Back row: Taylor and Jordan. Front row: Dawn, Skyler, and Stacy
Happy endings are possible, even in 2020 By Tom Reardon
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awn Wallschlaeger and Stacy Mitchell Wallschlaeger adopted Skyler in August of 2019 and their story is possibly the happiest, most empowering story you will read in all of 2020. What does it take to adopt or foster a child? If this is a question you have ever asked yourself or talked about with your partner, the following paragraphs are for you. If you grew up in the system, a number more than a name and maybe (no, probably) never found the right place for you, this story is also for you. For me, it is just a privilege to get to be the guy asking questions and getting answers. Dawn Wallschlaeger and Stacy Mitchell Wallschlaeger are two of the coolest people you could ever meet. Sure, they love the Denver Broncos, but even if you’re a Raiders (what town do they represent again, now, oh yeah, Las Vegas) or a Kansas City Chiefs fan, you still couldn’t walk away from meeting these two without feeling good about yourself and the world, for that matter. They are both social workers whose efforts are entwined with finding the best possible life for the children in Phoenix who need it the most, foster kids. They are also the adoptive parents of Skyler Mitchell Wallschlaeger, 17, who they were lucky enough to meet in late 2018 and officially add to their family several months later. Stacy and Dawn, who have been together for ten years, have three other children, all sons. Two are older (Zander, 35, and Taylor,
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20) than Sklyer, and one is younger (Jordan, 16). They were were licensed to provide foster care in Arizona previous to meeting Skyler, although at the time of meeting them, were not really looking to add to their family. Stacy had taken a tough fall in the months prior to hearing about Skyler and the couple had also had a difficult experience with a previous foster child, so they were taking a break from the idea of adding to their family when fellow social workers started telling them about “this kid.” What follows is some of the conversation we shared over Zoom on a Monday night in November. Stacy, Dawn, and Skyler were generous with their time and their story with hope that it may help other children find forever families of their own. Here’s what they had to say: So, tell me how you came to meet Skyler. Stacy: So, we, we are members of a couple of different foster parents’ groups on Facebook. One in particular for LGBT parents, and the special recruiter that was working with Skyler had put them on Facebook. At the time, we really weren’t looking and were a little gun shy about it. Then we saw Skyler’s story from the special recruiter and talked about it. I don’t look at Facebook very often, so for us to see it at the time, it just seemed right. That was November 2018. We first met Sklyer right before Christmas, 2018. Is it challenging for you both to be on both sides of the system? What is that experience like? Dawn: Stacy and I both work in their field.
We’re both social workers in child welfare, a lot of people who have been licensed for a while work in the fields of social work here in Arizona for 25 and 35 years. Sometimes that’s a benefit and sometimes it’s not such a great thing. Skyler came into our lives actually in a couple different ways. Stacy was looking at Facebook, and I was kind of perusing through that and we have a mutual friend, a special recruiter for Arizona Children’s Association, Jen Workman, who was looking for a samesex couple, specifically, to advocate for Skyler; and we were also approached by Ricky Deadwood, who is now at DCS, who privately reached out and said, “This is really gonna be a great match for you. You guys really need to look at this.” I was still recovering so we kind of put it off a little bit and Skyler just kept coming up. It was just kind of meant to be. Stacy and I really feel strongly about things happening for a reason and it was very persistent for us. Skylar was just very persistent about that so there’s a lot of things that kind of came to fruition. What was it about Skyler’s story that spoke to you? Stacy: First I will tell you that “Skyler” is not Skyler’s birth name. It is Skyler’s chosen name. The part of the story I think that resonated for us … When we got licensed (for foster care), we decided that we wanted to do a couple of things. We wanted to focus on teenagers and kids that were in group homes because what we know from working in the business is that kids languish in group homes and they get to the point they don’t want families or families are looking for younger kids, all that kind of stuff. We were like, if we’re really going to do this, then we want to go where we are really needed, and we know the need is for kids in group homes. And we also know that the need is there for LGBTQ homes and that’s something that we can provide that other families can’t provide. That understanding, that acceptance, that ability to walk this path. Gender identity was part of Skyler’s story and they were a teenager in group homes. At that point, they had been in the system for six years. Oh wow. Stacy: The parent’s rights had severed when they were ten. Dawn: Many, many, many different placements. So, there was a lot of upheaval and a lot of moving and not and a lot of true stability from our perspective. I think that’s the other piece, right, when you have kiddos that have been in group homes, their sense of stability is instability, and that had become pretty, pretty prevalent. Stacy: Skyler really wanted a family. Dawn: Skyler really wanted a family and wanted a family within the LGBTQ realm. FEATURE STORY
