018

Best Dressed and Perfectly Suited Fashion expert offers tips for selecting your outfit of the (wedding) day By Oscar De las salas

ou have asked for their hand in marriage, and the love of your life said yes! Or perhaps you were the one who said yes. Either way, congratulations to both of you. With that one word, you are on your way … So, what’s next? Time to start the very long to-do list to prepare for your big day. Having experienced this with my now-husband not too long ago, I know how daunting this list can be (find out more about Oscar’s wedding at echomag.com/phoenix-couple-saysi-do). I’m no wedding planner, but I’d recommend starting with few of these key items: • Select the date and the venue for the ceremony, plus the reception (if you are having one). • Hire a wedding or event coordinator, if you choose. They will help you assess who else you’ll need to hire. • Schedule some time to sit with your family, your spouse-to-be, your BLGBTQF (Best LGBTQ Friend) or your BLGBTQA (Best LGBTQ Ally) to figure out the type of wedding you’d like, the desired flow of your reception, the colors for the event and other details that will get you started. • Generate a budget, this will influence several of the key points above in addition to determining how many guests you’d like to invite. Since this list could go on for pages and pages, I’ll skip to my chief area of expertise: some more specific guidelines to follow when selecting your #OOTD (outfit of the day) for the big day.

Seasonal Reasoning When it comes to selecting your wedding ensemble, perhaps the most important decision you’ll make (once you’ve selected your wedding date) is regarding the type of material you’ll wear. Our Sonoran Desert summer lasts

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almost six months, and even in shorts and tank tops, it’s impossible to beat the heat. The last thing you want is to be unnecessarily sweating on your special day. So, general rule is to be aware of a fabric’s thread count per inch, which ranges from very heavy to very light. If you are considering a suit or a tuxedo, I would suggest pairing a classic Egyptian cotton shirt with a very light wool pant and jacket. If your budget allows, consider a blended material – these vary from wool-silk to wool-silk-linen – which are much more comfortable. With a good thread mix, the fabric could be very, very light and comfortable while maintaining a slim, modern silhouette. If you really want to be comfortable, pure linen is the way to go, but be aware of the wrinkling effect that will occur over the time frame of your wedding and reception. If you decide on a wedding gown, my personal suggestion is to select from materials that are light and have a smidgen of romance. Remember that most gowns are designed with mixed materials and have several layers, so picking the right material and choosing the right volume of layers is key.

a fabulous fun party or a fabulous formal event, is color choice. Keep in mind that solid colors will always speak to serious matters (especially if they are dark and have no sheen). In contrast, loud and bright colors set the tone for a bright, energetic celebration. Don’t be afraid to be bold or locale appropriate when it comes to color. I distinctly remember seeing pictures of a couple who picked a sorbet yellow color as part of their garments for their Palms Springs wedding, and they looked fabulous, darling! And, when it comes to daytime vs. nighttime color choices, my best suggestion is this: unless it’s a winter wonderland or a white party, light colors are for daytime.

Style Points Now that we have some guidelines on the way the seasons and colors can convey your intended theme or sentiment, let’s get into additional options for styling your big-day ensemble. This is where you can go entirely off-script, get loud, play with color, present an incredibly entertaining

Most dress shops and designers will be able to help with this, and also make sure your dress is appropriate for the season, as far as layers are concerned. Some materials have tremendous sheer (lace, tulle, organza, chiffon) and need a higher number of layers or solid backing to avoid showing too much skin. My suggestion is to start with the ones I consider the most comfortable, like silk or charmeuse as a base and go from there.

Your Personal Palette Another decision you’ll be faced with, which can mean the difference between

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look (or complimentary looks) all by simply being unafraid to add your personal touch. Think of events you’ve attended where attire contributed to making the celebrations fun, uplifting and unique – or, conversely, affected the mood to reflect a more serious affair. Whichever way you choose to take your wedding day is perfectly appropriate, as long as it’s what you want. Just remember, the flavor is in the subtle touches. In case of a masculine look for a wedding, I always opt for a dark fitted suit to start. Of course, the most infallible elegant option – for any season – is a formal tuxedo. Then add a light tie in spring or summer or dark tie in fall or winter. Still, consider this just the base of your look and don’t be afraid to vary colors, shapes, create contrasting colors and add some blingbling from there. This is where two grooms can really explore ways to complement one another, regardless of how formal their suits or tuxedos are. For the feminine wedding look, you can never go wrong with white. Of course, the white wedding gown is the most traditional look and there is a historic reason for the white gown (which would take too long to address here). But, from white as a base, don’t be afraid to navigate to light colors – from pearl, to arctic white, to even soft pink – but keep your selection soft and light. If you’re looking to buck tradition in favor of a bold statement, do not feel confined by white. A friend of mine, who just married in San Francisco, wore a beautiful strapless, fitted mermaid silhouette fish tail ALL BLACK wedding gown … during day time! A combination of both would make for an unforgettable selection in the case of two brides going for contrasting, but complimentary gowns.

Fit for a King, or Queen Since fitting and tailoring is the key to your final look, it’s essential that you find an expert on this matter. Someone with expertise will ensure that your garments are perfect for you, and not look like they are on loan. It’s not enough to find the perfect attire for this special occasion – go the extra mile to make sure you feel confident in the way it fits. This is especially useful if you’re considering shopping for any of your garments online, in vintage stores (don’t write this idea off entirely, you never know what you’ll find). And, if you are shopping online, visit your tailor or seamstress to get your overall, specific dimensions and sizes before your purchase. This will allow you to shop with confidence. FEATURE STORY

If, for any reason, you think finding a tailor or seamstress is a step worth skipping, I offer this: Even if it’s “good enough” for the ceremony and/or reception, just think of your photos. No one wants ill-fitted wedding attire to steal the show in a photoshoot you won’t have the opportunity to recreate. Trust me on this one.

Omg, Shoes When it comes to wedding footwear, always think comfort. Always! To help you achieve this, don’t be shy about wearing your wedding shoes a week or two before your big day, so you are able to “train” them. This is a trick that rarely gets talked about, and while it might seem minor, it is important, as you will be wearing them for a long period of a time. A “test drive” to your wedding shoes/ heels will ensure that you are not wincing in pain while saying “I Do” or leaving the

dance floor earlier than intended. Then, prepare your shoes for this important day by giving them a good clean, shine, buff, change the sole (if needed) and make sure the design elements are in place. These overall basics will give you a general idea of what to look for when you start to find the garments you are about to wear for your special day. Whatever your decision is, remember that love is what brought you to this moment, so enjoy your step into lifetime happiness with the one. Oscar De las salas sees the world through the lens of design, and his wedding was a reflection of that. He and his husband, Gary, envisioned, planned and created their version of a summer waterfront wedding in 2014.

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AUGUST 2018

Homemade Craft Booze

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Wedding Registry Hacks 10 practical gifts ideas for your LGBTQ friends on their wedding day By Mikey Rox

ince when have we as an LGBTQ community ever conformed to mainstream expectations? As we continue to carve out our own space in the wedding landscape – deciding which big-day traditions we’d like to adopt and which to dismiss – we’ve decided that the gifts we give our dearly beloved should follow suit.

So, brush off you LGBTQ friends’ wedding registry (what kind of basic b*tch gifts a blender anyway?) and consider a practical-but-still-thoughtful present that the happy couple can put to good use without taking up much, or any, space in their love nest home. Here are 10 ideas to get you started.

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A Personal(ized) Touch

Regardless of how on or off trend monogramming might be at any given moment, there’s nothing more appropriate – for both keepsake value as well as a little ﬂash of vanity – than personalized gift for your newlyweds. By adding their initials, names or wedding date to an already ﬁerce gift, you elevate it to a conversation piece. So, maybe not if it’s a towel or robe, but consider such items as coasters, wine labels, memory books, photo blankets, throw pillows or even passport covers. 34

If your pals are booze lovers, add a personal touch to one of their favorite beverages by brewing a case of homemade suds, fermenting wine or bottling gin. To add even more ﬂair, dress the bottles with custom labels that you can order online that celebrate their wedding day. The recipients will enjoy kicking back and relaxing with your pick-me-up gift, and they’ll likely think fondly of your creativity and care every time they crack off a cap.

LanguageLearning Software

One of the advantages of your friends being LGBTQ and bound by marital law is that they’re likely a DINK (dual income no kids) couple that has money to burn. (No offense to all you gay parents out there, of course, but your days of jet setting are over for a while.) Thus, they have the incredible opportunity to see the world at their leisure if they’re savvy savers. You can help make their vacation even more enriching and fulﬁlling by gifting them languagelearning software. If you know them well, you probably know which language to choose; if not, pry for information. The beauty of languagelearning software – besides becoming part of an entire population of people with whom they can now converse – is that it’s conducive to couples using it together, which will help fortify their relationship even more.

feature story

6 Dance Classes

If the two saying “I do” have four left feet, present them with pre-wedding dancing lessons. Attending several sessions a few months before the wedding will give the rug-cutting duo more confidence on the floor when they’re in the spotlight for the first time.

DatePlanning Subscription

Date-planning services – like The Heart Bandits and The Yes Girls – will help you send the happy couple on outings that run gamut of such uncommon experiences as ring-smithing classes, fencing lessons and body-painting sessions or tamer options, including comedy shows and wine tastings. To help keep their ﬁrst year of marriage fresh and fun, gift a no-hassle, preplanned date that facilitates quality time participating in an activity that’s free for them. It’s the least you could for drying out their open bar.

Moving Crew

5 7 Home Repair Supplies

Home repairs, even small ones, add up quickly – especially if they have to hire someone. To help alleviate this cost, surprise the lawfully wedded couple with a hodgepodge of tools and other household must-haves in a quality toolbox for convenient and aesthetically pleasing storage. Another helpful around-the-house idea is to gift painting essentials – trays, rollers, brushes, and drop cloths – with a gift certiﬁcate to a nearby hardware store so they can choose the colors to freshen up their home.

If the newly betrothed are relocating soon, do them a solid and purchase a moving package. This can be pricey, so if you can’t afford to hire several hours of full-service moving, ask your mutual friends to pitch in or put on your charitable caps and DIY the move together. The only cost of going the latter route is time and energy, plus you’ll get in a great workout outside of a bedroom.

Deep Cleaning Service

We gays like to keep a clean house (most of us anyway), and while weekly spot cleaning is a breeze, the twiceyearly deep clean is a burden. Make it easy-breezy your freshly married friends – who should be spending their ﬁrst year having fun under the sheets instead of sweeping behind the stove – by surprising them with several hours of cleaning services scheduled for the beginning of spring and fall. feature story

HitchSwitch Gift Card

While taking on your new spouses last name is not as common in LGBTQ marriages as it is in straight unions, plenty of LGBTQ couples are traditionalists – and more power to them. To make the name-changing process stress free by setting them up with HitchSwitch, an online namechanging service that removes all the hassle of assembling, ﬁlling out and ﬁling forms for just $89. True, it’s not a super exciting gift, but it’s one less thing they’ll have to worry about as they start their new life together, and they’ll appreciate that sentiment very much.

Cooking Lessons

Cooking isn’t everyone’s favorite hobby, but it’s one of those few daily opportunities that newlyweds can take advantage of to grow closer. If the couple isn’t kitchen savvy, introduce them to the wonderful world of fromscratch satisfaction with cooking lessons. Private lessons can be held in their home, or you can ﬁnd a local establishment that offers lessons. The latter will be much less expensive than the former, and it’ll give your friends an opportunity to mix and mingle with other couples, with whom they already have something in common.

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBTQ lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He splits his time between homes in New York City and the Jersey Shore with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox. EchoMag.com

AUGUST 2018

OUT & ABOUT Miss Gay Arizona America 2018 Pageant June 17 at the Tempe Center for the Arts. Photos by nightfuse.com.

For more Echo photos visit echomag.com/2018-photos.

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How to extend the life of your aging AC unit I can’t stress enough that simple annual preventative maintenance is the one thing you can do that will add extra years of life to your AC unit and prevent breakdowns. That is why I created the “Complete Tune Up” years ago providing everything to keep a system in optimal shape for performance and longevity. It is over $680 worth of parts and physical work on your system for just $159.95. If your unit is old and problematic, then you really should take some time to prepare so you don’t have the panic that comes with an unexpected new AC unit purchase. The first rule of thumb is when you are spending more on repairs than maintenance and your unit is 12-15 years old, it is definitely time to start shopping. This at least gives you time to prepare and know what your options are. Here are things you should expect to see to insure you are getting the best information and pricing. Newer units are made with higher efficiency and capacity, however, the BTU output which is the required amount to effectively cool the square footage in your home, has changed. You may not always be best served replacing like for like in tonnage. In order to give the accurate BTU and tonnage requirement, a Heat Load Calc, also referred to as a Manual J Load Calc, should be done. It takes into account the home’s square footage, location and number of windows and doors relative to sun exposure, and ceiling heights along with how much insulation is in your attic. It gives you the most accurate unit size needed. If you buy an AC unit slightly undersized, it will run all the time and there goes the efficiency you wanted from your new unit. If it is oversized, it will short cycle and not run long enough which puts immense wear on the unit. So expect a contractor to spend a good hour or more in your home looking at these things before they provide you an estimate. If they just tell you here is what you have so here is what you need, keep shopping. Next is the issue of pricing. Most units unfortunately have their final meltdown during the summer’s extreme heat. So you are pressed to make some fast decisions in order to bring cool comfort back to your home. Unfortunately, some contractors will take advantage of that weak point and offer higher than normal or even gouged pricing. The average new AC unit replacement should run between $6,000 and $8,000. If you are getting some crazy high estimates, keep shopping. Lastly, when shopping, one factor that determines price is the energy efficiency or SEER Rating. Today’s minimum is a 14 SEER which is probably double what your older unit is putting out. That makes for a nice savings come utility bill time. Units can go up to 20 or 22 SEER but the high cost does not really payoff in long term energy savings. A 16 SEER unit is probably your best value and return on investment. About the author:

Erik Bryan is the owner of Precision Air & Heating, the #1 ranked AC company in the state. Erik has been an HVAC contractor for more than 25 years serving the Valley. “Make the Precision Decision” and let us help you with a no charge New Unit estimate.

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said. “We want to take it a step further and actually bring those diverse communities to forefront of the conversation, to actually have a say in a lot of what the court does [and] what the future looks like for the court.”

Feature Story

Reign XIII New monarchs look to increase diversity within the Imperial Sovereign Empire of Arizona By Laura Latzko

he Imperial Sovereign Empire of Arizona is a nonprofit organization that’s steeped in tradition – from the pomp and circumstance of coronation weekend to the formation of each monarch’s lines at investitures.

successors to the thrones for Reign XIII.

As Reign XII came to a close for Monarchs Dave McQueen and Akasha Knight, candidates for Reign XIII announced their quest for the throne and asked the community to cast their votes April 26-28.

Under the theme “D.I.V.E.R.S.I.T.Y.,” Empress Marie and Emperor Broadway will focus on “Dedication, Integrity, Value, Empathy, Results, Sacrifice, Initiative, Tenacity, and Youthfulness.” And, during their reign, the new monarchs hope to incorporate more youth, members of the transgender community and individuals of different races and ethnicities into the court.

Then, May 5, the court revealed that Tyra Marie and Eddie Broadway would we

“The court has already done a lot with diverse communities,” Broadway The Latin Pride of the Desert, the Sparkling Tequila Rhinestone Showgirl legend of Phoenix. Photo by Scotty Kirby.

To support this theme, Marie and Broadway have already started planning to add a new grant for transgender individuals and a scholarship for Latino students to the court’s Bryon Wiley Memorial Scholarship Fund. Additionally, the monarchs are in the process of creating a youth line for Reign XIII. “Youth are a very important part of our community because they are the future Monarchs of the Court, they are the future Miss and Mister Phoenix Pride, they are the future Mr. and Miss Arizona America,” Marie said. “In other words, they are the next community leaders who will be organizing fundraisers and raising money for our community. That is why it’s important to [include] them on all these ideas.” Reign XII raised $48,184 to donate back into the community. With proven skills in the areas of drag, pageantry, leadership and fundraising, Marie and Broadway have high expectations for exceeding this goal in the year ahead. But don’t take our word for it … Echo caught up with Marie and Broadway to find out more about their royal aspirations for Reign XIII and here’s what they had to say.

Empress XIII Tyra Marie Marie has been performing for 13 years and has held local titles in the Miss Gay America Entertainer of the year and Phoenix Pride pageant systems. Within the Imperial Court of Arizona, Marie has served as Princess Royale and done command performances at the court’s coronation. Echo: How did you arrive at the theme diversity? Marie: With me being Latino and Eddie being transgender, it was very important that we highlight diversity as part of our reign. We also made sure our line was very diverse, that way we could [deliver] what we campaigned. Echo: In what ways has your pageant experience prepared you for your new role as empress? Marie: I think when you are a titleholder, you have to have a really thick skin … you have everybody looking at you. Everyone is judging everything you do … and I think I have already been molded for that. So, coming into this, I think I was very prepared. Echo: How does being Empress XIII 38

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Feature Story

The Empathic Indigo Otter of the Desert, the Rhinestone Encrusted Showman Legend of the Phoenix, the first elected Transgender Emperor of Arizona. Photo by Scotty Kirby.

a national titleholder about integrity, giving back to the community and really caring about where drag started, I felt like I had the steam power behind me to continue and reign this year. Echo: How did you arrive at the theme diversity for Reign XIII? Broadway: Diversity is something I discussed a lot during my campaigning around the Valley because I wanted to inform people that, although the court does amazing things already, it needs more diverse communities to come and have a seat at the table … We want to ensure that everyone feels welcome, has a voice and gets their organizations represented … Echo: What else can you tell us about your forthcoming youth line? Eddie: … We’re not 100 percent [sure of] what it will look like quite yet. We have already been in communication with one•n•ten on how we can make this happen. Our vision is to help the youth line members develop their leadership skills; learn about the court, nonprofits, fundraising/event planning and maybe even performance … Echo: Why is familiarizing youth with the court and its mission important to you?

compare to the previous titles you’ve held? Marie: What’s different is having to work with someone else ... Now, having to work with someone, it’s like having a husband. You have to make sure you both approve on the same things because it’s both of your names on it at the end of the day. Echo: What type of community members were you looking for with your lines?

every year and I was able to graduate … That is the reason why I want to give back to my community through the scholarship program. Echo: Any advice to readers who may want to get involved? Tyra: Everyone is welcome. We make sure that everyone feels welcome and loved. Message either of us and we will get you started on this journey with the Imperial Court of Arizona.

Marie: You want to have people that you can trust and people that you know are going to be there for you and also have that passion for the community … We have people that we kept from last year’s lines because they are amazing, and we also brought in our own friends, that we know are going to help us on this journey.

Emperor XIII Eddie Broadway

Echo: What can you tell us about the new scholarship for Latino students that you’ll be introducing?

He as previously served the court as Baron, Duke and Grand Duke, and has performed at various fundraisers for the court. Broadway also has the distinction of being Arizona’s first transgender emperor.

Marie: The Tyra Marie Hispanic Scholarship Program means a lot to me because if it wouldn’t have been for these types of scholarships I probably wouldn’t have attended a four-year university. I come from a family of immigrants and my parents always advised me how important education is. I got scholarships Feature Story

Broadway, who started performing seven years ago, is a former Mr. Phoenix Pride and was just wrapping his year as a national titleholder – 2017 Mister USofA MI – which he saw as a perfect segue to the throne.

Echo: What made you decide to run for emperor? Broadway: … I’ve always had an aspiration to be emperor but, because of all of the good stuff I’ve learned as

Eddie: There are tons of amazing budding leaders that are waiting to learn about how to give back to their community. Youth are important to bring to the court to help the future of the court as well as help the future of grassroots organizers. We need their passion and drive for wanting to give back and learn. Echo: What can you tell us about the new grant you’ll be introducing? Broadway: My grant is called The Broadway Gatlyn Spectrum Grant. This grant is to assist the trans* community in gender affirmation surgery. Currently there is nothing like this in Arizona … my hope is this will be a yearly thing to help numerous members of the trans* community become their authentic self … This year’s goal is $5,000 for one person; one day we hope to be able to give out numerous grants per year. Interested applicants can keep up with how to apply on my social media or at imperialcourtaz.org.

READ THE REST For Echo’s full interviews with Empress XIII Tyra Marie and Emperor XIII Eddie Broadway, visit echomag.com/reign-xiii.

Laura Latzko is a Phoenix-area freelance writer, originally from Michigan, who holds a bachelor’s degree in English and communication studies from Hollins University and a master’s degree in journalism from the University of Missouri.

EchoMag.com

AUGUST 2018

at the box office

By Tuesday Mahrle

Church & State In theaters Aug. 10 | Not yet rated | 84 Minutes | Documentary

Nico, 1988 In theaters Aug. 1 | R | 94 Minutes | Biography

Nico, 1988 follows Christa Päffgen aka Nico, lead singer of the cult band The Velvet Underground. Now close to 50 years old, she lives a quiet life in Manchester – a stark contrast to her ’60s glam days with Andy Warhol, drugs and life on the road. As her career deteriorates, her new manager convinces the singer/ songwriter to go back on tour through Europe for her newest album. As she begins the journey, her demons return as she tries to rekindle a relationship with her estranged son and find herself again. Written and directed by Susanna Nicchiarelli, this biopic reveals a glimpse at the woman behind the icon.

In 2013, a surprising federal court ruling legalized gay marriage in Utah. In a state where the Mormon church has a strong grip on local and state government officials, this should have been an impossible task. Church & State follows an inexperienced gay activist with the support of a tiny Salt Lake City law firm as they celebrate the triumphs, struggle through setbacks and start the movement that would ultimately help the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same-sex unions nationwide.

The Little Stranger The Miseducation of Cameron Post In theaters Aug. 3 | Not yet rated | 91 Minutes | Drama

This American-British film, based on the novel by Emily M. Danforth, made its world premiere at the 2018 Sundance Film Festival. The film displays some of our biggest fears – which were heartbreaking childhood realities for others. Set in 1992, young Cameron Post is caught with another girl in the backseat of a car on prom night and is quickly shipped off to a conversion therapy camp that treats teens “struggling with same-sex attraction.” At the center, Cameron must survive “de-gaying” methods, prayer groups and teachings to curb her unholy desires. Luckily, she finds her chosen family among the outcasts. The film tackles the societal question: Is homosexuality a choice? 40

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In theaters Aug. 31 | Not yet rated | 112 Minutes | Horror, Thriller, Mystery

Dr. Faraday, the son of a housemaid, has built a life of quiet respectability as a country doctor. In the summer of 1948, he travels to Hundreds Hall, a place his mother worked when he was a young boy which he finds in a state of decline. As he tends to a patient in the Ayres family, it becomes apparent that and something evil is haunting the household that’s been owned and inhabited by the family for more than two centuries. While this film has no LGBTQ actors or characters, the movie is based off the only non-gay novel written by Sarah Waters.

Tuesday Mahrle is a film critic and host of “Whiskey and Popcorn,” a Phoenix-based movie podcast. MOVIES

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Pink Martini

Jan. · 7:30 p.m. “The songs swoosh past like fabulous gowns in a vintage fashion parade” - Telegraph

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Feb. 2 · 7:30 p.m. “The best ballerinas at the moment are hairy and male.” - Spectator le 9 Sa ber O nvem o N

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Mar. 14 - 16 · Times Vary “I was laughing too hard to breathe!” - LA Times

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Apr. 26 · 7:00 p.m. & 9:30 p.m. Contains Adult Content “An intoxicating and unmissable cocktail of power and vulnerability.” - The Times

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Brandon prepares chicken paprikash with spaetzle, while talking about his close connection to his family and Jewish heritage.

Chris, who runs Take Me Home Projects in London, makes milk rice, fresh coconut sambal, egg sothi, cucumber salad and peanut kathirikai (aubergine).

“Home”

New queer cooking series leaves viewers hungry for more By David-Elijah Nahmod

he kitchen is an intimate place and sharing a meal with someone – whether it’s a family member or a guest from abroad – is said to be a key component to social relationships and cultural rituals. With most shared meals comes conversation and connections, which is precisely what filmmaker Michael Chernak is tapping into with “Home, A Queer Cooking Series.” According to the series’ website, homequeercooking.com, “Home is inclusive. Home is about real food. It’s about coming together, taking care of each other and sharing our stories. It seeks to create loving, human and honest images of queer people through something we all do each day. Food brings people together, it’s personal and creates intimacy.”

Mark T. Cox talks about his past as an organ boy at his church in Ireland as he prepares his spin on an Irish breakfast with sweet potato cakes and fried eggs.

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In one installment we meet Jess, a queer woman of color, a mother and a nurse who lives in Binghamton, N.Y. Jess talks about LadyFest, a communitybased, not-for-profit global music and arts festival for feminist and women artists that she’s responsible for bringing more diversity to. Jess then proceeds to her kitchen to make a vegan dish – a loaded sweet potato with vegetable stir fry and tahini sauce – which she says was inspired by a girl she dated recently. In just under five minutes, the episode is over. In another episode we meet Georgeous Michael, a London-based drag king whose act is inspired by the late George Michael. Michael is then seen in their kitchen, where they share that they also volunteer with and help run Fringe, queer

film and arts festival as they bake bread from scratch for a dish called “Boiled eggs and Soldiers,” which reminds them of their dad. This episode lasts just under six minutes. If there is any criticism of “Home: A Queer Cooking Series,” it’s that episodes are too short. These are only two examples of Chernak leaving his audience hungry for more. Viewers may want to know more about LadyFest and its performers or they may want to see Michael performing on stage. Both subjects, who come across as likable, interesting individuals, are seen all too briefly and give out too little information about themselves and the dishes they create. And yet, “Home: A Queer Cooking Series” is still enjoyable due to the friendly and welcoming nature of

Georgeous Michael, a London-based drag king, makes “Boiled Eggs and Soldiers” while sharing how baking can be a healthy distraction from to daily demands.

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Jess is a queer mom, nurse and activist makes a loaded sweet potato while sharing how past relationships helped open her mind to healthy eating.

Chernak’s subjects as they invite us into their homes. There’s an intimacy to each episode and a relatable nature to the subjects he’s chosen; these are people who could become our friends. According to Chernak, that’s precisely his intention for the series. “I rarely see honest and intimate images of queer people in the media,” Chernak said. “I wish to create honest and intimate images of queer people as a filmmaker documenting the LGBTQ community. Cooking is a very intimate act to do for someone. For me food is always surrounded with memories of friends and loved ones and togetherness.” Now living in London, the native New Yorker recalled his younger years living upstate with his ex-boyfriend. “We put on potlucks and dinner parties for our queer hippie friends,” he said. “There weren’t many gay bars or groups in upstate New York to connect with people, so we created a space where we could invite our queer friends, and anyone else we knew, to come and enjoy a meal. The way someone cooks is very telling of a person, whether it’s intentional or not.

I always had the most productive and loving conversations with people about queer politics, relationships and love at these dinners.” Chernak does not appear on camera in the episodes – the subject of each episode is the only person the audience sees – though he says that he has thought of conducting on-camera interviews. He does, however, get to sample the mouth-watering meals his interviewees create. “I actually sit down and have a meal with the queer people in the episodes,” he said. “We get to know each other throughout this intimate process. A lot of people in the episodes I can now call my friends.” Additionally, Chernak pointed out, each episode is a collaborative effort between him and his subject. “We talk about the structure of the narrative for the episode while we are cooking,” he explained. “Everything I edit is seen by the person in the episode before it is posted, so they have freedom to give edits and have freedom to take control of how they are represented in the episodes.”

And when we asked for seconds, Chernak addressed the shortness of the episodes. “At some point they will become longer, and the new episodes will get a little more in depth with the participants,” he said. “The series is constantly expanding. I try and reach out to people at local events in London. I reach out to people on social media with photos, videos, spotlights of the people who are participating in the episodes. People have helped to lift my project up and get more people to see it. The queer community is very supportive that way.” “Home, A Queer Cooking Series” is now streaming on Revry, the first-ever global queer streaming service. For more information, episodes and recipes, visit homequeercooking.com. David-Elijah Nahmod is an American-Israeli writer who’s lived in New York City, Tel Aviv and is currently based in San Francisco. He’s been published in LGBT publications, monster magazines and SF Weekly, and can be reached on Facebook as David-Elijah Nahmod, Author and on Twitter at @DavidElijahN.

Jonha, an artist and a farmer from upstate New York, talks about the importance of whole foods as he cooks a pizza from scratch.

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AUGUST 2018

Left to right: Bridget McManus, Karman Kregloe, Cat Davis and Kristen Smith. Photos courtesy of “Happy Wife, Happy Life.”

“Happy Wife, Happy Life” Bridget McManus launches third season of lesbian talk show By Megan Wadding

ame-sex marriage has been legally recognized in Massachusetts since 2004, and it’s been 10 years since same-sex couples were first issued marriage licenses in California (and yes, we all know what happened Nov. 5, 2008). Still, to look at the wedding industry or at mainstream media you’d never guess that there are same-sex couples celebrating more than a decade (or nearly two, in some cases) of lawfully wedded bliss from coast-to-coast. Addressing this underrepresentation was one of the driving forces behind the talk show-style web series “Happy Wife, Happy Life” (HWHL). The show, which kicked off its third season with telloFilms June 3, features two happily married lesbian couples who offer refreshingly funny and uniquely lesbian insights on married life – from “being a wife and having a wife, and being a wife that has a wife …” Together, the show’ s hosts – Bridget McManus and Karman Kregloe, who have been married for 10 years, and Cat Davis and Kristen Smith, who tied the

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knot two and a half years ago – discuss and debate relationship topics in a lighthearted and informative format. But, as the show’s promo emphasizes, “Be forewarned, we are not qualified to give advice. We just like being married and we want to keep it that way.” Created and produced by longtime collaborators Davis and McManus, HWHL was a result of a brainstorm session in which they were trying to come up with an idea for a show that they would actually watch themselves. “We are both obsessed with our wives and never think there is enough positive lesbian representation out there,” McManus said, “And, voila, ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life’ was born!” McManus and Davis have worked on shows – individually and together – and their credit reel includes “Brunch With Bridget,” “Bridget McManus Presents: That Time of The Month,” “Cat on The Prowl,” “Is This Awesome?” and the satirical news series, “We Have Issues.” According to McManus, they are both comfortable with the talk show format.

Luckily their wives were also willing to jump on-board. “Cat’s wife was on-board right away. My wife took a little convincing,” McManus said. “She’s a private person and wasn’t sure she wanted to share our personal life with the public, but she knew it was important to me, so she caved. That’s what marriage is, caving and compromising.” Since Season 1 premiered, McManus said the show’s received all sorts of positive feedback from single and married viewers alike. “One viewer told us that she was using our show as research for her future marriage,” McManus recalled. “But the main thing we hear from everyone is that they wish the episodes were longer. As a show creator, that is the best thing you can hear from your audience.”

Happy Engagement On each episode of HWHL, the fourwoman panel answers viewer-submitted questions on topics related to lesbian marriage – from sexual etiquette to relationships with in-laws and ground rules for productive fighting to various ex-related scenarios. The majority of the show’s content revolves around questions viewers submit via email, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. While the questions are reviewed to ensure they don’t prompt repetitive discussions, McManus said they never know what they are going to talk about ahead of time. STREAMING

“We just draw questions from a bowl and say whatever comes to mind,” she said. “The bowl usually has 60 questions in it and we end up pulling two or three per episode.”

marriage, but I’m glad those two are on the same page in their marriage.”

At the end of each episode, which usually runs between five and 10 minutes, the couples take turns sharing a tidbit of relationship advice with the audience in a segment called “School of Wife.”

“Navigating family is always a tricky topic, and since [Davis] and [Smith] want to eventually become parents, I think they will want to share their insight with the viewers. [Kregloe] and I will be drinking on the sidelines during that segment,” McManus joked.

The show has been an insightful experience for McManus who, even after a decade of marriage, said it’s prompted discussion around managing conflict and differences of opinion within their marriages. “We’re very compatible in our relationships, but we all have different interests and ways of doing things,” she said. “How do you find common ground with your favorite person when you hate her taste in movies or when she doesn’t share your love for socializing? Exploring those types of questions can be entertaining.” It’s always entertaining, she said, to find out where the other hosts stand on some of the issues that come up. “My co-hosts always make me laugh, even when they are wrong about everything,” she said. “In a past episode [Davis and Smith] both agreed that it’s OK to let your person keep a sex tape from a past relationship! Isn’t that insane? That wouldn’t work for my

Starting a family is among topics McManus hopes to cover in future episodes.

Another consideration for down the road has been introducing guests to the panel, to add to the variety of opinions and perspectives on topics. “We are definitely open to having guest lesbian couples join the panel and give insight on their relationships,” she added. “We stress that we are not experts, so we want everyone to take our advice with a grain of salt. Pick what works for you and throw the rest away.”

Happily Ever After McManus, who has been involved in the world of lesbian media via various platforms for some time now, said she believes there still needs to be more – and better – lesbian representation. And she is certainly doing her part to create new and positive content. “There are many talented queer artists in this world, if only they would

Connect with “Happy Wife, Happy Life” Facebook: @happywifehappylifeseries Instagram: @happywifehappylifeseries Twitter: @HWHLseries YouTube: @onemorelesbian

get 10 percent of the coverage that mediocre straight artists do,” she said. “So, we need to keep plugging along, creating the stories we want to see and hiring LGBTQ actors and crew for all of our projects. We have to create more opportunities for queer artists, so we can take over the world. That is my notso-secret agenda for world domination.” As for HWHL, McManus said she would love to take the series to a bigger screen, adding that preparations are being made to evolve the series into a full-fledged television show, which would entail lengthening the episodes by adding more segments. The series is currently part of an Emmy For Your Consideration campaign and is hoping to be nominated for in the Outstanding Short Form Variety Series category. All three seasons of HWHL are available for streaming via telloFilms (seasons 1 and 3 require a subscription). For more information, visit tellofilms. com/series/happy-wife-happy-life.

Happy Anniversary Co-hosts share IRL love story

ridget McManus and Karman Kregloe, one half of the “Happy Wife, Happy Life” host panel, will be celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary in August. “We want to share our love story with our very best friends,” she explained. “For our five-year wedding anniversary, we had a vow renewal. This time we’ve asked each of our friends to give a toast or share a story about our family.” The couple was married back in West Hollywood during the period of time in 2008 when it was legal. “We were lucky that we were a part of the 18,000 [same-sex] couples that were able to get married before the hateful Proposition 8 passed in November 2008,” McManus asserted. “We secretly eloped, so no one knew we were married. We didn’t even have a friend act as a witness, just an officiant and a

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photographer. It was very romantic.” Even though McManus said she knew the very moment she met Kregloe that they would end up married, it felt different somehow after they were able to tie the knot legally. “[Getting married] made us even closer: her victories are my victories; her heartbreaks are my heartbreaks. We truly are a team. Neither of us can believe it has been [a decade]. It feels like we just got married,” McManus said. “Everything she does makes me laugh. Everything. She does a great Liza Minnelli impersonation, she’s smart, witty and, most importantly, she’s a weirdo like me. She’s a jackass and I just adore her. Every day gets better and better.” Looking back on a decade of marriage, McManus said that she believes one of the most important things for newlyweds to learn is that “it is better

to be happy than to be right,” so choose your battles wisely. “After you get married you see the bigger picture. Things that used to bother you won’t really matter anymore because all you want to do it keep the peace and have a harmonious household,” she said. “My goal in my marriage is to support and encourage my wife and her dreams.” The hardest thing about married life, for McManus, is being away from Kregloe. Megan Wadding is a freelance writer and travel addict with a degree in journalism. Follow her on Twitter at @MeganWadding. EchoMag.com

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between the covers

Equally Wed By Terri Schlichenmeyer

our beloved asked. And you said “yes.” That’s all it took: so simple, yet so momentous and now you’re getting married. But even though LGBTQ couples have been legally tying the knot – read: entering into nationally recognized matrimony – since the United States Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality three summers (and four wedding issues) ago, this can still be considered relatively new territory in some aspects.

In the new book Equally Wed: The Ultimate Guide to Planning your LGBTQ+ Wedding Kirsten Palladino details countless ways to make your big day a reflection of you both. In short, your vows will wow! “What was once a distant hope for millions of gay and lesbian couples was now a fully realized right for all,” Lance Bass and Michael Turchin share in the book’s foreword. “For the first time, all LGBTQ+ couples could begin the exciting yet daunting task of planning legally recognized weddings, and as we began to plan our very own wedding, we were faced with a whole new set of questions and challenges.” Like many people, Palladino grew up dreaming of the perfect wedding. She could just picture it – but making it happen started out wrong: when she got engaged to her now-wife, Maria, and went looking for help getting started, she could only find books for straight couples. That was definitely not going to work, so the Palladinos created an online wedding magazine equallywed.com), and this book.

So, you just got engaged. As you might guess, there’s a lot of planning that goes into a wedding, starting with whom (and how) you tell about it. Palladino advocates being gentle with family members who may feel uncomfortable. She says, “… give them some time” and know how to decide to invite them or not.

Ever since you were small, you’ve dreamed of getting married but, if you don’t have a model to follow, it can be hard to know where to start and where to get what you Equally Wed by Kirsten Palladino, foreword by want. Equally Wed Time Lance Bass and Michael Turchin. shows prospective management will Seal Press, 2017 | $17.99. “grides” and be your friend “brooms” the path. in this process, so find a system that Beginning with gender-neutral terms works for you and be faithful to it. for wedding participants, Palladino Keep phone numbers, contracts, ideas, progresses through the year-plus-long lists, worksheets and budgets in the preparations for the perfect wedding, same place, and keep track of all gifts and beyond. received. Take a look at Palladino’s list of possible items needed, then remember Prospective newlyweds will find lists, that nothing there is mandatory. bullet points and useful reminders for

Kirsten Palladino (left) and her wife, Maria, on their wedding day. Photos courtesy of equallywed.com.

Decide on the kind of wedding you want, the venue you’ve dreamed about, and the size of your ceremony. Remember that age and gender of attendants isn’t cast in stone, and the only requisite for attire is comfort.

things they may never have considered, including ideas that some may consider “over-the-top.” But it’s your day, so you decide. Still, Palladino stresses that individualization is what makes a wedding special and that “Something will go wrong on your wedding day,” but nobody can ruin it unless you let them.

Know which “wedding pros” you’ll need – a planner, photographer, videographer, the officiant, baker, bartenders and DJ – and what questions to ask them to make your day special.

This is an easy-to-use book that covers all bases, from “will you?” to “I do.” If there’s a wedding in your future and you need a starting point, Equally Wed is a big “YES!”

Remember that flowers are optional or you both can carry bouquets; in fact, your decorations and what you carry down the aisle can be 48

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anything unique to the two of you. Personalize the ceremony in ways that make you happy; there are all kinds of options – it’s your wedding.

Terri Schlichenmeyer, The Bookworm, lives on a hill in Wisconsin with two dogs and 13,000 books. She’s been reading since age 3 and, to this day, she never goes anywhere without a book. books

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Not That You Asked

appearance by former child television personality Danny Pintauro. Still, like most areas of my life, I am evolving on the topic of weddings. I can see the value that other people place on them and respect that they may want to make a huge deal about saying to their partner “I want to share living expenses and ultimately have separate bedrooms because both of us snore.” And doing so in front of other people is important, too. If that makes someone I care about happy, then I’m happy. Mind you, I haven’t altered my stance that a huge wedding isn’t for me. For starters, I hate getting dressed up. I don’t mind being dressed up … it’s getting dressed up that is the struggle. Secondly, because of my impossibly high standards I would undoubtedly be subject to the whispers from the Altar Andrews and Canopy Kellys, the ones such as “How did Buddy get him?” and “Buddy must have a great personality.” (Spoiler alert: I do.) Finally, I am a firm believer that $40,000 in credit card debt should be reserved for running up giant bar tabs in your 20s, not a one-night party.

Wedding Belle Blues By Buddy Early

here’s a common saying that goes “If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get gay married.” Or something like that. “Gay married” is a nonsensical term, but I think it’s funny to say and the word police haven’t told me to stop saying it yet, so I use it during these times when we need some levity. Anyway, the basic notion is that if you don’t like something or if something doesn’t line up with your own values and morals—and that something in no way affects your life or your loved ones or your community in any way—you can maintain your disapproval and still not interfere with others’ enjoyment of life. Worry about things that actually affect you. Try getting laid, even; from what I remember that helps people chill out. This philosophy applies to so many things right now, when people across our land need a big shot of Mind Your Own Business and Let Others Be Happy. But I don’t need to write a column in this magazine that preaches to the choir. There’s no need for me to chastise the BBQ Beckys and the Permit Pattys and the Splash Pad Susies. (I made that last one up, but by the time this prints she probably exists.) Rather, I choose this month to acknowledge my own bias, a bias not against gay marriage, but against gay 50

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weddings. Actually, all weddings. To be clear, I’m not shutting the door on marriage. I am definitely open to the idea of sharing my life with another person, particularly if said person comes with a robust retirement account, rock hard abs, no mommy issues, and just wants me to lay there. After all, isn’t that the American Dream? Especially the just laying there part? Back to weddings. I put them in the same category as proms, bat mitzvahs, graduations and basically any black tie event. I avoid them if I can, since they’re not about me and if they were I’d be really uncomfortable asking friends, family, acquaintances, fans and haters to come spend several hours paying attention to me. Weddings used to be easy to avoid, because I could pull out the old “I refuse to attend an event at which my government does not legally recognize me as one of the key participants.” Then that barrier to me attending weddings was removed. (Thanks, Obama.) Tangent alert: This seems like as good a time as any to mention that I also cringe at the idea of someone trying to snag my hand in matrimony via some elaborate proposal that includes a flash mob, my fourth grade teacher, fireworks, and an

Having come around to the realization, however, that showing up and honoring my friends’ whims will not negatively affect me, I’ve learned something very important about being a wedding guest. And it’s this: don’t be extra. The wedding day is about the bride and groom … or the groom and groom, or the bride and bride … or whatever it is we’re calling them when we’re not doing labels. Don’t upstage the guest(s) of honor on the dance floor; don’t make a toast when nobody has asked you to do so, especially if your connection to the happy couple is as the bitter ex-lover; and, by all means, do not think to yourself that the cake looks terrific and they won’t notice this small corner piece missing if you sort of “rebuild” it with cream cheese frosting. Don’t ask how I know, but trust me on that last one. Most people could probably start their own list of Ways to Not Be Extra at Weddings, which is a great idea for anyone about to attend one. I know I’ve got mine, which is all I need to attend the next fabulous affair for which I am hoping the invitation specifies guests should wear shorts and flip-flops. Because that’s how I would want people dressed at the wedding I hope to never have. Enjoy your gay weddings, everyone! Buddy Early grew up in Tempe and has been involved in various communities across the Valley since. He is a former managing editor of both Echo Magazine and Compete Magazine. Community

Don’t miss an issue all year!

Meet LGBTQ community members who are using their experiences to make a difference all year long LGBTQ NEWS, VIEWS AND ENTERTAINMENT | VOL. 29, #7 | ISSUE 703 | APRIL 2018 | COMPLIMENTARY

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AUGUST 2018

to make fitness one of the biggest, if not the biggest, part of their lives. But, if you and your S.O. work out together constantly, consider taking up another solo or friend-based activity to achieve that perfect balance.

Talking Bodies

Pro: Fitness can be another arena in which you learn what your S.O. needs, what happens when they’re vulnerable and how to practice patience (lots and lots and lots of patience). Suggestion: They’re going to have good days and bad days, just like you. Find out what they do well and not-so-well, and then be the person who can pick up the slack where they fall short. For example, maybe you’re great at nutrition and they’re dedicated to never skipping workouts – combine your strengths to become a complete package. Divide and conquer!

The pros and cons of fitness with your S.O. By Tia Norris

t’s been said that couples who sweat together, stay together. But, from a trainer’s perspective, is that really true?

Through both personal and professional experience, I can definitely say that finding the right fitness partner is almost just as difficult as finding the right romantic partner. The vetting process for these relationships is complicated and there is a lot that can go wrong. At the same time, if you’ve got a good dynamic and the right practices in place, pursuing a fitness goal with your significant other can be indescribably rewarding. While I’m certainly not a relationship counselor, I’ve put together my list of pros and cons for working out with your bae. Pro: Time spent training can become time spent together. Let’s be real, fitness is time-consuming. Whether it’s an hour or two in the gym each day or a long trail run or bike ride on the weekend, spending too much time apart can start to chip away at an otherwise solid relationship. So, if you can share this significant undertaking – the good, the bad, the challenges, and the triumphs together – it can be an unforgettable

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EchoMag.com

adventure that only the two of you share. Suggestion: If your S.O. is interested in fitness, sports or hobbies that differ from yours, ask questions and take interest. This is a huge part of their life and they are committed to it for a reason. Try exploring the activity yourself, or at least have conversations about why it matters to them and if there’s anything you can do to become involved. I’ve seen too many relationships crumble over the inability to connect on fitness – while one partner is training away on something important to them, the other partner begins to harbor resentment for the time being invested elsewhere. Get involved, period! Fitness is hard and having a supportive partner will help the relationship go the distance. Con: Too much time together can also be a bad thing. It’s healthy to have space, reasonable distance and unique identities away from and outside of each other. Avoid the pitfall: If you do, in fact, participate in the same fitness program as your partner, be sure to create space otherwise. Fitness enthusiasts tend

Con: A little friendly competition is sexy, but the cutthroat, ruthless, killer instinct kind of competition just doesn’t work for most people. Instead, focus on finding the fun in your shared experience. And, under no circumstances, should fitness become a serious competition. Take it from me: it will go south eventually, definitely when one of you is in the wrong mood. Avoid the pitfall: Be secure in your own abilities. This includes being genuinely happy when your partner succeeds – even when they beat you. If you’re throwing temper tantrums when you lose, perhaps that’s something to bring up with your therapist, honey. Pro: Achieving a sexy body that your sexy partner can do sexy things with. This works vice versa. You know what I mean? Suggestion: Work hard at your fitness, so that you and your partner can reap the benefits of having acquired all that strength, stamina and flexibility. Con: I can’t think of single thing. You’re welcome. Remember, being a fitness partner is a lot like being a life partner. Make the most of your time together but be sure to have a unique identity outside of each other. If you can’t share the same passion, then strike a genuine interest in your partner’s passion (if you want to make it last). Push yourself to be your best, but don’t throw a fit if – or when – your partner does better than you. Instead, celebrate their successes! Oh, and have lots of good sex with your fit, healthy bodies. That’s health advice that I think everyone can get behind, right?

Tia Norris is the president and head trainer at FitPro, LLC, a local fitness company. Find out more at fitprollc.com. Health & Fitness

Arturo Carnighan July 4, 1965 – June 24, 2018

It is with deepest sadness and most heartfelt sorrow that we must share with you the news that Arturo Carnighan, our beloved bassist and former president of the board of directors of Voices of the Desert, passed away peacefully in his sleep in the early morning hours of June 24, 2018. Arturo was largely responsible for the existence of Voices of the Desert through his many years of service on the board and well-established connections in our surrounding community. Arturo’s effervescent smile, sense of humor, compassion and dedication were an integral part of who we are. Arturo helped build Voices of the Desert into the sustainable chorus that it has become. We will greatly miss Arturo’s constant energy and drive for success. Our prayers, our thoughts, our loving energy goes

out to Arturo’s family and many friends as together we struggle through this difficult time. We will always remember Arturo’s funloving spirit an honor him through song, compassion, generosity and engagement and emulation of his loving principles as we strengthen each other and our community as a whole. Thank you, Arturo, for granting us the gift of having you in our lives and learning all you had to teach us in the time that we shared. Arturo was the oldest of five children. He was a loving son, brother and the greatest uncle. He is survived by his mother, Guadalupe Carnighan, and four siblings, Anthony Carnighan, Raymundo Carnighan, Ersilia Carnighan and Adrian Turrado. He was preceded in death by his father, Arturo O. Carnighan. Courtesy of Voices of the Desert

EchoMag.com

AUGUST 2018

Guest Columnist

ACLU:

Enforcing nondiscrimination laws is not a sign of anti-religious bias By James Esseks

n the morning of June 25, the U.S. Supreme Court refused to take up another challenge to state nondiscrimination laws protecting LGBTQ people. Instead, it asked the Washington Supreme Court to take a fresh look at a case about a flower shop that refused to sell flowers to a samesex couple for their wedding in violation of state law. The remand provides a chance for the state court to clarify the meaning of the Supreme Court’s recent decision in Masterpiece Cakeshop as it applies to this case. In 2017, the Washington Supreme Court ruled unanimously for the same-sex couple in Arlene’s Flowers v. Washington, and there’s no reason to think its analysis and ruling will change when it reconsiders the case in light of the Masterpiece Cakeshop decision.

held that the Colorado Civil Rights Commission displayed anti-religious bias when ruling on Dave and Charlie’s discrimination claim. This bias, the court said, invalidated the commission’s ruling against the bakery. The constitutional problem that the Supreme Court found in the bakery case — anti-religious bias by a government adjudicator — is simply not present in the flower shop case. A ruling for the couple in Arlene’s Flowers on remand would underscore that the Supreme Court’s decision in Masterpiece Cakeshop does not provide a license to discriminate against LGBTQ people or against anyone else protected by nondiscrimination laws.

The Masterpiece case involved Dave Mullins and Charlie Craig, a samesex couple who went to a Denver bakery in search of a cake for their wedding reception. When the bakery refused to sell them a cake because they are a same-sex couple, they sued under Colorado’s longstanding nondiscrimination law. The bakery claimed that the Constitution’s protection of free speech and freedom of religion gave it the right to discriminate regardless of the state’s civil rights law.

The facts in the Arlene’s Flowers case are quite similar to the bakery case — with one crucial difference. Rob Ingersoll and Curt Freed went to Arlene’s Flowers, a local florist in their small Eastern Washington town, seeking flowers for their wedding. The flower shop refused to sell them flowers because of the owner’s religious objection to same-sex couples getting married. Rob and Curt had been planning a wedding with about 100 of their close friends and family, but after being turned away by the flower shop, they were fearful of being turned away by other vendors.

The Supreme Court’s decision did not decide that question. Instead, it

Consequently, they decided to scale their wedding back to a private ceremony

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at home with 10 people, which they could arrange with minimal help from outside vendors. Just as in Masterpiece Cakeshop, the state courts in Arlene’s Flowers ruled unanimously that the flower shop unlawfully discriminated against Rob and Curt when it refused to sell them flowers. They also rejected the businesses’ claim that the Constitution gave them a right to violate the state’s discrimination law. There is, however, one critical difference between Arlene’s Flowers and Masterpiece Cakeshop: There is no evidence in Arlene’s Flowers of anti-religious bias on the part of the Washington courts that ruled against the flower shop. In fact, the Washington courts have repeatedly recognized the importance of religious freedom. Alliance Defending Freedom, the antiLGBTQ group that represents both the bakery and the flower shop, is arguing that Washington Attorney General Bob Ferguson displayed anti-religious bias that violates the rule set forth in the Masterpiece Cakeshop decision by seeking to enforce the state’s antidiscrimination law against the flower shop. It’s the job of the Washington attorney general to enforce the state’s laws, including its laws barring discrimination. Bringing a charge of discrimination against a business that is open to the public but turns away customers because they are LGBTQ is not an anti-religious act, it’s the neutral enforcement of the law. Attorney General Ferguson has repeatedly sought to enforce the Constitution’s protections for freedom of religion, for example, by challenging the Muslim ban to stop the federal government’s explicit discrimination against people based on their religion. The remand of Arlene’s Flowers to the Washington Supreme Court provides an opportunity for that court to make clear that enforcing civil rights laws is not a sign of anti-religious bias and to reject the argument that the state violated the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in Masterpiece Cakeshop.

James Esseks is the director of the ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender & HIV Project.

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10 10

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1724 E. McDowell Road

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D, E

15 15

KOBALT

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16 16

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18 18

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1804 W. Bethany Home Road

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4343 N. Seventh Ave.

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1440 E. Indian School Road

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4129 N. Seventh Ave.

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MAP CODES: A M F MF

Adult Retail & Entertainment Mostly Males Mostly Females Mixed Male/Female

LOCAL BAR GUIDE BUSNESSES

N R D C

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EchoMag.com | OCTOBER AUGUST 2018 EchoMag.com | | FEBRUARY EchoMag.com 2015

59 61 93

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OUT & ABOUT

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S $1 drafts & HH prices all day & night

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M 7 p.m. Darts with Acxell

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T Latin Night with Diego W 9 p.m. Karaoke T Underwear night: $1 off all drinks if in

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STACYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S @ MELROSE S $1.50 Rolling Rock & Wells, Open - 7p.m.; Showtime 7 p.m.-10 p.m.; $1 Rolling Rock & Wells; $2.50 Bud Light; $3 Fireball shots 7 p.m.-Close; Happy Hours 10 p.m.-Close

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AUGUST MAY 2018 2018 | EchoMag.com | EchoMag.com

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OUT & ABOUT ArizonaDrag.comâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Diamond Crystal Awards July 6 at The Rock, Phoenix. Photos by nightfuse.com.

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REALTORS

Benefits Arizona 55 Edward Vasquez, Allstate 3

Arizona Gay Realtors Alliance 3 Berney Streed, Re/Max Excalibur 56 Bradley B. Brauer, HomeSmart 3 David Oesterle, ReMax 3 Fred Delgado Team, Keller Williams 3 Jan Dahl, HomeSmart 3 Matthew Hoedt, Realty One 3 Melinda Murphy, Lifestyle Partners 43 Nicholas Yale, Brokers Hub Realty 3 Shawn Hertzog, West USA 3

MARKETING

RELIGIOUS GROUPS

HOSPICE Hospice of the Valley

INSURANCE

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MORTGAGES Caliber Home Loans 51 Jeremy Schachter, Fairway Independent Mortgage Corp. 3

CVS Specialty Pharmacy Fairmont Pharmacy

Foto Forum

Community Church of Hope

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RESTAURANTS China Chili Hula’s Modern Tiki

55 55

RETAIL The Chute

PHARMACIES

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PHOTOGRAPHY

HOME SERVICES

Bunkhouse

Carpet Depot Don’s Painting Service Lyons Roofing Precision Air Quandt Landscaping Rainbow Bug Tilton Electric TRM Roofing Valdez Refrigeration

RETIREMENT PLANNING Calvin Goetz, Strategy Financial Group

SALONS Exodus Hair Studio Salon 24

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WELLNESS Adelante Healthcare 13 Anytime Fitness 64 FitPro, LLC 56 IGNITE 11 Illumina Helath 5 Mytesi 15 Southwest Center for HIV/ AIDS 17 Willo Medi Spa 57 lambda directory

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